Classic Radio 09-28-25 - Second Courtship, He man or Mouse, and The New Girlfriend - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Suspense, Shadow, Node Washington, calling David Honey, count.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
As my classic Radios Theater.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
The Great Elderslide Zipper McGhee and Molly Dragones Guns Alone,
rang Zoe.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine.

Speaker 5 (00:31):
It's your host, Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 6 (00:34):
Good evening, Friends, Vionna Tanto.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
A Sunday full of comedy with episodes of George Burns
and Gracey Allen from nineteen forty nine, for last season
of The Aldridge Family, Bobby Ellis from nineteen fifty two,
Father Knows Best from nineteen fifty and The Jack Parr
Show from nineteen forty seven. We'll wrap it all up
with an episode of Loman Abner. That's all coming up

(01:03):
on this Sunday. This is the twenty eighth day of
September two hundred seventy, first day of the year, ninety
four days left in twenty twenty five. Samuel Huntington elected
President of the Continental Congress on this date in seventeen
seventy nine, succeeding John Jay. American forces, backed by a
French fleet began the siege of Yorktown, Virginia on this

(01:25):
date in seventeen eighty one during the Revolutionary War. The
newly completed US Constitution voted on this date in seventeen
eighty seven by Congress to be sent to the state
legislators legislatures rather for approval. Warsaw surrendered to Nazi Germany
on this date. In nineteen thirty nine. During World War II,

(01:47):
Germany and the Soviet Union agreed on a division of
Poland after their invasion. It was on this date baseball
great hit Ted Williams hit a homer in his last
career at bat.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
The Drives the Deep Drink Center.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
This Mabey bomb, williams homer helped the Boston Red Sox
beat the Baltimore Oreoles five four at Benway Park. In
nineteen seventy three, the Itt Building in New York City
was bombed to protest ITT's involvement in the September eleventh,
nineteen seventy three Coups de Taie in Chile on this

(02:25):
date in nineteen seventy three. In nineteen seventy four, First
later Lady Betty Ford underwent a mastectomy at BEATHEESDA Naval
Medical Center in Maryland after doctors discovered a cancer slump
on her breast. A somber President Ford visited his wife
before the surgery.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
We will as a family have faith that everything's okay.

Speaker 5 (02:49):
And of course that started the paying attention of lumps
and breasts and tests for breast cancer mom and Ali
defending his heavy boxing title on this date in nineteen
seventy six with a hard fifteen round win a decision
over Ken Norton at Yankee Stadium in New York City.

(03:10):
When it was over, Muhammad Ali told reporters he bought
a great bite.

Speaker 7 (03:14):
That was a.

Speaker 8 (03:15):
Miracle what I did tonight, dance und like I did
in the last round.

Speaker 5 (03:20):
Mohammad Ali on this date in nineteen seventy six. On
that same date, by the way, Stevie Wonder released the
classic double album Songs in the Key of Life, Such
great music in that album Encounter at Fair Point. The
first episode of Star Trek the Next Generation aired on
this date in nineteen eighty seven. In nineteen ninety five,

(03:42):
Lead O. J. Simpson defense attorney Johnny Cochran argued to
the jury his client was framed by the former police detective.
Using a now famous.

Speaker 9 (03:52):
Line, if it doesn't fit, you must equit.

Speaker 5 (03:56):
Cochran implored the jury to disregard. The prosecutor's contention is
that Mark Furman, who had made racial statements, was not
important to the case.

Speaker 9 (04:06):
In nineteen eighty five, Mark Furman responded to a call
on Rocking Air. Mark Furman is a line perjuring genocidal racist,
and from that moment on, anytime he could get O. J. Simpson,
he would do it.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
Simpson would be criminally acquitted in the murder of his
ex wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. However, at
a later time he would be held civilly liable for
their deaths. Whole big difference there at the White House
on this stage. In nineteen ninety five, a deals signed
they gave the Palestinians control of much of the West Bank.

(04:50):
Prime Minister Jitsak Rabin made this statement to Palestinian leader
Yasir Arafat.

Speaker 10 (04:56):
We who have killed and have been killed walking beside
you know, to a ecomon future.

Speaker 5 (05:07):
Five weeks later, I've been killed by an Israeli al
assassin who opposed the peace steel an expect of the
overdue magnitude six point zero earthquake hit Parkville, California on
this date in two thousand and four. In two thousand
and eight, Elon Musk's SpaceX launched the first private spacecraft,
the Falcon one, into orbit Amamazon. This date. Three years

(05:30):
ago today, Hurricane Ian barreled ashore in southwest Florida as
a massive Category four storm. Governor Ron de Santis spoke
of the impending storm.

Speaker 11 (05:40):
A storm of this magnitude will produce catastrophic flooding and
life threatening storm surge on the Gulf Coast of Florida,
and the highest risk areas are ranging from Collier County
up to Sarasota County.

Speaker 5 (05:54):
About two and a half million people ordered to evacuate
before the storm hit. Maximum sustained wins one hundred and
fifty miles an hour. Among those passing on this date
in history include Emperor Henry the sixth of Rome. Also
Herman Melville, the novelist Moby Dick, scientist Louis Pasteur, astronomer

(06:18):
Edwin Hubbell, the very funny Harpo Marx. Also Pope John Paul,
the first Charles Adams, the President of the Philippines, fernand Marcos.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
I'd like to go back to the Philippines, stay in
my part of the country and live a passion's life.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
But Marcos would die in Honolulu in exile from the Philippines. Also,
and his son, by the way, is the current President
of the Philippines. Jazz trumpeter Miles Davis passing on this date.
African American tennis player ALTHEA. Gibson, Shimo Perez, the former
Prime Minister and President of Israel, rapper Coolio, Drake Hodgton,

(07:03):
Days of Our Lives, and Chris Christofferson, all passing away
on this date. In history, birthdays on this date include
the philosopher Confucius, also Italian artist Michelangelo, radio TV executive
William S. Paley mostly for CBS, a CBS legend Ed Sullivan,

(07:26):
boxer Max schmailing cartoonist Al capp Ethel Rosenberg, the accused spy,
the mother of three founding members of the Beach Boys,
Audrey Wilson, actor Arnold Stang, actor William Wyndham, actor Marcello Mastriani,
the very funny Southern comedian Jerry Klower, announcer Rod Roddy,

(07:49):
and Ben E.

Speaker 8 (07:50):
King.

Speaker 5 (07:50):
All those folks born on this date in history, but
they have left the building.

Speaker 8 (07:55):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 12 (07:56):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 8 (07:59):
The following people are now officially older than Dirt.

Speaker 5 (08:03):
Brigette Bardeaux ninety one years old. Today. She won an
Academy Award for Woody Allen's Mighty Aphrodite. Mira Sorvino fifty
eight Today. From The Ring Naomi Watts fifty seven.

Speaker 11 (08:18):
I'm not interested in getting married.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
My work comes.

Speaker 5 (08:21):
First from the movie j Edgar about the Embattled and
the first head of the FBI j Edgar Hoober Naomi
Watts fifty seven Today, the ex wife of Marilyn Manson Burless.
Dancer Dita Bontes is fifty three. Today Pussycat Dolls Melanie

(08:45):
Thornton is forty one. Actress singer Hillary Dupp thirty eight.
From Electric Kristen p. Proud is thirty five, and from
Gray's Anatomy, Alex Landi is thirty three. Those who's a
few of the people celebrating the twenty eight day of
September is their birthday. If this is your birthday.

Speaker 13 (09:08):
We baked you a birthday cake.

Speaker 14 (09:11):
If you get it on me a and you moan
and grown and woe, don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
MCA wishneer and blow off the candles.

Speaker 5 (09:24):
Here they go, Ham will get started with George and
Gracie from seventy six years ago in just a moment.

Speaker 15 (09:44):
Civil defense is common sense. Hi, this is Tony Bennett.
Make sure you are prepared if nuclear attack ever comes.

Speaker 5 (09:51):
If you ask Gracy Allen, George sang better than Tony
Bennett at he says to what she'd say in character anyway.
Seventy six years ago, sept Him twenty eight, nineteen forty nine,
George Burns and Gracie Allen on Classic Radio Theater with
Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 16 (10:06):
Are you reducing tooth decay with amidant ammoniated toothpaste?

Speaker 14 (10:13):
Well answerm George, of course, Gracie, I use Amazon twice
a day.

Speaker 17 (10:18):
You can smile when you say that.

Speaker 18 (10:24):
Yes, it's the Amadet Joe, transcribed in Hollywood and starring
George Burns and Gracy Award would George, Julie, Bill Goodwin,

(10:44):
b Benedert, Howard mcneer, how much Harry Luban and the
Amadad Orchestra.

Speaker 16 (10:49):
For healthy laughter, it's George and Gracy.

Speaker 18 (10:52):
And for healthier teeth, for fewer cavities, it's Amaedet toothpaste.
Since her return from Europe last week, Gracie has been
the center of attraction among her neighbors. We find her

(11:12):
now telling Blanche Morton all about Paris.

Speaker 17 (11:15):
Oh, Blanche, I adored parish. It's so gay and romantic.

Speaker 19 (11:19):
Well, Gracie, it's sure good to see you, or as
the French.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Would say, you sweet all chante?

Speaker 17 (11:26):
Is that what that means? Good to see you?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Uh?

Speaker 17 (11:29):
Huh gee, I slapped twelve frenchmen to say that to me.

Speaker 20 (11:34):
Tell me about those frenchmen, Gracie, are they really.

Speaker 21 (11:38):
You know all?

Speaker 17 (11:39):
They sureche must reformer?

Speaker 22 (11:43):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (11:44):
Yes, it's like seeing in a country full of the
good ones. They're romantic?

Speaker 23 (11:55):
Huh are they?

Speaker 17 (11:56):
If your husband isn't with you every minute?

Speaker 3 (11:59):
Well, oh, I'll bet George was fifty be tied.

Speaker 17 (12:03):
Yeah, I wish I thought of it, did I see?
Do those frenchmen really eat snails?

Speaker 21 (12:11):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (12:12):
I don't think so, Blanche. They couldn't eat snails and.

Speaker 24 (12:14):
Work that fast?

Speaker 7 (12:19):
Why?

Speaker 17 (12:19):
And fancy even then? And their sixties are romantic sexagenarians. Look,
I wouldn't go that far, but they're romantic. I wish
our husband's had some French.

Speaker 25 (12:34):
Blood, yeah, or any other kind.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
You know.

Speaker 17 (12:38):
George used to be very romantic when we were first married.

Speaker 14 (12:41):
Huh, that's husbands for you.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
During the honeymoon. They're so gland, so dashing.

Speaker 14 (12:47):
But look how they wind up.

Speaker 17 (12:48):
I can't even wind Georgia. Remember when your husband used
to rush home from work and greet you with those
three Oh George, Joe reads me with three little words,
what's for dinner?

Speaker 14 (13:06):
Just like my harry.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
First thing when he gets in the house, the lid
comes off the pot.

Speaker 17 (13:12):
You're lucky George leaves his hat on.

Speaker 22 (13:22):
I'll bet those Frenchmen aren't like that, are they, Grace?

Speaker 17 (13:25):
Oh, no, Blanche. They're so charming and romantic. When you
sit down to have dinner, they bow and kiss your hand.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Does George ever kiss your hand before dinner?

Speaker 17 (13:34):
With his appetite, I'd be afraid to let him try it.

Speaker 8 (13:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (13:39):
If every year of marriage could only be like the
first year.

Speaker 17 (13:44):
We ought to pass a law, a law that says
a marriage license is only good for one year.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
One year.

Speaker 17 (13:50):
Yeah, and then if a man wanted to keep his wife,
he'd have to renew it like a dog license. Yes,
but in order to renew it, he'd have to caught
his wife all over again, have a date with her,
and ask her to marry him.

Speaker 22 (14:06):
Well, he has a fine idea, Gracie, but our husbands
will never do it.

Speaker 7 (14:10):
They do.

Speaker 17 (14:11):
I'll make it a law, the TLF Gracie law.

Speaker 14 (14:17):
What's taff got to do with it?

Speaker 17 (14:19):
Nothing? But he's in all the laws.

Speaker 14 (14:23):
Well, Gracie, you can't force a man to be romantic.

Speaker 24 (14:27):
You've got to be subtle about it.

Speaker 17 (14:29):
Well do you think that a work on George?

Speaker 8 (14:31):
For sure?

Speaker 19 (14:33):
Now?

Speaker 17 (14:33):
Look, did you buy a negligee in Paris?

Speaker 21 (14:35):
You?

Speaker 17 (14:35):
Oh, a beautiful one, all broccolaies.

Speaker 22 (14:37):
Well try that on George, oh branch with his figure.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
No, Gracie, you wear the neglige.

Speaker 17 (14:48):
Oh oh, that's a wonderful idea. Oh, radell Judge sees
me in that neglige. Oh oh, George, I've been waiting

(15:09):
for you.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Look at me.

Speaker 14 (15:12):
Well, darling, what's for dinner?

Speaker 7 (15:20):
George?

Speaker 17 (15:21):
All you have to say?

Speaker 14 (15:22):
No, I hope your uncle John is going back to
San Francisco. He keeps eating the pickles, and you know
how I love a pickle before dinner. I better go
and see if it's not a Judge way, what is it?

Speaker 17 (15:34):
My lips are pocket? Doesn't that give you an idea?

Speaker 14 (15:37):
You've been eating the pickles too.

Speaker 17 (15:42):
Oh look at me. You haven't even noticed what I'm worrying.

Speaker 14 (15:47):
You better take that nightgown off. You'll get pickle juice
on it.

Speaker 17 (15:53):
It's not a nightgown, it's a neglige.

Speaker 14 (15:56):
Well here, slip on my coach. You'll freeze, Yorge.

Speaker 17 (16:00):
All I need to keep me warm is a pair
of arms.

Speaker 14 (16:03):
That's chilly. Take the whole coat. I'm going out to
get a pickle.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
Oh no, you're not.

Speaker 21 (16:10):
What.

Speaker 17 (16:10):
Oh you're gonna court me. You're gotta take me out
on a date and ask me to marry you.

Speaker 14 (16:16):
Are you crazy or something? I did that sixteen years ago?

Speaker 17 (16:20):
Well I want you to do it again. What for
to put a little fire into your heart?

Speaker 14 (16:24):
Let me eat a pickle. That'll do it.

Speaker 17 (16:29):
I mean the fire of romance. I want to recapture
the thrill of our cordship. I want you to be
the same dashing lover who swept me off my feet.

Speaker 14 (16:38):
Look, honey, it's a time for everything. I'm at the
pickle age now.

Speaker 22 (16:54):
I only hope that they did me were Well.

Speaker 14 (16:58):
Look who's here? Looks here?

Speaker 17 (17:00):
Hello, uncle John.

Speaker 21 (17:01):
It's nice to.

Speaker 14 (17:02):
See you two together. Oh it's oh it's nice. What's
doing well?

Speaker 17 (17:06):
I'm I'm trying to build a fire under George.

Speaker 14 (17:10):
What's a strange place for a man to get cold? Graycie,
would you leave the room for a moment. I want
to talk to Uncle John alone.

Speaker 17 (17:19):
Well that's fine, no romans for you, wife. But the
minute Uncle John walked in the room, go go go.
Oh yeah, I can take a hand.

Speaker 21 (17:28):
Now.

Speaker 14 (17:28):
Look, Uncle John, when I invited you to stay here
last week, I thought you were our sponsor, the man
who makes Amadon's toothfaste. Oh, but I'm nice, I'm not.
I wish I were. Oh I love amit. Oh it's
admits your teaser. Oh it's good, I tell you. Yes,
Well we all like it. But getting back to you

(17:49):
living here, there's an old saying to his company, and
three is a crowd. Oh that's a nice say. Oh
I like Oh who's coming in three?

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (17:57):
Oh that's a Derby dude. Look, so one of us
has to pack up and go to San Francisco. That
would leave too, yeh. But we'd miss you, Joe. Oh,
it'd miss you.

Speaker 26 (18:10):
Oh we like you.

Speaker 14 (18:11):
Oh, even mister Purvis likes you. That's something else I
want to talk to you about your friend, mister Purpose. Oh,
he's a strong, rugged man, mister Purvis. He wakes up
by himself in the morning. He got He sleeps in
the park. You know, I know he sleeps in the park,
but he eats here. Every time I walk into the kitchen,
he's eating. He's a proud man, mister Purps, who's very proud.

(18:32):
I tell him he can owe us for the food,
but no, sir, no, so he refuses to owe any man.
He insists we give it to him, my friend. No,
he's proud. He's a proud man. And he's neat too.

Speaker 21 (18:47):
Well.

Speaker 14 (18:47):
So that reminds me I must run out and get
the latest paper from mister Purvis. So he doesn't like
to sleep under yesterday's paper. I'll see your last. Yes, Grayci,
You've got to tell your uncle John to go back home.
He and that purpose of driving me nuts. There is

(19:09):
one pickle left in that kitchen.

Speaker 17 (19:11):
Well, if certain people would be more romatic to certain people,
then certain people wouldn't need their uncles around to keep
certain people from getting lonesome.

Speaker 14 (19:20):
You mean, if I go through with the second courtship business,
you'll send them home.

Speaker 17 (19:24):
Certain people catch on very quickly.

Speaker 14 (19:26):
It's not hard when certain people hit them with a club.
What do I have to do?

Speaker 17 (19:32):
Well, we'll pretend with single and you asked me for
a date tonight?

Speaker 14 (19:35):
Okay, how about a day tonight?

Speaker 21 (19:38):
Oh no, not like that?

Speaker 17 (19:39):
First, tell me you love me?

Speaker 16 (19:41):
I love you?

Speaker 17 (19:42):
You love me madly?

Speaker 14 (19:44):
I love you madley.

Speaker 17 (19:45):
Now stayed with feeling like your madness.

Speaker 14 (19:48):
I love you madly.

Speaker 17 (19:52):
Now ask me for a day.

Speaker 14 (19:53):
How about a day tonight?

Speaker 17 (19:54):
How about a day tonight, dolling?

Speaker 14 (19:57):
How about a day tonight?

Speaker 16 (19:58):
Dollar?

Speaker 17 (19:59):
What's some passionate?

Speaker 14 (20:01):
How about it day to night?

Speaker 21 (20:03):
Darling?

Speaker 17 (20:05):
Now let's hear the whole speech.

Speaker 14 (20:07):
I love you madly? How about it day tonight? Telling sorry,
I'm busy, you're you're busy.

Speaker 17 (20:22):
I'm not really. I just said that so you think
I was very popular? Now, don't forget. You're gonna propose tonight.

Speaker 14 (20:29):
Just better get rid of your uncle John.

Speaker 13 (20:31):
Oh, come in.

Speaker 18 (20:33):
Hill, Have you got any plans for tonight?

Speaker 17 (20:36):
I don't, thank so, Bill, Tonight is something I've been
waiting for for sixteen years. Johne's gonna ask me to
marry him?

Speaker 16 (20:47):
To marry him? Impetuous little beaver, isn't it.

Speaker 14 (20:52):
It's a gag. Bill, Gracie wants me to quart her again.
Oh so silly. I caught it her sixteen years ago.

Speaker 17 (20:59):
But that caught ship has grown cold.

