Classic Radio 11-09-25 - Vitamin Shot, Henry's New Suit, and Charlie Marries Marilyn - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Huspense Shadow, Node Washington calling David Honey, count.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
As my classic radios Theater.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
The Great Eldest Lade, Zipa McGee and Molly Dragonest gun
Alone Ranger.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine.

Speaker 5 (00:31):
It's your host, Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 6 (00:34):
Good evening friend, Vionna Tanto.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
A Sunday pull up comedy with episodes of the Jack
Benny Program, The Aldridge Family, the Edgar Bergen Hour, and
you're going to hear from Luma Abder. That's all coming
up ahead here on this Sunday. This is the ninth
day of November, three hundred and thirteenth day of the year,
fifty two days remaining. Great Boston byer of eighteen seventy

(01:03):
two started on this date in nineteen seventy. Eighteen seventy two,
of course, Teddy rose about the first sitting president of
the US to make an official trip outside the country
in nineteen oh six to invest inspect progress on the
Panama Canal. Albert Einstein awarded the Nobel Prize in physic
for his work with the photoelectric effect in nineteen twenty one.

(01:26):
In nineteen thirty eight, Nazis looted and burned synagogues and
Jewish owned stores and houses in Germany and Austria in
what became known as Kristal Knot years later, this man
recalled the horrors of that night.

Speaker 7 (01:43):
I saw torres grauls with human excrements on it.

Speaker 5 (01:50):
More than ninety Jews killed on this date in nineteen
thirty eight nineteen sixty, Robert McNamara named President of the
Ford Motor Company, the first nh on Forard to serve
in that post, quitting a month later to join the
newly elected John F. Kennedy administration. Neil Armstrong recorded a
world record speed on this date in nineteen sixty one

(02:13):
in a rocket plane, flying six five hundred and eighty
seven kilometers an hour in a next fifteen On this
date in nineteen sixty five, several US states and parts
of Canada hit by a series of blackouts. In the
northeastern US the Blackout of nineteen sixty five. Ike Papus

(02:35):
found some women who set out the blackout in a
New York high rise.

Speaker 8 (02:40):
How did you spend the night up there?

Speaker 9 (02:43):
Talking and playing pots?

Speaker 10 (02:44):
Where were you?

Speaker 11 (02:45):
What floor sixty five?

Speaker 12 (02:46):
Did anyone attempt to walk down?

Speaker 13 (02:48):
I didn't have any parachutes.

Speaker 5 (02:51):
The blackout lasted more than thirteen hours expected thirty million people.
Also on this date, in nineteen sixty five, Catholic worker
member Roger Allen Laporte, protesting against the Vietnam War, set
himself on fire in front of the United Nations Building.
In nineteen eighty nine, communists controlled East Germany opened checkpoints

(03:14):
in the Berlin Wall and allowed citizens to freely travel
to West Germany. People started demolishing the Berlin Wall.

Speaker 14 (03:23):
They're jumping.

Speaker 15 (03:25):
One hundred and fifty.

Speaker 14 (03:29):
Three hundreds are climbing over the metal fence here, making
their way towards the Berlin Wall, crying the wall is down,
the wall is dead.

Speaker 5 (03:42):
Reporter Gordon Ackerman. It was on this date in two
thousand and four that the first version of Mozilla Firefox
was released. It became one of Microsoft Internet Explorer's biggest competitors,
although since that date in two thousand and four, twenty
one years later, Internet Explore was passed by Google Chrome

(04:06):
seventy seven point nine to eighty one point zero percent
across different sources. In that same month of October of
twenty twenty five, Microsoft Edge followed with a share between
four point nine and twelve point three, Apple Safari three
to four percent, Firefox two point twenty five to seven

(04:28):
point two percent. Others collectively account for the remaining percentages.
In North America, Chrome's usage about fifty three point eight percent.
And it's just it's a different landscape. Most people only
use Microsoft Edge to download another browser. That's fact. John

(04:55):
Ashcroft Don Evans resigned their posts as US Attorney General
and six Pretory of Commerce on this date in two
thousand and four. On that same date in two thousand
and four, Halo two, released by Microsoft, the science fiction
action shooter, smashed records, grossing one hundred and twenty five
million dollars in sales on its opening day. In twenty eleven,

(05:18):
Penn State by a longtime football coach, Joe Paterno over
his handling of child sex allegations against his assistant Jerry Sandusky.
Trustee John Serma said the school had no choice.

Speaker 16 (05:31):
Things had reached a point where a change was necessary,
and we thought in the best long term interest of
the university.

Speaker 6 (05:36):
Others are welcome to their own opinion.

Speaker 5 (05:39):
But indeed it was the right thing to do. Twenty twelve,
retired four star Army General David Petraeus resigned as CIA
director after an affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell, revealed
by an FBI investigation. Despite this, President Barack Obama praised
his work.

Speaker 17 (06:00):
I don't portray has had an extraordinary career. He served
this country with great distinction.

Speaker 5 (06:06):
And it was on this date in twenty twenty three
surgeons at NYU lang On Health announced the world's first
whole eye transplant. Passing away on this date in history,
British Prime Minister Nebel Chamberlain, Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, French
President Charles de Gaulle, Attorney General John Mitchell, actor Art Carney,

(06:31):
and it's sad that we most people only know him
for his role as Ed Norton and the Honeymooners, because
he was a great radio actor and a great actor period,
and a fun piano player and a great comic. Sixty
Minutes journalist Ed Bradley passing away on this date as well,
along with race driver businessman Bobby Allison. We look at

(06:56):
birthdays on this date of those who are no longer
with us, and it's led off with King Edward the
seventh of the United Kingdom. Actress Marie dressler, actor ed
Wynn Very funny Man, actress and inventor Heavy Lamar, politician
Sergeant Schreiber, Vice president Spiro Agnew, actress Dorothy Dandridge, and

(07:22):
sexton the poet Tom Fogerty of Creden's clear Water Revival,
and astronomer Carl Sagan.

Speaker 18 (07:30):
We live on a very insignificant world, among many which
circles a humdrum star of the Sun, which is one
of four hundred billion others that make up the Milky
Way Galaxy, which is one of one hundred billion other
galaxies that makes up the universe, which it is now

(07:50):
beginning to look is one of an enormous number, perhaps
an infinite number of other closed off universes.

Speaker 5 (07:57):
Carl Sagan born on this date in history, although folks
have left the building.

Speaker 17 (08:02):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy. It is now time for
the birthday announcements.

Speaker 19 (08:06):
The following people are now officially older than.

Speaker 5 (08:09):
Dirt Doctor Robbins from CSI, Robert David Hall seventy eight today,
Lou Ferigno, the Incredible Hulk on television seventy four. Pro
wrestler Chris Jericho is fifty five years old today.

Speaker 20 (08:27):
But you know what I got a bone to pick, Yeah,
I got a bone to pick with somebody else who
everybody is calling the greatest of all time. Yeah, somebody
who won a little game yesterday by the hair of
his chinny chin chin. Yeah, someone who everybody's calling the goats. Well,
you know what happens when you steal Chris Jericho's nickname.

Speaker 21 (08:57):
You know what happens when you call yourself the.

Speaker 11 (09:00):
Just of all time and you're not me.

Speaker 21 (09:07):
You know what happens. Tom Brady didn't just make a last.

Speaker 5 (09:25):
Even at fifty five. Chris Jericho is a good wrestler,
but one of the things he has always been able
to do over the years is that he has reinvented
himself every time he came back in the WWE, he
reinvented himself a couple of times. In other wrestling promotions,
he reinvented himself. Aw where he's currently signed, he reinvented

(09:50):
himself a couple of times. He's done a good job
for the years. Chris Jericho fifty five years old today.
Doctor mcstemy on Gray's Anatomy. Eric Dane fifty three from
Drew Hill, Singer Cisco Is forty seven, Nicholas Chay's wife,

(10:10):
who also celebrates his fifty second birthday today. The former
Miss teen USA Filipino American and was from Ncnasy Vanessa
Lea Shay is forty five, from the two thousand and
seven Hairspray, Nicki Blonski is thirty seven, and WWE's Pete

(10:34):
Dunn from England is thirty two today. Those just a
few of the people celebrating the ninth day of November
is their birthday. If this is your birthday.

Speaker 11 (10:46):
We baked you our birthday. K.

Speaker 22 (10:49):
If you get to may A and you moan and
grown and low.

Speaker 11 (10:54):
Don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 23 (10:59):
Mccawish there and blow out the candles.

Speaker 9 (11:02):
There they go.

