Classic Radio 10-06-25 - Ignorance, Werewolves, and the World Series - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Huspense, Shadow, Node Washington calling David Honey.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Count as my classic radio theater, the Great Yonder Slave,
Viper McGee and Molly Dragon gun Alone rain Zo.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine.

Speaker 5 (00:31):
It's your host, Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 6 (00:34):
Good evening Friend, Vionna tangu.

Speaker 7 (00:39):
Comedy on a Monday with episodes of It Pays to
Be Ignorance, Dan Freebird, Jack, Benny, the Great gilders Sleeve
and Claudia. That's all straight ahead on this Monday, sixth
day of October two hundred and seventy ninth day of
the year. Eighty six days left until we get to
twenty twenty six. Here's what's going on on this date.

(01:02):
In sixteen eighty three, William Penn brought thirteen German immigrant
families to the colony of Pennsylvania, marking the first German
people to immigrate to America. In eighteen eighty four, the
Naval War College of the US Navy founded in Newport,
Rhode Island. In eighteen eighty nine, Thomas Edison showed his
first motion picture, and it was on this date. In

(01:26):
nineteen twenty seven, the opening of the jazz singer the
first prominent talking movie.

Speaker 8 (01:34):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, you ain't heard nothing yet,
Wait a mine, you ain't heard nothing.

Speaker 9 (01:40):
You want to hear kirker kutry, all right, hold on no, look.

Speaker 10 (01:45):
Right to kirk cirtree three horry Dan.

Speaker 11 (01:47):
In the third chorus, I wi them.

Speaker 12 (01:49):
I'll give it him hard and headache.

Speaker 13 (01:50):
All right ahead, good, good, goodbye, good back.

Speaker 11 (02:00):
Don't cry, just a train that takes.

Speaker 14 (02:05):
Me away from you.

Speaker 11 (02:07):
Don't don't get out that it makes me.

Speaker 15 (02:09):
Don't shot me, quit it and.

Speaker 12 (02:11):
There ow wow, I'm going it over again.

Speaker 15 (02:16):
What for the mayor?

Speaker 4 (02:18):
I have a mayor.

Speaker 16 (02:20):
If you don't get a.

Speaker 17 (02:20):
Lad again, you more tail?

Speaker 8 (02:22):
Hey, hey, don't ride me, don't cry, kill me good bye.

Speaker 7 (02:30):
Now that's from nineteen twenty seven. That's public domain, So
there you go. Uh the jazz singer opening on this
date in nineteen twenty seven, that's ninety eight years ago.
In a speech to the reichstad on this date in
nineteen thirty nine, German Chancellor ADL. Pickler spoke his plan
to reorder the ethnic layout of Europe, as he called

(02:52):
it the Jewish problem, as I ain't gonna.

Speaker 18 (02:56):
Be on this date.

Speaker 7 (02:59):
Ten years later, nineteen forty nine, US born journalist Iva
Tuguri Di'akimyo sentenced to ten years in prison for treason
for what was claimed to be her role as Japanese
wartime broadcaster Tokyo Rose.

Speaker 19 (03:17):
Hello, are you beginning now?

Speaker 7 (03:20):
She was tried for treason as we said in nineteen
forty nine, convicted of treason on one count, and served
a prison sentence. The conviction based on exaggerated claims and
coerce testimony. In nineteen seventy seven, President Ford granted her
a presidential pardon after investigations reeled that key witnesses had

(03:43):
been pressured to lie. She passed away in two thousand
and six at the age of ninety. Other things that
took place on this date in history. Nineteen sixty the
historic drama Spartacus, starring Kirk Doug and directed by Stanley Kubrick,
had its world premiere in New York City.

Speaker 20 (04:05):
I'm Spartacus, I'm Spartacus.

Speaker 7 (04:08):
I'm well, look at me, I'm not Spartacus. And this
date in nineteen sixty six, LSD declared illegal in the US.
And it was on this date in nineteen seventy three,
You'm keep her the holiest day of the year for
the Jewish people. Arab armies has invaded Israel. With America's help,

(04:31):
Israel eventually held its ground, but the Arabs would retaliate
against the US, something Interior Secretary Rogers Morton predicted on
the first day of the war.

Speaker 21 (04:42):
If we're cut off from Middle Eastern oil, it means
that probably during the years of seventy four, seventy five
and seventy six, we will have to manage a considerable shortage.

Speaker 7 (04:53):
Eighty thousand Egyptian troops crossed the Suez Canal, destroyed the
fortified Israeli bar Lev Line, and started the Kipper War.
In nineteen seventy six, A lot of people believed Gerald
Ford would have been elected to a full term as
president if not for two things. One was the pardon
of President Nixon. The other was making this statement during

(05:15):
a broadcast debate with Jimmy Carter, there is.

Speaker 22 (05:19):
No Soviet domination of Eastern Europe and there never will
be under a Ford administration.

Speaker 7 (05:26):
Which denying the obvious. I mean the Soviets were going
after Eastern Europe, and they did their part to make
sure that Eastern Europe was a communist. In nineteen seventy nine,
Pope John Paul the Second became the first pontiff to
visit the White House. Before he went to see President Carter,

(05:48):
he thrilled some average Americans, John, who he won? You
that was still beat back in the day when public
officials could go out in the crowd and not have
to deal with a lot of ned cases. But they
were still out there. You know, we've seen that happen

(06:11):
even back then, but it still wasn't as prevalent as
it is today.

Speaker 23 (06:15):
Now.

Speaker 7 (06:15):
Other things that took place on this dat in history
nineteen eighty one. Two years later, the Egyptian President Amar
Al Sadat assassinated.

Speaker 24 (06:24):
Everyone was watching the parade. It was going along beautifully.
President Kaddad seen it enough being merged when suddenly shots
were fired by what appeared to me to be young
soldiers from an anti tank unit that was mobile and
was passing his reviewing stan. It took a few seconds
for those of us around the area to realize that
this was not part of display. It was for real

(06:46):
and the shops were being aimed directly as President Saddad,
vice President of Obaris next to him, and the fence
Minister Aber Gazzala.

Speaker 7 (06:53):
On the other side, reporter Doreen Case is not killed
by fundamentalist army officers. He was sixty two years of age.
Yugoslavian President slovanam Melosovic resigned on this date in two thousand.
In two thousand and seven, Jason Lewis completed the first
human powered circumnavigation of the Earth. It was fifteen years

(07:16):
ago today twenty ten Instagram founded by Kevin Seistrom and
Mike Krieger that would eventually be swallowed up by the
folks that then Facebook now Meta. And it was in
twenty eighteen the Senate confirmed Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme
Court Associate Justice, ending a contentious confirmation process. Among those

(07:40):
passing away on this date in history, pro wrestler and
commentator Guerrilla Monsoon.

Speaker 25 (07:46):
Obvious to everyone that some of the superstars here in
the World Wrestling Federation are completely out of control, especially
you bat the hit Man Heart. Well, if you think
for one moment you're going to be allowed to run
rapid here in the World Wrestling Federation, well you can
just guess again, because the wheels have been set in
motion already by me and my executive committee, who are

(08:09):
formulating a list of names, and this Monday Night on Raw,
a commissioner will be named to rectify the situation.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
At that time, Guerrilla Monsoon was the figurehead leader of
the WWFT president such as it is, but at six
foot seven, four hundred and one pounds, and he was
quite the wrestler in his time. Had a number of big,
serious matches during his time back. Probably one of the

(08:42):
most interesting things that happened is during a television taping
in nineteen seventy six, Muhammad Ali was ringside for a
taping preparing for his bout with Antonio Enoki over in Japan.

(09:03):
He jumped in the ring at Monsoon, who had finishing
a match. Ollie took his shirt off, started dancing around him.

Speaker 22 (09:13):
Well.

Speaker 7 (09:16):
Monsoon picked up Ali, put him in an airplane spin,
slammed into the mat and of course he maintained what
they liked to call k fabe. He never never admitted
whether or not that was fixed. We lost Gorilla Monsoon
on this date back in nineteen ninety nine. Let's see,

(09:38):
among others passing away on this date, Alfred Lord Tennyson,
also Terrence Cardinal Cook, the Catholic archbishop, band leader Nelson Riddle,
actress Betty Davis, the stand up comedian and actor Ralphie
May from The Walking Dead, Scott Wilson, the drummer of
the rock band Cream Baker, the very funny Rip Taylor

(10:03):
who had this outrageous persona, but he was he was
a sweet man. Also Eddie Van Halen passing away on
this date five years ago, as did singer songwriter Johnny Nash.

Speaker 26 (10:18):
Now.

Speaker 7 (10:18):
Birthdays on this date include Millie Small, my Boy Loneipop,
the pro wrestler Bruno Sam Martino. He held I mean
he held a record that could never be broken. He
was the champion of the World Ride Wrestling Federation before

(10:39):
it was the World Wrestling Federation for years and years
and sold out Madison Square Garden just a ton of
times just because he was an Italian strong man. Also
Thor Heyerdahl, The Explorer, actress Carol Lombard, actress Janet Gaynor,
the inventor Radio Pip Your, Reginald Fessen, and soprano Jenny

(11:03):
Lynn all born on this date. They have now left
the building.

Speaker 27 (11:08):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 28 (11:10):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 29 (11:12):
The following people are now officially older than dirt.

Speaker 7 (11:16):
The lovely Swedish actress Britt Ecklund is eighty three years
old today. You knew her from a bunch of movies,
including Karate Kid, Cocktail and even the CSI. Elizabeth Shoe
sixty two today.

Speaker 30 (11:32):
That was a red light I walk you stopped.

Speaker 31 (11:37):
You Sorry?

Speaker 22 (11:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (11:39):
Good with Nicholas Cage from leaving Las Vegas. There Elizabeth
Shoe sixty two years old today. The very first Pink
Power Ranger Amy Joe Johnson. Also from Felicity, She is
fifty five years old today. From Six Feet Under and
Law and Order, Jeremy Sisto is fifty one one, and

(12:01):
from Harry Potter and The Vampire Diaries Scarlet Burn is
thirty five. Those just a few of the people celebrating
the sixth day of October is their birthday. If this
is your birthday.

Speaker 14 (12:16):
We bake you a birthday cake.

Speaker 12 (12:19):
If you get it on me a and you moan
and grown and low.

Speaker 14 (12:24):
Don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 32 (12:28):
MCA wishneer and blow off the candles.

Speaker 14 (12:32):
Here they go.

Speaker 7 (12:35):
Well now an Armed Forces recording coming up next of
it pays to be ignorant. Very few non armed forces
recordings of this program exists. Once you listen, you'll understand
why that's next.

Speaker 33 (13:00):
A wise farmer knows that he must get his livestock
undercover to protect them from radioactive fallout. An attack may
never come, but it's wise to prepare.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Now.

Speaker 7 (13:09):
We continue now with an episode of It Pays to
be ignorant this program an Armed Forces recording of the
show that was broadcast eighty one years ago October sixth,
nineteen forty four. And the guests of this wacky Bunch
his deems Taylor.

Speaker 13 (13:30):
Why do people eat garlic so you can find them
in the dark?

Speaker 22 (13:33):
Correct? Pay that man eight dollars. How do you.

Speaker 12 (13:40):
Make Andy three hyder pajamas?

Speaker 22 (13:42):
Correct? Pay that man nine dollars, Because it.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Pays to be ignorant.

Speaker 34 (13:47):
As eighty half hour with those Masters of Insanity Harry McNaughton,
George Shelton, the Nailop Girl, Lula McConnell, and featuring dark
Novic's orchestra.

Speaker 35 (14:01):
As the assistant.

Speaker 9 (15:13):
But now here's the man who pulls It pains to
be ignorant, Tom Howard.

Speaker 13 (15:20):
You have a quarterbacks first, who are so dumb they
think the Mayor of New York is a horse First
we have the celebrated author. First we have the celebrated author,
mister Harry McNaughton, who has just written a book entitled
he who gets up early with the son shouldn't stay
up late with the daughter. But here he is. Here
he is mister Harry McNaughton. He has a pole. I
have a poem, yet precisely good. Nelly ruse set on

(15:44):
a tech, Nellie rude, Nellie rode.

Speaker 22 (15:50):
Silly and never mind.

Speaker 13 (15:52):
Next we have a woman. Next, we have a wound
so fat. When she walks along Lower Broadway, people throw
ticker tape out the window. They think it's a parade.
A woman who, once he visits you can stay longer
in a half hour than honey, anyone else can stay
in the week. Here she is the pinup girl of
Lower Basin Street. Miss Lulu McConnell.

Speaker 18 (16:11):
You know I got a dumb thing this morning.

Speaker 22 (16:13):
I know you woke up, I.

Speaker 36 (16:17):
Slept you did, Yeah, but didn't my hurry to get
my own man he's breckfast. I gave him a bot
of soup flakes instead of corn flaks.

Speaker 22 (16:25):
Yes, so I put milk on them and nath them.
Oh was he mad when he chases them mad.

Speaker 18 (16:30):
He was frothing at the mouth.

Speaker 22 (16:33):
See what you mean.

Speaker 13 (16:34):
N If you have a man who was so anemik looking,
if he ever fell asleep in a tux seed a suit.

Speaker 22 (16:39):
They'd bury him. A man, a man who, a man.

Speaker 13 (16:42):
Who when he was a kid, his mother had to
buy him back from the dog catchers three times. Here
he is the flower of his family that bloomin. Idiot,
mister George Shump. So you know, mister Hart, I'm having
a little trouble with my landlady over at the Bourntonhow
I say he was the trouble. Well, you know, such
the shortage of help and everything. I've been kind of
helping around the place a bit watch night. But you
can't please the old dame. Everything I do is wrong.

(17:05):
I see she bore me out yesterday for not changing
the water in the goldfish bowl.

Speaker 22 (17:09):
I see why didn't you change it?

Speaker 13 (17:11):
I hadn't drank the water I put in there yesterday.
We allow the art folks from now one, we guarantee nothing.
Now here's the first question.

Speaker 8 (17:20):
Howard, Yes, mister Howard, we have a visitor tonight. And
here he is that distinguished composer and music commentator mister
Deames Taylor.

Speaker 13 (17:34):
Well, this really is a surprise, mister Deames Taylor. At
least we're getting intelligent people on this program. How do
you do, mister Taylor, This is indeed a honor.

Speaker 19 (17:44):
We thank you, mister Hard.

Speaker 13 (17:46):
Let me introduce you to the experts. Mister Taylor, allow
me to introduce you to mister Harry McNaughton.

Speaker 19 (17:53):
How do you do, mister McNaughton.

Speaker 13 (17:54):
Oh, I've never met mister Deams, but it's a pleasure
to meet miss Taylor.

Speaker 22 (18:00):
Miss McNaughton, this is not mister Deans's Taylor.

Speaker 12 (18:02):
Well, why didn't you say it was? Paul?

Speaker 37 (18:04):
Why do you have to lie like that?

Speaker 22 (18:05):
I didn't say it. I didn't say it was mister
Deans's tailor. Certainly did you sut it in and you
said it?

Speaker 12 (18:11):
I quote? Are you mister mc norton, meet mister Deames Taylor.

Speaker 22 (18:15):
I know I did.

Speaker 13 (18:17):
What I didn't say was mister Deans's Taylor. Are you
feeling well, mister Hard, I said this was mister Deames Taylor,
not the tailor of mister Dean.

Speaker 22 (18:27):
Well he's the tailor of mister Deames.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
He must be. Mister Deames Taylor.

Speaker 22 (18:30):
I say, I say, tell me, old boy, how much
do you child to piss?

Speaker 6 (18:34):
A shoot?

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Mister cut it out.

Speaker 22 (18:36):
I didn't quite catch your name.

Speaker 19 (18:38):
I didn't throw it.

Speaker 22 (18:39):
You didn't throw it. Very good, mister Taylor.

Speaker 36 (18:41):
But whoever's Taylor you are, I'm miss McConnell and I'm
fasty praying, footloose.

Speaker 13 (18:46):
Yeah, the rest of you can stand tightening up too.
I please, let's get started with a question. As you know,
mister Taylor, this is a quiz program. We have questions
which we throw at the experts.

Speaker 22 (19:01):
Well, whatever you throw at them, remember please that I'm
sitting between them. I remember that. Here's the question our
studio play on.

Speaker 13 (19:09):
A player will play the course of a very popular
song of other years. You are to tell me the
name of the Indian maiden the song is about him?

Speaker 22 (19:17):
Want him?

Speaker 38 (19:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 22 (19:20):
I haven't heard the song yet.

Speaker 13 (19:21):
Shows how quick I am, boy boy, I get the
answers before I hear the question.

Speaker 22 (19:27):
Honey fast, can we hear the song? Please? What do
you think of it? Mister Taylor?

Speaker 19 (19:37):
You mean a question of the music?

Speaker 22 (19:40):
No, I mean would you know the name of the
Indian girl in the song?

Speaker 19 (19:44):
Well, of course from where I said the answer is obvious.

Speaker 13 (19:47):
I've never heard of an Indian girl named obvious. What
tribe did she belong to?

Speaker 36 (19:52):
Never mind now, missus Howard, I used to play that
on the piano when I was a little girl.

Speaker 13 (19:57):
They didn't have pianas when you were a little girls.
That was beautiful and I really did like the way
you played it.