Speaker 16 (21:01):
If you think that one's cold, where did you get
this one?

Speaker 14 (21:09):
Switching networks didn't slow you down a.

Speaker 17 (21:11):
Bit, George, I just had a sensational idea. We'll really
make tonight's day just like old time.

Speaker 26 (21:19):
Bill.

Speaker 17 (21:19):
You can be Riley Jackson.

Speaker 16 (21:21):
Who's Riley Jackson?

Speaker 14 (21:22):
He was my rival for Gracie's man. I guess you
know who lost? Yeah, Gracie, that you could have left
with NBC.

Speaker 17 (21:34):
Rolly Jackson was mother's choice.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Bill.

Speaker 17 (21:37):
He was a bartender and every Saturday night when he
came to call, he'd bring something from mother.

Speaker 16 (21:41):
Really what did he bring?

Speaker 14 (21:47):
They were reached carrying a load, not alone.

Speaker 17 (21:52):
Boys, your rivals, and you both want me to go
out with you tonight.

Speaker 21 (21:56):
Stop.

Speaker 14 (21:57):
Okay, Well go out with me.

Speaker 8 (21:59):
Grace.

Speaker 14 (22:00):
We'll go to Sam's doc a Tessen who they've got
great pickles.

Speaker 18 (22:05):
Go with me, Gracie, we'll go up on Mulholland Drive
and park in the moonlight.

Speaker 16 (22:09):
I can do better than George with one hand tied
behind me.

Speaker 17 (22:13):
Tie both hands and I'll consider it.

Speaker 18 (22:21):
Well, all right, I'll take you to Cerros, then the
Mocambo Romanofs, the Brown Derby.

Speaker 14 (22:26):
How about it?

Speaker 17 (22:26):
Well, where would you take me, Judge?

Speaker 14 (22:29):
You love Sam's pickles mine.

Speaker 17 (22:32):
It's hard to decide. Oh, I'll tell you what each
of you kissed me, and then I'll make my decisions.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, Jorge, if that's the.

Speaker 17 (22:40):
Way it actually happened. And besides, you've got nothing to
worry about. I ticked you and I can't change history. Well,
all right, here's my kiss, and now you Riley Jackson.

Speaker 16 (22:53):
Get ready, baby, George?

Speaker 17 (23:01):
What Let's do it over again? And this time you'll
be Rolly Jackson and told e John.

Speaker 16 (23:45):
This is Bill Goodwin.

Speaker 18 (23:46):
Folks, every week at this time I ask you this question.
Are you reducing tooth decay with eminence emmoniated toothpaste? Are
you have you tried this amazing new discovery to reduce
tooth amidan toothpaste? Are your children using amidan to help
protect them from the pain and grief of ugly cavities

(24:08):
every time they brush their teeth? Yes, Amidant is a
revolutionary discovery, A genuine ammoniated toothpaste. That means it contains
two wonderful ingredients to help prevent cavities.

Speaker 16 (24:21):
No other leading.

Speaker 14 (24:22):
Toothpaste contains these ingredients.

Speaker 18 (24:25):
No wonder more dentists recommend amident toothpaste and toothpowder than
any other dentifice. But make no mistake, Amidant toothpaste still
does everything your regular toothpaste can do. Cleans teeth superbly,
it checks unpleasant breadth, and as for taste, you will
love it. The single difference between Amadant and regular toothpaste

(24:46):
is this Amidant actually does help prevent cavities because Amidan
is emmoniated. So if you want truly effective anti decay
action and toothpaste form, ask for Amidant A M M
I D E N T Amadent toothpaste that you're drug
counter next week. I hope you'll answer yes when I

(25:07):
ask are you reducing tooth decay with Amadan toothpaste?

Speaker 27 (25:49):
Ever?

Speaker 18 (25:49):
Hear of the tast Gracie Law, Well, that's Gracey's new
plan to keep romance alive in marriages, and it states
that every year couple's become single again, well upon the
husband must recourt his wife find the promise that Gracie's uncle.

Speaker 8 (26:03):
John would move out.

Speaker 14 (26:04):
George has agreed, and we now find the Burns is
having a date.

Speaker 17 (26:08):
Oh, George, I enjoyed that movie. Humphrey Bogot is so wonderful.

Speaker 14 (26:12):
Lauren Becall is quite a dish too. I'd like to
talk to Bogot someday. What about Well, A man is
naturally curious to know what it's like to be married
to a gorgeous, seductive siren.

Speaker 17 (26:23):
I don't think our marriage is any of his business.

Speaker 14 (26:31):
I'll quit while on my head.

Speaker 17 (26:34):
Let me decide, Dear, we're not married tonight.

Speaker 14 (26:35):
Remember I've been trying to forget.

Speaker 17 (26:37):
Oh now, George, we're.

Speaker 24 (26:38):
Gonna have fun.

Speaker 17 (26:40):
We'll do everything just like we did on our first date.
Come on, let's go into the drug store.

Speaker 14 (26:44):
Is that where I took you on off?

Speaker 17 (26:45):
I and George, I want you to order the same
thing tonight you ordered.

Speaker 21 (26:49):
Then?

Speaker 17 (26:49):
What a thrill I got when you said to the
man one vanilla soda with two straws.

Speaker 14 (26:54):
I quit in the wartor of soda with two straws
in the hall, Gracie, I'd be embarrassed to death.

Speaker 17 (27:00):
Everything. Let's be exactly the same, Great George.

Speaker 20 (27:04):
Oh All, right, come on, hello, folks, right down here.
Funny think two of those silly high school kids were
just sitting there.

Speaker 8 (27:17):
What do you think they ordered?

Speaker 28 (27:22):
One sola was too strong?

Speaker 8 (27:28):
Did you ever hear of anything? The whole time they
were in here? I was trying to guess whether it
was love or the fifteen cents?

Speaker 21 (27:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (27:42):
What would you folks like?

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (27:48):
I sure, George?

Speaker 8 (27:51):
Yeah? What do you want?

Speaker 14 (27:57):
A vanilla shoulder and two straws?

Speaker 23 (28:03):
Well?

Speaker 16 (28:03):
Anyhow with you?

Speaker 29 (28:04):
But I don't have to do any guessing.

Speaker 14 (28:10):
Just get the soda button. Never mind the conversation.

Speaker 16 (28:13):
Okay, that was vanilla, wasn't it. Yes?

Speaker 14 (28:17):
You know we serve a scoop of ice cream on
our sodas. So what so would you like two spoons?
Who were your wrestler for that? Get the soda?

Speaker 26 (28:36):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (28:36):
Thanks for the third, dear. I'm sorry you got into
a fight.

Speaker 14 (28:39):
With that clerk. You got too fresh to suit me.

Speaker 17 (28:42):
You sure shut him up when he said he'd knocked
you down. He didn't know who he was talking to. No,
but when you got up, you told him.

Speaker 14 (28:54):
That big coward hitting a man with glass.

Speaker 17 (28:58):
Yeah, and he didn't even take the soda.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Out of them.

Speaker 14 (29:05):
Well, let's go home. I've had enough of this.

Speaker 17 (29:07):
Oh but Darling, we haven't had our stroll in the
park yet. That's the way you proposed to me.

Speaker 14 (29:11):
Remember, Racey, I'm tired and my feet height.

Speaker 17 (29:14):
You want Uncle John to leave, don't you.

Speaker 14 (29:16):
Well, okay, we'll go to the park. At least I
can sit on a bench and rest my feet and
feed the squirrel's peanuts.

Speaker 17 (29:23):
Feed the squirrel's peanuts.

Speaker 14 (29:25):
When you've got me, well, i'll give them that choice.

Speaker 21 (29:30):
Let's go.

Speaker 17 (29:47):
It's nice here in the park. I love being in
a great out of dodge with you, Judge. It makes
me feel like Tarzan's Nate. Tarzan's Nate.

Speaker 14 (29:58):
I heard you the first time.

Speaker 16 (29:59):
That was an owl up in the tree.

Speaker 17 (30:02):
Oh anyway, I think of myself as Tarzan's Nates. Tarzan's Nates.

Speaker 14 (30:09):
That was the owl again?

Speaker 3 (30:12):
No, isn't he?

Speaker 17 (30:14):
You're not acting very romantic, George.

Speaker 14 (30:16):
I don't feel romantic.

Speaker 17 (30:18):
Oh maybe I should have dated Riley Jackson.

Speaker 14 (30:21):
Who he is?

Speaker 3 (30:23):
That nose?

Speaker 8 (30:23):
The owl?

Speaker 21 (30:23):
Again? That was me?

Speaker 8 (30:32):
Who was it?

Speaker 22 (30:32):
You should have dated Riley Jackson. Riley Jackson, that was
the owl?

Speaker 8 (30:46):
Now?

Speaker 17 (30:46):
That was a fellow who used to bring my father.

Speaker 14 (30:48):
Home I meant it was the owl, I said, who Oh,
I thought you said it. I said it the first time.

Speaker 30 (30:56):
O me, that was the owl.

Speaker 14 (31:01):
For Pete's sake. Let's go home.

Speaker 17 (31:03):
Oh right, George, I haven't proposed to me yet.

Speaker 14 (31:05):
I can't think of anything to say.

Speaker 17 (31:07):
Forget done and it'll come to you, all right.

Speaker 14 (31:11):
Oh boy, I feel like Josh.

Speaker 17 (31:18):
I wish you got more like Larry Parks.

Speaker 14 (31:22):
Gracy, I hear someone coming help me up.

Speaker 17 (31:24):
Oh it's still a good one.

Speaker 14 (31:26):
It looks just like that.

Speaker 17 (31:27):
All Oh, and then the girl.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
With a match.

Speaker 16 (31:35):
Oh, hello, be George and Gracie.

Speaker 14 (31:37):
Folks, I'd like you to meet the girl my one
and only sweetheart.

Speaker 16 (31:42):
This is miss Roberts.

Speaker 17 (31:44):
No, no, my name is Branford.

Speaker 16 (31:46):
Oh pardon me, I thought this was Tuesday.

Speaker 14 (31:51):
Would you like to share this bench with us? Well, George,
we better find a bench of our own. See, I'm
gonna pop the question tonight. Oh come on, Peggy, we'll
see you later.

Speaker 17 (32:00):
For Oh, George, did you hear that Bill's gonna cop
the question? Go hide under that bench and listen what.

Speaker 21 (32:09):
Hid bo?

Speaker 17 (32:10):
You learn how it's done?

Speaker 14 (32:11):
By next pert, Gracie, I wouldn't think of hiding under
that bench, Bill might say something I shouldn't hear. Why
he might even.

Speaker 18 (32:21):
Wait here, kid, Peggy Darling, Yes, Bill, Honey, there's something

(32:41):
I've been wanting to ask you.

Speaker 17 (32:43):
I know, Bill, and I've been wanting you to If.

Speaker 16 (32:47):
You say yes, you'll you'll make me the happiest man
in the world.

Speaker 17 (32:51):
Well ask me, Darling. I'm waiting.

Speaker 14 (32:55):
Are you reducing tooth decay with Amadan?

Speaker 21 (32:57):
The morning?

Speaker 17 (33:00):
Of course, I'll marry you and will be.

Speaker 28 (33:04):
What did you say?

Speaker 18 (33:06):
You love the sparkling smile Amadan gives you, Peggy. It
leaves your teeth bright, and you'll say your mouth never
felt so clean. Amadan is a grand wake up toothpaste.

Speaker 13 (33:16):
Bill.

Speaker 17 (33:17):
We didn't come out here to brush our teeth, did we?

Speaker 8 (33:23):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (33:23):
No?

Speaker 18 (33:24):
But it's an idea. Amadan tastes delightful. That's why it's
easy to get children to use it, and it's wonderful
to know that Amadan is helping to protect their teeth
against decay. Amadan has been tested and commended by Parents Magazine.

Speaker 14 (33:38):
But Bill, I thought, oh, huh, what's the.

Speaker 16 (33:42):
Matter, Peggy.

Speaker 31 (33:42):
Well, there's something under our bingch to dark under there.

Speaker 23 (33:47):
But I can hear it moving.

Speaker 14 (33:49):
Well, it's probably just a gopher. Forget it now.

Speaker 28 (33:53):
I better look.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Bill.

Speaker 26 (33:58):
What do wear glasses?

Speaker 16 (34:04):
Oh, Peggy, don't be silly. Let me look under there.

Speaker 8 (34:09):
By.

Speaker 16 (34:09):
Golly, they do.

Speaker 14 (34:21):
Well, George, What if they'll say, he said, amatant reduces too?
Stay cake?

Speaker 17 (34:26):
Oh no, why can't you think of sweet things like that?

Speaker 14 (34:31):
I've got no imagination.

Speaker 17 (34:33):
Well, come on, George, I've waited long enough. How watch
you to oppose to me?

Speaker 14 (34:36):
Oh all right, wait till I get down on my
knees again. Oh there, now, will you marry me?

Speaker 17 (34:45):
Well I can't. You're much too short for me.

Speaker 14 (34:50):
I'm on my knees.

Speaker 17 (34:51):
Oh no, this is so romantic.

Speaker 14 (34:54):
This is romantic. One of us is crazy. You know
who your papa.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
I'm coming, come, come, come in, come in.

Speaker 14 (35:17):
I'm mister mister Purvis. What are you doing here at
this time of No, it's late, it's late, Uncle John.

Speaker 16 (35:23):
I ran all the way over here from the park.

Speaker 25 (35:24):
I just had a terrible shock.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
What was it? What was it?

Speaker 14 (35:28):
I'm sleeping in the park. I hear a man talking.
I sneak up closers. I can see his face. It's
mister Burns. Oh well, that was a shock, I come
to the gruesome patchun he was proposed a marriage to
your niece, Grayson. Oh that's sweet.

Speaker 8 (35:49):
Don't you realize what this means.

Speaker 21 (35:50):
They ain't married.

Speaker 18 (35:52):
They're living here without benefit of Lowe and grin.

Speaker 17 (36:06):
Well home the last darling price for being so sweet
to me tonight.

Speaker 14 (36:11):
You know, Gracie, maybe this idea of yours had something
after all. I'm beginning to feel romantic as heck.

Speaker 17 (36:18):
Oh I knew it would work, sweet hig, I kiss
your hand with them. Oh you're acting just like a frenchman.

Speaker 14 (36:28):
And ju and ju. Hey, Gracie, right a day to
try that French on me tonight?

Speaker 17 (36:36):
All right, but I still think it'll look better on me.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Let's go in the house so you can put it on.

Speaker 17 (36:45):
Well, would you like to carry me across the threshold?

Speaker 14 (36:48):
I sure would? Here it goes, Shall we try it?

Speaker 17 (36:55):
Piggy pack?

Speaker 14 (36:59):
No, I've got jo. Put the key of the loft
for shame. Rap that woman, mister Purpose, get out of
this house after you your cat. Don't worry you protected
real partect.

Speaker 17 (37:17):
My uncle John, doan to hold that shotgun? The George said,
might go up and wake up the whole neighborhood.

Speaker 14 (37:26):
What's going on here tonight? There at nothing going on
here tonight. You're scamming for the YMCA. Scram yourself, Uncle John,
and I can't dree blast them one. Hold it, hold it,
I'm going fine. Romantic night that's turned.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Out to me.

Speaker 14 (37:42):
I'll spend it at the YMCA.

Speaker 17 (37:44):
No wait, George, it can still be romantic. Oh well,
I'll go get you the neglige.

Speaker 14 (37:49):
It won't fit me.

Speaker 16 (38:02):
Jordian guys, you'll return in just a moment.

Speaker 18 (38:04):
Join us again next Wednesday, when we'll all be back.
George Burns, Gracie Allen, Bill Goodwin, Harry Lubin and the
Amadant Orchestra.

Speaker 14 (38:11):
Now here are stars. We're a little light folks. Good night.

Speaker 18 (38:24):
Have you noticed the new low price on Amadan toothpowder.
That's because the enormous volume on Amadan has enabled us
to reduce the price. Yes, Amadan is now the world's
largest selling toothpowder.

Speaker 8 (38:36):
No wonder.

Speaker 18 (38:37):
Amident contains three times more ammonia releasing anti decay ingredients
than any other emmoniated powder, three times more ammoniated protection
for you. So if you like toothpaste, get amadent toothpaste.
If you prefer toothpowder. Take advantage of the new low
price on Amadan toothpowder. Work before the amadant Ad featuring

(39:08):
Robert Young Star Father Noah's Best heard thurnsdays over another
network until next Wednesday. Good Night and good health from
the makers of Amadan, the emoniated toothpaste and toothpowder recommended
by more dentists than any other dentifrie So George Burns
and Gracie Allen. Program was transcribed in Hollywood and written
by Paul Henning, and was produced and directed by William

(39:31):
Burns NCY CBS the Columbia Broadcasting System.

Speaker 5 (39:50):
Another long forgotten product, Amadan Toothpowder seventy Toothpowder in General
well forgotten seventy six years ago. September twenty eighth Night
forty nine, George and Gracie, You're on a classic radio
theater with Wyatcock's up next, the last season of the
Aldridge Family.

Speaker 32 (40:14):
Civil Defense is common sense. This is Boris Karloff. No
one can guarantee the survival of every home during a
nuclear war, but a strong civil defense can save millions
of lives. Make sure that yours is one of them.
Learn how to protect your home. Call civil Defense Today.

Speaker 13 (40:36):
I love that man.

Speaker 5 (40:38):
He really was a delightful comedian.

Speaker 16 (40:41):
He really was.

Speaker 5 (40:43):
We go back Now, seventy three years September twenty eight,
nineteen fifty two. Although the whole Aldridge family really came
about through the great work of Ezra Stone and Jackie Kelk,
it survived ived long past the time that they were
portraying the roles of Henry Aldridge and Homer Brown. We're

(41:10):
going to now here Bobby Ellis as Henry Aldrich in
the final season of the show seventy three years ago,
September twenty eighth, nineteen fifty two.

Speaker 33 (41:27):
Henry Aldrich Coming Mother.

Speaker 25 (41:38):
Yes, it's the Aldrick Family. Written by Clipper Goldsman.

Speaker 34 (41:53):
There's no saying that claims you're only young ones, But
as a matter of fact, you can be young more
than once. The best way of doing that is to
share the misadventures of a typical boy like Henry Aldrich.
He'll take you right back to your own teenage days.
The scene is the living room of Nancy Adams, one
of Henry's favorite classmates, and the time is evening.

Speaker 25 (42:15):
Nancy, tell me, honestly, what is it you like about
Bill Turner?

Speaker 3 (42:19):
I don't know.

Speaker 23 (42:19):
Henry I just like him.

Speaker 25 (42:20):
Don't you sure he's all right? If you like athletes?

Speaker 23 (42:25):
What's the matter with athletes? Nothing except for so athletic?

Speaker 7 (42:30):
I mean.

Speaker 23 (42:31):
Well, to hear Bill Turner talk, you think he was
Joda Maggio, the Notre Dame football team and gorgeous George
all rolled into one. That's a loud Henry, he might
hear you.

Speaker 25 (42:39):
Who would you hear me? He's out in the front hall.
I like him only ranky.

Speaker 23 (42:44):
Is there any way of getting rid of him?

Speaker 7 (42:45):
Hear me?

Speaker 23 (42:46):
And you don't like it?

