Classic Radio 10-02-25 - Mayor Latrivia Back from the War, Leila's Wedding, and Phil's Horse - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Suspense, shadow note Washington calling David Honey count.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
As my classic radios theaters.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
The Great Yielders, Lade, Zipper McGhee and Molly Dragones guns
Alone Zoe.

Speaker 5 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine.

Speaker 6 (00:31):
It's your host, Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 7 (00:34):
Good evening friend, Vionna Tantu.

Speaker 8 (00:39):
Comedy on this Thursday. Episodes of Bibber McGee and Molly
from eighty years ago, Great Yilder Sleeve starring Harold Perry
from seventy nine years ago, Bill Harrison, Alisade from seventy
two years ago, and are Miss Brooks from seventy six
years ago and Claudia another episode. In fact, this is

(00:59):
the fourth, yeah, fourth episode of the series, and we
thank you for joining us on the sure Happy It's Thursday.
This is the second day of October two hundred and
seventy fifth day of the area of ninety days left.
In twenty twenty five, George Washington transmitted the proposed constitutional
amendments the Bill of Rights to the States for ratification.

(01:21):
Texas Revolution began on this date in eighteen thirty five
with the Battle of Gonzales, Mexican soldiers tried to disarm.
The people of Gonzales, Texas encountered stiff resistance from a
hastily assembled militia part of that you know Second Amendment.
In Colorado. On this date in eighteen eighty nine, Nicholas

(01:41):
Creed struck it rich in silver during the last great
silver Boom of the American West. Nineteen nineteen, President Woodrow
Wilson suffered a massive stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed. The
Geneva Protocol, a treaty prohibiting the use of chemical and
biological weapons in international armed conflicts, adopted on this date
in nineteen twenty four as a means to strengthen the

(02:04):
League of Nations. It never was strong enough. John Logi
Baird performed the first test of the working television system,
A mechanical system, not the one you saw. It was analog.
It's a mechanical nineteen twenty five. Peanuts by Charles M. Schultz,

(02:25):
published on this date in nineteen fifty The Twilight Sold
premiered on this date in nineteen fifty nine. Four and
a half seasons, four pole seasons of half hour shows,
a half season of hour long episodes. One hundred and
fifty six episodes aired in the original run, a nineteen
eighty three feature film, two revival series in nineteen eighty

(02:45):
five and two thousand and two. Rod Serling also created
the nineteen sixty nine Night Gallery series and the radio
series Zero Hour, a one season attempt to bring back
classic radio. The creator of Star Trek, Gean Rodnbert He
said about Serling, no one could know Serling or Bue
or Rita's work without recognizing his deep affection for humanity

(03:09):
and his determination to enlarge our horizons by giving us
a better understanding of ourselves. Nineteen sixty seven, Third Good Marshall,
sworn in as the first African American Justice of the
Supreme Court, was on this date. In nineteen seventy, a
playing carrying the Wichita State University football team, administrators and
supporters crashed in Colorado. Thirty one people were killed. Among

(03:34):
them was not a member of the team. That was
my cousin. My cousin in fact lived until just two
or three years ago when he passed a cancer. But
he did get to play. Not much, but he got
to play. Nineteen eighty four, President Reagan accepted responsibility for
the debts of twenty four people, including two Americans, in

(03:55):
the September twentieth suicide car bombing targeting the US embassy
beab route.

Speaker 9 (04:01):
I am responsible, as I said that I was on
the previous tragedy.

Speaker 10 (04:04):
I was responsible to.

Speaker 11 (04:05):
No one else for our policy and our people being there.

Speaker 8 (04:09):
The Islamic Jihad organization claimed responsibility for the attack and
a telephone call a few hours after the explosion. Nineteen ninety,
the Senate voted ninety to nine to confirm the nomination
of David Sudor to the Supreme Court. Afterwards, Suitor made
a pledge to the American people.

Speaker 12 (04:28):
The President's nomination and the Senate's confirmation are are wholly
beyond the scope of any thanks that I could give
to them.

Speaker 8 (04:39):
Okay ninety six the Electronic Freedom of Information Act amendment
signed by former President Clinton two thousand and one. The
NATO backed US military strikes following nine to eleven. In
two thousand and two, a Michael's employee called in what
would be turned out to be the first of ten
fatal sniper attacks in the Washington DC AREATLAN one emergency.

Speaker 13 (05:04):
We've had a lady shot in our parking lot.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Assist Michaels and Fredericksburg.

Speaker 8 (05:09):
The ensuing manhunt lasted three weeks, resulting in the arrest
of John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malbow, who were
sentenced to execution and life in prison, respectively. Two thousand
and six, five schoolgirls murdered by Charles Carl Roberts, an
armed milk truck driver, in a shooting at an Amish

(05:29):
school in Nickelminz, Pennsylvania. Before Roberts committed suicide.

Speaker 12 (05:34):
He bound the female victims out by the blackboard and
apparently executed him.

Speaker 8 (05:40):
State Police Commissioner Jeffrey Miller. A day after the October
one shootings in Las Vegas on this date in twenty seventeen,
President Trump condemned the attack.

Speaker 5 (05:52):
It was an act of pure evil.

Speaker 8 (05:56):
Fifty eight people killed in the shooting across from the
Mandalay Bay Hotel and casino. And it stresses something more important.
All of these shootings their mental health crises, and our
country has lost its grip on how to handle mental health.
In twenty nineteen, a privately owned Boeing's B seventeen flying

(06:17):
fortress conducting a living history exhibition flight crashed shortly after
takeoff from Windsorlock's, Connecticut. Seven people were killed. And was
on this Dame date. In twenty nineteen, a Dallas jury
sentenced white former police officer Amber Geiger to ten years
in prison, a day after convicting her of murder in

(06:37):
the killing of her black upstairs neighbor. The victim's brother
embraced her in court.

Speaker 14 (06:43):
If you truly are sorry, I know I can speak
for myself.

Speaker 8 (06:48):
I forgive you forgiving those who have committed evil sometimes
is best for us, maybe not necessarily for them. Passing
away on this date in history, among others, Rock.

Speaker 15 (07:02):
Hudson, I am not happy that I am sick.

Speaker 16 (07:07):
I'm not happy that I have AIDS, But if that
is helping others, I can at least know that my
own misfortune has had some positive work.

Speaker 8 (07:18):
Burt Lancaster reading a statement of Hudson's last words and
an AIDS benefit just ten days before Hudson died on
this date in nineteen eighty five, Hudson too ill to attend.
Also passing away on this date, Madeline Carroll, Harriet Hilliard,
Nelson of Ozzie and Harriet Bame, Gene Autry, comedian Nipsey Russell,

(07:41):
the poet Laureate, and Tom Petty among those born on
this date in history, grout Joe.

Speaker 17 (07:49):
I'm going to tell you what that great, mysterious, wonderful continent.

Speaker 18 (07:52):
Known is happening.

Speaker 17 (07:53):
The fice day I shot two bucks. That was the
biggest game we had. The Elks, on the other hand,
lift up in the hills and in the spring they
go down for their annual convention. It is very interesting
to watch them come to the waterhole, and you should
see them run when they find it was only a waterhole.
What they're looking for is an alcohol. One morning I
shot an elephant in my pajamas. How we got in
my pajamas? I don't know what relation to the honist

(08:16):
was Whistler's mother.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Whistle?

Speaker 19 (08:23):
I'm sorry, The answer is Grant's tune.

Speaker 8 (08:26):
If it was movies, it was television either one Groucho
did it. Groucho Marx born one hundred and thirty five
years ago today. Also born on this date, slave Nat Turner,
who led the revolt of the slaves, Secretary State Cordell Hull,
the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, Spanky McFarland of

(08:51):
the Our Gang comedies. Also attorney Johnny cochrane, pro wrestler Yokozuna,
Rodney annoy and you have to remember.

Speaker 13 (09:02):
But dab it. Well, let's see that we have on
our team. We have who's on first?

Speaker 20 (09:06):
What's on second?

Speaker 13 (09:07):
I don't know it's on third.

Speaker 7 (09:08):
That's what I want to play out, the guy's name,
And that's what I want to find out, the guy's name.

Speaker 21 (09:11):
I'm telling me who's on first, what's on second? I
don't know's on third? I haven't you know if the
imagine a baseball team, yet, you know the guy's names
for I should you tell men the guy's names on
a baseball Say who's on first? What's on second?

Speaker 22 (09:20):
I don't know's on third?

Speaker 13 (09:21):
You ain't saying that to me yet?

Speaker 23 (09:22):
Go ahead and tell me.

Speaker 7 (09:24):
I'm telling you none yet, go ahead and tell me
who's on first, what's on second?

Speaker 21 (09:28):
I don't know what's on third?

Speaker 13 (09:30):
You know that's names in the baseball game. Well, who's
on first?

Speaker 24 (09:33):
Yes?

Speaker 13 (09:33):
I mean the guy's name? Oo.

Speaker 21 (09:34):
They got planing first pool, they got playing facet base poo,
they got.

Speaker 7 (09:37):
Hey, who is on first? Me? Fine, I know who's
on first?

Speaker 23 (09:43):
That's the dame.

Speaker 13 (09:44):
Tell me they got on first?

Speaker 7 (09:46):
That's it?

Speaker 25 (09:48):
That's me? Yet?

Speaker 12 (09:50):
I actually, did you know what that name a first
Babe's some of the.

Speaker 26 (09:53):
Guy name on First Babe Who.

Speaker 27 (09:56):
The guy play first Man?

Speaker 13 (09:58):
Who is on First Loud?

Speaker 8 (10:03):
After lu Costello died, bud Abbot the straight Man tried
to find other people. He did an act for a
period of time with Candy Candido, the guy who had
the voice.

Speaker 14 (10:14):
Who appeared I'm feeling mighty low.

Speaker 8 (10:17):
He did it a lot better than I can. But
the act didn't run, and bud Abbot said, once you
work with the best, you can't work for anybody else.
He passed away in nineteen seventy four. Bud Abbot born
on this date back in eighteen ninety five. Those some
of the people born on this state who have left

(10:39):
the building.

Speaker 28 (10:40):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 13 (10:42):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 29 (10:44):
The following people are now officially older than dirt.

Speaker 8 (10:48):
He was a movie critic, wrote a book. Myra Breckinridge
Rex Read eighty seven years old today. The man who
sang about American Pie, that wonderful song about losing our innocence.
Don McLean eighty years old today. He was hawking Spencer
for Hire Cisco on Star Trek. The Next Generation. Avery

(11:11):
Brooks seventy seven of the singer actor Sting, not the wrestler,
This is the singer, and he talks about how he
got the name.

Speaker 7 (11:21):
Why.

Speaker 30 (11:23):
It goes very well with my personality. I'm caustic. I'm
not terribly sociable or friendly. However, it's not a name
that I gave myself. It's a name that was given
to me. I was christened it in a group. I
was in a triad, a Dixieland jazz group, and I

(11:44):
used to wear a stripey jumper. You don't call them jumpers,
you call them pullovers, and I looked like a wasp.

Speaker 22 (11:53):
It was black and yellow.

Speaker 30 (11:55):
I'm the trombone player. Decided to call me Sting, and
the name stuck, and it went so well with my
personality that everybody calls me Sting. My mother calls me Sting.
My four year old son calls me Sting, My wife
calls me Sting. My lawyer calls me Sting. I have
a bank account with the name Sting on it.

Speaker 8 (12:15):
Real name Gordon Sumner, but he's Sting. And he's seventy
four today. Freddie Jackson, wonderful singer.

Speaker 16 (12:23):
You are.

Speaker 8 (12:24):
My lady's sixty nine years old today. Robbie Nebbel, the
man who sang about Cela Ve sixty seven years old today.
The morning talk show host who always talks about her kids,
Kelly Rippa fifty five.

Speaker 31 (12:40):
Well, it needed a photo of the family, and I
swear to God, thank God for the paparazzi.

Speaker 19 (12:45):
I had to cut one out of us with.

Speaker 8 (12:48):
That's one way to do it. Kelly Ripper fifty five today.
The singer Tiffany I Think I'm Alone now fifty four
years old today. The lady who sang about the Arbie
girl from the group Aqua Lenny Nystrom is fifty two today.
For the movie Saving Face, Michelle Kruchek is fifty one

(13:09):
and she was epennine in the film version of the
movie They Misser Rob. Samantha Barks is thirty five. Those
just a few other people celebrating the second day of
October is their birthday. If this is your birthday, we
baked you a birthday cake.

Speaker 32 (13:28):
If you get it on me a and you moan
and grown and woe, don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
How mca wishneer and blow out the candles?

Speaker 8 (13:41):
Here they go, well, well that's one way to blow
those candles out. Okay comedy Fiber McGhee and Molly eighty
years ago, October second, nineteen forty five, welcoming soldier home
from the war, and I wonder, I don't know. Do

(14:05):
you think Fibber really flustered him just as he's getting
off the train. We'll see when Classic Radio Theater with
Wyattcox continues in a moment.

Speaker 33 (14:19):
Civil defense is common sense. Hi, this is Tony Bennett.
Make sure you are prepared. It's nuclear attack ever comes.

Speaker 8 (14:26):
All right, we roll on now with Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt Cox. Gale Gordon went into to do his
military service, which meant that Mayor La Trivia was not
around in Summerfield. But he's coming back for the first
show of the season. From the nineteen forty five to
forty six season. October second, nineteen forty five. Bibber and Molly.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
The Johnson Wax Program with Feber McGhee and Molly, the
makers of Johnson's wax products for home and industry Present Fiber,
McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and Phil Leslie,
with music by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.

(15:33):
From Coast to Coast, There's one job that's getting a
play right now, and I mean that easy job of
cleaning and polishing a car with Johnson's Carne. If you
haven't bought yourself a package of carn You, why not
do it this week and be one of those car
owners who is proud to drive down Main Street or
Michigan Boulevard or Fifth Avenue. The truth is it's so
easy to clean and polish your car with Carnew that

(15:55):
you won't find doing it yourself. Carn You does two
jobs at once, you know, both clean and polishes with
one application. This wax fortified polishes a liquid which dries
on application to a white powder. When you wipe off
this powder, all the dirt and roade, grime and dullness vanish.

Speaker 28 (16:11):
Like magic card.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
You gives a super wax smooth finish that doesn't offer
much of a foothold to dust and dirt, which you
can wipe off occasionally with surprising ease. Try Johnson's carn
You on your car this week, with a spectacular lack

(16:59):
of regret. Large portion of our male population is getting
back into civilian clothes, but always wanted to be different.
The Squire of seventy nine wistful Vista is busy getting
into uniform. Just why he's making like a soldier vintage
nineteen eighteen remains to be seen as we join Fiber
McGhee and knowledge.

Speaker 19 (17:24):
Look, Dearie, must you wear that old army uniform today?
Can't you go on civilian clothes?

Speaker 24 (17:29):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (17:29):
Sir, this is a military occasion. And by George, Hey,
hammy my blouse?

Speaker 19 (17:33):
Will I take these last two mothballs out of it?

Speaker 23 (17:37):
Well?

Speaker 19 (17:37):
Heavenly days, look at that square mothballs hu with little
black spots on her?

Speaker 11 (17:46):
Oh my gosh, so that's where those how many spots
on top?

Speaker 19 (17:49):
Well there's four spots on one and three on the other.

Speaker 22 (17:52):
Well, how do you like that?

Speaker 11 (17:53):
Unnatural? After all these years? Not a dime riding on it?

Speaker 34 (18:00):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (18:00):
Hey, this thing is shrunk, hasn't it?

Speaker 33 (18:02):
No?

Speaker 19 (18:02):
I don't think so. You're just bigger in the chest.

Speaker 22 (18:05):
Yeah, I guess I have to.

Speaker 19 (18:06):
Don't forget your chest is in a different place now too.

Speaker 11 (18:10):
Well, gee wish, can't I.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Mister McGee, mister McGee, are you? Oh, mister McGee, you're
always cloning?

Speaker 27 (18:21):
What a costume?

Speaker 19 (18:23):
Now take it easy, Alice, that's his old army uniform?

Speaker 3 (18:26):
Oh gee, I thought maybe he was in a player
or something.

Speaker 11 (18:30):
My dear child, don't you realize that one of our
greatest problems today is how to treat the returning serviceman.
Don't you realize that you can't pick up a magazine
today without reading an article about don't do this, don't
do that, do this, do that, don't talk to him
about the war. Do talk to him about the war.
Until a civilian is sadarn nervous, he can't talk to
anybody about anything.

Speaker 19 (18:51):
Yeah, and it's a lot of ballet scotta. If you
ask me, treat them like they were people.

Speaker 31 (18:55):
I always say, But I don't understand. Mister McGhee. You
haven't been a return sir this man for twenty five years.
Haven't you got over it yet?

Speaker 19 (19:06):
An interesting question?

Speaker 11 (19:08):
Look, Alice, you remember Mayor La Trivia.

Speaker 35 (19:11):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Sure, he was that big, handsome man that went into
the coast Guard.

Speaker 19 (19:15):
Well he's coming home today, Alice. He's been in the
Pacific for three years.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Creepers, and they finally picked him up.

Speaker 11 (19:25):
He hasn't been in the Pacific all that time, Alice.
He's been on the Pacific, New Guinea, Hollan days, Lynn
Guy and Golf and all in places.

Speaker 19 (19:35):
He's now a chief pretty officer, happy officer. Well, I
think he's pretty.

Speaker 11 (19:42):
I'm telling you a chief petty officer.

Speaker 28 (19:44):
Who what was that?

Speaker 19 (19:47):
Just a button off his block? Alice, you better stand
off the one side of him he's loaded.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Well, I think that uniform is very interesting. But why
has he got his legs all bandaged up?

Speaker 27 (20:05):
Their close veins?

Speaker 11 (20:08):
Those are putties, Alice, wrap around leggings. Oh my guys,
didn't you ever see a uniform from the First World War?

Speaker 36 (20:15):
The Big War?

Speaker 11 (20:19):
The one Riddy Eckenbacker and I were in.

Speaker 19 (20:22):
Is Eddie Rickenbacker in before she was born? Dearie, Oh
do you have to go out?

Speaker 31 (20:26):
Yes, I've got to go to the airplane plant and
get my tools. They're reconverting and I'm laid off. And
about time too. I helped make so many airplanes there
I got so I wanted one myself.

Speaker 11 (20:36):
What are they gonna make now, Alice?

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Baby carriages? Well see you later, missus McGee.

Speaker 31 (20:44):
If I, miss McGee, I think your uniform is simply
Oh brother, what.

Speaker 11 (20:58):
Was she snickering about? Is this you form? Look that funny?

Speaker 14 (21:01):
Why?

Speaker 19 (21:01):
Of course not, Dearie, this looks lovely.

Speaker 11 (21:03):
I think so too.

Speaker 19 (21:04):
With those white tennis shoes in the polk about bow tie.
You're the snapyest looking soldiers, you.

Speaker 11 (21:11):
Answered the phone, Molly, I'm still kind of dizzy from
wrapping these leggings.

Speaker 19 (21:14):
All right, where is the pone?

Speaker 6 (21:16):
Oh?

Speaker 19 (21:16):
Here tis right where we left the June twenty sixth
seventy nine wistful vister Moley McGee speaking. Oh hello Missus
Carstairs water buffet. Yeah you are why we'd simply be
delighted to missus Cayston. What oh just me, I see
you're the chairman of yes.

Speaker 11 (21:36):
But that old tomato surprise, as chairman of so many committees.
She has her gloves made with built in gabbles.

Speaker 19 (21:42):
Yeah, oh well, thank you so much, Missus Carrstairs. Goodbye McGee.
You know what, no what, Missus Carrstairs is in charge
of the reception committee for Marrily Trivia.

Speaker 34 (21:51):
Huh.

Speaker 19 (21:51):
And they're all going to meet him at the railroad
station and she's going to make a speech of welcome.

Speaker 11 (21:55):
Hey hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, I got
a speech. All rode out And if that diamond studded
old mud runner thinks she's gonna.

Speaker 19 (22:02):
Get it, and she's gonna have the paride with Marily
Trivia in the backseat of her car, and she's asked
me to ride with him, and I said you'd be
with me, and she said they wouldn't be room for you.
So I'll ju just a minute there, hold everything and
look deary she I.

Speaker 11 (22:13):
Don't care what she said. Nobody's going to finagle me
out of this thing. Where's my overseas cat you lost.

Speaker 19 (22:18):
It at the Legion convention in nineteen thirty six.

Speaker 11 (22:23):
Then I'll wear my air raid warden helmet? Where's my
air raid warden helmet? By George the World War better
than I think I'm entitled. Oh I know where my
air raid warden helmet is. Where it's right here in
the hall.

Speaker 19 (22:33):
Oh no again, No, not the very first.

Speaker 11 (22:35):
Time, Craig out that closing one of these days. Ah,
here's my old air raid warden helmet.

Speaker 28 (23:06):
The King's Men sing along the Navajo Trail.