Speaker 5 (11:06):
Well, and we're gonna start by going back to a Sunday,
November ninth, nineteen fifty two, seventy three years ago today,
and we're gonna hear from Jack Benny. That's coming up
next here after I tell you that if you ever
get digestive issues, if you deal with chronic digestive issues, particularly,

(11:31):
could you check out Doctor Bee's digestive aid. It uses
two particular ingredients. Just two ingredients is all it uses.
It uses natural honey and apitheria and the two of
them will work together to give you soothing support and
you will find if you go to doctorbprofbees dot com.

(11:55):
That's profbees dot com, check out all the information is.
I'm not gonna spend the time here telling you. I'm
just gonna tell you this is something that's neat and
it works and you will feel better. So check out
profbees dot com. Or you can click the link in
the show notes, or you can go to Classic Radio
dot stream, any of those places, click on the information,

(12:17):
and then once you've clicked on the information, use my
promo code yat wya t T. That'll do two things.
Number one, it'll show that we sent you there and
thus we'll get a commission for referring you. But number two,
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(12:38):
profbees dot com, profbees dot com. There is a money
back guarantee, so check it all out. You got nothing
to lose but that persistent belly eate. Now Jack Benny
follows these messages.

Speaker 24 (12:58):
Every family should have a whole shelter area. Every family
should stock that shelter area with a two week supply
of food and water. Prepare now to survive disaster.

Speaker 5 (13:08):
Now on Classic Radio Theater with Wifecox, we go back
to Sunday, November ninth, nineteen fifty two, seven o'clock Eastern
Time for an episode of the Jack Benny Program as
Jack goes to the doctor.

Speaker 12 (13:21):
The Jack Belly Program transcribed, I'm presented by Lucky Strike,
the cigarette that's toasted to taste better.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
If you want then it a taste from your cigar rest.

Speaker 25 (13:35):
Lucky Stake is the brand to guess.

Speaker 23 (13:38):
It's toasted to give you the best taste.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yet it's the toasted sag red they take fine tobacco
is lighter tobacco, is mild tobacco too. And it's toasted. Yes,
it's toasted because the toasting brings the flavor right through.
So to get bad to taste from your see good rest,

(14:04):
Lucky Strike is the brand you'll get. It's toasted to
give you the best taste.

Speaker 23 (14:10):
Yet give the toast taste see good red.

Speaker 17 (14:15):
Friends. This is Don Wilson. There's no doubt about it.

Speaker 12 (14:19):
If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike
is the brand to get.

Speaker 17 (14:23):
It's toasted to taste better.

Speaker 12 (14:26):
Naturally Lucky's Better Taste begins just where you'd expect it
to begin with fine tobacco ls mft Lucky Strike means
fine tobacco, and then that tobacco is toasted. It's toasted.
The famous Lucky Strike process tones up Lucky's naturally good
tasting tobacco to make it taste even better, cleaner, fresher, smoother.

(14:49):
So next time, get better taste, get Lucky Strike.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
If you want bad to taste from your see.

Speaker 25 (14:57):
Good Red Lucky.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Give the brand who guess it's toasted to give you
the best taste.

Speaker 22 (15:05):
Yes, Yes, to toast it.

Speaker 12 (15:07):
See the Luckiest Trick program starring Jack Benny with Mary
levingson Rochester Dynas Day by Crosby and Yours truly Don Wilson.

(15:39):
Ladies and gentlemen, Let's go back to yesterday. A half
hour before rehearsal, Jack has dropped in at the corner
drug store and at the moment we find him sitting
at the counter reading a newspaper.

Speaker 26 (15:50):
Hmmm, here's an interesting item. According to a national survey,
in twenty years, California will be the number one stage.
Los Angeles will be the numberumber one city. This anticipation
of industrial growth has made the city of Los Angele's
very smug. But with the way they spell smug smog, No, no,

(16:18):
they did spell it smug. What what makes my eyes
water like that?

Speaker 10 (16:29):
Anyway? I think it's wonderful that.

Speaker 27 (16:31):
Do you wanna order now?

Speaker 10 (16:40):
Huh?

Speaker 13 (16:40):
You've been sitting on that stool for ten minutes.

Speaker 10 (16:43):
Well, I'm waiting for someone.

Speaker 27 (16:45):
Well, don't ragle up that newspaper or we'll never be
able to sell it.

Speaker 26 (16:52):
I won't, I won't. I wonder how Hm. Here's an
article that's hard to believe. A famous scientist claims that
it won't be long before people will be living on
the moon.

Speaker 10 (17:05):
Hey, that gives me an idea for a joke for
my radio program.

Speaker 26 (17:10):
If people live on the moon, prices will be sky high.
Hey that's a good joke. I better write it down. Say, miss,

(17:33):
do you have a pencil?

Speaker 27 (17:34):
I heard it.

Speaker 22 (17:35):
Don't bother.

Speaker 26 (17:40):
I didn't ask for an opinion. I've been a big
radio star for twenty years. I when it comes to jokes,
I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 25 (17:46):
Look, I've got other customers.

Speaker 22 (17:47):
Do you want to order now?

Speaker 10 (17:49):
I told you I'm waiting for someone.

Speaker 27 (17:51):
If you're trying to make me jealous. Forget it.

Speaker 26 (17:58):
I'm not trying to make it. And anyway, a fine
waitress you are. I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes.
You didn't even bring me a glass of water.

Speaker 27 (18:06):
Okay, okay, I think she's smart.

Speaker 26 (18:12):
I didn't like her when she was a brunette. I
don't know why she always has to pick on me. Oh, Bob, bye,
Bob Crosby, I've been waiting for you. Sit down, Well,
thank you.

Speaker 22 (18:28):
Do you want to order now?

Speaker 28 (18:30):
Oh?

Speaker 26 (18:30):
Yeah, yeah, Now look miss, I'll have a club sandwich,
and here's the way I want it made.

Speaker 10 (18:39):
I want it on.

Speaker 26 (18:39):
White bread, slightly toasted. I want the bacon and tomato
in the lower half, and the chicken and the lettuce
in the upper half. Trim the crust, cut it in
three parts, and put a slice of pickle on the top.

Speaker 27 (18:52):
Okay, one club sandwich for an architect.

Speaker 10 (19:09):
Why what about you, Bob Jack?

Speaker 9 (19:13):
I don't know.

Speaker 10 (19:14):
I'm not too hungry right now.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
But well then again, oh miss, yeah, is it all
right if I take something out?

Speaker 27 (19:21):
Are you kidding?

Speaker 22 (19:22):
I'll go get my hat and coat.

Speaker 26 (19:32):
He didn't mean that, look, Bob. While they're deciding on
what you want. I went over the drug counter to
get some razor blades.

Speaker 9 (19:39):
Okay, Jack, and.

Speaker 10 (19:42):
Let me see.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Maybe I should eat something here then I wouldn't be
so hung Oh, Bob.

Speaker 17 (19:46):
Well, Mary, sit down.

Speaker 13 (19:48):
I thought Jack was here.

Speaker 17 (19:49):
Oh he is.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
He went over the drug countor to buy some razor blades.
What are you laughing at?

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Mary?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Jack is the only man I know who has a
single edge razor and buys double edge blades.

Speaker 17 (20:05):
What does he do that for?

Speaker 13 (20:06):
He cuts him in half?

Speaker 29 (20:12):
I want a guy.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Huh, I heard the Jack is the only man in
the world who gets his dental flows retreaded.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Jack does have his peculiarities, but he is sweet and
he tries so hard.

Speaker 13 (20:26):
I'll never forget the first time I went out with him.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
When he called for me, I opened the door and
there he stood with the biggest orchid I ever saw.
An arcid huh, it was so beautiful. I made him
buy me one too. Oh, don't tell him, I told you,
marry Bob.

Speaker 9 (20:44):
Where's Jack?

Speaker 27 (20:45):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (20:45):
Don hi, donzee, where's Jack? The Sportsman Quartet and I
are looking for him.

Speaker 9 (20:49):
Oh he's here.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
He just stepped over there to buy some razor blades.

Speaker 13 (20:52):
Oh, here he comes.

Speaker 12 (20:53):
Now wow, Well everybody's here, Jack the Sportsman, I've been
waiting for you at the studio.

Speaker 17 (20:58):
You knew they had a recording date.

Speaker 10 (21:00):
Oh yes, I forgot down.

Speaker 26 (21:01):
I know they're in a hurry, So let's go back
to the studio and I'll hear the commercial before they go.

Speaker 10 (21:06):
But Jack, they haven't got the time.

Speaker 9 (21:07):
I haven't eaten yet.

Speaker 17 (21:08):
And they're hungry.

Speaker 10 (21:09):
Well you have boys, but done. I've got to hear
the commercial.

Speaker 22 (21:12):
Boys, I haven't got all day.

Speaker 10 (21:14):
Okay, fellows, let Jack hear the commercial.

Speaker 26 (21:16):
Don I can hear a drug store, fellows where you
have oh.