Speaker 25 (42:47):
Well, sure, I'm crazy about him. On Nancy, she whizz Nancy?

Speaker 23 (42:50):
Did I ever tell you about the time I dove
off the top of the boat house?

Speaker 35 (42:54):
Oh?

Speaker 31 (42:54):
Bill, I didn't even know anybody could climb up that high.

Speaker 25 (42:57):
It's easy.

Speaker 23 (42:58):
And you know that flag pole at the end of
the lake.

Speaker 25 (43:01):
Yes, I dove off that once too, Nancy. How's your mother?

Speaker 31 (43:05):
Oh she's better, Henry.

Speaker 23 (43:06):
She just strained her back.

Speaker 25 (43:07):
A little boy. Was that some luck I had in
the game Saturday?

Speaker 36 (43:10):
You remember when those three guys tackled me and I
carried them right across the gold for a touchdown.

Speaker 23 (43:15):
Oh that was just wonderful, Bill. I don't see how
you stood up?

Speaker 25 (43:18):
Nancy. What kind of a television set is this?

Speaker 31 (43:20):
I don't know, Henry.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Could you or Bill open this window a little?

Speaker 21 (43:23):
Sure?

Speaker 26 (43:23):
Why not?

Speaker 25 (43:24):
Wait a minute, Henry, I'll open it. Well, that's all right, Bill,
I've got it practically, practically.

Speaker 28 (43:31):
Is it stuck?

Speaker 25 (43:32):
Henry, No, it isn't stuck.

Speaker 13 (43:33):
I just.

Speaker 25 (43:36):
Why don't you stand back? Please?

Speaker 23 (43:37):
Bill?

Speaker 25 (43:39):
How am I in the way. I want to get
some leverage here, Henry.

Speaker 23 (43:43):
Let me show you how to open it. Now?

Speaker 25 (43:44):
Look, how Bill?

Speaker 23 (43:45):
All I have to do is Nancy, would you mind
if I pushed this sofa away? Henry, Well, don't get up.
I'll push you along along. Well, maybe if you just
got up for a second, Nancy, never mind the sofa.

Speaker 25 (44:02):
I'll just she was holding that window.

Speaker 14 (44:05):
I did.

Speaker 13 (44:08):
You know?

Speaker 25 (44:08):
I thought I had it started. I just should have
kept at it. Anything else you want done, Nancy.

Speaker 31 (44:12):
Well, there's some ginger ale out in the kitchen.

Speaker 28 (44:14):
If she is, I'll get it for you.

Speaker 21 (44:15):
Nancy.

Speaker 25 (44:16):
Here's the way you are.

Speaker 37 (44:17):
Bill.

Speaker 23 (44:17):
You're sure you don't need any help lifting the bottles.

Speaker 31 (44:20):
You'll find everything out there on a tray.

Speaker 26 (44:22):
Henry.

Speaker 31 (44:22):
All you have to do is put some ice in
the glasses.

Speaker 25 (44:25):
I'll be right back, Nancy. Isn't there any way of
getting rid of him this evening?

Speaker 31 (44:29):
Sure, Phil Henry Aldrich is one of the nicest.

Speaker 25 (44:32):
Nancy, I'm not saying he isn't. Only frankly, frankly, what well?

Speaker 36 (44:37):
Three is a crowd and Frankly, I have crowds cheering
for me every time I go out on the field.

Speaker 25 (44:42):
I want to be alone.

Speaker 33 (44:44):
Excuse me, Nancy, But is there any special way of
getting your ice trays loose?

Speaker 31 (44:49):
Well, my mother never has any trouble, Henry. All she
does is pull and they come right out.

Speaker 25 (44:53):
That's funny.

Speaker 23 (44:55):
I'll take another crack at it.

Speaker 25 (44:57):
Nice guy. I'd like to see him come out for
football practice afternoon.

Speaker 17 (45:00):
Bill.

Speaker 31 (45:01):
What did I tell you about sympathy and understanding?

Speaker 29 (45:04):
Oh?

Speaker 36 (45:04):
I understand, Henry. That's why I have no sympathy for her.
I'm gonna forget about him. What about that dance Friday night?

Speaker 21 (45:11):
What about it?

Speaker 22 (45:11):
Well?

Speaker 23 (45:11):
What time should I What time should I? You know
he's going to wreck your refrigerator? What time should I
called for you?

Speaker 27 (45:22):
Oh?

Speaker 28 (45:33):
Yes, mother?

Speaker 17 (45:34):
Those boys playing football down there?

Speaker 31 (45:38):
No, mother, Henry's getting some eyes.

Speaker 23 (45:41):
I'll pick everything up Nancy, does your father have a
hammer I could use with a screwdriver?

Speaker 25 (45:45):
Or a small crowbar would be even better.

Speaker 31 (45:47):
Henry, what's that all over your sue?

Speaker 23 (45:49):
It's well, you see, I was aiming for the ice cubes.
But was your mother planning to have tomato a juice
for dinner? There's a freshly open can in the ice box.
Oh my goodness, of course that they're going out for dinner.
It'll keep the tomorrow's lunch.

Speaker 25 (46:03):
Out of the way. Henry.

Speaker 23 (46:04):
I'll get the ice out.

Speaker 25 (46:05):
Now, wait a second, Bill, you'll need something to loosen
it with.

Speaker 23 (46:07):
What's the matter with my hands?

Speaker 25 (46:11):
Some guys sure love to brag. Why if Bill Turner.

Speaker 14 (46:16):
On the floor.

Speaker 25 (46:18):
I just took it out so I could get better.

Speaker 23 (46:20):
Leverage, Nancy, will one tray of ice free enough?

Speaker 8 (46:24):
See?

Speaker 36 (46:24):
I loosened it that much, Nancy, I don't think you'll
feel the same way about you.

Speaker 21 (46:28):
Know who?

Speaker 25 (46:29):
Once you get a look at your mother's kitchen, they
think I better be going.

Speaker 23 (46:32):
Oh, Henry, do you have to Well?

Speaker 25 (46:34):
I've got a lot of homework to do, and I
think I better don't you well?

Speaker 3 (46:38):
If you have to?

Speaker 25 (46:40):
I I had a very swell evening though, Oh, I'm.

Speaker 31 (46:42):
Will say glad, Henry, Well, so long you really have
to go?

Speaker 25 (46:47):
I think I better all would your mind clothing that door?

Speaker 23 (46:50):
The coach told me to keep out of brass?

Speaker 21 (46:52):
Oh?

Speaker 23 (46:53):
Sure, I didn't realize I was keeping the door open.

Speaker 25 (46:57):
What time should I call for you? Friday evening?

Speaker 17 (47:00):
Friday evening?

Speaker 25 (47:01):
Sure for the dance, Henry.

Speaker 23 (47:03):
I didn't promise to go with you, did I?

Speaker 25 (47:06):
Why? Sure?

Speaker 21 (47:06):
Why?

Speaker 25 (47:07):
Sure you didn't.

Speaker 31 (47:09):
I don't see how I could have.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
I'm going with Bill?

Speaker 25 (47:12):
Oh with Bill?

Speaker 31 (47:14):
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Henry. I guess you must have
misunderstood that door.

Speaker 25 (47:19):
I'll walk you out to the porch. No, you go
back and have your ginger ale. I can find my way,
all right.

Speaker 23 (47:23):
I hope you understand, Henry.

Speaker 8 (47:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 25 (47:25):
Oh, sure, you and Bill just go ahead and enjoy yourselves.

Speaker 23 (47:39):
Sam, could you pass the toes please?

Speaker 37 (47:41):
Here you are, dear. Why didn't Nry go to the dance?

Speaker 21 (47:44):
Well?

Speaker 30 (47:45):
Yeah, that's what I don't know. Do you remember the
other evening when he came home from Nancy Adams soaking wet?
When last week there a couple of nights before the dance,
he walked into the house covered with tomato juwics and
Sam Henry hasn't been himself since then?

Speaker 37 (47:59):
Did you have a him?

Speaker 21 (48:00):
Yes?

Speaker 30 (48:01):
And all he'd say was he felt dancing was a
waste of time. Mother, Mary, come in here and eat
your breakfast.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
Mother, what's this letter all about?

Speaker 25 (48:09):
What letter?

Speaker 21 (48:10):
Hi?

Speaker 31 (48:10):
It's the silliest thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 23 (48:12):
It must be for father?

Speaker 37 (48:14):
May I see it?

Speaker 8 (48:14):
Please?

Speaker 23 (48:15):
Who's it from?

Speaker 21 (48:16):
Then?

Speaker 38 (48:17):
From the Lionel strong Ford Institute of Physical Development incorporated.

Speaker 37 (48:23):
There, mister al Rich, are you a man or a mouse?

Speaker 31 (48:28):
Find you all the time?

Speaker 39 (48:29):
It wasn't for me?

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 37 (48:31):
No man can make his mark in the world.

Speaker 38 (48:33):
No man can inspire the love of a good woman
unless he is willing to develop his inner potential strength
in our twenty six week course.

Speaker 25 (48:42):
Say what in the world is that?

Speaker 37 (48:44):
I don't know, Alice, but I'm fascinated.

Speaker 38 (48:46):
We can give you a money back guarantee if your
chest expansion does not increase by at least two inches
during the first six lessons.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Row many inches?

Speaker 16 (48:55):
Father?

Speaker 38 (48:56):
Be quiet, Mary, that's just the first six lessons. We
also offer a shorter course for the busy executive interested.

Speaker 37 (49:04):
In only partial development. Remember beside now yours truly?

Speaker 38 (49:08):
Father, what's that yes, replied by a return mail and
receive free one genuine simulated nylon tape measure.

Speaker 37 (49:17):
Especially desired for checking your chest development.

Speaker 23 (49:22):
Here When did you write for that?

Speaker 37 (49:24):
May I see the envelope?

Speaker 7 (49:25):
Please?

Speaker 31 (49:26):
Father, it's addressed to mister Harold all Rich.

Speaker 7 (49:28):
Who's he?

Speaker 37 (49:30):
I have no idea whether he's a man or a mouse?

Speaker 40 (49:32):
Well, put the letter back in the envelope, please, it's
probably for Henry.

Speaker 31 (49:36):
Mother, why would he want to develop?

Speaker 30 (49:38):
I don't know, dear, And besides it's none of our business.
Please put it back in the envelope.

Speaker 37 (49:43):
Well, well, I think I'll walk to the office this morning.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
What's tame?

Speaker 23 (49:49):
You haven't walked to the office in six years?

Speaker 8 (49:52):
Of course I have.

Speaker 37 (49:53):
I walked to a couple of times Justice last summer.
It made me feel great.

Speaker 31 (49:57):
I'll get your top coat for you.

Speaker 25 (49:58):
Fast the coat?

Speaker 37 (49:59):
Why would I I want a coat?

Speaker 17 (50:01):
At least get your hat?

Speaker 25 (50:02):
Good Bye, good bye, baby bye, goodbye.

Speaker 21 (50:06):
Mother.

Speaker 25 (50:06):
Do you have any idea where my blue and white
tie is?

Speaker 23 (50:08):
You're a blue and white tie? No, dear, I sit
down and eat your break.

Speaker 25 (50:11):
But mother, I've got to find it.

Speaker 23 (50:13):
There'll be plenty of time to find it after you've beaten.

Speaker 25 (50:16):
Turn around. What's matter?

Speaker 23 (50:18):
I think you want to have those shoulders on that
coat taken in, a little.

Speaker 25 (50:21):
Taking in, mother, you just want to throw your money away.

Speaker 23 (50:23):
They'll be filled out in twenty six, I mean before
you know it, Henry, dear, please sit down. I want
to ask you something. What about What in the world
is the trouble?

Speaker 25 (50:33):
The trouble? The trouble?

Speaker 3 (50:35):
She wish.

Speaker 25 (50:35):
I don't know have any trouble, but you.

Speaker 23 (50:36):
Want yourself, dear, and when anyone speaks to you, you're
way up in the air.

Speaker 8 (50:41):
Mother.

Speaker 23 (50:41):
I may be a little upset because I can't find
my blue and white tie, but otherwise I feel fine.
Then why not eat your breakfast?

Speaker 25 (50:47):
I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it.

Speaker 23 (50:49):
How is Nancy Adams these days?

Speaker 25 (50:52):
Nancy Adams? Mother?

Speaker 23 (50:54):
Well, I asked, is holl is she?

Speaker 25 (50:56):
You see this book here?

Speaker 13 (50:57):
Mother?

Speaker 25 (50:57):
You see this book?

Speaker 10 (50:58):
Yes?

Speaker 23 (50:59):
Well, that gives you an idea of what little interest
I have in Nancy Adams. What about the book? I
borrowed it from her two weeks ago. Well, I'm returning
I'm returning it. I'm returning it.

Speaker 25 (51:07):
That's all.

Speaker 23 (51:08):
That's as far as I go. She asked me whether
i'd like to keep it and finish it. I'll tell
her I'm not even slightly interested. Oh that's fine, and
I'll drink your milk.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
You know what?

Speaker 25 (51:16):
Else?

Speaker 21 (51:16):
What?

Speaker 25 (51:17):
That's all right? Never mind?

Speaker 23 (51:18):
But if her folks can't afford a better ice box
and the one they have, she was you like Bill Turner?

Speaker 25 (51:23):
Bill Turner, I hardly know him. She is he got
a lot to learn. He just goes around, you know
what he thinks?

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Henry?

Speaker 31 (51:29):
What's your ambition in life?

Speaker 25 (51:32):
My ambition? Mary?

Speaker 8 (51:32):
What do you mean?

Speaker 20 (51:33):
That's all?

Speaker 31 (51:34):
I just wondered whether you wanted to be a man
or a mouse?

Speaker 25 (51:37):
Mary, I haven't any time for small talk. If you
see my blue and white tie.

Speaker 31 (51:41):
No, but I'd love to see your chest extension.

Speaker 28 (51:43):
I'm Mary, but mother.

Speaker 31 (51:46):
All I was going to ask him was if he
was going to take the short course of the twenty
sixth week court.

Speaker 23 (51:50):
Mary, will you please give Henry that letter?

Speaker 25 (51:53):
A letter?

Speaker 23 (51:53):
I don't think it's for you, though, Henry, Mary, give
me that letter?

Speaker 21 (51:56):
Are you?

Speaker 17 (51:57):
Mister Harold Algrey?

Speaker 23 (51:58):
Marry? You come back with a few realize that the
United States.

Speaker 17 (52:01):
May right on the envelope, may be open for inspection.

Speaker 25 (52:05):
Mary.

Speaker 23 (52:05):
If you don't give me that, oh, we won't break anything.

Speaker 31 (52:10):
I'm just helping Henry develop novel.

Speaker 23 (52:12):
Listen, Mary, you're only going to make me late for school.

Speaker 31 (52:15):
You want to take it with you and show it
to Nancy Adams.

Speaker 23 (52:18):
Mary, if you breathe one word about this the herrow, Mary, Mary,
come back down here with that. Who are you writing, Henry?

Speaker 21 (52:37):
Henry?

Speaker 23 (52:39):
What are you doing?

Speaker 25 (52:40):
Homer?

Speaker 23 (52:41):
Is there a class in this room next period?

Speaker 7 (52:43):
Sure?

Speaker 17 (52:44):
Henry?

Speaker 23 (52:44):
What are all those questions you're filling out? Nothing, Homer,
nothing important. It's just some information I've got to send away.
Could you measure my chest just once more?

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Please?

Speaker 23 (52:54):
It's pretty hard with this ruler.

Speaker 25 (52:56):
Well, well, just go around me real slow.

Speaker 23 (53:02):
It's exactly two and a quarter two and a quarter
two and a quarter rulers. That's uh, twenty seven inches,
twenty seven inches for my chest. Don't you think I
better take off a half inch for where I went
around the corner. The only thing is, Homer, my thigh
was twenty seven too. You mean my thigh is as

(53:23):
big as my chest? It is with Homer, I don't
want to mislead anymore. Listen, Henry, what is it you're
sending for nothing, Homer, g you is why would I
do you know whether Nancy Adams has a class in
you next period?

Speaker 26 (53:34):
Sure?

Speaker 23 (53:36):
I thought you were ignoring her.

Speaker 26 (53:37):
We am.

Speaker 23 (53:37):
That's why I'm waiting to return this book.

Speaker 25 (53:40):
When I hand it to her, it's going to end everything.

Speaker 23 (53:42):
Let me see that letter just for a second, will you,
Henry Homer? Don't you see what's printed right at the
top of it strictly confidential? What is that question at
the bottom?

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Mean?

Speaker 25 (53:51):
What question?

Speaker 7 (53:52):
Do you have?

Speaker 23 (53:52):
Flat feet? I'll listen, Homer. That just shows how your
imagination works. Well, what did it say?

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Then?

Speaker 25 (53:59):
She quiet?

Speaker 14 (53:59):
Homer.

Speaker 25 (54:00):
Watson just came into the room, Miss Watson.

Speaker 40 (54:02):
Well, boy, as you said me, look busy we are,
Miss Watson, you're working on your biology.

Speaker 23 (54:08):
Well you know where we are.

Speaker 41 (54:10):
Wait now, isn't that fine? You know we're going to
start working on mice next week. We are on mice,
and we're going to compare their development with that of man.

Speaker 25 (54:22):
What's that?

Speaker 23 (54:24):
Come on, Henry, that's the end of the period. There's
a clans coming in, Henry. What are you doing in here?

Speaker 37 (54:29):
Well?

Speaker 25 (54:30):
Well, and Nancy, I've been waiting, I've been I've been
filling out.

Speaker 23 (54:34):
I've been Henry. You're getting ink all over yourself. Here's
a blotterer. Well, Nancy, I just wanted to tell you
how much I enjoyed this book.

Speaker 31 (54:43):
Oh, I'm awfully glad you returned at Henry, because Bill
Turner is anxious to get it.

Speaker 21 (54:47):
He is.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Are you sure you're through with it?

Speaker 25 (54:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 23 (54:50):
After all, even if I weren't through with it, naturally,
if Bill wants the book? Where have you been for
the last week? Just around every place?

Speaker 25 (54:58):
Hey, Hanry, come on you, I had Homer, and.

Speaker 23 (55:00):
I may be held up here a second. Why, Oh,
you better go, Henry.

Speaker 8 (55:04):
Here.

Speaker 23 (55:05):
I just wanted to tell you, though, how much I
enjoyed your book. Don't you have a class this period? Yes,
miss Watson, I'm on my way right this minute. Good Bye, Henry, goodbye.
William means he a good looking girl, Henry. Do you
think she's so good looking? I think she's terrific. Well,
the way I.

Speaker 25 (55:22):
Think of her, she's good looking.

Speaker 23 (55:23):
But I wouldn't ever want to let me have a
look at that letter, will you? What about your flat feet?

Speaker 8 (55:28):
Now?

Speaker 25 (55:28):
Homer? List Homer? Where is that letter?

Speaker 23 (55:33):
I haven't got it. I put it in this Latin book.
I put it right here in the abbolative absolute section. Well,
don't look at me. I didn't even touch your letter.
Do you suppose I put it in Nancy's book?

Speaker 3 (55:44):
You did?

Speaker 23 (55:45):
Well, why would she be interested in your flat feet?
I didn't know I put them there? I mean the
letter there.