Speaker 37 (23:10):
Every day, along about even when the sun lights begin
into pace.

Speaker 28 (23:18):
I ride through the slumber.

Speaker 38 (23:21):
And shadows, along along along the naval train.

Speaker 37 (23:27):
When it's nice and crickets are calling, and coyotes I'm
making away.

Speaker 28 (23:36):
I dream by a smaller fire along the Naval train.

Speaker 38 (23:45):
I love to lie listen to the music when the
wind is playing the sage rise guitar.

Speaker 13 (23:54):
Where all beyond the hill the moon is climming.

Speaker 37 (23:59):
He'll always me wishing on the start. What you know,
it's more than already there's a do so silver and pails.
It's time to climb into.

Speaker 38 (24:14):
My saddle and go ride and go riding along namable
train on why the creature column and kyl I'm making away?

Speaker 39 (24:29):
I dream by a smallering tr.

Speaker 38 (24:35):
I dream about the Namaha train one along.

Speaker 7 (24:40):
It's more an already there's a do begin into play.

Speaker 38 (24:47):
It's time to climb into my saddle and ride, ride
to ride an amabo train.

Speaker 11 (25:07):
So, missus Carstairs, it took over the whole of trivia
welcome celebration?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Has she is?

Speaker 27 (25:13):
She has to?

Speaker 11 (25:14):
Where are you meeting her at her house? Or she
picking you up in her forty cylinder Lincoln, the one
that was given to her by Lincoln himself, because she
looks so much like George Washington.

Speaker 19 (25:26):
Oh, now, for goodness sakes, McGee, Missus Carr Stairs never
did a thing to you. Why do you dislike her
so much?

Speaker 11 (25:32):
Because she's rich and I'm poor? I know that ain't reasonable,
but it's human, and the way I dislike her, I'm superhuman.

Speaker 19 (25:40):
Well, for goodness sakes, try not to be more well
come in well heavenly days, doctor Gamble.

Speaker 18 (25:46):
Hello, my dear, nice to see you. How are you,
super mouse? What's that uniform? Western Union?

Speaker 11 (25:55):
My old army outfit? Arrowsmith?

Speaker 14 (25:57):
Well, how you been?

Speaker 11 (25:58):
How to spend the summer kid?

Speaker 36 (25:59):
Oh, honey?

Speaker 18 (26:00):
And fishing and hiking? Really, doctor, Yes, hunting vacant beds
in hospitals, fishing for appendices, and hiking thirty miles a
day through maternity wards, great little vacation.

Speaker 11 (26:11):
Thirty years a doctor, and can't say appendixes, Well, you
don't look at day older, doc, not a day older
than one hundred and six.

Speaker 19 (26:19):
Hey did you hear about Mayor La Trivia coming home
from the Coastguard today?

Speaker 11 (26:22):
Doctor?

Speaker 18 (26:23):
I did, indeed, my dear, And it'll be a great
day for wistful this day. Those addle pated incompetence in
the town hall needs somebody who knows a parking ordinance
from a sewer assessment.

Speaker 11 (26:33):
The Trivia is the best mayor we ever had. He's
the only politician in town that can wear a silk
hat without looking like jig sneaking out at any more saloons.

Speaker 19 (26:41):
And his swallow tail coat never looks like it has
spent the summer at Capestrano either.

Speaker 18 (26:47):
I'm depending on him to help get the city some
new ambulances. So those two broken down fracture trucks we
have now spends so much time in the repair shop.
My patients get to the hospital smelling like diesels.

Speaker 19 (27:01):
This has been a pretty hard time for the doctors
who had to stay home, hasn't it.

Speaker 11 (27:04):
Oh, don't let this four flesh and old artery pincher kids,
You baby, what's such hard work about tearing off eight
inches of adhesive tape four times?

Speaker 14 (27:13):
He did?

Speaker 34 (27:17):
You know?

Speaker 18 (27:17):
He's right, Molly, it's really a soft touch. If I
hadn't been given a beautiful new stethoscope for Christmas, I'd
give up medicine and go straight.

Speaker 11 (27:29):
Tired of it?

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Tired of it?

Speaker 18 (27:31):
Did you have a try making a living by having
people stick their tongues out at you?

Speaker 19 (27:36):
Yes, he did, doctor. He used to work in the
railroad ticket off Aha, douchee.

Speaker 11 (27:42):
I never wore one.

Speaker 13 (27:45):
Well, well, I see it's.

Speaker 18 (27:46):
The reception full of trivia this afternoon.

Speaker 11 (27:48):
McGhee.

Speaker 18 (27:48):
I'm on Missus Costas committee.

Speaker 11 (27:50):
What is everybody on that committee but me?

Speaker 19 (27:52):
What's the matter with me?

Speaker 18 (27:54):
We went into that subject at a luncheon meeting, but
we had to adjourn for dinner.

Speaker 14 (27:57):
So we never arrived at the conclude.

Speaker 18 (28:01):
Good day, my dear, so on corn Borer.

Speaker 11 (28:11):
This is a fine state of how do you do
Mayor la Trivia's best friend? And they don't even ask
me to be on the welcoming committee.

Speaker 19 (28:16):
Well, my goodness, there there'd be such a crowd at
the station you won't have a chance to talk to
mister Latrivian.

Speaker 7 (28:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (28:20):
But the point is I'm being froze out. If I
knew what train he was coming in on, I'd go
to the next town of the line and I'd tell all.

Speaker 19 (28:26):
Faulk, Hello there, mister Wilcox. My goodness, we haven't seen
you for eighty.

Speaker 11 (28:30):
All right, junior? What you've been doing since we saw
your lass?

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Spending most of my time at the golf course? Say,
did you hear about Mayor Latrivia coming home today?

Speaker 19 (28:36):
No, indeed we did, mister Wilcox. Isn't it wonderful? I'm
gonna ride in missus Carstairs automobile in the parade.

Speaker 28 (28:42):
Oh, swell me too, I'm on our committee.

Speaker 11 (28:44):
What you too, Carstairs? Molly doc gambling?

Speaker 13 (28:48):
Now you what's going on here?

Speaker 11 (28:49):
Anyway? Am I being intentionally left out of this?

Speaker 4 (28:52):
I'll look, I have nothing to do with it now,
missus Carstairs is handling a whole celebration. And I'll bet
La Trivia will be mighty happy to be a civilian again.

Speaker 19 (28:59):
I suppose he will. All the men formed some very
strong friendships in the service, McGee, did I know?

Speaker 11 (29:05):
I sure did? And speaking of friendships, I'll never forget
what my sergeant says to me today. I was discharged.
Three little words that changed the whole course of my life.

Speaker 19 (29:13):
What were they? McGee? Those three little words?

Speaker 11 (29:16):
Well, sir, there we were just off the boat at
Newport News, fellas that had been through thin and thick together,
thin underwear and thick mud, aught and bled together buddies. Well, sir,
we knew lots of us would never see lots of
us again, And it was kind of well, kind of sentimental.

(29:38):
All of a sudden my sergeant comes up to me
and puts his arms round my shoulders and says, those
three little words, go home, civilian.

Speaker 4 (29:48):
Hey, what outfit were you in judged by that uniform
you've got on you were with the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Speaker 11 (29:55):
Can't tell you that, junior. I can only give you
my name, rank and serial number, international law security reasons,
you know.

Speaker 19 (30:01):
Oh, don't be stilly, McGee. Don't be silly. That was
twenty five years ago.

Speaker 11 (30:08):
Sure it was in the War Department. Would still like
to know who stole that box carpool Ah, those were
thrilling s Indeed, did I ever tell you how I
want the croudy gear?

Speaker 28 (30:20):
Did you win the quad of gear? Really?

Speaker 7 (30:22):
I want it?

Speaker 11 (30:22):
Or but I didn't get it?

Speaker 14 (30:25):
Jealousy?

Speaker 34 (30:25):
You know?

Speaker 11 (30:26):
You see two other guys in me kidnapped Von Hendenburg
one night.

Speaker 27 (30:29):
McGhee.

Speaker 19 (30:29):
You never told me that.

Speaker 11 (30:31):
I was afraid it might frighten you.

Speaker 40 (30:34):
It did me.

Speaker 11 (30:36):
Anyway. We kept von Hendenberg prisoner in the little patch
of woods behind the German lines, hammered questions at him
all night long with a band that stuck.

Speaker 14 (30:43):
In his back.

Speaker 11 (30:45):
He answered every question too. When he'd answered everything, we
threw him out and went back to our own lines.

Speaker 28 (30:50):
With some pretty valuable information too.

Speaker 11 (30:52):
I guess I would have had some valuable information junior.
But none of us understood German. Oh, we never knew
exactly what he told us. But that's enough about me, Junior.
I don't like to talk about my experiences since when

(31:13):
say you say you spent most of the summer on
the golf course, Junior? Yeah, did you You suppose those
certain people up there and you know, Wisconsin, the folks
and you know the stuff. I think they'd approve of that.

Speaker 28 (31:22):
You mean they're Johnson Wax people and Racine. Sure they
loved it.

Speaker 19 (31:25):
You mean they approved that you're wasting the summer playing.

Speaker 28 (31:27):
Golf, playing golf. Oh, I don't play golf, But.

Speaker 19 (31:30):
You said you spent most of the summer on the
golf course.

Speaker 11 (31:32):
What were you doing trapping golfers?

Speaker 6 (31:35):
No?

Speaker 28 (31:35):
I just sat there on the first team with my
bag of clubs.

Speaker 11 (31:41):
You do it, Molly, No, you do it. Somebody's got
to do it.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Well, we'd both do it.

Speaker 19 (31:48):
What were you doing, mister Wilcox, sitting on the first
team with.

Speaker 11 (31:50):
Your bag of clubs if you don't play.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Golf, that's a very interesting question. Well, I had a
can of Johnson's wax sitting beside me. You see, Yes,
I sure did. It was the perfect demonstration of Johnson's
wax for wood, for leather, for enameled surfaces.

Speaker 28 (32:12):
I'd wax my golf shoes and the golf bag leather,
then my clubs wood.

Speaker 11 (32:17):
They use steel clubs nowadays waxy.

Speaker 28 (32:18):
Ah, who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 4 (32:19):
Then I'd wax all my golf balls enamel while So
by that time there'd be a crowd around me watching,
and I'd give them a short pitch on Johnson's wax.
How it protects against the elements, preserves the finish, seals
the pores against dust and dampness, and how it adds
life and beauty for so many things.

Speaker 28 (32:34):
Oh, say you're going down to meet the trivia apow.

Speaker 11 (32:37):
You couldn't keep me away with a ten foot pool
named Stanoslas Wallenski.

Speaker 19 (32:40):
See there, mister Wilcy, right, goodbye.

Speaker 11 (32:43):
Ah, good old waxy, good old waxy. I love the
way he tightens up and gets so excited when he
talks about Johnson's wax.

Speaker 19 (32:57):
What do you suppose causes that surface tension?

Speaker 11 (32:59):
Of course I should have known, Mathema.

Speaker 19 (33:02):
Come in, missus carrstairs, How nice to see you.

Speaker 41 (33:06):
Good afternoon, my dear, you're looking very well.

Speaker 11 (33:10):
Hi Carsty, Look, I got a bone to pick with you.

Speaker 19 (33:13):
How delightful?

Speaker 41 (33:15):
And then shall we bark at the automobiles for an
hour or so?

Speaker 19 (33:20):
And he just wonders why you didn't ask him to
be on the welcoming committee for Mayor La Trivia.

Speaker 11 (33:25):
Missus Carstairs, don't you know that La Trivia and I
are extremely good friends? CARSTI I do. Did you realize that,
with me being an ex serviceman myself, I might be
the logical person to handle a difficult situation like this?
Don't you think it would be fitting for one war
hero to welcome the other war hero? May I ask
why you deliberately give me the Hindu shuffle on this deal?

Speaker 19 (33:44):
Pray do pray do hot, missus Carstairs, pray.

Speaker 11 (33:47):
Ask me, okay, what was the idea of including me
out of this celebration?

Speaker 40 (33:53):
Since you are so insistent, mister McGee, it was at
the request of Mayor La Trivia himself. We have corresponded
with him concerning his arrival, and he said in his
last telegram and die quote and please see that fibber
McGee is kept in the background unquote.

Speaker 11 (34:11):
Please see that Fiver McGee is kept in the background.

Speaker 10 (34:15):
Uh.

Speaker 39 (34:16):
Shaw.

Speaker 11 (34:17):
I think that's the finest compliment a man ever had.

Speaker 19 (34:20):
Did you say compliment, deary?

Speaker 11 (34:22):
Why don't you get it? At La Trivia is so sentimental.
He's afraid if he sees me, the first thing he'll
do he'll just go all to pieces. Can't trust himself.
Imagine him being so emotional.

Speaker 40 (34:33):
Well, now that we've settled that, to mister McGee's satisfaction,
and a remarkably cheap settlement, it was, May I have
a word with you, my dear?

Speaker 19 (34:41):
Why of course, missus Carstairs, pardon us, deary?

Speaker 13 (34:44):
Why sure?

Speaker 40 (34:45):
Now it's for the arrangements, my dear. We all meet
down at the railroad station and form a group at
the gate. So when may of the Triviu's plane comes in,
I'll be ready.

Speaker 11 (34:53):
Please keep Friver McGee in the background. Ah, I'm going
to treasure them words as long as I am there.
Why do I think that all the you think so
much for moving?

Speaker 19 (35:45):
Heaven leave days? What a nan hillis station is? I
don't know why the railroads can't arrange to have their
trains come in someplace that isn't so crowded. I wonder
where missus Carston ah that she is you missus carstairs?

Speaker 41 (35:56):
You there, my dear, is that awful little earth? Is
your husband with you?

Speaker 13 (36:02):
No?

Speaker 41 (36:02):
No, he isn't.

Speaker 19 (36:03):
He just walked out of the house, muttering something about
staying in the background. He says, oh, look, missus, guy says,
there's mister Willcox and doctor gamble your oh boy, he's
over here.

Speaker 18 (36:13):
Hello, Molly, Hello, Milicen Hollo and I were wondering what
train are wandering. Coastguardsman was coming in on.

Speaker 28 (36:19):
Never and a sentence with a preposition, Doc, I'm.

Speaker 18 (36:22):
Old enough to end a sentence with a split infinitive
if I want to, and I want to, but I
can't think of one.

Speaker 28 (36:29):
Where's little Napoleon?

Speaker 18 (36:30):
Molly, don't tell me he's gonna miss this glorious opportunity
to make a silly ass of himself.

Speaker 19 (36:35):
Well, he just disappeared.

Speaker 42 (36:36):
Doctor.

Speaker 40 (36:37):
I intentionally failed to tell him that there would be
a newswheel cameraman here. I think you will agree that
mister McGee is not our most photogenic citizen.

Speaker 28 (36:45):
You're not whistling, Dixie bear, Lady.

Speaker 11 (36:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 19 (36:48):
I think McGee photographs very well. He has and no,
it's just like bob hole.

Speaker 18 (36:53):
Yes and he has shoulders like Clark Gable, one on
each side.

Speaker 11 (36:57):
However, that morph eat and no use to me.

Speaker 43 (37:00):
Please Train number thirty one, the cinder Bucket will arrive
in two minutes on Track three from East Saint Louis
kankakeem Molean, Jolliette, and oddly enough avan A Cuba.

Speaker 41 (37:18):
Come along, gentlemen, we must see at the gate to
welcome the Maya.

Speaker 28 (37:23):
Yeah, well, where's La Trivia?

Speaker 18 (37:34):
I don't see anybody in uniform on that train except
that dumpy little guy in it.

Speaker 28 (37:38):
Oh now, wait a minute, it can't.

Speaker 19 (37:40):
Be mean David's McGee. McGee, how did you get on
there alright?

Speaker 40 (37:45):
Qs with this mister de Trivia right behind him trying
to see what's going on?

Speaker 41 (37:50):
Move us side, mister McGee, Move US side.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Look at La Trivia trying to peek over McGee's shoulder.
He looks like the middle Andrew's sister.

Speaker 11 (38:01):
Plad And gentlemen, it is my powerply.

Speaker 44 (38:06):
Awesome Mayor to welcome home from the South Pacific, Chief
gunners Mate, his honor Mayor of Trivia.

Speaker 28 (38:14):
Thank you, my friend.

Speaker 13 (38:15):
Needless to say, I've looked forward with a great deal
of place.

Speaker 11 (38:18):
Trivia. I wasn't through yet, folks.

Speaker 44 (38:22):
Since I climbed the board at the edge of town,
I have been briefing with Trivia on how to conduct
himself in Savinian nights. I've been telling him he can't
expect to go into the first story he comes to
and buy a girdle.

Speaker 41 (38:35):
Come come, mister Mayor. We have a car waiting for you.

Speaker 28 (38:38):
Thank you, missus costays, and it's wonderful to see you again.

Speaker 18 (38:40):
I was just telling the Trivia that the cigarette Situaivia
you see gone ward heeler Hawi boy.

Speaker 13 (38:46):
Doc Gamble, Why you bold headed old midwife ha ha,
Well to see you and hollow Wilcock.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
Welcome home, pal. We've been keeping the ballot boxes hot
for you.

Speaker 9 (38:55):
Well, I must say, well, Molly McGee, Hello, Molly, Hello,
mister Mayor.

Speaker 14 (39:01):
I this is set.

Speaker 44 (39:03):
I've been telling the Trivia about what else Savillia has
been through while he was out there and then lazy
old south Sea Islands, folks.

Speaker 43 (39:09):
I told him that he ought to please train number
thirty one, the cinder bucket now leaving on track three.

Speaker 7 (39:15):
Oh well, wait a minute, my douffle bag, I must
have blessed out the brain McGee would.

Speaker 19 (39:23):
You miw I'll get the trivia?

Speaker 7 (39:25):
How pray McGhee?

Speaker 9 (39:29):
Well, I must say, folks, And when McGee got on
the train at the edge of town, I rec't PI
on the trivia.

Speaker 19 (39:34):
Okay, get off, McGee, get out quick now, John't it's
gone too fast, heady.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
Bring me up, train.

Speaker 19 (39:46):
All apart.

Speaker 41 (39:49):
Pardon me, mister Mayer, but this is your duffel bag
right here, isn't it?

Speaker 13 (39:55):
Yes?

Speaker 14 (39:55):
Isn't it now?

Speaker 13 (39:58):
As I was saying, when McGee got on the tra
at the edge of town, I would read.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Every now and then, I feel that I should say
something extra special about the newest form of Johnson's wax
to make sure you know about this new cream wax
that was developed for furniture and woodwork. It's quite different
from the regular liquid and paste wax. It's a white
liquid and it contains several cleansing ingredients so that it
does an amazing cleaning job. You can make this test

(41:24):
in just a moment. Apply a little cream wax with
a cloth to a strip of light colored woodwork or
your window sill or refrigerator. Take a stretch that has
smudgy fingerprints or other dirt, and notice how this disappears instantly.
Then with a minimum of rubbing, you give furniture and
woodwork a soft, satiny wax luster that, believe me, is beautiful.

(41:46):
This wax finish is dry, not oily, so dirt and
dust don't cling to it. It gives furniture and woodwork
real wax protection, and it makes your housework easier, even
if you already have the paste or liquid Johnson's wax
on hand.

Speaker 28 (42:00):
Just try one bottle of cream wax. People really like.

Speaker 11 (42:03):
It, ladies and gentlemen. Several years ago there was a
young fellow singing with the orchestra on this program, and

(42:25):
he was a nice kid, and everybody liked him. In fact,
everybody liked him so much there making him one of
the top singing stars of today. His name is Harry.

Speaker 19 (42:34):
Como, and our congratulations and best wishes to him.

Speaker 11 (42:37):
Then a little later there was a drummer with Billy
Mills's orchestra. But he had something besides a set of
skins and a wire brush. He had ideas. Those ideas
are now making him a miserable little fortune.

Speaker 13 (42:50):
You know what we mean.

Speaker 19 (42:51):
Spike Jones, nice gollin Spike.

Speaker 11 (42:54):
And there was an actor named Harold Perry. After seven
or eight years with us, he decided to crime didn't pay,
and as the great Guilder Sleeve, he's making Sunday night
radio history. More power to him.

Speaker 19 (43:06):
And last but not least, from these little Tuesday Night
Winnie roasts, there came a character named Beulah. We want
to extend our congratulations and all good wishes to Marlon
Hurt and his own Bulah show.

Speaker 11 (43:18):
Which all just goes to prove folks that class will tell.

Speaker 19 (43:21):
Yeah, yeah, who knows. Maybe some day McGee and I'll
have a show of our very own, but that's for
the future. Good Night all.

Speaker 45 (43:49):
Harwell, Dog speaking for the makers of Johnson's Wax finishes
for home and Industry, providing you all to be with
us again next Thursday Night. Stay tune now for Bob
Hope and remember a very few days a bigger comedy
Knight than ever with your old friend Jamison Andy being
heard just before Bibber McGee Molly, good night.