Speaker 22 (20:05):
How would you say he played it, mister Taylor. Well,
the melodic line was brought into relief by the use
of a tremolo in the right hand and a fermata
a hole, and both of these devices were used in
rather good taste, further to enhance the beauty of the
main theme.

Speaker 39 (20:21):
I see.

Speaker 22 (20:22):
The harmonic structure was indicated by the use of the
arpedo in the bass or left hand, commonly known as
the Alberti bass. Oh yeah, on the whole, making for
a sound musicianly interpretation of the opus.

Speaker 13 (20:36):
Miss McConnell, Thank you, mister Taylor. Miss mcconne, you said
you played that song on the piano.

Speaker 22 (20:42):
You can play that on you play the piano, Miss McConnell, sure,
I played the piano with my feet.

Speaker 19 (20:47):
With your feet, what do you do with your hands?

Speaker 12 (20:50):
Oh?

Speaker 18 (20:50):
My nose? I hate music.

Speaker 22 (20:53):
You know, you know, I could never get any music
out of our piano, so I chopped it.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Up a firewood.

Speaker 12 (20:58):
You can't get music of a by chomping it up
for firewood.

Speaker 22 (21:01):
Now I got a few calls out of it, you
gotta I made a couple of bucks. Never mind, I'll
be going to answer the question. Look, I'll give you
a hint.

Speaker 13 (21:10):
The name of the number that was played was pretty
Red w Now, then what was the name of the
Indian girl that the.

Speaker 22 (21:15):
Song was about?

Speaker 12 (21:16):
I don't want.

Speaker 18 (22:32):
No thank you?

Speaker 22 (23:12):
That was doctor Novik.

Speaker 13 (23:13):
And it makes you want to leave early August, which
is living proof that people are still free to do
as I please in this country. Well, let's get along here.
We have invited two members of the studio audience up
here on the stage. They can ask the explosive question.
If they get an intelligent answer, we give them twenty
pounds of butter if.

Speaker 22 (23:30):
They If they don't, we give them the paper.

Speaker 13 (23:33):
Out of Sheldon's shoe. Who was our first Who was
our first contestant, mister.

Speaker 8 (23:38):
Roberts wellness to our first guest night is Corporal Stanley
Goodman of the United States Field Artillery.

Speaker 13 (23:49):
Ahi, do you do a Corporal Goodman, and welcome to
our program. It's a pleasure to have you here. Where
is your hometown? Would you care to tell us?

Speaker 22 (23:55):
My hometown is Providence, Rhode Island.

Speaker 13 (23:57):
Providence, Rhode Island, very nice, cow Providence, Rhode Island. Well
put a put a bridal gown on me and call
me snowflake. I said, I used to work in that town.
I cut it out, you know, very comicle, Corporal Goodman.
I was in the Lost Warrior.

Speaker 31 (24:19):
I was a spy.

Speaker 18 (24:20):
You're a spy. Didn't they shoot you?

Speaker 1 (24:22):
I don't know.

Speaker 22 (24:23):
I was dinefolded.

Speaker 13 (24:24):
You were applying. Just ignore him, a Corporal Goodman. I
noticed by your ribbons. Now you've seen plenty of action.
Where have you been in the Pacific?

Speaker 19 (24:33):
I've been in the South Pacific Canal.

Speaker 22 (24:35):
You've been in water canals.

Speaker 36 (24:40):
Work, so you were I saw that picture of Guadalcanal.

Speaker 22 (24:46):
Yes, when I never saw him, and.

Speaker 23 (24:48):
I put it up.

Speaker 13 (24:52):
You can help us out here if you will look
corporate when you reach into the dunge cap, then pick
out a question boils please, and would you be good
enough to read the question as soon as you get it,
just read it right into the microphone.

Speaker 22 (25:03):
If you will please, how many notes are there in
the musical scale? That's very good.

Speaker 13 (25:08):
How many notes are there in the musical scale? This
we should get a lot of help on this from
mister Taylor. Mister Taylor, could you tell us the notes
in the musical scale?

Speaker 19 (25:18):
Well, the first note is dough. The second is Ray.

Speaker 22 (25:22):
That's my wife's name, you know, Ray.

Speaker 19 (25:23):
I Well, that should be easy to remember.

Speaker 22 (25:25):
Oh, yes, Ray, she's always asking me for doe.

Speaker 19 (25:30):
The the third note is me.

Speaker 12 (25:33):
The third note is you?

Speaker 19 (25:34):
What's that?

Speaker 12 (25:35):
I said? The third note is you?

Speaker 19 (25:36):
The third note is not you.

Speaker 12 (25:38):
I know it's not as you.

Speaker 11 (25:39):
The third note is me, third note is me.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Isn't that what mister Shelton said?

Speaker 19 (25:43):
No, he said it was you.

Speaker 12 (25:45):
The third note is me. That's right then, what then,
what you're saying was you for?

Speaker 19 (25:49):
I never said it was you.

Speaker 40 (25:50):
I did say you.

Speaker 12 (25:51):
Did you said it was you?

Speaker 22 (25:53):
I said the note was me, mister Taylor, I just
vote you said it was me.

Speaker 19 (25:57):
Well that's right.

Speaker 18 (25:58):
Don't you see it's the both of them.

Speaker 19 (25:59):
It's not both of them.

Speaker 23 (26:00):
Well, and who is it?

Speaker 12 (26:02):
Lessen?

Speaker 13 (26:02):
Your three mallon has guns? You understand what mister Taylor
is saying not.

Speaker 12 (26:05):
Without an interpreter.

Speaker 22 (26:07):
I look, wait a man, the name of the third
note is me.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
How did you get into this.

Speaker 12 (26:14):
Business?

Speaker 19 (26:15):
But mister mister Howard is right.

Speaker 23 (26:17):
Oh, I get it.

Speaker 12 (26:18):
It's mister Howard.

Speaker 19 (26:19):
No, it's not mister Howard.

Speaker 27 (26:20):
It's me.

Speaker 12 (26:21):
Well, someone hit me in the face with a wet
dish rag.

Speaker 22 (26:24):
Nah, that wouldn't improve it any.

Speaker 18 (26:28):
Why don't you cut out the argument? If mister Taylor
says to notice him.

Speaker 12 (26:32):
He ought to know, all right, I don't care how
it is solos.

Speaker 4 (26:35):
It ain't me.

Speaker 19 (26:35):
But that's right, mister Shelton, it's what it's me.

Speaker 22 (26:39):
Oh my good, mister Taylor. How can you be so deceitful?

Speaker 12 (26:42):
You say it was me?

Speaker 22 (26:43):
I know, idea, Gus, you understand the name of the
third note is me.

Speaker 12 (26:47):
Everybody wants to get into the air.

Speaker 22 (26:51):
Gentlemen, gentlemen, The names of the notes are do ray
me fa soula see doe.

Speaker 41 (26:56):
Door on top and door on the bottom.

Speaker 42 (26:58):
Oh, just like a pie, all.

Speaker 22 (27:02):
Right, just just like a fly? What comes in between
bru drawels.

Speaker 18 (27:05):
Don't cut it out?

Speaker 22 (27:07):
He said, do don't get that into you or not?

Speaker 39 (27:09):
Do?

Speaker 12 (27:10):
I've got it?

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Do not?

Speaker 39 (27:11):
Do not?

Speaker 22 (27:20):
I thank you a lot, Papa for being willing.

Speaker 13 (27:27):
Now, can we have a number from that noviac and
his jiving jerks?

Speaker 22 (27:31):
Listen, listen and get sick with that Novac. This is
gonna be good.

Speaker 13 (27:52):
It's beautiful, you though, lovely. I see if I had
my brushes here, I'd paint.

Speaker 12 (28:04):
Don't shund beautiful.

Speaker 43 (28:06):
What if.

Speaker 22 (28:09):
They think, ohy, it sends me? I wish it would leave.

Speaker 24 (28:14):
You there.

Speaker 13 (28:17):
They think it's beautiful, mister Taylor, I've brot it on
my card.

Speaker 12 (28:21):
Please.

Speaker 22 (28:27):
The band is playing Williams Tell ladies and gentlemen, but
time of my get now?

Speaker 12 (28:48):
Are I'm playing Richmond in the freight race?

Speaker 22 (28:53):
There they go? The only lad in the country that
plays without taking the Estimus out of the case. Got

(29:23):
married to don't to that?

Speaker 13 (29:52):
Yeah, thank you doctor Novick for finishing. When the pied
Piker chased the rats out of Hamlin, he really had
not Novic's augstra with him, if you want the back.
But mister Taylor, all kidding aside you being an authority

(30:13):
on music, why do you think of mister Novick's August.

Speaker 19 (30:17):
Do I have to answer that?

Speaker 12 (30:19):
Well?

Speaker 13 (30:20):
Why why, mister Taylor, Mister Newvick's Augustra is an institution.

Speaker 19 (30:23):
That's where it belongs.

Speaker 22 (30:26):
I agree with you thoroughly there, mister Taylor. Well, let's
get on. How about our next contestant, mister Roberts.

Speaker 8 (30:32):
Well, here she is and as bright as a dollar,
mister Hard Yeoman, second class, Shirley Coleman of the United States.

Speaker 13 (30:37):
Way, how do you do, Miss Coleman? This is indeed
a pleasure. We're very glad to have you with us.
I might say you look charming. You really do already.

Speaker 22 (30:51):
Yes, indeed she does look.

Speaker 13 (30:52):
Very charming, mister Hard Okay, you know it's girls.

Speaker 22 (30:54):
Like her that make me like girls like her that
will do. Mister where is your hometown, Miss Coleman? Would
you care to tell us? We just love to know. Cambridge,
massachusets Cambridge Massetute. That's very nice.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
You know.

Speaker 13 (31:12):
What's how Miss Coleman must have been a very beautiful baby.

Speaker 22 (31:15):
I imagine you was here, you know, miss how I
speaking about babies.

Speaker 13 (31:19):
Oh, there's the cutest baby over our boarding house the
other day, and the other day her mother let me
hold herround my lap. Then I put her on the
scales and weigh them.

Speaker 18 (31:28):
How much get you weigh?

Speaker 12 (31:29):
Ninety seven? Pounds. We didn't get home at two o'clock.

Speaker 34 (31:34):
In the morning.

Speaker 39 (31:34):
Cut it up.

Speaker 22 (31:38):
How long how long have you been to service, Miss Coleman?

Speaker 31 (31:41):
Twenty months?

Speaker 13 (31:42):
Twenty months? Will congratulations? I suppose you find your work
very interesting.

Speaker 31 (31:47):
Yes, sir, I do.

Speaker 22 (31:48):
Are you married? Yes, sir, you're married. Well, I was
going to ask you another question, but let's forget it.
You know that the howard I.

Speaker 36 (31:55):
Wish I could join the Whack to the Waves or
something you wish. Yeah, I did, joined the Rotary Club.

Speaker 13 (32:03):
You joined the Rotary Club. Uh huh ms McConnell. The
Rotary Club er all from men and from men. That's
why I Joe, that's why. Well I said before, we're
very glad to have you with us. What did you
do before you went in the service?

Speaker 43 (32:17):
I went to school.

Speaker 22 (32:18):
Oh you went to school, No, sir, in Boston or
in Boston?

Speaker 18 (32:24):
Okay, in Boston.

Speaker 22 (32:26):
Well, I've been to Boston too.

Speaker 12 (32:28):
That is, you're Canden Boston too. You're Canden Boson.

Speaker 22 (32:35):
Please don't get first. You want to know you were
with me.

Speaker 13 (32:41):
That's right, I got you out of the canvas. I'd
like to have you meet mister Taylor, Miss Coleman. This
is mister Deems Taylor, Ms cole.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
How do you do?

Speaker 19 (32:51):
Miss Coleman? Is really a very great pleasure to.

Speaker 18 (32:58):
Remember? You probably make your they asked the program.

Speaker 19 (33:01):
I never promised to wait for you after the program.

Speaker 22 (33:04):
But don't you think it be a good idea? Well
you cut it out. Pay no attention to miss Coleman.
We're gonna feed her any minute now.

Speaker 13 (33:12):
Well you would you do as a favorite wider here,
would you kindly reach into the dunge cap there and
pick out a question for us? And when you get
ahold of the question, would you kindly read it into
the microphone?

Speaker 31 (33:22):
Yes? What kind of wood was in the old oakan bucket?

Speaker 22 (33:24):
That's the very god The question is what kind of
wood was in the old oakan bucket? What kind of wood?
In other words, was the bucket made out of?

Speaker 12 (33:33):
Is that the old oaken bucket that hung in the well?

Speaker 22 (33:35):
That's right, that's the question. Oh, it's a deep one.
That's a deep one.

Speaker 23 (33:40):
Play mister Horan.

Speaker 13 (33:41):
The old oaken bucket was a quart tet shark. Say, look,
he's an idea. Let you and I sing a quart
tet you and I. Yeah, but wait a minute, two
people can't sing a quart tet.

Speaker 11 (33:49):
Well, I did perfectly.

Speaker 22 (33:50):
Willing to help O buy, I don't forget I have
a voice, yeah for a hog calling?

Speaker 18 (33:56):
Oh yeah, well my voice. I did go to the.

Speaker 22 (33:59):
Metrop with your voice. You need inshorts.

Speaker 13 (34:07):
All right, let's agree with mister Sheldon, for once in
our lives, if we'll help to get the answer to
the question, we'll sing the old oaken bucket. Mister Taylor,
you can help us out here. If you will, we
might as well do this thing right, mister Taylor, will
you announce the quartet?

Speaker 19 (34:22):
Certainly, mister Howard.

Speaker 22 (34:24):
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to bring
to you at this time the Metropolitan Quartet, four brilliant
voices who have just finished the most successful engagement of
six months in the Observation Ward, The Metropolitan Quartet of Howard, Shelton,
McNaughton and McConnell. Thank you a chord?

Speaker 12 (34:43):
Please?

Speaker 22 (34:44):
How all together?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Oh?

Speaker 22 (34:49):
Bucket bucket, fuck itt, fuck it, wada. Manager's something wrong here?

Speaker 12 (34:59):
What's the matter?

Speaker 22 (35:00):
Somebody's using an extra bucket?

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Was that?

Speaker 12 (35:05):
Was that you, miss McConnell, Not me.

Speaker 18 (35:07):
I'm using the same bucket as you are. A lot.

Speaker 22 (35:13):
Let me tell you something. Let's get this straight.

Speaker 13 (35:17):
There's only one bucket to the song. You understand that
one bucket, and we all use the same bucket.

Speaker 22 (35:22):
I'll get that frone.

Speaker 12 (35:23):
What's gonna be crouded?

Speaker 22 (35:24):
You know what a mine? Now let's start over again.
Cord please, Oh.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Bucket it the.

Speaker 22 (35:35):
Locket bucket?

Speaker 34 (35:39):
Ooh oo?

Speaker 22 (35:43):
What was that I shot? McMartin, he was sour. Ladies
and Gentlemen Special announcement. Due to an unavoidable accident, the
Metropolitan Quartet will be unable to appear instead, when you're
the Cosmopolitan Trio, oh Oki bucket their bound bucket bucket.

Speaker 44 (36:11):
But oh.

Speaker 12 (36:14):
What was that I shot?

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Sheldon?

Speaker 22 (36:16):
He was not only sour, he was fromenty ladies, Ladies
and Gentlemen Special announcement. Due to a severe case of
blood poisoning of one of the members, the Cosmopolitan Trio
will be unable to appear. Instead, we shall hear from
the Canal Street Duo of Now it's Howard and Kisten McConnell.

Speaker 38 (36:38):
The buck theirn bound buck Blum.

Speaker 22 (36:49):
Sovereign fucket. Well, she was a good old bucket, but
she went to the world. Ladies and Gentlemen Special announcement.
Due to the fact that miss Kirsten McConnell broke her bucket,

(37:10):
we shall now hear from that international favorite, the original
voice of the Turtle, mister Tom Howard, the old dunking
but the bucket, the aron bound bucket, sit out. They

(37:30):
got me, They got me. They got me right in
the middle of the bucket.

Speaker 18 (39:23):
Rank you.

Speaker 22 (39:25):
Thank you, doctor Ravick. That was really fine.

Speaker 13 (39:44):
How before we put the dummies back in the box,
I really do want to thank mister Demes Taylor for
being with us tonight. Denna marvelous job and was very
very nice of him to come up here and pay
us a visit. And I'd like to say to your listeners,
try and be with us again next week when our
special guests will be mister Rolling Young.

Speaker 18 (40:02):
Who's just say, mister Howard, who're just saying?

Speaker 22 (40:04):
I said, Rolling Young, the movie actor.

Speaker 18 (40:06):
How old is he?

Speaker 9 (40:07):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (40:07):
Rolland that's not old, he's young.

Speaker 22 (40:09):
He's young.

Speaker 13 (40:09):
Okay, Okay, Now justin if I saw him in that picture, Claudia.
Oh no, no, mister Shelton know that that was his son,
Robert Young.

Speaker 18 (40:17):
Oh well, he ain't bad either.

Speaker 22 (40:19):
No, no, mister, how don't you know old Ronald Young. Look,
I don't know.

Speaker 18 (40:24):
Well it we don't matter. You don't make any difference anyway. No,
as long as he wears pants.

Speaker 22 (40:29):
I'm god he wear his pants.