Speaker 11 (21:25):
Bah, watching.

Speaker 30 (21:29):
Both of people the winna you kissing me and I'm
a kissing you watching the baby.

Speaker 10 (21:40):
Oh yes, I see the baby.

Speaker 11 (21:42):
You speak of me and I'm a speezing you.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
Ja la la.

Speaker 11 (21:48):
Word like the guy GoF this silly song.

Speaker 31 (21:53):
Wonder if they realize that baby say the most anymore?
You're like, don't forget to end? They lock you tack

(22:14):
a cigarette for me and up better take you to.

Speaker 32 (22:19):
Your pop and we know you'll say, hey, lock strick
if you're looking the home right away.

Speaker 10 (23:13):
I hated a sneak out like that, and leave.

Speaker 26 (23:15):
Bob and Mary in the drug store, and when that
dame started screaming it was embarrassing. Well, I might as
well go in the studio on rehearse.

Speaker 10 (23:27):
Hello, mister Benny. Hello, Harry, any fan mail? Yes, mister Benny,
you've got eight thousand.

Speaker 26 (23:33):
Letters, Harry, I'm alone nothing.

Speaker 10 (23:47):
M bought me and bought you. You botch votch batch
me and bought one. Yeah, that isn't all. I'm mad
about it.

Speaker 11 (23:56):
I got plenty to say to you.

Speaker 10 (23:58):
M there's Dennis talking on that phone booth.

Speaker 22 (24:01):
Yeah, plenty. I've taken all the guff out of you.

Speaker 10 (24:03):
I'm gonna take Hey, that kid's really mad. Oh no,
you listen to me.

Speaker 11 (24:08):
I've listened to you long enough.

Speaker 33 (24:09):
As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but a low,
underhanded double dealing conniver.

Speaker 10 (24:13):
Wow.

Speaker 33 (24:14):
Oh, I know you put it over on me, but
I'm gonna see through it. You don't take advantage of
anybody else. You heard me, Shut up, Dennis. Hold mister Benny,
excuse me a minute. Operate to mister Bennie's standing right here.

Speaker 10 (24:37):
You must have given me the wrong number. Dennis. Hang
up that receiver and come out of that booth.

Speaker 26 (24:52):
Yes, sir, Dennis, anytime you have something to say to me,
I want you to say to my face, not on
the phone, and anyway. I don't know what you're complaining about.
I've treated you well. I've looked out for your interests.
I've guided you, I've helped you, I've given you advice. Why,
I've even tried to be a father to you only
on Father's Day.

Speaker 25 (25:10):
What you'll do for a lousy tie?

Speaker 10 (25:14):
Never mind?

Speaker 26 (25:15):
Now, Dennis, when we get in the studio, I want
you to run over your song first.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh Jack, Jack, Yeah, Jack, I've got to tell you
the most wonderful thing. Oh Mary, Now, Bob, don't be
so modest?

Speaker 17 (25:27):
What is it?

Speaker 15 (25:28):
Mary?

Speaker 34 (25:28):
Jack?

Speaker 25 (25:29):
And look at that sack of fan mail he got.

Speaker 10 (25:32):
I see it, I see it.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
I even got a letter from your sister in Chicago.
Come on, let's get in the studio.

Speaker 26 (25:45):
Okay, fellas, okay, quiet down, Quiet down, We're gonna start rehearsal.

Speaker 10 (25:50):
Dennis, have you got your music to Dennis? Where are
you going back to the phone booth?

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Why?

Speaker 33 (25:54):
See, if I can get another wrong number, I'm gonna
fight mood.

Speaker 10 (25:59):
I'll cut that out. Let me hear that clock on
the wall. Is that the right time.

Speaker 13 (26:03):
Yes, it's one thirty.

Speaker 26 (26:04):
Why well, I for heaven second, I thought i'd have
time to finish rehearsal before I go to my doctor's office.

Speaker 13 (26:11):
What do you have to go to your doctors for?

Speaker 2 (26:13):
Well?

Speaker 26 (26:13):
I had to check up a few days ago and
everything is fine, but I want to see my X
ray pictures and the doctor wants to give me a
couple of vitamin shots.

Speaker 10 (26:20):
It'll only take a little while.

Speaker 13 (26:21):
Will you want me to drive you over?

Speaker 10 (26:22):
Well, Rochester has the car in the parking lot, so
he'll drive me down.

Speaker 25 (26:25):
Okay, I'll go with you.

Speaker 26 (26:26):
Well, thanks Mary Dannis, you rehearse your song. We'll be
back soon.

Speaker 10 (26:41):
Here we sit enjoy in the.

Speaker 12 (26:43):
Shade, Hey brother, poor the wine.

Speaker 35 (26:45):
Drink the drink that I have made, Hey brother, poor
the wine.

Speaker 10 (26:49):
Tell you why the day you saw me?

Speaker 22 (26:51):
I'm in love with LIFs of hunt me waiting.

Speaker 35 (26:53):
You see the way she walks, Hey brother, poor the white.
She is coming here to stay, Hey brother, for the wife.
I have waited for the day.

Speaker 10 (27:10):
Hey brother, for the wife.

Speaker 33 (27:12):
She writes of love and every letter rather than tried.

Speaker 10 (27:15):
But I will get her.

Speaker 15 (27:16):
Wait.

Speaker 10 (27:16):
You see the way she walks, Hey brother, for the wife.

Speaker 22 (27:21):
What is life?

Speaker 15 (27:23):
What is fring?

Speaker 36 (27:25):
What are all the scar?

Speaker 10 (27:28):
Child?

Speaker 34 (27:29):
Love?

Speaker 37 (27:29):
My friend is everything and law will soon be all.

Speaker 10 (27:39):
For as quickly as.

Speaker 35 (27:40):
You can, Hey brother for the wife, or quickly once again.

Speaker 10 (27:44):
Hey brother for the wife. She's here and laughs, my
one and only good. My friends, don't be lonely.

Speaker 15 (27:50):
Wait.

Speaker 10 (27:50):
You see the way she walks, Hey brother for.

Speaker 38 (27:53):
The wife, bling your eyes, and Laha has passed? Hey
brother or the wine?

Speaker 37 (28:16):
Hers was never man for last hey brother or the
wine she introduced me to? And no, my friends, he's
not he. I will miss where she walks, Hey.

Speaker 39 (28:44):
Brother for the light, ordy, quickly as you can, pay
brother for the light, or quickly once again, hey brother for.

Speaker 8 (28:56):
The light, for the light, for the light, Hey brother,

(29:22):
are you and miss lives un comfortable back there?

Speaker 36 (29:24):
Boss?

Speaker 10 (29:24):
Yes, thank you for Rochester.

Speaker 26 (29:26):
The back seat seems to be higher than usual, and
we keep sliding forward.

Speaker 10 (29:30):
Why is that?

Speaker 9 (29:31):
Well?

Speaker 40 (29:32):
I put some big truck tires on the rear wheels
and small.

Speaker 9 (29:35):
Tires on the front wheels.

Speaker 10 (29:37):
What's that for?

Speaker 40 (29:37):
We encourage the motor thinks we're coasting downhill.

Speaker 26 (29:46):
LA's the silliest thing I ever heard. You're always trying
to fool the.

Speaker 40 (29:49):
More well, Boss, last winter, you're the one who put
on fishtail fenders so people would think you had a
Cadillac Jay.

Speaker 25 (29:57):
Did you really put on fishtail fenders?

Speaker 17 (30:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 25 (30:00):
Did a fool anybody?

Speaker 41 (30:01):
No?

Speaker 26 (30:02):
People all stop making things up and hurry. I want
to get to the doctor's office. Rochester slowed down. The
light on the corner is turning red.

Speaker 9 (30:14):
Don't worry by the time we reach it.

Speaker 26 (30:19):
Anyway, we turn here for my doctor's office. Yes, sir,
you know Mary, I've been thinking. It seems that every
time I go to a doctor or a hospital for
a checkup or an examination, you're always with me.

Speaker 10 (30:32):
Chis off me.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
N see, it's not a matter of being nice, Jack.
I have to be with you when you go for
medical examination.

Speaker 10 (30:38):
Case you need me needs you?

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, you ever got that transfusion clause in my contract?
I'll never know.

Speaker 26 (30:50):
My agent thinks of everything. And anyway, this time, I'm
only going to get a vitamin shot.

Speaker 10 (31:00):
Thank you, Rochester. Watch your step, Mary, Oh, mister belly.

Speaker 40 (31:05):
While you're in the doctor's orbice, I'll go to the
market and do the shopping.

Speaker 10 (31:08):
Oh fine, fine, I made.

Speaker 40 (31:09):
Out the list of the groceries amount to seventeen dollars.

Speaker 10 (31:13):
Seventeen dollars here you are, and a dollar and a
half for a hair hout. A dollar and a half.