Speaker 28 (44:08):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.

Speaker 7 (44:11):
He's right.

Speaker 8 (44:11):
All those shows spun off from when all those people
got legs up from Bibber and Molly eighty years ago.
October two, nineteen forty five, Biver McGinn molly on Classic
Radio Theater with Wyatt Coos Harold Perry, speaking of which
the Great Gilder Sleeve will be up next.

Speaker 46 (44:36):
This is art link letter an event of atomic bombing
or some other catastrophe. Here's something important to remember. It
will help save lives, including your own. Do not use
the telephone. Leave the line open for official rescue and relief.
This is your part in civil defense. Remember, don't use

(44:57):
the phone, leave the line clear for safety of your
own life and the lives of others.

Speaker 8 (45:03):
These days very few people use the phone, well except
to didn't it. We used to talk on They used
the text on Now Harold Perry, The Great Gilder Sleep
seventy nine years ago October two, nineteen forty six. Bad
news for Guildy.

Speaker 7 (45:20):
The Craft Foods Company presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. It's

(45:40):
the Great Guilder Sleeves Darring Harold Perry, brought to you
by the Craft Foods Company, makers of Park Morgarin and
the complete line of famous quality food products.

Speaker 28 (45:55):
Now let's see what's been happening to Guildersleeve.

Speaker 47 (45:57):
Well, it's plenty. Into the Quiet of Summerfield via the
US mail. A bomb has dropped. Everyone who is anyone
in Summerfield has received this morning a creamy white envelope
roughly four x six with a postmark of Savannah, Georgia.

Speaker 22 (46:14):
No bargain offer this.

Speaker 47 (46:19):
Eagerly, we pry open the flap, taking care not to
cut our fingers so fine and crisp the stationary inside
and a second envelope with our name inscribed upon it,
nothing else. We pause a moment to admire the penmanship,
and dive inside again.

Speaker 7 (46:38):
Ah.

Speaker 47 (46:39):
A whisp of tissue paper flutters to the floor. We
rub our thumb across the engraving our eyes focus and behold.

Speaker 10 (46:55):
Mister missus Tupper Heavyway request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their niece Leela Berrington Ransom to
doctor Julian Henry Culpepper on October ninth, nineteen hundred and

(47:19):
forty six, at half after four, Church of the Rebellion.
Savannah jojo.

Speaker 27 (47:35):
Yes.

Speaker 48 (47:35):
The whole town's talking about it.

Speaker 47 (47:37):
Long before breakfast, the neighbor's cook lily became hot footing
it across the street and the round of the kitchen
door with the news. So though the invitation lies unopened
beside Guildersleve's plate at breakfast. Birdie knows full well what's
in it, and she's briefed the children accordingly.

Speaker 42 (47:52):
Now, remember what I told you, Leroy, be.

Speaker 14 (47:54):
Nice to him.

Speaker 5 (47:55):
I always are, well a little nicer than that.

Speaker 34 (47:58):
You got to realize, Leroy, this is to be kind
of hard on your uncle, missus Ransom getting married like that?

Speaker 41 (48:03):
Why she isn't marrying him?

Speaker 27 (48:06):
LeRoi?

Speaker 7 (48:07):
Have you no feeling sure?

Speaker 42 (48:09):
On second thought, I think I'll just shove the invitation
out of sight here under his butter. Please, here he comes.
I just act like nothing happened, remember now, like nothing happened.

Speaker 22 (48:18):
Ah, good morning, Oh, good morning, good morning, good morning,
I said, good morning.

Speaker 42 (48:25):
Morning, mystic Hill's sleep. I'll go get your breakfast right away.

Speaker 49 (48:31):
Why Gie, good morning, Unkie, LeRoi. No word of reading
for your uncle? By Well, what are you two staring.

Speaker 27 (48:45):
At, LeRoi? When you pass the sugar? Sugar?

Speaker 25 (48:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 41 (48:48):
Sure they are, Marge sugar. Excuse me for not passing
it before. I didn't notice she didn't have it.

Speaker 19 (48:54):
Oh that's all right.

Speaker 41 (48:55):
There's some salt.

Speaker 27 (48:56):
You got salt there?

Speaker 6 (48:58):
Yes, yes, I've had the salt things.

Speaker 27 (48:59):
I just wanted the sugar for my cocoa, I marmalade.

Speaker 22 (49:03):
You want some marmalade?

Speaker 5 (49:04):
Or I have some?

Speaker 27 (49:05):
I have plenty. Oh, but thank you, just to say
that's all right.

Speaker 22 (49:09):
Anything you want, just ask for it.

Speaker 14 (49:11):
Extraordinary? No mail come this morning?

Speaker 22 (49:17):
There you want the saltier, say mich.

Speaker 14 (49:19):
She just had the salt. What's going on here?

Speaker 28 (49:25):
Bertie?

Speaker 14 (49:26):
Did no mail come this morning?

Speaker 42 (49:28):
What'd you say?

Speaker 14 (49:30):
I asked, if there wasn't any mail this morning?

Speaker 33 (49:33):
No?

Speaker 42 (49:34):
So that is hard, Lenny. Just the one thing there?

Speaker 14 (49:37):
What thing?

Speaker 42 (49:38):
Whatever?

Speaker 33 (49:38):
It is?

Speaker 13 (49:39):
Well?

Speaker 14 (49:39):
Where where is it?

Speaker 22 (49:41):
Under the butter plate, under the fine plate.

Speaker 42 (49:44):
I've better run out of the kitchen and see anything.

Speaker 14 (49:45):
Bert what's the matter with her? Mmmm?

Speaker 22 (49:51):
Savannah Georgia, I have a sugar and Ali Roy.

Speaker 14 (49:54):
If you you you can spare it, aren't you? Go
oberke later? Just a wedding invitation for missus? How about
that sugar? What's the matter with you?

Speaker 22 (50:05):
Boys?

Speaker 19 (50:05):
Bertie? Full of baloney?

Speaker 27 (50:07):
But when did you find out? An kie?

Speaker 14 (50:09):
Why not?

Speaker 22 (50:10):
What about missus Ramsey getting married? Oh, I've known about
that for a long time. She told me last night.
She said she wanted me to be the first to know.
And you don't mind, nuh that was all over years ago.
Leland is a fine girl. I wish her every happiness.
But as far as I am concerned, Bertie, what's keeping

(50:31):
you out there?

Speaker 19 (50:33):
I'm mister Gilsleeve.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Did your uncle Mart's ready?

Speaker 27 (50:35):
Bertie?

Speaker 6 (50:35):
You can take his plate. Oh and incidentally, he knows
all about everything, so you don't need to worry.

Speaker 22 (50:39):
Yeah, don't worry about me, mister Gilsleeve.

Speaker 42 (50:42):
It ain't none of my business, of course, But I
just want you to know. I well, I just want
you to know, that's all.

Speaker 7 (50:48):
See.

Speaker 42 (50:48):
I made you some nice milk coast this morning.

Speaker 14 (50:51):
Milk toast?

Speaker 24 (50:52):
What for?

Speaker 28 (50:53):
Well?

Speaker 34 (50:54):
I knew you wouldn't probably be feeling so good, and
they ain't nothing Sits easy on the stomach in time
of trouble.

Speaker 42 (50:59):
And milk toast.

Speaker 22 (51:00):
I can't stand milk toast, Bertie? What do I want
with milk toast?

Speaker 14 (51:03):
Anyway?

Speaker 22 (51:03):
I feel fine?

Speaker 14 (51:04):
See I doorbell, I'll let Bertie.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
I'll get it.

Speaker 41 (51:08):
Yes, yes, oh, good morning, Judge, come in.

Speaker 32 (51:13):
I won't stay at a very few minutes, Berdie, mister gildersleeved,
I won't stay but a few minutes.

Speaker 19 (51:19):
He's right in the dining room there, Hello, Judge.

Speaker 15 (51:24):
Guilty old man.

Speaker 14 (51:27):
What are we shaking hands for?

Speaker 27 (51:29):
Good morning? Judge?

Speaker 32 (51:30):
Hi, Marjorie Leroy. I wonder if I could have a
word with your uncle in private, just for a moment.

Speaker 31 (51:36):
Certain we gotta go to school anyway, Come on, mard,
what's up, judge.

Speaker 5 (51:42):
Guilt the old man? Anything.

Speaker 32 (51:44):
I can do anything at all, You know that, old man.
Just call on me, Call on you for what anything?
Are you planning to go to the office today? Certainly,
good work is the best medicine, they say. I'd offer
to drive you down, but I think the walk would
do you good. The important thing is not to let
this prey on your mind. I know how you feel,

(52:05):
old man.

Speaker 11 (52:05):
I don't want you to think.

Speaker 13 (52:07):
I feel fine.

Speaker 5 (52:09):
That's the stuff. Try to keep that up. It's the
only way to hold on to yourself.

Speaker 39 (52:14):
Chin up.

Speaker 5 (52:16):
Never admit for a minute, even to.

Speaker 22 (52:17):
Your Smissen, you've got me all wrong, Horace. I feel fine.

Speaker 11 (52:21):
We'll wait for you.

Speaker 5 (52:22):
Keep telling yourself that.

Speaker 14 (52:25):
Listen, you, old goat. I feel fine.

Speaker 22 (52:28):
You understand I feel fine. I'm fine.

Speaker 23 (52:42):
Hello, peev me.

Speaker 15 (52:46):
Oh, I didn't think we'd be seeing you today.

Speaker 22 (52:50):
I don't know why not. I'm in here all the time.
I guess you might as well take some cigars as
long as I'm here. Peev, I'd like some cigars.

Speaker 26 (53:00):
Mister Gallilee, Well, there are some things that are very
hard for a man to say. But we'd like you
to know, missus Pev and I that we well, that
we'd like you to come to dinner.

Speaker 22 (53:14):
Well, it's very nice. I'd be delighted to come.

Speaker 26 (53:16):
I'm an older man and you are, mister Gisleeve, and
I've had my share of disappointments too.

Speaker 15 (53:21):
I'd just like to say that I.

Speaker 14 (53:24):
Know how you what's the matter with everybody? I feel fine?
You hear that, Pev? I feel fine. Good morning, Bessie.

Speaker 27 (53:39):
Oh, mister gul Sleep. Oh I don't know what to say, but.

Speaker 22 (53:44):
Don't say it, Bessie, Yes, sir, what are these?

Speaker 29 (53:51):
What?

Speaker 7 (53:51):
Sir?

Speaker 22 (53:52):
On my desk?

Speaker 14 (53:53):
Here?

Speaker 27 (53:53):
There are roses?

Speaker 22 (53:54):
Get them out of here. I'm sorry, Bessie, but I
can't stand all this sympathy. He God's a man has
no private life of his own. In this time. You
try to wind up something quietly, and the next morning
everybody's looking at you, everybody butting in and telling you
they know how you feel.

Speaker 14 (54:11):
Don't you try to tell me.

Speaker 13 (54:12):
How I feel.

Speaker 14 (54:13):
I feel fine, I'm very happy about the whole thing. Yes, sir, good.
Somebody came in to see who it is you?

Speaker 22 (54:21):
Anybody hear Leila?

Speaker 5 (54:23):
Now?

Speaker 13 (54:23):
What is.

Speaker 19 (54:27):
Just a minute? I'll ask him? Oh well, don't bob.

Speaker 42 (54:32):
Rack mo you poor doll?

Speaker 22 (54:38):
How are you fine? And dandy?

Speaker 14 (54:41):
Lelai? Never better?

Speaker 31 (54:43):
I'm glad to see you taking it this way. I
knew you would.

Speaker 19 (54:47):
You have so much character you.

Speaker 31 (54:53):
I'm afraid I've come to ask a favor of yous.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
Rock Mawa and not a terrible.

Speaker 22 (55:00):
At nine o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 31 (55:01):
Oh gracious, I've been up for hours. I'm trying to
get everything packed forul when I go home for the wedding.
And do you know something awful? I can't get half
my things into my trunks.

Speaker 22 (55:12):
Maybe you'd better just give up the whole idea.

Speaker 31 (55:14):
Oh silly, I wondered if you'd mind too terribly much
just expressing a few things for me.

Speaker 14 (55:20):
Oh, of course not.

Speaker 31 (55:21):
The only thing is y'all haven't anything to pack them in.
You'd have to get some crank to something.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
But you wouldn't mind.

Speaker 31 (55:28):
No, he would only take you a couple of evenings. Probably,
I'll give you a key in case I'm not there.

Speaker 50 (55:34):
My shay all right, A couple of evenings, well, Fish,
quite a lot of it.

Speaker 31 (55:39):
I think it's terribly generous of you to offer to
do it track Mard and I can't tell you how
grateful I am.

Speaker 3 (55:46):
I know Julian Henry will be grateful too.

Speaker 22 (55:49):
Julian Henry, you know I think you're just.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
A little bit jealous of Julian Henry.

Speaker 22 (55:56):
I wish you every happiness, Leila.

Speaker 31 (55:58):
Come on now, Fasher, aren't you just a little team
shit bit jealous?

Speaker 3 (56:10):
Will you miss me just a little.

Speaker 31 (56:12):
When I'm gone.

Speaker 22 (56:13):
I have a very busy winter ahead, leader, and lots
of plans. Lots of plans, you.

Speaker 42 (56:20):
Poor darllly.

Speaker 31 (56:24):
Well, I've got to go shopping to do hairdresser, million things.

Speaker 41 (56:27):
Oh oh, I almost forgot what.

Speaker 19 (56:30):
I'm hand me my handbag over there, will you.

Speaker 31 (56:32):
I was cleaning up some old trash this morning and
I came across these What don't tell me you don't
recognize your own handwriting?

Speaker 3 (56:40):
They're your letters, chilly love Laddis.

Speaker 22 (56:45):
You've kept them all these years?

Speaker 3 (56:47):
Werefore cause they were so sweet?

Speaker 31 (56:49):
But I thought it was only fat unless you have
them back now that they don't mean anything anymore.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
Besides, I wouldn't want Julian Henry finding the wood out.

Speaker 22 (56:58):
Don't you want the ribbon I lave you me bonal
love letters? What a fool I was. Well, I know
what to do with them.

Speaker 13 (57:13):
HP.

Speaker 22 (57:14):
Wait a minute, Maybe I would have burned those, if
I remember it correctly. I wouldn't want Bessie, not that
she would hm smell nice.

Speaker 14 (57:34):
Sashet.

Speaker 22 (57:35):
I guess she must have had them among her things. Gush,
that was four years ago. Let's see, my dear darling,

(57:55):
beloved Leila. I didn't sleep a winkle last night. All
night long, I lay awake thinking of you. Once I
got up and went to my open window, where the
moon was shining in. And as I stood there gazing
up at it, I thought to myself that same moon

(58:17):
as shining down upon my darling Leela, clear across the
vacant lot. There I looked across, and I could see
your house and your own dear bedroom window. It was
open a little. It made me wish that I were
a little moonbeam and could steal in and nestle softly
on the pillow besides your cheek.

Speaker 14 (58:41):
Oh Leelah, I love you, so I think if the
day ever comes when we're no longer, when we're no longer.

Speaker 5 (58:50):
Calm found it.

Speaker 7 (58:52):
When I got up this morning, I felt perfectly all right.
Can guilders leave? They're up?

Speaker 28 (59:09):
We'll find out in a few.

Speaker 34 (59:10):
Moments, mister Lang. If it isn't one thing, it's another.
Now that more wheat flour is available for baking my
favorite rolls and muffins, it seems harder than ever to
find a really good spread to serve with them.

Speaker 7 (59:22):
Well, of course, all spreads for bread are very scary
scarce right now.

Speaker 34 (59:26):
Yes, But the one I mean is parquet margarine. It's
been my family's favorite for years. In fact, that's one
reason my rolls and muffins taste so good. Parquet had
such delicious flavor. But as I was saying, just try
to find parkuet in the food stores when you want it.

Speaker 28 (59:42):
I know just what you mean.

Speaker 7 (59:43):
But here's the picture. Try as we may at craft,
we just can't seem to catch up with the demand
for parquet margarine. We're continuing to make as much parquet
as available supplies permit, and we're rushing it to your
food dealer. Flavor Fresh and Country sweet, always of the
same high quality that has made Park a favorite spread
of millions. So be sure to look first for Park

(01:00:06):
when you shop. Your dealer will have it for you
from time to time. So ask for Park p A
r k a y par k margarine made by craft.

Speaker 47 (01:00:30):
Let's get back to the great Guildersleeve, who is now
thoroughly convinced his heart is broken.

Speaker 29 (01:00:36):
What to do?

Speaker 47 (01:00:38):
He finally decides, You'll put on a brave face and
seek the consolation of masculine companionship at the Jolly Boys Club.
Let's peep into the club now, where, though Guildersleeve has
not arrived, he is the subject of conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Poor old Guildersleeve, He's been fooling around with that woman
for a long time.

Speaker 14 (01:00:58):
For five years at least.

Speaker 36 (01:01:00):
Think of all a doe he must have spent.

Speaker 11 (01:01:01):
On a floyd.

Speaker 5 (01:01:03):
Must you be crass?

Speaker 7 (01:01:04):
Crass?

Speaker 22 (01:01:04):
What the heck is that?

Speaker 36 (01:01:07):
Or figured it out for yourself?

Speaker 7 (01:01:08):
Picture show here a meal?

Speaker 36 (01:01:10):
There mounts up in a few years, where's it get him?

Speaker 11 (01:01:14):
First?

Speaker 18 (01:01:14):
Guy that comes along with a half a carrot diamond
gildess Leeve gets the pink slipper.

Speaker 22 (01:01:21):
It doesn't seem right.

Speaker 39 (01:01:22):
How's he taking it.

Speaker 48 (01:01:23):
Anybody's seen him.

Speaker 36 (01:01:25):
I ain't seen him, but i'll give eight to five.
Gildlessleeve ain't losing any sleep over it. He'll have to
make some new arrangements.

Speaker 32 (01:01:31):
That's all I happen to disagree with you, Floyd. I
think he's taking this thing pretty hard. Have you seen him, Pev?

Speaker 15 (01:01:38):
Yeah, well what did you think? I don't think he.

Speaker 5 (01:01:46):
Liked it my opinion, it's a real blow to him,
a real.

Speaker 48 (01:01:49):
Blow Cooor Guildless Sleeve.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Well, that's the way it goes sometimes, Yes, sir, that's
the way it goes. Can't you well for crying out loud?

Speaker 36 (01:02:03):
We don't have to act like a funeral. Let's get
a card game going here or something.

Speaker 15 (01:02:06):
Come on, Phoebe, I might pay for a few minutes.
Get Jehan Current here.

Speaker 36 (01:02:11):
Any last time you said that she took away six
bucks and a half?

Speaker 34 (01:02:15):
Hey, I think it.

Speaker 36 (01:02:16):
Here's somebody comments.

Speaker 5 (01:02:17):
Sounds like Guildersleeve. I never thought he'd feel up to this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Let's be real nice to him, a fellow jolly boy
that's had a tough worth.

Speaker 49 (01:02:25):
Yeah, well, jolly boys, Chief Gates, as I live and breathe,
and did you catch a lot of crooks?

Speaker 11 (01:02:32):
Today.

Speaker 51 (01:02:34):
How are you a commissioner and judge Hooker, the old
spirit of hevieous Corpus, Hi, Gilly and Floyd, the tom
Sorial artists and Peebe Mary pharmacist meetings one and all.

Speaker 15 (01:02:45):
Hi, Commissioner, you seem to be in good sperience to me.

Speaker 14 (01:02:49):
Yeah, why shouldn't I be?

Speaker 18 (01:02:50):
That's what I told him, Commissioner, I shut you up.
Why what's the matter, mister Gildersley. The boys were telling
me you were down in the mouth.

Speaker 14 (01:02:58):
About your girlfriend dumping you.

Speaker 18 (01:03:00):
I don't care for the way you put it, you know,
I mean about Missus Ransom getting married. Anyway, I stuck
up for you. I said you'd roll with the punch
and come up smiling.

Speaker 14 (01:03:13):
That's right, Floyd. That's me often a bridesmaid, but never
a bride. But I can take it. What do I care?

Speaker 22 (01:03:24):
That's a spirit, No, sir, Leela is a fine girl.
I wish you every happiness.

Speaker 5 (01:03:29):
I think you're being very generous.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Guilty, Yes, I guess I am, as well as I
have a suggestion. Listen, we all know Missus Ransom. She's
been on a lot of outings at the Jolly Boys Club.

Speaker 5 (01:03:41):
Tell about it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
I was thinking it'd be a real nice gesture of
the club.

Speaker 28 (01:03:45):
Would all chip in and buy her a.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Wedding present, that is, if mister Gildersleeve has no objection.

Speaker 22 (01:03:51):
Oh, no, a nice gesture, chief, as you say, then
I'd like to put that in the form of emotion.

Speaker 32 (01:03:57):
I seconded, what do you say, bb, don't you agree
this is a proper and friendly gesture for the Jolly
boys to make.