Speaker 18 (40:30):
He does wear pants, don't either.

Speaker 13 (40:33):
The last time I saw him on Broadway he had
him on I see depleted. Well, let us hope he'll
have pants on next Friday night, lister MC.

Speaker 42 (40:42):
Yeah, whatever, head, And.

Speaker 41 (42:33):
This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
It came to do.

Speaker 42 (42:38):
Again, to be done, to be done, to be again.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
It pays to be ignorant.

Speaker 22 (42:46):
Just like me.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Each week I earned six dollars.

Speaker 44 (42:54):
My brain is terribly lax.

Speaker 34 (42:57):
But when there ain't no inncount, why then there ain't
no incompacts.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
So you see, it pays to be ignorant, have no
brain being a just be ignorant.

Speaker 7 (43:11):
And there you have in an Armed Forces recording of
it pays to be ignorant. Why you'd want to give
that to the Armed Forces, I don't know. Eighty one
years ago, October sixth, nineteen forty four, Here on Classic
Radio Theater with wyat Cos even crazier up next Stan Freeburg.

Speaker 33 (43:36):
There is a defense against radioactive fallout during enemy attack.
Get to a shelter, immediately stay there until local officials
advise you it's safe to leave. Be prepared.

Speaker 7 (43:46):
Now we go back to October sixth, nineteen fifty seven,
sixty eight years ago for an episode of the Stan
Freiberg Show. And if you are afraid of We're Wolves,
I have something scarier advertise.

Speaker 45 (44:04):
This is the thirteenth show the series How the brand
new radio series Flown Honeywood.

Speaker 14 (44:11):
We present the sand Freeburg Show.

Speaker 42 (44:16):
With the music of Billy Man.

Speaker 29 (44:19):
What's the song to Minny Taylor with nose but but
you bray you're leading the good town of Rhythmer.

Speaker 6 (44:25):
You may not find us on your.

Speaker 46 (44:27):
TV because, in case you did not know for being
brought to what frought to you?

Speaker 19 (44:38):
Are al rady.

Speaker 28 (44:54):
Good evening, good evening, well tonight. We are featuring someone
for everyone, you might say, for the kiddies. We have
a special horror movie plus a panel of experts discussing
where is the circus going?

Speaker 6 (45:13):
Before we meet our circus panel.

Speaker 28 (45:14):
However, your friend and mine, Billy May, will get us
off to a flying start with an unusual rendition of
cocktails for two taken Billy.

Speaker 35 (45:47):
Oh Loty to be given rise to be Carefrey.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
One circuit.

Speaker 35 (46:01):
No longer snaking respect drinking snake no longer?

Speaker 1 (46:26):
What charming?

Speaker 6 (46:40):
Yeah, well, where's the rest of it?

Speaker 1 (46:41):
Billy?

Speaker 6 (46:41):
That that was only the firse, That was only the
first of the songs.

Speaker 14 (46:45):
Well, everybody knows the chorus of this turkey? Come on?

Speaker 28 (46:55):
Will you please play the chorus? Look, I'm not not
the way you played the verse. You understand, but aren't you.

Speaker 6 (47:02):
Really going to play the chorus for us?

Speaker 5 (47:03):
No?

Speaker 6 (47:03):
Man, it's worse than waiting for the other shooting drop.

Speaker 28 (47:09):
Before we have our circus panel, we'd like to get
some questions to ask our experts from some of the
people in the audience.

Speaker 6 (47:14):
And let me just get down here in the audience.
Here is a lady. What is your name? Adam?

Speaker 37 (47:19):
Missus George Heininger, May I ask.

Speaker 31 (47:23):
You a question?

Speaker 6 (47:24):
Certainly, what do I get?

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Get?

Speaker 37 (47:29):
Aren't linkletter gives prizes? So where's my refrigerator?

Speaker 6 (47:36):
We're not giving prizes. We just want you to suggest
some questions.

Speaker 37 (47:39):
We're answering that I don't get nothing.

Speaker 6 (47:42):
Well, plastic ball I could get all right now.

Speaker 37 (47:46):
Look to give you that with ten gallons of gas
and Mark C Blue Greenstown.

Speaker 28 (47:55):
Oh right, just a minute, here, here's your plastic bowls
for nothing?

Speaker 6 (48:09):
Yes, Now, what do you think can improve the circus?

Speaker 37 (48:15):
We're a lot like the circus, just the way it is.

Speaker 28 (48:23):
And thank you for your stimulating questions. Now here's a
man over here. I'll say, do you mind if I
ask you a question?

Speaker 27 (48:29):
No, I guess that'd be all right.

Speaker 6 (48:32):
You're Steve Allen, aren't you?

Speaker 16 (48:39):
No?

Speaker 6 (48:39):
No, Stan Freeburg.

Speaker 27 (48:41):
Oh yeah, I've heard of you.

Speaker 6 (48:43):
I don't know where, but I've heard of you.

Speaker 28 (48:47):
Now we'd like to get a question from you about
how to improve circus attendance.

Speaker 27 (48:51):
Well, Steve, when I was a kid, I ate too
much popcorn. You know, I got sick.

Speaker 6 (48:58):
I haven't been back since. And what is your suggestion?

Speaker 27 (49:01):
Give toms with the popcorn.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
Dandy suggestion. And thank you very much, sir.

Speaker 27 (49:07):
You welcome Steve.

Speaker 28 (49:10):
With profound questions like those, I'm certain confidentially we'd have
a hung jury panel. We'll just forego the discussion group
for tonight maybe some other time.

Speaker 23 (49:24):
Stan.

Speaker 47 (49:24):
Well, Peggy Taylor, Stan, a little while ago, you call
the Brooklyn Dodgers bums.

Speaker 48 (49:35):
Are they really bums?

Speaker 9 (49:37):
No?

Speaker 28 (49:37):
No, look, not really bums, Peggy. Yeah, that's just what
they call him. A real bumb is someone who travels
around all the time and has no place to go. Well, yeah,
when I'm thinking of an answer for that, why don't
you sing?

Speaker 12 (49:53):
You know I'd like that.

Speaker 28 (49:54):
Good ladies and gentlemen, Here now is our own Peggy
Tailor singing one of the greatest bouts to come out
of the thirties.

Speaker 6 (49:59):
And the angels sing, sing, Angel.

Speaker 48 (50:09):
We me, and the Angel sing, the Angel sing the
sweetest song I ever heard you speak? And the Angel

(50:35):
sing or am I breathing music into every word?

Speaker 22 (50:49):
Suddenly the sunning is strange.

Speaker 14 (50:54):
I can see water and like beaming.

Speaker 48 (51:00):
Over waves that break on some undiscovered shore. Suddenly I
see it all change along with the nights, with the
candles gleaming through it all your face that I adore small,

(51:29):
And the Angel'll say, and though it's just a gentle
murmur at the start weed case, and the Angel'll see.

Speaker 42 (51:52):
And the music.

Speaker 6 (52:16):
Thank you very much, Peggy Well.

Speaker 28 (52:18):
In recent months, a brave new type of motion picture
has been sweeping the country's screens, a hybrid of the
horror picture and the epic of adolescents. Such memorable titles
as I was a teenage Weirwolf have proved the real
shot in the exhibitor's arm. However, just as Newsweek announced
the Shock around the Clock was catching on Daily Variety

(52:42):
reports the movie theaters again have a pain in the
box office. May we suggest as a remedy, a new
kind of story, a sort of cinema composite.

Speaker 14 (52:59):
Funny A century.

Speaker 49 (52:59):
Frepride presents gray flannel hats full of teenage werewolves.

Speaker 45 (53:18):
Yes, I look like a normal werewolf, happy, respectable, pointy toothed,
accepted by the werewolf community.

Speaker 50 (53:30):
But little do they know of that nameless terror with
which I live, that unspeakable thing that turns me when
the sun is full, into an advertising man.

Speaker 14 (53:53):
How did it start?

Speaker 1 (53:55):
I do not know.

Speaker 28 (53:57):
I only remember that one night I returned to my
home under a certain bridge in Westchester County, New York.
I had spent a normal night were wolfing around Scarsdale.
He was just getting in when my father woke up.

Speaker 17 (54:20):
Hey that you lobo?

Speaker 38 (54:27):
Yes, Pop, what do you mean getting at this shower?
Journally four thirty am a good decent wo wolf. We're
supposed to be out to the least five thirty, oh, Pop.
When I was at your age, I was out to
set up every morning, no matter, did you do some

(54:47):
good werewolf?

Speaker 23 (54:48):
And tonight?

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 28 (54:50):
But well, I get tired of running around showing my
fangs and biting people.

Speaker 14 (54:57):
Excuse me a courk you pop.

Speaker 6 (54:58):
Let me get in by four forty.

Speaker 27 (55:01):
Listen, don't you never want to mountain?

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Nothing?

Speaker 38 (55:05):
This in America where any kid can grow up to
be rack your lit. Yeah, but I don't want to
be a were wolf for a living shan, make you done.

Speaker 14 (55:18):
I don't want to be a were.

Speaker 51 (55:19):
Wolfhea, you broken the werewolf those It's lucky your mother
went away. Dear you say that, break your heart. Now
go to sleep before I give you the back of
my clog. In Karloff knows what will happen to you now.

Speaker 52 (55:43):
But I didn't go to sleep. I lay there thinking
how long I do not know. Suddenly, as the sun
began to come up, I felt as though a strange
transfiguration were taking place. My fangs became short and blunt,

(56:03):
my head became crew cut. The hair on my body
slowly turned into gray flannel. My head filled with senseless metaphor,
and suddenly I knew that.

Speaker 22 (56:17):
I was turning into and that for pisant bad.

Speaker 28 (56:39):
Let's throw it all up into one big ball of wax. Gentlemen,
Miss Hotchkiss, give me the presentation on the Amerzon account.

Speaker 37 (56:49):
Wake up, wake up.

Speaker 12 (56:51):
Paul Low bows his head.

Speaker 37 (56:54):
We're saying weird things in the sleep, like what weird?

Speaker 22 (56:59):
So like you said, missus hot need must account.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
He's sick.

Speaker 12 (57:06):
He must have been a vegetarian.

Speaker 37 (57:10):
Looking him there, he's got a man suit on.

Speaker 12 (57:12):
Follow up, he's running toward the tracks.

Speaker 18 (57:16):
Where is he going?

Speaker 38 (57:19):
Don't worry none more. He's probably just gone back out
to bite a couple of commuters.

Speaker 53 (57:28):
You one fight.

Speaker 52 (57:33):
As I ran out from under the bridge, I saw
a train approaching, falling from New York.

Speaker 6 (57:37):
As it came abreast with.

Speaker 14 (57:38):
Me, I leapt on too.

Speaker 6 (57:40):
It really open door. Come on, Johnson, let's walk on
back to the club car and get some comfort.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Oh check what?

Speaker 14 (57:54):
Oh look, there's the guy sort of crouching in the destribule.

Speaker 27 (57:57):
Yeah, what are you doing down on all fours?

Speaker 22 (58:04):
Or why?

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Uh?

Speaker 28 (58:09):
Let's roll it all up into one big ball, watch, gentleman.

Speaker 6 (58:12):
Haw's that?

Speaker 1 (58:12):
Hey? Look here?

Speaker 14 (58:13):
Johnson's my name? Are you from scholars Dale? I don't
believe I saw you at the station.

Speaker 27 (58:17):
Why Bogarty is my name? Mind?

Speaker 28 (58:20):
If I ask what business you're in, Miss Hots, bring
me the Amerson account.

Speaker 27 (58:25):
Ah work for an advertising agency. Huh, that's a small world,
so do we.

Speaker 14 (58:31):
Let's send up the flag and see if anybody shall loot.

Speaker 40 (58:35):
He must work for our agency, funny though never seen
him around the office.

Speaker 54 (58:40):
Yeah, hey, fouls, are we gonna stand in this vestibule
all day?

Speaker 27 (58:46):
Let's get some coffee, gentlemen.

Speaker 52 (58:55):
I went on in with Johnson and Fogerty to their
agency on Madison Avenue, a place called Baton, Barton, Rubicum
and Thompson. Naturally, I started out as a copywriter and
worked my wave up. I learned new things to say,
like I'm just thinking off the top of my head. Boys,

(59:17):
let's mother hand the idea and I like it.

Speaker 28 (59:20):
But with my gray flannel suit, I worked my way
up the ladder until I was vice president. I had
taken the name of Bryce Acker, and no one suspected me.

Speaker 52 (59:33):
I continued being werewolf by night and man by day
because when the sun came up, I could not control
this gray flattel thing that came over me.

Speaker 14 (59:46):
And then, of course there was the business of miss Wilway.

Speaker 28 (59:52):
Would you come in a moment, Miss Wilway and bring
me the food folder. Yes now, Fogerdy, I hope you
don't feel alrightly because I've been made vice president.

Speaker 14 (01:00:01):
You haven't.

Speaker 54 (01:00:02):
Oh no, no, no, that's the way the cookie crumbles,
Price Sack, My day is coming.

Speaker 14 (01:00:11):
What do you mean by that forty nothing?

Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
Here's the presentation on the food account, mister Bryacker.

Speaker 28 (01:00:20):
Food account. It's thinking miss will weigh by the bye,
Miss will weigh you. I was about lunch with me.

Speaker 9 (01:00:27):
Today, mister I love it?

Speaker 22 (01:00:31):
Would you rather make it for dinner?

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Well?

Speaker 14 (01:00:34):
Yeah, no, that is yeah? Why not for dinner?

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
Where do you go at night?

Speaker 27 (01:00:41):
Anyhow?

Speaker 54 (01:00:42):
None of us ever see you after you get off
at the bridge outside Sky's dead?

Speaker 17 (01:00:49):
What are you want playing?

Speaker 6 (01:00:50):
You think it's unusual that I got off with the bridge?

Speaker 54 (01:00:53):
No, I think it's unusual only because the train doesn't
even slow down at the bridge.

Speaker 52 (01:01:01):
Yes, well, shall we say lunch then, Miss wil Winnie,
I love it?

Speaker 27 (01:01:05):
And you watch out for him, Lucretia. Here he's a
regular wolf.

Speaker 6 (01:01:10):
What do you mean by that look that there's no
need to snap at me?

Speaker 14 (01:01:14):
Priceacker?

Speaker 44 (01:01:16):
Lip?

Speaker 43 (01:01:16):
His eyes blazed.

Speaker 23 (01:01:17):
Oh, mister Bryceacker, you're so cute when you're there.

Speaker 27 (01:01:22):
Yeah, well, don't just stand there wipe off his chin.

Speaker 14 (01:01:28):
All right, come on forward.

Speaker 28 (01:01:29):
They're waiting for us, and there in the meeting, I'll
expect you.

Speaker 6 (01:01:31):
To back me up.

Speaker 27 (01:01:32):
Sure, right against the wall.

Speaker 14 (01:01:36):
Gentlemen, Morning, JB, morning g G h L P q
BB the old.

Speaker 40 (01:01:43):
Let's see your suggestions on the food account price Hacker.

Speaker 28 (01:01:47):
Yes, well, I mother hen designed here for some time,
and I think it's about ready to hatch.

Speaker 55 (01:01:52):
Well, let's run up the flag and see if anybody salutes.

Speaker 28 (01:01:55):
Huh, you will give me a chance forwardy, I'll get
on with my present patient. Yeah, here are the new
food radio commercials. Gentlemen, haf a hot off the press,
put it on the machine. There, Fogerty, you.

Speaker 49 (01:02:13):
Scratched Michael Mertal, Easy there, Brice Sacker. There's no need
to bite Fogey's head off. I'd like that, yes, but
we're all playing on the same side of the net.
If we just rally together, perhaps we can ace one over.

Speaker 6 (01:02:32):
Bryce Sackers.

Speaker 27 (01:02:32):
That's a little distraught, eh.

Speaker 6 (01:02:34):
I happen to know that he's been working nights on
this night.

Speaker 40 (01:02:38):
Well, now come on, come on, now play the record,
Fogudy and we'll see how the ball bounces.

Speaker 14 (01:02:43):
Anytime is the time for food?

Speaker 43 (01:02:48):
Food food food food foo foo.

Speaker 14 (01:02:52):
Just put it in your mouth, chew it up with
your teeth and swallow it. You can bet your bottom
dollar you'll say.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
Food is good.

Speaker 14 (01:03:04):
Here's a man right here. Pardon me, sir. I understand
you've eaten food?

Speaker 6 (01:03:08):
Yeah, I have.

Speaker 14 (01:03:10):
Would you even describe the sensation for us?

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 51 (01:03:13):
Well, before I ate him, my stomach was growling something
fierce and.

Speaker 14 (01:03:18):
Had I had a kind of pain in it? And uh,
what would you call the pain?

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
Well, sort of hunger?

Speaker 28 (01:03:27):
Yes, hunger a copyrighted name for food incorporated.

Speaker 14 (01:03:32):
And what happened to the pain after you ate some food?

Speaker 15 (01:03:36):
It went away?

Speaker 34 (01:03:40):
Yes, leading specialist degree that food is the number one
cure for hunger.

Speaker 38 (01:03:48):
Can you tell me dum dun dun dunny dun dun
dun dunny dunda.

Speaker 53 (01:03:54):
If you haven't anything down the name, you can gambu
with you.