Speaker 26 (31:20):
Wait a minute, Rochester, I'm not supposed to pay for
your haircuts.

Speaker 40 (31:23):
This was for you I got in the glove compartment.

Speaker 26 (31:34):
Well, I'll take care of it myself tomorrow. I want
to get a shine at the same time.

Speaker 40 (31:38):
I can get that for you too. I'm wearing your shoes.

Speaker 26 (31:42):
Never mind, I'll do it myself. Come on Mary, Yes, oh, nurse,
I have an appointment with doctor Stephens.

Speaker 41 (31:57):
Yes, sir, in just a few minutes. But first I'll
have to have some information about you.

Speaker 26 (32:01):
Well, they have it at the hospital. They took it
when I went in for my checkup.

Speaker 13 (32:04):
Well, we need this for the office.

Speaker 10 (32:06):
Oh well, my name.

Speaker 41 (32:09):
Just a second, sir, I have to write this down.
I want to get a pencil there. Now.

Speaker 10 (32:14):
Your name Jack Benny, occupation radio comedian.

Speaker 22 (32:20):
Are you currently employed?

Speaker 10 (32:26):
Yes, yes, I am. How tall are you five eleven?
Your weight one sixty five?

Speaker 26 (32:32):
Your age thirty nine?

Speaker 10 (32:36):
Thirty nine?

Speaker 25 (32:37):
Now, mister Benny, have you just a minute, nurse.

Speaker 26 (32:40):
I happen to notice on your desk you have another
chart in the age is also Mark thirty nine.

Speaker 10 (32:44):
Yes, whose chart is that?

Speaker 13 (32:46):
Grandma Moses?

Speaker 41 (32:54):
Oh now Grandpa, I mean mister Benny.

Speaker 10 (33:00):
Where were we look? Nurse?

Speaker 26 (33:02):
I haven't got much time. I want to see doctor Stephens.

Speaker 41 (33:04):
Well he's busy. Now you'll have to wait. Sit over
there by that gentleman in the corner.

Speaker 10 (33:09):
Oh is his appointment ahead of mine?

Speaker 36 (33:11):
Oh?

Speaker 41 (33:11):
He's not waiting to see doctor Stephens. He has an
appointment with our psychiatrist.

Speaker 10 (33:16):
Psychiatrist. He isn't violent, is he?

Speaker 34 (33:20):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (33:21):
Far from it?

Speaker 13 (33:21):
In fact, he's very gentle. He thinks he's a rabbit.

Speaker 10 (33:27):
Come on, Mary, let's sit down. Jack.

Speaker 13 (33:29):
What are you so mad about.

Speaker 26 (33:30):
It's a smart alec nurse trying to kid me a rabbit.

Speaker 10 (33:34):
Man looks just as normal as I do.

Speaker 5 (33:36):
Jack.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
There is a room for both of us to sit
on the sofa.

Speaker 26 (33:39):
Yes, there is, Mary, I'll ask him to move over.
Pardon me, sir, e.

Speaker 42 (33:45):
What's you.

Speaker 43 (33:55):
Say?

Speaker 10 (33:57):
You really do think you're a rabbit?

Speaker 25 (34:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (34:02):
Where do you live?

Speaker 44 (34:03):
I have a nice little hutch and Brentwood.

Speaker 10 (34:08):
Larry move over. Uh tell me, mister, did you always
think you were a rabbit?

Speaker 44 (34:13):
No? No, up until last week I told I was
a turkey.

Speaker 10 (34:18):
Up until last week. What made you stop being a turkey?

Speaker 44 (34:21):
Well, it's so close to Thanksgiving. They toined me down
for life insurance. Oh I want a double indemnity, I
see with cranberry choice.

Speaker 10 (34:36):
Well that's the only way to have it anyway. Maybe
you're better off being a rabbit.

Speaker 44 (34:42):
Yeah, well, I can't wait any longer for that psychiatrist.
Why that.

Speaker 26 (34:55):
All the silly guys thinking he's a rabbit? Some people?

Speaker 41 (35:01):
Yes, doctor, Oh very well, sir, I'll send to the
next patient. It's mister Benny. Why no, it's Benny. Bunny
just laughed. Yes, sir, go ride in, mister Benny. Doctor
Nelson will.

Speaker 26 (35:20):
See you now, doctor Nelson. But doctor Stevens is my doctor.

Speaker 41 (35:24):
Well he's in surgery now, so doctor Nelson will take
care of you.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Uh.

Speaker 10 (35:28):
Where's his office, right down the hall. Thank you.

Speaker 26 (35:30):
I'll be right back. Mary h Room, Huh.

Speaker 22 (35:40):
I remember me?

Speaker 26 (35:42):
Oh yes, yeah, you're the fellow from Calabasa's What are
you doing here?

Speaker 10 (35:46):
I brought my wife to the doctor.

Speaker 45 (35:47):
She's gonna have a baby.

Speaker 10 (35:50):
A baby. Say, how many kids have you got?

Speaker 18 (35:52):
Now?

Speaker 45 (35:52):
This will be the sixteen.

Speaker 10 (35:55):
Gosh, sixteen kids? What are the names.

Speaker 45 (35:58):
Well, there's Albert, Tirem, Julius, Katherine Jennette, Bertram Herman, blue Cross. Howard,
Well you you named one of your children blue Cross. Yeah,
my wife's been in the hospital so much we felt
we owed them something.

Speaker 26 (36:17):
Say it was such a large family. You must have
a pretty big farm, one.

Speaker 45 (36:21):
Of the biggest in Calabasas.

Speaker 10 (36:24):
What are you raised there, Albert?

Speaker 26 (36:35):
I mean besides them, I mean what kind of crop
do you grow on your farm?

Speaker 45 (36:39):
Well, the whole place is a big vineyard. We grow
nothing but grapes.

Speaker 10 (36:44):
Grapes.

Speaker 22 (36:44):
That's right, Rube.

Speaker 29 (36:46):
I press my own wine too.

Speaker 25 (36:48):
Got the happiest feet in Tarlet.

Speaker 45 (36:55):
Well, better me getting back in the waiting room, Salon Rube.

Speaker 26 (37:08):
Sometime I must ask him why he keeps calling me rude.
Oh here doctor Nelson's office, and oh doctor, doctor.

Speaker 10 (37:27):
Doctor, I'm Jack Benny. I was told to see you.
Why did they always come to me at the last minute? Now, look,
I came here to have a vitamin shot. Give it
to me so I can go.

Speaker 46 (37:40):
Yes, now, just a minute, I want to test my
hypodemic to see that the needle is and stopped up.

Speaker 15 (37:54):
No, I'm leading for you.

Speaker 10 (37:55):
Wait a minute.

Speaker 26 (37:56):
Doctor, you're not going to give me a shot with
that needle. Why have you got such a big one?

Speaker 10 (38:00):
Anyway, Well, I'm nearsighted and I don't want a mill.

Speaker 26 (38:05):
Now guess a second, doctor, will stop.

Speaker 10 (38:07):
Being such a baby.

Speaker 22 (38:08):
You'll roll up your sleep and I'll give you the shot.

Speaker 17 (38:11):
It won't hurt a bit.

Speaker 9 (38:11):
I promise.

Speaker 10 (38:13):
Well, all right, there, my sleeves up.

Speaker 22 (38:16):
Okay, here you go.

Speaker 10 (38:19):
There you are.

Speaker 26 (38:21):
Oh doctor, it did hurt when you but wait a minute.

Speaker 10 (38:28):
I do feel better already.

Speaker 26 (38:30):
Say doctor, what vitamins did you inject me with?

Speaker 10 (38:32):
D O f r b d O f r b.
What's that?

Speaker 22 (38:36):
That's old fashioned root beer?

Speaker 34 (38:46):
What?

Speaker 22 (38:47):
I'm sorry it hurt, but the ice cream got stuck
in the.

Speaker 45 (38:50):
New What's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard?

Speaker 10 (38:53):
I'll come back tomorrow on my regular doctor trains.

Speaker 12 (39:05):
The epidemic of forest fires throughout the country points up
this sobering fact. Because most areas of the countries haven't
had a soaking rain for many weeks, the fire hazard
is still tremendous. Remember, our woodlands are more than scenic playgrounds.
They're valuable natural resources, indispensable to our nation's defense. Saw
the extra careful out of doors with fire in any form.

(39:27):
Drown or crush out every spark, for only you can
prevent forest fires.

Speaker 17 (39:32):
Thank you.