Speaker 15 (01:04:05):
Yeah, what kind of a present would it mean?

Speaker 5 (01:04:08):
We can think about that later. Are you in favor
of the idea?

Speaker 15 (01:04:13):
Well, I wouldn't say I'm against it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Oh, you make me tired, No, judge, let's not be
impatient with friend peev He just don't want to buy
a pig and a polk.

Speaker 22 (01:04:23):
That's all the way I look at it, Peevee.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
We should get her something substantial and at the same
time reasonably prized.

Speaker 15 (01:04:32):
What did you have in mind?

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Well, saying we was all to put in two dollars
a piece that's ten dollars, get her a well, let's see,
piece of tapestry makes a nice gift. Yeah, piece of
tapestry to hang on the wall. Then every time she
looked at it, she'd think of the Jolly boys back
in summer.

Speaker 15 (01:04:49):
Field when her husband kank kwinha Kenny.

Speaker 22 (01:04:57):
Oh quit worrying, Peevee, are you with us or not.

Speaker 15 (01:05:00):
Going along after Leon?

Speaker 13 (01:05:03):
That's a boy chief?

Speaker 48 (01:05:06):
What is it, Commissioner?

Speaker 22 (01:05:07):
You got a different idea for the games? Oh no, no,
I think the tapestry is fine. Only well, naturally, in
my position, I'll be expected to give her a present myself,
something fairly substantial, So I'm afraid I won't be able
to contribute to the club.

Speaker 13 (01:05:21):
Kiddy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Oh well, maybe we can get a tapestry for eight dollars.
It don't have to cover the entire wall. Okay, Judge,
okaypv Okay, Floyd.

Speaker 18 (01:05:33):
No, it ain't okay. I don't see why we should
buy her a president the first place.

Speaker 28 (01:05:37):
Well why not?

Speaker 15 (01:05:38):
Because she done a dirty trick.

Speaker 36 (01:05:39):
To a fellow jolly boy.

Speaker 22 (01:05:40):
That's why, of course, Please, Floyd, I appreciate your sentiment.
As I said before, Leela is a fine girl. I
wish her every happiness.

Speaker 36 (01:05:50):
Well that's all well and good.

Speaker 22 (01:05:51):
But just a say she's done you when she's found
someone she loves, that's all it really matters.

Speaker 13 (01:05:56):
It takes a real man to say a thing like that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:04):
You're so right, chee.

Speaker 14 (01:06:06):
I mean it, Fellas.

Speaker 22 (01:06:07):
If Leela can find happiness with this fellow, raise a family,
perhaps I'm not standing her way.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
Say what about the card game we were starting here,
let's get going.

Speaker 28 (01:06:18):
How about a song?

Speaker 5 (01:06:19):
That's a better idea?

Speaker 10 (01:06:20):
A song?

Speaker 36 (01:06:21):
Okay, come on, guys, get around the piano.

Speaker 18 (01:06:23):
How about this hold the moon like spad tonight along
the warmer.

Speaker 14 (01:06:31):
That's good, okay, A breath of you.

Speaker 11 (01:06:51):
Thanks?

Speaker 14 (01:07:08):
Oh that was great, fellas. Let's have enough.

Speaker 7 (01:07:13):
No Floyd.

Speaker 14 (01:07:16):
Sakes Floyd, no Floyd. Go ahead and play that one.
I want to sing it, okay, Commissioner. I wonder you see.

Speaker 52 (01:07:31):
I wonder stach, I wonder looking intre e side.

Speaker 53 (01:07:53):
I wonder fine.

Speaker 13 (01:08:07):
I won if she.

Speaker 14 (01:08:12):
Ever sub.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Commissioner, Commissioner, get him a coat, somebody I ca him,
get him a double coat.

Speaker 36 (01:08:25):
Pabe get us all a coke. Codiorada.

Speaker 5 (01:08:28):
Never should have started that song.

Speaker 14 (01:08:30):
I'm sorry, fellas, I didn't meant it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
That's perfectly okay, Commissioner. You're among friends, and when a
fellow gets a blow like you got.

Speaker 14 (01:08:38):
She's a fine girl. I wish you every happened.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
I just i'd well, i'd just like to say, Commissioner,
I know how it is.

Speaker 14 (01:08:46):
Oh, no, Chief, you're happily married.

Speaker 28 (01:08:48):
Yes, yes I am.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
But there was a girl ahead of my wife. I well,
I thought i'd never get over it.

Speaker 22 (01:08:55):
I'm just as leef.

Speaker 48 (01:08:56):
You didn't mention it to Hazel.

Speaker 23 (01:08:58):
Of course.

Speaker 18 (01:09:02):
You want to play a little cords, commission I don't know, Floyd,
seeing you feel so seeing you feel so lousy, the
boys might make a special concession.

Speaker 36 (01:09:12):
We'd play bridge just for you.

Speaker 14 (01:09:14):
How about it, thanks, Floyd. I don't think I could
keep my mind on it.

Speaker 13 (01:09:19):
Just let him sit there and drink his coke.

Speaker 15 (01:09:23):
Ain't your herd heid word?

Speaker 5 (01:09:31):
Well are you guys going to sit around like this
all night?

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
No, judge, drink your coke and be quiet a minute.
Feeling a little better, mister Gildersleeve, I think the.

Speaker 14 (01:09:43):
Coke is helping you.

Speaker 32 (01:09:48):
I might remind you, fellows that Guildersleeve is not the
only man around here who feels a sentimental pang. Missus
Ransom's decision.

Speaker 36 (01:09:56):
Ah quit trying a horn in on the sympathy.

Speaker 22 (01:10:01):
Well, well let's do something.

Speaker 11 (01:10:08):
Yeah, let's do what?

Speaker 15 (01:10:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 18 (01:10:11):
I don't know, boy, this is a dead town.

Speaker 36 (01:10:19):
When's Halloween?

Speaker 22 (01:10:23):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:10:24):
October November.

Speaker 18 (01:10:25):
Boy, we used to have some real fun on Halloween
when I was a kid. Kids nowadays don't have the
kind of fun we had.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Good thing too, Halloween's a bad night for the police department.

Speaker 36 (01:10:37):
I remember one trick we used to pull.

Speaker 18 (01:10:39):
We take and set some of these garbage pail up
on the railing of the porch, kind of balance it there, see,
then tie a string on it and fasten the string
to the doorknob, and then ring the doorbell.

Speaker 14 (01:10:53):
Garbage all over the place.

Speaker 39 (01:10:55):
We didn't do it.

Speaker 18 (01:10:56):
The guy done it himself when he opened the door.

Speaker 5 (01:11:01):
That keeps it perfectly legal.

Speaker 22 (01:11:08):
Fullas, let's go out and dump over somebody's garbage pale?
You're joking, No, I'm not.

Speaker 14 (01:11:14):
That's just what I feel like doing tonight. Come on,
Floyda your game.

Speaker 36 (01:11:17):
Well, I'm game if the rest are.

Speaker 18 (01:11:19):
How about it?

Speaker 36 (01:11:19):
Peeve, come on, It'll take ten years off of.

Speaker 13 (01:11:21):
You, and I'd be willing to watch, good old peev.

Speaker 14 (01:11:27):
Who's pale? Shall we jump over?

Speaker 18 (01:11:28):
How about Judge hookertt Oh, no, he's here, I certainly
am well.

Speaker 36 (01:11:35):
Who's ll it be?

Speaker 14 (01:11:38):
Fullas?

Speaker 18 (01:11:39):
How about missus ransom Commissioner guilty?

Speaker 14 (01:11:42):
You really mean it. Certainly I mean it. After all,
look what she did to me.

Speaker 7 (01:11:46):
He's himself again, and we'll hear from the Great Guildersleeve
again in just a minute. One of the questions we're

(01:12:07):
asked most often is when is there going to be
more park margarine in the food stores. Frankly, we don't know,
but our best guess is that the shortage may extend
over a period of several months. That doesn't mean, of course,
that there'll be any less Park produced. Craft's modern margarine
plants are continuing to make as much Park as present
supplies permit, and just as quickly as more fine American

(01:12:30):
vegetable oils are made available through government allocation, Craft will
be ready to speed up production. Meanwhile, we're distributing park
as fairly as we know how with your food dealer's
splendid cooperation, he'll have Park for you from time to time,
So be sure to look first when you shop for delicious,
flavor fresh park Pa r Kay par K margarine made

(01:12:57):
by Kraft.

Speaker 22 (01:13:06):
Just a reminder, ladies and gentlemen, that two more fine
programs are joining NBC's Great Wednesday Night line up this evening.

Speaker 14 (01:13:12):
Immediately following this program.

Speaker 22 (01:13:13):
Over most of these stations you will hear Duffy's Tavern
with Ed Gardner's Archie and of course mister District Attorney
as usual, and following that, Frank Morgan as the Fabulous
Doctor tweety good night, folks.

Speaker 7 (01:13:27):
The Great Gelder Slave is played by Harold Farrow. It
was written by John Laveon and Sam Moore. The Meilsak
is by Jack Maker. Included in the cast the Walter
tattleas Leyroy, Lillian Randolfice Burley and Shirley Mitchell as Leila Ratson,
Judge Hooker as Eerol Wass, and deck La Graham plays
mister Paper. This is John Lang saying good night for
the Craft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in

(01:13:47):
again next Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great
Gilder Slave.

Speaker 47 (01:13:59):
The children in your family like fine cheese, then you
can just bet they love pabstt It's so rich and
mellow cheddar cheese flavor, so.

Speaker 39 (01:14:07):
Easy to digest.

Speaker 47 (01:14:08):
Pabsteft is a cheese food that contains nourishing food values
of milk, and it's simply delicious on bread or crackers
or melted into a luscious sauce for hot vegetables, eggs,
and macaroni. Why not buy both delicious varieties, the mental
pabstat and the red package and gold and cheddar PABs
Debt in the familiar round yellow package. Get Pabstet at

(01:14:29):
your food store tomorrow.

Speaker 54 (01:14:34):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company, seventy nine years ago,
October two, nineteen forty six, The Great Gilder's Sleep Here
on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Coush.

Speaker 8 (01:14:50):
Yeah, the show ended up moving to Wednesdays. And part
of the reason they moved it to Wednesdays, well they
got a better time, you know that, and you know
they the deal? What can I say?

Speaker 36 (01:15:02):
All righty?

Speaker 8 (01:15:03):
Coming up tomorrow on our Friday edition, we have Crime
with the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, John Stanley and Alfred
Shirley from nineteen forty eight, Doctor Christian starring Geen Hershold
for the nineteen forty five episode Love Tomama, Sam Spade
starring Howard Duff from nineteen forty eight, The Sugarcane Caper

(01:15:24):
and The Whistler from nineteen forty eight, The Big Gamble.
That's all Coming up tomorrow here on Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatcox. Then we'll get your weekend going on Saturday
with an episode of suspense from nineteen fifty nine, Room
two three, starring a brilliant young actress by the name

(01:15:44):
of Ellen McCrae. Of course you would know her by
her married name, Ellen Burston yep, before she was real
big and important. That'll be coming up on Saturday, along
with an episode of Nick Carter Master Detective starring Lawn
Clark from nineteen forty three, The Flying Duck Murder, Another Murder,

(01:16:06):
The sweep Stakes Murder from Counterspy from nineteen forty nine,
and the first episode of Theatre Royal with Orson Wells
starring is the Queen of Spades. Well, I don't think
he's the Queen, but he's starting in the Queen of Spades.
On Sunday, we'll hear Wells again in a nineteen fifty
one episode of the Lives of Harry Lyme, the prequel

(01:16:28):
to the Third Man motion picture, Jack Webbin Dragnet, Jackson
Becka's Filo Vans, John Dayner as the Frontier Gentleman. On Monday,
we'll do comedy again. We're gonna get into more comedy
now as we're getting into the fall season. A lot
of them are in production and not a lot of
comedies in the summer. Dems Taylor as a guest in

(01:16:50):
the nineteen forty four Armed Forces recording of It Pays
to Be Ignorant, Stan Freeburg from nineteen fifty seven, Jack
Benny from nineteen forty seven, and Harold Perry the Great
gilders Sleep from nineteen forty eight. On Tuesday, we'll have
more comedy with Fred Allen and Azzy and Harriet both
from nineteen forty five. But who's your hot shots? I

(01:17:12):
don't think we've ever done this from nineteen fifty and
Milton Burrow from nineteen forty seven in a salute to
something important.

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
Oh.

Speaker 8 (01:17:20):
Next Wednesday, Barry Craig Confidential Investigator, William Gargan stars Nick
Calmer's Boston Blackie, Gerald Morris, Philip Marlow and a ninety
nine year old episode of Calling All Cars from nineteen
thirty six. And then next Thursday, our comedies will, in
addition to Fibber and Molly, will have an uncut episode

(01:17:41):
of the Phil Harris Alas Face Show as it was
originally recorded, with the warm Up and Everything Alice's First
Date from nineteen fifty three, The Great Gilder Sleeve, Leland Ransom,
Leland leaves town, and then Father Knows Best Betty the Crooner,
and then on Friday weve comedy again with Amos and Andy,

(01:18:02):
the Alders Family, Lomon Abner and Jack Benny. That's all
coming up the next eight days here on Classic Radio
Theater with wive Tugs. Speaking of Phil and Alice, let's
go back to nineteen fifty three in a moment and
see what is going on in the Harris household.

Speaker 35 (01:18:24):
Civil defense is common sense. This is pat boone. In
case of enemy attack, you must know your warning signals.
A steady blast of three to five minutes means junior
radio dial to six forty or twelve forty, a three
minute wavering tone, or a series of short blasts take
cover immediately.

Speaker 8 (01:18:46):
Now an episode of the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show.
And this is another one of those shows where you
had the big names, Phil Harris, the big band leader,
you had Alice Faye, the movie star, and then you
had the supporting cast, including Walter Tetley and including Elliott
Lewis s Frank Rimley. We're gonna hear about a horse

(01:19:08):
race where Phil ends up buying a horse. This is
from seventy two years ago, October second, nineteen fifty three.

Speaker 13 (01:19:16):
Sorry, mister, you can't go in. There can't go in?

Speaker 34 (01:19:18):
What do you mean?

Speaker 22 (01:19:19):
I can't go in?

Speaker 13 (01:19:19):
I gotta go in the show's ready to start and
you can't go in. So don't give me any trouble. Now,
Wait a minute, buddy, Wait a minute. Don't you recognize me?
Look this curly hair, this lovable personality, the Steve Rich voice.
Oh excuse me.

Speaker 28 (01:19:38):
Go right in too, Mark Victor, World leader and radio person.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
They going to make a person.

Speaker 9 (01:19:44):
Television presents the Bill Harris Alife Sha For your enjoyment,

(01:20:07):
Here is the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show transcribe written
by Racinger, Dick Chevrolet and Ed James, with Elliot, Lewis Waller, Tetley,
John Hubbert, Janine Ruce and Whitfield water Sharp in his
music and yours truly.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
Phil Foreman.

Speaker 9 (01:20:20):
The title of Tonight's Little Monstrosity is a Day at
Santa Anita or that's.

Speaker 18 (01:20:26):
A horse on You.

Speaker 28 (01:20:35):
And Now the stars of the RCA Victor Program, Alice.

Speaker 1 (01:20:37):
Fay and Phil Harris, a fool and his money, are
soon parted.

Speaker 7 (01:20:54):
That's what they say.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
That's what Alice Fay says too, and she doesn't mean
King Peru.

Speaker 9 (01:20:59):
Jeez refers to the carefree, lovable debonair man about.

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
Town Bill Harris.

Speaker 13 (01:21:09):
I'm walking behind you on our wedding day, a forty
five in each pocket and they're bullfire ca. Oh hi, honey,
how's every little old thing?

Speaker 6 (01:21:27):
You look?

Speaker 13 (01:21:27):
Fine?

Speaker 5 (01:21:28):
Why?

Speaker 20 (01:21:33):
Hey, wait a minute? Dollars that's no way to talk.

Speaker 13 (01:21:35):
Now. When I came in here this morning, I felt
like a million bucks.

Speaker 20 (01:21:38):
That's the way you spend money too.

Speaker 22 (01:21:41):
Look at these bills. Oh well, now you run my
whole day.

Speaker 42 (01:21:45):
Phil.

Speaker 22 (01:21:46):
You've got to cut down, honey.

Speaker 13 (01:21:49):
You know I don't drink before breakfast.

Speaker 24 (01:21:58):
Till.

Speaker 27 (01:21:58):
You've got to stop wasting money.

Speaker 20 (01:22:00):
Oh that kind of cut down.

Speaker 13 (01:22:02):
Oh you give me a hote.

Speaker 48 (01:22:03):
What are you trying to do?

Speaker 7 (01:22:06):
Now?

Speaker 23 (01:22:06):
Look here?

Speaker 13 (01:22:06):
How did I waste the money?

Speaker 20 (01:22:07):
Now we'll just look here.

Speaker 55 (01:22:09):
One bathing suit one hundred dollars.

Speaker 27 (01:22:12):
Honey.

Speaker 20 (01:22:13):
I know it was to me, certainly it was worth
the baby.

Speaker 28 (01:22:15):
It was worth it.

Speaker 13 (01:22:17):
You realized that every sequin was sewn on just right?

Speaker 27 (01:22:21):
I know, But did they have to spell out stand back?

Speaker 13 (01:22:24):
This belongs to Phil Hallis, I ain't taking no chance.

Speaker 55 (01:22:34):
Did another thing the way you were tipping last night?
You threw ten dollar bills around us though they were.

Speaker 13 (01:22:39):
Dimes nowadays, who can tell a difference, Phil, If you
keep this up, you'll go through your.

Speaker 34 (01:22:47):
Money and no time.

Speaker 13 (01:22:47):
Ah, stop worrying, honey, we'd even halfway through yours. Yeah, look, honey,
why don't we talk about it later till I don't
want to talk about it now. We talk about it later.
I gotta go downtown and see Ellie. I ain't seen
him all day. You don't have to go downtown. He's

(01:23:08):
right here having his lunch. Oh he is where in
the garage? Elliot's eating in the garage?

Speaker 55 (01:23:17):
Well, he ate everything we had in here.

Speaker 20 (01:23:22):
Now he's having lunch with the.

Speaker 13 (01:23:23):
Dog, democratic little devil.

Speaker 22 (01:23:29):
Elliot is a dog.

Speaker 18 (01:23:33):
I told you.

Speaker 13 (01:23:33):
I mean, I'm going out to see Elliott. I'll be
right back. He keets my eyes open. I don't get
a cup of coffee.

Speaker 22 (01:23:39):
She's nagging, nag and nagging.

Speaker 13 (01:23:42):
I don't know what the trouble. Don't spend so much money,
That's all she can say. I should have stood home,
dear on our wedding day.

Speaker 20 (01:23:55):
Hi, Elliott, Hey, Elliet, h oh, excuse me, Curly, Yeah,
I didn't see it.

Speaker 56 (01:24:02):
I didn't hear you coming. Well, I take these clothes
pins off my ears. What you got clothespins on the
ears for? They kept getting in the dog food?

Speaker 7 (01:24:18):
Hey?

Speaker 13 (01:24:18):
You know, Curly, that's pretty good stuff. Certainly it ought
to be factories of del Mar. They use nothing but winners.
I am neffer to me, he's a happy little beastie.

Speaker 56 (01:24:35):
Any I'm gonna make you a happy little beastie too, Curly,
how would you like to come.

Speaker 20 (01:24:40):
In on a big deal with me and make a
million dollars?

Speaker 13 (01:24:45):
If I know you?

Speaker 20 (01:24:47):
M boy?

Speaker 13 (01:24:47):
Do I know you?

Speaker 20 (01:24:49):
I leave you with one word, get lost? Curly, you
ain't even heard the proposition.

Speaker 13 (01:24:54):
Look, I ain't gonna hear it because I don't have
to hear it.

Speaker 20 (01:24:56):
I've just had a lot of trouble.

Speaker 13 (01:24:58):
Alison been nagging, balling me out for throwing money away,
So I ain't gonna spend No more money, no more propositions,
no more chance.

Speaker 20 (01:25:04):
Earlier, how much did you throw away? A couple hundred bucks?

Speaker 22 (01:25:09):
Why?

Speaker 20 (01:25:10):
Well, that's great.

Speaker 56 (01:25:11):
She balls you out for throwing away a couple of
hundred bucks. And now you want to throw away a million?
You're a dead pigeon.

Speaker 13 (01:25:22):
Million. Huh is that more than a thousand?

Speaker 56 (01:25:30):
More than a thousand? That's twice as much, and you
want to throw it away?

Speaker 7 (01:25:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 20 (01:25:45):
No, I never thought I was like that. No, go ahead, kid, Shoot,
what's a proposition.

Speaker 56 (01:25:48):
You remember that horse blue Blazes we saw run at
Santa Need a few times.

Speaker 20 (01:25:53):
I got a chance to buy him for five hundred bucks.