Speaker 14 (01:03:58):
Gummy dum dum?

Speaker 53 (01:04:17):
Is that it?

Speaker 14 (01:04:17):
Brycecker?

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Yes, it is.

Speaker 14 (01:04:19):
G h What do you think of it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Well?

Speaker 14 (01:04:21):
I like it, but it doesn't have enough. It hasn't
got enough.

Speaker 27 (01:04:25):
Uh, I couldn't agree with him?

Speaker 14 (01:04:28):
Gh No, I like it.

Speaker 22 (01:04:31):
I like it very much.

Speaker 27 (01:04:32):
Brian Sucker has.

Speaker 14 (01:04:33):
Done a wonderful job here.

Speaker 54 (01:04:34):
When I move that we give it the deep sex
and move on to something that really needs brainstorming, something
important that needs a lot of skulling.

Speaker 14 (01:04:42):
But what about my commercial?

Speaker 40 (01:04:43):
Now, don't interrupt Fogudy when he's got something in the hopper.
Bend the tree a little more focuty, and maybe some
of the branches will fall into place.

Speaker 6 (01:04:55):
All right, Okay?

Speaker 54 (01:04:58):
I I bluesky this quite a bit, and I moved
that we find a summer replacement.

Speaker 14 (01:05:04):
For ren ten ten agreed, agreed.

Speaker 52 (01:05:14):
After Fogerty pulled that one, I could scarcely control myself.
I could see them all staring at the white froth
about my mouth. To ward off any suspicion, I whipped
out a razor and shaved. As time went on, Miss

(01:05:35):
Wilway and I fell hopelessly in love, But I dared
not reveal my true identity.

Speaker 14 (01:05:42):
She might feel picky about being engaged to a weir wolf.

Speaker 52 (01:05:47):
How was I don't know if I could trust myself
whether at night under a harvest moon would I hold
her hand or eat it?

Speaker 14 (01:06:04):
Then again, how would I take her home to father?

Speaker 56 (01:06:10):
I knew she was safe with Mother, whose bite hasn't
been too effective ever since that night in the fog
at Chappaquah when she mistakenly bit a bronze statue of
Horace Greeley and lost all her teeth.

Speaker 14 (01:06:26):
But fates had a trick up her sleeve. One day
at the.

Speaker 23 (01:06:31):
You rang for me, mister Broacker.

Speaker 52 (01:06:35):
Lucretia, my darling, we're lone at last, Oh, Lucretia, How
long must be go.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
On like this?

Speaker 37 (01:06:44):
I could go on loving you forever all But when
am I going to meet your parents?

Speaker 31 (01:06:50):
I wish they'd have me for dinner.

Speaker 57 (01:06:52):
Sometimes you don't know what you're saying, Lucretia. Hello, what
it's getting dark and the sun is going down?

Speaker 14 (01:07:14):
Well quickly?

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
What time is it?

Speaker 37 (01:07:15):
It's high noon?

Speaker 28 (01:07:16):
High noon, great Scott, it must be an eclipse. I've
got to get out of here.

Speaker 37 (01:07:21):
Stick around, Ralph, it's so dark, eyed.

Speaker 14 (01:07:28):
Loo, Gracia.

Speaker 37 (01:07:30):
Now the truth is out, you see me as I
really am. Oh we're wolf, Ralph. What a pleasant surprise, Gracia.
You mean, yes, Ralph, when the sun goes down, I

(01:07:51):
too weird.

Speaker 28 (01:07:54):
I noticed your nylons were getting a little furry there.

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
When I hold your sweet hairy and tighten mine.

Speaker 14 (01:08:18):
Clammy, but it's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
I long for a darling damn face such as fine
as clammy, clammy, clammy as mine.

Speaker 27 (01:08:46):
Hey, Ryslager, how about to see clips?

Speaker 17 (01:08:48):
How about it? Fordy Hey, that's.

Speaker 54 (01:08:52):
The kind of animal we need to replacement, Tim, Tim,
Just like those you know, wolf suit you guys got on, Lucretia.

Speaker 14 (01:09:03):
What a riot you.

Speaker 27 (01:09:03):
Guys are in those costumes.

Speaker 53 (01:09:05):
Ha ha.

Speaker 58 (01:09:18):
Cut it out, Price Sager. That's a little too realistic,
you too, Lucretia. I'm in Fun's fun, but keep back.
Let's send up the flag in the one bottle of watch.
Let's mother hand the blue.

Speaker 17 (01:09:31):
Sky off the top of my head.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
The top of your head is right over.

Speaker 17 (01:09:37):
There, isn't it wonderful?

Speaker 53 (01:09:48):
Hell?

Speaker 28 (01:09:49):
Love always triumph in the end, Lucretia, I've got you and.

Speaker 37 (01:09:55):
I've got you, and we've both got over day.

Speaker 44 (01:10:10):
M m.

Speaker 28 (01:10:39):
Well, so much for our bedtime story. Oh by the way,
those of you who several weeks ago send us those
many card and letter.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
Say, uh.

Speaker 28 (01:10:57):
You say nothing of countless phone call congratulating us on
our takeoff. And a certain well known accordion playing band leader.
I may be interested to know that it is now
a Capitol record which came out this week under the
title Wanna Fall, I Fall. I hope you'll find it

(01:11:19):
in your pocket book to buy it, if only to
skim at across Lake Michigan. Well it comes now comes
now a rather unhappy announcement. Two weeks from the night
you will hear the final broadcast of the Stan Freebroke Show.
While we are all rather saddened by this turn of events,
we've had a lot of fun this past season and
we want to do for you on our final show

(01:11:40):
the things you have enjoyed the most. So we'll be
looking forward to receiving your letters as soon as possible
telling us what you would like to hear us do.
Two weeks from tonight until next week. This is Stan
Freebrooke saying thanks for listening, God bless you, and good night.

Speaker 29 (01:12:06):
San Creeper Show is produced in Honeywood. What Keith Barnem
was written by Span Craper and Pete Barner, featuring the
music of Philly May, Judd Conlins with the Mares and
the songs of Micky Taylor with Darth Butler, Peter Leeds
and two.

Speaker 1 (01:12:17):
Brand What.

Speaker 7 (01:12:33):
Sixty eight years ago October sixth, nineteen fifty seven, The
Stan Freyburg Show on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt cogs,
We'll go back a little further, go back to nineteen
forty six, and let Jack Benny meet Dennis Day's mother.

Speaker 30 (01:12:49):
Heaven forbid, government officials suggest that every family store a
two week emergency food and water supply in case of attack.
Choose canned or dried foods that can be eaten without cooking.

Speaker 7 (01:13:05):
Now on Classic Radio Theater with Wyat talks an episode
of The Jack Benny Show seventy nine years ago, October sixth,
nineteen forty six.

Speaker 34 (01:13:16):
The Jack Benny Program presented by Lucky Strike.

Speaker 22 (01:13:18):
Quality of product is essential to continuing success.

Speaker 19 (01:13:21):
Atte not a sexsix on anything.

Speaker 8 (01:13:26):
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so
fully packed, so free and easy on the draw.

Speaker 22 (01:13:35):
Ls mft ls mft ls mft.

Speaker 8 (01:13:39):
Right you are, yes, sir, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco,
and fine tobacco means real, deep down smoking enjoyment for you. Yes,
it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette, and
year after year, at market after market, the makers of
Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light
that naturally mild tobacco.

Speaker 22 (01:13:58):
Fine light, naturally mild tobacco. Yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco,
and fine tobacco means real, deep down smoking enjoyment for you.
So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky Strike, so round,
so firm, so fully backed, so free and easy on
the draw.

Speaker 11 (01:14:15):
Early fifty Any MANU my moon?

Speaker 19 (01:14:17):
No, not any menu, no my mod No, no my moon.

Speaker 8 (01:14:20):
American The Lucky Strike Program starring Jack Belly, with Mary Livingston,
Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and Yours Pruly, Don Wilson,

(01:14:46):
Ladies and gentlemen. Last Sunday, Jack Benny started his fifteenth
year in radio. All week long, he's been receiving letters
and telegrams of congratulation, and his friends in Hollywood have
been constantly calling him. So now let's go out to
Jack's home in Beverly Hills, where we find him working
on the phone.

Speaker 22 (01:15:02):
Well, I, well, oh, it wasn't that good. Why oh, Ingrid,
You're so kind and coming from you, it's a it's
a great compliment, you know Ingrid. Praise is the lifeblood
of an actor. So times for the transfusion. Well, thanks

(01:15:33):
so much for calling. It was so sweet of you.
By the way, Ingrid, I hope I'm not being too presumptuous.
But may I may I take you to lunch Thursday?

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
I may.

Speaker 22 (01:15:44):
Oh no, no, Ingrid, I won't forget Goodbye a Rochester. Yes,
mark this down lunch Thursday with Ingrid Krausemeyer after one o'clock.

Speaker 12 (01:16:03):
Is that Pross my boss?

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 22 (01:16:05):
She works at Republic. He's in charge of the saddles. Well,
I certainly feel happy getting all these telephones. Oh there
it goes again. Oh well, that's the price of fame. Hello, Yes,
this is mister Benny. Well, well, thank you, thank you

(01:16:28):
very much. Goodbye another one of my fans. You know, Rochester.
I appreciate people calling me up and telling me how
good I was, but it can get a little annoying.

Speaker 44 (01:16:38):
You didn't have that trouble with the horn blows at midnight.

Speaker 22 (01:16:44):
You can kid all you want to, Rochester, but that
picture will go down in history. Sure will.

Speaker 1 (01:16:48):
That's the first thing. Will Meko ever.

Speaker 12 (01:16:49):
Walked out on?

Speaker 22 (01:16:51):
Will Romco walk out on that picture? Because he doesn't
understand English.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
His interpreter was leading him all right, all right, and
Marla tap was right behind him.

Speaker 22 (01:17:04):
That's enough. I'm going into the library. Oh donas. Sometimes
I wonder if it's worth all the Hello. Yes, this
is mister Benny. Why I mailed that yesterday? Oh yeah,
well you can't disconnect it while I'm talking on us.

(01:17:26):
What you're up on the pole. Now, we'll put away
those snippers and get down from there. I told you
I mailed it. How do you like that? Rochester? Do
you know there was a man up on the telephone pole?

Speaker 14 (01:17:38):
You mean Sam?

Speaker 48 (01:17:39):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:17:39):
You know him? He goes up that person?

Speaker 44 (01:17:42):
Every one.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
The Rochester?

Speaker 22 (01:17:47):
What time is it? The World series will be on
pretty soon. I want to hear it. I'll listen to
it in the Oh, there goes that phone again, you answered, Rochester.
Tell him I'm not at home.

Speaker 44 (01:17:57):
Yes, sir, Hello, No, I'm sorry, but mister Benny's not home.

Speaker 12 (01:18:04):
Oh thank you.

Speaker 22 (01:18:06):
I'll tell you a call to other Rochester.

Speaker 1 (01:18:08):
It was ingland bergman this time?

Speaker 22 (01:18:10):
Why give me that call? Hello? Hello, Hello, knock you
and get down off that pole. Hello, Hello, Rochester. Why
didn't you call me? You told me to say you out,
just wait till you get a call.

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
But Bosh, you told me to say it.

Speaker 22 (01:18:26):
Never mind what I told you? You should know if
I'll talk to Krautsmier, I'll talk to Bergen. I'm going
into the other room and listen to the World Series. Okay,
and Rochester. Early this morning I put in a long
distance call in New York, so plug the phone in
the library. Yes, gee, I wonder if Saint Louis will
win the Well, I'll know pretty soon, I answered, Rochester.

(01:18:49):
Take back your rumba, I your somba, I your kanga
aye yay y Hello Jack, Well, hello, Mary, come on in.
You're just in time. I'm going to listen to the
World Series.

Speaker 32 (01:19:00):
The World Series. Who was playing.

Speaker 22 (01:19:02):
Boston against Ingrid Bergmann? I mean Boston?

Speaker 39 (01:19:05):
Come on on the library, Say Jack, did you read
the wonderful things the critics said about your opening program?

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
Well?

Speaker 22 (01:19:11):
No, Mary, after all, I've been on the air for
fifteen years, and I feel that when I have a
shoulder do, I just go out and do the best
I can, and I don't concern myself of.

Speaker 39 (01:19:19):
What the critics say and why they got the reviews
pasted on your glasses.

Speaker 22 (01:19:25):
Those are the lineups for today's game. I want to
have them handy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
Well.

Speaker 22 (01:19:30):
The game ought to be on pretty such well.

Speaker 39 (01:19:31):
Jack before I forget it, I got a letter from
Mamma yesterday.

Speaker 22 (01:19:34):
Your mother, Well, what did the truculent turtle of Plainfield
have to track?

Speaker 32 (01:19:41):
She managed your first broadcast and she liked it very much.

Speaker 22 (01:19:44):
She did, your mother, that sweet little gray haired old
lady who fractured your father's skull.

Speaker 53 (01:19:50):
Like my father.

Speaker 39 (01:19:54):
Yeah, and she even took the bandages off so Papa
could hear it.

Speaker 22 (01:19:57):
Well, well that was nice, and Jack, what is it?

Speaker 5 (01:20:02):
Oh?

Speaker 32 (01:20:03):
Mama was so cute.

Speaker 10 (01:20:04):
She said.

Speaker 32 (01:20:05):
She was preparing dinner when she listened to the radio
while your program is on, she peeled four pounds of onions.

Speaker 22 (01:20:10):
Oh fine, listening to me and peeling onions.

Speaker 15 (01:20:12):
Mama said.

Speaker 32 (01:20:13):
She was laughing on the inside and crying on the outside.

Speaker 1 (01:20:18):
Hey, that's pretty good.

Speaker 22 (01:20:19):
But you know, Mary, if your mother thought last week's
show was something, waitless, here's the one we got for
this week.

Speaker 39 (01:20:23):
But Jack, how do you get your scripts? If your
writers are still stranded on the gambling ship.

Speaker 22 (01:20:27):
I sit on the beach and they wig wagons. The
scripts are over there on the table. Mary, you better
take a look at them. Okay, just brush the sand off,
let's see. I wonder what station the world series will
be on. It should be a row.

Speaker 39 (01:20:42):
Oh, for heaven's sake, Jack, I'm not going to do
this gag here where, right here on page three.

Speaker 32 (01:20:48):
It's too corny.

Speaker 22 (01:20:49):
Mary. That's a topical joke, and we have to do
that kind of stuff.

Speaker 32 (01:20:52):
I don't care if it is topic.

Speaker 39 (01:20:53):
I'm not going to say that you have to go
out with a girl in Brooklyn because you can't Dodger.

Speaker 22 (01:21:00):
Dodger. Don't you get it married, that's the Brooklyn Dodger.
That's a baseball joke.

Speaker 32 (01:21:03):
Well, I'm not gonna do it.

Speaker 22 (01:21:05):
All right, all right, if you don't want the gag,
I'll give it to Dennis. He'll be very happy with it.

Speaker 32 (01:21:09):
If it's happy. If he looks at a Marin, he's there.

Speaker 22 (01:21:12):
Look, Mary, I don't want to discuss it now. The
game will be on pretty soon. I want to listen
to it.

Speaker 39 (01:21:16):
Okay, Hey, wait a minute, Jack, what's that black crape
on your radio?

Speaker 44 (01:21:20):
For?

Speaker 22 (01:21:21):
Fred Allen comes back on the air today. She does,
what time we light the candles? At five point thirty? Well,
we still got a few minutes before the game. Let's
get some music anyway, Well, now try and get the

(01:23:08):
ball game. Wonder we're gonna pitch for Saint Louis. Look
on your glasses and see, oh yeah, well they have
Poullette's schedule. But then you'll never content. Oh there goes
the phone again.

Speaker 30 (01:23:18):
Mary.

Speaker 22 (01:23:18):
It's been like this all week long. Congratulations compliment. I've
never seen anything like it. Hello, Yes, it's mister Betty. Well,
thank you, thank you very very much. Goodbye.

Speaker 44 (01:23:33):
Who is it?

Speaker 22 (01:23:34):
There'll be a two hour delay on my call to
New York. Well, don't let it.

Speaker 32 (01:23:43):
Go to your head. They say that to everybody.

Speaker 22 (01:23:46):
Yeah, but the way she said it, I knew she
liked my program or Rochester. Right, do me a paper,
will you please?

Speaker 44 (01:23:51):
Yes?

Speaker 22 (01:23:52):
Pick up these scripts and put them on my briefcase.
I don't want to forget them when I go to
the studio.

Speaker 34 (01:23:56):
Yes, or I'll put them right next to your Christmas
card tables.

Speaker 22 (01:23:59):
Good yead.

Speaker 18 (01:24:03):
Say Jack.

Speaker 32 (01:24:04):
And when I was looking through the script before, I
didn't see a commercial.

Speaker 22 (01:24:07):
I know, Mary, and I don't know what to do
about it. Don Wilson got me to hire that lousy
quartet and put them under contract for eight weeks at
five hundred dollars a week, for five hundred dollars all
they did was hmm. Imagine four big jerks going and
one bigger jerk paying.

Speaker 32 (01:24:28):
Why did you break their contract?

Speaker 22 (01:24:29):
I don't know how.

Speaker 32 (01:24:30):
Well, how did Warner brothers do.

Speaker 9 (01:24:32):
It to you?