Speaker 25 (55:51):
I was just talking to her.

Speaker 23 (55:52):
I may have just got it in there. Well, Homer,
got to get that letter. Why I think I want
a thing like that to be read publicly by Nancy. Well,
you certainly can't get it now, Henry, if they haven't
started class yet. Well, I'm not going in with you.
I don't want the whole class to look at me.
Quiet Homer, going back in and get that letter.

Speaker 40 (56:08):
When you all get your pencils, please beg your pardon,
Henry Aldrich says, something we can.

Speaker 13 (56:14):
Do for you.

Speaker 23 (56:15):
Why, miss Watson, I'm sorry to interrupt your lesson like this,
but I just returned Nancy to a book.

Speaker 25 (56:23):
I mean, I mean the Nancy's desk has something in it.

Speaker 23 (56:25):
I'd like one. I mean, what is it anything you
can't do without for the rest of the period.

Speaker 25 (56:31):
Well, yes, ma'am, I just have to have it. Well,
don't take more than a second. You may go to
a desk and get it. Thank you, Miss Watson.

Speaker 40 (56:38):
In the meantime, will all of you be copying what's
written on the board here.

Speaker 25 (56:47):
Nancy, Henry, what on earth is it you want? I'd
like to borrow that book again.

Speaker 31 (56:51):
You didn't have to come all the way back into
class and embarrassment.

Speaker 25 (56:54):
I just happen to remember I haven't finished it.

Speaker 42 (56:57):
Said you like, I don't know how when you hurried? Please, yes,
Miss Watson, thanks very much, Henry. May I ask what book?

Speaker 25 (57:07):
That is this book I just got from Nancy? Yes,
it's just the book.

Speaker 23 (57:13):
What is the title?

Speaker 25 (57:16):
Reader's Revenge? And that is the book you were in
so much of a hurry to get. Well, I'll tell you,
isn't the story.

Speaker 23 (57:25):
I'm so anxious to the book?

Speaker 25 (57:26):
Please, the whole book, the whole book. Wouldn't I take
just one look?

Speaker 23 (57:33):
Please don't open it?

Speaker 21 (57:34):
No?

Speaker 23 (57:34):
May I have it?

Speaker 3 (57:35):
Please?

Speaker 25 (57:36):
Yes, Miss Watson.

Speaker 40 (57:37):
And I should like to see Nancy Adams immediately after class,
Miss Watson, when you please read this classroom?

Speaker 25 (57:45):
Yes, Miss Watson, I'll go. We'll come back to the
Aldrich family in just a moment.

Speaker 34 (58:04):
Sundays on this station are really full of top radio shows,
but I'd like to tell you about just one of them.
Theatre Guild on the Air. The seven Seasons, the Theater
Guild has been bringing you the brightest stars of Broadway
in Hollywood and some of the world's greatest plays. Tonight,
the comedy attraction is Ring Lardner's baseball story Elmer the Great.
Your stars are Eddie Bracken and Wanda Hendrix.

Speaker 13 (58:26):
Now.

Speaker 34 (58:26):
The play concerns Elma Cain, a pitcher with the best
right arm in the three High League, but a brain
which has failed to vibrate with a clear thought since birth.
Elma refuses to leave Gentryville, Illinois for the big League
because he's in love with Nellie Pool, owner of the
grocery where he drives the delivery wagon.

Speaker 25 (58:43):
But Nellie guesses his secret and fires Elma.

Speaker 37 (58:46):
Well.

Speaker 25 (58:46):
From then on, it's all Ring Lardna fun.

Speaker 34 (58:48):
So check your newspaper for broadcast times and tune to
NBC tonight for Theater Guild on the Air. You'll enjoy
Elmer the Great. And Now getting back to the troubles

(59:09):
of Henry Aldridge. Henry has decided that he needs a
course in physical development. After filling out the rather intimate
questions on the application blank. He discovers that he has
left the blank and a book belonging to Nancy Addams.
The scene opens in Henry's school at the close of
a period.

Speaker 23 (59:26):
Listen, Henry, this will make two classes I've missed just because.

Speaker 25 (59:29):
Of you, Homer.

Speaker 23 (59:30):
All you have to do is just walk up to
miss Watson's desk there, pick up Nancy's book, and walk.

Speaker 7 (59:35):
Out with it.

Speaker 25 (59:36):
It's as easy as pie.

Speaker 23 (59:37):
Are you sure? Miss Watson isn't in there?

Speaker 25 (59:40):
No one's in there. There is no soul in there.

Speaker 23 (59:41):
Now, you like pie, why don't you go in and
get it?

Speaker 25 (59:46):
Well, she was, Homer. I was going to stand here
in the door and keep watch for you.

Speaker 23 (59:49):
Well, if anyone does come along, Henry, give me a
signal clear your throat. Sure, I'll sort of cough. Okay,
I'll go.

Speaker 25 (59:59):
That's it. Just walk right up as though you own
the place. Which book is it the when your hand
is on this, isn't it?

Speaker 7 (01:00:07):
Sure it is?

Speaker 25 (01:00:08):
Isn't that book blue?

Speaker 21 (01:00:09):
Sure?

Speaker 25 (01:00:09):
But it's the advanced essence of poetry? It must be
their Homer? All right, wait a second, I'll close the door.
Part way.

Speaker 13 (01:00:19):
Home.

Speaker 23 (01:00:20):
I'm almost positive. Miss Watson didn't take it with her
all right, shut to me, did she? It's a book
with a blue cover, blue cover? Oh this must be it, yes,
miss Watson, hen me, someone's out in the hall.

Speaker 25 (01:00:33):
We cover, doc, Have you got it? Where are we done?

Speaker 23 (01:00:35):
Get down every side our desk. Did they come in, Henry, No,
they just closed the door. Well, come on, let's get
out of feeling.

Speaker 25 (01:00:43):
That's so fast, Homer, wait until I've gone down the hall.

Speaker 23 (01:00:45):
But Henry, I've got to get to my next class. Wyatt,
open the door easy, I'm going.

Speaker 21 (01:00:51):
To It.

Speaker 23 (01:00:55):
Must be stuck. Let me try it, Henry, this is
all your fault. Don't get panicky, Homer. We'll get it open.
Oh it's locked.

Speaker 25 (01:01:05):
You were crazy. Why wouldn't pretty lock a door in
broad daylight? All we have to do is throw ourselves
against it.

Speaker 23 (01:01:15):
Okay, one, two, three?

Speaker 25 (01:01:21):
Don't just stand their home?

Speaker 8 (01:01:22):
Help me up.

Speaker 25 (01:01:25):
I guess they locked it all right?

Speaker 23 (01:01:26):
You mean we're locked in and I can't get to
solid geometry. Well, at least they didn't see us, Homer.
But Henry, I'm weak in geometry as it is.

Speaker 25 (01:01:34):
Well, well, all we have to do is climb out
that window.

Speaker 23 (01:01:37):
But what good a luck do all the way up
on the third floor.

Speaker 25 (01:01:40):
Homer, stop arguing, give me that book and let's go.

Speaker 40 (01:01:49):
Nancy, could you take these keys down to the main office, please, Yes,
Miss Watson, and Nancy, if you're quite sure you won't.

Speaker 14 (01:01:56):
Let this book interfere with your studies anymore, you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
May have it.

Speaker 25 (01:01:59):
Yes, Miss Watson, I'm sorry you let Henry Aldrich have it.

Speaker 40 (01:02:02):
After all, he has much more important things to attend
to than Rita's revenge.

Speaker 23 (01:02:07):
Yes, Miss Watson, he's a very nice boy, Nancy, least
hears his good points.

Speaker 40 (01:02:12):
But I do wish you'd become more interested in someone
who takes things just a bit more seriously than Henry does.

Speaker 23 (01:02:18):
Yes, Miss Quatson, be careful, Homer. Do you want to
knock me off this fire escape? Well, gee whiz, Henry,

(01:02:38):
we have to get all of you somehow. Don't you
realize this fire escape goes right past all the second
floor classrooms and never goes below the second floor. And
keep quiet, Henry, suppose somebody should see us out here.
Let's close the window now, quiet now, Henry, be quiet.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
That's it.

Speaker 23 (01:02:55):
Make all the noise you can. All we have to
do now is go up the fire, escape to the room,
and then I suppose we just jump off.

Speaker 25 (01:03:02):
It's bound to lead to something. Homer. Come on, have
you got Nancy's book? Sure? Here, take it. Here's my
letter in it. I don't know, hey, Homer, what this
is in Nancy's book?

Speaker 21 (01:03:13):
She was.

Speaker 25 (01:03:13):
This is miss Watson's report book, a report book. What
made you think my letter would.

Speaker 28 (01:03:17):
Be inside this?

Speaker 23 (01:03:18):
You said, Blue, So I grabbed Bloom.

Speaker 25 (01:03:22):
You should have looked, Homer.

Speaker 23 (01:03:24):
Boy, if we get caught with this, we could even
we could even be expelled just for having a report book. Sure, well,
you can be the one that takes it back, Henry.
All we have to do is open the window and
be sure no one's in there.

Speaker 25 (01:03:36):
Henry, no one's in there?

Speaker 23 (01:03:39):
She lift, Henry, I.

Speaker 25 (01:03:41):
Am lifting, Homer. Blue backs hit and get some leverage.

Speaker 23 (01:03:45):
What's the matter, Henry?

Speaker 25 (01:03:46):
Are you weak?

Speaker 21 (01:03:47):
Well? She was?

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Maybe I do need.

Speaker 25 (01:03:49):
Wouldn't you think I could at least open a window
when it's an emergency?

Speaker 23 (01:03:52):
Boy, you're really in a fix. You've got Miss Watson's
reports and Nancy's got your measurements.

Speaker 25 (01:03:57):
Sure, and probably by this time Nancy's read a whole thing.
Come on, but we've got to get off this virus gape?

Speaker 8 (01:04:05):
Why what are you doing up there?

Speaker 23 (01:04:07):
Who is it? Henry?

Speaker 8 (01:04:09):
What are you doing up there?

Speaker 25 (01:04:11):
It's mister Bradley. He's down in the courtyard.

Speaker 21 (01:04:13):
Boy right.

Speaker 23 (01:04:16):
We just kind of open a window, mister Bradley. Don't
you know the rules about going out in the pirate state?
Are there any special rules?

Speaker 8 (01:04:23):
Mister Bradley?

Speaker 25 (01:04:24):
Why are me Henry.

Speaker 8 (01:04:28):
Aldride?

Speaker 21 (01:04:29):
Oh?

Speaker 23 (01:04:30):
Homer Brown, Oh, Henry and Homer All and Brown.

Speaker 8 (01:04:37):
Yes, sir, r state and hoot and my office at one, yes, sir?

Speaker 33 (01:04:45):
How would you like to have us get there? Mister
Bradley anyway you care? The only trouble is, mister Bradley, nothing,
We'll get down.

Speaker 25 (01:05:10):
And how long have you been a student in this school?

Speaker 8 (01:05:12):
Young man?

Speaker 25 (01:05:13):
About three years, mister Bradley, and this other young man.

Speaker 23 (01:05:17):
About three and a half, mister Bradley. But that was
on a coup of the months, right on top of
the measles.

Speaker 43 (01:05:22):
I see, and you both know those fire escapes were
placed there for emergency use only.

Speaker 25 (01:05:29):
Well, the fact is, mister Bradley, it wasn't enough that
you were out on a fire escape.

Speaker 43 (01:05:33):
You climbed in a window and broke right into the
middle of Professor vander Hoff's French class.

Speaker 23 (01:05:38):
Well, you see, mister Bradley, was the only way we
could get off the fire escape. Professor vander Hoff's window
was opening over.

Speaker 25 (01:05:44):
Must you lean on my desk?

Speaker 23 (01:05:46):
No, sir, excuse me, I thought you were through with us.

Speaker 43 (01:05:49):
I don't know whatever gave you that impression.

Speaker 25 (01:05:52):
Excuse me, Bradley or Bill Turner, aren't you Yes, I'm
the one who carried three men over our goal Saturday.

Speaker 37 (01:06:00):
And what were you sent in here for?

Speaker 8 (01:06:02):
Well?

Speaker 36 (01:06:02):
I suppose I shouldn't have been reading this book during
study hour, mister Bradley.

Speaker 23 (01:06:06):
What's the type of reader's revenge?

Speaker 43 (01:06:10):
Reads HER's revenge? I see, Henry, Yes, mister Bradley. What
do you think of a boy who would spend his
time reading a book like that?

Speaker 25 (01:06:18):
Well, I guess it's pretty bad, mister Bradley, That's what
I say.

Speaker 37 (01:06:22):
I see.

Speaker 8 (01:06:24):
Do you know what I think?

Speaker 25 (01:06:25):
All three of you boys need no sense.

Speaker 37 (01:06:29):
Suppose you wait here, all of you.

Speaker 25 (01:06:31):
While I step out and get your record. Yes, sir Bill,
what did you get that book from Nancy? And what
business is it of yours? Listen? Bill?

Speaker 23 (01:06:39):
Could I borrow for a second Nancy's book. All I
want to do is take it for just one second.

Speaker 21 (01:06:43):
I just want to.

Speaker 25 (01:06:45):
I just want to. Can't she either let me look
at it? Keep your hands off, let me have that people.

Speaker 23 (01:06:49):
Wait, do you hear me?

Speaker 25 (01:06:50):
Hey, Henry, look at what got out of it?

Speaker 23 (01:06:52):
There's your letter right on the floor, you wiz, Bill Turner.
You take your foot off that?

Speaker 25 (01:06:56):
You make me?

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
Do you hear me?

Speaker 23 (01:06:58):
Take your foot off that letter?

Speaker 24 (01:07:00):
Hen me?

Speaker 14 (01:07:00):
Somebody's coming.

Speaker 21 (01:07:01):
I don't care.

Speaker 23 (01:07:04):
Hello, Nancy, close the door.

Speaker 25 (01:07:07):
Let oh my leg all Rich you left your leg?

Speaker 21 (01:07:09):
Do you hear me?

Speaker 14 (01:07:10):
Left me?

Speaker 20 (01:07:11):
I stop?

Speaker 23 (01:07:13):
Lift his leg, Henry, I need more leverage. You're twisting
my head. Yeah, you stop that?

Speaker 13 (01:07:22):
Do you bro.

Speaker 25 (01:07:25):
There?

Speaker 21 (01:07:26):
Henry?

Speaker 25 (01:07:26):
Gee, Henry, you knocked him out? Oh you lifted him
right off the floor.

Speaker 8 (01:07:32):
What happened?

Speaker 31 (01:07:33):
He's all right, Henry, picking up before mister.

Speaker 23 (01:07:35):
Bradley comes in, Come on home. Let's let him out
of the couch. Listen, Aldris, Why didn't you hit me with.

Speaker 25 (01:07:43):
I just choose my bare hands, didn't I? Nancy?

Speaker 23 (01:07:46):
Oh?

Speaker 25 (01:07:46):
Then, young man Turner, did anyone invite you to lie
down on that pouch? Oh, mister Bradley, I'll help him up,
mister Bradley. Don't you think he can get off himself? Well,
I'm up.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
Well, young lady.

Speaker 31 (01:08:03):
Miss Watson asked me to bring her keys down here.

Speaker 37 (01:08:05):
I'll take them in one moment.

Speaker 25 (01:08:07):
Turner, Here's what I want you to do.

Speaker 43 (01:08:08):
I want you to spend a part of each lunch
hour for the next ten days picking up the papers
and the coroners.

Speaker 8 (01:08:14):
Of this building.

Speaker 25 (01:08:16):
On all three floors, on all three floors. And asbra oh,
how did miss Watson's report book get here?

Speaker 8 (01:08:24):
On my desk?

Speaker 23 (01:08:25):
On your desk, mister Bradley.

Speaker 25 (01:08:26):
Fancy would you see that she gets it back? Yes, sir,
now then Aldridge and Brow, Yes, mister Bradley. Yes, mister Bradley,
I'm sending you to the gym instructor.

Speaker 43 (01:08:36):
He needs a couple of huskies like you two to
help him move the steel lockers move.

Speaker 23 (01:08:41):
Yeah, aren't there quite a few, mister Bradley.

Speaker 37 (01:08:46):
Three hundred and fifty.

Speaker 25 (01:08:48):
It will take every afternoon for the next two weeks.
She whish that's all right home. You heard what mister
Bradley said.

Speaker 23 (01:08:55):
They need a couple of huskies like you and me.

Speaker 37 (01:08:58):
Aldridge, what's that you're tearing up?

Speaker 25 (01:09:00):
Nothing?

Speaker 23 (01:09:01):
It's just sort of a letter. I've decided I won't
need any more.

Speaker 34 (01:09:11):
I radar network to detect the approach of planes can't
do the entire job of protecting our country from a
devastating surprise air attack.

Speaker 25 (01:09:18):
That's up to us as individual citizens.

Speaker 34 (01:09:21):
Right now, the Air Defense Command needs three hundred thousand
more volunteers for its Ground Observer Corps. Both men and
women from teenage up can contribute a few hours of
their time each week and perform a valuable service to
our country.

Speaker 25 (01:09:34):
Write upon your nearest civil Defense center a.

Speaker 34 (01:09:36):
Right to Ground Observer Corps Air Force Washington, twenty five DC,
gee Ochey.

Speaker 23 (01:09:54):
Look at that window.

Speaker 25 (01:09:56):
That's what I mean, Nancy. No matter what I touch
these days, it crumost write my hands.

Speaker 34 (01:10:05):
The Aldrich Family has written by Clevin Goldsmith. Henry is
played by Bobby Ellison, Homer by Johnny Bidler, Mister and
Missus Aldrich a House Jamison and Katherine Row.

Speaker 37 (01:10:14):
Announcers Dick Dudley.

Speaker 34 (01:10:18):
Listen to Guy next week's same time, same station for
another sparkling half hour with the Aldridge Family.

Speaker 8 (01:10:24):
Not Everybody.