Speaker 13 (01:25:55):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, now, how can you
buy a horse like blue Blazes for five hundred bucks?

Speaker 20 (01:26:03):
I got connections.

Speaker 28 (01:26:05):
I got to tip.

Speaker 56 (01:26:05):
The owner wants to sell this horse at a loss
so he can write it off his income.

Speaker 39 (01:26:10):
Facts.

Speaker 20 (01:26:13):
Oh oh that?

Speaker 22 (01:26:15):
Hey gee, you know something. For five hundred bucks, we
couldn't go very wrong.

Speaker 57 (01:26:20):
Could we go wrong?

Speaker 20 (01:26:21):
I'm telling you we'll make a fortune.

Speaker 13 (01:26:23):
We'll go partners.

Speaker 20 (01:26:24):
We'll chip in fifty to fifty and buy him. Yeah
that sounds fair enough.

Speaker 56 (01:26:28):
You got two hundred and fifty dollars. Sure, okay, I'll
borrow that for my half.

Speaker 20 (01:26:33):
Now, all you got to do is dig up two
hundred and fifty dollars. Give me that once more?

Speaker 22 (01:26:41):
Will you just slower?

Speaker 56 (01:26:44):
All you got to do is dig up two hundred
and fifty for your half, and I'll make your partner.

Speaker 48 (01:26:48):
I'm going to borrow the other two fifty.

Speaker 13 (01:26:51):
You mean you ain't got your two fifty. I got it, curly, But.

Speaker 20 (01:26:56):
I'll need that for the expense of taking care of
the horse. Why it'll US two hundred and fifty.

Speaker 13 (01:27:01):
A day just to feed him that much a day
for feet.

Speaker 20 (01:27:06):
That's a lot of money. Oh no, but this nag's
got big appetite. He eats like a horse. Yeah, yeah,
I get it.

Speaker 13 (01:27:18):
Now, look, Elliet, let me get this straight. You don't
have the money, right right, Okay, so I'm gonna lend
it to you. Now, I'll put up the whole five
hundred right right now, where do we contact the guy
that's got the animal.

Speaker 20 (01:27:28):
He's sitting out in front of his car. You see him,
Oh yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 13 (01:27:32):
See him out there. But hey, wait a minute, hmhm,
what's he got his motor running for?

Speaker 20 (01:27:38):
Well, soon as he sells the horse, he's gonna leave town.

Speaker 13 (01:27:42):
Well, now, look, Elliott, here's the dough, Go close the deal.

Speaker 20 (01:27:44):
Ain't you gonna come along?

Speaker 28 (01:27:45):
No?

Speaker 13 (01:27:45):
No, I think I'll stay here with Nipper for a while.

Speaker 23 (01:27:48):
Right.

Speaker 13 (01:27:49):
Oh, mister c Whitney Vanderbilt Harris, I shall see you
in the paddock zero. Did you hear that Knipper? Yeah,
I'm gonna be famous like all him big shots. And
my horse is gonna be famous too. You ain't gonna
find him none.

Speaker 28 (01:28:05):
Of that del Mar dog food.

Speaker 13 (01:28:07):
He's got what you're hungry again, Neffert?

Speaker 6 (01:28:13):
What for?

Speaker 13 (01:28:14):
You don't do nothing? All you do is set around
in front of that Victrola. Look, you don't know how
lucky you are. Everybody else has to work hard for
their money and their food. And don't talk back to me.
I'll get up on your feet and tilt your head.

Speaker 4 (01:28:30):
Now.

Speaker 13 (01:28:30):
Listen, this is your master's voice. I don't want to
sound like I'm preaching a sermon, but I've heard people
say the early bird catches the worm, and there's a
lot of good logic in that cliche. There's certain obligations

(01:28:51):
you just can't shirk. You've got to put the heat
on to make the cattle perk. And if you want
it to be a good day, you've got to.

Speaker 20 (01:29:00):
Do a good day's work.

Speaker 13 (01:29:02):
You got to dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner.
Nothing's what you get for freeze. You gotta dig, dig,
dig dig for your dinner never was.

Speaker 22 (01:29:11):
A money treat.

Speaker 13 (01:29:13):
And furthermore, my friends, I must repeat nobody's living down
on easy Street. And if you want to owe for groceries,
you're gonna get an off a lot.

Speaker 20 (01:29:23):
On O series.

Speaker 13 (01:29:24):
You got to dig, dig dig dig for a dollar
tain the simple as you think you can't purline a
surline or the butcher will put you in the clinking.
You just can't be a lazy bird.

Speaker 20 (01:29:38):
You've got to get off of your twig so you.

Speaker 22 (01:29:42):
Can afford your room and you're forward.

Speaker 13 (01:29:44):
And it's nice to have the price of a sick.
If you've got to pay that biddler man. If you
want to do a jo, you got to be cast
busy to be to be a mister b G. And
if you want something dig, you got the dig dig
for your dinner. Dig dig dig dig.

Speaker 28 (01:30:06):
You just can't be that lazy bird.

Speaker 13 (01:30:09):
You've got to get off of that twig so you
can aboard if your room and your board, and it's
nice to have the price of a sick if you've
got to pay the man.

Speaker 14 (01:30:20):
If you want to do a g you've got de.

Speaker 13 (01:30:26):
B to be mister b a G. If you want some.

Speaker 14 (01:30:31):
You got the dig dig dig dig for your dinner.
Dig dig dig dig dig.

Speaker 58 (01:30:37):
Right, Alice, Yes, William, Shall I take the children over
the mothers Mom, we'd like to see grandma.

Speaker 13 (01:30:55):
Well all, hey, Alice, tell you, hey, honey, when do
you hear this? Hey, Willy stick around? You got to
hear this to look, honey, Elliott and me are now
owners of a racing stable. We just bought a racehorse.
Oh no, oh, it's a great horse, Alice. Listen. It's

(01:31:16):
Blue Blazes out of Honey Girl by Blue Streak?

Speaker 3 (01:31:19):
Is it a good horse?

Speaker 27 (01:31:20):
City feel as you? Children wouldn't know anything about it.

Speaker 19 (01:31:22):
I just want to ask him if he clopped an egg?

Speaker 3 (01:31:24):
If you only morning workout, can he run the.

Speaker 7 (01:31:26):
Mile at one thirty five?

Speaker 27 (01:31:27):
Is he a moner?

Speaker 3 (01:31:28):
Or does he like a fast track?

Speaker 55 (01:31:30):
Girls, girls, where did you ever learn those expressions?

Speaker 3 (01:31:34):
Some daddy scratchy?

Speaker 7 (01:31:36):
Mom?

Speaker 12 (01:31:40):
Mom?

Speaker 3 (01:31:41):
You know that native dancers. The greatest horse.

Speaker 59 (01:31:43):
Here is not Tom Poole can beat him any day.

Speaker 23 (01:31:45):
He cannot.

Speaker 55 (01:31:47):
Cannot.

Speaker 60 (01:31:47):
Girls, girls, squat in the yard and play the mother,
go out and play Jeeves whizz Phil how dare Oh?

Speaker 13 (01:32:00):
Now wait a minute, honey, wait a minute. There's nothing
wrong with horse racing. Some of the best families in
the country own horses.

Speaker 20 (01:32:08):
What kind of a horse is it, Philip?

Speaker 11 (01:32:10):
What does he look like?

Speaker 22 (01:32:12):
Well, I didn't see him.

Speaker 13 (01:32:15):
I mean, the guy's got him in a stall at
Santa Anita and he didn't have time to take us out.

Speaker 18 (01:32:19):
You bought a horse without seeing him.

Speaker 20 (01:32:22):
We don't have to see him. The owner gave us
this picture of the horse. Look ain't he a beautiful animal?

Speaker 55 (01:32:31):
Let's see it, Elliott.

Speaker 13 (01:32:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 20 (01:32:33):
Here now, well, all you can see is his head
and tail.

Speaker 22 (01:32:37):
The rest of him is covered with a blanket.

Speaker 13 (01:32:39):
Yeah yeah, but just look at the name on that blanket,
Blue Blazers.

Speaker 7 (01:32:44):
What a gee gee?

Speaker 22 (01:32:50):
We got him for five hundred dollars.

Speaker 20 (01:32:53):
Five hundred dollars, Philip, you've been cheated. You can't buy
a good.

Speaker 7 (01:32:58):
Race horse for that kind of money.

Speaker 13 (01:32:59):
You know about horses.

Speaker 20 (01:33:01):
I'm very familiar with horses.

Speaker 7 (01:33:02):
I ride a great deal. I'll have you know.

Speaker 1 (01:33:05):
I was practically born in the saddle.

Speaker 13 (01:33:10):
N't your mother uncomfortable? Listen, William, I'm telling you that
this is a great race horse. It will break records.
And I don't mean RCA Victor records. I just threw
it in do you mind.

Speaker 28 (01:33:31):
I just threw it in.

Speaker 7 (01:33:34):
Oh no, I don't mind.

Speaker 13 (01:33:35):
Okay, Nowadays you got to throw in a plug every
chance you get, and I'll throw it in again. RCA
Victor Records, RCA Victor Records, RCIA. Sell them, fellas, please
sell them.

Speaker 28 (01:33:49):
My records.

Speaker 58 (01:33:50):
He says, I can take the most broken down animal
and in any writing stable, and beat this hay burner
you've been stuck with.

Speaker 22 (01:33:58):
Oh you could huh. Let me ask you something.

Speaker 13 (01:34:02):
Would you like to have a match race and make
a little bet on it?

Speaker 7 (01:34:04):
All right?

Speaker 20 (01:34:05):
How much would you like to bet?

Speaker 22 (01:34:08):
Just a minute, Alice? How much would I like to bet?

Speaker 58 (01:34:16):
Never mind the money, Philip, When would you like to
hold this so called race?

Speaker 13 (01:34:20):
Why not?

Speaker 39 (01:34:21):
Right now?

Speaker 56 (01:34:22):
They're not racing at Santa Anita today, and I feel
confident that their turk will be an adequate condition.

Speaker 1 (01:34:28):
Fine, fine, I'll.

Speaker 58 (01:34:31):
Get a horse from the first Riding Academy.

Speaker 13 (01:34:33):
I come to and meet you at Santa Anita in
two hours. Goodbye, Philip, So long, sucker, curly. We did
to take cam bullpecially, but especially when you riding our horse.

Speaker 20 (01:34:59):
I'm gonna ride horse.

Speaker 13 (01:35:02):
I'm allergic to him.

Speaker 20 (01:35:04):
When I was a kid, when him kick me.

Speaker 4 (01:35:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (01:35:07):
Where did he kick you?

Speaker 20 (01:35:09):
In Milwaukee? I was living there at the time. And
why don't you rye him?

Speaker 27 (01:35:21):
Curly?

Speaker 20 (01:35:21):
Well, I well, I'd love to Ellie, but I I
you know.

Speaker 13 (01:35:27):
I used to live in Milwaukee too.

Speaker 7 (01:35:30):
Why don't you.

Speaker 13 (01:35:30):
Fellas get a regular jockey to ride in.

Speaker 20 (01:35:33):
They're expensive balance, they get a lot of dough jacky
jee whiz.

Speaker 13 (01:35:40):
Wouldn't it be wonderful if my old pal Eddie R.
Carroll came walking.

Speaker 22 (01:35:44):
Through that door and said, may the grocer?

Speaker 20 (01:35:52):
I don't think he's saying that, Curly.

Speaker 13 (01:35:58):
Please. Hey, hey, hey, Julius, come here. Have I got
something to tell you?

Speaker 19 (01:36:04):
Good one on this way?

Speaker 13 (01:36:07):
Well, ain't you gonna say anything dos pal?

Speaker 46 (01:36:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (01:36:10):
Ha, Hey Julius, you shouldn't say anything like that, because today,
hey Julius, listen to this. Mister Lewis and I are
gonna do you one of the biggest favors you've ever
had in your life. We just bought a race horse,
a good one, and we want you to ride him
in a big race.

Speaker 61 (01:36:29):
You mean you're gonna let me be a jockey? Gee, Julius,
the whip a bruise?

Speaker 27 (01:36:35):
You you mean, hobby?

Speaker 61 (01:36:38):
Hobby one of them guys that boots home winners and
them big races with the people screaming and.

Speaker 27 (01:36:43):
Young, and put a big.

Speaker 61 (01:36:44):
Horse who are roses around your naked and pay a lot.

Speaker 22 (01:36:47):
Of go for doing it.

Speaker 13 (01:36:48):
That's it, kid, How do you like the idea?

Speaker 62 (01:36:50):
It doesn't appeal to men horses?

Speaker 19 (01:36:57):
And I ain't gonna ride one for nobody.

Speaker 56 (01:37:01):
Miss fay here thought you'd do it for her. She's
gonna watch the race. No, she'll be awful disappointed if
you ain't riding.

Speaker 19 (01:37:07):
You want me, Thomas faith Well, in that case, I'll.

Speaker 41 (01:37:10):
Do it with the woman I love to cheer me on.

Speaker 61 (01:37:13):
I shall ride like the wind, neither rain nor snow, nor.

Speaker 19 (01:37:16):
Sweep nor hair.

Speaker 1 (01:37:18):
Shall state this courier from this ship completion.

Speaker 21 (01:37:21):
All right, all right, ride the horse first, deliver the
mail later.

Speaker 13 (01:37:37):
Hey, we're leaving for the track now, Julius, can.

Speaker 14 (01:37:39):
You go with us?

Speaker 27 (01:37:40):
Say?

Speaker 19 (01:37:41):
Norse was the last thought if I.

Speaker 25 (01:37:42):
Had to deliver.

Speaker 13 (01:37:42):
Hey, Alice, would you like to see the race too?

Speaker 20 (01:37:44):
I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll get my
coat and be right with you.

Speaker 28 (01:37:50):
I don't know.

Speaker 13 (01:37:51):
Most husbands come home with candy or flowers.

Speaker 7 (01:37:54):
Mine comes home.

Speaker 13 (01:37:55):
With a racehorse.

Speaker 22 (01:37:57):
But that's my fill.

Speaker 27 (01:38:07):
Hey, this is a beautiful track, Phil, you know I've
never been here before. Well, where's this hay boy?

Speaker 7 (01:38:12):
At you?

Speaker 27 (01:38:13):
Two guys homes?

Speaker 13 (01:38:15):
I don't get nervous, don't get nervous. He's over there
and one of them stables. Now look, Julius, you and
Alice wait here, and Elliott and I'll go over and
get him. Come on, Elliot, Yeah, thanks.

Speaker 20 (01:38:27):
I can't wait to see blue blazes curly. You know,
with proper training, he might turn out to be another
Esther Williams. Who Esther Williams?

Speaker 7 (01:38:40):
What's a connection?

Speaker 20 (01:38:42):
I happen to like Esther Williams.

Speaker 13 (01:38:46):
Oh me too? Oh that's the boy boy.

Speaker 20 (01:38:54):
Lemonade, lemonade.

Speaker 13 (01:38:58):
I also happened to be thirsty.

Speaker 22 (01:39:03):
Figure ylly Elly. Look over there, Yeah, there he is,
there he is. There's our horse boy.

Speaker 13 (01:39:11):
He's a beautiful beast.

Speaker 22 (01:39:12):
He's got a lovely.

Speaker 20 (01:39:15):
Voice too, sounds like crowns. Lead him out of the
stalls so we can get a better look at him.

Speaker 13 (01:39:24):
Okay, get him right out of all right, easy boy?
Had a boy? Look at it? Come on, had a
boy I don't know? Over here over here? Yeah, Oh,
whoa buddy?

Speaker 39 (01:39:36):
That's it.

Speaker 20 (01:39:38):
Yeah, let's take the blanket off. I can't wait to
get a good way to them.

Speaker 13 (01:39:41):
And wait, you not say something?

Speaker 34 (01:39:42):
What I do?

Speaker 13 (01:39:43):
You can't take the blanket off one of them high
class horses?

Speaker 28 (01:39:46):
What do you want to do? Catch cold?

Speaker 13 (01:39:48):
What are you silly as something? Take that blanket off
to get the crower scope or ropers? They get loaded?
Don't exposed this way? Do we take him over at
the track?

Speaker 7 (01:39:59):
Come on, hey, you too?

Speaker 18 (01:40:03):
Where are you going with that blanket?

Speaker 13 (01:40:05):
Belongs to my horse?

Speaker 1 (01:40:06):
Blue blazers?

Speaker 13 (01:40:08):
That says blue Blazers.

Speaker 28 (01:40:10):
It is not.

Speaker 25 (01:40:11):
I just loaned that.

Speaker 20 (01:40:12):
Blanket to a guy to put on this nag while
he took a picture of it.

Speaker 63 (01:40:16):
You mean the saint blue Blazers. But we just bought
him for five hundred dollars. You paid five hundred bucks
for this?

Speaker 3 (01:40:29):
Oh brother?

Speaker 13 (01:40:31):
Have you been taken?

Speaker 7 (01:40:34):
All right?

Speaker 23 (01:40:35):
All right?

Speaker 7 (01:40:35):
Laughing boy?

Speaker 11 (01:40:38):
What's so funny?

Speaker 5 (01:40:39):
Wait?

Speaker 63 (01:40:40):
I'll pick the blanket off and show you, gentlemen. Glue
pot the second.

Speaker 13 (01:40:47):
Blue that's Blue Blazers out of honey Girl, by blue streak.
It's blue pot out of frying pan. By mistake. You're
at me again, at me again, always at me. That's

(01:41:08):
the most swayed back nag I ever seen.

Speaker 20 (01:41:12):
Yeah, he's just got a front and an end. He
ain't got no middle from.

Speaker 13 (01:41:19):
Take a look at him. If it does our horse,
take a look at him?

Speaker 14 (01:41:22):
Is he ever swayed back?

Speaker 13 (01:41:24):
His stomach is touching the ground? What am I gonna
tell Alice?

Speaker 20 (01:41:29):
Let's turn upside down towards a camel?

Speaker 13 (01:41:39):
Keep look.

Speaker 22 (01:41:47):
I don't know what I have ever.

Speaker 13 (01:41:48):
Done to get mixed up into that?

Speaker 22 (01:41:49):
What do you always pick on?

Speaker 13 (01:41:50):
Can't you pick on somebody else? Art link, letter or somebody?

Speaker 7 (01:41:55):
Now?

Speaker 13 (01:41:55):
Listen, maybe if we leave the blanket on, we can
keep her from seeing him before the race. At Alice
sees its, Hey, mister, hey partner, could could we borrow
this blanket.

Speaker 25 (01:42:05):
For a while?

Speaker 11 (01:42:05):
Sure, but bring it back when you're through.

Speaker 13 (01:42:12):
There? He goes again, Hey, thanks, I don't think he
heard it.

Speaker 20 (01:42:18):
Well, we might as well get going, Ali.

Speaker 22 (01:42:21):
We got to show this thing to Alice.

Speaker 56 (01:42:25):
Come on, horse, get gone, Horsey, come on, come on, hey, Curly,
don't want to move.

Speaker 13 (01:42:39):
He candy stomach's dragon. How are we gonna get him
over to Alice? If we had a pair of skates
we could put them under his stomach and.

Speaker 28 (01:42:47):
Roll him over.

Speaker 13 (01:42:49):
Yeah, we could also butter his stomach and slide.

Speaker 28 (01:42:56):
Hey, he's moving curly?

Speaker 20 (01:42:57):
Should I clock him?

Speaker 18 (01:43:05):
What a calendar?

Speaker 13 (01:43:10):
It's sensible, will you? Let's get this over with. Come on,
all right, Ellis, this is the last time I'm ever
gonna listen to you. You talked me into buying the
world's most broken down.

Speaker 56 (01:43:20):
There, don't blame me. How did I know the guy
was a crook? And besides, how do you know he
can't run? Just because he's built funny don't mean anything.

Speaker 7 (01:43:26):
He might be.

Speaker 22 (01:43:28):
He might be a great run.

Speaker 13 (01:43:29):
I certainly hope so, because I gotta go through with
this race, Elliott. Now, don't say nothing, Alice, don't say
a word. With a blanket on him, maybe she won't notice. Yeah,
I'll watch it.

Speaker 20 (01:43:37):
We're clothes, hi, Alice. Hi, here's a horse, ain't he beautiful?

Speaker 22 (01:43:44):
Elly?

Speaker 55 (01:43:45):
Has a lovely head and a nicely braided tail. Take
the blanket off so I can see the rest of him.

Speaker 20 (01:43:51):
Let's leave well enough alone.

Speaker 7 (01:43:53):
I can't like the.

Speaker 41 (01:43:54):
Horse with a blanket on.

Speaker 13 (01:43:56):
Taking a minute, Julius, don't do it. I.

Speaker 27 (01:43:59):
Oh, well, it's off, Holy jump into.

Speaker 25 (01:44:03):
Horse of that.

Speaker 45 (01:44:04):
This is a horse.

Speaker 13 (01:44:11):
Shut, it's a horse county's feet.