Speaker 22 (01:24:37):
They didn't break my contract. They just burned down my
dressing room. I'll never forget the look on Jack Warner's
face when he found out I wasn't in it at
the time. And when do you think they know there's
a phone again? Hello? Yeah, Well, thank you very much.

(01:25:01):
And you also like me on Dennis Day's program. Well
that's awfully sweet. Goodbye. Who is that Dennis? He's coming
over here pretty soon. Well, it's almost time for the
World Series. I might as well try.

Speaker 32 (01:25:16):
And hey Jack, look out the window. Here comes Don
Wilson with that quartet.

Speaker 22 (01:25:19):
Oh yes, I wonder what they want?

Speaker 43 (01:25:22):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
Come in?

Speaker 34 (01:25:24):
Hello Jack, Hello Mary, say Jack, Look who I brought
with me?

Speaker 22 (01:25:29):
I know, I know, Hello fellas, That's what I mean.

Speaker 25 (01:25:39):
Don.

Speaker 22 (01:25:39):
I'm glad you brought the quartet over. I want to
talk to you about him.

Speaker 34 (01:25:43):
What's wrong?

Speaker 22 (01:25:43):
What's wrong? I'm not going to keep paying five hundred
dollars a week Jesse to hear him go during a commercial?

Speaker 34 (01:25:49):
Well, Jack at the end of our show last week,
when you kicked me in the stomach, I suspected you
weren't quite satisfied.

Speaker 22 (01:25:56):
You bet I wasn't satisfied. I'm not going to pay
five hundred dollars for a quartet for on one note
and enough Jack, Jack, calm down, Tomtown.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
I've got it all fixed up.

Speaker 27 (01:26:04):
Now.

Speaker 22 (01:26:04):
That's why I brought the boys over.

Speaker 26 (01:26:06):
Now here's the way.

Speaker 22 (01:26:06):
We're going to do our commercial today. Look down, I
don't want these listen to this, Jack, listen to it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:11):
I'm sure you'll like it.

Speaker 39 (01:26:12):
Jack, give me the check, all right, all right, Now
here's the way we'll do it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:15):
Gets head, boys, Here we go. L S m f
T l S m f T.

Speaker 8 (01:26:21):
Lucky strike means fine the back all yes, lucky strike
means fine the back of l.

Speaker 1 (01:26:27):
S L s n T l LS.

Speaker 43 (01:26:34):
Go round down.

Speaker 53 (01:26:35):
We're not what I'm all got?

Speaker 1 (01:26:37):
Three uneasy on that draw.

Speaker 22 (01:26:39):
Ls and that.

Speaker 12 (01:26:46):
Lucky strike, that's like that's master a mile.

Speaker 8 (01:26:50):
The baco don so for real, deep down down and
timing it.

Speaker 53 (01:26:55):
And let's ls and that.

Speaker 49 (01:26:58):
Les ls and.

Speaker 53 (01:27:04):
Wait on, let's let wait on way.

Speaker 22 (01:27:25):
Right HEAVENM say, I mean, what kind of a commercial
do you call that? What's the matter with you? Guys?

Speaker 1 (01:27:49):
Look?

Speaker 22 (01:27:50):
Don listen to me?

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
Will you please?

Speaker 22 (01:27:52):
Will you please listen to me?

Speaker 1 (01:27:54):
Just once?

Speaker 22 (01:27:55):
Look down? Can't you understand that isn't what I want?
That's corny five hundred dollars. Well, I can get a
better singers out of Ellis Hyland. What Ellis.

Speaker 1 (01:28:15):
And Mary?

Speaker 22 (01:28:15):
You didn't have to trick me into that. Now listen
to me, Wilson. This is all your idea, not mine.
And if you think for one minute that I'm going
to Hello, Yes, thank you, thanks very much. It's so
nice to you to tell me goodbye. Now, Wilson, if

(01:28:38):
you think for one minute that I'm good, it's only
an hour delay, now gone. If you'll think for one minute,
then I'm going to be stuck with this quartet. You're
crazy and I'll show you. I mean when I say
I know how to break their contract, put down those matches.

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
I can't help it.

Speaker 22 (01:28:54):
I'm mad, Oh boss.

Speaker 59 (01:28:55):
If you want to hear the world serious, it'll.

Speaker 44 (01:28:57):
Be on pretty soon.

Speaker 22 (01:28:58):
Okay, thanks Rochester World, certain Jack, do you mind if
we stay and listen? I guess not. Don Let's see.
I think the game comes over station. Hello.

Speaker 32 (01:29:10):
That's the door buzzer.

Speaker 22 (01:29:15):
Amen, Oh hello Dennis, Hello everybody Jack.

Speaker 32 (01:29:20):
Dennis brought his father with him.

Speaker 22 (01:29:23):
Imagine him coming here in his old greasy overall. How
do you do, mister Day?

Speaker 11 (01:29:28):
That's my mother. She just came from work.

Speaker 22 (01:29:33):
How do you do, mister Day?

Speaker 12 (01:29:35):
How do you do? Now?

Speaker 11 (01:29:38):
Remember mother, you promised you wouldn't hit him.

Speaker 22 (01:29:42):
Hit me here.

Speaker 11 (01:29:43):
There's something about you that brings out the.

Speaker 27 (01:29:44):
Beast in her.

Speaker 22 (01:29:46):
Now, missus Dave, I don't know what you have in mind,
but I'd like to talk to you some other time.
Right now, I want to listen to me all right,
and put down that ranch?

Speaker 44 (01:29:56):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:29:57):
What is this?

Speaker 12 (01:29:57):
Well, miss Benny? Now the night Dennis at the stall
on his own show.

Speaker 60 (01:30:00):
You must uphold his dignity by giving him more lines,
more songs, his own dressing room, and at all times
he must be treated with the utmost respect.

Speaker 11 (01:30:10):
Yeah, utmost.

Speaker 22 (01:30:14):
Now, look, miss to Day, how you listen to me?
You can run Dennis's life if you want to, but
you're not gonna run mine.

Speaker 11 (01:30:21):
Gee, mister Benny, my father wouldn't dare talk to her
like that?

Speaker 22 (01:30:24):
You're a father? What a weakling he must be? Where'd
your mother ever get him? Anyway Eastern Columbia Broadway at night.

Speaker 1 (01:30:34):
Gee, they have.

Speaker 22 (01:30:35):
Everything now missus day. Look, I don't want to talk
any more about it. In that's settled, all right, If
that's the way you feel about it.

Speaker 12 (01:30:42):
Come on, Dennis, we'll go home.

Speaker 22 (01:30:43):
Dennis says, right here, I want to hear the song
he's gonna do on my program.

Speaker 60 (01:30:47):
Very well, but I'm leaving. I'll wait for you outside, Dennis,
good bye.

Speaker 11 (01:30:55):
Oh geez, she's a character, isn't she.

Speaker 22 (01:31:00):
I'll say she is? Now go ahead, Dennis, I want
to hear the song you're gonna do. Okay, I have
trouble with everybody.

Speaker 19 (01:31:17):
Oo keep coming by.

Speaker 22 (01:31:22):
Like a song?

Speaker 32 (01:31:28):
What song?

Speaker 22 (01:31:31):
I keep saying?

Speaker 61 (01:31:34):
Remember the sweet you used to be? That was long.

Speaker 62 (01:31:47):
On me?

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
Scaming by.

Speaker 61 (01:31:55):
Like an old melogy, the per fume of bral.

Speaker 1 (01:32:05):
As in May threet for my room.

Speaker 61 (01:32:16):
Indember where for gopen thing.

Speaker 44 (01:32:33):
Loke hommy.

Speaker 22 (01:33:14):
Oh that was very very good, Dennis. By the way,
you just recorded that number, didn't you, Yes, sir, Well,
well it's swell. Now we're going to listen to the
World series.

Speaker 1 (01:33:23):
Kid.

Speaker 19 (01:33:23):
You want to say, no, I better run along.

Speaker 11 (01:33:25):
The character is waiting for me.

Speaker 22 (01:33:29):
Okay, okay, along.

Speaker 32 (01:33:30):
Kid, Come on, Jack, the game must be starting about now.

Speaker 22 (01:33:34):
All right, I'll turn it on. Now let's see.

Speaker 34 (01:33:40):
And now a message from our sponsor, the Happy Home,
Sweet Home Real Estate Company.

Speaker 1 (01:33:44):
Friends, do you have a roof over your head? Or
have you been roughing it in a love prayer? Top here?

Speaker 20 (01:33:54):
Don't pay the exorbitant prices for houses that are being
asked today by our competitors will go out blindly and
be hooked by just anyone.

Speaker 22 (01:34:03):
Come to us.

Speaker 1 (01:34:06):
Remember we are your friends.

Speaker 22 (01:34:08):
Yeah, any minute, I want to get listen.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10):
To this week's special author.

Speaker 20 (01:34:12):
For only sixty seven thousand dollars, you can get a
beautiful California Moterey style points at huh.

Speaker 22 (01:34:20):
He need gone down?

Speaker 18 (01:34:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:34:22):
I get the ball game, okaya?

Speaker 15 (01:34:27):
Queen you cheering right away on your feet.

Speaker 32 (01:34:40):
Every No, no, John, don't leave me.

Speaker 22 (01:34:44):
I beg you, I implore you, Please, John, I love you.

Speaker 11 (01:34:48):
I love you.

Speaker 22 (01:34:49):
This sounds interesting.

Speaker 44 (01:34:51):
John.

Speaker 62 (01:34:52):
If you no longer care for me, think of the children,
Think of William, Linda Milton, Jeanette, Percy, Ellen Hill and Steve, Peggy, Harriet, Margaret, Richard,
Dorothy and little four year old Herbert.

Speaker 12 (01:35:05):
Our eldest.

Speaker 22 (01:35:14):
Herbert is only four years old Jack a ball game. Well,
I thought she was getting the lineups.

Speaker 15 (01:35:21):
She loved in my hand and told me leave forever?
When wait?

Speaker 22 (01:35:28):
Why can I get think of it?

Speaker 20 (01:35:30):
Ladies and gentlemen, The California Monterey is now concert hunt
for all of me.

Speaker 22 (01:35:35):
I wish I knew what station that ballgame is on?

Speaker 1 (01:35:38):
Why I didn't?

Speaker 62 (01:35:39):
No, no, John, don't leave me. All day long, I
do the housework, not to mention the mending for William
Linda Milton.

Speaker 22 (01:35:47):
Jet's person Heaven. She didn't want to wait for Herbert.
She's crazy. I must find the ball game.

Speaker 15 (01:36:00):
You see the way he shakes her tan marine.

Speaker 22 (01:36:05):
Oh what's the matter? I can't seem to get her
a Jackson? Hello everybody? Hello Phil, Hell, sit down a minute,
will you. I'm trying to get the ball game. Hey Phil,
you haven't forgotten her about our bet?

Speaker 53 (01:36:15):
Have you?

Speaker 12 (01:36:16):
Of course?

Speaker 3 (01:36:16):
Not?

Speaker 32 (01:36:17):
How much did you bet?

Speaker 10 (01:36:18):
Jack?

Speaker 4 (01:36:18):
Well?

Speaker 22 (01:36:18):
It wasn't money, is he? Phil has Saint Louis? I
have Boston and the winner gets to kiss Betty Gravell.

Speaker 32 (01:36:24):
What about the loser?

Speaker 22 (01:36:25):
He holds Harry James.

Speaker 39 (01:36:31):
Yeah, well it's Jack Wynn. Who's gonna hold Betty Gravell?

Speaker 22 (01:36:34):
Don't be funny, I said, down, Phil, maybe I can
get the game now.

Speaker 12 (01:36:37):
No, I'm sorry, Jackson, but.

Speaker 22 (01:36:38):
I can't stay. You see, I just dropped in to
invite you to a little stag party we're given for Frankie,
my guitar player.

Speaker 27 (01:36:43):
He's getting married.

Speaker 19 (01:36:44):
Frankie's getting married. Well, who's he marrying?

Speaker 1 (01:36:47):
Phil?

Speaker 22 (01:36:48):
That little girl who plays the harp in my band,
she imagined Frankie getting married. I didn't even know they
were serious. I know he went out with her one
Well that's what did it.

Speaker 34 (01:36:57):
When he brought her home, her father was standing on
the front porch with a clarinet, and frank thought it
was a shotgun.

Speaker 22 (01:37:11):
Well that's a logical mistake. Don't rush off field, sit
down and listen to the game. And I Jackson, I
gotta run along. I'll see at the party, okay, but
I'll get there a little late. I'm on Charlie McCarthy's
program today. Okay, so long, everybody along. Fell give my
regards to Alice.

Speaker 37 (01:37:26):
Alice, Alice, and.

Speaker 22 (01:37:34):
I'll be quiet and we'll hear the game that Jimmy.

Speaker 19 (01:37:43):
Oprah Heaven.

Speaker 20 (01:37:46):
If you buy one of our lovely homes for sixty
seven thousand, dollars. You'll have room for the whole family,
including William, Linda, Milton, Jeannette Versus together with Steven.

Speaker 63 (01:37:58):
Hun On.

Speaker 19 (01:38:00):
What's come over you?

Speaker 62 (01:38:01):
You've changed so you would never like this until we
moved into this California Monterey style constant.

Speaker 44 (01:38:07):
Hut.

Speaker 22 (01:38:09):
Be something wrong with this radio? Hey, what's that?

Speaker 13 (01:38:14):
Here we are in the third inning of this very
crucial First World Series game.

Speaker 12 (01:38:18):
That's it, that's it, I got it.

Speaker 22 (01:38:19):
A hush falls over the crowd, the Countess two and three, and.

Speaker 1 (01:38:23):
Here comes the pitch.

Speaker 12 (01:38:25):
It's a long drive out to let Williams is going back.

Speaker 15 (01:38:29):
He can't get it.

Speaker 22 (01:38:30):
It's a hip and.

Speaker 53 (01:38:31):
Green birds on.

Speaker 12 (01:38:36):
Greenbird.

Speaker 22 (01:38:37):
That was last year's day.

Speaker 34 (01:38:39):
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, green birds on third.

Speaker 1 (01:38:41):
The bases are now loaded.

Speaker 53 (01:38:43):
And coming up to that is the Gypsy, the gypsying.

Speaker 22 (01:38:51):
Oh, it's and all next time. I believe I'll read
about it, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to say a

(01:39:34):
few words about the USO fundraising drive for nineteen forty seven.
The war is not yet over for two hundred thousand
veterans still in our hospitals, to say nothing of the
men sweating out their discharges the troops overseas, the teenage
soldiers away from home for the first time. The USO
has served them well and it has been a big

(01:39:54):
responsibility and it will be ahead for next year. Let's
continue to support our veterans by giving generously to the
USO through your community chest or your local USA USO campaign.
Thank you, diacco d'bacco dust a moment. But first, here

(01:40:16):
is my good friend Effie Boone, a.

Speaker 59 (01:40:21):
Of EXSXA I American.

Speaker 22 (01:40:23):
Lucky strike means fine tobacco, and in a cigarette, it's
the tobacco that counts. Independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers, and
warehousemen really no tobacco. For example, mister Herbert T. Highsmith,
independent tobacco buyer of Robertsonville, North Carolina, has bought and
sold tobacco for fifteen years.

Speaker 34 (01:40:41):
He said, season after season, I've seen the makers of
Lucky Strike by quality tobacco, fine tobacco with real flavor, smooth,
ripe and mild. So for myself, I picked Luckies. I've
smoked them for fifteen years. Quote season after season, I've
seen the makers of Lucky Strike by quality tobacco. Quote yes,
year after year, independent tobacco experts like mister high Smith

(01:41:05):
can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and
by that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco.

Speaker 22 (01:41:11):
Fine light, naturally mild tobacco. Yes, Lucky Strike means fine
tobacco ls mft ls, mft ls mft.

Speaker 34 (01:41:24):
Yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm,
so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw.

Speaker 22 (01:41:30):
The famous tobacco euctionineers are done. Tonight's programmer, mister F. E.
Boone of Lexington, kentuckyxx. I'm amaton, mister La speed Riggs
of Goldsborough, North Carolina, American as all Risdale speaking for
Lucky Strike, the cigarette that means fine tobacco. Hello, oh

(01:42:02):
my New York call. Yes, yes, I'm ready. Hello Hello, Yes,
this is a Jack Benny. Well, what about my offer? No, no, no,
I can't do it. I can't do it. Fifty dollars
is all? I all right? Sixty dollars okay, it's a deal.
Goodbye Jack. Who is that? I just bought the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Speaker 41 (01:42:40):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

Speaker 7 (01:42:44):
From seventy nine years ago. October sixth, nineteen forty six,
Jack Bennie, I forgot to tell you what's on tomorrow,
and we'll tell you what's on tomorrow. We'll have more
comedy on Tuesday with Fred Allen and Aussie and Harriet
from nineteen four five, the Who's Your Hot Shots from
nineteen fifty, Milton Burrow from nineteen forty seven. Wednesday, we'll

(01:43:07):
have Barry Craig, Confidential Investigator, Boston Backi, The Adventures of
Philip Marlow and Calling All Cars. Thursday, Phil Harris, Alice
Fay uncut with the entire warmup of the show. Also
Bibber McGhee and Molly from nineteen forty five, Guildersleep from
nineteen forty six, and Father Knows Best from nineteen forty two,

(01:43:30):
and then more comedy on Friday with Amos and Andy,
the Aldertch Family, Lamon Amner and Jack Benny. All Right,
that's all coming up here the rest of this week
on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox up next for
a little to Summerfield and see what's going on with
the Great gilders Sleeve.

