Classic Radio 09-21-25 - Jack in Scotland, This is America, and Daylight Saving - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Suspense, Shadow Note Washington calling David Honey count.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
As my classic radio Theater, the great Eldest Lade, Zipper
McGhee and Molly Dragoness gun Alone rang Zoe. Now step
back into a time machine.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
It's your host, Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 4 (00:34):
Good evening friend, Vionna Tantu.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
Comedy on this Sunday with episodes of the Jack Benny Program,
The Jack Parr Show Father Knows Best Front and Center
with Dorothy Lamour and her guests Saymoss and Andy Ham.
Will wrap it all up with an episode of Lomon Abner.
That's what's coming up on this Sunday, twenty first day
of September two hundred and sixty fourth day the year,

(01:00):
one hundred and one day's remaining in twenty twenty five
September twenty first do you remember? Yeah, I'll explain why
in a minute. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus
letter published in the New York Sun newspaper on this
date in eighteen ninety seven. It's long gone the newspaper.

(01:21):
The Great Hurricane of nineteen thirty eight made landfall on
Long Island this date in nineteen thirty eight death total
estimated that between five hundred and seven hundred people on
this date. In nineteen fifty seven, Perry Mason, starring Raymond
burd premiered on CBS, and that was the death knell
of what would be a wonderful radio show that Raymond

(01:44):
Byrd did. That was fort Laramie. Number one record on
this date in history belonged to two brothers, last named Parina,
first names Santo and Johnny. They couldn't sleep after playing
a gig one night they started jamming in That song
became Sleepwalk. The premiere of Monday Night Football on this

(02:04):
date in nineteen seventy ABC showed the Cleveland Browns beating
the New York Jets thirty one to twenty one, amid
accusations of scandal and corruption prior to taking office. Burt
Lance resigned on this date in nineteen seventy seven as
the Director of the Oppice of Management and Budget.

Speaker 6 (02:25):
Because of the amount of controversy and a continuing nights
you of office, I have decided to submit my resignation
as Director of OMB. I desire to return to my
native state of Georgia.

Speaker 5 (02:39):
President Carter, reading the Lance resignation, mismanagement and corruption when
Lance was chairman of the board at the Calhoun First
National Bank, forced the resignation in a trial in nineteen
eighty Lance acquitted timing of the chargers bad following the
Nixon Ford debacle in nineteen eighty one, said day O'Connor,

(03:01):
the first female Supreme Court justice, confirmed by the Senate
in a ninety nine to nothing vote.

Speaker 7 (03:07):
As a judge, it is not my function to continue
to try to develop public policy by means of making
the law. It is simply my role to interpret the
laws which the legislature has passed.

Speaker 5 (03:25):
O'Connor served from this date in nineteen eighty one until
January of two thousand and six, serving on the Court
for nearly a quarter century. Speaking to the US Chamber
of Commerce on this date in nineteen eighty three, Secretary
of the Interior James Watt put the final nail in
his coffin with this statement about a coal leasing panel.

Speaker 8 (03:46):
I'veppointed to Leno's commission five members, three Democrats, two Republicans.
Every kind of mix you can have. I have a black,
I have a woman, to Jews and the cripple.

Speaker 5 (03:58):
And what would resign? Days later, consider the most anti
environmental Secretary of the Interior in history. In nineteen eighty nine,
Hurricane Hugo made landfall in South Carolina. In nineteen eighty six,
the Defense of Marriage Act passed Congress a vote of
three hundred forty two to sixty seven in the House

(04:21):
eighty five to fourteen in the Senate. The law prohibited
federal recognition of same sex marriage, while allowing states to
adopt any marital definition of their choosing. The act's provisions
ruled unconstitutional or left effectively unenforceable by Supreme Court decisions
in twenty thirteen and twenty fifteen. In nineteen ninety eight,

(04:42):
Bill Clinton's grand jury testimony about his relationship with a
young female assistant, Monica Lewinsky, released to the US public.
The American people treated to seeing the President make such
compelling statement as it depends on what the meaning of
the word is is. In two thousand and one, America,

(05:03):
a Tribute to Heroes is broadcast by over thirty five
networking cable channels, raising over two hundred million dollars for
the victims of the September eleven attacks. It was in
two thousand and eight that mad Men became the first
Basic cable show to win a Top Series Emmy Award.

(05:24):
And this as I said, the twenty first day of September.
It's mentioned in Earth Wind and Fires very popular song September.
The reference to the twenty first night of September It's
gained a lot of attention to the Internet. Some people
refer to the song on this date, most likely due
to the song spread among those passing away on this

(05:46):
date in history, the delightful Walter Brennan, author Jacqueline Suzanne Sprinter,
Florence Griffith Joyner, also actress Alice Ghostly, and evangelist Humbard.
Birthdays on this date include writer H. G. Wells, composer

(06:07):
Gustav Holtz, the composer of The Planets, Mooney Tunes, animator
Chuck Jones, Rocky and Bullwinkle animator Jay Ward j R. Ewing.
Also the astronaut Larry Hagman, all born on this date.
In history, singer songwriter Leonard Cohen, actor Henry Gibson, and

(06:29):
pro wrestler Jack Briscoe all born on this date. They
all have left the building.

Speaker 9 (06:35):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 10 (06:39):
The following people are now officially older than dirt.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
Gentlemen. I watched when I was very very young, covering
the nineteen sixty six to Peak a Tornado. He turned
to the camera and said, for God's sakes, take cover,
which in nineteen sixty six was something very propocative to
say on television. But you know him from Arts and
Entertainment and the decades television channel. Bill Curtis eighty five

(07:07):
years old today, Film and TV producer Jerry Bruckheimer eighty two. Oh,
you knew her from Match Game and from Fried Green Tomatoes.
Fanny Flag eighty one today. Another author Stephen King seventy eight,
The Eagles, Don felder Is seventy eight. Who You're gonna
call Bill Murray for.

Speaker 11 (07:30):
A moment, Pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy,
engineering or physics, and just tell me what the hell
is going on?

Speaker 5 (07:40):
Bill Murray seventy five years old Today from Full House,
Cut It Out. Dave Coolier sixty six years old, Oh,
from Swing Out, Sister Corin Drewery sixty six years old,
Actor Rob Marrow from Northern Exposure and Numbers is six three.

(08:01):
Singer Faith Hill fifty eight, actress and Talk show hostess
Ricky Lake fifty seven, Carlton on The Fresh Prince of
bel Air. Also from the game show Networks Catch twenty
one and Dancing with the Stars. Alfonso Ribeiro is fifty four.
I've watched him and his family on the Book of Faces.

(08:25):
And a delightful gentleman from Oasis. Liam Gallagher is fifty
three from the Simple Life with Paris Hilton. Nicole Richie
forty four.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
My hair looks so amazing.

Speaker 5 (08:43):
The adopted daughter of Lionel Richie. Nicole Richie forty four
years old today. Violinist Lindsey Sterling, a delightful young lady,
an amazing violinist and a wonderful performer. Lindsay Sling thirty
nine years old Today. Singer Jason Derulo is thirty six

(09:05):
and from The Walking Dead Christian Serratos is thirty five.
Those just a few of the people celebrating the twenty
birthday of September as their birthday. And if this is
your birthday.

Speaker 12 (09:20):
We baked you a birthday.

Speaker 13 (09:23):
K if you get it on Maya and you moan
and grown and low.

Speaker 12 (09:28):
Don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 14 (09:33):
Mcawishneer and blow out the candles.

Speaker 12 (09:36):
Here they go.

Speaker 5 (09:40):
Well, yes, our dignified birthday wishes to you. Now we
will head back. Seventy three years September twenty first, nineteen
fifty two, Jack Benny, that's up next here on Classic
Radio Theater with Fiat Cox.

Speaker 15 (10:05):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 16 (10:07):
The chief hope of our enemies is to divide the
United States along racial and religious lines, and thereby conquerors.
Let's not spread prejudice. A divided America is a week America.
Through our behavior, we encourage the respect of our children
and make them better neighbors to all races and religions.
Remind them that being good neighbors has helped make our

(10:29):
country great and kept her free.

Speaker 5 (10:31):
Thank you, well, good good. Now Let's listen to an
episode of his show, The Jack Benny Program, seventy three
years ago, September twenty first, nineteen fifty two, as Jack
goes shopping with Mary in Scotland.

Speaker 17 (10:48):
Funny program transcribed. I'm presented by Lucky Strike.

Speaker 18 (10:55):
Be Happy, Go Lucky, be happy, get better.

Speaker 12 (10:59):
Take me happy, go Lucky. Get better tastes today.

Speaker 17 (11:03):
This is Don Wilson and Smokers. There's no doubt about it.
Lucky's taste better and this better taste starts with Lucky's
fine tobacco. Yes, ls MFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco
and a cigarette that's.

Speaker 8 (11:18):
Made better to taste.

Speaker 17 (11:19):
Cleaner, fresher, smoother, cleaner, you best in the Lucky You
have a perfect cylinder of fine, clean tobacco, free from
those annoying loose ends that get in your mouth and
spoil the taste pressure. Of course, Luckies are fully packed
without air spaces, hot spots that burn too fast, taste hot,

(11:41):
harsh and dry, and every pack of Luckies is extra
tightly sealed to keep in Lucky's fresher.

Speaker 8 (11:48):
Taste and smoother.

Speaker 17 (11:51):
Yes, indeed, Lucky's long strands of fine, mild, good tasting
tobacco are made into a cigarette that draws freely and
smoke smoothly. So friends enjoy a better tasting cigarette, a cleaner, fresher,
smoother smoke. Be happy, Go Lucky, make your next carton

(12:11):
Lucky Strike.

Speaker 8 (12:21):
The Lucky Strike.

Speaker 15 (12:22):
Program starring Jack Benny, with Mary.

Speaker 17 (12:24):
Livingston, Rochester, Dennis Date, Bob Crosby, the Spotsman Quartete and
yours truly do. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like

(12:44):
to take you back to yesterday. About a half hour
before rehearsal time, Jack and I had gone into the
corner drug store to get a bite tweeton. There are
a lot of people in here, Dan, I hope we
can find seats.

Speaker 8 (12:56):
Yeah, every table's taken.

Speaker 17 (12:57):
Yeah, old Jack, there are two empty stools at the
end of the commer.

Speaker 16 (13:01):
You take those, don I'll wait. Oh, there's some people
getting up from that table over there. Let's sit over there. Okay,
Oh don don Look. Three people were at this table
and they ate for only thirty five cents.

Speaker 8 (13:22):
That's the tip.

Speaker 16 (13:29):
In a drug store. There must be murdering romanof Oh, well,
what are you gonna need done?

Speaker 19 (13:36):
Oh?

Speaker 15 (13:36):
I don't know. Hello, mister Benny Hollo Don hello Dannel.

Speaker 8 (13:39):
Oh so now I'm joining us, Dennis.

Speaker 16 (13:40):
Oh, thanks, by the way, kid, What did your parents
think of our opening program last Sunday?

Speaker 20 (13:44):
Oh?

Speaker 15 (13:45):
I don't know. They're still out of town, out of time. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (13:48):
When I got back here from England, there was no
one home. Just a note for my mother, I know, Yeah,
said dear Dennis, receive your letter telling us that you
are coming home. So your father and I decided to
take a short vacation get to vote in November.

Speaker 15 (14:07):
The kind mother. I don't know what's he? What are
you fellas ordering?

Speaker 8 (14:14):
Nothing? Yeah?

Speaker 15 (14:15):
Yeah? The service here is so slow.

Speaker 8 (14:17):
Man Jack had changed all their health here this summer.
That blonde over there is the new waipress.

Speaker 16 (14:21):
Oh oh the blonde. Eh, hey he's cute.

Speaker 15 (14:26):
Oh me, Nick, what do you want, Max? We'd like
to order? Okay, what do you want? Well, don't you
have a menu? It's written up on that blackboard behind
the count Well, I can't see that far with.

Speaker 21 (14:50):
Those blasses of what you can see?

Speaker 8 (14:51):
Catalina Never, I'll have a lettuce and tomato sandwich and.

Speaker 15 (15:04):
A glass of milk. How did you know?

Speaker 21 (15:08):
I can spot him every time?

Speaker 15 (15:15):
What are you gonna have, Dennis? Well, let's see, Oh miss,
do you have any ice cream? Yeah? Pustashio ice cream?
Yeah good, I'll have some chicken pot pie, all the.

Speaker 22 (15:24):
Mode you want, Dennis, Dennis, why in the world would
you order ice cream on chicken pot pie?

Speaker 15 (15:35):
I like cold chicken. Well, miss, I know what you're thinking.

Speaker 23 (15:41):
But if he wants to give it to him, okay,
Now what about you, faso, Well, I about a diet.

Speaker 17 (15:55):
I'll just have a glass of tomato juice and some
rye crisp, just rye Chris.

Speaker 8 (15:59):
About ten pounds and this we're in a hurry.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Okay.

Speaker 16 (16:04):
You know, hey, fellows, you know she may sound a
little hard, but there's something that's attractive about her.

Speaker 15 (16:10):
I don't know whether it's her blonde hair or that
blue tattooing. You know she is. She is good looking though.
If you think she's good looking, you're a dear sister.
Oh is she good looking too?

Speaker 8 (16:27):
No?

Speaker 15 (16:32):
Well then why did you whistle? Your got her is showing?
Then stop being silly. Here's your sandwich, Max.

Speaker 16 (16:40):
Look, miss miss, my name isn't Matt, it's Jack Jack Benny.

Speaker 24 (16:45):
Jack Benny.

Speaker 15 (16:46):
Yes, I'm on the radio.

Speaker 23 (16:47):
Oh, television too, you know, uh huh.

Speaker 16 (16:52):
I do my first TV show on October fifth, that's
two weeks from now.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
The world is waiting.

Speaker 16 (17:08):
Well, thank you, thank you. Now let's see fellas or
will be late for rehearsal.

Speaker 8 (17:14):
Oh, mister Bennie, would you like to hear the song
I'm gonna sing on the program Sunday in here? Sure?

Speaker 25 (17:18):
Why not?

Speaker 15 (17:19):
Dennis? This isn't a studio, this is the place of business.

Speaker 8 (17:22):
So what last night you played your violin in a
gas station on Ventura Boulevard. That's different or was there
opening fine agent, I've got I thought he was booking
me into Texas. It was Texaico.

Speaker 15 (17:35):
Anyway. I don't want you singing in a drug store.
Well if I sing now, I won't have to take
up the time, all right.

Speaker 26 (17:40):
If you want to make a spectacle of yourself, go ahead, Okay.

Speaker 27 (17:59):
The pyramid is a long watch the sunrise on a
dropic of.

Speaker 28 (18:10):
Us three member darling, all the.

Speaker 29 (18:14):
Wall, you belong to me, be the more.

Speaker 30 (18:27):
In all algy then me photographs and sousany Astremember when roby.

Speaker 8 (18:42):
You belong to me.

Speaker 31 (18:47):
I be so.

Speaker 27 (18:54):
With you, ab you'll be long? Why the old and

(19:15):
appeal play.

Speaker 30 (19:19):
See the Jungle when it went with Ray? Just remembered
to your home again.

Speaker 8 (19:31):
You belong to me.

Speaker 29 (19:37):
I be follow.

Speaker 19 (19:41):
With you.

Speaker 27 (19:46):
Maybe you'll be why many a tune for Please.

Speaker 30 (20:06):
See the Jungle when it's word with Ray.

Speaker 28 (20:11):
Just remember to your whole talk Gay, You'll be long,
You'll be.

Speaker 16 (21:01):
And I'm glad I got out of that drug store.
So embarrassing sitting there when Dennis started us sing. Oh
darn it, I left before the check came. It always

(21:23):
happens to me, I haven't had dessert in a year.

Speaker 15 (21:38):
Rout Here's CBS.

Speaker 16 (21:41):
When you say, I beg your father and then I'll
come back.

Speaker 32 (21:45):
To you almost a bunny.

Speaker 15 (21:48):
Oho, Harry, any messages?

Speaker 33 (21:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 21 (21:50):
Five?

Speaker 12 (21:51):
Crosby's looking for you.

Speaker 15 (21:52):
Oh thing?

Speaker 21 (21:53):
Hey he's your new orchestra leader.

Speaker 16 (21:55):
Any Yes, he's taking Phil Harris's place on my radio program.