Speaker 25 (01:44:16):
I'm not well race with a.

Speaker 14 (01:44:17):
Thing like that.

Speaker 61 (01:44:19):
Every time they should step, his stomach bunches along the
ground like a basketball.

Speaker 22 (01:44:25):
I can't ride him.

Speaker 41 (01:44:26):
I'll have to dribble him around the.

Speaker 7 (01:44:40):
Phil How could you buy that thing?

Speaker 27 (01:44:42):
It's the most way back the animal I've ever seen.

Speaker 13 (01:44:45):
He ain't sway back.

Speaker 3 (01:44:47):
No, you could sprinkle snow on his back and use
him for a ski jump.

Speaker 27 (01:44:56):
He looks like a rolly.

Speaker 61 (01:44:57):
Coaster that got away from Cinerama.

Speaker 56 (01:45:08):
He may not look like much, but he'll beat Willie's horse.
Come on, Julius, Mountain.

Speaker 27 (01:45:19):
You can't the.

Speaker 22 (01:45:22):
Only want to should not.

Speaker 41 (01:45:23):
This thing is a taxi good.

Speaker 3 (01:45:31):
I would be found on that neck.

Speaker 13 (01:45:33):
Wait a minute, Julius, Wait a minute? Where you going, Julius?

Speaker 20 (01:45:42):
Well there goes Willie Shoemacher's boy.

Speaker 13 (01:45:45):
Now what are we gonna do?

Speaker 22 (01:45:46):
Gerley, you don't have to ride?

Speaker 18 (01:45:47):
But I can't.

Speaker 13 (01:45:48):
Look, I can't get on a horse like well, here
comes Willy. Okay, okay, now I'm gonna have to ride him.

Speaker 34 (01:45:54):
Now.

Speaker 13 (01:45:54):
Look, I want you to to defend bluepot in front
of Willie or I'll never lift this down. I'll help
you steady, steady, Well, Philip, I'm ready for the race.
This is the horse I'm going to ride.

Speaker 5 (01:46:12):
What's that?

Speaker 22 (01:46:15):
It's a horse?

Speaker 13 (01:46:18):
What you think it was?

Speaker 20 (01:46:20):
Well, the way it SAgs in the middle, I thought
it was a cheap mattress.

Speaker 13 (01:46:26):
He's so sway back.

Speaker 12 (01:46:28):
He is not.

Speaker 13 (01:46:29):
He's tired, that's all. He ain't even one edge sway back.
He just happens to be the only race horse in
the world whose stomach starts from a kneeling position.

Speaker 20 (01:46:43):
Philip, Sureley, you don't expect to beat me with that
old thing.

Speaker 13 (01:46:46):
He ain't old horse, he ain't old you Just watch
him go when I get in that saddle and I say,
get him.

Speaker 20 (01:46:52):
Oh, curly, get something I forgot to tell you. Huh
the owner told me where you want to go?

Speaker 13 (01:46:57):
You don't say, giddy at?

Speaker 28 (01:46:58):
What do I say? Just yell on his ear to arms,
to arms.

Speaker 20 (01:47:01):
The British are coming.

Speaker 13 (01:47:13):
Well, let's get the race started, okay, fellas, Get.

Speaker 9 (01:47:16):
On your horses all right, Elliott, I'm on nine, Philip,
don't just stand there.

Speaker 20 (01:47:21):
Get on your horse.

Speaker 5 (01:47:22):
I am on my horse.

Speaker 27 (01:47:26):
Well, pick out of your legs.

Speaker 56 (01:47:28):
Your knees are dragging, all right, Get ready, fellas, when
I say go, you start.

Speaker 13 (01:47:36):
Steady. Now, look, old buddy, we're gonna break fast and
we're gonna take to the rail. On your mark, get
set go, we're off. That's it, boy, that's it easy now, hurly,
we're neck and neck.

Speaker 20 (01:47:48):
He I just hope I don't override you.

Speaker 13 (01:47:50):
Really, why I'm fat?

Speaker 20 (01:47:51):
Here and catch your horse.

Speaker 7 (01:48:02):
Excitement.

Speaker 13 (01:48:03):
I guess I forgot him. I wonder if I was
breathing so hard. Hold the horse ally and I'll get
on him again.

Speaker 11 (01:48:11):
We're gonna pick him up.

Speaker 27 (01:48:14):
Willie is way ahead of you.

Speaker 13 (01:48:16):
Why don't you give them Cherokee never gives up. This
horse can run, and I'll beat that Willy yet.

Speaker 53 (01:48:21):
Now come on, boy, that's got a boy.

Speaker 13 (01:48:27):
You broke nicely. I'll take it easy, easy voice. Save
yourself for the stretch. Oh man, we're traveling at a
nice steady cliff. Keep to the rail, baby, keep to
the rail. We'll catch up with Willie.

Speaker 7 (01:48:47):
Alice.

Speaker 13 (01:48:48):
Stop walking alongside of my heart makes them nervous. Come on, boy,
come on, let's get go.

Speaker 24 (01:48:59):
Come on.

Speaker 13 (01:49:09):
Now, we're traveling, baby, Chloe, we're gonna win this podcast.
Come on, Loue, come on, old baby, we're at the
corner pole over here. Okay, Curly, by the time you
showed up, I'm gonna waiting for you. I don't be funny.

Speaker 20 (01:49:23):
Where's Alice? She ran up ahead the brush and stones.

Speaker 7 (01:49:26):
Off the tip.

Speaker 27 (01:49:28):
Right here, Phil, honey, why don't you give me?

Speaker 13 (01:49:31):
Why should I? I'm not gonna give up. I'm doing
all right. I'll beat that brother of yours of it
the last thing I do.

Speaker 53 (01:49:36):
Come on, baby, please from Papa. I'd wake him up,
but I believe.

Speaker 13 (01:49:55):
He's going faster this way.

Speaker 14 (01:50:02):
Will you please gluey? Come on, baby, just a little
bit more.

Speaker 13 (01:50:05):
Please come on? Two arms, two arms, the pretties. You're coming.

Speaker 20 (01:50:12):
Nothing, Yeah, keep going, Curly, You're almost the finish line.

Speaker 13 (01:50:16):
I am come on, blue pot waked up? Don't you
even want to see the finish?

Speaker 7 (01:50:21):
Hey?

Speaker 13 (01:50:21):
Where all them people come from?

Speaker 39 (01:50:25):
What is you just won?

Speaker 20 (01:50:26):
Tomorrow's third rate? This is Phil again.

Speaker 13 (01:50:52):
I just want to remind you of our new time
following Bob Hope on Friday nights. It's what we call
H and H night That stands for a whole hair
No Harrison, Hope Harris and Hope Harris and well good night,
good night.

Speaker 9 (01:51:07):
Everybody included in this program transcribe with Jose Kerrn. The
part of Juliet was played by Walter Ttley. This has
been an MBC Radio Network production.

Speaker 8 (01:51:41):
Seventy two years ago, October second, nineteen fifty three, Phil
Harris and Alice fayon Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox.
Visit our web page at Classic Radio dot stream to
support the show and also ensure that we're able to
keep bringing you this intelligent conversation on what these shows

(01:52:01):
are all about, sort of if you can call it
that some of you don't, I know, Okay. Coming up
next here on Classic Radio Theater are Miss Brooks and
eve Arden.

Speaker 64 (01:52:17):
In case of enemy attack or grave national emergency, keep
listening to your radio. The emergency broadcast system will immediately
bring you official information and instructions. Stations will not give
call letters, but will identify the area they're serving, So
dial around till you find the right one in your
area and then follow the instructions given.

Speaker 8 (01:52:36):
Now we go back seventy six years to October two,
nineteen forty nine. Eve Arden As are Miss Brooks.

Speaker 7 (01:52:44):
Goldgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and bluster cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you our Miss
Brooks starring Eve Arden. Yes, it's time once again for

(01:53:05):
Eve Arden. In another comedy episode of ar Miss Brooks,
written by al lewis Well, the football fever is sweeping
through our schools once more, and Madison High School, where
ar Miss Brooks teaches English, is no exception.

Speaker 41 (01:53:18):
No.

Speaker 62 (01:53:18):
Indeed, most of the kids at Madison eat, sleep, and
talk nothing but football. Of course, it doesn't affect me
one way or another. When I start my class in
the morning, I simply bark the signal for order, call
my monitors into a huddle, and with a single wing
to the right, do a reverse line.

Speaker 27 (01:53:34):
Buck through the second act of Macbeth.

Speaker 62 (01:53:38):
Last Wednesday, when Walter Denton, one of my pupils, joined
my Landlady missus Davis, and me at breakfast, I chide
at him about not doing his homework properly.

Speaker 27 (01:53:48):
His reaction was instantaneous.

Speaker 19 (01:53:50):
I don't see how you can say that, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 59 (01:53:52):
What ever, since the fall term started, I've been doing
my football religiously.

Speaker 27 (01:53:59):
Stress.

Speaker 65 (01:54:00):
No, you be quite sure, Walter that those little coffee
cakes and the milk would be enough oil.

Speaker 19 (01:54:06):
No, ma'am, that's all I've got in the house. Oh,
then it'll be enough.

Speaker 27 (01:54:14):
Boy the realist, I wish.

Speaker 65 (01:54:16):
I had something else to offer you. A growing boy
should eat a big breakfast, especially an athlete like Walter.

Speaker 27 (01:54:23):
Athlete. Yeah, I told.

Speaker 59 (01:54:25):
Missus Davis about it before you came into breakfast, Miss Brooks,
I'm going out for the team this year.

Speaker 19 (01:54:29):
I've just got to get my letter you.

Speaker 27 (01:54:32):
But Walter, you don't seem to have too much aptitude
for athletics.

Speaker 59 (01:54:35):
Who hasn't on the only reason I didn't make the
football team last year was because I hurt my arm
trying out for the baseball team.

Speaker 3 (01:54:44):
Did you make the baseball team, dear?

Speaker 59 (01:54:47):
Oh no, Missus Davis, But only because I hurt my
foot trying to get my m in track. And I'd
have made that too if my ribs weren't so sore
from water polo.

Speaker 27 (01:54:59):
Well, that's one thing about.

Speaker 62 (01:55:00):
If he doesn't get his m from Madison, he'll get
it from the Mayo Brothers clinic.

Speaker 27 (01:55:06):
So maybe you'll be luck here this season, Walter.

Speaker 62 (01:55:09):
Now, as soon as you finish moistening your fingers and
picking cake crumbs off the tablecloth, we can get started
for school.

Speaker 19 (01:55:15):
Okay, miss Brooks.

Speaker 59 (01:55:16):
Gee, if I do make the team, I'll be playing
alongside my pal Stretch not dressed. He's one of the
best athletes Madison ever had.

Speaker 19 (01:55:22):
You know, really sure?

Speaker 27 (01:55:24):
He's a three letter man. He's a three letterman in
my English class too, After A B and C. He's
a goner.

Speaker 59 (01:55:41):
While we're almost there, Miss Brooks, we'll park down by
the athletic field if you don't mind. Stretch might be
working out early this morning.

Speaker 27 (01:55:47):
All right, Walter. You're certainly fond of the kid, aren't you.

Speaker 59 (01:55:50):
Yeah, he's my buddy, Miss Brooks, and I want you
to know that we're sure grateful you for keeping him
eligible this year. Gosh, if you didn't help him with
his studies after school, I don't know what would happen.
I do, Well, here's the football field.

Speaker 3 (01:56:05):
I'll just roll up these windows and lock your door.

Speaker 27 (01:56:09):
Well, you've got the ball, Why aren't you running with it?

Speaker 3 (01:56:14):
Can you team right through the window?

Speaker 27 (01:56:15):
Are you all right?

Speaker 7 (01:56:16):
Miss Brooks?

Speaker 27 (01:56:16):
If I am, I owe it all to my shatterproof skin.

Speaker 7 (01:56:20):
If you're not, sorry, books, I don't usually kick them
that crooked.

Speaker 19 (01:56:23):
Oh that's okay, Stretch.

Speaker 7 (01:56:24):
Gosh, look at all that glass. Lucky, the laces weren't cut.
That football is school property.

Speaker 27 (01:56:32):
I'm school property too. Let's take a look at my laces.

Speaker 7 (01:56:38):
Well, I'm sure glad you're okay, miss Brooks. The reason
I'm working out this early is because they're remodeling my
room at home, and I had to sleep on our
drafty back porch. I got a bad king in my leg.

Speaker 27 (01:56:47):
You got a king in your leg?

Speaker 7 (01:56:50):
Yeah, you know, like when you pull a lingament.

Speaker 27 (01:56:56):
Yeah, those lingaments can sure cause a lot of trumble
where I remodeling your room, Stretch.

Speaker 7 (01:57:04):
Well, you know, our live in quarters are behind my
father's pet shop. Yeah, and Dad got a big ship
with her marmosets in the other day and he needs
more space. But it's only temporary. It'll take a few
weeks to switch the bedrooms around. Then i'll be back
indoors again.

Speaker 59 (01:57:16):
Yeah, but meantime you can get a bad draft and
pull another lingament.

Speaker 27 (01:57:21):
Or even brews attendant.

Speaker 59 (01:57:25):
No kidding, Stretch, you gotta find another place to sleep.

Speaker 7 (01:57:28):
World is right, Stretch.

Speaker 27 (01:57:29):
Wait a minute, haven't you got an aunt who lives alone?

Speaker 7 (01:57:32):
You mean the one you met at the movies the
other night.

Speaker 27 (01:57:34):
Yes, she seemed inordinately fond of you.

Speaker 23 (01:57:37):
Oh, that's just the way she acts.

Speaker 7 (01:57:39):
She really likes me, But she lives way out on
Clark Street. That's halfway to Clay City.

Speaker 59 (01:57:48):
Look, if you're worried about getting to school in the morning, Stretch,
I'll be happy to pick you up and drive you in.
After all, if we're gonna be on a football team together,
who'll be practicing.

Speaker 19 (01:57:56):
A lot in the mornings.

Speaker 7 (01:57:57):
She that's awful.

Speaker 23 (01:57:58):
Nice of you.

Speaker 66 (01:57:58):
Water.

Speaker 7 (01:57:59):
I'll call at any before school this morning. I'm sure
she won't mind, and then I'll have my dad move
my things out there in our truck.

Speaker 27 (01:58:04):
Oh great, maybe the Marmosettes would carry them over for you.

Speaker 7 (01:58:08):
I'm sure glad you got the idea for me to move.
Miss Brooks, that porch is pretty drafty. Well, I'm gonna
practice a little while longer. How about you, Walter want
to work out?

Speaker 34 (01:58:16):
Oh?

Speaker 27 (01:58:17):
Sure, Stretch.

Speaker 19 (01:58:17):
How about you, Miss Brooks want to watch?

Speaker 62 (01:58:19):
No, thanks, Walter, I'd better get into school. Mister Conklin
wants to see me before my first class.

Speaker 27 (01:58:24):
I'm okay, but you don't know what you're missing.

Speaker 25 (01:58:26):
Whole Stretch.

Speaker 27 (01:58:27):
You're sure has an educated toe good let's hope it
may one day spread through his brain.

Speaker 7 (01:58:41):
Miss Brooks, I've summoned you here to my office to
commend you for the splendid work you're doing with Stretch
not graded.

Speaker 27 (01:58:47):
Well, thank you, mister Conklin.

Speaker 39 (01:58:49):
But you've got to keep that boy eligible for football.

Speaker 7 (01:58:51):
If Madison's team doesn't make a presentable showing this season,
I'll never hear the end of it from Jason.

Speaker 27 (01:58:56):
Brill, Play Cities principle the same.

Speaker 7 (01:58:59):
He's the pain of my existence, Miss Brooks. We've been
rivals a good many years, oh.

Speaker 27 (01:59:04):
Even before you were principals of rival.

Speaker 39 (01:59:06):
School, before we were teachers.

Speaker 7 (01:59:08):
Even in state normal, I found him abnormal. He'll go
to any lengths to defeat and embarrass me. Now. Brill
phoned me last night and said he'd be dropping in
to see me this morning. He said he'd have a
juicy bit of news for me. Well, if he thinks
he's got juicy news for me, I've got still juicier
news for him. Do you know what it is, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 27 (01:59:30):
You're opening an orange ade stands, please.

Speaker 7 (01:59:41):
I just learned that Biff Mooney, one of the greatest
college football players, is interested in a high school coaching job.

Speaker 39 (01:59:47):
In this part of the country.

Speaker 7 (01:59:49):
I've already opened negotiations for his services by mail, and
it's a foregone conclusion that he'll accept my offer. I
can't wait until I see the expression on Brill's when
I tell him about it.

Speaker 27 (02:00:06):
Some states that laugh would be banned.

Speaker 7 (02:00:11):
Come in. Good morning, Ozgod, Good morning to you, Jason.

Speaker 13 (02:00:17):
I have a juicy bit of news for you this morning.

Speaker 7 (02:00:20):
And I have a juicy bit of news for you too,
Oz Good.

Speaker 39 (02:00:24):
Oh, pardon me, how are you, miss Brookes?

Speaker 27 (02:00:26):
Juicy? Thanks Osgod.

Speaker 47 (02:00:31):
I've just signed Biff Mooney, the coach the TLA City
football team this season.

Speaker 39 (02:00:35):
Well, isn't that nice?

Speaker 7 (02:00:38):
Now, I'll just tell you what I've got that bce
Bif Mooney.

Speaker 27 (02:00:45):
Remember that expression you were waiting to see on mister
Brill's face. Yes, you're wearing it.

Speaker 7 (02:00:51):
I'll see here, Bil. In the first place, I don't
believe a man like Mooney would be knucklehead enough to
sign with your outfit. But even if he has a
good coach, can't make a team with art materi material.

Speaker 57 (02:01:01):
My last season, our backs went through your line like
it was damp cheese cloth.

Speaker 62 (02:01:05):
Well it's not going to be that way this season,
mister Breille, Go ahead, Miss Brooks, tell him.

Speaker 27 (02:01:10):
This season is going to be dry cheese claw.

Speaker 62 (02:01:14):
We got some great players on the squad, players like
Stretch Snudgrass.

Speaker 39 (02:01:18):
Stretch Snudgress.

Speaker 23 (02:01:19):
Who's he?

Speaker 42 (02:01:22):
That's him?

Speaker 34 (02:01:24):
What was that?

Speaker 7 (02:01:25):
I pardon me?

Speaker 23 (02:01:26):
Ods good?

Speaker 27 (02:01:27):
Is that a football in your lap?

Speaker 7 (02:01:28):
Or have you gone off your diet? I told those
kids a thousand times.

Speaker 14 (02:01:35):
Come in.

Speaker 7 (02:01:36):
Well, I'm awful. Sorry, mister Conston. I'm afraid I kicked
my football in here. I'm afraid you did, Stretch, but
I don't understand why.

Speaker 13 (02:01:43):
I thought.

Speaker 7 (02:01:43):
I told you to confine your practicing to the other
end of the field, but I did, mister Conston. That's
where I kicked it from. Well, there's absolutely no excuse
in the world nice skick for you mean to tell
me that that ball was propelled here by that boy's foot.

Speaker 27 (02:02:04):
It wasn't flown here by one of his Blue Jay
corn plasters.

Speaker 23 (02:02:09):
That, mister Brill is.

Speaker 7 (02:02:11):
Our Stretch Snodgrass, one of the greatest triple threat quarterbacks
in the country.

Speaker 13 (02:02:15):
Stretch, this is mister.

Speaker 7 (02:02:17):
Brill principle of play city high.

Speaker 66 (02:02:19):
Hi, Sir, hello SHIRWF you tell me.

Speaker 14 (02:02:24):
Where did you learn to kick like that?

Speaker 7 (02:02:26):
Oh, it's just natural with me, I guess. But if
you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss football no more.
This morning, I just got some bad news about my pal,
Walter Denton. He's been cut off the football squad. Why
stretch because he was a twenty ninth man and we
only got twenty eight uniforms.

Speaker 62 (02:02:41):
Well, it would be a little embarrassing if he were
sending as a substitute.

Speaker 7 (02:02:46):
I don't see how a spindly pippot like Denton can
go out to the team in the first place.

Speaker 39 (02:02:50):
He couldn't carry a football and a wheelbarrow.

Speaker 7 (02:02:54):
Please, mister Conklin, you're talking about my pal. There's nothing
he wouldn't do for me. God, when he heard I
was moving out to my aunt's place on Clark Street,
he even offered to.

Speaker 23 (02:03:03):
Pick me up every morning.

Speaker 13 (02:03:04):
Did you say you were moving to Clark Street?

Speaker 7 (02:03:07):
Yes, sir, way out in the thirty nine hundred block.

Speaker 23 (02:03:10):
But that's halfway to play city.

Speaker 57 (02:03:12):
Why you're in the district that Why don't we have
lunch together this afternoon?

Speaker 14 (02:03:17):
Boy?

Speaker 13 (02:03:18):
You stay in the school cafeteria about twelve.