Speaker 33 (01:43:52):
There are two air raid warning signals. A steady blast
of three to five minutes means attack is probable a
wavering tono series of short last means take cover all right.

Speaker 7 (01:44:02):
Now, let's check in with Fiber McGee and Molly's old buddy.
And you know who that is. That's the Gilder's Great
Gilders Sleep. This episode of the program goes back all
the way to October sixth, nineteen forty eight, as Guildy
tries to reform.

Speaker 34 (01:44:22):
The Craft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great
Guilders Leave. The Great Guilders Leave is brought to you

(01:44:51):
by the Craft Foods Company, makers of Park Margarine. Millions
of women all over America serve Park because it tastes
o good. Why Park tastes like it should cost twice
as much to market, to market.

Speaker 23 (01:45:06):
To Park home again, home again.

Speaker 1 (01:45:09):
Two days?

Speaker 61 (01:45:10):
You like it, You love the five millions who.

Speaker 34 (01:45:12):
Say that favor with p A r k A Y
Park Margarine made by Craft. Well, A baby in the

(01:45:33):
house can certainly change a person's life. Take the Great
Guilder Sleep, for instance. Usually at eight o'clock in the morning,
he's fast asleep. Now things are different. At eight o'clock
he's up, dressed and cheerfully bathing the baby.

Speaker 1 (01:45:47):
This is fun isn't a baby.

Speaker 59 (01:45:52):
I'm gonna get you all nice and clean, then you'll
have your breakfast. Let's wash your little toesies. You're splashing, baby,
Well you splash me, I'll splash you.

Speaker 44 (01:46:09):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:46:10):
Give me your foot.

Speaker 59 (01:46:11):
Now we'll wash your little toes one at a time.
This little piggy went to market tickles, and this little
piggy stayed. Come in, Bertie, mister gil, what's the matter.

Speaker 23 (01:46:28):
Looks like you got more water on you than the.

Speaker 1 (01:46:31):
Yes, I guess so.

Speaker 53 (01:46:35):
Her.

Speaker 1 (01:46:35):
I'll read it later, Bertie.

Speaker 23 (01:46:36):
Might be something important came specially delivered.

Speaker 59 (01:46:39):
Did let me see the envelope? Call you Welfare department here?
Hold is Sobernie? Wonder what they want? Yeah, you're mister
Gilli Bab concerning the baby that you found in your
car several weeks ago. Since the parents have not been located,
we feel it's time to this us the future plans.

Speaker 14 (01:47:01):
For this child.

Speaker 1 (01:47:02):
Our welfare investigator.

Speaker 59 (01:47:04):
Miss Phoebe Crabtree, will call on you at your home
Saturday evening. Please be there, yours truly, mister him somebody
County Welfare Department investigator?

Speaker 1 (01:47:15):
What's she coming around here for?

Speaker 23 (01:47:17):
I don't know. Miss Gilsey.

Speaker 1 (01:47:18):
Maybe they want to take the baby away. What that's it, Bertie.
I suppose I'm not raising.

Speaker 23 (01:47:23):
Her, right, mister Gilsey, you're doing a fine job with
the baby.

Speaker 1 (01:47:26):
That doesn't make any difference.

Speaker 59 (01:47:27):
This investigator comes spying around and find something wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:47:31):
Well, they can't do this with me, Bertie.

Speaker 23 (01:47:32):
No, so don't you let them.

Speaker 1 (01:47:33):
I'm gonna fight this thing.

Speaker 23 (01:47:34):
I'm drag with you.

Speaker 1 (01:47:35):
They can't shove me around. Nelson, You too big. I'll
never give up.

Speaker 23 (01:47:42):
That's rag, mister Gilsey.

Speaker 1 (01:47:44):
Don't give up your ships. Don't worry, Bertie. I've just
begun to fight. Well, what about it? God? What am
I gonna do?

Speaker 33 (01:48:01):
Now?

Speaker 43 (01:48:01):
Buildy, If you'll just calm down a minute?

Speaker 1 (01:48:03):
Why can I calm down? When this woman's coming tomorrow
take the baby away?

Speaker 16 (01:48:06):
Best letter doesn't say anything of the kind. It merely
states that this Phoebe Crabtree is coming down.

Speaker 1 (01:48:12):
I know what's in the letter, hook or I can read.

Speaker 16 (01:48:15):
How Guildy, don't get yourself in a kissing. This old
thing is merely routine. The Welfare department always checks up
in cases like that.

Speaker 59 (01:48:22):
Well, I don't want anybody named Phoebe Crabtree snooping around
my house.

Speaker 16 (01:48:26):
Yeah, daby, they have no reason to take the baby away.
After all, you're not a bank robber.

Speaker 22 (01:48:31):
Well, you're not a.

Speaker 16 (01:48:32):
Second story ma'am. No, and there's no law against being
a fathead. Now see here, this investigator will merely interview
you and then.

Speaker 12 (01:48:44):
Ask for a few reference.

Speaker 43 (01:48:46):
Oh, i'd suggest.

Speaker 16 (01:48:47):
If you ask a few of our leading citizens to
vouch for you. How about the mayor?

Speaker 43 (01:48:52):
Mayor, Well, I don't know, it does matter in trouble
with him again.

Speaker 59 (01:48:56):
Well, he was sort of unreasonable about my last water
report because it was a little late three months.

Speaker 43 (01:49:03):
H Well, let's see.

Speaker 16 (01:49:06):
It ought to be someone who is a prominent member
of the community. I know missus Pettybone.

Speaker 1 (01:49:12):
Oh, that old busybody.

Speaker 16 (01:49:15):
I know you too, don't get along very well. But
she has a lot of influence in this town.

Speaker 59 (01:49:19):
But she's so stuck up, Judge, I can just hear.
How do you do, mister Gildersleeve. Now it's up to you, Gildy.

Speaker 16 (01:49:28):
You said you were worried about keeping the baby.

Speaker 43 (01:49:30):
Eh, I guess you're right. Horse, I'll have to go
see her and Gildy. If I were you, I'd make
an effort to be nice to it.

Speaker 59 (01:49:36):
It'll be an effort, all right, but I'll do it
for the baby. Oh, good morning, missus, Pettybone.

Speaker 12 (01:49:53):
Oh how do you do.

Speaker 23 (01:49:55):
Mister gild.

Speaker 1 (01:49:58):
Just happened to be going by.

Speaker 59 (01:49:59):
I thought i'd drop in and say hello, Oh, hello, hello.

Speaker 64 (01:50:05):
Is there something you wanted, mister gilderslave I want?

Speaker 1 (01:50:07):
I don't know. Just happened to be going by.

Speaker 43 (01:50:09):
I thought i'd say hello.

Speaker 64 (01:50:10):
Yes, Well, if you will excuse me, I'm very busy
this morning.

Speaker 59 (01:50:14):
Of course, suppose you are pretty busy with all your activities.
I was just saying to Judge Hooker, I don't know
what Summerfield would do without missus Pettybaweh, you will, yeah.
Why you're one of the town's leading lights.

Speaker 22 (01:50:27):
Nice of you to say so.

Speaker 1 (01:50:29):
Well you are.

Speaker 59 (01:50:30):
You're president of the Women's Club, the Book Lovers, the
Summerfield Shakespeare's Society.

Speaker 1 (01:50:34):
Why you've got your nose? I mean, you're and everything.

Speaker 59 (01:50:40):
I don't see how you do so many things and
stay so attractive too.

Speaker 1 (01:50:45):
Thank you.

Speaker 64 (01:50:50):
Well, don't you come in, mister Ray I made it.
Please sit down, Thank you.

Speaker 65 (01:50:58):
I was a little surprised when you mentioned our Summerfield
Shakespeare society. I didn't know you were a follower of
the bar who the Bard, that's what we call Shakespeare.

Speaker 59 (01:51:10):
Oh well, I never knew him that well, but you
do like his play? Oh yes, I wouldn't miss one.

Speaker 65 (01:51:17):
Oh well, in that case, you'll want to see our
thrilling production of Macbeth next week.

Speaker 22 (01:51:22):
Well, I am.

Speaker 65 (01:51:23):
Playing Lady Macbeth. Is this a dagger that I see
before me? That's a line from the play.

Speaker 59 (01:51:32):
Oh, of course, here are four tickets for you.

Speaker 66 (01:51:34):
And your family.

Speaker 64 (01:51:35):
You can send me a check for twelve dollars.

Speaker 59 (01:51:37):
Twelve dollars. Well, thank you, missus pettybon. Yes, I wonder
if I could ask you a teeny weeny little favor.

Speaker 44 (01:51:46):
Of course.

Speaker 59 (01:51:47):
You see, an investigator from the welfare department is coming
to see me tomorrow about my keeping the baby.

Speaker 1 (01:51:52):
Oh yes, now, if you could just put in a
good word for me, it would mean a lot.

Speaker 65 (01:51:57):
Well, I don't know, mister, I would have one or
two little reservations about recommending.

Speaker 1 (01:52:04):
You, Oh you would. Yes, there are a few.

Speaker 64 (01:52:07):
Of your habits.

Speaker 65 (01:52:08):
I do not approve of smoking cigars, corosing with those
jolly boys, not to mention your little peccadillos with the
fair Sex.

Speaker 64 (01:52:18):
Those are all little black marks.

Speaker 59 (01:52:21):
Mister, Well, i'd be glad to give up cigars and
the jolly boys, not to mention the little peccadillos.

Speaker 65 (01:52:31):
Oh well, it's easier said than done. I'll have to
think it over and i'll let you know tomorrow. But oriva,
now I'm mu strippers. What is this a dagger that
I see before me?

Speaker 62 (01:52:48):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:52:48):
That's me and I'm leaving good day?

Speaker 22 (01:53:04):
Why Uncle Moore?

Speaker 23 (01:53:06):
Uh well, you're reading a book.

Speaker 59 (01:53:08):
Well I don't see anything so strange about that, Marjorie
Perfay Nashville. For a man to sit in his own
living room after dinner and read, Oh sure, there's nothing
so funny about it. I don't have to be out
carousing with the jolly boys every night, singing, having a
good time, of.

Speaker 66 (01:53:25):
Course, not, unkie. You just go right ahead and read
if you want to want me to get your cigars.

Speaker 43 (01:53:31):
Cigar, Oh thank you, my dear, giving up cigars.

Speaker 23 (01:53:35):
Uncle More. Don't you think you'd be overdoing this being respectable?

Speaker 22 (01:53:38):
Well, just because missus pettiba, Marjorie, I know what I'm doing, all.

Speaker 23 (01:53:42):
Right, unkie. I think all this pretending is silly, and
you're a pretty nice old uncle, just the way you are.

Speaker 43 (01:53:49):
Well, thank you, my dear.

Speaker 1 (01:53:50):
But we mustn't give him any reason to take the
baby away. Let's all be on our good behavior. Me right,
what were you going? No, you're not.

Speaker 59 (01:54:03):
You're going to practice staying home for change, laying out
in the street like some rag them uffin. Suppose Missus
Pettybone should see you, Missus pettibone, she does. I don't
argue you're staying in.

Speaker 1 (01:54:14):
Later and quit whispering.

Speaker 59 (01:54:16):
We're gonna start behaving like a normal civilized family. Won't
hurt us to spend an evening home together, Uncle More, Yes, I.

Speaker 66 (01:54:23):
Thought you had a date with Missus Fairchild tonight.

Speaker 59 (01:54:25):
Badline, Well I did, but I'm calling it off. Oh
there's no reason why I have to be going out
on dates all the time. After all, women aren't the
most important thing in my life, Leroy.

Speaker 66 (01:54:41):
Shouldn't you call miss Fairchild and tell her you're not coming?

Speaker 1 (01:54:44):
Yes? I intended, we.

Speaker 37 (01:54:45):
Ought to do it now it's eight o'clock.

Speaker 1 (01:54:47):
All right, I will.

Speaker 43 (01:54:48):
I'm not afraid to call Adline. I'll do it right now.

Speaker 59 (01:54:53):
Hope Badline won't mind my breaking our date. Oh well,
she'll understand.

Speaker 22 (01:54:59):
I think.

Speaker 59 (01:55:02):
I'd be polite but firm. I have to let her
know that I mean business. Hello, hello, miss Fairchild?

Speaker 18 (01:55:12):
What who is this?

Speaker 66 (01:55:14):
This is mister Gillis lave oh track, and you're silling, Dinny,
you play some cute.

Speaker 1 (01:55:19):
I'm not playing.

Speaker 66 (01:55:21):
You are too, your great big honey.

Speaker 1 (01:55:24):
Adline, I mean, miss Fairchild, I'm waiting.

Speaker 66 (01:55:28):
Well, my cosey over here is a fire and a
fire please.

Speaker 15 (01:55:33):
There, and the lights are turned down, No.

Speaker 66 (01:55:39):
They are, and I'm just dripping with perfume.

Speaker 1 (01:55:44):
You are I mean you are well. No, I've got
to be strong. I mean I'm going to stay home
and read a book.

Speaker 22 (01:55:55):
Read a book a claar very well from books.

Speaker 15 (01:56:00):
Gills leave. If that's the way you feel, you.

Speaker 44 (01:56:01):
Can just stay home, goodbye, goodbye.

Speaker 1 (01:56:06):
Oh well, the baby loves me? What a morning?

Speaker 59 (01:56:27):
Look at this desk piled high would work? I guess
I could answer a couple of letters. Bessie, Bessie, Oh
that girl. I suppose she's down getting another soda. I
guess Adeline will never speak to me again after last night.

(01:56:47):
And I hope missus Pettibonne is satisfied. I've given up everything.
That old cigar and the ashtray sure looks tempting. Maybe
if I just no be strong, killer's sleeve, the cigar
sure is.

Speaker 1 (01:57:05):
Come in.

Speaker 66 (01:57:09):
Oh all right, I'm sorry I was so mean to
you last night. Why you poor misunderstood man?

Speaker 1 (01:57:20):
You Adeline?

Speaker 66 (01:57:22):
Aren't you angry at my it's a bit ale one nos,
rock Morton. Marjorie told me all about your noble sacrifice,
and I think you're just wonderful doing all this for
that little baby. It's the finest thing I ever heard of.

Speaker 43 (01:57:38):
Well, I'm just doing my duty, that's all.

Speaker 66 (01:57:40):
Well, I think it's mighty honorable. And I want you
to know, rock Morton, that little Adeline is right with us.
If you can make a sacrifice, so can I. What
do you mean, rock Morton?

Speaker 1 (01:57:52):
This is goodbye bye?

Speaker 15 (01:57:54):
Huh.

Speaker 66 (01:57:56):
I mustn't stand between you and that little baby. I
don't think I should.

Speaker 1 (01:58:00):
Let's see, No, I like, we don't have to overdo this.

Speaker 66 (01:58:02):
Farewell, now, don't take it too hard. Let's have no tears,
no regrets. When I leave. Just imagine I'm going into
the next room there.

Speaker 1 (01:58:14):
But that's the broom closet.

Speaker 66 (01:58:19):
Well, we're just two little bees that met in the
magno with your blossoms. We sipped our honey and then
flew aways. Buzz buzz buzz, rock Horton. Yes, before I
fly away, would you do me a teeny weeny favor?

Speaker 43 (01:58:37):
Why, of course, would.

Speaker 66 (01:58:39):
You kiss your little honeybee goodbye?

Speaker 59 (01:58:42):
There's no harm in one little kiss. Since we're saying goodbye,
I'm puckered.

Speaker 67 (01:58:48):
Helloone, Hello, This is miss Honeybee, I mean miss Erchile.

Speaker 59 (01:59:02):
How's Lady Macbeth today?

Speaker 64 (01:59:05):
Misticulously, I came here to tell you that you could
count on an excellent character reference from me.

Speaker 65 (01:59:10):
Oh, thank you, But after what I just witnessed, I
find I must reverse my decision.

Speaker 1 (01:59:15):
Good miss Penny rock Morton.

Speaker 15 (01:59:16):
Now would you stand?

Speaker 18 (01:59:17):
Goodbye?

Speaker 15 (01:59:18):
Forever?

Speaker 64 (01:59:18):
Goople likeless stories? And what's that in the ashtray?

Speaker 1 (01:59:24):
I forgot? That's from yesterday.

Speaker 64 (01:59:26):
I'll have a few things to say to that welfare investigator.

Speaker 1 (01:59:29):
Good day.

Speaker 66 (01:59:31):
I'm sorry, rock Morton.

Speaker 1 (01:59:33):
That's all right.

Speaker 41 (01:59:51):
Here are real prizes for you.

Speaker 34 (01:59:53):
Twenty brand new nineteen forty nine Ford Sedans will be one.

Speaker 41 (01:59:57):
In park series of baby naming contests.

Speaker 34 (02:00:00):
Yes, four big beautiful Ford Sedans will be awarded every
week for five separate weeks, and the winner of the
grand prize gets a one thousand dollars bonus to go
with the forty wins, and there are more and more
prizes each week.