Speaker 32 (21:58):
Oh yeah, Hey he's going to be on your television
show too, any Uh huh? Your first TV show was
October to fifth, ain't it? Yes, yes, that's two weeks
from now.

Speaker 15 (22:09):
The world is waiting. Let's see you later, Harry. Will
you see I beg your Yeah?

Speaker 34 (22:20):
Hello, Bob.

Speaker 8 (22:29):
The door man.

Speaker 15 (22:31):
The doorman told me you were looking for me. What
is it, Bob?

Speaker 8 (22:33):
Well, Jack, I'm kind of new on the show and
I don't like to complain, but well, I just read
the script and well, do your writers know that I'm
your new orchestra leader?

Speaker 21 (22:41):
I mean, do they know about the change?

Speaker 15 (22:43):
But what do you mean?

Speaker 8 (22:44):
Well, they got a gag in here where you say
to me, hey, when you leave the orchestra, why don't
you hold a baton in your hand?

Speaker 15 (22:49):
Uh huh?

Speaker 21 (22:50):
And I'm supposed to say what and put down by Martini.

Speaker 15 (22:59):
Well, Bob, Bob, that's a funny joke.

Speaker 8 (23:02):
Well maybe so, but that's not my character. That doesn't
fit me. I don't drink. You don't, No, Well couldn't
you star? My writers have thousands of drunk jokes.

Speaker 15 (23:31):
But anyway, Bob, I'll tell him to watch it.

Speaker 35 (23:33):
Okay, thank you, you're welcome.

Speaker 8 (23:35):
Say, by the way, Jack, I wonder, who do I
see about getting some tickets to the broadcast.

Speaker 15 (23:39):
Oh, my producer will take care of you.

Speaker 21 (23:41):
Well that's swell.

Speaker 8 (23:42):
See, I need a couple because today is my kid,
Stevie's sixth birthday.

Speaker 21 (23:45):
I promised him he could come to broadcast.

Speaker 15 (23:47):
Oh oh, Stevee's sixth birthday. Eh, I bet he's excited?

Speaker 8 (23:50):
Oh is he? You're not kidding me?

Speaker 21 (23:52):
Should have seen the presidence he got.

Speaker 8 (23:53):
Mother gave him a bicycle, Brother Larry gave him some
roller skeets, Ever gave him a football, and brother Bing
gave him a bank to save his money, a piggy
bank and all the security first National.

Speaker 16 (24:14):
God giving away up Bang. I knew, I knew Bing
was loaded, but yeah, I didn't think he had that much.

Speaker 8 (24:22):
He's comfortable, I know, as a matter of fact. This summer,
he heard that you have an underground vault where you
keep your money, so he decided to dig one in
his own backyard.

Speaker 21 (24:38):
Boy would have mess.

Speaker 15 (24:39):
Well what happened?

Speaker 8 (24:40):
He struck oil.

Speaker 15 (24:48):
Oil, No kidding, yep.

Speaker 36 (24:50):
Last night he.

Speaker 8 (24:51):
Opened the gas station on Ventura Boulevard, had a violinist
and everything.

Speaker 15 (25:05):
I'll wait a minute, Bob, I happen to know that place.
It's a Texico station.

Speaker 8 (25:10):
Well, who do you think owns Texico?

Speaker 36 (25:13):
Oh?

Speaker 15 (25:14):
Oh, oh, it's funny having a brother. What's that?

Speaker 16 (25:18):
Or it sounds like Mary. Let's go in her dressing
room and see what's so funny?

Speaker 37 (25:24):
Come man?

Speaker 3 (25:26):
Oh Bob, bye Jack?

Speaker 21 (25:27):
Hello Mary? What are you laughing at?

Speaker 3 (25:29):
I was reading this letter I just got from my mother.

Speaker 15 (25:31):
Or she gets them all the time.

Speaker 8 (25:32):
Bob.

Speaker 21 (25:33):
So your folks live in Plainfield, don't they marry?

Speaker 37 (25:36):
Yes, they have a farm there.

Speaker 15 (25:37):
Read the letter Mary.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Go ahead, okay, my darling daughter, Mary, just a short
note to tell you I am glad the summer's almost over,
as it was the hottest one we've.

Speaker 19 (25:49):
Had in years.

Speaker 15 (25:49):
It's been plenty hot here too.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Tell Jack that his first program last Sunday came on
the air just as I was going out to milse
the cows, so I took a portable radio in the
bar to listen to us. The milk must have been
transcribed too, as they didn't release it until a later hour.

Speaker 8 (26:13):
Have you had enough, Bob, No, I want to hear
some more. Go ahead, Mary, Okay.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Things have been about the same at home, except that
your cousin Sophie is visiting us, and I'm sorry to
report that she's still an old maid.

Speaker 14 (26:27):
We did introduce her to a nice.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Fellow when we thought it would work out, but he
must have been a Republican because he took one look
at her and said it's time for a change.

Speaker 15 (26:38):
Have a cousin's, sophie yours? Hands me a laugh.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Speaking of politics, we had our local primary here last
week to elect a new mayor, and your uncle Julius
lost again.

Speaker 15 (26:48):
It's the eighth time he's lost him.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
We thought he had a better chance this time because
nobody was running against him.

Speaker 15 (26:58):
How can that be?

Speaker 8 (27:00):
Rather than elect.

Speaker 15 (27:01):
Him, they abolished the author.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
How do you like that?

Speaker 31 (27:07):
Now?

Speaker 15 (27:07):
Look, kid, we better get on stage for rehearsal. Oh down,
Don Is everybody ready?

Speaker 8 (27:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 15 (27:16):
Jack, Dennis, come on, we're going to rehearse.

Speaker 17 (27:18):
Oh Jack, Jack, before we start, there's a gentleman here
has been waiting for you.

Speaker 8 (27:21):
He wants to talk to you.

Speaker 15 (27:22):
Well, Don, I'm busy. Now can't we make it?

Speaker 38 (27:24):
Only take a minute, mister Bennie.

Speaker 15 (27:27):
Well, all right, what can I do for you?

Speaker 8 (27:29):
I'm here to do a story about your personal appearance
trip in Europe this summer.

Speaker 15 (27:32):
Oh twas nothing.

Speaker 8 (27:34):
That's what I told my editor, but he sent me in.
I understand that miss Livingston was with you on this
trip too, Yes.

Speaker 16 (27:43):
And Denni's day also he appeared at me at the
Palladium Theater in London.

Speaker 15 (27:47):
Right out. Gaven that Dennis.

Speaker 21 (27:50):
Now where'd you.

Speaker 38 (27:51):
Go, mister Bennie after you left London?

Speaker 15 (27:53):
Well, after leaving London, we went to Dublin.

Speaker 38 (27:54):
Ireland, and was Dennis Day there with you?

Speaker 14 (27:56):
Sure?

Speaker 15 (27:57):
And me got it? Twas good to get me feedback
on the arts.

Speaker 36 (27:59):
Thought Jannet.

Speaker 15 (28:00):
Please.

Speaker 38 (28:02):
Now after leaving Dublin, where'd you go to Glasgow?

Speaker 21 (28:05):
Glasgow, Scotland?

Speaker 12 (28:06):
Shouldn't be got it?

Speaker 15 (28:07):
What could you get me feed back? I'm the old
thought he stayed in Ireland.

Speaker 8 (28:17):
Now, mister Bennie, there's been so much publicity about your
appearance in London. Perhaps we could get a new angle
if you told me about your trip to Scotland.

Speaker 15 (28:24):
I'll be glad to well.

Speaker 16 (28:25):
As soon as soon as we arrived in Glasgow, we
went right to the Central Hotel.

Speaker 12 (28:38):
Well, Boss, I've got everything on pats and hung.

Speaker 16 (28:40):
Up good Rochester. You know I'm glad I have a
couple of days off before I opened up a theater.

Speaker 36 (28:44):
Are you going to change your acknowledge you're in Scotland
a little?

Speaker 16 (28:48):
I'll make it more topical, you know, localize it. You
know the people in Scotland are noted for their thriftiness,
so I'll I'll probably do a lot of jokes about
being stingy.

Speaker 15 (28:57):
That's always funny, don't you think?

Speaker 20 (29:00):
Don't you don't rush me, boss, I have to praise
this big heaven.

Speaker 15 (29:07):
Well, I gotta go out pretty soon.

Speaker 16 (29:08):
I'm going shopping, okay, Boss, Do you wanna wear your
brown suit or the blue and neither one?

Speaker 15 (29:13):
I'm gonna wear kilts Kills.

Speaker 36 (29:15):
Yes, kills, what's boss?

Speaker 12 (29:16):
He'll drive you crazy?

Speaker 22 (29:18):
Why apartment books on the outside, I.

Speaker 16 (29:26):
Don't care where it is anyway, I'm gonna wear them
sometime before I leave Scotland.

Speaker 15 (29:30):
Now Rochester.

Speaker 16 (29:31):
Have you got the uh the address of the store
where miss Livingston said you'd meet me.

Speaker 12 (29:35):
Yes, boss, it's the Bonnie Heaven department store. Alright, wrote
it down on your phone. I've got it on the.

Speaker 15 (29:50):
Rochester.

Speaker 36 (29:52):
What's that good, yeman, man?

Speaker 15 (29:57):
It is not.

Speaker 8 (29:57):
Let me take a look, Rochester. Look at the whole
band and they're stopping right under my window.

Speaker 12 (30:06):
Maybe they came to welcome you in the Glasgow.

Speaker 36 (30:08):
Say, I'll bet that's it.

Speaker 18 (30:21):
He welcome Jack, Benny, Jack, Benny not drifted my brother.

Speaker 19 (30:25):
No mother can say like.

Speaker 8 (30:27):
Benny, and we love.

Speaker 39 (30:28):
You Jack Fanny.

Speaker 12 (30:29):
Your eyes are.

Speaker 18 (30:30):
So very blue that flew mynever. I'm supposed together to.

Speaker 8 (30:38):
Let they tell us a love.

Speaker 12 (30:40):
He is free on the throat and be burnt.

Speaker 34 (30:43):
That is free.

Speaker 26 (30:44):
All well, if there are some free, then it's let
me strike for me and.

Speaker 18 (30:50):
The funny funny pop on the law.

Speaker 36 (30:57):
If you know Lucky's drying, it's the smoke all.

Speaker 18 (31:00):
Like, cause the lucky is brown and I'm not made
of the fine and frank for a funny funny smuck Michael.

Speaker 9 (31:12):
No lawyer stockman anywhere.

Speaker 8 (31:13):
We're there for care and then compare he likes his
lucky were tasty Mixter wants to put bluewets and not
to not before.

Speaker 18 (31:20):
The great ever a glean a precious moan to not
the paper, not the study.

Speaker 12 (31:29):
Goodbye, just daddy.

Speaker 18 (31:30):
We hope you enjoy your state, and we'll not Renny.

Speaker 33 (31:34):
We must be on our back.

Speaker 16 (31:53):
Now, Roger, there wasn't that a nice thing for them
to do? Thank you boys, thanks very very much. You know,
Roger just Gotlander such a friendly country. Imagine sending a
band here. Answer the phone, will you please?

Speaker 20 (32:05):
Yes, sir, mister Bennie's room, start stage green radio television
and would do the heightling playing if he hadn't already
flung it.

Speaker 33 (32:15):
Rochester, Oh oh yes, mus lives and he's just ready
to leave.

Speaker 12 (32:21):
I'll tell him Forsmans lives and is waiting at the
department store.

Speaker 15 (32:25):
Say, I better get going. I want to buy some gifts. Now,
where's that? Storms slipings and said she'd meet me.

Speaker 12 (32:30):
It's on the corner of Fifth and Fairfield, near the
first the fourth.

Speaker 16 (32:36):
I better write that down Fourth and Fairfield, near the
Firth of Fifth.

Speaker 12 (32:42):
No, no, no, not forton Fairfield, it's fifth.

Speaker 15 (32:46):
Well what's on fourth?

Speaker 12 (32:47):
I don't even know who's on Firth.

Speaker 15 (32:55):
Well, I'll find it.

Speaker 20 (32:56):
Goodbye, Abbott's on the Stella, goodbye.

Speaker 16 (33:08):
Let's see the Bonnie Heather Department store should be around
here someplace.

Speaker 15 (33:12):
Maybe it's that store across the street.

Speaker 16 (33:15):
See what the sign says. No, that's Manny Moeen McGregor.
Wish I could find a cop or someone who knows
his way around. Oh oh, there's a man standing on
the corner and plaid killed some Tama shander.

Speaker 15 (33:30):
He ought to know. Oh excuse me, sir, but is
the Bonnie Heather Department store around here?

Speaker 19 (33:36):
I don't know.

Speaker 33 (33:42):
Well we are.

Speaker 36 (33:45):
We are here the first of fourth.

Speaker 15 (33:47):
Aren't we.

Speaker 19 (33:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 15 (33:51):
Well, it's this pet street, doesn't it.

Speaker 24 (33:53):
I don't know.

Speaker 15 (33:59):
You're not Why are you wearing those skiffs?

Speaker 21 (34:02):
It's ladies day at the ball game.

Speaker 15 (34:07):
Oh wow, I'll find the store.

Speaker 8 (34:13):
It ought to be a rider, got jack? Oh Murray,
I was looking for you. Where's the store right here?

Speaker 15 (34:18):
How do you like that? I was standing right next
to it. Oh, come on, let's go in. We'll actually
get something nice from my sister Florence.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Well, they have some beautiful gifts in here.

Speaker 15 (34:30):
Hey, this is a nice store.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, you ought to be able to get something very
nice in here for your sister. How much do you
want to spend?

Speaker 15 (34:38):
Oh? I ought to get her something better than that?
And say, do you think she like any of these perfume?

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Well, you can't go wrong on perfume.

Speaker 14 (34:51):
Oh here comes now?

Speaker 15 (34:52):
Oh yes, a pardon me? Are you the clerk? I?

Speaker 35 (34:55):
May I be Saturday fist year?

Speaker 36 (34:58):
Yes?

Speaker 15 (34:58):
Yes, this is quite a nice broad Britain moonlift.

Speaker 36 (35:03):
Score you've got here to me?

Speaker 19 (35:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
The heaven's sake, what's the matter In England you were
dropping your ages and here you're spraying people.

Speaker 16 (35:18):
I'm just trying to be one of the boys. Now, clerk,
I'd like to buy some perfume for my sister.

Speaker 40 (35:24):
Well would you like something sophisticated or allure them?

Speaker 33 (35:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 15 (35:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 35 (35:31):
Well how old is your sister?

Speaker 15 (35:33):
Well, she's two years younger than I am.

Speaker 35 (35:36):
Eh, and how old are you?

Speaker 15 (35:39):
Thirty nine?

Speaker 8 (35:45):
Yes?

Speaker 15 (35:45):
That one almost started his motor Larry please.

Speaker 8 (35:57):
Hey this looks This looks like a nice bottle of perfume.
It's in an unusual box too, Oh clerk? How much
is this one in American money? Eight dollars woo eight dollars.
It's not so bad. Tell you what, clerk, I'll give
you four.

Speaker 16 (36:16):
I'll take seven ninety who I'll give you four to ten.

Speaker 35 (36:24):
Seven seventy five.

Speaker 15 (36:27):
Four dollars and eighty cents. Seven ten, I'll give you five.

Speaker 35 (36:34):
Have a share?

Speaker 15 (36:43):
Thank you? Now? Where were we?

Speaker 35 (36:46):
Seven ten?

Speaker 19 (36:47):
Oh?

Speaker 16 (36:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll give you five ely tick seven
five seventy six twenty five ninety six dollars six ten
five eighty.

Speaker 18 (36:59):
Got your.

Speaker 15 (37:12):
Oh yes, I'll tell you what, clerk, let's make it
six dollars.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
Even you're a gentleman and a scholar.

Speaker 35 (37:17):
It's a deal, sir.

Speaker 15 (37:19):
Thank you.

Speaker 40 (37:19):
I'll unlock the store and let you vote.

Speaker 8 (37:31):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 17 (37:32):
Here's information of importance for every citizen. This is going
to be the biggest, the most important election in years.
If you're an eligible voter, naturally you'll be at the
polls on November fourth, but you can't vote unless you're registered.
If by any chance you don't know when, where, or
how to register, your city hall or county courthouse will
be glad to tell you don't miss the vote. Register

(37:54):
now so you can vote on election day. Remember you
have to register to vote.