Speaker 12 (39:42):
Jack will be back in just a minute, But first
a word to you smokers who are looking for better
taste in a cigarette.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
If you want them it to taste from your see
good rest. Lucky Sjake is the brand who guess it's toasted,
give you the best taste. Yes, it's the toastin see
red They tat fine tobacco is light tobacco, is mild
tobacco too, Can it's toasted. Yes, it's toasting because the

(40:17):
toasting brings the flavor right through. So to get there
to taste from you, see good rest, Lucky Strike is
the brand to get it's toasted, to give you the
best taste yet gives the toasted serett.

Speaker 12 (40:35):
Friends, if you read the comics, I guess you know
all about Little Iodye. The fellow who draws Little Iodye
and is the famous cartoonist Jimmy hatlow He's got another
comic strip too, called They'll do it every time. Well,
Jimmy Hatlowe's cigarette is Lucky Strike, Jimmy says, yep. I'll
do it every time. Light up a Lucky because they

(40:55):
taste better. Friends, Many millions of people smoke Luckies because
they've found that Luckies taste better too. A Lucky taste
better because it's toasted to taste better. Of course, Lucky's
better taste begins with fine tobacco, fine light, naturally mild tobacco,
and then that fine tobacco is toasted.

Speaker 17 (41:16):
It's toasted.

Speaker 12 (41:17):
The famous Lucky strike process brings Lucky's naturally mild, good
tasting tobacco to its peak of flavor, tones it up
to make it taste even better.

Speaker 17 (41:26):
Cleaner, fresher, smoother.

Speaker 12 (41:29):
Yes, that's why Jimmy Haflow and millions of other smokers
will do it every time. Light up a Lucky. Why
don't you light up a Lucky too? Remember it's toasted
to taste better.

Speaker 10 (41:47):
You get all your shopping down Rochester?

Speaker 40 (41:49):
Yes, boss, how'd you make all the doctors?

Speaker 28 (41:51):
Oh?

Speaker 10 (41:51):
Fine, fine Rochester. Maybe on the way home.

Speaker 26 (41:54):
We said, loosh out, gee, gee fella, I'm sorry we
ran into you.

Speaker 9 (42:03):
Are you hurt? No?

Speaker 44 (42:04):
But you're not the carrat out of my hand? What
slong act?

Speaker 29 (42:11):
The Night Poll.

Speaker 12 (42:15):
Jack Benny program was written by Sam Parron Milk, Joseph Berg,
George Baltzer, John Packerberry, Al Gordon, Al Goldman, and produced
and transcribed by Hilliard Mark. The Jack Benny Program is
brought to you by Lucky Strike, a lodic of the
American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
You got a lot It seventy three years ago, November ninth,
nineteen fifty two. Jack Benny here on Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt tugs up next Bobby Ellis as Henry Aldrich
in The Aldridge Family.

Speaker 16 (43:10):
During a national emergency, you may have to be your
own fireman. Take the first step now remove all fire
hazards in your home. Eliminate clutter, star flammables in a
safe place.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
On this Sunday, Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox. We
continue now with an episode of The Aldridge Family starring
Bobby Ellis from the final season of the program, seven
thirty Eastern Time on AB Excuse Me, NBC, November ninth,
nineteen fifty two.

Speaker 22 (43:46):
Henry, Henry or Rich coming mother. Yeah.

Speaker 47 (43:54):
Since the Aldridge Familiers plans Trive written by Clifford Goldsmith.
As every grown up knows, a typical teenage boy never
has to go looking for interesting problems to solve.

Speaker 9 (44:17):
The problems come looking.

Speaker 47 (44:18):
For the boy, and you can be sure that a
new and startling one pops up every day, especially for
Henry Aldridge. The scene opens in the Alridge living room.
The time is evening.

Speaker 22 (44:30):
Mother, could you look at it this way?

Speaker 48 (44:32):
I'm sorry, Henry, but I don't want to discuss it anymore.

Speaker 22 (44:36):
Mother, don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to discuss it.
I just want to ask.

Speaker 13 (44:40):
You, Henry.

Speaker 48 (44:41):
Missus Brown came over here to visit with me, not
to listen to us argue about whether you should have
a new suit.

Speaker 22 (44:47):
Oh excuse me, Missus Brown.

Speaker 49 (44:48):
That's all right, Henry. It's nice to see you take
an interest in clothes.

Speaker 22 (44:52):
Sure, Mother, if you thought of it this way, you've
gotta buy me a new suit sometime. Why not get
one tomorrow and get a little.

Speaker 13 (45:00):
Ware out of it, Henry.

Speaker 48 (45:02):
I think it's time for you to go to bed
without a without a Henry.

Speaker 22 (45:07):
Yes, Mother, good night, good night, good night, Missus Brown.

Speaker 13 (45:10):
Good night, Henry.

Speaker 22 (45:11):
I hope you'll find the way my bath robe hangs
in the back.

Speaker 49 (45:14):
Yes, dear Alice, I didn't want to say anything about it.
Henry was here, But would you mind if I suggest something?

Speaker 13 (45:22):
Not at all?

Speaker 49 (45:23):
It's only because I know you don't want to buy
anything that isn't absolutely necessary. But Homer has a new
suit I think would fit Henry.

Speaker 13 (45:31):
Really, he put it.

Speaker 49 (45:32):
On just once, and Alice, believe it or not, it's
been hanging in the closet ever since.

Speaker 13 (45:36):
My goodness, Elizabeth.

Speaker 49 (45:38):
And it's a good suit. Dallas, Homer's uncle said it
to him only the other day.

Speaker 13 (45:41):
You don't say yes.

Speaker 49 (45:43):
And he's an awfully good dresser. He sells things all
over the country. And the sue Dallas, Well, when you
first see it, you might say, well, yes, but when
you stand off at a distance, dear the chicks there,
they're brown with a sort of orange stripe in the background,
and well, the checks all seem to blend right in.

Speaker 13 (46:03):
And Homer refused to wear it.

Speaker 49 (46:05):
Is but he doesn't care a thing about clothes, You
know how Homer is. Oh, sometimes I think he doesn't
care about anything. Now I wouldn't say the Oh, Alice,
you just don't know. Well, I said to him. I said, Homer,
that suit will make people stop and look at you.
And Alice he acted just the way he does about
broccoli and salad.

Speaker 22 (46:25):
Mother, Yes, Henry, did you know that the government expects
a wool shortage before spring?

Speaker 13 (46:31):
Dear, I want you to get right into bed.

Speaker 22 (46:34):
Yes, Mother, wellly, don't you think we should take advice
from our own government?

Speaker 48 (46:38):
Good night, Dear Elizabeth. Are you positive you wouldn't mind
Henry having that suit?

Speaker 13 (46:43):
Alice?

Speaker 23 (46:43):
I think it will teach Homer a lesson.

Speaker 49 (46:46):
And if you want doing anything now, why don't we
walk over to my house and get the suit. That's
a wonderful idea.

Speaker 48 (46:52):
I'll put it on the chair beside Henry's bed in
the morning and surprise him.

Speaker 9 (47:07):
Good breakfast, Alis, good breakfast.

Speaker 13 (47:09):
And you're not leaving for the office this early, are
you sorry?

Speaker 9 (47:12):
Goodbye?

Speaker 13 (47:12):
Goodbye?

Speaker 9 (47:13):
Dear, Tell Henry, I'm sorry I didn't see him before
he came down.

Speaker 48 (47:15):
I will Mother, Yes, Mary, Henry, he'll be down in
just a few minutes.

Speaker 13 (47:21):
Dear, he's in the bathroom washing.

Speaker 48 (47:22):
Oh, and Mary, while he's in there, I want you
to take this up to his room so he doesn't
see you, and lay it on his chair.

Speaker 13 (47:29):
This mother, Yes, Mary, I just finished pressing it. Oh,
what are.

Speaker 27 (47:32):
You going to do cover his chair with it?

Speaker 13 (47:35):
What do you mean Covery's chair?

Speaker 27 (47:38):
Well, isn't it a slip cover or something?

Speaker 13 (47:41):
Now, Mary, that's a perfectly good suit.

Speaker 27 (47:44):
Mother, you mean Henry has to wear that?

Speaker 13 (47:46):
Where did you get it? Dear? Missus Brown gave it
to Henry?

Speaker 48 (47:50):
And the only reason you don't care for it is
because it's folded and you're standing too close to it.

Speaker 27 (47:56):
But mother, you can see these checks a block away.

Speaker 22 (48:00):
Now, do you please take it upstairs?

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yes, Mother, I just hold Henry doesn't find out that
I had anything to do with now, Mary.

Speaker 11 (48:07):
Wine, Missus Aldridge, is Henry ready for school?

Speaker 9 (48:09):
Why?

Speaker 13 (48:10):
Good morning, Homer? Aren't you just a bit early?

Speaker 9 (48:13):
Boy?

Speaker 50 (48:13):
I'll say I wanted to get out of the house
before I was afraid my mother might make me wear
a good morning?