Speaker 5 (01:10:25):
Seventy three years ago, September twenty eighth, nineteen fifty two,
The Aldrich Family here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt
Cox Don't forget that. Coming up on Tuesday, we will
have our special podcast which will be the Last Days

(01:10:46):
of radio, the old time radio shows Suspense and Yours
Truly Johnny Dollar's final shows sixty three years ago coming
up on Tuesday. But we'll also have a regular podcast
including Tomorrow Yours Truly, Johnny Valler and Suspense from nineteen
fifty seven, Wanted from nineteen fifty The Whistler from nineteen

(01:11:07):
forty eight, and the return of Claudia who will be
with us five days a week for the foreseeable future.
Tomorrow we will have Westerns Gun Smoking Port Tuesday, I
should say Westerns Gun Smoking Port Laramie from nineteen fifty six,
and Melody Ranch and Tales of the Texas Rangers from

(01:11:27):
nineteen fifty on Wednesday. From nineteen thirty nine, The Shadow
and the Night Marauders William Johnstone starring as the Shadow,
The Adventures of Philip Marlow's starring Gerald Moore from nineteen
forty nine, The Tale of the Mermaid Herbert Marshall is
the Man called X from nineteen fifty one. Invitation to
a Murder and The Numbers Murderer from nineteen forty four

(01:11:51):
with Nick Carter, Master Detectives starring Lawn Clark. Comedies on
Thursday with Pepper, Migie and Molly, The Great Guilder Sleeve,
Phil Harris and Alis Fae and r Miss Brooks on Friday,
John Stanley and Alfred Shirley in the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes,
Nick Carter back again from nineteen forty three, Counterspy from

(01:12:13):
nineteen forty nine, and Orson Wells in The Queen of
Spades an episode of Theatre Royal from nineteen fifty three.
Wells will be back with us again on Saturday with
an episode of the Lives of Harry Lyme, an Operation
Music Box from nineteen fifty one, Jack Webbin Dragging It
from nineteen fifty and The Big thirty eight fil advanced,

(01:12:35):
Jackson Beck in The Bulletin Murder Case from nineteen forty eight,
and The Librarian, an episode of Frontier Gentlemen starring John
Daynerd from nineteen fifty eight. A week from Today, more
Comedy with Dems Taylor as the guest of the Weird
and Wacky Panel, and It Pays to be Ignorant from

(01:12:55):
nineteen forty four and Armed Forces recording Stan Freeberg from
nineteen fifty seven. Jack Benny from nineteen fifty six is
a forty six rather as Jack meets Dennis's Mom and
Harold Perry as the Great Guildersley. That's all coming up
the week ahead here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt
Cocks up next another comedy, and that will be Robert Young,

(01:13:19):
Father Knows Best.

Speaker 15 (01:13:26):
Learn and Live through Civil Defense.

Speaker 19 (01:13:29):
This is Mitzy Gainer during wartime, quick accurate information is
vital to the public. ConL rad radio broadcasts at six
forty or twelve forty will be your only official means
of information in an attack. Tune to six forty or
twelve forty on your radio now.

Speaker 5 (01:13:49):
An episode of Father Knows Best starring Robert Young, who
was the only character from Father Knows Best to carry
over from radio to television. This goes back seventy five
years ago September twenty eighth, nineteen fifty I think Bud
has a new girlfriend.

Speaker 7 (01:14:05):
Mother.

Speaker 17 (01:14:06):
Is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world.

Speaker 3 (01:14:10):
When your father says so and your father knows best.

Speaker 26 (01:14:24):
Yes, it's Father Knows Best.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father. A half hour
visit with your neighbors, The Andersons, brought to you by
Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more
people than any other brand of coffee at any price.
Maxwell House always good to the last drop. Slap a

(01:14:56):
bunch of poets together, and at least one thing is
bound to emerge a new definition of love. In one
of his flossier moments, Shakespeare wrote, love is a smoke
grazed with a fume of size, which is very nice
if you go in for that sort of thing. The
mess Ther's Thurber and White, on the other hand, viewed
the emotion with a more practical eye. Love, they said,

(01:15:18):
is the strange bewilderment which overtakes one person on account
of another person in Springfield, in the white frame house
on Maple Street, the Andersons probably have ideas of their
own on this ethereal subject, like well, like this, I
think I'll have a little more rice. Would you mind
passing it?

Speaker 26 (01:15:36):
Betty?

Speaker 14 (01:15:36):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
Father, Jim, Honey, let's not start that business about rice
being fattening. It isn't well.

Speaker 3 (01:15:43):
You were the one who said that your waist.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Margaret rice is not fattening. It's the stuff you put
on it, like butter. Put butter on anything, it's fattening.
But have you ever seen me put butter on my rice?

Speaker 6 (01:15:53):
No, dear, darn right, you haven't. Pathy.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Please pass the gravy. Here you are, daddy, now that
you mention it, what's wrong with my waistline? I haven't
gained a pound in twenty years?

Speaker 7 (01:16:08):
What was that?

Speaker 6 (01:16:09):
Well, maybe two pounds, daddy?

Speaker 21 (01:16:13):
Look at bye?

Speaker 44 (01:16:14):
Why I've been looking at him for fifteen years?

Speaker 17 (01:16:17):
He is needing his dinner.

Speaker 6 (01:16:19):
Well, maybe he's got problems, Bud, bud, Yes.

Speaker 21 (01:16:26):
Dear.

Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
Dear, but what's the matter with you, Jim?

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
Maybe he doesn't feel well.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
He's in love, Daddy, mind your own affairs and eat
your dinner.

Speaker 16 (01:16:45):
Well he is, But do you feel all right?

Speaker 34 (01:16:49):
Bye?

Speaker 21 (01:16:51):
I'll answer, sit down. Don't throw me to answer the phone.

Speaker 44 (01:16:55):
It didn't ring.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
Will you please sit down?

Speaker 21 (01:16:59):
Something wrong? I can still hear it, kind of like Bill's.

Speaker 3 (01:17:08):
Jim. I think he is ill.

Speaker 17 (01:17:10):
He's in law love.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
But if you don't feel well, go to your room.
If you do feel well, eat your dinner.

Speaker 21 (01:17:18):
Maybe it's a doorbell.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
I didn't hear anything, but I just heard it again, Jim,
something is wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
I don't like to look in his eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:17:27):
You know, for the first time in her life. Cathy
may be right. Look at that idiotic grin on me,
on your brother. He looks like a cross between Boris
Karloff and a contented cow. All right, Bud, let's stop

(01:17:48):
all this ridiculous moaning and groaning. What's wrong, Dad?

Speaker 7 (01:17:53):
Yes?

Speaker 21 (01:17:54):
Have you ever been in love? Why, Bud, I mean really.

Speaker 7 (01:18:01):
In love.

Speaker 8 (01:18:05):
With a girl?

Speaker 44 (01:18:09):
Well, your mother wasn't exactly a rhinoceros.

Speaker 21 (01:18:15):
You ought to see her eyes, Dad, They're blue, the
bluest eyes you ever saw, both of them.

Speaker 6 (01:18:25):
Only has two huh.

Speaker 21 (01:18:28):
Hair, the most beautiful hair, like the sun shining on
the home plate.

Speaker 6 (01:18:36):
But is this a girl or a double header between.

Speaker 2 (01:18:38):
The Yanks and Cleveland?

Speaker 21 (01:18:40):
It's a girl, the most wonderful girl in.

Speaker 26 (01:18:42):
The whole world.

Speaker 6 (01:18:44):
Fine, now, I'll eat your dinner food.

Speaker 2 (01:18:47):
How can you think of food at a time like this?
I don't think I'll ever eat again, not ever. I
remember when I first met your mother.

Speaker 6 (01:18:57):
I went through the same thing.

Speaker 44 (01:18:59):
People thought I was going to starve to death.

Speaker 28 (01:19:01):
And did you.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
No I managed to pull through.

Speaker 44 (01:19:08):
Daddy asked Kathy.

Speaker 17 (01:19:10):
How long didn't you eat?

Speaker 8 (01:19:13):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:19:13):
I don't know. I don't remember exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
I know I missed practically one entire lunch, Jim, Dad,
what is it?

Speaker 6 (01:19:24):
Lock and bar?

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
Who?

Speaker 6 (01:19:27):
What do you want?

Speaker 21 (01:19:28):
When you and mom fell in love? What'd you do?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
Don't you think you're getting a little nosy?

Speaker 7 (01:19:36):
No?

Speaker 21 (01:19:37):
I mean how did you know you were in love?
How often did you see one another?

Speaker 26 (01:19:41):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:19:41):
A few times a week something like.

Speaker 3 (01:19:43):
That, Jim, you were there every night?

Speaker 21 (01:19:45):
And you know it.

Speaker 44 (01:19:47):
Margaret, you're being absolutely no help at all.

Speaker 2 (01:19:50):
But isn't serious about this girl?

Speaker 26 (01:19:52):
Are you?

Speaker 7 (01:19:52):
B boy? Am I?

Speaker 2 (01:19:57):
I mean, he isn't thinking about marriage or anything ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (01:19:59):
Like what is ridiculous about marriage?

Speaker 44 (01:20:03):
Margaret? He's fifteen years old.

Speaker 3 (01:20:06):
Oh, I don't mean for Bud.

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Well, we weren't talking about Errol Flynn.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
Naturally, Bud isn't going to do anything foolish, not yet at.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
Any rate, of course, not when he gets a little older.
That'll be time enough for him to do something foolish.

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
That's not what I meant, And you know it. Bud
is a sensible boy, aren't you, dear?

Speaker 21 (01:20:33):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
And he knows that he's much too young. He has
a lot of time for girls, haven't you, dear.

Speaker 8 (01:20:39):
Boy, have I.

Speaker 6 (01:20:44):
Bud, Let's look at this thing in a more practical manner.

Speaker 2 (01:20:49):
You know, going out with girls can be kind of expensive. Flowers, candy, movies. Well,
that's one of the things I wanted to talk about dad.
You see, I only get a dollar on a quarter
a week. Yes, how can you take a girl out
on a dollar a quarter a week? You can't?

Speaker 21 (01:21:06):
Well, that's why I was thinking.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
But if you're really sincere about this girl, if you
think your life and happiness depend on her, well do
what I did. Go sit on her front porch.

Speaker 21 (01:21:20):
Gosh, what kind of fun can you have on a
front porch?

Speaker 6 (01:21:23):
Oh, don't be stupid, ghim.

Speaker 44 (01:21:36):
But when I was courting your mother, all we did
was sit on her front porch.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
Didn't we, Honey, Yes, dear, night after night, week after week,
we just sat there and held hands and looked at.

Speaker 3 (01:21:48):
The moon, a large, lovely, friendly moon.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
Never got so sick and tired of looking at anything
in my whole.

Speaker 21 (01:21:55):
Life, Jim.

Speaker 44 (01:22:01):
Well, let's face it, the same darn thing every night,
just sit there and look.

Speaker 7 (01:22:05):
At the moon.

Speaker 1 (01:22:06):
There were a great many other boys who were perfectly
willing to take your place.

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
But I wouldn't let them, would I?

Speaker 1 (01:22:13):
You certainly wouldn't. You were the stubbornness thing I've ever known.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
Sure, but I was cute.

Speaker 6 (01:22:21):
And I knew a good thing when I saw it.

Speaker 26 (01:22:23):
Dad.

Speaker 21 (01:22:24):
Now, what when you were sure that Mom was the
right one for you? I mean, when you knew that
you couldn't live without her?

Speaker 13 (01:22:31):
Then what you do?

Speaker 2 (01:22:32):
Well? What did we do, Margaret?

Speaker 21 (01:22:36):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
You made me get all dressed up in my best
bib and tucker, and you took me home to visit
your family.

Speaker 8 (01:22:41):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (01:22:43):
I can still feel my knees knocking. Was I ever scared?

Speaker 3 (01:22:47):
Not half as scared as I was.

Speaker 44 (01:22:50):
It turned out all right, though, didn't it?

Speaker 21 (01:22:51):
Honey?

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
They fell in love with you, just like I did. God,
where are you going?

Speaker 21 (01:22:56):
I'll be right back, Dad, I have to make a
phone call.

Speaker 44 (01:22:59):
You come back here and eat your dinner.

Speaker 7 (01:23:01):
Need the boy.

Speaker 3 (01:23:01):
Alone, Jim. It's his first big love. It's got to
get used to it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
Love, Betty, you haven't said a pleasant word all evening.
What's gotten into you?

Speaker 17 (01:23:12):
She isn't eating her dinner either.

Speaker 2 (01:23:15):
Why don't you do your homework?

Speaker 7 (01:23:18):
I did it?

Speaker 6 (01:23:20):
Do it over again?

Speaker 3 (01:23:23):
Can't I just keep still, all right?

Speaker 6 (01:23:27):
But see that you do, Betty?

Speaker 25 (01:23:29):
Do you feel all right?

Speaker 24 (01:23:30):
I feel fine.

Speaker 17 (01:23:32):
She had a fight with Billy Smith.

Speaker 2 (01:23:35):
I thought you were going to keep still.

Speaker 17 (01:23:38):
If I did, nobody never get to know anything around here.

Speaker 1 (01:23:46):
We'd find out somehow, Betty, that you and Billy Smith
had another argument.

Speaker 39 (01:23:51):
I never want to see him again as long as
I live.

Speaker 2 (01:23:53):
I thought you were getting along fine.

Speaker 17 (01:23:55):
We were untelling that that Eloise March, that little snip.

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
Who's Aloise March?

Speaker 39 (01:24:01):
Just the worst little flirt in town, that's all.

Speaker 31 (01:24:04):
And if he wants to, he can have her.

Speaker 1 (01:24:06):
Betty, I wouldn't get all upset about it if I
were you.

Speaker 39 (01:24:09):
I'm not upset. I not believe that upset. I just
wouldn't give you three cents for all the men in
the world, that's.

Speaker 21 (01:24:15):
All, Ilad.

Speaker 2 (01:24:23):
This Aloise March must be quite a character.

Speaker 31 (01:24:27):
She's a vampire, that's what she is.

Speaker 21 (01:24:29):
Is she pretty?

Speaker 3 (01:24:31):
How do I know?

Speaker 31 (01:24:31):
I'm never even seen her.

Speaker 39 (01:24:33):
I'm through with men. I'm going to have a career instead.
I'm going to devolved my whole life to be being
a chemist or something.

Speaker 17 (01:24:43):
I still love you, Beaddy, oh dear, taking.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
It pretty hard, isn't she.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
Well, she and Billy have been friends for so long.

Speaker 7 (01:24:56):
Do you think we had to do money?

Speaker 8 (01:24:59):
What is it, dear?

Speaker 21 (01:25:00):
Aren't you glad?

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
I don't do anything except break windows? Yes, dear, you're
a great health.

Speaker 21 (01:25:08):
Well, it's all. Second, I called her and she's coming over.

Speaker 6 (01:25:12):
Who's coming over?

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
My girl?

Speaker 44 (01:25:14):
But why in the name of all that's holy.

Speaker 21 (01:25:16):
Well, you said to bring her over, didn't you. I
said no.

Speaker 44 (01:25:19):
Such thing, But that's what you did.

Speaker 13 (01:25:21):
You said so, But this is not the time to
bring a girl around.

Speaker 2 (01:25:25):
We're having enough trouble with girls, your sister and Eloise March.

Speaker 21 (01:25:30):
And how did you know?

Speaker 2 (01:25:32):
How did I know?

Speaker 21 (01:25:33):
What about Eloise March?

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
What about Eloise March?

Speaker 21 (01:25:37):
That's my girl?

Speaker 2 (01:25:38):
Oh no, Now that's wonderful coffee welcome words you can

(01:26:12):
hear across your breakfast table from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am,
he'll be there, that number one expert. Because he's your husband. Naturally,
we think we're pretty fair experts. Our Maxwell House Coffee
is America's favorite brand. But the person with the final say,
the one we both want to please, is that husband

(01:26:33):
of yours. And if you make his breakfast coffee Maxwell House.
We're mighty sure he'll tell you that's wonderful coffee. Matter
of fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back.
You see, we know there's no coffee made like Maxwell House.
And that's why no coffee tastes like Maxwell House. It's
the only coffee with that famous good to the last

(01:26:56):
drop flavor. Get Maxwell House tomorrow and start serving it
to your husband. And if he doesn't say it's the
best coffee he ever tasted, why send us the can
an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund the price you paid.
Our address is on the front of every one of
those familiar blue tins. Tomorrow, find out how much the
world's greatest coffee expert enjoys Maxwell House coffee, always good

(01:27:21):
to the last drop. These are powerless times in which
we live, and days of great decision throughout the world.
Men of substance watch the headlines with an anxious eye,
keeping one ear to the ground and the other glued
to the radio. Which is a neat trick if you

(01:27:43):
can do it. Jim Anderson may not quite succeed, but
in the living room of the white frame house on
Maple Street, he's giving it quite a try like this, Margaret.

Speaker 44 (01:27:54):
Why don't people leave things where they belong?

Speaker 26 (01:27:57):
Margaret?

Speaker 2 (01:27:59):
What happened to my large map of Corea?

Speaker 3 (01:28:03):
I don't know, Dear, where did you put it?

Speaker 6 (01:28:04):
It was right here on the table.

Speaker 3 (01:28:06):
Well, if it was on the table, that's where it
ought to be in the living room, Jim, what on
earth are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:28:13):
What's the matter?

Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
All those maps on the floor. And Bud's friend is
going to be here anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:28:17):
Margaret, I'm waiting for a very important broadcast. It's coming
from all over the world, even Moscow. I don't want
to miss a word. This is the only radio in
the house that's any good.

Speaker 3 (01:28:27):
And you know it all right. But I still don't
see why you need eight million maps scattered all over
the floor.

Speaker 44 (01:28:33):
There are five maps? Where's the one of Korea? I
had on the table?

Speaker 3 (01:28:38):
Which table?

Speaker 2 (01:28:39):
This table?

Speaker 21 (01:28:40):
What is this?

Speaker 2 (01:28:41):
That's the map?

Speaker 23 (01:28:49):
Of course you.

Speaker 3 (01:28:50):
Couldn't dream of lifting up a big, heavy magazine.

Speaker 6 (01:28:53):
Well the magazine had no business being there in the
first place.

Speaker 3 (01:28:56):
Dear. If I go into the kitchen, do you think
you can find your way back to the radio.

Speaker 2 (01:29:02):
If I get lost, I'll send up smoke signal one
of by land and two if by sea. He thinks
it's so funny. How did I know it was under
the magazine? People go around hiding your maps under magazines.
I think all a man has to do is go
around looking under magazines.

Speaker 17 (01:29:19):
But he's upstairs, Jim, the.

Speaker 44 (01:29:23):
Doorbell rang, But the doorbell rang.

Speaker 21 (01:29:26):
I'm combing my hair.

Speaker 17 (01:29:28):
He's combing his hair.

Speaker 2 (01:29:29):
Jim, what do you want me to do about it?

Speaker 3 (01:29:32):
You might answer the door.

Speaker 2 (01:29:35):
Well, if you're going to be logical, wait until a
man has something really important to do. Maps all over
the floor. All right, keep your shirt on. I'm coming,
dizzy little character probably hasn't got a brain in her
head anyway. Hello, there is this the residence?

Speaker 6 (01:29:53):
It certainly is.

Speaker 8 (01:29:54):
Come on in.

Speaker 3 (01:29:55):
I know he's watching. Don't tell me you're mister n.

Speaker 44 (01:30:01):
How did you ever figure that out?

Speaker 21 (01:30:03):
Oh?

Speaker 45 (01:30:04):
I'd have known you anywhere, mister Anderson. Really I would
lover boys told me so much about you.

Speaker 44 (01:30:13):
Love her boy has Yeah, that was nice of him,
love her boy.

Speaker 26 (01:30:22):
Uh bad, Your friend is here.

Speaker 2 (01:30:29):
The Thundering Hurd will be down in a minute. He's
fixing his makeup.

Speaker 31 (01:30:34):
I don't mind.

Speaker 6 (01:30:36):
Let's go into the living room and sit down.

Speaker 31 (01:30:38):
All right, my, you have a lovely home.

Speaker 7 (01:30:43):
It's so so ghos.

Speaker 44 (01:30:48):
I was hoping you'd notice that.

Speaker 13 (01:30:53):
We tried to make it one of the ghostiest homes.

Speaker 18 (01:30:58):
And you certainly we have.

Speaker 2 (01:31:01):
Yeah, Margaret, Bud's brend is here, please missus Anderson will
be right in. Then you can all go into the
den and have a nice little chat.