Speaker 12 (38:00):
Thank you.

Speaker 17 (38:03):
That will be backing us the moment the first.

Speaker 18 (38:09):
Be happy, go Lucky, get better taste.

Speaker 17 (38:11):
Today, Friends, You'll find Luckies taste better, taste cleaner, fresher,
smoother because Lucky Strike gives you fine, mild, good tasting
tobacco in a cigarette.

Speaker 8 (38:23):
That's made better to taste better.

Speaker 17 (38:25):
Lucky's taste cleaner because Lucky's perfect cylinder, a fine, clean
tobacco is free from those annoying loose ends that get
in your mouth and spoil the taste. Lucky's taste fresher
because they're fully packed without airspaces, hot spots that burn
too fast taste hot, harsh, and dry. And every pack
of Luckies is extra tightly sealed to keep in that

(38:46):
presser taste. Lucky's taste smoother because in the Lucky you
get long strands of fine, mild, good tasting tobacco in
a cigarette that draws freely and smokes smoothly. Yes, Friends,
Lucky's taste better. It's all for your own real, deep
down smoking enjoyment. For a cleaner, friiser, smoother smoke. Be happy,

(39:07):
Go Lucky. Make your next carton Lucky Strike.

Speaker 18 (39:11):
Be happy, Go Lucky, Go Lucky Strike today.

Speaker 40 (39:20):
Here's your perfume, sir, and it's all wropped up nice
and fifty.

Speaker 35 (39:23):
Thank you, lad, I don't go yet.

Speaker 40 (39:26):
Well, you've proved yourself to be a true Scott and
I'd like to present you with these kilts.

Speaker 33 (39:31):
Kilts.

Speaker 15 (39:32):
Oh, thank you, thank you very much. Come on, Mary,
are we going back to the hotel? No, to the
ball game?

Speaker 8 (39:38):
Come on.

Speaker 17 (39:44):
And Jacky program is written by Sam parn Mills, Joseph Skirt,
George Balder, John Packerberry and produced.

Speaker 8 (39:50):
Dan transcribed by Hillary Mark.

Speaker 17 (39:52):
The Jackoney Program is brought to you by Lucky Strike,
product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of
cigarette This is the CBS Radio.

Speaker 5 (40:03):
Network seventy three years ago, September twenty first, nineteen fifty two.
Jack Benny here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Co

(40:26):
excep Next the summer replacement for Jack Benny during the
nineteen forty seven season, Jack.

Speaker 8 (40:32):
Parr, Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 41 (40:40):
In the next seven years of bigger and bigger enrollments,
America's grade schools will need nearly a quarter of a
million extra teachers, beside those to fill normal vacancies. This
great need plus, the growing public interest in education and
improvements in schools make elementary school teaching a more rewarding
career than ever, a career that high school and college

(41:01):
students should certainly consider. Education holds America's future, perhaps your future.

Speaker 5 (41:08):
We continue now on Classic Radio Theater with an episode
of The Jack Parr Show, the summer replacement for Jack
Benny during the nineteen forty seventh summer he courses you
know would later become the second real host of the
Tonight Show. It will become the Jack Parr Show overnight.

(41:29):
We'll hear this episode from seventy eight years ago today
as this is America, deeb I.

Speaker 20 (41:36):
On the Red Bull gye, yes deep your eye on
the Red bull gye. Keep your eye on Lucky Trike
l s MS Lucky Drake means fine tobacco. American fine
tobacco is what counts. And to think of that now,
that's MFP. Lucky DC means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco

(41:57):
means real deep down booking in Joynmond for you. So
keep your eye on the red bull's eye, keep your
eye on Lucky Strike, and smoke that smoker.

Speaker 8 (42:06):
Fine tobacco.

Speaker 33 (42:07):
Lucky stripe, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so
free and easy on the drawer. Ron Hollywood, Lucky Strike.

Speaker 20 (42:23):
Present the jackpar Program with Julie Irwin, the Paid Capitol Brio,
Garry Fielding and the Orchestra. You're trully high, have a
back and sorry Americash Young Humorous pack Par.

Speaker 33 (42:48):
Thank you very much. This is Jack Par. Hello, and
a special message to Gabriel Heaters. What good news. Well,
this has been quite a week and Englishman John Cobb.

Speaker 20 (43:03):
Drove his car four hundred miles an hour up in
Utah on the salt flat. I don't want to lie
on anyone, but yesterday I saw a couple of hot
rod drivers sprinkling salt on Santa Monica boulevards. The Veterans
Administration said this week that some of the houses being
built for veterans were too flimsy. Just made one builder
so mad that he stamped his foot through the floor

(43:24):
of gi house he was building and walked out through
a wall. No silent laughing out there. We're just gonna smile,
make no noise, That's all I ask.

Speaker 8 (43:37):
Let's see.

Speaker 33 (43:38):
I read in the paper where the.

Speaker 20 (43:39):
Cost of food is to grow still higher. Some families
are giving up meat because they're afraid that stake is
habit forming.

Speaker 33 (43:49):
Him.

Speaker 20 (43:49):
In Hollywood, all the drug stories are giving away three trips.

Speaker 33 (43:52):
I know a woman who want to free trips of
Hawaii all he had to do with shoveled coal. Both
ways and fashions are still in the news. I see
women who wear those new pinched in wasp.

Speaker 20 (44:06):
Wastes are receiving special awards the Order of the Purple Face.
This week a big economy, A wave was started in
motion picture business.

Speaker 33 (44:18):
Things are so bad that Warners had to let one
brother go.

Speaker 20 (44:22):
Overt MGM.

Speaker 42 (44:23):
They I'll wait for the.

Speaker 33 (44:27):
Overt MGM.

Speaker 20 (44:28):
They had to lay off Leo the Lion from now
on when MGM pictures open, Louis de Maria just comes
out and shrugs his stole it. One reason for all
this Hollywood economy is the seventy five percent packs imposed
by the British.

Speaker 39 (44:42):
On our movies.

Speaker 33 (44:43):
I have an idea that's even better.

Speaker 20 (44:44):
Than cutting down on money. Why not cut down on
movies since we get only twenty five percent of the profits,
Why not just sending you only twenty five percent of
eight picture but jets what only twenty five percent of
a movie sounds like I have a backage questions like that.
It makes radio possible if my plans go through an
English movie. Guar will sit in the arc held Piccadilly
and here The following cinema is a presentation of twentieth

(45:11):
century Monitor and Pyrol Paw in.

Speaker 33 (45:19):
Mother War type. Darling, will you be my.

Speaker 25 (45:32):
Yes? Here? You and I were made for him?

Speaker 33 (45:34):
Jennis, you've made me so fainny when movie d not today?

Speaker 25 (45:39):
But to wait take comes my Jennison?

Speaker 42 (45:43):
Oh what are what? No? No to.

Speaker 43 (45:54):
Jennis, you must be out.

Speaker 25 (45:56):
Of your should I'm madly in.

Speaker 33 (46:03):
You may be bigger than.

Speaker 20 (46:04):
But watch your You'll never get away with we will Darling?

Speaker 25 (46:08):
What's your arms around my?

Speaker 36 (46:12):
Watch out?

Speaker 34 (46:13):
He's turning concealed.

Speaker 33 (46:14):
You'll never get away with.

Speaker 34 (46:20):
Nice?

Speaker 25 (46:24):
Oh mur.

Speaker 33 (46:41):
Oh, well remember there's only fourteen more shopping days. But
Jack Senny returns. You all remember jack Enny?

Speaker 8 (46:48):
Oh Jack?

Speaker 20 (46:50):
When Benny comes back? What happens to us? I have
used the high living Dwaite hues argile thoughts every night.

Speaker 42 (46:57):
King Pong is a y.

Speaker 21 (47:00):
Jack.

Speaker 8 (47:01):
I cared to evolve that up.

Speaker 33 (47:02):
I I've got good news for you.

Speaker 20 (47:04):
Don't turn in your title yet our option has been
picked up, and weird to continue for lucky strike over
another network. You know I'm unique in radio. I have
the only contract written on the tobacco leaf. And that
man you've seen staring at the leaf is the sponsors
lawyer looking for the loopholes.

Speaker 33 (47:23):
All the big comedians are coming back.

Speaker 20 (47:25):
Eddie Tanter and Amos and Andy says McGee, and Molly's
Frost warnings everybody. I just found out a very strange
thing about Eddie Tanner. Do you know why he's always
popping his eyes? When he was a kid, he was
too poor to afford bubble gums.

Speaker 33 (47:41):
You do have to make it so unanimous. Musical shows
are coming back too high.

Speaker 20 (47:47):
My favorite is Shils County with Evelyn and her magic,
that magic who knows every time I look at it,
it disappears.

Speaker 34 (47:54):
It's taking of music.

Speaker 20 (47:55):
If you'll turn up your radio and turn down Junior,
you may be lucky enough to hear the whispery voices
of the page seven or three.

Speaker 33 (48:01):
The tree was composed of three excellent musicians. I know
their musicians because all their clothes are made that way.

Speaker 42 (48:19):
About.

Speaker 39 (48:21):
Oh my wing, I am looking you a hot misty.

Speaker 42 (49:05):
That the men.

Speaker 34 (49:12):
Face you.

Speaker 39 (49:19):
This movie I'm about see, I haven't both in your
high school? Is very nice to get teachers about love NYC.
Let's kick you never miss.

Speaker 34 (49:37):
Why when time baby about.

Speaker 43 (49:59):
That isn't ba.

Speaker 20 (50:00):
It isn't often that we have a little banquette on
this program, and tonight is no exception. And it isn't
often that we have the winner of the Atlantic City
Beauty Contest, Miss America.

Speaker 43 (50:14):
But we do have the loser.

Speaker 20 (50:20):
May I present missus Gertrude Hutch, Well, the Miss Hutch
that is Miss Hutch. Is it true that you lost
out in the Miss America Beauty Contest?

Speaker 44 (50:28):
When I be here's the judge us an honest tape magic,
Miss hutch The Atlantic City Beauty Contest has been over
for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 33 (50:42):
Now, it's taken you quite a while to get back
to California.

Speaker 25 (50:45):
I came back high post. I see it was a
pretty tough zone through Arizona.

Speaker 33 (50:56):
Yes, it is rather shallow around Tucson. But tell me
you have a touch of just where were you in
the beauty contest?

Speaker 42 (51:03):
I was right?

Speaker 33 (51:05):
Who was first? And second?

Speaker 42 (51:06):
Singing Garry?

Speaker 33 (51:09):
Oh, yes, singing Garry.

Speaker 20 (51:10):
I saw them your picture, Welcome stranger, or going my
way with kind of fillings, let's touch I understand the
title of Miss America was won by a Miss Memphis.

Speaker 25 (51:20):
Miss Memphis, Tom, I should have ted me.

Speaker 45 (51:24):
Look, here's a picture me in a bathing suit. It's
one of them new Macadam bathing suit.

Speaker 33 (51:28):
McAdam bathing suit. Yeah hot, jun, what's that sign on
you say?

Speaker 25 (51:36):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (51:37):
Yeah, slippery when wet? Uh huh, Hey, I got a
sign on the back shoo. What does it say?

Speaker 25 (51:48):
Watch out for rocks on pavements?

Speaker 33 (51:52):
How does one become a beauty contestant? Would you mind
telling you something of your background?

Speaker 25 (51:55):
Well, I'm John at the bottom.

Speaker 42 (51:57):
Of the ladder.

Speaker 33 (51:58):
Were you a fireman? No?

Speaker 25 (52:02):
I want a.

Speaker 45 (52:03):
Beauty contest as a bartender's convention. I was chosen this
Martini of nineteen forty one with an onion.

Speaker 25 (52:10):
Instead of an hour.

Speaker 33 (52:12):
The bartenders loved you.

Speaker 42 (52:14):
Huh.

Speaker 33 (52:14):
I'll bet you had some picture.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Oh boy?

Speaker 25 (52:17):
I was rushed the next duty contest.

Speaker 45 (52:20):
The next beauty contest I won was in Paris. To
see I wore a sank saving suit, conesting a free handkerchief,
two of which.

Speaker 42 (52:28):
I was wearing.

Speaker 33 (52:29):
What about the third handkerchief.

Speaker 42 (52:30):
I had a cold.

Speaker 25 (52:38):
A little later I was arrested. Why I told that?

Speaker 46 (52:41):
Was?

Speaker 33 (52:52):
I understand that a lot of you beauty contest serials
are models.

Speaker 42 (52:55):
That's true.

Speaker 45 (52:55):
Oh yeah, you know that advertisements of the Blue Platium
where I die with a fiddlers who grabbing the grail and.

Speaker 25 (53:01):
Hugging and kissing us.

Speaker 42 (53:02):
You were that girl.

Speaker 33 (53:03):
Yeah, I had to get a lawyer.

Speaker 43 (53:05):
Why so make them give.

Speaker 25 (53:06):
Me back my settles.

Speaker 33 (53:09):
Didn't you appeal to papillo ike Warrior but his wife
was watching us?

Speaker 20 (53:13):
I see, well, so much for selective bargaining, mith Puch.
I've heard that many models got out in an early age.

Speaker 45 (53:19):
Oh yeah, when I was a little dangy, my folks
took my picks to.

Speaker 25 (53:22):
Lying on a take of ice.

Speaker 33 (53:24):
Looked to me lying on a bearskin rug.

Speaker 34 (53:26):
No, a take of ice.

Speaker 25 (53:27):
I was spoiled.

Speaker 20 (53:28):
Oh well, I can't understand why you didn't win the
Miss America contest. You look pretty well thought out now, thanks.

Speaker 25 (53:39):
Yeah, but you see it was pole picks. You take
all the mother grails.

Speaker 45 (53:42):
The whole forty eight of them, it's them all together,
put them in a joss room.

Speaker 33 (53:45):
And buddy, you guess I don't know, but it sounds
like fun. Miss put.

Speaker 20 (53:50):
Before you go back to your trailer, tell me have
you ever won a big time duty contest?

Speaker 25 (53:54):
I just pray I have. Only last week in the
thriving little community of.

Speaker 45 (53:59):
Twenty nine pounds, I was elected in this taper bag
over the head of nineteen forty seven, and my strange coincidence.

Speaker 25 (54:08):
My future husband was one of the judgment.

Speaker 45 (54:10):
Not really yeah, as a matter of factors, here tonight
go yeah, mist the time, May I be translate your Jacqueline?

Speaker 34 (54:22):
Which way is Hollywood?

Speaker 14 (54:23):
And Bonne?

Speaker 33 (54:32):
Well, you're going to marry a beauty contest when mister.

Speaker 34 (54:36):
Bomb I lived in Californias the ninety sixth year of
mon and boy.

Speaker 42 (54:43):
For both of us.

Speaker 34 (54:49):
You want to see my picture, Lillian rusflel No.

Speaker 33 (54:52):
I don't think I had, No, I don't.

Speaker 34 (54:56):
And Joy please ajack them.

Speaker 45 (55:01):
They're gonna marry me.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Well.

Speaker 33 (55:03):
I appreciate very much your coming tonight and I hope
you will be very happy.

Speaker 20 (55:06):
Thank you, mister Brendam.

Speaker 47 (55:13):
After the wedding, we're going on the little trips to
night with falls. Lots of our friends are coming along.

Speaker 25 (55:18):
Why don't you join that?

Speaker 33 (55:20):
Well, that's very cold, bring something around.

Speaker 8 (55:22):
We have a ball, Thank you, and good night.

Speaker 33 (55:37):
Keep your eye on the red bull's eye.

Speaker 8 (55:40):
Yes, keep your eye on the red bull's eye. Keep
your eye.

Speaker 20 (55:44):
I'm lucky right, l U S M S T. Lucky
Fright means fine tobacco and fine tobacco is.

Speaker 8 (55:49):
What's use in the cigarette.

Speaker 20 (55:52):
Mama, i'merton Lucky Fright presents the man who knows. Mister
Bryce Leaps, independent tobacco buyer of Blackstill, Kentucky, has been
an eyewitness of the auction for years. Recently, mister Elite said,
and Austin as the auction.

Speaker 33 (56:08):
I've seen the maker of a Lucky Strike by a
right fine taste and leave the back of it makes
a top quality smoke. And that's not all or as.
Mister Leak also said, I smoke.