Speaker 48 (48:19):
Well, Homer, I'm afraid it's gonna be sometime before Henry
gets down, And dear, you don't want to be late,
do you?

Speaker 22 (48:26):
Bottom line? Waiting?

Speaker 9 (48:27):
Oh?

Speaker 22 (48:28):
Has he had his breakfast yet?

Speaker 28 (48:30):
No?

Speaker 11 (48:30):
Homer?

Speaker 22 (48:31):
Are you having hotcakes?

Speaker 9 (48:33):
Mother?

Speaker 22 (48:34):
Yes?

Speaker 51 (48:34):
Henry?

Speaker 22 (48:35):
What's this thing up here?

Speaker 9 (48:38):
What day?

Speaker 22 (48:39):
This thing on my chair?

Speaker 34 (48:41):
Why?

Speaker 9 (48:41):
Henry?

Speaker 22 (48:42):
That's for you?

Speaker 52 (48:43):
For me?

Speaker 2 (48:45):
This?

Speaker 13 (48:46):
Yes, you asked for one.

Speaker 22 (48:47):
Didn't you why I asked for a rug, Henry. If
you'll unfold it, you'll see it is not a rug.
For what is it missus Aldridge? Well?

Speaker 11 (48:59):
Gee, wh just put it on there?

Speaker 22 (49:01):
What she got, missus Orridge? What she got?

Speaker 13 (49:03):
What's that?

Speaker 6 (49:04):
Homer?

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Mother?

Speaker 22 (49:05):
I don't mean to criticize, but where did you get this?

Speaker 51 (49:09):
Well?

Speaker 10 (49:09):
What is it?

Speaker 22 (49:10):
Missus Aldridge? What is it?

Speaker 9 (49:11):
Homer?

Speaker 48 (49:12):
I'm sorry to be inhospitable, but Henry may have a
lot on his mind when he comes down. I mean, Homer,
you better be going now. Goodbye?

Speaker 22 (49:32):
Hello, Hello, Hello, mother, Henry.

Speaker 11 (49:36):
Aren't you in school yet?

Speaker 22 (49:37):
I've got time.

Speaker 10 (49:38):
Mother.

Speaker 22 (49:38):
I just had a phone and ask you something here.
Where are you one of just three blocks down the street?
And Mother, here's what I want to ask you. Well,
it's about this darn soon I'm wearing.

Speaker 13 (49:50):
Now, Henry.

Speaker 53 (49:51):
I don't want to hear you speak that way about
that soon.

Speaker 22 (49:53):
Again, we didn't mean to be disrespectful about it. Mother,
don't misunderstand me. Only you think this is this says
really a school suit, Henry.

Speaker 13 (50:02):
If you didn't wear it to school, where would you
wear it?

Speaker 22 (50:05):
Well, that's true, now, dear, just.

Speaker 9 (50:09):
Think back a minute.

Speaker 13 (50:10):
Remember how we both agreed it made you look much
bigger and older? Well, and didn't even Mary tell you
how nice you look in it?

Speaker 22 (50:17):
Yes, and there you are, dear. But I remember only
last week we all had to tell Mary we liked
your dress.

Speaker 48 (50:22):
And boy, just a minute, Henry, Mary, please go away
from you.

Speaker 22 (50:27):
What's that?

Speaker 14 (50:28):
Nothing?

Speaker 53 (50:29):
Mary was just saying something about a slipcover for a
chair or something.

Speaker 54 (50:34):
Oh boy, Henry, oh boy, Hi you Willie.

Speaker 22 (50:47):
Wait a minute, I'll walk down the corridor with you.

Speaker 11 (50:49):
What did you get it?

Speaker 22 (50:50):
Henry? Nice morning, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Willie?

Speaker 22 (50:52):
All the timer?

Speaker 9 (50:53):
Boy?

Speaker 11 (50:54):
Pipe the new suit?

Speaker 55 (50:56):
Hi?

Speaker 11 (50:56):
Toby, Hey, Henry, take it off.

Speaker 22 (50:58):
We know who you are. You're going to history.

Speaker 13 (51:01):
Toby.

Speaker 11 (51:02):
Don't get near me, Henry.

Speaker 22 (51:03):
You want to blind me, That's.

Speaker 25 (51:04):
What I say, Henry flashing a thing like that?

Speaker 55 (51:07):
Right?

Speaker 11 (51:07):
My guy by the white Fellas?

Speaker 22 (51:10):
Who do you think he's gonna win the game?

Speaker 11 (51:11):
Saturday?

Speaker 22 (51:12):
Hey, Jimmy, look at Henry. Hello, Lucy, you're going to history,
my goodness, what's the matter? What are you looking at
me like that?

Speaker 13 (51:21):
For real? Goodness?

Speaker 22 (51:24):
Before?

Speaker 27 (51:24):
I want to see where there's a belt in the back.

Speaker 22 (51:28):
Now, listen, Lucy, this duit happens to be all.

Speaker 13 (51:31):
Wool, I'll say, and a yard wide.

Speaker 27 (51:35):
Hey we see, Homer, Homer, look what well, gee, whiz, Henry,
is that is that?

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Now?

Speaker 22 (51:43):
Listen, Henry, let me see that. What's the matter, Homer,
Well I'll be done.

Speaker 55 (51:48):
What sure?

Speaker 22 (51:49):
That's what I thought them? And then I saw it?
That's my uncle? Askars what?

Speaker 2 (51:53):
Homer?

Speaker 22 (51:54):
Well, sure it is.

Speaker 50 (51:55):
I could tell that suit a mile away.

Speaker 22 (51:58):
You're a crazy, Homer. My mother bought this for me. Well,
you're crazy yourself.

Speaker 11 (52:01):
Here is Charlie. Take a look at that suit?

Speaker 56 (52:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 25 (52:05):
Where are my dark glasses? The golden pants are all
one pace.

Speaker 50 (52:08):
Listens, fellas, I want you to meet my uncle Oscar
Hi Oscar.

Speaker 13 (52:12):
Ye you're killing.

Speaker 22 (52:14):
Me, Homer. I'm warning you, are warning.

Speaker 11 (52:17):
You have got just so much patience.

Speaker 50 (52:19):
I suppose you think I'm making it up about my
uncle Oscar. Sure you are all right, Henry, I'll prove
it to you. Let me see the label. Now, wait, Homer,
keep your hands off me.

Speaker 11 (52:27):
Oh I had, Homer, you want me to hold them
for I'm.

Speaker 22 (52:29):
Sure now, Homer, I warn you keep your hands off this, Henry.

Speaker 27 (52:33):
That you hello eleanor aren't you going to be late
to history, late eleanor what.

Speaker 11 (52:40):
Are you getting rid about?

Speaker 9 (52:41):
Oscar?

Speaker 22 (52:42):
For the last time, Fellas, let's cut this out and
just just all go to history.

Speaker 25 (52:46):
You got any checkers?

Speaker 22 (52:47):
What are your fellows light on? Oscara?

Speaker 9 (52:53):
Is that so?

Speaker 22 (52:54):
Willie? Well, I'll have you understand.

Speaker 25 (52:55):
The suit never belonged to Homer's uncle.

Speaker 11 (52:57):
What does it say on the label?

Speaker 22 (52:58):
Homer?

Speaker 11 (52:59):
Here, I'll show you.

Speaker 22 (53:00):
Stand back, Homer, stand back?

Speaker 11 (53:02):
Why why should I sure?

Speaker 29 (53:03):
Go ahead, Homer, that's your uncle suit, and you can
do anything you want.

Speaker 11 (53:07):
Sure I can't. Sure, I can't.

Speaker 22 (53:08):
For the last time, Homer, remember what I said? Go ahead,
Oscar sock, I'm sure I will, and stop calling me Oscar.
I'm not fighting Eleanor I'm just protecting myself.

Speaker 11 (53:20):
Go ahead, Homer, pilant to home.

Speaker 22 (53:22):
I suppose you think I'm afraid to take another step?

Speaker 9 (53:24):
Well?

Speaker 10 (53:24):
Why not you that?

Speaker 57 (53:25):
Now?

Speaker 22 (53:25):
Listen, Willie quit pushing me.

Speaker 11 (53:26):
He took another step. Every he took another step.

Speaker 22 (53:29):
That one doesn't count.

Speaker 11 (53:31):
But Homer, if you take another.

Speaker 22 (53:33):
Boy, will you will you stand back?

Speaker 11 (53:36):
Fellas, stand back and give him room?

Speaker 27 (53:38):
Boys, I think you both jeffed Aufel, are you really
going to fight Lucy?

Speaker 22 (53:42):
I hope you don't think. I hope you don't. Has
anybody got the time?

Speaker 13 (53:46):
Yes, it's time for history.

Speaker 28 (53:48):
It is.