Speaker 27 (02:03:22):
Just the two of them from the picture you were
meant for me?

Speaker 7 (02:03:28):
See here Brill Tell me, boy, do you kick them
that fall?

Speaker 23 (02:03:30):
Often?

Speaker 2 (02:03:31):
Well?

Speaker 7 (02:03:32):
With all I should do any Boston, I almost never done.
No kicking which the ball don't travel over seventy eighty
yards hardly amazing? And how do you pass in English?

Speaker 27 (02:03:41):
By the skin of his teeth?

Speaker 7 (02:03:54):
Hour and Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden will continue in
just a moment, But first here is Verne Smith proof
that brushing teeth right after eating with Coldgate dental cream
helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Continuous research hundreds
of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof in
all Datifrie research on tooth decay. Eminent dental authorities whopervise

(02:04:15):
hundreds of college men and women for over two years.
One group always brushed their teeth with Colgates right after eating.
The other followed their usual dental care. The group using
Colgate dental cream as directed. Using Colgates exclusively showed a
startling reduction and average number of cavities far less tooth decay.
The other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate.

(02:04:37):
No other Datafrice offers proof of these results. Modern research
indicates decay is caused by moth acids, which are at
their worse after meals or snacks. When you brush your
teeth with Colgates right after eating, you help remove acids
before they can harm enammos. Yes, Colgates contains all unnecessary ingredients,
including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care

(02:04:59):
and re Remember Colgates cleans your breath while it cleans
your teeth. Always use Colgate Little Cream right after eating
to help prevent new cavities. Help stop tooth decay before
it starts.

Speaker 62 (02:05:10):
All during my morning classes, I worried about Jason Brill
having lunch with Madison Star quarterbacks.

Speaker 27 (02:05:23):
When I communicated my fears to mister Conflin, he said.

Speaker 7 (02:05:26):
Miss Brooks, we've got to find out what that black
art is up to at all costs.

Speaker 62 (02:05:30):
So when lunch period finally rolled around, I followed the
blaguard into the school restaurant and borrowed an apron from
one of the girls behind the scene table.

Speaker 57 (02:05:39):
Come over here to this corner table stretch. We won't
be disturbed here, well, came mister Brill. Eh now sit down,
my boy.

Speaker 23 (02:05:48):
Now, then there's something I must talk to you about.
His strictest confidence.

Speaker 7 (02:05:51):
In strictest confidence, it concerns your football career.

Speaker 27 (02:05:54):
Who gets the lima beans?

Speaker 23 (02:05:56):
Eh, Miss Brooks, I thought this was a self service case.

Speaker 27 (02:06:00):
Oh it is, mister Brill.

Speaker 62 (02:06:01):
Except when we have a distinguished visitor like yourself, then
I like to see that he's well taken care of.

Speaker 27 (02:06:07):
I've brought you each the blue plate, just what.

Speaker 7 (02:06:10):
I wanted, sucker tash and lime of bees. Thanks, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 62 (02:06:13):
You're perfectly welcome, Stretch. Now please continue with your confidential conversation.

Speaker 24 (02:06:17):
Gentlemen, you are saying, mister Berl that you want to ye,
you wanted to tell you what a lovely day it is, sunshining,
not a bit humid, allow cumulus clouds do seem to
be gathering in the ease.

Speaker 7 (02:06:28):
In fact, it looks like we might be in for
a bit of a blow.

Speaker 27 (02:06:31):
This is going to be a weather report. I might
as well blow too.

Speaker 57 (02:06:34):
I'll go get some dessert for you to do that
you now, then, Stretch, I'll come right to the point
in your prison address on Clark Street. You're eligible to
enter Clay's City high and that's what I want.

Speaker 10 (02:06:44):
You to do.

Speaker 7 (02:06:44):
Transfer immediately, Transfer from Madison.

Speaker 57 (02:06:47):
Exactly you said yourself that your peale, Walter Denton couldn't
get on your football team because there's no uniform for him.

Speaker 23 (02:06:53):
Isn't that right?

Speaker 7 (02:06:54):
Yeah, well, every American.

Speaker 57 (02:06:55):
Boy should have the right to play football, shouldn't he.
Of course he should. Now with you off the medicine team,
there'd be another uniform available for Walter.

Speaker 23 (02:07:04):
I never thought of it like that. We will think
of it.

Speaker 7 (02:07:10):
He on economy, Walter won't get to play at all.
He'll never get his letter. Gosh, find Peal.

Speaker 57 (02:07:17):
I am, yes, I don't know why he even talks
to you now, Stretch. I've got to get back to
clay City High at once, but I've arranged for our
new coach, Fifth Mooney to meet you outside your main
gate after school.

Speaker 7 (02:07:29):
Fifth Mooney is here, your new coach of course.

Speaker 57 (02:07:31):
Now Biff will accompany you to your parents, Stretch, and
get their consent to the transfer.

Speaker 23 (02:07:35):
It's just a formality, you understand.

Speaker 7 (02:07:37):
Yes, sir, I guess if it's gonna help Walter, I'll
have to do it. I hate to think of what
mister Conklin will say twenty years about this.

Speaker 57 (02:07:43):
Don't forget about mister Conklin. We know that what we're
doing is right. It's for our pals happiness. There's absolutely
no reason to be afraid of mister Conklin.

Speaker 7 (02:07:52):
And I'll go right down and ask him for the trip.
You'll wait for it, wait till I get out of
the building.

Speaker 62 (02:08:06):
So you see, mister Conklin. Every time I got near
the table, they were talking about the weather.

Speaker 7 (02:08:10):
Oh, perhaps our ears were exaggerated, Miss Brooks granted Bill
might try to get away with something. Come in, well,
it's stretched Snodgrass. Come right in, my boy, Sit down here,
take my chair, Sit by the window till I open.

Speaker 23 (02:08:24):
It for you.

Speaker 7 (02:08:26):
You want the fan on?

Speaker 25 (02:08:28):
Hot?

Speaker 27 (02:08:28):
Howel teddy cures.

Speaker 7 (02:08:32):
You don't know what I'm here for. If you're worried
about that window you broke this morning, forget it. What
a kick that was. Thanks, But you still don't know
what I want, mister Conklin, name it and it's yours.

Speaker 13 (02:08:43):
What is it you want?

Speaker 7 (02:08:44):
My boy? I want to transfer to clay City High
Certainly I'll just sit down at my desk, get a
pen and fill out the necessity transfer to clay City.

Speaker 27 (02:08:54):
Hi, till.

Speaker 7 (02:08:59):
What poppy Cock did Bill feed you at lunch stretch?
He didn't feed me no, poppy Cock, it was Actas.

Speaker 13 (02:09:07):
But he can't get away with it this time.

Speaker 7 (02:09:09):
No matter what he told you, you can't transfer to
clay City. You don't live in their district.

Speaker 25 (02:09:14):
I do now what.

Speaker 7 (02:09:16):
I use them too, but I do now. You see, sir,
I've moved in with my aunt and she lives right
near clay City. Moved in with your aunt, and whose
bright idea was that?

Speaker 27 (02:09:30):
If you excuse me, I'm gonna lie down somewhere, Miss Brooks,
in front of a street car.

Speaker 62 (02:09:37):
I think you'll let me explain, mister Conkland, Stretch was
sleeping in the draft and I thought.

Speaker 7 (02:09:43):
That's your trouble, Miss Brooks, you think too much, Stretch,
you know about this transfer yet? No, sir, they just
know I'm gonna live with that many. But I'm meeting
fifth Mooney after school, and he's gonna ask him for
the permission.

Speaker 27 (02:09:55):
Stretch. Let me ask you a question. In all the
years you've been here, mister Conklin has always treated you fairly,
hasn't he. I'll rephrase the question. In fact, I'll forget it.
You promise me that you would drop into my classroom
after school today?

Speaker 7 (02:10:12):
Sure, Miss Brooks, let us if somebody will tell fifth
Mooney to wait for me, we'll.

Speaker 27 (02:10:16):
Take care of this Stretch.

Speaker 24 (02:10:17):
Now.

Speaker 27 (02:10:17):
Remember, I want you to come to my classroom immediately
after school.

Speaker 7 (02:10:20):
Okay, miss Brooks, see you letter, right, Stretch boy, mister Conklin.

Speaker 39 (02:10:23):
Not goodbye, Stretch, just aloha.

Speaker 23 (02:10:31):
We well, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 7 (02:10:35):
It was you who got us into this situation, and
I'll get.

Speaker 27 (02:10:38):
Us out of it.

Speaker 62 (02:10:38):
And I think I can, mister Conklin, I think I've
got a plan supposing instead of being taken to Stretcher's house,
this mooney were taken to my house.

Speaker 7 (02:10:46):
I don't understand Stretch wouldn't take him.

Speaker 20 (02:10:48):
To your house.

Speaker 27 (02:10:49):
No, the real Stretch wouldn't, and Stretch's real parents won't
be there either. But this Mooney doesn't know Stretch from
a hole in the ground?

Speaker 7 (02:10:56):
Does he come in?

Speaker 62 (02:11:00):
Oh, Walton Denton, I was just looking for Harriet night
Colin shake hands with a hole in the ground.

Speaker 23 (02:11:15):
I just can't believe that you're a stretched not.

Speaker 19 (02:11:18):
Grass for sure, I am mister Mooney.

Speaker 27 (02:11:19):
Who did you think was well?

Speaker 23 (02:11:21):
You just don't sound like mister Burle said you would
the way he described it. You talked well differently.

Speaker 59 (02:11:26):
What's the way I talk got anything to do with gee,
I ain't never said nothing to get insulted for it by.

Speaker 27 (02:11:31):
Nobody, hardly, I take it all back.

Speaker 19 (02:11:36):
Well, this is the house, mister.

Speaker 59 (02:11:37):
Mooney, Come on in.

Speaker 27 (02:11:38):
My old lady always leaves the door open for me.
All right, stretched, Oh, there's my dear.

Speaker 59 (02:11:43):
Old mom in their rocker.

Speaker 20 (02:11:44):
Mom.

Speaker 59 (02:11:45):
I want you should meet.

Speaker 23 (02:11:46):
Fifth Mooney, very pleased to make your acquaintance Missus Snodgrass.

Speaker 27 (02:11:49):
Likewise, I'm sure, mitter Mooney, if.

Speaker 23 (02:11:52):
You will harden my saying. So, ma'am yoused to seem
hardly old enough to be the mother of such a
big boy, ain't the true?

Speaker 13 (02:12:01):
Now?

Speaker 27 (02:12:01):
What can we do for your coach?

Speaker 39 (02:12:03):
Coach?

Speaker 23 (02:12:03):
Well, how did you know I was a football coach?

Speaker 27 (02:12:05):
Well, it's the since you don't crochet, no dallies for
a living? What a built on him?

Speaker 59 (02:12:18):
He wants me to transfer from Madison to Clay City High.

Speaker 27 (02:12:21):
Mah oh, now that's a serious step.

Speaker 23 (02:12:23):
I know it is, Missus Snodgrass. You see, it's for
the boy's own good, and that's why I'm here today
to get you to acquiesce stretch.

Speaker 27 (02:12:31):
This guy's getting fresh.

Speaker 23 (02:12:32):
Turn him out, don't you see?

Speaker 62 (02:12:35):
Man?

Speaker 23 (02:12:35):
We just want your sanction.

Speaker 27 (02:12:37):
My what uh, you're okay, you're okay too, But what
do you want?

Speaker 23 (02:12:44):
You want to stretch the transfer to play City High.

Speaker 62 (02:12:47):
Well, I don't know this here Madison learns him pretty good.
I think we'll keep him where he's at.

Speaker 23 (02:12:53):
Oh, please, missus Snodgrass, I don't don't be hasty. Maybe
we should discuss this with mister Snodgrass as well.

Speaker 19 (02:12:58):
Oh sure, pops right in the next room. I'll call him.

Speaker 27 (02:13:01):
Come in, Pie, meet the little man, mister Mooney.

Speaker 23 (02:13:07):
I'm delighted to know you, mister Snodgrass.

Speaker 7 (02:13:09):
Yous are too kind.

Speaker 14 (02:13:13):
He'd like to get you.

Speaker 23 (02:13:14):
Permissions for stretch to transfer to Clay City High. Mister Snodgrass.
Oh it's a wonderful school.

Speaker 7 (02:13:18):
Nothing doing transfers is for street cars. Our boy wouldn't
be happy, and no Clay City High at their school.
Just don't offer no advantages. No how, you don't offer nothing.

Speaker 23 (02:13:35):
No how, I don't see how you Fox can folks
can talk like this?

Speaker 27 (02:13:39):
Believe me, it ain't easy. I gotta go get supper, ready, Pie,
you get rid of say goodbye to mister Mooney for
me whenever he leaves, like right away. I hope.

Speaker 13 (02:13:51):
Okay, Ma, see you later.

Speaker 3 (02:13:54):
Well, I guess that's a story, mister Mooney.

Speaker 23 (02:13:56):
No, no, wait, Stretch, mister Snodgrass, if you let me
tell you something about play nothing doing.

Speaker 7 (02:14:01):
I ain't taking any chances with my only child's happiness.

Speaker 13 (02:14:04):
I I love this.

Speaker 7 (02:14:07):
Boy, Papa, dear, get out of here and help your
mom in the kitchen, you.

Speaker 19 (02:14:25):
See, mister Mooney, I love you too, Papa.

Speaker 7 (02:14:32):
I know, I know, mister Mooney. If you Stretch, what
are you hanging around for?

Speaker 27 (02:14:39):
Kiss me?

Speaker 47 (02:14:40):
Papa?

Speaker 27 (02:14:42):
Out of here.

Speaker 7 (02:14:47):
He's such an affectionate little jerk a youngster. You've always
been quite close.

Speaker 3 (02:14:52):
Excuse me, Daddy, but I saw your car outside and
the door was open.

Speaker 39 (02:14:55):
My daughter, Harriet, Harriet, go away, child.

Speaker 23 (02:14:58):
But Daddy, just and I thought you said that Stretch
was your only child.

Speaker 7 (02:15:02):
Dress your brother, Harriet. By going out into the kitchen,
your mother will explain the whole thing to you. Oh mother, here,
stop the question.

Speaker 39 (02:15:11):
Just go in and see.

Speaker 27 (02:15:11):
It's from the table, par well. It isn't ype, Oh Harriet,
it's how nice to see you. Why don't you go
home to your mother?

Speaker 25 (02:15:24):
She did come home to our mother, Ma, But I
don't understand.

Speaker 62 (02:15:34):
I guess it's time we told you, Harriet, I am
your mother your father, and I are your father and me.
We've been secretly married for sixteen years. Seventeen, I'm over seventeen.

Speaker 27 (02:15:54):
I'm hoping you wouldn't notice this.

Speaker 23 (02:15:56):
What is this all about, missus Snoddress. I demand to
know the truth.

Speaker 7 (02:16:00):
If it's not you, who might as well know the
whole story, Harriet. As a poor but honest immigrant, I
entered this country illegally. Your brother and I started out
from the old Country.

Speaker 27 (02:16:09):
Together, but I your mother couldn't make it. They shot
me at the border. Four years later, I was smuggled.

Speaker 7 (02:16:17):
Into the country with a group of Oriental laborers.

Speaker 27 (02:16:24):
Don't look down your nose at me, girl. I helped
build bolder damn.

Speaker 7 (02:16:32):
Mister Snodgress. Miss Brooks, ain't missus Snodgrass. My mother is
Missus Snodgrass. Go away, boy, we're busy. I waited in
miss Brook's classroom.

Speaker 23 (02:16:42):
Like she said, mister Conklin, Missus Brooks, what is all this?
And who are you?

Speaker 7 (02:16:47):
I'm stretched Snodgrass, stretch Snodgrass?

Speaker 19 (02:16:50):
Did you call me Biff?

Speaker 7 (02:16:54):
Are you GoIF? Mooney?

Speaker 23 (02:16:55):
I was when I came in here, but right.

Speaker 13 (02:16:56):
Now I.

Speaker 7 (02:17:00):
Oh it was absurd to think that this ridiculous scheme
would work. This is the real stretchnodgrass, mister Mooney. If
he wants to transfer, I guess there's nothing we can do.

Speaker 39 (02:17:08):
To stop him.

Speaker 27 (02:17:09):
And after all that iodine I used at the border, but.

Speaker 7 (02:17:14):
I won't need no transpero, mister Conflin, That's what I
come over to tell Miss Brooks. I talk to the
manager of the football team just now and he said
they're getting another uniform so Waller can be on the
team too.

Speaker 3 (02:17:24):
Oh boy, that's great stretch. Say instead of living with
your aunt, you can move in with me.

Speaker 7 (02:17:30):
You can move in with me.

Speaker 27 (02:17:33):
You can move in with you can sleep in the gym.

Speaker 7 (02:17:46):
Evardin is on. Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
But first, dream.

Speaker 66 (02:17:51):
Girl, dream girl, a beautiful.

Speaker 39 (02:17:55):
Luster cream girl.

Speaker 7 (02:17:57):
Good night, Yes, tonight show him how much lovelier your
hair can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream
World's finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives
Kdoman's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff, glistening

(02:18:22):
with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream
lathers instantly, no special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo,
so gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight,
try luster cream shampoo.

Speaker 66 (02:18:43):
Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl. You'll your
crowning glory too, a luster cream shampoooo.

Speaker 67 (02:19:00):
And now once again here is our miss Brooks well
after the smoke had cleared away, and also Walter Stretch
and Harriet, mister Contlon, and I took a very bewildered
Bis Mooney by the arms and pointed him toward the
nearest street car.

Speaker 7 (02:19:13):
And now, mister Mooney, you may return to your unscrupulous
employer and tell him that once again he has been
soundly defeated by superior brain power.

Speaker 27 (02:19:22):
Thank you, mister Contlan.

Speaker 20 (02:19:26):
Conton.

Speaker 23 (02:19:27):
I did get a contract from mister Brill, but if
he's going to get me into things like this all
the time, I've got a good mind not to sign it. Well,
if you'll excuse me.

Speaker 7 (02:19:34):
Now, hold on there, boy, you say you haven't signed
your coaching contract with Clay City. That's right, sir, Well,
mister Mooney, why don't we have dinner together at my place?
There's something I'd.

Speaker 13 (02:19:47):
Like to discuss with you.

Speaker 23 (02:19:48):
I guess that could be arranged.

Speaker 7 (02:19:49):
Fine, We'll have dinner at eight.

Speaker 62 (02:19:52):
You care to join us, Miss Broom, No thanks, I'm
going to Clay City tonight to see the fireworks.

Speaker 27 (02:19:57):
A fireworks unless I've miss calculated.

Speaker 62 (02:20:00):
If you and Biff for having dinner at eight, mister
Brill should be blowing his top at nine.

Speaker 28 (02:20:09):
Next week cloon into.

Speaker 7 (02:20:10):
Another our mess Rush show, brought to you by Mustard
Cream Samples to Coak flamorous to rushable hair and Colgate
Ttel Cream to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay ur Miss Brooks, starring
e Varden, is produced by Larry Burns, directed by Al Lewis,
with music by wilbra Hatch. Mister Conton was played by
Gail Gordon. Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan,

(02:20:31):
Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Leonard Smith, Frank Nelson and Life Ericsson.

Speaker 13 (02:20:40):
Men.

Speaker 7 (02:20:41):
Do you shave with the lather or brushless shaved cream?
Palmlive shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever way you
prefer to shave, you'll find that using either palm Olive
brushless or Palmolive lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves. Here's the proof. Twenty five hundred and
forty eight men tried the new palm Olive Wait to
Shave described on the tube, and no matter how they

(02:21:03):
had shaved before, three out of every four got more comfortable.

Speaker 28 (02:21:07):
Actually smoother shaves.

Speaker 7 (02:21:09):
Get Pamala of Brushless or Palmala of Lather Shaving Green
Today or Mystery Liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to mister
and Missus North the exciting fun fact Adventures of an
Amateur Detective at his Beautiful Wife Tune and Tuesday Evening
over most of these same stations. Andy with us again
next week at the same time, or another comedy episode
of our Miss Brooks Bob Lamann speaking. This is CDs

(02:21:32):
A Columbia Badcasting.

Speaker 8 (02:21:44):
And from seventy six years ago October two, nineteen forty
nine are Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. We'll check in
with Claudie and David.

Speaker 30 (02:21:53):
Next.

Speaker 68 (02:22:00):
Civil Defense is common Sense. This is Howard Deft with
this reminder six forty and twelve forty. These are the
Connell rad frequencies during a national emergency. Six forty and
twelve forty on your regular radio will be your only
official means of receiving vital information. Remember six forty and
twelve forty, And.

Speaker 8 (02:22:18):
You'll hear Howard Dupp is Sam Spade tomorrow here on
Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt TuS. But right now we're
going to check him with Catherine Bard and Paul Crabtree
as Claudia David in this episode of Claudia seventy eight
years ago October two, nineteen forty seven, dealing with the
wedding presence.