Speaker 42 (56:17):
Lucky myself for sixteen years and there's Lucky Strike. Smokers
say that's my kind of a cigarette, real smooth smoking.

Speaker 20 (56:25):
Keep you rye on the red bullseye, keep you rye
on Lucky Trike and remember ls NSC. Lucky Strike means
fine tobacco. Th smoke that smoker, fine tobacco. Lucky Strike
so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and
easy on the draw.

Speaker 33 (56:41):
Keep you dry on the red bullseye if you rye
on lucky strike.

Speaker 20 (56:58):
Looking outside of stakes, find Jerry Feeling standing on the
podium with only a music rack between him and the orchestra.
The music rack is the one with the soldiers. Next
we find out our love Me vocalist Trudier One. The
only thing between Trudy and the orchestra is the microphone.

Speaker 33 (57:11):
The microphone is the one with the long neck.

Speaker 48 (57:14):
Ready, Truty, just a minute, Jack, Yeah, Well, every week
for the past seventeen weeks, you've made some little joke
in my introduction.

Speaker 33 (57:21):
He didn't care for them.

Speaker 48 (57:22):
Well, Jack, just this once, I'd like to have a
nice signified introduction. Do you know the way they introduced
Hilly Pan?

Speaker 8 (57:28):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (57:28):
Certainly truity.

Speaker 42 (57:29):
Is that what you want?

Speaker 25 (57:30):
You want?

Speaker 33 (57:31):
All right, ladies and gentlemin It's my privilege to present
one of the world's finest voice Lily Pan thing lit.

Speaker 25 (57:41):
Wonderful marveler future caphone.

Speaker 34 (57:49):
It's awful header.

Speaker 25 (57:53):
What I love to see you man man I.

Speaker 34 (57:59):
Fok mama, you can't bad me? What yournam is?

Speaker 35 (58:05):
Oh?

Speaker 25 (58:06):
Wonderful move and you could care for me?

Speaker 27 (58:30):
Dy have it bolly povate guy from non by.

Speaker 25 (58:36):
Hard working over time. Oh, it's wonderful.

Speaker 34 (58:39):
It's models that you could care.

Speaker 20 (58:45):
Or how that educational feature. We bring you a da

(59:08):
pars I view of the domestic scene entitled This is
America Today, Volume one, September nineteen forty seven. I looked
at American farm and farming.

Speaker 33 (59:33):
One of America's foremost industries is agriculture. What is agriculture?

Speaker 20 (59:37):
Let's examine the word agris from the Latin aggress cults
from the Greek cultura, and courage from the Latin for rotten.
Put them together and the little translation is horz.

Speaker 12 (59:48):
You think the parks will get the paper?

Speaker 20 (59:53):
Time was when the farmer had to scratched a meager
living from the soil, fighting drought, storms, pestilence, and traveling sales.
But today the American farmer is rolling in wealth. Yet
despite all his money, the farmer still uses his faithful
old plow horse. Of course, these days the horses are
riding around on taxes and in the fields of waving grain.

(01:00:14):
You don't see any more corn silks now it's nylon.

Speaker 43 (01:00:18):
The American farmer today is completely.

Speaker 33 (01:00:20):
Mechanized, rashing machines, harvesting machines, traxes, nick Massy.

Speaker 20 (01:00:43):
But no white farmers are making so much money. We
have only to look at the side of the Chicago
Grain Exchange, where millions of bushels of wheat are bought
and sold each day. I'll take fifty thousand bustles to wait.

Speaker 33 (01:00:52):
Give me one hundred pounds. I'll buy two hundred and
fifty thousand bus.

Speaker 20 (01:00:55):
Fire thousand half five hundred thousand pole heard of.

Speaker 33 (01:01:00):
Never before I had so much week been purchased by
one private party. Pardon me, madam, why are you buying
so much wheat? My husband is crazy about dread pudding.

(01:01:22):
Now we know why the farmer is making money. Hand over,
hay Sack. Let's talk to a typical American farmer in
our studio today. Is one of the nation's wealthiest. Mister
Syrus bee hiring. Howdy, Bubby Cyrus be hiring?

Speaker 42 (01:01:34):
Uh?

Speaker 19 (01:01:35):
This is hi.

Speaker 43 (01:01:35):
I'm what's the bee for? I don't know.

Speaker 33 (01:01:37):
In the fall, Bobby, I just planet.

Speaker 35 (01:01:40):
This is him.

Speaker 33 (01:01:41):
You're really a successful gentlemen farmer.

Speaker 34 (01:01:43):
I no, you're right.

Speaker 25 (01:01:44):
This is Jack Lamont Babby, a legal gentlemen.

Speaker 20 (01:01:47):
Farmers don't have a pole atout.

Speaker 33 (01:01:48):
Wearing a tutcheetah. That's a street that you can't be serious? No,
why not my horses wearing chaos? That's the joke for
I'm cooking with ask if that's a joke, you're inhaling
it now tell us mister hire him to uh to?

(01:02:10):
What do you are your success of the farmers come
moving moving?

Speaker 25 (01:02:14):
Yep, it look plenty.

Speaker 34 (01:02:15):
Ty Houston live for fifteen years.

Speaker 42 (01:02:17):
I just couldn't raise a thing. Cried corn, but a
wooden girl cried potatoes. Stay wooden girl cried wheat rye
oats Cottonhow falthy.

Speaker 25 (01:02:25):
And justn't have a speck of luck? You just couldn't
raise one successful clubs?

Speaker 14 (01:02:29):
That's good.

Speaker 33 (01:02:30):
Where are you living do you? Ambassador hotels?

Speaker 43 (01:02:36):
I've been there.

Speaker 33 (01:02:37):
I couldn't even raise a bell boy, But how do
you have a regular fun?

Speaker 19 (01:02:41):
Oh?

Speaker 25 (01:02:42):
Your place in the stake?

Speaker 34 (01:02:43):
Bubby couldn't come from all over to see it?

Speaker 33 (01:02:45):
Had one there this morning? City fella crag time ever
seen a cow? That's unusual?

Speaker 42 (01:02:50):
What are you with?

Speaker 20 (01:02:50):
The impressed shared shifts took one look at the cow,
then card and yell him run.

Speaker 25 (01:02:55):
For your lives.

Speaker 34 (01:02:56):
He's carrying a bombulator.

Speaker 33 (01:03:08):
There's no doubt about it. The grave farming is big business,
and the American farmer's new breachless a show that farmers
are making more money this year than ever. This worries
me if their profits continue to Oh, I'm worried. There
may come a time when life on the American farm
will sound something like this.

Speaker 47 (01:03:39):
Hreacons, oh wor that new fangle butler freakons you pull medalm.

Speaker 33 (01:03:46):
There, I charge, We're gone, twirls new medals. I was
not starting to waken the roof.

Speaker 14 (01:03:51):
So.

Speaker 47 (01:03:54):
All forget a breakings. Let the poor birds fleep. He'll
soon wake up and crawls.

Speaker 33 (01:04:00):
Adam, you forget. Thomas does not crow. He had chime
time humor man, No, madam.

Speaker 20 (01:04:10):
The good humor man crows in Lurlah calls a little
hen who lays an egg every day.

Speaker 25 (01:04:18):
Yeah, all about her?

Speaker 20 (01:04:19):
Well, this morning she laid four. She wants to spend
the weekend in Las Vegas.

Speaker 25 (01:04:28):
Now he is amazing what money can do.

Speaker 20 (01:04:32):
Are other chickens are so independent? They're just laying shells
and setting them up to be filled.

Speaker 25 (01:04:38):
It's john must be a tough job for you.

Speaker 20 (01:04:41):
Oh no, madam, I'm very clever wearing trouble with the
Plymouth cross.

Speaker 33 (01:04:47):
They won't even.

Speaker 25 (01:04:48):
Lay shill what do they lay?

Speaker 33 (01:04:50):
What diamonds?

Speaker 25 (01:04:55):
About my armor this morning?

Speaker 34 (01:04:58):
Ooh that armor of Turgle.

Speaker 25 (01:05:02):
They're not the way Brincon's where's my husband?

Speaker 33 (01:05:04):
He drove off to the corn field of Adrian.

Speaker 25 (01:05:06):
Madam Adrian, the famous passing designer.

Speaker 20 (01:05:09):
Yes, Madam Adrian's giving the scarecrow a picky.

Speaker 19 (01:05:13):
Man.

Speaker 25 (01:05:13):
I hope he returns afar daughter ride. She's coming home
today from agricultural school.

Speaker 33 (01:05:18):
No, yes, mad care we give her the homecoming party.

Speaker 25 (01:05:22):
Well, my me a turn good idea of breakings?

Speaker 42 (01:05:25):
What do you think you ought to do?

Speaker 8 (01:05:26):
I have it.

Speaker 25 (01:05:27):
We'll turn the cow upside down and light the candle.
Take a breakings. Look, ain't that my husband? Are coming
up the road now?

Speaker 33 (01:05:44):
Or yes, madam mess the marstern is su footman?

Speaker 25 (01:05:47):
Oh what car is you're riding in today?

Speaker 42 (01:05:49):
No car, madam? Go foo footman.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
Oh, I'm so.

Speaker 25 (01:05:54):
Glad you're back. Darling. It's how bound little kids.

Speaker 33 (01:05:57):
Certainly give it to break it. I'll pick it up later.

Speaker 25 (01:06:01):
Well, come on, just give me a little one now.

Speaker 33 (01:06:03):
Here on the hand, darling, must you wear your charm?
Bracelet in the house. Put it you to congratulate you
on the new pig pens. Put the unusual, for each
pigs have his own tens in times like these breakings,
every pig has his own tens.

Speaker 49 (01:06:23):
Yes, sir, but the park of the swan Oh, look dear,
here's my daughter Protail.

Speaker 33 (01:06:35):
Though, well, welcome home daughter. How did you like agricultural school?

Speaker 25 (01:06:41):
It was simpler for.

Speaker 34 (01:06:47):
Darling.

Speaker 47 (01:06:48):
Darling, is wet at Aggie really a good agricultural school?

Speaker 8 (01:06:52):
Good?

Speaker 25 (01:06:52):
While murder it's another world left with fotbaks.

Speaker 33 (01:06:58):
It's going to have your home for So they'll put
on your sober five silverhalls and we'll take a look around.
That would be super pizzas to no pathon.

Speaker 25 (01:07:08):
Now that we're so rich, I suggest we don't use water.

Speaker 33 (01:07:12):
For irrebation anymore while we're using our crust.

Speaker 47 (01:07:15):
So now number five, of course, next four we'll have
the sexiest lots is on the market.

Speaker 33 (01:07:26):
Fantastic. Where did you get that idea for my old
professor Simpson?

Speaker 34 (01:07:30):
He said, in law, and.

Speaker 20 (01:07:32):
Of course blu u Us rod Oft from very coxonom
hawk for what hop has f what means.

Speaker 34 (01:07:42):
You think the potatos will get abode?

Speaker 33 (01:07:56):
So there you have his friends.

Speaker 20 (01:07:57):
Farmers are wealthy enclosing that it's find out how they
got that way. Take the case of farmer IRV. Wagner
of Dolphin County. Ten years ago, Erg Wagner was bankrupt.
Today he's worth thousands and all with a meager twenty acres.
Listen Wagner's how'd you make so much money with so little?

Speaker 33 (01:08:14):
Lamb I furgot it who are used?

Speaker 43 (01:08:16):
Carlot, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 33 (01:08:32):
Here's a message from the US Department of State. Every
American can help to alleviate the critical foodshoot in Europe
by making a voluntary financial contribution to Care. That's care Ar,
a nonprofit organization that turns your money into food and
distributed it through Europe Hungary. Give now and save a life.
Thank your contribution to Care THI Care New York.

Speaker 42 (01:08:55):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (01:09:02):
That PA will be back in just a moment. The first,
keep your.

Speaker 33 (01:09:05):
Eye on the red bull's eye. Keep your eye on
Lucky strike ls ms T. Lucky Syke means fine tobacco.

Speaker 25 (01:09:14):
No no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no
no American.

Speaker 33 (01:09:19):
Lucky Sike presents the man who knows. Mister Thomas Ray
Oglesby of Wonderville, North Carolina recently this as tobacco.

Speaker 20 (01:09:26):
Watanier said, At all the markets I've attended, I've seen
the makers and Lucky's dragged by fine.

Speaker 33 (01:09:32):
Tobacco right mile leaves.

Speaker 8 (01:09:34):
This is not the season.

Speaker 33 (01:09:35):
Experts like mister Oglesby, men who really know tobacco, can
see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently collect them. Buy
that fine, that light that naturally mild tobacco. So keep
your eye on the red bull's eye. Yes, keep your
eye on the red bull's eye. Keep your eye on
Lucky Strike, and remember l s ms T Lucky shike

(01:09:58):
means fine tobacco. Don't smoke that smoke of fine tobacco.
Lucky start so round, so firms so fully tacked, so
free and easy.

Speaker 8 (01:10:07):
On the draw.

Speaker 20 (01:10:18):
Go there next week for the Jack Bar show with
Judio and Darry Fielding in the orchestring. You're truly high,
have a bang. Jack Bar is under top rack walk
a pictures in the light of the vehicle. Baby C's
a Jack west en Year latest vehicle be seen in
the NBC parking lot. Good night, everybody, don't forget friends

(01:10:43):
for the top of the radio entertainment such a job
Web Wednesday night, but that's really huge play for drama,
the Big Story. And on Saturday night, don't make your
hit parade for doora say actual start off a Cadlan taras.

Speaker 33 (01:10:54):
I'm staring right, they're not run.

Speaker 34 (01:10:59):
That's is NBC.

Speaker 35 (01:11:00):
What a.

Speaker 5 (01:11:04):
Jack parr from seventy eight years ago. September twenty first,
nineteen forty seven, Here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox,
Jack will get picked up for an ABC show, also
sponsored by American Tobacco Company. Until Jack did what he
did so well during his career, shoot himself in the foot.

(01:11:26):
They suggested that he'd pick up some sort of ongoing, perpetual,
ongoing gag. He said he didn't want to do that
sort of Jack Benny Fred Allen old hat humor, And yeah,
they didn't quite like him talking like that about one

(01:11:46):
of his other shows, so you know, but he did
succeed in his own way in spite of himself. All right,
coming up but tomorrow on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox.
Mister Keen tracer of Lost Person from nineteen forty nine.
Barry Craig Competential Investigator from nineteen fifty three, an episode
of Romance from nineteen fifty six, The Law and Miss

(01:12:09):
Deborah and Suspense from nineteen fifty seven, Jackie Kulk starring
in Shadow on the Wall on Tuesday, Harold Perry is
the Great Guilder Sleep from nineteen forty five, Milton Burrell
in a Salute to the Auto Industry from nineteen forty seven,
Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy from nineteen forty five with

(01:12:30):
guest Anne Baxter, and Will Go to Movies with an
episode of the Screen Director's Playhouse from nineteen forty nine,
an adaptation of the nineteen forty eight movie Don't Trust
Your Husband starring Fred McMurray. On Wednesday, Let George Do
It starring Bob Bailey, The Whistler from nineteen forty five,
The Shadow starring Bill Johnstone, and dead Man Talk and

(01:12:54):
Romance from nineteen fifty five, Big Parron Virginia greg In
The Winds of June on Thursday, Peter Lourie Mystery in
the Air, an adaptation of Crime and Punishment from nineteen
forty seven. Howard Dupp as Sam Spade from nineteen forty nine,
Yours Truly Johnny Dallar from nineteen sixty and Night Watch

(01:13:15):
from nineteen fifty four. On Friday, the Lux Radio Theater
adaptation of Seven Keys to ball Plate, starring that serious
dramatic pair Jack Benny and Mary Livingston. Also on preview
of the half hour edition of Loman Abner from nineteen
forty eight and Graucho marxin You Bet Your Life Westerns

(01:13:37):
on Saturday with gun Smoke The six Shooter Have Done,
Will Travel in the Challenge of the Yukon and on
Sunday George and Gracie The Aldrich Family starring Bobby Ellis
from nineteen fifty two, Father Knows Best and Jack Parr.
That's all coming up the week ahead here on Classic
Radio Theater with Wyatcock speaking of Fathers Best, We'll head

(01:14:02):
and see what's going on in Springfield in just a moment.