Speaker 22 (53:49):
Well, listen, Homer, it's a very good thing for you,
it is.

Speaker 11 (53:52):
And it's a very good thing for you too. Henry,
you mean you're gonna quit?

Speaker 25 (53:55):
Hey, Polby, let's get the tool them together at three o'clock.

Speaker 11 (53:58):
Hey, that's an idea. Right after the last period.

Speaker 22 (54:01):
Today, I gotta fight Homer at three o'clock. I mean,
I've gotta fight Henry. Sure, Wow, that's fine.

Speaker 58 (54:12):
Sure, that's fine, Elbeth. Yes, will that Homer on the phone?

Speaker 49 (54:29):
Yes, dear, he wanted me to get him out of
school early this afternoon.

Speaker 6 (54:33):
What for?

Speaker 17 (54:34):
I hope you didn't tell him you would.

Speaker 49 (54:36):
Oh no, Well of course I didn't. But he literally
begged me to make an appointment for him at the dentist.
Homer did before the last period this afternoon.

Speaker 9 (54:45):
That's the trouble with you, Elizabeth. You're just spoiling him.
Let him have his own way about everything.

Speaker 49 (54:49):
Will I told him definitely he could not leave early,
even if he does need some dental work done.

Speaker 15 (54:55):
Oh good.

Speaker 12 (54:56):
And what's more, Elizabeth, I think it's time we put
our foot down and made him wear that's that Oscar
sent him.

Speaker 13 (55:01):
Yes, dear, I agree with you.

Speaker 49 (55:04):
Only first I think maybe I ought to tell you
something well now, and don't fly off the handle wheel
and don't hit the ceiling.

Speaker 25 (55:12):
Only yuh what.

Speaker 23 (55:15):
I gave it to Henry Orrich?

Speaker 9 (55:18):
You didn't Brown.

Speaker 49 (55:20):
Homer is your son, and he has your stubborness, and
I just couldn't go through life fighting both of you
over one suit.

Speaker 59 (55:25):
I know, Elizabeth, but suppose Oscar arrives and wants to
see how it looks on.

Speaker 23 (55:29):
Homer we can't go over and asks Henry to retend
this suit?

Speaker 22 (55:32):
Can wey?

Speaker 6 (55:33):
Why not?

Speaker 9 (55:34):
Which is more important?

Speaker 12 (55:35):
Henry or my brother Oscar, who makes eleven thousand dollars
a year?

Speaker 27 (55:52):
Look, Lucy, look at what somebody put up on a
bulletin board. Where Eleanor right.

Speaker 13 (55:56):
In front of you?

Speaker 27 (55:57):
The big poster today three o'clock The Fight of the Century.
Oh my goodness, Homer Brown versus.

Speaker 13 (56:05):
After the flash.

Speaker 27 (56:07):
Oh come on, Lucy will be late for English? All right,
where's the fight gonna be?

Speaker 22 (56:11):
Eleanor?

Speaker 13 (56:11):
I don't know.

Speaker 27 (56:13):
I certainly hope you aren't going well. I just hate fights,
but I haven't anything else to do.

Speaker 22 (56:18):
Hi, Lucy, you've seen Homer anyplace?

Speaker 13 (56:20):
No, I haven't told you.

Speaker 10 (56:20):
You know what I told him? I do for him?

Speaker 22 (56:22):
What Toby be a second?

Speaker 9 (56:23):
This afternoons?

Speaker 22 (56:24):
What his second?

Speaker 9 (56:25):
It's second?

Speaker 22 (56:26):
And Willie's gonna be Henry second?

Speaker 27 (56:28):
You mean when Henry and Homer get tired of fighting,
you and will you are gonna fight.

Speaker 22 (56:32):
No, we tell him what to do, and then we
get water to drink.

Speaker 27 (56:36):
My goodness, they're even gonna drink water.

Speaker 11 (56:38):
They told me, Hi, Charley.

Speaker 50 (56:39):
The football team's getting up a petition for the coach
to cancel practice this afternoon so they can all go
see the fight.

Speaker 22 (56:45):
Goodness, you think.

Speaker 27 (56:45):
I'd be making a mistake if I didn't see.

Speaker 13 (56:47):
It, Lucy.

Speaker 22 (56:48):
It's a grudge fight. Why it's been building up for
three years?

Speaker 27 (56:51):
Oh, let's go into English?

Speaker 13 (56:55):
Why please?

Speaker 22 (56:56):
Why? Let's what up to order?

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Hello?

Speaker 27 (56:59):
Henry?

Speaker 13 (57:00):
Hi eleanor what are you sitting way back here?

Speaker 2 (57:03):
For?

Speaker 9 (57:03):
Boy?

Speaker 22 (57:04):
Just decided to change my seat? Quiet?

Speaker 49 (57:07):
Please please turn to page one hundred and three. By
the way, Henry Aldrich, may I ask why you're sitting
way back there in the last row?

Speaker 22 (57:18):
Why have why just how can you sit down here?

Speaker 23 (57:22):
Would you mind standing up when you speak?

Speaker 13 (57:24):
Please?

Speaker 22 (57:25):
No, Miss Eggleston, Oh my goodness, quiet.

Speaker 23 (57:29):
Please quiet. I don't see anything funny to laugh at.

Speaker 49 (57:33):
And Henry, as long as you do not like your
regular seat, suppose you come right down here and take
this seat in the front row by leed.

Speaker 13 (57:41):
Now, yes, please.

Speaker 9 (57:49):
Quiet, quiet.

Speaker 49 (57:52):
It seems to me, Henry, you should have plenty to
do without deliberately upsetting this entire class.

Speaker 22 (57:57):
Yes, Miss Eggleston, you want me to sit here?

Speaker 49 (58:00):
Is your standing? I'll call on you first to read.
Please start with the first paragraph at the top of
page one hundred and three.

Speaker 22 (58:07):
Yes, Miss Eggleston. During the Mold Decade at the end
of the nineteenth century, there passed across the English literary
scene a figure whose prominence derived not only from his writing,
but from his elaborate taste and clothes. This man was
Oscar Oscar After the Flash, she wears Oscar Wild.

Speaker 7 (58:42):
Alice, Alice, I want you to come into the living
room and meet a business friend of mine.

Speaker 28 (58:46):
Same.

Speaker 47 (58:46):
You mean you brought him home for lunch, as he
doesn't expect much, just to have something real nice, good Same.

Speaker 13 (58:52):
Mother, Yes, Mary, I'm in the dining room.

Speaker 23 (58:55):
Mother, I was just downtown.

Speaker 22 (58:57):
And why do you think somebody told.

Speaker 13 (58:58):
Me I've got to go back to the and take
off this apron Father.

Speaker 27 (59:01):
Would you like to hear what I heard about Homer Brown?

Speaker 7 (59:04):
Maybe there's a gentleman in the living room who's comes
down rather important?

Speaker 9 (59:08):
Mary even wear that dress for lunch?

Speaker 13 (59:11):
Why I plan to Father?

Speaker 9 (59:13):
Yeah, I suppose you run upstairs and see whether you can't.

Speaker 56 (59:16):
You can't?

Speaker 13 (59:17):
You mean you want me to put on something a
little nicer?

Speaker 9 (59:20):
Yes, mother, anyray come here?

Speaker 15 (59:22):
Please?

Speaker 27 (59:22):
I'll ask mother what I should put on everywhere?

Speaker 11 (59:25):
I am right here in the hall.

Speaker 22 (59:26):
Is there something you want?

Speaker 9 (59:27):
I want you to come in and meet Henry?

Speaker 22 (59:32):
You know it? Father, I can't help it.

Speaker 9 (59:34):
Mother made me wear it that thing? Where did she?

Speaker 22 (59:37):
That's what I'd like to know? Turn around, father, who
is it you want me to meet?

Speaker 9 (59:43):
No one?

Speaker 13 (59:47):
Every What are you doing home for lunch?

Speaker 9 (59:49):
Well?

Speaker 22 (59:49):
Mother, I just I'd rather eat here.

Speaker 48 (59:51):
Here, Dear, isn't this hot dog day in the school cafeteria?

Speaker 26 (59:55):
Well?

Speaker 22 (59:55):
Yes, mother, and I like hot dogs, but frankly I
don't enjoy eating them in a place where everyone's there
and sees.

Speaker 13 (01:00:02):
Sheees, Oh my goodness.

Speaker 22 (01:00:05):
Novelist and Mary Henry.

Speaker 9 (01:00:07):
Mary, I thought you were going upstairs and change your dress.

Speaker 48 (01:00:10):
I am only I mean I have to change, and
you're going to.

Speaker 13 (01:00:12):
Let Henry know?

Speaker 58 (01:00:13):
Mary?

Speaker 27 (01:00:14):
Yes, mother, only, First, did I tell you what I
heard about Homer?