Speaker 7 (01:31:15):
My.

Speaker 17 (01:31:16):
All those great big maps.

Speaker 3 (01:31:18):
What are they?

Speaker 23 (01:31:19):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:31:19):
Just maps of the world. I use them for reference
on the important news broadcast you do.

Speaker 21 (01:31:25):
Why?

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
How clever?

Speaker 2 (01:31:27):
I just listen to the broadcast.

Speaker 6 (01:31:29):
I don't deliver them.

Speaker 28 (01:31:31):
How clever to use maps, end of the whole world.

Speaker 17 (01:31:36):
It's just like I told Bud, men are so so ghost.

Speaker 3 (01:31:44):
Aren't they ever?

Speaker 26 (01:31:49):
Margaret, lovey boy?

Speaker 21 (01:31:56):
I always she you look nice?

Speaker 3 (01:32:00):
But I don't either.

Speaker 31 (01:32:02):
Why eyes to on just any old thing?

Speaker 21 (01:32:05):
You sure threw them in the right place, didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
Yes, he's quite a picture. Why mister and And speaking
of pictures, why don't you show miss marsh the pictures
in the den or someplace?

Speaker 21 (01:32:24):
But you said when you took mom over.

Speaker 2 (01:32:26):
The yard does not have any arguments about it. There's
going to be a very important broadcast.

Speaker 17 (01:32:31):
Miss March.

Speaker 3 (01:32:32):
But I was busy in the kitchen.

Speaker 21 (01:32:34):
Mom, this is Eloise.

Speaker 17 (01:32:37):
I'd have known you anywhere.

Speaker 3 (01:32:39):
Missus Anderson that has told me so much about you.
I'm sure he must have.

Speaker 28 (01:32:46):
Father.

Speaker 7 (01:32:47):
Was that the phone?

Speaker 2 (01:32:49):
No, it wasn't the phone. It was the doorbell.

Speaker 17 (01:32:51):
I'll be right down.

Speaker 2 (01:32:52):
It wasn't for you, Margaret. Why don't you take budon
Alloise into the den and give them some milk and
cookies or something?

Speaker 3 (01:33:00):
Talking cookies?

Speaker 17 (01:33:01):
Holy cow, Dad, mister Anderson's you're so.

Speaker 2 (01:33:06):
Droll, Margaret.

Speaker 3 (01:33:12):
Why don't we show Elouise the pictures we took this summer, Bud.
I'm sure she'd like that.

Speaker 21 (01:33:17):
But I thought, when Dad took you over to his house,
what's holly excitement about?

Speaker 10 (01:33:22):
Betty?

Speaker 44 (01:33:22):
Why don't you go back upstairs?

Speaker 7 (01:33:24):
What thought?

Speaker 3 (01:33:24):
We'll explain all about it later.

Speaker 31 (01:33:26):
Go ahead, dear, Why can't I stay down here?

Speaker 21 (01:33:29):
I know you must be Kathy. Uh that's Betty?

Speaker 45 (01:33:34):
Oh, of course, Betty. I'd have known you anywhere. Bud's
told me so much about you. I'm Eloise March.

Speaker 2 (01:33:44):
No, Margaret, why don't you all go into the den.

Speaker 39 (01:33:51):
The nerve of her coming into this house after.

Speaker 7 (01:33:54):
What she did to me?

Speaker 21 (01:33:55):
Why who did to you, Bud.

Speaker 3 (01:33:57):
Why don't you take Eloise?

Speaker 39 (01:33:58):
And he came here to sneer at. I mean, that's
what she did, Eloie.

Speaker 17 (01:34:02):
I don't know what she's talking about.

Speaker 31 (01:34:03):
I swear I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:34:04):
Oh, yes, you do.

Speaker 39 (01:34:05):
You know just what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:34:06):
If you all just go into the den, I'll see here, Betty,
you have no right to talk to Eloise that way.

Speaker 39 (01:34:13):
I'll talk to her anyway I choose you will not.

Speaker 3 (01:34:16):
I certainly will, Betty. If you'll just go upstairs like
a good girl.

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
Why don't you all go into the den.

Speaker 39 (01:34:24):
You look at her powder and paint and ninch thick.
Billy Smith think she's.

Speaker 21 (01:34:28):
So wonderful, Billy Smith.

Speaker 31 (01:34:30):
But honey, you know I don't care about anybody.

Speaker 39 (01:34:32):
But you told the same thing to Billy Smith.

Speaker 17 (01:34:35):
I never did. And Jennie, like at sister, said you.

Speaker 31 (01:34:37):
Told the same thing to Russell Spencer.

Speaker 21 (01:34:40):
Eloie's you didn't. She certainly did, Betty.

Speaker 17 (01:34:43):
And he was going steady with Miriam Swift all the time,
and you knew it.

Speaker 7 (01:34:46):
I did not know it.

Speaker 3 (01:34:47):
But Jimmy won't do any good.

Speaker 44 (01:34:49):
It has to they're going to start the broadcast any minute.

Speaker 13 (01:34:52):
Look, if you'll all.

Speaker 26 (01:34:53):
Just go into the Dean Eloie's.

Speaker 21 (01:34:56):
How could you How could I watch say what you
said when you you said you never said what you
said before?

Speaker 17 (01:35:04):
Well I never did say it before.

Speaker 39 (01:35:06):
You certainly did, Gusie.

Speaker 17 (01:35:08):
How can you stand there and let her talk like that?

Speaker 21 (01:35:11):
You told me you never went out with old a man.

Speaker 7 (01:35:13):
I don't.

Speaker 21 (01:35:14):
Billy Smith's eighteen and you.

Speaker 17 (01:35:16):
Went out with him only three or four times.

Speaker 3 (01:35:19):
And that doesn't mean anything, does it.

Speaker 21 (01:35:21):
You've only been out with me twice.

Speaker 8 (01:35:23):
Bud.

Speaker 45 (01:35:24):
You're standing on my mask just because I go out
with the boy three or four times.

Speaker 3 (01:35:27):
What does that prove?

Speaker 7 (01:35:29):
Daddy?

Speaker 21 (01:35:30):
You went out with Billy Smith and you told me
you didn't go out with Billy Smith.

Speaker 3 (01:35:34):
Not since Tuesday?

Speaker 21 (01:35:35):
Bud, you're walking all over Alaska ready just because he's
older than I am and gets a bigger allowance.

Speaker 2 (01:35:44):
He does, so does everybody else. Why don't you go
out with them?

Speaker 39 (01:35:51):
Don't worry, she will say.

Speaker 2 (01:35:54):
Telephone, Why don't you all go into the telephone.

Speaker 17 (01:36:00):
That's where I'm going.

Speaker 45 (01:36:01):
Good, But Anderson, you're just the nastiest boy I've ever
known in my whole life.

Speaker 3 (01:36:06):
Bud, why don't you take miss March to the door.

Speaker 21 (01:36:09):
She just said, I was nasty.

Speaker 31 (01:36:10):
He doesn't have to take me to the door now
or ever.

Speaker 44 (01:36:14):
And that goes for me too, if you'll just go
into the den.

Speaker 17 (01:36:20):
I'm sorry I ever.

Speaker 39 (01:36:20):
Came into this house, That's what. And I'm sorry I
said it was Ghosh because it isn't.

Speaker 7 (01:36:29):
Well, Holy cow, Maty, I.

Speaker 1 (01:36:42):
Heard you, all right, Betty answer the phone, Raisen Little
Snip told her.

Speaker 21 (01:36:50):
She was and I spent my whole allowance on a
box of candy for her.

Speaker 2 (01:36:57):
If no one has an objection, now may I listen
to the broadcast?

Speaker 21 (01:37:01):
A whole dollar and a quarter gone, Bud, Why.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
Don't you go into the kitchen and fix yourself a sandwich?

Speaker 21 (01:37:07):
A sandwich? How can you eat with a broken.

Speaker 2 (01:37:10):
Heart easier than with an upper plate. I'll stop acting
like an idiot and behaviorself.

Speaker 21 (01:37:22):
Women just a curse of humanity.

Speaker 3 (01:37:25):
Yes, dear, we're awful.

Speaker 21 (01:37:27):
Oh I didn't mean you, Mom, Margaret.

Speaker 2 (01:37:30):
Will you take that boy out and drown him. I've
got to have quiet in here.

Speaker 1 (01:37:35):
For the broadcast, all right, Bud, Let's go inside.

Speaker 7 (01:37:37):
Now.

Speaker 39 (01:37:37):
Whether it was Billy, it was Billy Smith.

Speaker 17 (01:37:39):
He explained all about Alouise Mark.

Speaker 26 (01:37:41):
Buddy, please he's a.

Speaker 31 (01:37:42):
Psychology major and he was just using her for research.

Speaker 3 (01:37:49):
Oh no, that's fine, dear, and.

Speaker 39 (01:37:54):
He's coming over right away with Russell Spencer and Marion Swift.

Speaker 44 (01:37:57):
No, I've had an of this circus tonight. This is
my house too.

Speaker 2 (01:38:03):
I live here just as much as anybody, and I'm
gonna listen to this broadcast. I don't care what you
told them. I'm going to hear the broadcast, and that's
final that.

Speaker 3 (01:38:11):
It is no reason why you and your friends can't
go down to the playroom.

Speaker 17 (01:38:14):
But we'll have to sneak around on our titcho.

Speaker 8 (01:38:17):
At nine o'clock.

Speaker 2 (01:38:18):
Due to this unforeseen difficulty, the news broadcast originally scheduled
for this period will not be heard. In its place,
we bring you that heartwarming tale of young love, the
Romance of Susan Blake.

Speaker 8 (01:38:30):
Oh no, well, at a.

Speaker 2 (01:38:56):
Time like that, I guess they're just as much for
Father Tuesday. But I know one place where he's always
got some mighty important words.

Speaker 8 (01:39:04):
When it comes to coffee.

Speaker 2 (01:39:05):
He can tell you exactly where to get the most
in flavor for your money. Sure, Father knows best. He's
the world's greatest coffee expert. Just like that, man of yours,
and we think it will really pay you to get
your husband's expert opinion on our Maxwell House coffee, because
when he tries a cup and says, best coffee I

(01:39:26):
ever tasted, you'll know Maxwell House gives you the most
for your money, the most in flavor, the most in
pure pleasure. Get a pound of Maxwell House tomorrow, see
how your husband takes to that wonderful, good to the
last drop flavor, and count all the cups of truly
good coffee you get from that one pound. We think

(01:39:48):
you'll be convinced your coffee buy is Maxwell House coffee
because it's always good to the last drop. It's midnight
in Springfield and all is quiet in the white frame
house on Maple Street. That is, all should be nice

(01:40:09):
and quiet. But you know how it is with the
Anderson's noon or midnight, there's never a dull moment like this. Jim, Jim,
what's the matter with Jim?

Speaker 3 (01:40:19):
Wake up?

Speaker 21 (01:40:20):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:40:21):
What for this?

Speaker 3 (01:40:22):
N I just heard something downstairs.

Speaker 44 (01:40:24):
I'll go to sleep, Margaret. It's probably nothing but a burglar.

Speaker 3 (01:40:27):
Jim, are you going downstairs? Or do you want me
to call Bud?

Speaker 6 (01:40:31):
No, never mind, I'll go.

Speaker 3 (01:40:33):
Be very careful, dear, Please sure, I'll be careful. If
it is a burglar, just call the police.

Speaker 2 (01:40:39):
That's a very good idea, thank you very much. Wake
a man out of a sound sleep and then expect
him to go roaming around in the dark, old you,
One of these nights, I'm gonna fall down the stairs
and break my neck.

Speaker 44 (01:40:54):
Serve him right too, Call the police. What did you
think I was gonna do with him?

Speaker 7 (01:41:02):
All? Right?

Speaker 8 (01:41:03):
Oh?

Speaker 26 (01:41:04):
Hi, your dad?

Speaker 21 (01:41:05):
What's up? I am?

Speaker 6 (01:41:10):
What are you doing down here?

Speaker 21 (01:41:11):
I was hungry? You want a sandwich? Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:41:13):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (01:41:14):
What happened to your broken heart?

Speaker 7 (01:41:18):
Oh? I don't know.

Speaker 21 (01:41:20):
I was an awful boob, wasn't I.

Speaker 6 (01:41:23):
No, not exactly.

Speaker 44 (01:41:25):
But you're getting there. Hurry up and get back to bed.
Your mother's worried enough for one night.

Speaker 21 (01:41:30):
Okay?

Speaker 26 (01:41:31):
Oh say dad?

Speaker 21 (01:41:32):
Yes, did you put a dollar on my dresser?

Speaker 6 (01:41:37):
We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Speaker 26 (01:41:39):
Dad, Now what?

Speaker 21 (01:41:42):
Thanks for everything?

Speaker 44 (01:41:43):
Go to bed, you bed, Good night, Dad, Good night,
love her boy.

Speaker 2 (01:42:06):
It's a wonderful feeling to start the day singing. A
life is swell when you keep well. That's why Post
forty percent brand flakes have become America's largest selling brand Flakes.
Every one out serving of Post forty Percent brand Flakes
provides brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of
bulk in the diet. They're so delicious tasting, and so

(01:42:30):
good for you too. Tomorrow serve America's favorite brand flakes,
Post forty Percent Brand Flakes. Join us again next week

(01:42:50):
when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert
Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargee and the Maxwell
House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Forman. So until next Thursday,
good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House,
America's favorite brand of cork. Always good till the last drop.
Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by

(01:43:11):
Ed Jane. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows
immediately over most of these stations.

Speaker 5 (01:43:35):
Well, I got it wrong. It was Betty with the
New Girlfriend. Here you go, seventy five years ago, September
twenty eight, nineteen fifty Father Knows Best on Classic Radio
Theater with wyat Cox's visit our webpage at Classic Radio
Dot stream. Coming up next, the Last Jack Parr Show.

(01:43:55):
Well sort of.

Speaker 46 (01:44:02):
This is art link Letter, an event of atomic bombing
or some other catastrophe. Here's something important to remember. It
will help save lives, including your own. Do not use
the telephone. Leave the line open for official rescue and relief.
This is your part in civil defense. Remember, don't use

(01:44:23):
the phone. Leave the line clear for safety of your
own life and the lives of others.

Speaker 5 (01:44:30):
Now, the final episode of the Jack par Summer Show
seventy eight years ago, September twenty eighth, nineteen forty seven,
as he built in for Jack Benny during the summer
of forty seven.

Speaker 13 (01:44:43):
Keep your eye on the red bullseye. Yes, keep your
eye on the red bullseye. Keep your eye on Lucky Strike.
Ls MFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco.

Speaker 21 (01:44:54):
At American hine.

Speaker 2 (01:45:00):
Tobacco is what counts in a cigarette.

Speaker 13 (01:45:02):
Ls m F T Lucky strike means fine tobacco, and
fine tobacco means real, deep down smoking enjoyment for you.
So keep your eye on the red bulls eye, keep
your eye on Lucky Strike.

Speaker 44 (01:45:14):
And smoke that smoke of fine tobacco.

Speaker 13 (01:45:17):
Lucky Strike, so round, so firm, so fully backed, so
free and easy on the draw.

Speaker 29 (01:45:37):
Problem Hollywood, Lucky Strike for sence, the Jack Parr Program
with Trudy Irwin, Jerry Fielding and the Orchestra Yours Truly
High have her back and starring America's new young humorist,
Jack har Thang you, this is Jack Parr.

Speaker 47 (01:46:01):
Hello, and a special message to the Unemployment Compensation Commission.
No matter what Jack Benny tells you, take him off
the list. He goes back to work next Sunday. The
vacation did mister Benny a lot of good? I think
he looks at least an hour and a half younger.
I feel, are you reading over my shoulder?

Speaker 37 (01:46:18):
Hot there?

Speaker 2 (01:46:18):
What's going on?

Speaker 13 (01:46:19):
I noticed he wears his to pay a little differently
this year. The part in his hair now runs from
ear to ear. It it looks rather smart. But when
you talk to him, you find.

Speaker 47 (01:46:30):
Yourself whispering in his nose. Well, let's look at the
news this week. This has been a rather busy week
here on the West Coast. The Burlesqued show in Los
Angeles was rated. Somebody pinched the fan d answer after
she was arrested. I also read in the paper where
more babies are born in Los Angeles than any other place.

Speaker 13 (01:46:51):
In the country. The reason for this is not quite known.

Speaker 47 (01:46:54):
But according to a recent Gallup poll, eleven percent of
the people think it's because of the sunshine, sixteen percent
I think it's because of so much orange juice and
not on the straight lines now, and eighty nine percent
blamed the whole thing on does. And this is the

(01:47:18):
season for county fairs. There are a lot of fun
these county fairs. The lady next door who has won
a prize for her upside down cake, of course, he's
an upside down cook. I knew she was upside down
because all her clothes.

Speaker 13 (01:47:31):
Were made that way.

Speaker 26 (01:47:32):
Flock dog.

Speaker 47 (01:47:33):
Despite old fashioned things such as county fairs, we're now
living in a push button age.

Speaker 13 (01:47:38):
I saw a wonderful modern.

Speaker 47 (01:47:39):
Gadget in the kitchen of a new house the other day.
You push the button and it lights the gas by
rubbing two sticks together.

Speaker 2 (01:47:48):
What an age we're living in.

Speaker 13 (01:47:49):
Too soon everyone will have a heliicopter, a new radio,
a helicrafter.

Speaker 47 (01:47:53):
I even heard of a new kind of toothbrush. It's
a tooth on a stick for cleaning brushes. I know
I get you sooner or later.

Speaker 13 (01:48:03):
You can't gotta give.

Speaker 7 (01:48:05):
In there, I say, jack.

Speaker 29 (01:48:06):
I heard of a wonderful invention to help the housewives.

Speaker 21 (01:48:08):
What is it?

Speaker 29 (01:48:09):
High, It's a combination eyebrow tweezers and ice.

Speaker 13 (01:48:12):
Tong We sound like Sweeney in March without Sweeney. Egad,
what an idea?

Speaker 7 (01:48:20):
Hi?

Speaker 29 (01:48:21):
And here's another one. It's a new kind of dandruf
to stop falling vasily.

Speaker 13 (01:48:30):
Yes, Hi, this is the age of science. I heard
of a new preparation that'll grow hair on a billiard bowl.
Does it work yes, but it sure slows down the game.
So this week, Hi, we're going to investigate hair tonics.

Speaker 29 (01:48:46):
As an educational feature. We bring you Jack Parr's Report
to the Consumer today, Votum one number four Airtonics.

Speaker 13 (01:49:04):
Friends.

Speaker 47 (01:49:05):
Hair Tonics are sold in many forms. The most popular
is liquid. Then there's powder cream, tablet injection, and it
even comes frozen on a.

Speaker 13 (01:49:13):
Stick for the kiddies.

Speaker 47 (01:49:16):
This latter type is called a kreml sickle. Thanks to
kremal sickles, we have very few bald headed children. Some
hair tonics make extravagant claims. Of course, many of these
claims are well founded. I investigated one tonic by rubbing

(01:49:36):
some on my scalp with my fingertips. In three weeks,
I had grown a luxurious growth of hair on the
tips of my fingers.