Speaker 10 (01:14:10):
Instead of going down, the annual rate of polio cases
in this country is going up. Instead of growing panicky
with fear in the face of such an unwelcome fact,
there is a way in which we all can join
the army which is fighting to check this trend and
ultimately defeat infantile paralysis. We can contribute to the March
of Dimes. Give today so that the nineteen fifty two

(01:14:32):
March of Dimes will be the biggest ever and a
really potent fighting force against polios.

Speaker 5 (01:14:38):
We continue now with Classic Radio Theater with a nineteen
fifty episode of Father Knows Best, going back seventy five
years ago today September twenty first, nineteen fifty, answers the
expected question, who has the time?

Speaker 8 (01:14:54):
Mother?

Speaker 1 (01:14:55):
Is Natsville House the best coffee in the whole world?

Speaker 14 (01:14:59):
While your father's says so, and your father knows best.

Speaker 8 (01:15:12):
Yes, it's Father knows Best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert
Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last draft.

Speaker 9 (01:15:44):
When you get right.

Speaker 8 (01:15:45):
Down to it. Life today can be pretty complicated. You
can't simplify things the way Servantes dead when he wrote
There's a time for some things and a time for
all things, a time for great things and a time
for small things. If you wrote a thing like that today,
you know what they'd say. They'd say what kind of
time daylight saving your standard?

Speaker 19 (01:16:05):
See what I mean?

Speaker 8 (01:16:07):
Life has become very confusing, And in Springfield, in the
white frame house on Maple Street, the Andersons will probably
confuse it still further like this, I don't know what's
gotten into me lately. I keep yawning all the time. Yes, dear, yes,
I must be getting old, Yes, dear, Well, you don't

(01:16:30):
have to agree with me, Margaret.

Speaker 14 (01:16:35):
Oh oh, I'm sorry, dear. I guess I wasn't listening.
I was just reading. Jim, you're not going to spread
those maps all over the floor again?

Speaker 33 (01:16:44):
Why not?

Speaker 14 (01:16:45):
Because you disrupt the entire household, That's why not. And furthermore, Eh, just.

Speaker 8 (01:16:49):
A second, honey, what is it, Bud?

Speaker 19 (01:16:52):
Is it all right if I wear your blue denim shirt?

Speaker 8 (01:16:55):
No, it isn't all right.

Speaker 21 (01:16:56):
Use your own.

Speaker 8 (01:16:57):
Good gosh, what were you saying there?

Speaker 31 (01:17:02):
I was saying, why can't you listen to a news
broadcast like anyone else?

Speaker 14 (01:17:06):
You don't see other people spreading.

Speaker 8 (01:17:08):
Maps all over the floor for your information? My pet,
General Macarthy would rather be caught dead than listen to
a news broadcast without his maps.

Speaker 14 (01:17:17):
Well, if it makes you and General Macarthur' happy.

Speaker 8 (01:17:20):
By Oh, what is it, Bud?

Speaker 19 (01:17:22):
It's in the wat What it my denim shirt and
the pants too.

Speaker 8 (01:17:29):
Oh, then wear something else.

Speaker 19 (01:17:31):
But I've got the denim pants on.

Speaker 8 (01:17:33):
What denim pants your.

Speaker 34 (01:17:38):
Bud?

Speaker 14 (01:17:38):
Jim. He's going on a hay ride and I didn't
want him to wear any of his good clothes, and
I knew you wouldn't mind, Bud.

Speaker 8 (01:17:45):
Yes, Dad, take the denim shirt.

Speaker 19 (01:17:47):
Thanks Dad, you're a pile m.

Speaker 8 (01:17:51):
And Margaret, Yes, Dear, in the future, please let me
handle the trouser concession, all right, dear, So a man
can call his pantsy's own anytime. I want to wear something,
but as it are, Jim, you've.

Speaker 14 (01:18:08):
Done nothing but yawn ever since you got home. Why
don't you go to bed?

Speaker 8 (01:18:12):
I'm going to bed right after the news broadcast, and
I'd give ten bucks to be able to sleep until.

Speaker 14 (01:18:17):
Noon, well tomorrow Sunday.

Speaker 19 (01:18:19):
Why don't you golf?

Speaker 8 (01:18:20):
Eight o'clock?

Speaker 14 (01:18:21):
Oh, Jim?

Speaker 24 (01:18:23):
Hi, parents?

Speaker 1 (01:18:24):
What cooks for the doing? Don't department?

Speaker 42 (01:18:27):
The what?

Speaker 8 (01:18:28):
Never mind? Margaret, she just came in on a flying saucer.
We're not supposed to understand. Father. Don't pay any attention
to her, and she'll probably dissolve into thin air.

Speaker 14 (01:18:39):
What is it, Betty? I thought you had a date
with Dick Andrews. Oh, there's lots of time.

Speaker 1 (01:18:43):
Look which nail polish do you like best?

Speaker 8 (01:18:46):
If that isn't a weird setup.

Speaker 14 (01:18:48):
Betty, you aren't going out that way? Are you?

Speaker 1 (01:18:51):
With eight different shades of nail polish?

Speaker 33 (01:18:54):
Of course not?

Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
But which one do you like best?

Speaker 8 (01:18:57):
The one you've got on your thumbs?

Speaker 1 (01:19:00):
I don't have any on my thumbs.

Speaker 8 (01:19:01):
That's the one I like best.

Speaker 19 (01:19:06):
Mother.

Speaker 14 (01:19:06):
They all look very nice, dear, and I really think
you ought to get dressed pretty soon.

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
I was just thinking about the piece of apple pie
that was left over from dinner.

Speaker 14 (01:19:16):
Well, it's in the icebox. It won't be for.

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
Long, creeper, is it? Somebody only tell me what Shady
like best?

Speaker 8 (01:19:23):
I wouldn't have, Oh, good grief anytime I decided to
go to bed early.

Speaker 19 (01:19:27):
I'll get it.

Speaker 8 (01:19:29):
Boy, can't you learn to walk down the stairs. One
of these days the whole house is going to collapse?

Speaker 19 (01:19:39):
Did you want me den?

Speaker 8 (01:19:41):
No, just answer the door.

Speaker 19 (01:19:44):
That's what I was going to del Well, go ahead,
didn't you want something?

Speaker 8 (01:19:49):
I want you to see? Who rang the doorbell?

Speaker 19 (01:19:52):
I heard you call me and I thought you wanted something.

Speaker 8 (01:19:54):
But yes, Dad, please answer the door.

Speaker 19 (01:19:58):
You bet Dad right away.

Speaker 8 (01:20:01):
I think he lies in bed at night trying to
figure out ways to torment me.

Speaker 31 (01:20:06):
No, dear, you're just tired, and if you've had a
good night's rest, everything will seem much brighter.

Speaker 8 (01:20:11):
Well, I hope you're right, and I don't care who
it is, Margaret. I'm not going to stay up after
ten o'clock.

Speaker 14 (01:20:17):
No, dear, But we can't be rude, can we?

Speaker 8 (01:20:20):
Maybe you can't, but I can. Ten o'clock is my limit?
Ohy is it? Bud?

Speaker 46 (01:20:25):
It was Willie freehowper avoided? He ever looked funny. His
hat was way down over his ears, and he said
he couldn't help it because that was the only size
they had. But if they can't get one to fit him,
he's gonna stuff it full of newspaper and then he
thinks it'll fit better.

Speaker 8 (01:20:40):
What did he want?

Speaker 19 (01:20:42):
M Oh, he brought a telegram.

Speaker 8 (01:20:45):
Here you are, Dad, Just any time at all, we'll
be fine.

Speaker 46 (01:20:50):
He should have seen him, Mom. He had this Western
Union hat on and you could hardly see his face
and he had to hold his head way back like that.

Speaker 19 (01:20:57):
No, yes he did, Dad, he had to head way
in the back.

Speaker 8 (01:21:01):
You can't come out again, Jim.

Speaker 14 (01:21:04):
It isn't your aunt Martha.

Speaker 8 (01:21:06):
It certainly is my aunt Martha. Oh look at it
arrive Sunday, be a depot with children eight o'clock. Aunt
Martha didn't even say love, and it's only nine words.
It wouldn't have cost her anything. Jim, Just a minute, honey,
But aren't you supposed to go on a hay ride. Sure,

(01:21:28):
well go ahead, I.

Speaker 19 (01:21:30):
Don't have to leave for ten minutes.

Speaker 14 (01:21:33):
Dear your father and I have something to.

Speaker 19 (01:21:35):
Discuss, okay. I was just thinking. Remember the piece of
apple pie that was left over from dinner.

Speaker 8 (01:21:43):
Betty thought of it first. What she's in the kitchen
with it now?

Speaker 19 (01:21:47):
She had two pieces for dinner, Betty. Wait a minute.

Speaker 14 (01:21:50):
I want to talk to you, Jim. Why doesn't your
aunt Martha ever give us more notice?

Speaker 8 (01:21:55):
I don't know, honey.

Speaker 14 (01:21:57):
No, I've gotta work all night to tidy up the whole.

Speaker 8 (01:21:59):
It looks fine just the way it is.

Speaker 14 (01:22:00):
It doesn't at all. And you know how fussy she is.

Speaker 8 (01:22:03):
Sure she's afraid she might get a little dust on
one of her thousand dollar bills. Old Crab, three room
and board at the Andersons. No wonder she's rich. He
never spends anything. Jim, Kathy's coming, old Buzzard A fine sunday.
I'm going to have Kathy.

Speaker 1 (01:22:22):
Where on earth have you been in the kitchen? I
was watching Daddy make a sandwich?

Speaker 8 (01:22:27):
A sandwich? What happened to the pie?

Speaker 19 (01:22:30):
I ate it?

Speaker 8 (01:22:35):
Why aren't you in bed?

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
It isn't time.

Speaker 8 (01:22:37):
It certainly is time. It's almost nine o'clock.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
It isn't even eight o'clock.

Speaker 8 (01:22:41):
Crabby, Stop arguing with me and go to bed.

Speaker 1 (01:22:43):
But you said I could stay up until eight thirty.

Speaker 8 (01:22:46):
Well, look at the hall clock. It's almost nine.

Speaker 14 (01:22:49):
Oh no, dear, it isn't quite five minutes of eight.

Speaker 8 (01:22:52):
And besides, I guess I forgot to tell you I
turned all o' clocks back.

Speaker 14 (01:22:56):
You did, Jim, whatever on earth for?

Speaker 8 (01:23:00):
Because tomorrow is the last Sunday in September. We go
back to standard time at two o'clock. And I certainly
don't intend to get up at two o'clock in the
morning to fix a bunch of clocks.

Speaker 31 (01:23:12):
Jim, you aren't supposed to turn the clocks back. You're
supposed to turn them ahead.

Speaker 8 (01:23:17):
Margaret. The principle of daylight saving is to save daylight, right, Yes,
So you turn the clocks back in September and gain
the hour you lost in April. That's simple enough, isn't it.

Speaker 14 (01:23:35):
If you turn them back, Dear, how can you gain anything?

Speaker 8 (01:23:40):
You gain the hour you lost because you get it
over again. You have the same hour twice.

Speaker 14 (01:23:47):
You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to
go forward.

Speaker 19 (01:23:52):
Not with clocks.

Speaker 8 (01:23:53):
Don't you turn them back?

Speaker 1 (01:23:56):
Daddy?

Speaker 19 (01:23:57):
What is it?

Speaker 8 (01:23:57):
Kathy?

Speaker 1 (01:23:58):
You turn them back in April.

Speaker 8 (01:24:00):
I did not turn them back in April. I turned
them ahead, Jim.

Speaker 14 (01:24:06):
You said in April that we gained an hour of daylight.

Speaker 8 (01:24:09):
That's right, because it stayed early later. I mean it
got later early, Margaret, the sun stayed up longer. Why
because it got late later?

Speaker 14 (01:24:28):
Kathy, I think you'd better go to bed.

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
But Daddy said we lost an hour in April, and
he turned the clocks backwards. Now we ought to turn
them fatward, Kathleen.

Speaker 8 (01:24:38):
No matter what I did in April, tomorrow, we do
not turn the clocks ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
No, No, I already did, Kathy.

Speaker 14 (01:24:49):
Jim. She was only doing what she thought was right.

Speaker 8 (01:24:52):
Well, she had no business doing anything. If you don't
understand the principle of daylight saving. You don't move the
clocks around. But mommy said, mind what mommy said? You
didn't see her changing the clocks, did.

Speaker 31 (01:25:01):
You, no, Jim, Yes, I moved them ahead too. Well,
I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do. The paper
said you gained an hour.

Speaker 8 (01:25:20):
You gain an hour by turning the clocks back.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
Well, what time is it?

Speaker 35 (01:25:28):
How do I know?

Speaker 28 (01:25:28):
The way?

Speaker 8 (01:25:29):
Everybody gets the clocks all messed up? Mandy?

Speaker 19 (01:25:32):
Yet? Father?

Speaker 8 (01:25:33):
What time does it say on the kitchen clock?

Speaker 14 (01:25:35):
A quarter of four?

Speaker 8 (01:25:41):
That's a great help.

Speaker 19 (01:25:43):
What's all the fuss about that?

Speaker 22 (01:25:44):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:25:45):
Nothing, nothing at all. It's just that people shouldn't mess
around with things they don't understand.

Speaker 1 (01:25:49):
Daddy's mad because I moved the clocks ahead.

Speaker 14 (01:25:52):
It's perfectly all right, Dear.

Speaker 1 (01:25:54):
You meant well, I didn't know I was going to
get everything mixed up.

Speaker 19 (01:25:57):
You don't have to worry, Dad. Kathy didn't spoil anything.

Speaker 46 (01:26:01):
What do you mean, Well, she told me she turned
the clocks ahead, So I turned them back.

Speaker 24 (01:26:11):
God, you moron?

Speaker 1 (01:26:13):
What you didn't turn them back? You couldn't.

Speaker 19 (01:26:16):
I could not because I turned.

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
Them back too.

Speaker 36 (01:26:20):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
Well, I thought I was just making it the right time.

Speaker 14 (01:26:24):
Jim, where are you going?

Speaker 8 (01:26:25):
I'm going to find out what time it is. You've
got the clocks in this house so mixed up. We
can't tell if it's Wednesday or Friday, Daddy, Saturday. Thank
you very much.

Speaker 13 (01:26:38):
At the toll the time will be eight fifty eight
and forty seconds.

Speaker 8 (01:26:45):
There.

Speaker 33 (01:26:46):
Now we know.

Speaker 8 (01:26:46):
From now on, please leave the clocks alone.

Speaker 14 (01:26:49):
What time is it, dear?

Speaker 8 (01:26:51):
What she said? Eight fifty one minute.

Speaker 14 (01:26:53):
To nine, nine to nine?

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
Gosh, I ought to be in bed. Can night, everybody?

Speaker 8 (01:27:00):
Mother?

Speaker 46 (01:27:00):
I have it early gown.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
I've got on eight shades of nail polish. What am
I gonna do?

Speaker 19 (01:27:05):
Holy Carl, I missed the whole hay ride.

Speaker 31 (01:27:07):
Bettie stopped moaning, get dressed and gold, but my name,
I'll never notice the nail.

Speaker 23 (01:27:13):
I ruined my whole life, ruin good night everybody, the
last hay ride of the year, and I missed it.

Speaker 15 (01:27:20):
Maybe they waited for you, bod They couldn't.

Speaker 19 (01:27:22):
There was a rule, no waiting for anybody. Are you
sure sure? I'm sure I made up the rule, Daddy.

Speaker 8 (01:27:34):
You know, this whole thing is very interesting. It merely
proves what I've been telling you for years. If you
don't understand something, leave it alone. You see what happened.
Betty's late for her date, Bud miss his hay rise.

Speaker 14 (01:27:47):
And what time was your broadcast here?

Speaker 8 (01:27:49):
Eight o'clock? Oh my god, Daddy, not now, please, Cathy,
everybody be quiet, And so we bring to a close.

Speaker 21 (01:27:57):
There's a lot of news broadcasting from the world.

Speaker 8 (01:28:00):
Tune in again, Jim, Dear, uh, what was it you
wanted to say?

Speaker 21 (01:28:07):
Kathy?

Speaker 1 (01:28:08):
Good night? Everybody.

Speaker 19 (01:28:33):
Another cup of coffee?