Speaker 7 (02:22:38):
Your Coca Cola butler presents Claudia Claudia based on the
original stories by Rose Franken Raw to you, transcribed Monday
through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottled Coca cola.

(02:23:01):
Relax and while you're listening, repress yourself.

Speaker 28 (02:23:05):
Have a coke. And now, Claudia.

Speaker 6 (02:23:37):
David, you haven't forgotten, have you?

Speaker 33 (02:23:38):
What?

Speaker 27 (02:23:39):
Today?

Speaker 6 (02:23:39):
We fixed breakfast for mamma.

Speaker 29 (02:23:40):
She's not going to like having breakfast on the train.

Speaker 6 (02:23:43):
She'll hate it.

Speaker 29 (02:23:44):
Oh fine, that's Harry, I'm ready, so am I come on?

Speaker 6 (02:23:47):
But she's still asleep. Walk on your toes.

Speaker 29 (02:23:53):
I feel like Nidzinsky. Who n Zensky?

Speaker 8 (02:23:57):
I don't know him.

Speaker 27 (02:23:58):
Hey, what's where you going?

Speaker 6 (02:24:00):
Who put that chair there?

Speaker 29 (02:24:02):
Who do you think?

Speaker 34 (02:24:04):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:24:04):
The kitchen's open the windows. I'll get the cream.

Speaker 36 (02:24:07):
We don't have We don't have to whisper anymore.

Speaker 29 (02:24:12):
Now what I do next?

Speaker 6 (02:24:14):
You set the tray and I boil the water for
the eggs, fry the bacon, make the coffee, toast the toast,
and squeeze.

Speaker 29 (02:24:21):
The juice all at the same time.

Speaker 6 (02:24:22):
Oh it, loon, you take me a second.

Speaker 29 (02:24:23):
You are a very talented person, missus nor Oh, I.

Speaker 6 (02:24:26):
Got everything ready last night. Just turn the stove on,
will you?

Speaker 29 (02:24:29):
Yeah, juice is all squeezed. Must be gremlins in the refrigerator.

Speaker 6 (02:24:33):
I said, I did everything last night. Poort in that picture? Mmm,
poured eggs are in, toast, is in coffee's in?

Speaker 27 (02:24:41):
Now we just wait.

Speaker 29 (02:24:43):
You know, maybe we ought to hire ourselves out as
a couple. There's money in it these.

Speaker 6 (02:24:47):
Days and no responsibilities. Can you bottle?

Speaker 29 (02:24:50):
I've got a white coat.

Speaker 6 (02:24:51):
That's for dentis tails or for butlers.

Speaker 29 (02:24:53):
Oh, tails are unfashionable.

Speaker 6 (02:24:55):
I think even Butler's say, David, are we going to
be rich?

Speaker 2 (02:25:00):
Day?

Speaker 7 (02:25:01):
I doubt it.

Speaker 42 (02:25:02):
That's good.

Speaker 6 (02:25:03):
I don't think i'd like to be rich.

Speaker 29 (02:25:05):
I married a wonderful woman. Why not.

Speaker 34 (02:25:08):
Oh it's so complicated.

Speaker 29 (02:25:09):
That's just as good a reason as any sides.

Speaker 6 (02:25:12):
I feel rich now, yeah, you do it very I
think the eggs are ready, I do not good. Then
you hold the tray.

Speaker 29 (02:25:21):
Okay, I'm good.

Speaker 6 (02:25:23):
Now toast the cereal.

Speaker 42 (02:25:28):
Bacon.

Speaker 6 (02:25:30):
Eggs are two minutes.

Speaker 29 (02:25:31):
The coffee is two minutes.

Speaker 6 (02:25:33):
The napkins.

Speaker 29 (02:25:35):
No room here, there's room where here? Under your arm, Claudia,
I'll drop everything. No, you won't, all right, I hear you.

Speaker 6 (02:25:41):
Let me see if I've forgotten anything?

Speaker 29 (02:25:43):
Nothing? Nothing? Come on?

Speaker 6 (02:25:44):
Oh yes, the sugar bucket.

Speaker 29 (02:25:45):
I will not carry it on my head.

Speaker 6 (02:25:47):
Who's asking you to open your mouth?

Speaker 14 (02:25:50):
My mouth?

Speaker 6 (02:25:50):
That's right. You can grab it with your teeth.

Speaker 29 (02:25:52):
Claudia, Claudia, I can't take another thing.

Speaker 6 (02:25:54):
Don't talk so much.

Speaker 42 (02:25:55):
You'll drop it.

Speaker 29 (02:25:56):
I'm going on here now, I've got.

Speaker 6 (02:25:57):
Wait, I forgot something.

Speaker 7 (02:25:58):
Oh lift your other I don't.

Speaker 29 (02:26:00):
Even with you for this.

Speaker 6 (02:26:02):
You wouldn't want mamma not to ever candlesticks lit your
other ns are very important to be well served. Breakfast okay, now,
come on, breakfast means brown breakfast ready?

Speaker 42 (02:26:18):
What's going on here?

Speaker 29 (02:26:20):
Good morning man, Good morning, ma'am.

Speaker 42 (02:26:23):
You're mad. Both of you are to have your committed here.

Speaker 6 (02:26:26):
David, I'll take a spin out of your mouth.

Speaker 28 (02:26:28):
There, you are just what you ordered.

Speaker 29 (02:26:30):
Man.

Speaker 42 (02:26:32):
You forgot the napkins. Use the sheet, lovely manners.

Speaker 29 (02:26:35):
Don't hear the napkins under my arm?

Speaker 6 (02:26:36):
What a funny place for them to be. Reproduce mama
before it gets warm?

Speaker 42 (02:26:40):
Why so it's a big picture, fool.

Speaker 6 (02:26:42):
But David nine tend to help you.

Speaker 29 (02:26:43):
We should have served it then, Aunt Louise is soup terring,
soup teren.

Speaker 27 (02:26:48):
Don't forget mama.

Speaker 6 (02:26:49):
We're bringing it back this afternoon.

Speaker 42 (02:26:50):
You mean you are, and you're going with me. You
promise I didn't know.

Speaker 29 (02:26:53):
That's all right. Stop arguing, dead or alive. That soupterreen
goes back. I'll eat your eggs, young lady.

Speaker 34 (02:27:00):
Four eggs.

Speaker 42 (02:27:01):
I can't eat four eggs.

Speaker 6 (02:27:03):
It's funny, David and I can eat for it.

Speaker 42 (02:27:04):
Then eat him.

Speaker 29 (02:27:05):
Missus Brown, you going to want all of that toad?

Speaker 42 (02:27:09):
Go on take it.

Speaker 6 (02:27:10):
You don't like bacon either, do your mom beg It
all lucky for us, isn't it, David. She's such a
fussy eater.

Speaker 29 (02:27:16):
We'll just have to leave her a candlestick.

Speaker 42 (02:27:18):
Never take the tray, please, David. You haven't eaten any
handy my Kimona over there, will you, claud.

Speaker 6 (02:27:22):
I'm so modest all of a sudden, perfectly decent.

Speaker 42 (02:27:24):
It's right on that chair.

Speaker 6 (02:27:25):
You've got as buck down as any bathing suit.

Speaker 42 (02:27:27):
I'm in bed, not in the water.

Speaker 6 (02:27:29):
Here, it is modest.

Speaker 42 (02:27:30):
Thanks.

Speaker 29 (02:27:31):
Hey, where do you think you're going?

Speaker 42 (02:27:33):
Since this is your breakfast, you get into bed and
you eat it.

Speaker 62 (02:27:35):
Mama, I'm going into the kitchen and make myself a
decent cup of coffee, and I shall drink it standing up.

Speaker 6 (02:27:54):
Oh dear, I'll be awfully glad to put this soup
tureen down. It feels as if it was full of soup.

Speaker 42 (02:27:58):
Girl looked at me the synceath this was your idea?

Speaker 6 (02:28:01):
Oh I don't like a store like pack. Yeas my
hat on straight, Mama.

Speaker 42 (02:28:06):
I can't tell is it supposed to be?

Speaker 23 (02:28:08):
No?

Speaker 6 (02:28:08):
Of course not, is it?

Speaker 23 (02:28:10):
Yes?

Speaker 42 (02:28:10):
Oh dear?

Speaker 6 (02:28:11):
Push it over my eye for me so I can
make a good impression, which I left.

Speaker 48 (02:28:16):
Are you being helped, madame? Uh no, not yet, just
a moment, please, I'll be right with you.

Speaker 6 (02:28:21):
Poor thing. He thinks he's gonna sell us something.

Speaker 42 (02:28:24):
We should have warned him. He's going to get his
order book.

Speaker 34 (02:28:26):
Mammy. You tell him me.

Speaker 42 (02:28:28):
I'm good to you for moral support.

Speaker 48 (02:28:30):
Well, now what can I do for you?

Speaker 7 (02:28:32):
Madame?

Speaker 42 (02:28:32):
It's my daughter.

Speaker 6 (02:28:33):
It's about this soup tene. I received it about three
weeks ago.

Speaker 48 (02:28:38):
And yes, it's lovely, isn't it one of our most
choice pieces?

Speaker 13 (02:28:42):
Oh?

Speaker 42 (02:28:42):
Go on, Claudia, I like it very much too, Nies.

Speaker 48 (02:28:45):
So you've got another one like it?

Speaker 28 (02:28:47):
Is that it?

Speaker 25 (02:28:48):
Uh?

Speaker 42 (02:28:48):
Yes, yes, that's it.

Speaker 48 (02:28:49):
So you wish to return it?

Speaker 6 (02:28:51):
I'd like to if it's all right?

Speaker 48 (02:28:53):
Do you wish it credited? Or will you purchase something
else nowt please?

Speaker 6 (02:28:57):
I I'd rather purchase something another day, or could I
have the money back?

Speaker 42 (02:29:01):
Shame this but sensible, of course, madam?

Speaker 48 (02:29:04):
Your name pleassus David Norton.

Speaker 6 (02:29:06):
But it was sent to me, is missus Claudia Brown?

Speaker 48 (02:29:08):
Oh I see a wedding gear. Yes, we get a
number of exchanges on those. I'll just take it to
check the original purchase. If you don't mind, and I'll
be with you in the moment.

Speaker 6 (02:29:17):
Well, he's aftly nice about it, wasn't he. They're used
to it, Mamma, mamma, look over there, don't look.

Speaker 42 (02:29:23):
How can I look if I don't look?

Speaker 6 (02:29:25):
Oh, cheating shows, that's all I can say.

Speaker 29 (02:29:27):
Cheating shows.

Speaker 42 (02:29:29):
You're talking about?

Speaker 29 (02:29:30):
What shows?

Speaker 48 (02:29:31):
Cheating?

Speaker 10 (02:29:31):
What do we do?

Speaker 29 (02:29:32):
What is it?

Speaker 6 (02:29:33):
It isn't an it. It's Aunt Louisa.

Speaker 42 (02:29:35):
That's not funny. Now, don't fool about such thing.

Speaker 6 (02:29:38):
Not what she's right over there in the flat silver.

Speaker 42 (02:29:41):
I don't believe. Oh yes I do. It is Aunt Louisa.
She's looking this way.

Speaker 60 (02:29:46):
What we do?

Speaker 34 (02:29:47):
What you do?

Speaker 25 (02:29:47):
You mean?

Speaker 34 (02:29:48):
Mammy?

Speaker 6 (02:29:48):
You can't leave me?

Speaker 42 (02:29:49):
Why not? I told you I didn't want to be
a party to this.

Speaker 6 (02:29:52):
Aunt Louisa lives aid paciets, but she has a bed
under the counter.

Speaker 42 (02:29:56):
And quiet, and maybe she won't see us.

Speaker 29 (02:29:58):
She sees us here.

Speaker 42 (02:29:59):
She can't you talk first?

Speaker 6 (02:30:01):
I will not you better because I'm not going to
open my mouth.

Speaker 42 (02:30:04):
It is all your fault, my fault. I said you
should have some sentiment and keep the terene.

Speaker 27 (02:30:08):
It's too late.

Speaker 50 (02:30:09):
We lost why My dear is quite a nice surprise.

Speaker 42 (02:30:13):
Hey, Louisa, Hello and Claudia.

Speaker 6 (02:30:16):
Hello, Aunt Louisa.

Speaker 50 (02:30:17):
How nice to see you child? So sorry I couldn't
come over Tuesday evening. H's these allergies of mine. I
think I discovered a new one silver polish.

Speaker 6 (02:30:26):
Maybe you shouldn't stay here at Louisa with.

Speaker 42 (02:30:28):
All this silver.

Speaker 27 (02:30:29):
It's too late, dear.

Speaker 50 (02:30:32):
When are you going to bring that husband of yours
over to meet me soon? Your generation has no family feeling.
You go about your ways as if relatives didn't exist.
Now if your father were alive, we won't talk about
that now, Claudia, What are you twisting about like that?

Speaker 34 (02:30:46):
For nothing?

Speaker 19 (02:30:47):
I was just looking The service here is slow but.

Speaker 42 (02:30:50):
Good very You may have lovely things in pac here.

Speaker 19 (02:30:53):
Yes, I always buy my gifts here. I got Claudia's
soup toureen here.

Speaker 50 (02:30:57):
Yes, I know thought of sending the child a chair,
Oh had Louisa? Then I thought a check is so unsentimental,
especially for my dearest brother's only child.

Speaker 48 (02:31:07):
Here you are miss not now about this soup to read?

Speaker 34 (02:31:11):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (02:31:12):
Have you got another one just like it?

Speaker 48 (02:31:14):
What did you say?

Speaker 42 (02:31:15):
Godia?

Speaker 6 (02:31:16):
Have you got another one just like it?

Speaker 5 (02:31:18):
But I thought that Jadia isn't that the tour and
I sent you?

Speaker 42 (02:31:22):
Yes it is, Yes, Louisa, Claudia feet David.

Speaker 6 (02:31:29):
And I liked it so much that I decided to
come down by another one just like it, didn't I?

Speaker 16 (02:31:35):
Mama?

Speaker 13 (02:31:35):
Yes you didn't.

Speaker 7 (02:31:36):
What was that?

Speaker 13 (02:31:37):
Missus?

Speaker 23 (02:31:37):
Not?

Speaker 10 (02:31:38):
Now?

Speaker 3 (02:31:38):
That's really charming?

Speaker 50 (02:31:39):
But Claudia, can you use two soup to read?

Speaker 6 (02:31:42):
Yes, David's crazy about soup. He likes one at each
end of the table.

Speaker 19 (02:31:46):
That's rather an attractive idea.

Speaker 48 (02:31:48):
Never thought of it, but missus notton a moment ago?

Speaker 6 (02:31:50):
No, but have you got another just like it?

Speaker 13 (02:31:53):
Yes?

Speaker 22 (02:31:54):
We have dozens, but well, but I have just one more?

Speaker 35 (02:31:59):
Just one will do?

Speaker 27 (02:32:00):
Fine?

Speaker 21 (02:32:01):
Please?

Speaker 42 (02:32:12):
That's David. Why doesn't he use his key?

Speaker 6 (02:32:15):
The lock doesn't work for him yet?

Speaker 23 (02:32:17):
Well?

Speaker 42 (02:32:18):
Go let him in, you go, Mama, I should say,
not the your soup dreams?

Speaker 35 (02:32:23):
Mama?

Speaker 27 (02:32:23):
What'll he say?

Speaker 42 (02:32:25):
How would I know you married him?

Speaker 10 (02:32:27):
Not? I?

Speaker 6 (02:32:27):
Yes, But if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be me.

Speaker 42 (02:32:32):
Aren't you gonna let him in at all?

Speaker 62 (02:32:33):
To night?

Speaker 22 (02:32:34):
Say?

Speaker 6 (02:32:34):
That's an idea?

Speaker 42 (02:32:35):
I wouldn't try him? Well, go on, I'm going just
dandy still?

Speaker 22 (02:32:42):
Who am I I'm coming?

Speaker 27 (02:32:45):
I hear you.

Speaker 29 (02:32:49):
Oh, hello, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello?

Speaker 6 (02:32:55):
Oh? Don't you say hello to mama?

Speaker 29 (02:32:58):
Hello?

Speaker 25 (02:32:58):
Mama?

Speaker 7 (02:32:59):
Hello?

Speaker 34 (02:32:59):
David?

Speaker 29 (02:33:00):
Is this where I really live?

Speaker 6 (02:33:03):
What do you mean?

Speaker 29 (02:33:05):
This is a fine reception for a stranger, but for
a husband, so many hellos and so little else?

Speaker 6 (02:33:11):
Uh uh du don't sit there, David, come into the bedroom.

Speaker 29 (02:33:13):
Wait a minute, now, let me sit here for a second.

Speaker 42 (02:33:16):
Well, now that you're home, David, I'm going to put
the supper on.

Speaker 6 (02:33:19):
Don't go, Mama.

Speaker 29 (02:33:20):
What's the hurry, missus?

Speaker 42 (02:33:21):
Bruce? It's the chicken, David. I want to watch it.

Speaker 29 (02:33:23):
We'll watch it later. Claudia, Yes, Claudia, what is that
I see over there where on the table in front
of the window.

Speaker 6 (02:33:36):
I don't see anything.

Speaker 48 (02:33:37):
There is two of them you're seeing.

Speaker 42 (02:33:39):
Doumbel and drinking again.

Speaker 6 (02:33:41):
Men are all the same they.

Speaker 42 (02:33:42):
Mama probably thinks he's seeing two soup tureens.

Speaker 28 (02:33:44):
Huh huh is right? Huh?

Speaker 29 (02:33:47):
What's going on here?

Speaker 19 (02:33:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 42 (02:33:49):
We're asking you that chicken needs me?

Speaker 29 (02:33:51):
Bye bye, Mama, Claudia, Is that or is that not?
Two soup direnes on the table?

Speaker 50 (02:33:58):
Isn't it?

Speaker 40 (02:33:59):
Are?

Speaker 48 (02:34:00):
Isn't what?

Speaker 7 (02:34:00):
Are well?

Speaker 6 (02:34:02):
Two soup tureens is plural.

Speaker 68 (02:34:03):
Shouldn't it be?

Speaker 20 (02:34:04):
Are?

Speaker 29 (02:34:04):
They don't get grammatical, Just answer me it are? It
is thought ya slowly dear in words of one syllam.
How come when this morning we only had one and
you went to return it to night we have two?

Speaker 6 (02:34:22):
Oh, darling, you know how soup duerenes are?

Speaker 42 (02:34:25):
No you tell me, Oh, David, how could I return it?

Speaker 6 (02:34:28):
She was so nice and and she had her allergies again.
And she is my father's only sister, and I'm my
dearest brother's only child.

Speaker 7 (02:34:35):
Oh, she was there.

Speaker 19 (02:34:37):
What could I do?

Speaker 29 (02:34:38):
Aunt Louisa must have been very, very touched.

Speaker 6 (02:34:41):
She was. It was almost worth it.

Speaker 60 (02:34:43):
Oh, don't seek.

Speaker 6 (02:34:44):
We could learn to love them, David.

Speaker 29 (02:34:46):
If I live long enough, they'll grow on. They've grown
enough already.

Speaker 6 (02:34:50):
Don't worry, darling. I'll think of something. They'll come in handy.

Speaker 7 (02:34:53):
How for?

Speaker 29 (02:34:54):
What for?

Speaker 20 (02:34:55):
Why for?

Speaker 7 (02:34:55):
When I know?

Speaker 27 (02:34:58):
For bath tubs for babies?

Speaker 29 (02:35:02):
Claudia, I is just thinking, David, just thinking.

Speaker 7 (02:35:24):
All story material used in this broadcast of Claudia was
under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney.
When company comes, how grand it is to be able
to say howdy? Neighbor have a coke just like old times.
Now you can stock up, order coke by the case

(02:35:45):
if you like, and keep it handy when folks drop
in to visit. Now you can step up to the
familiar red cooler if your favorite refreshment stand, launch room,
or service station, and ask for coca cola and get it.
And the price is still five cents. Every day, Monday

(02:36:13):
through Friday, Claudia comes to you, transcribed with the best
wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca cola. So
listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this
is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are,
whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think

(02:36:33):
of refreshment, think of coca cola or ice. Coca Cola
makes any pause, the pause that refreshes.

Speaker 23 (02:37:20):
There you have it.

Speaker 8 (02:37:21):
Seventy eight years ago, October two, nineteen forty seven, Claudia
here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox. We'll get
to drama tomorrow. In addition to another episode of Claudia,
we'll have the adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Christian sam Spade,
and the whistler Hemma. Hopefully have you around. Thank you
so much for making us a part of your day.

(02:37:43):
Have a great Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow. For more
classic radio theater, I'm Wyatt Cox.

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Classic Radio 10-02-25 - Mayor Latrivia Back from the War, Leila's Wedding, and Phil's Horse

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 10-02-25 - Mayor Latrivia Back from the War, Leila's Wedding, and Phil's Horse