Speaker 22 (02:00:13):
For five weeks, Park Margarine will award forty general electric
table radios, twenty Corey coffee makers, twenty Toastmaster automatic pop
up toasters, sixteen.

Speaker 1 (02:00:23):
New ten dollar bills.

Speaker 34 (02:00:24):
Now, as you know, the elder Sleeve is trying to
find a name for the cuddly baby girl he found
a few.

Speaker 41 (02:00:29):
Weeks ago, So to edit this contest, just send us
a name for the baby. Ride it on an entry blank.

Speaker 34 (02:00:35):
They're available at your food dealers with complete contest rules,
or use a plain piece of paper.

Speaker 41 (02:00:41):
Send entry with one red flap.

Speaker 34 (02:00:43):
From end of a package of Park Margarine and your
name and address to Park Margarine Box seven three six, Chicago,
seventy seven, Illinois. Be sure to enclose name and address
of your park dealer. Make a bid for your new
beautiful nineteen forty nine and forward tonight mail your entry
to par K Margarin Park seven pre six, Chicago, seventy seven, Illinois.

(02:01:06):
This week's contest closes October sixteenth.

Speaker 41 (02:01:22):
Well, the Great Guildersleeve is a very worried man.

Speaker 34 (02:01:25):
With the influential Missus Pettibone against him, he feels his
chances of keeping the baby are very slim. It's afternoon
now and we find our water commissioner crushed in spirit,
lodding homeward from the office. He's just passing Floyd's barbershop.

Speaker 1 (02:01:42):
Hey, Tom, Floyd, I don't feel like talking to him,
run away. I want to ask you something. Well, what
is it, Floyd?

Speaker 68 (02:01:49):
What's this I hear about you and miss batch House
schmoozing around in your office.

Speaker 43 (02:01:53):
What that's nice work?

Speaker 68 (02:01:55):
If you can get it commissioned, Floyd, that was all
perfectly innocent. Ah, I suppose you was just collecting her
water bill If who told you about this?

Speaker 43 (02:02:06):
Well, it ain't.

Speaker 68 (02:02:07):
Exactly a secret commission, Missus Pettybone spreading it all over town.

Speaker 59 (02:02:10):
Oh this isn't funny, Floyd. It may interest you to
know that I might lose the baby on the cot
of this.

Speaker 43 (02:02:16):
No kidding.

Speaker 59 (02:02:17):
I was conning on Missus Pettybone for a character reference
when that investigator comes tonight.

Speaker 43 (02:02:22):
What a reference I'm gonna get?

Speaker 1 (02:02:24):
She?

Speaker 43 (02:02:24):
Im'm sorry. If there's anything I can do, commission, Well, if.

Speaker 68 (02:02:27):
You need a reference or anything, you can always count
on a little Floydia Munson.

Speaker 43 (02:02:31):
Well, thanks, Floyd.

Speaker 59 (02:02:32):
Then I'm afraid a recommendation from Munson's barbershop wouldn't be
much help. Why not, missus Pettybone is an important civic leader.

Speaker 43 (02:02:39):
And well, oh I'm not good enough for your hand.

Speaker 68 (02:02:42):
No, Floyd, I didn't your information commissioner.

Speaker 43 (02:02:44):
Barbaron is an honorable profession.

Speaker 1 (02:02:46):
Of course it is. I didn't don't know why you
should talk.

Speaker 68 (02:02:48):
They had barber's before they had water commissioners, Floyd. I
got it way back with the Romans, by them Roman Togas.
There's nothing but barber sheets.

Speaker 1 (02:02:56):
Floyd, if you'll just listen to it.

Speaker 68 (02:02:58):
I'm proud to be a bar but it's honest toil.
And at least I don't spend my time chasing dames
around a desk.

Speaker 1 (02:03:06):
I'll look, I'll take Casanova. What's the use?

Speaker 43 (02:03:22):
What a life?

Speaker 59 (02:03:24):
Yes, I'll drop into Pev's and get a cigar. Miss
Pettibones got her mind all made up about me anyway,
Nobody can say Phoebe knows her pretty well. I wonder
if he put in a good word for me, Maybe
if I flatter him a little.

Speaker 1 (02:03:40):
Ah, good afternoon TV.

Speaker 43 (02:03:43):
Yeah, I thank you, honest man. What can I do?

Speaker 1 (02:03:48):
TV?

Speaker 59 (02:03:48):
You're a wonderful fellow. I said, you're a wonderful fellow.

Speaker 44 (02:03:54):
I said that you.

Speaker 59 (02:03:56):
Yes, sir, you're a splendid pharmacist, a stalwart friend, and.

Speaker 43 (02:03:59):
I'm model husband. Well, I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (02:04:05):
You are, Peebe.

Speaker 61 (02:04:06):
I don't know.

Speaker 43 (02:04:06):
I've been pretty mean to miss it Pev a time.

Speaker 1 (02:04:09):
Why I can't believe that?

Speaker 23 (02:04:10):
And it's true.

Speaker 69 (02:04:12):
Yes, the other morning I cooked her breakfast, washed the dishes,
swept the floor, but I refused to burn the papers
you did. Yes, I was in a rebellious mood. I
don't know what comes over me sometimes. Well, I guess
I'm just a doctor jacko and mitter hinde.

Speaker 59 (02:04:32):
Hell, Peev, As far as I'm concerned, you have a
sterling character, and I'd give you my recommendation anytime.

Speaker 1 (02:04:38):
Thank you to anybody.

Speaker 43 (02:04:40):
Thank you again.

Speaker 59 (02:04:41):
I'm sure you'd do the same for me, Well, wouldn't you?
I don't know, Peev. I just said some nice things
about you nasty too, Well I did. Can't you say
something nice about.

Speaker 43 (02:04:55):
Me nasty day?

Speaker 23 (02:04:56):
I can?

Speaker 1 (02:04:57):
Why not?

Speaker 43 (02:04:58):
And I don't approve of kissing?

Speaker 5 (02:04:59):
Do I?

Speaker 43 (02:05:00):
Office hours.

Speaker 59 (02:05:01):
Peebe, don't you listen to missus pettybone. It was all
a mistake.

Speaker 43 (02:05:03):
It turned me a line.

Speaker 1 (02:05:04):
Peoebe Adeline and I were just saying goodbye.

Speaker 27 (02:05:07):
Mister Steve.

Speaker 43 (02:05:08):
You can tell that to Sweeney, Uncle Mord.

Speaker 23 (02:05:26):
I think it's a shame, and you were.

Speaker 59 (02:05:28):
Trying so hard to Well, there's nothing we can do
about it now, my dear, it's water over the dam.

Speaker 66 (02:05:34):
I'm gonna miss that baby so much.

Speaker 49 (02:05:36):
Yuh me too.

Speaker 59 (02:05:38):
Children, this is an unhappy day for all of us.
Missus crab Cree will be here in a few hours.
The way things have turned out, I guess you'll take
our little baby away. We've got to be brave. It's
just one of life's little tragedies.

Speaker 1 (02:05:52):
We've got to keep our.

Speaker 43 (02:05:53):
Chins up, heads high, sure, unky, sure, uns, they'll take
it like little soldiers.

Speaker 1 (02:05:59):
Just be cheerful by it.

Speaker 23 (02:06:01):
Well, here's greating miss Gil's sleeve.

Speaker 1 (02:06:03):
Thank you, Bertie.

Speaker 23 (02:06:04):
I got her all bundled up in the carriage like
you told me?

Speaker 66 (02:06:06):
Or are you taking Roni for a walk.

Speaker 1 (02:06:08):
In the park.

Speaker 43 (02:06:09):
Will be our last little visit together.

Speaker 23 (02:06:12):
It's mean of that investigator to take away. I'm sure
gonna miss that little child.

Speaker 59 (02:06:17):
Yes, Bertie, we've decided to be cheerful about this.

Speaker 23 (02:06:21):
Yes, I'll be cheerful.

Speaker 1 (02:06:22):
That's the spirit.

Speaker 23 (02:06:24):
It's gonna be mighty lonesome. I've seeing that little face
in the morning.

Speaker 1 (02:06:27):
Now, Bertie.

Speaker 23 (02:06:28):
But i'll be cheerful.

Speaker 1 (02:06:29):
Good.

Speaker 23 (02:06:31):
I'm gonna feel awful when I look in at crib
and as nobody's as empty, Bertie. Please, but I'll be cheerful.
How sure? Gonna be quiet and gloomy without that little
baby's laughing?

Speaker 1 (02:06:43):
Bertie, But don't you worry about me.

Speaker 23 (02:06:45):
I'll be chilled.

Speaker 44 (02:06:47):
Come on, baby, want me to get it pretty?

Speaker 12 (02:07:01):
No, I'll get it.

Speaker 11 (02:07:02):
Lee Roy.

Speaker 23 (02:07:05):
Oh hello, yes, ma'am. Does mister Gildersleeve live here? Yes,
he does, but he ain't home right now.

Speaker 5 (02:07:11):
Oh well, I'm the investigator from the welfare department, Miss
Crabtree investigator.

Speaker 44 (02:07:17):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (02:07:18):
I was supposed to call this evening, but I got
away a little earlier than I expected.

Speaker 23 (02:07:23):
Yes, ma'am, is the baby here?

Speaker 44 (02:07:25):
No, ma'am.

Speaker 64 (02:07:26):
Was she with mister Guildersleeve?

Speaker 23 (02:07:27):
Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 64 (02:07:28):
Well, it's very important that I see them. Could you
tell me where they are?

Speaker 23 (02:07:32):
Mister Gilsleeves in the park?

Speaker 64 (02:07:33):
Oh well, I suppose I can find him.

Speaker 23 (02:07:36):
Well, when you see a sad fat man wheeling a
baby carriage, that's him.

Speaker 59 (02:07:54):
You like it Here in the park, baby, last game.
It is beautiful, leaves all turning red and gold. Hear
those birds. They'll be flying south pretty soon.

Speaker 1 (02:08:12):
I've been walking quite a while.

Speaker 59 (02:08:14):
Now, I think I'll sit down on this bench for
a minute. Well, baby, I guess this is the last
time we'll sit in the park together.

Speaker 22 (02:08:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 59 (02:08:31):
Well, I hope wherever they take you you will be happy.
Maybe they'll find your mother soon. You're gonna miss me
a little baby, certainly gonna miss you.

Speaker 44 (02:08:52):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (02:08:53):
Oh hello, Oh my, that's a cute baby. Yes, yes,
hello there, kitchi, kitchi cool. I love babies, don't you.

Speaker 44 (02:09:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 64 (02:09:07):
Mind if I sit down?

Speaker 23 (02:09:08):
Oh no, no, no, tall, thank you?

Speaker 1 (02:09:12):
Huh you're getting cold? Baby here, let me talk your
little blanket in there.

Speaker 23 (02:09:19):
You kind of like that baby, don't you.

Speaker 1 (02:09:22):
Yeah? I wish I didn't what.

Speaker 59 (02:09:25):
I won't have her after tonight. See, she isn't really
my baby. I'm just taking care of her. The welfare
department is going to take her away from me. They are, yeah,
sending some investigator down the snooper arm. Miss Phoebe Crabtree,
probably some old sorrow puss.

Speaker 44 (02:09:47):
Oh do you think so sure?

Speaker 59 (02:09:49):
I can just see her skinny old hatchet face. I
see she probably hates children too. Well, she might be
not with a name like Crabtree. Don't be ridiculous, miss
uh uh Crabtree.

Speaker 1 (02:10:07):
Crabtree.

Speaker 5 (02:10:09):
Yes, yes, I'm that skinny old hatchet face that hates children.
I heard a few things about you this afternoon, mister Gildersleeve.
I had a long distance call from a missus Pettybone.

Speaker 43 (02:10:24):
Ugh, I guess you're gonna take the baby away?

Speaker 35 (02:10:26):
Then?

Speaker 5 (02:10:27):
Oh no, In fact I came here to ask if
you'd mind keeping the baby a little longer.

Speaker 1 (02:10:31):
You did well, But what about missus pettybaw?

Speaker 5 (02:10:35):
Oh we didn't take her charges very seriously. The welfare
department doesn't take much stock.

Speaker 59 (02:10:40):
In room, of course, not fine organization, the Welfare Department.

Speaker 64 (02:10:45):
We've checked you very thoroughly.

Speaker 5 (02:10:47):
And besides, anyone seeing you and that baby together would
know you've done a wonderful job.

Speaker 43 (02:10:52):
Well, thank you, thank you, mister Gildersleeve.

Speaker 1 (02:10:55):
And goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, missus Crabtree.

Speaker 59 (02:10:58):
Wonderful name. Come on, baby, we're going home. Excuse me
while I lit a cigar.

Speaker 41 (02:11:26):
The great Guildess Labe'll be back in just a minute.

Speaker 34 (02:11:29):
Remember, just choosing a name for the gildersleeve, baby Girl
may bring you one of the following big prizes. Twenty
powerful streamlined nineteen forty nine Ford Sedans, two hundred beautiful
General Electric radios, one hundred Corey coffee makers, one hundred
Toastmaster automatic toasters, and cash prizes galore. Seven hundred twenty

(02:11:49):
one prizes in all in these park contests, plus a
one thousand dollars bonus to the grand prize winner.

Speaker 41 (02:11:56):
Just write your.

Speaker 34 (02:11:57):
Choice of a name on an entry blank obtainable.

Speaker 41 (02:11:59):
At your dealer's Then send your entry with one red.

Speaker 34 (02:12:02):
End flap from a package of Park Margarine, and with
your name and address to Park Margarine Mark seven three
six Chicago, seventy seven, Illinois. You want a big new
Ford Sedan, send your entry now.

Speaker 43 (02:12:27):
Hello, Hello Headline rock Morton.

Speaker 66 (02:12:31):
I'm awfully glad everything worked out to nice about the baby,
Thank you and truck. It's Mary cozy over here, huh
in the fire and a fire, Please the lights.

Speaker 42 (02:12:44):
To turn down, Loa.

Speaker 59 (02:12:48):
And your little honey bee is wit well buzz right
over good night, folks.

Speaker 34 (02:12:56):
The Great Guilders lead is played by Harold Terror that
Aline Farahi Imus Unimerco. The co was written by James
Arnor Zack Robinson, with music.

Speaker 41 (02:13:04):
By Jack Niekins.

Speaker 34 (02:13:05):
Included in the cast Water Tapley, Merry Lee, rob Lillian Randolph,
Earl Ross and Richard the Grand. This is John Wall
saying good night for the Craft Twelves Company.

Speaker 41 (02:13:13):
Makers of the.

Speaker 34 (02:13:14):
Famous line of craft quality food products. They sure to
listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further
adventures of the Great Yielder Sleeve.

Speaker 59 (02:13:24):
Lady, your food store has a big bargain waiting for you,
a bargain in nutrition.

Speaker 1 (02:13:28):
It's cheese.

Speaker 59 (02:13:29):
Cheese prices have come down, and cheese is a protein
food actually arms for unce no other basic food matches
cheese for high quality, complete proteum for calcium, phosphorus and
other nutrients from milk. For the tastiest cheese main dishes,
use one of Kraft's pasteurized process varieties medium mellow Craft Americans,
sharp Old English, or for rich at mild cheddar flavor.

(02:13:52):
Use the famous cheese food Velveta.

Speaker 1 (02:13:54):
Be a wise.

Speaker 43 (02:13:55):
Homemaker cooked with cheese often it's a bargain in nutrition.

Speaker 41 (02:14:02):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

Speaker 7 (02:14:06):
Unna Miracle was in a bit of a slump at
that per point in time in her career. She had
worked with WC. Fields in the nineteen forty film The
Bank Nick, and of course she had been in the
nineteen thirty nine film Destrie Rides Again. She got in
a catfight with Marlena Dietrich in that motion picture, and

(02:14:28):
she did have a bit of a career prior to that.
But she was kind of in a little bit of
a slump at this point in time, but then came
back as a middle aged woman playing Mothers and Maiden
Nants won a Tony Award in Broadway in nineteen fifty six,
and then in nineteen fifty nine's The Mating Game, she
was Paul Douglas's character wife and Debbie Reynolds character's mother.

(02:14:53):
Nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in
Summer and Smoke in nineteen sixty one, and she did
pass away in nineteen eighty six at the age of
eighty two. Una Merkel as Adlai beer Child there in
that episode of the Great Guildersley visit our webpage of
Classic Radio Dot Stream and in just a moment we'll

(02:15:15):
check in with Claudia and David.

Speaker 30 (02:15:22):
Every family should have a home shelter area. Every family
should stock that shelter area with a two week supply
of food and water. Prepare now to survive disaster.

Speaker 7 (02:15:32):
All right, let's check in with Claudia and David, as
it's a Monday, and let's see what's going on with
those two. This broadcast seventy eight years ago, October sixth,
nineteen forty seven.

Speaker 55 (02:15:45):
Your Coca Cola Butler presents Claudia Claudia on the original
stories by Rose Franken, brought to you, transcribed Monday through
Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca Cola. Relax

(02:16:10):
and while you're listening, refresh yourself, have a coke. And now, Claudia,

(02:16:42):
would you please pass the toast, missus Brown.

Speaker 9 (02:16:46):
You have the appetite, David, that's because I've got a
clear conscience. No regrets of any kind for anything, not in.