Speaker 8 (01:28:34):
Please, It's the best I ever tasted. Tomorrow you can
hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am,
he'll be there at your table, because the world's greatest
coffee expert is your husband. Of course, we rate ourselves
pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House coffee has long
been America's favorite brand. But we know the final judge

(01:28:58):
is that man of yours, And if you pour him
a cup of Maxwell House, we're pretty certain he'll say
best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't,
we'll give you your money back.

Speaker 15 (01:29:10):
You see, we know no other.

Speaker 8 (01:29:11):
Coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee's made
like Maxwell House. Get a pound. Tomorrow, start serving your
husband the coffee with that wonderful good to the last
drop flavor. If he doesn't tell you it's his number
one choice, why you send us the can an unused portion,
and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address

(01:29:32):
is right on the front of every one of those
familiar blue tins. Put it up to the world's greatest
coffee expert. Tomorrow give him Maxwell House Coffee, always good
to the last drop on tank for the new Western.

Speaker 17 (01:30:01):
I'm a plain single rock fell mittal cown fence, mal
Madison and Klamouth junction.

Speaker 39 (01:30:05):
On tank horn.

Speaker 8 (01:30:07):
All right, Bud, let's watch where we're going. You're bumping
into everybody. Pardon me, Betty, holds your brother's eyes open.

Speaker 1 (01:30:15):
Hold them open, Daddy. You should have seen them stare
at me. Father, you'd have thought I was a freak
or something, just because my nails didn't match.

Speaker 19 (01:30:24):
Pardon me.

Speaker 8 (01:30:26):
Fine, telegram doesn't say what train she's coming on or
where she's leaving from. Just be there at eight o'clock, Daddy, I.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
Can't reach his eyes. Shall I stick him with a pin?

Speaker 8 (01:30:38):
Never mind, Kathy, skip the whole thing.

Speaker 19 (01:30:40):
Gee whiz, pardon me?

Speaker 8 (01:30:44):
All right, Bud, that's enough. Let's wake up, Bud.

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
Why don't we just prop him up against a post
and pretend we don't know him.

Speaker 8 (01:30:52):
He'll come to in a little while, Bud, Bud.

Speaker 14 (01:30:57):
Breakfast?

Speaker 8 (01:30:58):
Why all right? And I'll stay away.

Speaker 19 (01:31:03):
Somebody said breakfast.

Speaker 14 (01:31:04):
They did well? Whoever could it have been?

Speaker 19 (01:31:07):
Hey, we're at the station. How do we get down here?

Speaker 8 (01:31:13):
We'll draw you a diagram as soon as we find
Aunt Martha. What happened to the information booth?

Speaker 1 (01:31:19):
It's that the magazine stand?

Speaker 8 (01:31:21):
Where'd they move the magazine stand?

Speaker 1 (01:31:23):
Which right over there?

Speaker 19 (01:31:24):
Daddy?

Speaker 8 (01:31:24):
See stick everything into a corner. We can't see it.
Come on, Bud, this is no time to sit down.

Speaker 46 (01:31:30):
People get arrested for yelling fire when there isn't any fire.
Why should she yell breakfast when there isn't any breakfast.

Speaker 14 (01:31:38):
It was a joke, Dopey, some joke.

Speaker 24 (01:31:42):
Well it woke you up.

Speaker 46 (01:31:44):
I was waking up anywhere. You didn't have to yell breakfast.

Speaker 8 (01:31:47):
And Cornelia said, these are my jewels, my children. But
never mind.

Speaker 14 (01:31:55):
I was just mumbling, here's the information booth.

Speaker 19 (01:31:58):
Daddy.

Speaker 8 (01:31:58):
Thank you, Kathy.

Speaker 1 (01:31:59):
You're a great I am you certainly are Why is
this a next up morning?

Speaker 8 (01:32:07):
I beg your pardon. We have a wire from an
ant of mine telling us to meet her here at
eight o'clock, and we don't know exactly where she's coming from.
So could you give us any information about any train
that's supposed to arrive here anywhere in the neighborhood of
that time?

Speaker 20 (01:32:20):
Eh?

Speaker 8 (01:32:27):
I said, we have a wire from an aunt of mine.

Speaker 24 (01:32:30):
What do you mean you don't know where she's coming from?

Speaker 8 (01:32:33):
Well, my aunt was staying with my cousins in Bedford.
That's where the wire came from. And there isn't any
train in Bedford. So well, Bedford's halfway between Lancaster and
U Canaan, and there's a station in Lancaster on the
lack of one in Saint Paul and the station in
U Canaan on the Springfield and Northern Wait.

Speaker 13 (01:32:49):
A minute, this is the information desk I'm supposed to
be telling you.

Speaker 8 (01:32:59):
Well, let's not stand on ceremonies. Is there a train
from either place at eight o'clock?

Speaker 13 (01:33:05):
Which eight o'clock Eastern Central Mountain or Pacific Coast?

Speaker 8 (01:33:10):
Suppose we try Central?

Speaker 24 (01:33:16):
Nope, no train at eight o'clock.

Speaker 8 (01:33:18):
How about eastern.

Speaker 13 (01:33:23):
Oh, here we are New Canaan, eight o'clock, eleven thirty.

Speaker 8 (01:33:31):
Look, is there any train due in here at eight.

Speaker 19 (01:33:33):
O'clock AM or PM?

Speaker 8 (01:33:38):
I don't know. She just said to meet her at
eight o'clock.

Speaker 24 (01:33:41):
Well we till I get my book. I'll look it up.

Speaker 19 (01:33:44):
You do that.

Speaker 1 (01:33:46):
Father Bud's asleep again.

Speaker 8 (01:33:49):
Let him sleep. One of us might as well be
having a good time. Where's Kathy?

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
I don't know, Kathy.

Speaker 8 (01:33:55):
All you have to do is leave her alone for
ten seconds.

Speaker 1 (01:33:58):
Kathy, she was standing right next to me a minute ago.

Speaker 8 (01:34:01):
We'll see if you can find her before she breaks
one of the locomotives.

Speaker 19 (01:34:05):
But but we've lost Kathy.

Speaker 8 (01:34:09):
Good.

Speaker 1 (01:34:14):
But do you want me to say it again?

Speaker 8 (01:34:17):
No, just go find your sister, Okay, Kathy?

Speaker 42 (01:34:22):
Attention breathe.

Speaker 8 (01:34:23):
This is your last call for the new Westerner leading
on track fall for playing Field Frock Film, Middletown, Nsville,
Madison and Climouth Junction. The dining tire is forward and
is now open for breakfast. But we can't find Kathy.

Speaker 19 (01:34:45):
Somebody said breakfast.

Speaker 8 (01:34:48):
We'll all have breakfast in a few minutes. Why don't
you go look for Kathy?

Speaker 19 (01:34:51):
Where'd she go.

Speaker 8 (01:34:53):
We don't know where she went.

Speaker 46 (01:34:55):
Just look for holy call wake you up in the
middle of the night, and then you can't even and
have your breakfast.

Speaker 13 (01:35:02):
When I got all the information for you on that
eight o' cock tree, Fine, there isn't any.

Speaker 19 (01:35:11):
But there must be.

Speaker 8 (01:35:12):
She said to meet her at eight o'clock.

Speaker 24 (01:35:14):
We got one at seven forty five.

Speaker 8 (01:35:16):
Well that's close enough. Which one is it?

Speaker 33 (01:35:18):
It?

Speaker 24 (01:35:18):
Don't run on Sunday.

Speaker 8 (01:35:22):
I have a telegram right here in my pocket. I'll
show it to you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:25):
Will you calling me?

Speaker 15 (01:35:26):
Daddy?

Speaker 8 (01:35:27):
Where have you been?

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
I was looking at the comics?

Speaker 8 (01:35:30):
But where are they from?

Speaker 1 (01:35:32):
The magazine? Stand?

Speaker 47 (01:35:34):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:35:34):
Those comics? What happened to Benning Bud?

Speaker 33 (01:35:38):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:35:39):
Did they get lost?

Speaker 8 (01:35:40):
They're looking for you, but I'm here, see that you
stay here? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we're a little
confused this morning.

Speaker 13 (01:35:50):
You're a little confused. People come up and they don't
know where they're going. I'm sorry, eight o'clock, seven o'clock
Eastern Central.

Speaker 24 (01:35:57):
How am I supposed to figure it out?

Speaker 19 (01:35:59):
Some of them?

Speaker 24 (01:36:00):
I don't even know where the people are coming from.

Speaker 8 (01:36:06):
That's me.

Speaker 24 (01:36:08):
Oh well, now, what are we supposed to do?

Speaker 8 (01:36:13):
Shall we dance? All right, Betty? I found her.

Speaker 1 (01:36:20):
I wasn't lost. Oh, father, the most horrible thing just happened.

Speaker 8 (01:36:24):
You found Aunt Martha.

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
I got a run in my stocking.

Speaker 14 (01:36:28):
I can't walk around here like this.

Speaker 19 (01:36:30):
Look at it?

Speaker 8 (01:36:31):
What is it?

Speaker 35 (01:36:32):
Bud?

Speaker 46 (01:36:32):
There's a big cafeteria over at the other end, and
you can get all kinds of later but later for
only eighty five cents.

Speaker 19 (01:36:39):
You can get eggs and cereal and milk.

Speaker 8 (01:36:41):
I said, later and everything. Look, miss I want you
to read the telegram for yourself. Arrive Sunday be a
depot with children at eight o'clock. Now what could be
clearer than that?

Speaker 19 (01:36:52):
What deepo?

Speaker 8 (01:36:54):
This deepo? How many depots are there in Springfield?

Speaker 24 (01:36:58):
Chain deeple freight bus deepo?

Speaker 19 (01:37:01):
Busteople?

Speaker 1 (01:37:02):
Oh no, is something wrong there?

Speaker 8 (01:37:04):
She probably came in on a bus. Is there a
bus from bed for to eight o'clock?

Speaker 19 (01:37:08):
Mister?

Speaker 24 (01:37:10):
I got enough trouble keeping track of the train.

Speaker 8 (01:37:17):
Betty, what time is it?

Speaker 24 (01:37:18):
Eight fifteen?

Speaker 8 (01:37:19):
All the poor things, she's probably sitting in the bus
depot worrying about us. We better get right over there.

Speaker 13 (01:37:24):
Oh hey, wait a minute, there's a seven o'clock train
from lu Canaan. Maybe that's the one she meant.

Speaker 8 (01:37:30):
She said, eight o'clock.

Speaker 24 (01:37:31):
It never gets in Italy.

Speaker 8 (01:37:34):
Well where is it?

Speaker 24 (01:37:35):
He will be in until nine?

Speaker 42 (01:37:39):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:37:39):
My aching back? Now, what do we do?

Speaker 19 (01:37:42):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:37:42):
Why don't we split up?

Speaker 16 (01:37:43):
Father?

Speaker 1 (01:37:44):
You go to the bus depot and we'll stay here.

Speaker 8 (01:37:46):
All right?

Speaker 19 (01:37:47):
Why don't I go home?

Speaker 8 (01:37:50):
You're going to stay here and meet aunt Martha, all
of you.

Speaker 19 (01:37:53):
But maybe she got tired of waiting and took a cab.

Speaker 8 (01:37:55):
That's got nothing to do with it. I'm going to
the bus depot and you're going to stay here.

Speaker 46 (01:37:59):
Father.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
What if she did take a cab with her own money?

Speaker 8 (01:38:03):
Don't be ridiculous, And I don't want any trouble with you.

Speaker 1 (01:38:07):
I didn't do anything.

Speaker 19 (01:38:10):
I was just thinking me too.

Speaker 1 (01:38:12):
Why don't you call mommy and tell her what happened?

Speaker 35 (01:38:15):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:38:16):
And then if aunt Martha call, she can tell her
not to worry.

Speaker 8 (01:38:20):
Say, that's a very good idea. Thank you, Kathy, you're welcome. Well,
we'll call your mother and get her straightened out, and
then i'll take off of the bus depot.

Speaker 1 (01:38:33):
The phone's right here, Daddy.

Speaker 8 (01:38:34):
Thank you, Kathy. I don't know what I'd have done
without you.

Speaker 4 (01:38:38):
Today.

Speaker 8 (01:38:40):
Father, What is it? Daddy?

Speaker 1 (01:38:42):
Do we all have to stay here? I mean, couldn't
you take Kathy with you?

Speaker 8 (01:38:46):
I'll be glad to take her with me. She's a
joy and a pleasure compared with some of my numbskulled children.

Speaker 19 (01:38:51):
What did we do?

Speaker 8 (01:38:53):
Hell, Margaret, this is Jim.

Speaker 14 (01:38:55):
Oh, Jim, I've been trying to reach you all over time.

Speaker 8 (01:38:57):
Honey. If Aunt Martha calls, tell her I'm on my
way over to the bus depot and I'm leaving the
kids at the station in case she's on the seven
o'clock train. No matter what she says, tell her she's
not to worry. Jim, Margaret, I haven't got time to talk, Jim.

Speaker 24 (01:39:09):
Will you please listen to me?

Speaker 8 (01:39:11):
Yes, dear, what is it?

Speaker 14 (01:39:13):
Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha.
She isn't coming.

Speaker 19 (01:39:19):
Oh No.

Speaker 8 (01:39:44):
Every time you buy coffee, you certainly want to get
the most for your money, the most in flavor, the
most truly good cups of coffee from every pound. And
you can get some real help finding that from the
world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, just serve up a
cup of maxwell house to that husband of yours. He's
the number one expert. And when you hear him say

(01:40:06):
that's the coffee for me, you'll know Maxwell House is
the coffee for you too, your coffee by bring home
a familiar blue Maxwell House ten tomorrow. See how much
your coffee expert husband enjoys every cupful, And count how
many truly good cups of coffee you get in that
one pound. We're mighty sure you'll find it's Maxwell House

(01:40:30):
coffee that gives you the most for your money, because
it's always good to the last drop. It's an ill
wind that blows no good, and civilization goes forward on
a succession of disasters, such as those which constantly befall

(01:40:51):
the Andersons take, will take the sad events of the
past weekend. They had their effect on the progress of
man in a great many ways.

Speaker 46 (01:40:59):
For example, in the arts, I'm a success, mother, I'm
a success.

Speaker 1 (01:41:05):
Oh, I'm the biggest thing in Springfield since Harry Carnegie.

Speaker 14 (01:41:09):
Lady, will you please stand still?

Speaker 1 (01:41:11):
Do you know what happened in school today?

Speaker 7 (01:41:14):
Every girl on the campus was wearing eight shades of
nail polish.

Speaker 8 (01:41:18):
Oh, the sciences.

Speaker 46 (01:41:22):
Did you know that the roofs toxicadendron amidst a gluk
acide that causes violent itching even after it's all dried up.

Speaker 19 (01:41:29):
Roost what boyson, Ivy, what about it?

Speaker 46 (01:41:33):
It was mixed up with a hay and everybody who
went on the ride is sick in bed.

Speaker 4 (01:41:38):
And general education.

Speaker 1 (01:41:42):
I was the only one in the whole class who
knew about daylight saving.

Speaker 8 (01:41:46):
That's fine to you.

Speaker 1 (01:41:47):
And next April when the clocks go back.

Speaker 8 (01:41:49):
Kathy, they don't go back in April, they go ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:41:55):
Oh I know, I mean when they go back on
daylight saving.

Speaker 8 (01:41:58):
What about it?

Speaker 1 (01:41:59):
Well, I'll just know why.

Speaker 8 (01:42:01):
That's all good, Jim.

Speaker 31 (01:42:04):
Yes, Margaret, I understand all about the clocks and why
you turn them back. Yes, but I certainly think someone
ought to tell the newspapers what well. They're the ones
who get everybody confused. If they just said we lose
an hour, then naturally we turn the clocks back, But.

Speaker 8 (01:42:20):
We don't lose an hour. We gain an hour. If
you turn the clock's back, Margaret, you get the hour
over again. That's why they say you gain an hour.
If it's eight o'clock and you turn your watch back
to seven o'clock, then you've got sixty whole minutes to
live over again. If you turn them ahead, you skip

(01:42:41):
an hour and you lose it. That's why the newspapers say.

Speaker 19 (01:43:03):
Life is swell when you keep well.