Speaker 13 (01:49:45):
Now I can paint my house without buying a brush.

Speaker 8 (01:49:52):
I just take off my.

Speaker 13 (01:49:53):
Wristwatch and start to work. After reviewing all the hair
tonics and hair restores on the market, I've come to
the conclusion of his own one complete cure for baldness,
and that cure for baldness is called.

Speaker 26 (01:50:08):
Adam hats.

Speaker 13 (01:50:17):
A survey recently.

Speaker 47 (01:50:18):
Taken by an unidentified pickpocket has been recovered and proved
conclusively that the average American has more hair on his
shoulders than he has on his head.

Speaker 13 (01:50:26):
This is a dangerous trend. Listen to what was said
by an average housewife.

Speaker 28 (01:50:31):
I am a red head. I also have red hair.

Speaker 17 (01:50:38):
Last week, however, I noticed two blonde hairs, one on
each shoulder of my bald headed husband.

Speaker 3 (01:50:46):
I removed them the shoulders that is.

Speaker 28 (01:50:51):
However, this did not prove practical, as his shirt collar now.

Speaker 17 (01:50:55):
Flipped to his heads.

Speaker 19 (01:50:58):
Four.

Speaker 29 (01:50:58):
In intimate glimpse behind the scenes of hairtonic manufacture, we
take you an hour with the private offices of Dura
Power Mainspring hairtonic tycoon who produces groom are the hair
grower that completely eliminates for it.

Speaker 47 (01:51:20):
Gentlemen, I have called you here to discuss our Chicago
sales manager.

Speaker 13 (01:51:24):
Hotchkiss must go. It isn't proper for a hair tonic
company to be represented by a bald headed man.

Speaker 29 (01:51:29):
Oh but Dura power Hotchkiss, isn't that ball?

Speaker 13 (01:51:31):
No, his head is so shiny and slippery his ears
keep falling to the floor.

Speaker 29 (01:51:37):
Well, well, don't fire of Dura power. Maybe he can
wear his eyebrows in an upsweet.

Speaker 14 (01:51:42):
Say, I have an idea for a new product, chief,
What is it, Simpkins?

Speaker 8 (01:51:46):
Well, I have the plans right here, sir.

Speaker 13 (01:51:48):
It's a calm with real teeth, real teeth. What's the idea?

Speaker 14 (01:51:51):
Well, you see when it's calm. If your scout bites,
you can bite it back.

Speaker 47 (01:52:00):
We are things frightening about you, Simpkins. Must you parade
around the office and your linoleum shorts.

Speaker 6 (01:52:06):
Auropower?

Speaker 29 (01:52:07):
Who is that distinguished looking gentlemen sitting in the corner
with bobby pins holding up his bobby side?

Speaker 13 (01:52:12):
Well, I'm glad you asked that. Gentlemen.

Speaker 47 (01:52:14):
I want you to meet a new member of our firm,
The former dean of the main Street Tonic institute.

Speaker 13 (01:52:19):
Dean, will you please introduce yourself.

Speaker 35 (01:52:21):
Sir piment, My name is ruddies Lape.

Speaker 13 (01:52:25):
What's the what's the s stand for nothing?

Speaker 35 (01:52:29):
My father dropped a noodle on my birth a TPK.

Speaker 47 (01:52:43):
Now, Dean, I understand that you have perfected a new
type of hair dressing.

Speaker 35 (01:52:47):
Oh we messieur, tell me mess your men spring? Do
you have unruly hay of well?

Speaker 13 (01:52:54):
I don't know. I never tried to rule it.

Speaker 35 (01:52:58):
We mess your Please look at my hair? You see
how neat and well cupped these?

Speaker 13 (01:53:03):
Yes, it's it's very well groomed. How do you keep
it down?

Speaker 35 (01:53:06):
There are simplemoutheur, thumb tacks, what an idea?

Speaker 14 (01:53:16):
Thumbtags?

Speaker 13 (01:53:17):
I must admit it looks needed and scotch tape. But
let's get to the point. How does your new preparation work?

Speaker 35 (01:53:23):
Or try simplem On a Monday, you rub a little
of mac cream into your scatch. Tuesday you rub a
little more, Wednesday you rub more, Thursday and Friday the
same and before you know it, yeah, the whole week
is gone.

Speaker 13 (01:53:36):
In Thus a new hair preparation is put on the market.

Speaker 47 (01:53:44):
Next comes the advertising. We unsuspecting consumers turn on our
radios and we hear.

Speaker 7 (01:53:52):
Ma'am, are you.

Speaker 29 (01:53:53):
Losing your hair? Is your scalp so shiny that you
have to switch your forehead.

Speaker 13 (01:53:57):
To dim when passing a pedestrium? So then buy GROOMA.

Speaker 29 (01:54:02):
Groomo contains no harmful impurities such as vitamins. GROOMO trains
your hair. It trains hair to lie down, flat, sit
up and bagger. Go out and fetch an evening paper.
Would you buy GROOMO? Remember, Groomou is not sold in jars.
It is not sold in the jube, It is not
sold in bottles. Groomau was sold only in drug stores.

(01:54:26):
GROOMO will make your hair come in heavy. Listen to
what mister HP of Grand Rapids has to say.

Speaker 47 (01:54:32):
I was completely bald. I used GROOMO and my hair
came in heavy. I only grew one hair, but it
weighs twelve pounds.

Speaker 13 (01:54:48):
Thank you.

Speaker 47 (01:54:49):
Many listeners have written to me asking if they could
hear many of more of our young maestro Jerry Fielding's voice.

Speaker 13 (01:54:55):
So here he is, Jerry. Is there anything you'd care
to say?

Speaker 8 (01:54:59):
Nope?

Speaker 13 (01:55:01):
Would you care to tell us what you're going to play? Well?
Do you like being on the radio? Well? Enough of
this smart talk. The orchestra will not play. I'm just
wild about Harry, his features, Jerry and his magic. Nope,

(01:56:45):
keep your eye on the red bull's eyes. Yes, keep
your eye on the red bull's eyes. Keep your eye
on Lucky Strike. L s m F T Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco is what counts in
a cigarette.

Speaker 35 (01:57:00):
Yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
not any no.

Speaker 13 (01:57:05):
American Lucky Strike presents the man who knows this deployed
play of versa. Ailes Kentucky operates one of the largest
tobacco warehouses.

Speaker 8 (01:57:13):
In the world.

Speaker 2 (01:57:14):
He said recently, up through the years, I've seen American
by tobacco that's ripe and mild tobacco with real flavoring melonnis.

Speaker 44 (01:57:21):
And that's not all or as mister Clay also said,
I have.

Speaker 34 (01:57:24):
Smoked Luckers myself for seventeen years, and as Lucky Strike.

Speaker 12 (01:57:27):
Smokers say, that's my kind of a cigarette, real smooth smoking.

Speaker 13 (01:57:32):
Keep your eye on the red bull's eye, keep your
eye on Lucky Strike, and remember ls MFT Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco.
Lucky Strike, so round, so firm, so fully fat, so
free and easy on the draw. Keep your eye on
the red bull's eye, keep your eye on Lucky strike.

Speaker 29 (01:58:07):
Now, kiddies, it's time for another weekly meeting of Uncle
Jack's buff and here to bring you all the latest
club news is your Uncle Jack.

Speaker 13 (01:58:16):
Hello, kids of America. Here's the news from our club chapters.
We have a report here from the president of our Savannah,
Georgia chapter, Little Irving Center. Irving has invented something.

Speaker 47 (01:58:26):
It's just super ginger cream peachy for all of you
kids who don't like your teacher. It's a bright, shiny
red apple. One bite and the whole school blows up. Now,
Kids of America, we come to Uncle Jack's Open Forum,
where your representatives are here to discuss topics of importance
to all the kids.

Speaker 13 (01:58:43):
First, let me.

Speaker 47 (01:58:43):
Introduce little Agatha McCarthy, age eight, one of our real
enthusiastic members from Enthusiastic Idaho.

Speaker 13 (01:58:50):
Mistress McCarthy, Thank you, Uncle Jack, I see honey, Agatha
before you began, tell us, how do you like Los Angeles?

Speaker 7 (01:58:55):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (01:58:56):
It's grand Holleywood is everything they said?

Speaker 21 (01:58:58):
Really? Yes?

Speaker 48 (01:59:00):
Do you know that yesterday I bought a lollipop and
the hammer was genuine naughty pine.

Speaker 13 (01:59:05):
Naughty pine? What flavor was the lollipop?

Speaker 7 (01:59:10):
Redwood? Oh?

Speaker 13 (01:59:12):
That accounts for the splinter in your lip? I see.
We'll be back with you in just a few moments. Agus.

Speaker 47 (01:59:17):
And now let me introduce Master Jonathan up John, nine
years old from San Francisco, Alabama. Incidentally, last week he
was playing mumbley peg with his new boy Scout knife.
The knife slipped and he accidentally cut off one of
his mumbley Master up.

Speaker 8 (01:59:34):
John, Thank you all of jack.

Speaker 13 (01:59:36):
It's nice to have you with it. Jonathan, But why
didn't you tell if you were coming a few days ago?

Speaker 28 (01:59:40):
I didn't know I was coming.

Speaker 31 (01:59:42):
I see, I was entered in the soapbox servey at
aftern Ohio and my car got.

Speaker 1 (01:59:46):
Away from me.

Speaker 7 (01:59:47):
Welcome.

Speaker 13 (01:59:50):
What kind of soapbox oado were you driving?

Speaker 17 (01:59:53):
Hopped up nineteen forty seven?

Speaker 13 (01:59:54):
Rinsels, Well, isn't that touchby? We'll be back you and
a moment, Jonathan. I'll let's meet our third guest, Little
Texaustin from New Mexico. Well, text, how do you like
Los Angeles?

Speaker 2 (02:00:11):
You must be bashful of coour to text?

Speaker 8 (02:00:13):
Are glad to be here?

Speaker 26 (02:00:15):
Ah?

Speaker 13 (02:00:15):
Those Islands Western Well, never mind, text, We'll be back
to you later, Hoby. Male, Oh so you finally opened up?
Well tell us text?

Speaker 8 (02:00:26):
How do you like it? Hody?

Speaker 13 (02:00:27):
Mail over back to you and Mama.

Speaker 10 (02:00:30):
Text.

Speaker 13 (02:00:30):
Now on with the forum. First, little Agathon McCarthy, what
is your topic?

Speaker 2 (02:00:34):
Aggie?

Speaker 48 (02:00:34):
Uncle Jax, friends and fellow children, We get the seat
of the horrible black marketing bubble gum. Not only is
black market bubble gum extensive, but the quality of it
is definitely interior.

Speaker 13 (02:00:46):
You're so right, Aggie. One of our members blew a
big bubble with some black market gum. Just as he
got it full blown, it backfired and blew a hole
in his neck.

Speaker 8 (02:00:59):
Uncle Ja, I've been.

Speaker 48 (02:01:00):
Going bubble for the last two years without sending a
penny on black market gum.

Speaker 8 (02:01:04):
Incredible.

Speaker 13 (02:01:05):
How do you do it?

Speaker 21 (02:01:07):
Well?

Speaker 13 (02:01:10):
Isn't that Sudsey? I always say that when I'm stuck
for an ad lib I text. Austin has his hand raised.
Now what have you got to say about the bubblegum situation?

Speaker 7 (02:01:18):
Text?

Speaker 13 (02:01:19):
Holly Man, don't laugh, folks, this kid may be our
next president. Now I'll back a little Jonathan Upschohn, I'm
here to.

Speaker 31 (02:01:34):
Talk about the terrible kravy kitnitions in our schoolrooms.

Speaker 17 (02:01:37):
It's awful, or my school is so packed with kids
that we have to go to.

Speaker 45 (02:01:40):
School and ship.

Speaker 3 (02:01:41):
When do you go between two and five in the morning?

Speaker 13 (02:01:44):
I what are you studying?

Speaker 21 (02:01:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:01:49):
They don't turn the light zone.

Speaker 13 (02:01:56):
Well that's quite a problem.

Speaker 8 (02:01:57):
Magis.

Speaker 13 (02:01:58):
What do you suggest we do to relieve the crowd
conditions in school room?

Speaker 17 (02:02:01):
Get rid of the teachers?

Speaker 13 (02:02:03):
See an excellent suggestion. Well, kids, I guess that conclude
doll in the forum for second, Uncle Jack, I beg
your pardon?

Speaker 8 (02:02:11):
Who are you?

Speaker 24 (02:02:13):
My name is Passion the Nudio and I'm eight years old?

Speaker 26 (02:02:29):
Eight years old?

Speaker 13 (02:02:30):
Eh, I'll time. You're so well advanced If you're only eight,
I read a lot. Aren't you rather tall for your age?

Speaker 24 (02:02:41):
I'm standing on my sister.

Speaker 13 (02:02:46):
Oh I see that's a lovely pickaboo waist you're wearing.

Speaker 4 (02:02:50):
That's no pickaboo waste.

Speaker 24 (02:02:53):
That's my sister.

Speaker 4 (02:02:58):
She's no there, you ke bottle it, you stay.

Speaker 13 (02:03:09):
Away, text ow Passion, Just what do you want? This
is an open forum?

Speaker 27 (02:03:13):
I know, I uh so we could have more fun
if we continue it later at the playground. The playground,
I'll meet you behind the sea, song.

Speaker 13 (02:03:28):
Good, bring something wrong?

Speaker 8 (02:03:32):
We'll have a ball.

Speaker 13 (02:03:48):
And now it's time for our lovely vocalist Trudy Irwin.
People ask, how does truly memorize all the words to
the song she sings? Actually, she doesn't memorize the words.
She has the lyrics pasted to her Eyeand Rudy, would
you care to tell us the title of your number tonight?

Speaker 21 (02:04:04):
Nope?

Speaker 13 (02:04:06):
Well, so much for collective bargaining. Sing Trudy, what a
day this has been?

Speaker 28 (02:04:17):
What a realm mood I'm in? Why it almost like
being in line? There's a smile on my face for
the whole human race? Whyat almost like being in line

(02:04:37):
bother you? Sic of line seems to be like a
bell that is ringing for me from the wood that
I feel.

Speaker 49 (02:04:52):
When that bell start to feel, I would swear I
was falling.

Speaker 28 (02:04:58):
I couldn't swear I was falling. It's all most be
in line more the news. Think of life seems to

(02:05:22):
be like a soul that is ringing for me and
turn away that I feel when that belt stuck to
be you, I could swear I was falling.

Speaker 49 (02:05:38):
I would swear I was falling it's all most sucking
in line, It's all most sute in line.

Speaker 13 (02:06:08):
Friends, America is a world power today because of her
fighting spirit, the teamwork of her peoples, and her patriotic fervor.
For proof of this, look at our motto e pluribus union,
which means one auto manic. Look at the motto of
the Marine Corps semper fidelis, which means always faithful.

Speaker 47 (02:06:25):
And of course the famous motto of the post Office.
Neither snow nor rain, nor heath, nor gloom of night
stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

Speaker 14 (02:06:34):
And that means which race Hollywood and Vine.

Speaker 13 (02:06:46):
Like most of us, I've always taken the post Office
department for granted. But yesterday I happened to overhear a
conversation between two postmen.

Speaker 29 (02:06:54):
Hi, Freddie, say, I see you got a fancy new
swide mailbag. Gee a two tall brown and white sports model.

Speaker 26 (02:07:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 35 (02:07:01):
I've just been transferred to Beverly Hills.

Speaker 29 (02:07:06):
Oh boy, what are rout out there with all those
movies stars.

Speaker 35 (02:07:10):
Oh it's not as easy as it sounds.

Speaker 50 (02:07:11):
Almost broke my back yesterday delivering a package to Arson Wells.

Speaker 2 (02:07:15):
What was in it Arson, Well.

Speaker 29 (02:07:21):
That as you're so bad, you should see that route.

Speaker 8 (02:07:23):
I've got what's wrong with it.

Speaker 29 (02:07:25):
I got a tree surgeon on top of a hill.

Speaker 35 (02:07:27):
All those hills are murder to climb the hills, I
don't mind.

Speaker 8 (02:07:30):
It's that tree surgeon.

Speaker 29 (02:07:31):
People keep mailing them sick eucalyptus trees.

Speaker 13 (02:07:38):
Friends, Let's face it, the mailmen of America have a
tough job.

Speaker 47 (02:07:42):
Imagine how they must feel every spring and winter when
seers Robuts sends out those new catalogs. At the end
of the day, the postman is so flat footed he
can applaud from either end. Postmen have always had a
tough time, starting with the first airmail letters delivered by
Paul Revere.

Speaker 29 (02:08:02):
Paul Revere, Oh, he didn't have air mail in those days.

Speaker 13 (02:08:06):
Paul had a very tall horse. Yes, it was a
thankless job, Bann, And it's the same now. Let's look
in on a mail man coming home from a hard
day's delivery with his pus dragon.

Speaker 3 (02:08:28):
Hello, dear, oh, you must have had a terrible day.

Speaker 13 (02:08:32):
Yes, darling, how can you tell all the.

Speaker 28 (02:08:34):
Shine has gone out of your leather bow tie?

Speaker 13 (02:08:39):
Yesterday was really murder? If only I could afford to
hire a caddy. That reminds me with our little daughter, Prudence.

Speaker 17 (02:08:45):
Here I am daddy behind the sofa plane post office.
We hope, Prudence, you can't pay post office all by yourself,
now by myself, Mama.

Speaker 13 (02:08:53):
Who's with you?

Speaker 45 (02:08:54):
How mal?

Speaker 47 (02:09:01):
Perhaps the answer to the mailman's troubles can best be
answered by a mailman himself. Here's postal carrier Jesse Shimble
to give us his solution.

Speaker 29 (02:09:09):
Don't write telegraph.

Speaker 13 (02:09:17):
Now, here's a word from a telegraph operator.

Speaker 2 (02:09:19):
Don't telegraph telephone.

Speaker 13 (02:09:22):
And here's a word from a telephone operator.

Speaker 28 (02:09:25):
Stop it.

Speaker 13 (02:09:38):
Of course, friends, there is a practical solution to the
whole thing.

Speaker 47 (02:09:42):
I have an idea that'll benefit every mailman in the country. Friends,
Next Tuesday at eleven o'clock, let's everybody in America move
into the same apartment.

Speaker 13 (02:10:23):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 47 (02:10:23):
It's an old American custom to help the other fellow.
One of the best ways I know of helping those
in need is through the community chest. By treating vital
problems as they arise, Red Feather Services prevent these problems
from spreading throughout the community and affecting the welfare of
the nation. By giving to the community chest, you benefit
millions of Americans directly and all of us indirectly.

Speaker 13 (02:10:44):
The sign of the red feather is the sign of
a good neighbor. So give generously to the community chest.
Thank you, Jack, who will go back and drop the
moment the first. If your eye on the red bull,
if your eye on Lucky Strike, L S M F T.
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.

Speaker 21 (02:11:11):
I American.

Speaker 13 (02:11:12):
Lucky Strike presents the man who knows. Mister Charles Belvin,
well known independent tobacco buyer of Durham, North Carolina.

Speaker 43 (02:11:19):
Not long ago, he said, season after season at market
after mark, and I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike
by fine right mile tobacco.