Speaker 6 (02:16:52):
One regret for marrying me, not even one.

Speaker 23 (02:16:54):
Good.

Speaker 10 (02:16:55):
Then I'll let you have your coffee out carefully.

Speaker 70 (02:16:58):
Thanks for telling me.

Speaker 10 (02:16:59):
You're welcome hand all right.

Speaker 70 (02:17:00):
Oh, fine, Grand Grand hmm.

Speaker 10 (02:17:04):
Toast sounds good this morning.

Speaker 4 (02:17:05):
It is wonderful you kind of bread. Glad you like it, David,
just four peace, Claudia.

Speaker 10 (02:17:10):
It's fit and stop Connie, Mammy, you're making self conscious.
I like to see him eat, Thank you. He's a
growing boy. He needs nourishment. Said to himself.

Speaker 9 (02:17:18):
I also need cream for my coffee.

Speaker 10 (02:17:20):
If you I forgot the cream, it's still outside in
the hall.

Speaker 55 (02:17:23):
I'll get it.

Speaker 31 (02:17:24):
Still, I'll get it.

Speaker 4 (02:17:25):
No, I'll get it.

Speaker 31 (02:17:26):
Can't go out looking like that, Claudia.

Speaker 9 (02:17:28):
Yes, do you want to disgrace me, young lady. I'm
perfectly willing and able to get the cream myself. As
a matter of fact, i'd rather than have all the time.

Speaker 63 (02:17:34):
I'd rather I'll go No, I'll see me carefully shaking
the table. Sorry, mamma, As long as you're up. Missus Naughton,
would you mind closing that window? The draft is blowing
my coffee too cool for me.

Speaker 15 (02:17:45):
You don't like the air.

Speaker 9 (02:17:46):
I love the air, but it's too much.

Speaker 10 (02:17:47):
First thing in the morning is when you need it most.

Speaker 9 (02:17:49):
First thing in the morning is when I need some
cream for my coffee.

Speaker 10 (02:17:52):
Mode practically on the table, right now.

Speaker 4 (02:17:55):
White a struggle. Glad to see you've got willpower, David.

Speaker 9 (02:17:59):
Oh, your daughter's not so bad, missus Brown. I'll get
used to her. But uh, you should see some of
my clients difficult too.

Speaker 31 (02:18:06):
Oh, very very you will manage anything in particular?

Speaker 4 (02:18:10):
You'd like me to teach Claudia.

Speaker 31 (02:18:11):
To make for you tonight?

Speaker 70 (02:18:12):
M give her full swing and see what she comes
up with. How about that?

Speaker 31 (02:18:16):
Maybe you don't know the risk you're running. She's taking
an awfully long time getting that cream.

Speaker 70 (02:18:23):
I've got an early appointment at the office today too.

Speaker 9 (02:18:26):
Claudia, Claudia, where are you, darling? We too big to
play hide and seek?

Speaker 22 (02:18:32):
Little girl?

Speaker 31 (02:18:32):
Come on back, Funny, she never misses a chance to
answer back.

Speaker 9 (02:18:36):
Uh, Claudia, come on back, dear, all is forgiven. Maybe
something happened, David, Um, we better go look for her.

Speaker 70 (02:18:45):
She'd expect it.

Speaker 4 (02:18:46):
Claudia, Cordia, where are you answer me?

Speaker 24 (02:18:50):
David?

Speaker 31 (02:18:51):
She's not in the kitchen or in the living room?

Speaker 39 (02:18:53):
No?

Speaker 31 (02:18:54):
Maybe did you what about the window?

Speaker 66 (02:18:57):
No?

Speaker 9 (02:18:57):
No, that th that's ridiculous, mother.

Speaker 70 (02:18:59):
I I I told her. I wish she didn't, David.

Speaker 9 (02:19:02):
Where do you suppose mother? There's no need to get upset.

Speaker 31 (02:19:06):
Oh there, she has to lock herself out.

Speaker 9 (02:19:09):
I'll go, we'll both go when I get my hands
on her. We're coming, we're coming. Yeah, it stuck again,
this time from the inside. Lift up on it.

Speaker 31 (02:19:21):
There had such a mess in that house, coach.

Speaker 9 (02:19:23):
I should leave her out there all morning too. I
would if I didn't have to get to the office.

Speaker 12 (02:19:28):
There.

Speaker 9 (02:19:29):
Now you can come in.

Speaker 31 (02:19:31):
She's not here, No one is, Claudia.

Speaker 9 (02:19:36):
If this is your idea of a joke, Claudia, Claudia, Claudia.

Speaker 14 (02:19:43):
Lose your dog?

Speaker 9 (02:19:44):
No, no, just my wife.

Speaker 14 (02:19:45):
Oh, well, she's not in the hall. I passed here
just a minute ago to pick up my paper at
the elevator.

Speaker 9 (02:19:51):
Thanks, thanks a lot.

Speaker 14 (02:19:52):
All right, you want to do something for that call.

Speaker 70 (02:19:56):
Whether she's not in the hall, she must be somewhere
in here.

Speaker 9 (02:20:00):
Oh, I know, out the back door, out the back
of the Claudia, Claudia, it's the front door again.

Speaker 6 (02:20:06):
She must be out there.

Speaker 9 (02:20:07):
I'm coming, Claudia, I'm coming.

Speaker 32 (02:20:09):
Get me and David.

Speaker 15 (02:20:10):
Let me in quick.

Speaker 4 (02:20:11):
I am, I am hurry on.

Speaker 17 (02:20:12):
Well what happened?

Speaker 1 (02:20:13):
Where were you?

Speaker 10 (02:20:14):
I could again?

Speaker 31 (02:20:16):
You're all dusty, of course I'm dusty.

Speaker 10 (02:20:18):
I was in the broom closet for half an hours.

Speaker 9 (02:20:20):
Rag off your place, very logical place to be to
come on in, missus Naton. It's not the broom closet,
but come on in.

Speaker 10 (02:20:26):
Thanks, Hey, dust me off.

Speaker 4 (02:20:27):
Mahma, I suppose the milkman left the cream in the broom.

Speaker 10 (02:20:31):
Let me explain. I went out for the quen.

Speaker 23 (02:20:33):
Oh, the door shut out.

Speaker 9 (02:20:36):
I told you to close that window.

Speaker 10 (02:20:38):
Remembers just as I was knocking to get back in,
a man came down the hall. Well, naturally, I didn't
want any of see me looking like this and the
lock stuck, so.

Speaker 27 (02:20:45):
I in the broom closet.

Speaker 10 (02:20:48):
He didn't see me either.

Speaker 9 (02:20:49):
Well good for him, neither did we when we opened
the door. That's because you were in the broom closet.

Speaker 55 (02:20:55):
I know now, both of you.

Speaker 70 (02:20:56):
Sit down and listen to what I have to say.

Speaker 9 (02:20:58):
Sit down there, sit down, I'm sitting now. Something has
got to be done about that lock in the front
door today.

Speaker 27 (02:21:06):
Any questions.

Speaker 10 (02:21:07):
Do you have time to finish your coffee?

Speaker 4 (02:21:09):
David?

Speaker 9 (02:21:10):
It's cold, I'll warm it.

Speaker 1 (02:21:12):
Up for it.

Speaker 9 (02:21:12):
I'll drink it cold.

Speaker 70 (02:21:13):
Never mind, where's the.

Speaker 14 (02:21:14):
Cream, David?

Speaker 10 (02:21:16):
I left it in the broom closet.

Speaker 26 (02:21:32):
Good afternoon, something for you too, ladies.

Speaker 10 (02:21:35):
Yes, we'd like to buy a new lock, door lock?

Speaker 18 (02:21:38):
What side?

Speaker 13 (02:21:39):
Uh?

Speaker 10 (02:21:39):
What size is our lock?

Speaker 15 (02:21:40):
Mama?

Speaker 31 (02:21:41):
Just to average. I didn't know they go buy sizes.

Speaker 26 (02:21:43):
All size of the hole drilled in your door. If
you want me to install it for you, doesn't make
any difference. I'll bring my drill along.

Speaker 10 (02:21:51):
Oh, we'll want you to install it.

Speaker 31 (02:21:52):
Fifty extra, that'll be all right.

Speaker 12 (02:21:54):
Uh?

Speaker 26 (02:21:55):
Any particular kind of lock you want? I ain't got
a tricky new one come in last.

Speaker 10 (02:22:00):
Nothing tricky, please, just the least complicated lock you have.

Speaker 26 (02:22:03):
H I'll tell you what got a youth lock in
a trade today and I'll let you have it for
fifty cents off lets price put it in for it.

Speaker 31 (02:22:12):
Besides, is it in good condition?

Speaker 1 (02:22:13):
Pret you are lady?

Speaker 31 (02:22:15):
What do you think, Claudia?

Speaker 10 (02:22:16):
As long as it works, Mama say you will be
fifty cents to the good too.

Speaker 31 (02:22:20):
M h, all right, we'll take it. Can you install
it this afternoon?

Speaker 26 (02:22:23):
Be right with you, lady?

Speaker 1 (02:22:25):
Be right with you?

Speaker 10 (02:22:36):
Mama? What time is it?

Speaker 31 (02:22:37):
Six twenty?

Speaker 4 (02:22:38):
And can I come into the kitchen now?

Speaker 1 (02:22:39):
Not?

Speaker 10 (02:22:40):
Yeah, I wanna try and make the potato salad by myself.

Speaker 4 (02:22:42):
Sure you don't want any hell positive say this is fun.
We'll be sure you wash the greater off onion sticks
in the little holes. Mama, do you know you're using
a very strong onion?

Speaker 10 (02:22:54):
These are my first tears since I've been married. Well,
everything's in the ice box. David should be home soon.

Speaker 1 (02:23:01):
Now.

Speaker 10 (02:23:01):
My timing's getting wonderful.

Speaker 31 (02:23:03):
You're just seeing misteak put on some garlic. Doesn't eat garlic.

Speaker 10 (02:23:06):
How do you know we're not having steak?

Speaker 31 (02:23:09):
Since when?

Speaker 10 (02:23:09):
Since I market? It's steak tomorrow tonight?

Speaker 4 (02:23:12):
Cold cuts, Claudia, it's a little early in your marriage
for cold cuts.

Speaker 10 (02:23:16):
Cold cuts warm heart. Besides, it goes better with potato
salad the cold cuts.

Speaker 70 (02:23:21):
Of course.

Speaker 31 (02:23:21):
Of course, what are you rubbing your eyes for?

Speaker 10 (02:23:24):
What do you think they it?

Speaker 4 (02:23:26):
Don't you remember I told you to keep a slice
of apple between your teeth when you're peeling onions.

Speaker 10 (02:23:30):
I did, only it tasted so good I ate it
before I got around to the onion.

Speaker 4 (02:23:36):
Clean up the kitchen, of course, say Mama.

Speaker 10 (02:23:40):
Don't see that big chair look better next to the
window instead of next to the radio.

Speaker 31 (02:23:44):
I do not. There'd be no place to sit next
to the radio. Then well, we.

Speaker 10 (02:23:48):
Can move a chair from the other window next to
the radio.

Speaker 4 (02:23:51):
We tried it like that a month before you married, David.
We decided we didn't like it.

Speaker 10 (02:23:56):
Mama. A woman's point of view changes about lots of
things after she gets married. Give me a hand with
the chair, Mama, will you.

Speaker 31 (02:24:03):
It's against my better judgment. Let's not lift.

Speaker 10 (02:24:07):
Let's push ready, one two?

Speaker 17 (02:24:11):
Push?

Speaker 10 (02:24:12):
Oh, that's David. I'll have to open for him. He
doesn't have the key to the new lock yet.

Speaker 4 (02:24:22):
I'm beginning to feel the same way about that door
that he does.

Speaker 18 (02:24:27):
Coming.

Speaker 10 (02:24:30):
Hello, Darling, Hey, what's the matter? Come on in.

Speaker 9 (02:24:34):
I know everything can be explained now. I know that
I don't believe in the supernatural, but this defies all
laws of man, nature and Claudia.

Speaker 4 (02:24:42):
What does David?

Speaker 10 (02:24:44):
Hey, don't just stand there, Come on.

Speaker 31 (02:24:46):
In, Hello, David. What's wrong?

Speaker 9 (02:24:47):
Nothing, missus Brown, nothing at all? Probably just me, David.
You're not sick, not very I don't think I'll just
sit down here in this chair in the middle of
the floor, facing nowhere, in particular, from here. The room
has a slightly raky your parents like a picture I
once saw called after the earthquake.

Speaker 18 (02:25:04):
We were moving it to the window when you're not.

Speaker 9 (02:25:05):
I'm very sorry I interrupted you, but I did want
to get in if you don't much. I had a
perfectly good key, of course, to a brand new lock
that I installed this afternoon while you girls were out.
The perfectly good key to the brand new lock work fined.
I tried it before I left. Then I come home.
The perfectly good key no longer fits the brand new lock, doesn't. No,

(02:25:27):
because the brand new lock no longer looks brand new?
How can there possibly be an explanation?

Speaker 10 (02:25:34):
It's funny, isn't it. We all thought to change the
key today.

Speaker 31 (02:25:37):
I told you The man was right, Claudia.

Speaker 70 (02:25:39):
What man?

Speaker 44 (02:25:39):
Mother?

Speaker 10 (02:25:40):
The man who put in the lock? Mom and I
bought this evening. He said the lock in the door
was a new one. I told him it was crazy.
I told him it was the same one we'd had
for years.

Speaker 14 (02:25:47):
You did huh m hmm.

Speaker 34 (02:25:48):
The man was right.

Speaker 10 (02:25:49):
But it doesn't matter, David. We have another lock in
the door now. It didn't cost much at all, because
is he Mom and I bought a slightly.

Speaker 70 (02:25:56):
Used one mmm uh, slightly you one pre war? And
where does this little bargain come from the.

Speaker 10 (02:26:04):
Little man on the corner, mister Potter.

Speaker 70 (02:26:07):
I think his name was Potter, the little man on
the corner.

Speaker 10 (02:26:10):
David, where are you going?

Speaker 9 (02:26:11):
I've just had a horrible fault, and I'm going to
verify it. It's verified, it's verified. I visited mister Potter
this afternoon. I brought him the lock we had on
this door. I traded it to him for a new one,
So there's no wonder that my old key fits this lock. David,

(02:26:32):
you mean exactly exactly, and you have a distorted sense
of human missus Brown.

Speaker 5 (02:26:37):
I know.

Speaker 10 (02:26:42):
Mama and I brought our old lock back.

Speaker 9 (02:26:45):
Brilliant, my child, exactly, that's what you did.

Speaker 10 (02:26:48):
Oh well, what's the difference? It works now, mister Potter must.

Speaker 31 (02:26:51):
Have fixed it.

Speaker 27 (02:26:52):
Oh of course I know it works because Mom.

Speaker 10 (02:26:54):
And I didn't have any trouble with it, and just
now you didn't know.

Speaker 9 (02:26:57):
But I probably will give me time, Darling.

Speaker 10 (02:27:00):
Besides, I'm kind of glad we've got the old locked back.
It's almost just like a member of the family.

Speaker 27 (02:27:05):
Well, as long as it works.

Speaker 10 (02:27:07):
But if it sticks, just what buy yours back? Come
on in now, David, The coal cuts will be warm.

Speaker 9 (02:27:15):
Well, since we're all safely inside at one time, I'll
shut the door. Besides, you wouldn't want me to kiss
you in front of an open door, would you, Claudia.

(02:27:53):
The story material used in this broadcast of Claudia was
under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney.

(02:28:16):
You've probably noticed that it's much easier to get coca
cola these days, But has it occurred to you to
buy yours.

Speaker 14 (02:28:22):
By the case?

Speaker 55 (02:28:23):
Buying coca cola by the case is really a very
good idea. Your grocer or service station will gladly put
one in your car for you. You get twenty four bottles.
With twenty four bottles in the refrigerator in the pantry,
you're set to take care of a thirsty family and
thirsty friends. Why not ask your grocer or your service
station attendant to put a case of coca cola in

(02:28:45):
your car today? No, no, no, every day Monday through Friday.
Claudia comes to you, transcribed with the best wishes of

(02:29:07):
your friendly neighbor who bottles coca cola. So listen again
tomorrow at the same time, and now this is Joe
King saying au revoir, And remember whoever you are, whatever
you do, wherever you may be. When you think of refreshment,
think of coca cola or ice cold. Coca cola makes

(02:29:28):
any pause, the pause that refreshes.

Speaker 44 (02:29:33):
No.

Speaker 42 (02:29:33):
No, no, no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no

(02:29:56):
no no no no no no no.

Speaker 12 (02:30:16):
And there you have it.

Speaker 7 (02:30:17):
Claudia from seventy eight years ago. October sixth, nineteen forty seven.
You're on Classic Radio Theater with Wyattcox. Visit our web
page at Classic Radio Dot stream and we will see
you tomorrow for our comedy again on Tuesday, Fred Allen,

(02:30:37):
Ossie and Harriet the Who's Your Hotshots and Milson Borough
and Claudia. Thanks for being with us here. We'll see
you tomorrow for more Classic Radio Theater. I'm Wyatcox

All Episodes

Classic Radio 10-06-25 - Ignorance, Werewolves, and the World Series

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 10-06-25 - Ignorance, Werewolves, and the World Series