Speaker 8 (01:43:05):
And what better way to help keep well than with
Post forty Percent brand flakes America's favorite brand flakes. Post
Bran Flakes provide brand to help prevent irregularity due to
lack of bulk in the diet, plus important vitamins and minerals,
and you'll love the delicious flavor of Post brand flakes.
Serve them for breakfast tomorrow. Remember life is swell when

(01:43:30):
you keep well. Try Post forty percent brand flakes. Join
us again next week when we'll be back with Father
Knows Best starring Robert young Is, Jim Anderson, with Roy
Bargee and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Forman.

(01:43:51):
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee,
always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was
transcribed in Hollywood and written by d Jake. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of

(01:44:11):
these stations.

Speaker 5 (01:44:24):
Isn't It Nice? To know that they even got confused
on daylight saving time to seventy five years ago September
twenty first, nineteen fifty Father Knows Best. On Classic Radio
Theater with Wyatt Cocks, Dorothy Lamore will be front and
center next.

Speaker 8 (01:44:47):
You can help children, old folks, the sick and the ages.
You can help destroy juvenile delinquency. You can make your
town a healthier place in which to live. You can
do all this with just one gift, a contribution to
your community chests. Four out of ten families and community
chest areas benefit directly from the services you help to support.
The other families benefit indirectly by better community living conditions.

(01:45:11):
So make your town a better place to live. Give
generously to your community chest.

Speaker 5 (01:45:16):
Classic Radio Theater with Wyafcoux continues with Dorothy Lamore taking
center stage Front and Center with her guest Samos and Andy.
This episode from seventy eight years ago September twenty first,
nineteen forty seven.

Speaker 9 (01:45:41):
From Hollywood Front and Center.

Speaker 8 (01:45:51):
The United States Army and Air Force, in cooperation of
the National Broadcasting Company presents Front and.

Speaker 17 (01:45:56):
Centers, starring your Mistress of Ceremonies, doroth Ley Lamore.

Speaker 37 (01:46:09):
Dorothy Dorothy Lamore reporting, Hello, everybody.

Speaker 50 (01:46:21):
Coming up front and Senate tonight are Henry Russell and
the Orchestra, the Crew Chiefs Quartet, and our special guests
Amos and Andy and Brian don Levy.

Speaker 51 (01:46:29):
But first, let's put out the welcome matt in front
of my little grass shack.

Speaker 8 (01:46:33):
Oh.

Speaker 51 (01:46:41):
I want to go back to my little grass shack in.

Speaker 37 (01:46:44):
Kielka Koa, Hawaii.

Speaker 52 (01:46:49):
I want to be with all the connies and beinis
that I knew long ago.

Speaker 53 (01:46:57):
I can hear the old guitars of play on the
beach jehu.

Speaker 51 (01:47:03):
Oh no no, I can hear the old Hawaii in
sailing kom my inokoho ika hovelka.

Speaker 53 (01:47:12):
How it won't be long till my ship will be
sailing back to Kona.

Speaker 27 (01:47:21):
A fair side I never hope to see.

Speaker 37 (01:47:29):
I'm just a little Hawaiian and I miss my island boy.

Speaker 51 (01:47:33):
I want to go back to my fishing boy.

Speaker 53 (01:47:36):
I want to go back to my little brass shack
in Kielakakua Haa, where the hookua.

Speaker 52 (01:47:48):
A goo swimming by, where the woukuapua i go swimming by.

Speaker 30 (01:48:01):
Just a little Hawaiian and a homesick boy, and I'm
to get back to my fishon.

Speaker 53 (01:48:08):
For I want to go back to my little dress
shafts in Kiel Kakula Lava.

Speaker 52 (01:48:16):
Where the wool goo swimming bar, where the woo.

Speaker 1 (01:48:28):
Go swimming.

Speaker 54 (01:48:29):
Bye, thank you, And now for our first guests, we
have an extra special treat for you.

Speaker 50 (01:48:48):
It's Peoria's and Richmond's two most distinguished sons, Amos and
Andy boys front and Senator.

Speaker 4 (01:49:02):
Amos and Andy reported them.

Speaker 51 (01:49:15):
Last week, Andy Brown drove his car through a red
light and was given a traffic citation. The judge instructed
him to return in five days with a new driver's
license marked eyeglasses required. At the moment, the Kingfish is
in his office at the Lodge Hall, as Amos enters.

Speaker 9 (01:49:33):
Well, come on in, Ama, say a kingsfiech.

Speaker 55 (01:49:35):
I just been cleaning up the checkroom closet here at
the large hall and hears all the junk I found
left over by the members. Hmm, let me see the
stuff hell umbrella, one rubber for the left foot, the
hair red warden's helmet, and five pair of eyeglasses.

Speaker 9 (01:49:48):
Or say about themn eyeglasses.

Speaker 55 (01:49:50):
I just remember that the judge said that Andy need
a pair for driving, you know, he gonna take a
driver's test, and he gotta have it stamped on his license.

Speaker 9 (01:49:57):
You might give him a pair of Kingfish. Yeah, well, i'll.

Speaker 12 (01:50:01):
See you later.

Speaker 9 (01:50:01):
So long, oh j Emma. Mmm, he must give me
an idea there and the knees Eyeglasser. I could use
a few bucks.

Speaker 4 (01:50:10):
And I got an eye chart right there on the
wall too, alright, King Fish, Well hold on here, brother,
and just noticing what a beautiful day it is. Yeah,
it's such a nice day. Might take my wife Sapphire
to the movie. This alf news? Think God, look out
the window with my normal vision, see what's playing at
the Lincoln Theater down the street?

Speaker 19 (01:50:25):
There?

Speaker 4 (01:50:26):
What you mean to look out the window? Wait a minute,
The Lincoln Theater is six blocks away from me.

Speaker 19 (01:50:31):
Mmm.

Speaker 9 (01:50:31):
They glad?

Speaker 4 (01:50:32):
I look, they got a good picture playing there, Bob Hope,
Darthur the morning big broth being the road the hydrophobia. Yeah,
wait a minute, how can you read that sign from here?
King Fish, I can hardly see the theater.

Speaker 9 (01:50:46):
Or just normal vision. And they look at them ants
on that telephone poost across.

Speaker 4 (01:50:49):
The streets, will you Well, I don't see nothing.

Speaker 9 (01:50:52):
Sure, there's three.

Speaker 4 (01:50:53):
Ants walking around the middle of that pool there. One
of them got a crumb of bread in his mouth.

Speaker 8 (01:51:01):
Hole wheat.

Speaker 4 (01:51:07):
Wat. Yeah, I can't see nothing. I guess that judge
is right, making me get glassed.

Speaker 9 (01:51:12):
Oh, absolute landing. You see what eyes think yours?

Speaker 55 (01:51:14):
The muscles of the mewrine titans up and presses on
the bellow donned, makes your tear ducks all over the whack.

Speaker 4 (01:51:20):
Well, you know, sometimes I do see a couple of
spots going in front of my eye.

Speaker 9 (01:51:24):
Well, that's them tear ducks swimming by. That that's what listen, kingfish.

Speaker 4 (01:51:29):
How come you know so much about all this stuff?

Speaker 9 (01:51:31):
Well then I didn't tell you before. In fact, I
didn't tell nobody.

Speaker 55 (01:51:34):
But I've been taking a night corresponding school course, notptometrus.

Speaker 9 (01:51:37):
That's what I've been doing, is yeah, granny lady.

Speaker 55 (01:51:39):
Yesterday and I happened to announce that I was now
a full fledge optatrician.

Speaker 9 (01:51:43):
That's what I.

Speaker 4 (01:51:46):
Well, I guess I ought to see somebody, but my
eyes all right.

Speaker 9 (01:51:49):
Oh, I flooded up to my neck with appointments and it.

Speaker 4 (01:51:51):
But you were such a tear friend of mine that
I might be able to squeeze you in about four
thirty this afternoon. Well I could be here at four o'clock.

Speaker 9 (01:51:59):
Well I got to operate three thirty, but I could
hurry it up.

Speaker 4 (01:52:01):
No, no, no, Kiefers, I don't want you to hurry up.
No operation.

Speaker 55 (01:52:06):
Ohin't nothing reportant, not just taking the cadillac off a
man's eyes.

Speaker 12 (01:52:12):
Tell her what to do.

Speaker 9 (01:52:13):
Sit down and we'll start this examination now.

Speaker 42 (01:52:16):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:52:17):
Now, and I got a large chart there on the
wall here. Uh, put your hand over one eye. Now,
what's the letter the chopper chart, that's a E. Now
take your hand down, cover up the other eye. What
you see the still see it?

Speaker 8 (01:52:30):
Huh?

Speaker 9 (01:52:32):
Now cover up both eyes?

Speaker 15 (01:52:34):
Right?

Speaker 9 (01:52:35):
What you see?

Speaker 4 (01:52:36):
I can't see nothing.

Speaker 9 (01:52:36):
That's what I've read.

Speaker 8 (01:52:39):
Uh.

Speaker 9 (01:52:39):
You got stigma vision of the optical organs.

Speaker 4 (01:52:41):
And now for the next test here, oh here, take
this newspaper here all right, now put it right up
to your face.

Speaker 9 (01:52:48):
No, close up. Now have the newspaper touch your nose.
That's it. Now tell me and that dude, the print
look blurred?

Speaker 8 (01:52:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (01:52:56):
Is it blurred? Clear?

Speaker 4 (01:52:57):
Blood blurred? Blood blurred?

Speaker 9 (01:53:00):
Now you got it double an, then you got it double.

Speaker 4 (01:53:03):
Now Now take this hand mirror here, hold it up
in front of it turn you back to the chart there.
Now look in the hand urrher and read over your shoulder.

Speaker 55 (01:53:10):
There, and can you read the chart? But the whole
thing looks backwards. Mor the print looks backwards to you. Huh,
this is one thing I was afraid of.

Speaker 4 (01:53:18):
What doing mean?

Speaker 9 (01:53:19):
Your wye balls is in the wrong sockets.

Speaker 4 (01:53:26):
I showers messed up? And uh, well what kind of
glasses do I need?

Speaker 55 (01:53:30):
Well, according to the chart, you need tortoiseshell glasses in
and here we is last pair of tortoshell glasses right here.

Speaker 4 (01:53:38):
Good value to look at the glass and there at
least a quarter of an inch stick, tell it.

Speaker 9 (01:53:43):
Slip them on?

Speaker 4 (01:53:44):
Okay, all right, Now look over the wall there and
see the chart. All right, I can't even see the wall.

Speaker 43 (01:53:50):
I can't see.

Speaker 20 (01:53:52):
Well.

Speaker 9 (01:53:52):
Now tell you what.

Speaker 4 (01:53:54):
We'll put another pair on right over the ones you
got on. Now whole still Now what you see? I
still see nothing?

Speaker 55 (01:54:02):
Well, there's there nothing that you see in the clay
with the second pair a little not much good. Now,
Now leave those two pair on and we'll put the
third pair.

Speaker 4 (01:54:11):
Over those two. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 9 (01:54:15):
With eyes as bad as yours.

Speaker 4 (01:54:17):
You ought to have a bigger nose.

Speaker 8 (01:54:20):
I have mine.

Speaker 4 (01:54:21):
Now, that's okay. They'll stay there.

Speaker 19 (01:54:25):
Now.

Speaker 9 (01:54:26):
Is that pair any better? No, they is worse.

Speaker 4 (01:54:29):
I can't even see the other two pair with these glasses.

Speaker 12 (01:54:33):
Anyway.

Speaker 4 (01:54:34):
Listen, WHI is I gotta have three pair of glasses on?

Speaker 8 (01:54:36):
Well?

Speaker 55 (01:54:36):
Did I give you a triple by focaloc Yeah, one
focus for looking at flowers, one focus for looking at
landscapes and other things, and then one focal for looking
at traffic license things like that.

Speaker 4 (01:54:48):
Yeah, but what if I want to look at everything
at the same time, then you.

Speaker 9 (01:54:51):
Just take your glasses off.

Speaker 55 (01:54:53):
That's what they got my brother and it take the
second pair you try it on. I'll let you have
them for eight bucks scores. One of the lenses is listen, No, I.

Speaker 4 (01:55:03):
Wait a minute, I don't want to know pair of
glasses with a lens missing.

Speaker 9 (01:55:06):
Well, it'll be easy on that eye end.

Speaker 8 (01:55:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:55:11):
Well, I'll tell you I like this pair right here,
only I can't see nothing with them.

Speaker 9 (01:55:15):
Oh, you'll get used to that, and yeah, maybe you're right.

Speaker 4 (01:55:18):
I'll only need them anyway to laughter I pass my
driver's test.

Speaker 55 (01:55:22):
Yeah, you get in a bargain, then they'll wear them
three four months down if you don't like them.

Speaker 4 (01:55:25):
Carry them in your pocket. Okay, here's the money.

Speaker 9 (01:55:28):
Yeah, now keep them on now and get used to them.
That's very important. Don't take them off for nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:55:32):
Yeah, I'll keep them on from now on. I'll try
to get used to these glasses. Oh look good on
you too, and there. Yeah, well I'll get going. Where's
the door, Kingfish?

Speaker 9 (01:55:44):
A little more to the right and a little more
now straight ahead?

Speaker 4 (01:55:48):
Yeah, thanks, sang, Oh not at all.

Speaker 8 (01:55:50):
Well so long.

Speaker 35 (01:55:52):
Now let me see here.

Speaker 9 (01:55:53):
Who's in the next patient? Hey, Kingfish?

Speaker 4 (01:55:55):
Who at and built this step in front of the
door here?

Speaker 9 (01:55:59):
And what you doing up on that chair there?

Speaker 4 (01:56:01):
Get off that thing, hi fellas?

Speaker 9 (01:56:11):
Yeah, well you been taking the driver's test, ain't hender?

Speaker 8 (01:56:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (01:56:15):
How'd you come out?

Speaker 4 (01:56:15):
And well? When the man brought me out on the
street for the eye test, I had done just what
you told me to do this morning, King Fin. I
made him believe I could see a signed five blocks
away on a theater where, just like you said, the
man was so impressed he skipped the eye test, took
me right out to the car. Oh great, andy, then
you pass, huh nor I failed? But then glasses on

(01:56:35):
and made one little slipper, Oh what was that? I
got in the back seat of the car by a
mistake and started yelling at somebody done stole the steering
with you?

Speaker 37 (01:56:58):
Thank you, ain't mister Andy.

Speaker 50 (01:57:00):
We'll all be on hand Tuesday evening, September thirtieth to
catch you on your first RINSO program of the season.

Speaker 5 (01:57:06):
And an excerpt of Front and Center starring Dorothy Lamour
from seventy eight years ago September twenty first, nineteen forty
seven here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyabcock's visitor webpage
at Classicradio Dot Stream. Coming up next, Loman Abner.

Speaker 11 (01:57:30):
Did you know that for only ten dollars you can
supplement the food rations of a family of four for
a whole month? Just send that ten dollars to Care
spelled cre New York. Care guarantees delivery of its packages
to eleven different countries in Europe, as well as to India, Israel,
and Japan. Don't forget to include your name and address

(01:57:51):
and the name and address of the family you want
to receive the care package, because Care is a person
to person international goodwill serve.

Speaker 5 (01:58:01):
And we wrap it up with an episode of Lama Abner.
We go back eighty three years. September twenty first, nineteen
forty two, it seems that Abner and said Drake have
found something of extreme interest to the boys.

Speaker 2 (01:58:18):
The makers of Alka Seltzer bring you, Lomon Abner say,

(01:59:09):
how about it? Friend, has the changeable fault. Whether we've
been having recently, it caused you or some member of
your family to catch cold. Well, if you have a cold,
now remember this. It's really surprising how quickly and how
pleasantly Alka Selzer can ease that dull ache all over
feeling of a cold. What's more, if a raw, raspy,
sore throats are part of your coal distress, you'll welcome

(01:59:30):
the soothing relief Alka Seltzer offers. It's a gargle too,
remember this, won't you, And whenever it's your misfortune to
catch cold, take care of yourself, get plenty of rasp
eat wisely, dress sensibly, stay out of draft, and for
comforting relief in much of your distress, take Alka Selzer.
And you can get Alka Selser at all drug stores

(01:59:50):
in thirty and sixty cent sized packages. Now, let's see
what's going on down in Pine Ridge. Well, the Pine
Ridge Grammar School has finally hired a teacher, one Marion Sloan,
And today we find that l Edwards, president of the
school Board, accompanied by Messrs Abner, Peabody and Cedric we Hunt,

(02:00:13):
going to the County Seat to meet the new teacher.
As we look in on the railroad station at the
County Seat, we see Abner and Cedric standing your a
wighing machine. Lomb, who has been talking to the ticket agent,
is approaching them.