Speaker 8 (02:11:28):
Year after year.

Speaker 13 (02:11:29):
Experts like mister Belvin, men born and raised in the
tobacco business, can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently
select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco.
So keep your eye on the red bull's eye. Yes,
keep your eye on the red bull's eye. Keep your
eye on Lucky Strike. And remember L S M F

(02:11:50):
T Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke
of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so
fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Ladies

(02:12:11):
and gentlemen, This is the last program of the summer
season for all of us on this show. Next week,
Jack Benny returns at this time on behalf of the cast.
I want to publicly thank mister Benny for this wonderful opportunity.
Takes a very kind and very gracious man to give
new people a chance. Jack Benny's that kind of a person.

Speaker 47 (02:12:27):
Now, may I mention a few of the people who
made this show possible? In our cast each week were
such fine performers as Hans Conrad, Florence Halleth and Darris Singleton.
Our producer was Bob Nye, Charlie Buck of NBC and
George Foster, the wonderful engineer. And last, but certainly not
least expensive are the writers who have worked with me
on these strips. It was Jack Douglas, hal Canter, Semen,

(02:12:50):
Jacob's Leo Solomon, and my thanks to the NBC censor
who has been so cooperative. I'd like to I'd like
to mention his name, but I can't because it sounds naughty.

Speaker 13 (02:13:01):
Good Night, everybody.

Speaker 29 (02:13:10):
At Wednesday Night, America's newest comedy sensation Jack Paul will
be heard on another network at a new time. Consult
your local paper for the exact station and hour of broadcast.
And right here next Sunday night, in the regular Jack
Benny time spot, it will be Jack Benny himself, Yes, Jack,
Marry and all the gang right here on Sunday, October fifth,
be with us, won't you.

Speaker 8 (02:13:42):
Remember?

Speaker 29 (02:13:43):
For the Tompson Radio Entertainment. Set your dial to WENBC
Saturday night for your Hip Parade with Doris Day, Axel
Stordall ken Lane and the Hip Paraders and Storry Frank
snat Brog.

Speaker 8 (02:13:59):
Wors Bend the.

Speaker 2 (02:14:00):
National Broadcasting Company.

Speaker 5 (02:14:03):
Whatever happened to that Sinatra fella. Jack Parr was his
own worst enemy. As our friend, the late John Dunning
said in his wonderful tone on the air the Encyclopedia
of Old Time Radio. Jack moved to ABC.

Speaker 8 (02:14:25):
He did.

Speaker 5 (02:14:26):
He went to Wednesdays at nine thirty, also sponsored by
Lucky Strikes, and things went fairly well. But then a
consultant insisted that he devise a gimmick that would play
from week to week. And then Parr was quoted as saying,
according to Jack, he wanted to get away from that

(02:14:48):
old hat humor, the kind being practiced by Jack Benny
and Fred Allen. Lucky Strike heard about it, Lucky canceled,
and he did a quarter hour daily show from July
of nineteen fifty six to March of nineteen fifty seven
per ABC. Parr said, it was so modest. They did

(02:15:11):
it from his basement rumpus room.

Speaker 13 (02:15:15):
But then.

Speaker 5 (02:15:17):
An interesting thing happened. Television came along and he became
the second full time longtime host of The Tonight Show
after Steve Allen, and he hosts until the era of Carson.
Jack Parr and his final show, Final Real Big Show

(02:15:40):
as it was heard on this date seventy eight years ago,
September twenty eighth, nineteen forty seven. Coming up next, we'll
take a trip and probably our last trip for a while,
to find Rich Jarkitsa and see what's going on with Lomon.

Speaker 51 (02:15:54):
After two weeks, fourteen days, three hundred and twenty six hours,
every second that your family could be exposed to radiation
after a nuclear attack, radiation that kill.

Speaker 12 (02:16:15):
To survive a fallout, shelters a necessity. Equipment and supplies
are essential now survive all shelters. One of the nation's
leading manufacturers of fallout shelters offers a basic equipment kit
with a ConL red high powered radio transistor operated for
long battery life.

Speaker 51 (02:16:31):
A complete, fully stocked first aid kit.

Speaker 12 (02:16:33):
A heavy duty fire extinguisher, emergency water containers, a chemical
toilet for protection against contamination and disease.

Speaker 51 (02:16:39):
Extra strength saran and rayon bunks.

Speaker 12 (02:16:42):
A radiation meter, and individual docimmeters.

Speaker 51 (02:16:46):
For protection every second of each hour of every day.
See a Survive hall shelter.

Speaker 5 (02:16:55):
No, yes, be the first one on your block, our
survive all fallout shelter sir representative in your neighborhood today.

Speaker 14 (02:17:05):
No, they were.

Speaker 5 (02:17:10):
Actually one of the more reliable distributors of the fallout shelters.
Believe it or not? All right, Beginning tomorrow we will
be closing our show five days a week with Claudia,
so we're not going to hear nearly as much as
luman Abner as we have been. So let us hear
this episode of lomond Abner from September twenty eighth, nineteen

(02:17:31):
forty two, eighty three years ago.

Speaker 50 (02:17:33):
Today, the makers of Alka Seltzer bring you Lommon Abner.

Speaker 6 (02:18:25):
See I wonder, friends, did.

Speaker 2 (02:18:27):
You have the Monday morning blues.

Speaker 50 (02:18:29):
When you got up this morning, Well, if you did,
and if your weekend activities proved to be a little
too much for you, did you let alkaselser help you
get back on the happy side of life. Well, thousands
of folks know that alka Selser can be dependent upon
to ease the dull headache and subtlely upset, jittery stomachs
that frequently follow good times, common ailments that can so
easily keep you from feeling your best and doing your best.

(02:18:53):
I remember that, won't you? And the next time you
wake up in the morning feeling sorry for yourself, let
alka selser help you feel better.

Speaker 16 (02:18:59):
Fast.

Speaker 2 (02:19:00):
You can get Alca.

Speaker 50 (02:19:01):
Saucer at all drug stores in thirty and sixty cent
sized packages, and also by the glass at the soda fountain.

Speaker 8 (02:19:10):
And now.

Speaker 14 (02:19:12):
Let's see what's going on down in Pine Ridge.

Speaker 2 (02:19:16):
Well, day by.

Speaker 50 (02:19:18):
Day, Lung gets less interested in his job as president
of the school board. The main reason for this seems
to be the new teacher, Professor M. Sloan, who likes
nothing better than to sit down with Lum and have
a nice chat about theory and the practice of education.

Speaker 37 (02:19:33):
As we're looking on the little community.

Speaker 50 (02:19:35):
Today we find Abner in the jobam down store and
seated in the library section, his grandpappy spears once again
absorbed in his favorite volume, the Almanac.

Speaker 8 (02:19:49):
Listen, Yeah, well, well, good for them, good for them,
good for whose grand path she mcnamir and van Kim?
Who macnamara and van Camping? Now I'm proud to know this. Well,
who is this macnamaron van Camping? Or what they do?

(02:20:11):
They win the bicycle race nineteen twenty four bicycle ray, Yes,
according to the Almanac, hum went it in nineteen twenty four,
this sixth day bicyclary. Well, good further them?

Speaker 14 (02:20:23):
Six days?

Speaker 8 (02:20:25):
Is that how long it taking 'em to run the race? Yeah,
according to the Almanae. Well I do know, hm, well
that's awful slow time. I'll say that part six days
is I believe I could do it faster than that?

Speaker 27 (02:20:38):
Either?

Speaker 8 (02:20:39):
That does pair like off a slow time?

Speaker 7 (02:20:40):
No?

Speaker 8 (02:20:41):
Sure of course. Now says here that there was two
fellas that winded. That must mean that both of 'em
was on the bicycle. Oh it does huh sort of
took turns riding each other. Huh, I reckon? So, and
you got to admit Avenue that slow them down considerable?
Oh sure, yeah, yeah that's different. And be one of
'em was awful fat could have been. It's hard pumping

(02:21:04):
with a fat fella on the handleboards, you know, why? Sure? Sure?
Facts this Maybe both of 'em was fat. See that
This might have been the fat man's race. I know
every year at the Elk's picnic over Cherry Hill, while
they always have a fat man's race on bicycle, Well,
I don't know over there, they just sort of race
on foot. Uh? Did you know them two fellas grandpam

(02:21:26):
at what two fellas happening? That mcnamarane van camping or
whatever their names are? And them names do sound familiar?
Seems like I've heard them someplace. What do they look like? Why?
I don't know? They're fat, that's all I know. Uh.
You was the one who's looking them up in the
albanack there. Yeah, that's a good idea, look them up

(02:21:47):
in the alban attw where'd you meet these fellas happening?
Meet 'em?

Speaker 18 (02:21:51):
Well?

Speaker 8 (02:21:51):
I never met them nowhere. You was the one, old women?
There comes along? Where'd you say their names?

Speaker 14 (02:21:57):
There comes along?

Speaker 8 (02:22:00):
Hell? Hody lom for taking use along? I thought you
just went over to get the mail. Ah I did,
but I run into that. That blame Professor Sloan again,
Professor Sloan. Yeah, it looks like every time I get out,
I run into him, and every time he has to
start and discuss education. Well went all through the early
Egyptian school system again he did.

Speaker 21 (02:22:21):
Huh.

Speaker 8 (02:22:22):
Yeah, anyway, I'm gonna have to get shut of him.
We don all the youngins in town that grew up
talking Egyptian. Well what's he doing out running around town
this time of day? I I thought he was supposed
to start school today. Well he did, but he let
the youngs out today early on account of this was
the first day or some sich silly reason. Oh, the

(02:22:43):
early Egyptians do it that way, I reckon born likely, Yeah,
just about it. I wonder what's a good legal way
of getting shut of a teacher? Legal? Yeah, well you
ort to know that your prayers down the school boy? Yeah,
Braver found it. Abner Uh, Sam Ashinson and Walter Strurry

(02:23:03):
of Memphis? Who are they? Grandpath? Ain't tell the fellas
you want me to look up in the almenach for you? Well,
I never asked you to look up Nobody in the Almanact,
Sam Askinson and Walter s Truly of Memphis. They won
the National ymc A Doubles four wall Handball Championship in
nineteen thirty six. Accord to the alanach, oh me, anything

(02:23:26):
else you want to know, Abner, look up for you.
I never wanted to know nothing? Good goodness? What is
all this prittle craddle?

Speaker 25 (02:23:33):
I don't know?

Speaker 8 (02:23:34):
Grandpath read something in there about a couple of fellas
winning a bicycle race. I believe their names was McNamara
and van Camping. So then we got the sam names
Abner macnamara and Van Camping. Just a minute, I'll look him.

Speaker 2 (02:23:50):
Up for you.

Speaker 8 (02:23:51):
Let's see you here now, mac Man. There it goes again.
Just let him go ahead and read the aleenax An.
I want you to help me study up something did
professors on the resign or something? Well, I don't hardly
know how to do that. Long, Why don't you just
take it up with the school board. Maybe they can
figure out someway. No use doing that. They wouldn't be

(02:24:12):
no help, but they wouldn't hunt. I mean, he strung
peers don't want a man teacher this year, or he'll
want the professors to stay. Oh yeah, yeah, more like
everywhere it is. And you know how sister Simpson feels
about a man teacher. I've heard she's already started sparking
into professor. Oh, no doubt about that, No doubt about
it as tall. Yeah, I seen her on the street

(02:24:34):
the other day. Or Rosie Jordans had her hair all
freshed up. She's got her caps at firm. Ain't no
doubts about it. Very goodness, say it's disgusting, Why sure?
Call it in love with her school course, I'll say
one thing for m old one that would make a
awful good match. Good match, Yes, sir, there is the

(02:24:56):
one talking as two people. I every knowed my er.
I mean two talking, it's one people? Or see here,
what do I mean?

Speaker 7 (02:25:04):
Well, I know what you mean.

Speaker 8 (02:25:05):
You're right. Yeah, they talk one another to day, all
talk talk, talk, both of them all the time. But
that don't help me get shut of the professor. And
I know I gotta do it as president of the board.
It's my duty to do it for the sake of
the youngest, sake of the young Well, sure they won't
learn nothing from him, They won't set up there and

(02:25:25):
talk for hours. Oh he's a talker. You more likely
run through the early Egyptian school system a thousand or
a hundred times, eating them young. I just won't understand
one thing he said. Why no, no, I don't let
them will I know? I never understood nothing he said
that night he'd take them supper for us. Sat there
and talked half the night, and I don't know, yes,
what he's talking about. So we just got to get

(02:25:47):
a new teacher. It's only are to it. Well, I
don't know what the subject are. Why don't you just
come right out, flat foot? Ag, I'm just telling him
he's far boy. I can't do that. The boards, you
got to vote on them things, you know all they do. Huh. Yeah,
we got to study up something that'll make him wanter resign. Oh,
like what friends had been m I don't know. Might

(02:26:10):
scare him some way, scaring him, Yeah, get him just
thinking the school house is horned or something, school house
is haunted. Yeah, well, how you gonna go about that? Long? Well,
we can dress up some sheets like ghosts and drag
some chains and go away some night and just scare
the daylights at it.

Speaker 22 (02:26:28):
The dog.

Speaker 8 (02:26:29):
I'd love to do that. I wait a minute, So
he ain't over there at night?

Speaker 7 (02:26:33):
Long?

Speaker 8 (02:26:33):
Agree, that's right? Oh oh, he goes back to the
boarding house, and I he just during the daytime. Well,
we'd go over there some day now. Couldn't go in
the daytime, couldn't he? Why, Well, let's see it. Oh yeah, dogges,
that's right, ain't Yeah, And let's see. They'll scare him
to death, make him think it's horned over. Yeah, that's

(02:26:55):
be a good n on him, professor living in a
harnted school? Where about you hear that? I never heard him?
No place you hear that, Grandpap The school house is haunted.

Speaker 10 (02:27:05):
Uh.

Speaker 8 (02:27:06):
I can't find these names in here nowhere's avenue. Well,
I don't care about that. Lom says a schoolhouse is
horned abnuer, I never said, no, sucher thing haunted? Huh, yeah,
must be Old Clyde, Old Clyde. Yeah, I used to
know a ghost by the name of Clyde. He haunted
places around here. You mean you know the ghost personal? Yes, sir, Oh, Grandpath,

(02:27:29):
you couldn't have been bad. Well I never know him personal, No,
but Charlie Redfield knowed him. Charlie Redfield. Many's the time
I've heard Charlie tell how him and the ghost used
to sit out on the hayrack late at night and
talk about different stuff bred or prattle cent and talk
to gold. It's a truth avenue.

Speaker 7 (02:27:50):
I know.

Speaker 8 (02:27:51):
One awful cool winter, Charlie give Clyde a blanket to
wear over his sheet. A blanket though, what the world
and all of that? Oh me, you just asked, Charlie.
You spear up and down and so caps anything I've
ever heard you tell you, Grandpas. I wouldn't believe Charlie
Redfield in the morning, would you, Grandpa? All me neither? Well,

(02:28:12):
that takes care of that. Now let's get back to
Professor sloanho. It was named Clyde. Just exactly what it was, Clyde.
I never didn't know his last name. Well, ghosts don't
have last name. They gotta have a last name. They
got her first name. They don't even have first names either. Well,
this one need I don't believe. All right, headsh up, now,

(02:28:33):
you two, I recollect One time Clyde and Charlie Redfield
teamed up and won the sixth Day Bicycle Race in
nineteen twenty four. Six Day Bicycle I thought you read
now alm when I care two fellas named McNary and
van Camping done now who mac Mary? All right, let's
not get into that again. Grandpap said that Clyde and

(02:28:56):
Charlie redd I take your own abner. I look it
up in the Almen I can prove to you. Yeah,
that's a good idea. Look it up, Grandpat, and maybe
we can get some peace around here. Yes, I recollect
avenue the fellas you're thinking of. When the National Handball
Championship four walls doubles, that was Sam Atchison and uh

(02:29:16):
somebody who sam Atchison and some of that? Oh no, no,
the ghost name was Plyde. Just ask Charlie Redfield who's
talking about that goal? For goodness sake? You fellas enough
to drive my man start raving mad crazier and I
hash up both of you. Well, I don't care, along, Grandpat,
right now, I said the hesh up. Well all right,

(02:29:39):
just the same, still start that grumbling. Oh right, oh grandpamptly,
if you want to read, go ahead and read, but
keep it to yourself. Don't read nothing out loud. Well, now,
whatever I did, nothing, just you get everybody all mixed up,
that's all. Just do as I say, an avenue, you
go over there and straighten out them can goods there?
They look terrible. What are you going I do? I'm

(02:30:00):
gonna sit here and study.

Speaker 9 (02:30:02):
Huh.

Speaker 8 (02:30:03):
I've got to do some thinking, figure this thing out,
some way to get shut of the professor. And I
need a lot of quiet around here to do it.
Don't whistle er nothing or singing while you're working. Don't worry.
I ain't gonna waste my whistling around it. And he's
what are they? He's see now? All right, Jimmy Lama,

(02:30:24):
I believe you're in luck. Is this what she's looking for?

Speaker 10 (02:30:27):
Huh?

Speaker 8 (02:30:29):
You know them? Two friends of yours, friends of mine? Yeah,
Macanamara and Van Campen says here they want some kind
of a bicycle race. It's a sure small world.

Speaker 50 (02:30:45):
The Miles Laboratories, makers of Alca Celtser, make two vitamin products.
One of they brand Vitamin B complex tablets and one
of they brand Vitamin A and D tablets. I wonder
are you getting enough vitamins A and D each day
to take full advantage of their protective benefits. It could
easily be that you're not, So why take chances guard

(02:31:05):
the health of your family against a vitamin A and
D deficiency by giving them one pleasant tasting one a
day brand Vitamin A and D tablet every day. That
way you can all be sure that you get not
merely your minimum daily requirements of these two important vitamins,
but actually twenty five percent more, an amount equal to
the vitamin A and D content of one and one

(02:31:27):
half teaspoonfuls of cod liver oil meeting minimum USB standards.
I'll think of that, friends, All that vitamin A and
D protection in just one easy to take one a
day Vitamin A and D tablet that has no fishy,
oily taste and no aftertaste. It might economical too, when
you buy the large family sized package. Each tablet costs

(02:31:47):
slightly more than a penny a day, and that's mighty
little to pay for the protective benefits they offer. Remember, then,
for convenience and for real economy, ask you a druggist
for one a day brand Vitamin A and D tablets.
That's the package with that big one on it.

Speaker 5 (02:32:24):
Oh, Grandpa is Almanak eighty three years ago, September twenty eighth,
nineteen forty two. Lomon Abner here on classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt Cox. Tomorrow, we'll go back to sixty nine
years ago, nineteen fifty seven for episodes of Yours to Lead,
Johnny Dollar and Suspense Vanessa Brown in an episode Vamp

(02:32:47):
Till Dead, also an episode of Wanted, and an episode
of The Whistler. And then we'll have the very first
episode of Claudia in the short run series Run series
ran a couple of years, and you'll hear what happened
with Claudia and David, with Catherine Mard and Paul Crabtree.

(02:33:09):
That's all coming up on our Monday Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt Cox. Have yourself a great day and we
will talk to you tomorrow for more Classic Radio Theater.
I'm Wyatt Cox.

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