Speaker 8 (02:00:28):
I see, huh, train will be here pretty soon.

Speaker 2 (02:00:31):
The ticket agent says it's run the head of schedule today,
A head of schedule. Yeah, yeah, he says, it's just
five or ten minutes late. Oh, now, don't forget what
I want you fellas to do when Miss Sloan gets here. Huh, Cedric,
you act like you're my chofur and Abner you be
the fella at handles or a bage.

Speaker 42 (02:00:47):
Well, now, Lom, I don't wanna toe damn heavy Belise.

Speaker 8 (02:00:51):
Abner, you promised you'd do that if I'd let you
come along. All right, how do I look?

Speaker 42 (02:00:57):
Ah?

Speaker 8 (02:00:58):
Do I look all right?

Speaker 19 (02:00:59):
Well?

Speaker 42 (02:00:59):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (02:01:00):
Oh you look Alan whatt No matter? Don't you feel good?
Of course I feel good. It's just that I want
to look my er. Never mind you you wouldn't understand
such things. Part thing nothing.

Speaker 8 (02:01:11):
Granny so wished to train her up and get you
here auburn hair, hot dog. H say, mister Avenue, you
got a penny? I want to weigh myself on that machine.

Speaker 42 (02:01:22):
A penny. Now, don't waste your money, Sedric. You can
weigh yourself for nothing. We get back to pine Ridge.
Use them skills we got back there, and a feed
room won't charge.

Speaker 8 (02:01:32):
Your sent first, Yes, marm, but this here tells your
fortune too.

Speaker 42 (02:01:36):
Tells your fort Yes, ma'am. Hit bus dog is I
believe I'll try that myself and see. I believe I've
got an two here something.

Speaker 2 (02:01:44):
Now, I don't go believe in that fortune telling nonsense.
Well this ain't nonsense, mister Lummit's it's all true stuff.

Speaker 8 (02:01:51):
I've done it before.

Speaker 42 (02:01:53):
Here here you are, Sedric. Now what do you do?

Speaker 8 (02:01:56):
Well? I just stand on here and drop the penny
in this little store?

Speaker 42 (02:01:59):
Huh?

Speaker 8 (02:02:00):
Sword of like playing a pinball machine?

Speaker 42 (02:02:02):
Well, you ought to be good at tack team sabdery
Here comes there?

Speaker 8 (02:02:08):
What come the fortunee? It trode on this little card
that dropped down here.

Speaker 42 (02:02:13):
Well, I do know, don't get somebody must have did
some moreful fast writing in there. You know what I'll
say that firm one hundred.

Speaker 8 (02:02:21):
And ninety two pounds. Well, here's my fortune. You possess
tremendous energy and keen insight. H you will soon be
promoted to a high position.

Speaker 42 (02:02:34):
Are the lamb good for me? Do you hear that lung?
Sabdery is going to get a high position?

Speaker 8 (02:02:40):
Yeah? I heard it. She can't believe none of that,
stud boy? Higher position? What's the highest position you can
think of, mister Abner?

Speaker 42 (02:02:47):
Oh and see uh well, I reckon prayers down in
the United States, Sabdary. Oh, core, that's about it's high.
She can get a wreckon whereabouts? I put the penny Sabdery.

Speaker 8 (02:02:59):
Right in that slow up there, boy, president of the
United States.

Speaker 42 (02:03:03):
Yeah it's from here. Yeah, I see it.

Speaker 8 (02:03:05):
Yeah, it's pretty good, Profeller. It never got past the
third grade, ain't it?

Speaker 42 (02:03:09):
Oh h that's good? All right? Yeah, yeah, that's mighty
good day. Oh here, come, yeah, I ain't tax you.
You see here a hundred and forty seven pounds. You
have a deep appreciation of r testic things.

Speaker 8 (02:03:31):
I'm almost sure, be surprised at me. She never thought
I'd mounted too much.

Speaker 42 (02:03:34):
Even you should develop your own musical talent. Well, did
you hear that? Long I got? I got musical talent?

Speaker 8 (02:03:44):
Yeah, I heard it. Whi's that train hurry of and
you get here?

Speaker 42 (02:03:47):
Don't get I never know what I had all them
musical talents before. Don't wonder what instrument I played?

Speaker 8 (02:03:54):
Don't it teil on the car there?

Speaker 42 (02:03:55):
Mister abner y' see? No, that's all is on there.
Don't say a word. Mm reckon? How fellows can find
that out? Now?

Speaker 8 (02:04:03):
Well, maybe you ought to try the machine again? It
might tell that.

Speaker 42 (02:04:06):
Why sure, that's right for in order?

Speaker 33 (02:04:09):
Thought of that?

Speaker 8 (02:04:10):
Myself said, whether I'm the president thinking of things so quick?

Speaker 42 (02:04:14):
Why sure? And see now? Yeah, yeah, here's another opinion.
I order had another?

Speaker 8 (02:04:20):
Yeah about ja Gomer Bates will be jedus. I mean
when he hears I'm going to be president.

Speaker 42 (02:04:24):
Mm I hope, hope I'll play a lack of trick guitar.
That's what I hope I play. I'll all us wanted
to play one of them? Just love 'em.

Speaker 8 (02:04:34):
Auburn hair and brown eyes. Can you hear the train
heet avenue.

Speaker 42 (02:04:40):
Here it comes, here comes the train. No, no, my fortune,
that's a little card here. See what this says? Find
out Order to play says uh, you're quick, whip and
easy charm makes you welcome in any society. However, do
do not neglect your writing career.

Speaker 8 (02:05:04):
Writing career, that's what he says. Here, Well, whatever happened
to your music career? Reckon?

Speaker 42 (02:05:10):
No, because I don't know sadery right when I'm getting
good at it. To wait a minute, wat, women, I
bound your hairs a reason I give it up so quick?
Right here? Boy, look here, one hundred and thirty seven pounds.
That means I just lost ten pounds, lost ten pounds?
Why sure I did one hundred and thirty seven my
way to one hundred and forty seven there, haule of gold?

Speaker 8 (02:05:30):
Right you surety? You're looking thinner too?

Speaker 42 (02:05:32):
I am?

Speaker 8 (02:05:33):
Huh yeah.

Speaker 42 (02:05:34):
I reckon that music playing is just too hard on me.
Whose guitars must be awful heavy lucky thing? I found
it out for it's too late, you know what, Well,
what are.

Speaker 35 (02:05:44):
You going to do?

Speaker 8 (02:05:44):
Then? Just set around write books?

Speaker 33 (02:05:46):
Now?

Speaker 42 (02:05:46):
I reckon soul sadery, that all is safe for me
to do in my condition.

Speaker 8 (02:05:51):
Ye, that's too bad, mister Long. Why don't you get weighed?
I don't care how much I weigh inside them scales
ain't accurate.

Speaker 42 (02:05:58):
Why they're too long. I just now lost ten pounds.
Never would have noted if the machine hadn't told me.
Go on, Long, weigh yourself.

Speaker 8 (02:06:06):
Every wont I gotta watch for the train.

Speaker 42 (02:06:08):
Well you can hear it when it comes in. Go
on now, lom.

Speaker 8 (02:06:11):
It just cost a penny, Yeah, all right, it'll make
you happy. What do I do?

Speaker 19 (02:06:17):
Now?

Speaker 8 (02:06:18):
Stand on this thing here?

Speaker 42 (02:06:19):
Yeah? Yeah, this, stand right there and drop your penny
and right up here. That's right, that's the place right there.

Speaker 8 (02:06:25):
Just a lot of priddle traddle though, I can tell
you that. H yeah, there's your card right there. Read
what it says, Long, I don't I know what to do?
I see away one hundred and sixty one.

Speaker 42 (02:06:38):
Well, I mean read the fortune port.

Speaker 8 (02:06:40):
Oh that fall are off? Uh, you are a brilliant
executive and is how did they know that?

Speaker 42 (02:06:49):
Is that all it says?

Speaker 2 (02:06:50):
No, it says you are a brilliant executive and a
stern leader. Well, however, you are courteous to strangers and
never late for appointment.

Speaker 8 (02:07:02):
Well, you know they hit it right on the button.

Speaker 42 (02:07:04):
Yeah, maybe we want to go to a restaurant. Need something.
I I'd like to fatten myself up again. If I can't, No,
you stay here, Avenue. Well, I'm hungry, long, dog is
I lost ten pounds today. I can't keep out of that.

Speaker 2 (02:07:16):
Don't make no difference. I'm sorry. I have to be stern,
but that's just the way I am. A brilliant executive
and a stern leader.

Speaker 8 (02:07:24):
It's in my blood.

Speaker 35 (02:07:25):
I think.

Speaker 42 (02:07:25):
Well, it'll just take a minute now, long, No, I.

Speaker 2 (02:07:27):
Don't want to miss the train. That's one thing about me.
I'm never late for a pint man. Oh my, I've
always been that way. All the eddards is Us had
a way right on the dot.

Speaker 8 (02:07:37):
Well, I'm hungry, and don't believe I'll try that machine
again this Marma. Believe I will too. I'm getting tired
of being president. I'd like to take up some other
work for a while. Well, let me be first, Edric.
I'm sort of a leader in everything. Stern but bridgiant.

Speaker 9 (02:07:53):
Mom.

Speaker 42 (02:07:53):
Can I just go and buy me a candy boar?

Speaker 8 (02:07:57):
After a while? Avenue?

Speaker 39 (02:07:58):
Oh, out of here?

Speaker 8 (02:08:00):
No card come out?

Speaker 42 (02:08:02):
It never did, did you put a penny in there.

Speaker 2 (02:08:05):
Yeah, put that in right there in that slot, same as.
Oh that's funny. End here, let me hit it once.
Sometimes the cards get stuck in there.

Speaker 42 (02:08:12):
Oh yeah, h.

Speaker 8 (02:08:17):
No, no card, Yeah here, let me hit it. I'll
bang it a good.

Speaker 42 (02:08:20):
Yeah, nothing happened. I reckon you better put another penny
in long.

Speaker 8 (02:08:28):
No, no, I ain't gonna waste another penny in here.

Speaker 42 (02:08:32):
Well, all right, would you like? Then?

Speaker 15 (02:08:37):
S matter of that thing?

Speaker 42 (02:08:38):
Well, a long that ain't doing no good.

Speaker 8 (02:08:41):
I wish I had a screwdriver.

Speaker 2 (02:08:42):
I'd open this dead blame thing up, Cedric, go and
get the manager or the ticket agent.

Speaker 42 (02:08:47):
I mean this, mom, now a long, don't go make
no fuss about it.

Speaker 8 (02:08:50):
Listen a now, I put a penny in this machine.
H granny's I'm gonna get something in return. Bird to
know the reason why, Well, oh you lost was a penny.
A penny's a penny. Nobody can do this to lumb
edars and get away with it, not a stern executive
like me.

Speaker 42 (02:09:04):
Well, I'll tell you one thing, long a palenting ain't
helping none. You're just gonna tear it.

Speaker 8 (02:09:10):
Look at that they got a chain down, so he
can't tip it over and get your money back. Snakes,
no weeds. It's the last time I've ever come into
this depot. I can tell you that I'll stop and
get on the train and have a fit of.

Speaker 42 (02:09:21):
For the lamb says, just don't work here. Oh now,
stop pounding that machine. I'll give you another penny.

Speaker 8 (02:09:28):
If I want to get my own penny bag. Nobody's
gonna do this to me. When al letter puts a
penny in some machine, that machine better pay offer. It'll
get walked right on top of the head.

Speaker 42 (02:09:37):
Don't waymen here come back. Maybe he's got it pick
stuff for you? What good ticket agents say?

Speaker 8 (02:09:44):
He said he was busy, Sudge, He says he ain't
got nothing to do with the way machine.

Speaker 2 (02:09:49):
That's just about what I figured he'd say, that low
down troup. I'm gonna write a letter to the prayers
down this railroad. I'll get that ticket agent part. That's
what I'll do.

Speaker 42 (02:09:58):
Malm maybe ain't his, of course it is.

Speaker 8 (02:10:01):
He just fixes this machine's and Anderson fellers like me.
He'll come in here and lose all their hard earned money.

Speaker 42 (02:10:06):
Long all you lost was a little old penny.

Speaker 2 (02:10:09):
I told you wants a pennies a penny side. It's
the principle of the thing. Wait a minute, maybe this
pocket knife over work?

Speaker 42 (02:10:17):
Pocket knife? What are you gonna do? Stab yourself?

Speaker 8 (02:10:19):
No, I'm gonna unscrew them screws there and get my
money back.

Speaker 35 (02:10:22):
A lot of them.

Speaker 42 (02:10:22):
You can't do that.

Speaker 8 (02:10:24):
I can done it.

Speaker 42 (02:10:25):
Watch machine, don't wrong you now?

Speaker 8 (02:10:27):
Long, Hey, mister lum hash ap Cedric, But mister lum,
I told you to keep quiet, can't you see him?

Speaker 31 (02:10:32):
Busy?

Speaker 8 (02:10:33):
Don't protest is importance. The train's already come.

Speaker 42 (02:10:36):
Uh, the trains here, lo on me. We better get
out there and find this loan.

Speaker 8 (02:10:40):
It's too late, too late, this wm just two people
got off the train and both of them got in
taxicabs and drove away, drove away. Oh my goodness, I
missed her home. Why didn't you tell me? Quicker? Sedric? Well,
I tried to, but you wouldn't let me. You're so
busy trying to get that penny bag.

Speaker 42 (02:10:56):
Hey long, look here, look here, you're a fortune cartel
out that little slow cares. Yeah, you're right here. Let's
see what it says. You are a wise and generous person,
but you have one full You are a rack Ris
fan Thrall.

Speaker 2 (02:11:20):
The Milds Laboratories makers of Alka Seltzer make two vitamin products,
one a day brand Vitamin A and D tablets and
one a day brand Vitamin B complex tablets. And I wonder, friends,
how much do you know and understand about vitamins. Well,
if you're like most of the folks I have talked to,
you know that you need vitamins, but you're not certain
which ones and how much, Well, this may help you.

(02:11:42):
Recent United States government surveys indicate that an average American
diet is particularly lacking in sufficient B vitamins. Now, this
being the case, we believe you will find it mighty
sensible to supplement your daily diet with one a day
brand Vitamin B complex tablets. That way, it costs very
little to be sure you're getting substantial amounts of the
B vitamins, because each one a day B complex tablet

(02:12:05):
contains your full minimum daily requirements of the B vitamins
for which requirements have been established. Think of that, just
one pleasant tasting tablet once a day, and that's all.
And because one a day Vitamin B complex tablets are
so low on price, how can you afford to run
the risk of a vitamin B deficiency. Start now today
to get your B vitamins the easy, pleasant, economical.

Speaker 8 (02:12:28):
One a day way. Remember when you visit your druggist,
the brand with that big one on the package is
the one to buy one a day Vitamin B complex tablets.

Speaker 5 (02:13:01):
Yeah, those penny machines are always troubled.

Speaker 42 (02:13:05):
They are.

Speaker 5 (02:13:05):
They are eighty three years ago, September twenty first, nineteen
forty two, Lomon Abner here on Classic Radio Theater with
Wyatt Talks. Later on this week we will have the
first episode of Claudia, and we will step back to
nineteen forty seven and bring you the entire series over

(02:13:27):
the next few few months. So there we go. Keep
it right here as We'll see you tomorrow on Classic
Radio Theater with Mister Keen Tracer Lost Persons, Barry Craig
Confidential Investigator, Alice Bachus stars in The Law and Miss
Deborah an episode of romance, and Jackie Kelk in Shadow

(02:13:50):
on the Wall, an episode of suspense. And we'll see
if we can figure out by about the new school teacher.
That'll all be coming up tomorrow here on Classic Radio Theater.
See you tomorrow, I'm Wyatt Cox,

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Classic Radio 09-21-25 - Jack in Scotland, This is America, and Daylight Saving

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 09-21-25 - Jack in Scotland, This is America, and Daylight Saving