Speaker 13 (01:00:17):
What about it?

Speaker 27 (01:00:18):
He's going to be in a big fight with somebody, yes, Henry,
with Oscar?

Speaker 13 (01:00:22):
Somebody?

Speaker 27 (01:00:23):
Who could that be?

Speaker 11 (01:00:25):
With Oscar?

Speaker 27 (01:00:26):
My goodness, the whole town's talking about it, Henry.

Speaker 48 (01:00:29):
I think if Homer's going to turn out to be
that kind of a boy, the less you have to
do with.

Speaker 13 (01:00:33):
Him, the better.

Speaker 22 (01:00:35):
You're sure, Mother, I don't like any of that crowd
at school. That's why I thought I come home for.

Speaker 9 (01:00:39):
Lunch, Henry. You're not going to eat here with us,
are you?

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Well?

Speaker 22 (01:00:43):
Yes, Father, We're not in this. I'm gonna go upstairs
and change first, Henry.

Speaker 13 (01:00:45):
You can't possibly change your other suitors at the tailor's.

Speaker 22 (01:00:49):
Well, Mother, at least I can go and put on
my corduroys.

Speaker 48 (01:00:52):
No, do your corter roys are in the wash. Now,
turn around and show your father the shoulders. That's an
excellent suit. Yeah, and feel it, Sam, feel it?

Speaker 22 (01:01:03):
She wi his father, be honest, just now, when you
first saw the suit almost faded.

Speaker 11 (01:01:08):
Who yeah, sure, Sam, Henry.

Speaker 9 (01:01:10):
It's an excellent suit. I hadn't seen the back before.

Speaker 22 (01:01:15):
But you really think it's worth fighting over?

Speaker 9 (01:01:17):
I've said to be telling you it's handsome, not go
ahead and wear it?

Speaker 11 (01:01:19):
We almost wrong? Which is this your family here in
the hall?

Speaker 9 (01:01:22):
Yes, mister Thomas, this is missus Ulrich. Dear, this is
mister Thomas.

Speaker 13 (01:01:25):
How do you do?

Speaker 9 (01:01:26):
And I'm sorry, but my daughter Mary has just stepped out?

Speaker 22 (01:01:30):
Is that Henry I see right behind you?

Speaker 9 (01:01:32):
Yes, this is Henry.

Speaker 7 (01:01:34):
He just came home to put on a costume for
the school plays.

Speaker 57 (01:01:39):
Ed.

Speaker 9 (01:01:40):
Now he's got the rights right back? What's the father?

Speaker 10 (01:01:43):
By Henry?

Speaker 9 (01:01:43):
Goodbye and good luck.

Speaker 45 (01:01:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 47 (01:01:58):
The Aldridge family has been family listening for a long time.
But here at NBC we have a number of families
who bring you top comedy tonight. Why not stay tuned
for the Harris family. You'll find phil Alice, the two
Harris girls, brother William, and of course a half hour
of real entertainment. Great stars of the screen will be
featured next on NBC when Theodore Guild on the Air

(01:02:21):
presents Rosalind Russell and Mel Ferrer in Lloyd Douglas's drama
Magnificent Obsession. Action comes next with a due of top
adventure shows Dragnet and Barry Craig Confidential Investigator.

Speaker 9 (01:02:34):
And also this.

Speaker 47 (01:02:35):
Evening, Martha Roundtree and Lawrence Spivak bring you America's only
public press conference, Meet the Press, So stay tuned to
NBC for your top radio shows. Now getting back to

(01:02:56):
the troubles of Henry Aldridge. Because Henry has had to
wear a suit that formerly belonged to home of Brown's
uncle Alaska, he suffered more than his share from the
gang at school. As a result, the students have scheduled
an open fight at three o'clock this afternoon between Henry
and Homer. The scene opens in the principal's office.

Speaker 49 (01:03:16):
Come in, did you want to see me here in
your office, mister Bradley.

Speaker 9 (01:03:21):
Yes, Miss Eggleston, Sit down. I hope I didn't call
you from any class, Miss Eggleston.

Speaker 7 (01:03:29):
I happened to pass by your English past this morning,
and frankly, it seemed to me I heard more disturbance
than was really necessary.

Speaker 23 (01:03:36):
Mister Baddy, May I say something.

Speaker 7 (01:03:38):
Yes, Miss Eggleston, just as soon as I am finished.
A reasonable about of laughter is quite in order in
any class. But when the students sound as though they
were rolling on the floor, I can only conclude that
the teacher has lost all control.

Speaker 23 (01:03:52):
Now, may I say something, mister Bradley.

Speaker 9 (01:03:54):
Yes, miss Eggleston.

Speaker 7 (01:03:55):
As soon as I have finished, as I passed by
your partly open door, it seemed to me that in
the midst of all this commotion, I saw you laughing.

Speaker 23 (01:04:04):
But mister Pedley, I'm only human.

Speaker 9 (01:04:06):
I beg your pardon.

Speaker 49 (01:04:07):
I'm sorry, but it would be impossible for me to
describe what happened.

Speaker 7 (01:04:11):
Now, come, Miss Eggleston. I can appreciate a joke just
as much as anyone.

Speaker 9 (01:04:15):
Bradley.

Speaker 23 (01:04:16):
I didn't mean to insinuate that you couldn't.

Speaker 7 (01:04:18):
Just made regardless of what you meant, that's certainly the
way it sounded. And to be frank, I think it
would be very wise if I visited your class tomorrow.
Come in, yes, Willie, come in?

Speaker 23 (01:04:31):
That will be all, mister Bradley.

Speaker 7 (01:04:32):
That will all, and tomorrow we'll all have a good
laugh together.

Speaker 13 (01:04:37):
Very well.

Speaker 9 (01:04:38):
Now then, will in, Yes, mister Bradley, I close the door, please, yes.

Speaker 60 (01:04:44):
Well, I had a talk with them, mister Bradley. I
told them just exactly what you said. So there won't
be a public fight on the school grounds this afternoon.

Speaker 9 (01:04:53):
You made it quite clear, Willy.

Speaker 22 (01:04:54):
Oh, yes, mister Bradley, and.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
The fight is off entirely, well entirely that is.

Speaker 60 (01:05:02):
Instead we decided, I mean, they're gonna have it on
a vacant lot in back of Well, it isn't going
to be on a school ground.

Speaker 7 (01:05:09):
Willy, I understand you are one of the ringleaders and
all this who why.

Speaker 22 (01:05:14):
Mister Bradley a ringleader? Oh no, I'm just a second.

Speaker 9 (01:05:20):
You're sure of that, all, mister Bradley.

Speaker 60 (01:05:23):
If there's one thing I hate to see, it's two
guys in a good fight.

Speaker 7 (01:05:28):
Well, I suppose if they've got to get it out
of their system. Understand, Willy, I am emphatically against boys fighting,
but if it's off the school grounds, I don't see
how I can in any way interfere.

Speaker 9 (01:05:40):
Yes, mister Bradley, and that will be all.

Speaker 23 (01:05:42):
Yes, mister Bradley, Oh, Willie.

Speaker 9 (01:05:45):
Just one moment, Yes, mister Bradley. Where did you say
this fight is going to be held?

Speaker 23 (01:05:51):
Why I didn't say, yes?

Speaker 17 (01:05:55):
That will be all?

Speaker 50 (01:06:10):
Hey, fellas, look what what have got for Homer A
pail and a sponge as nothing.

Speaker 25 (01:06:14):
Look at what I got for Henry shock a lemon?

Speaker 22 (01:06:17):
Who's gonna keep time?

Speaker 11 (01:06:18):
I am Willie?

Speaker 29 (01:06:19):
I am.

Speaker 22 (01:06:19):
Where's Henry and Homer?

Speaker 13 (01:06:20):
Oh they'll be along.

Speaker 25 (01:06:22):
Henry said he got here as fast as he could.

Speaker 11 (01:06:24):
Boy, was he actors to get into this?

Speaker 22 (01:06:26):
While Homer was anxious to We said he wouldn't be late.

Speaker 27 (01:06:29):
My goodness, Eleanor, isn't this exciting? I think it's terrible, Lucy,
That's what I mean. That's what I mean. I can
hardly wait.

Speaker 22 (01:06:49):
What time is it, Homer?

Speaker 50 (01:06:51):
It's exactly twenty five minutes after three?

Speaker 9 (01:06:55):
Is that right?

Speaker 22 (01:06:58):
It's a pretty good soda, isn't it him? Boy, I'll say,
And don't misunderstand me.

Speaker 50 (01:07:05):
I'd be perfectly willing to go over to that lot
and fight you, Henry, only only sure I know what
you mean.

Speaker 22 (01:07:11):
And I hope you don't think I wouldn't be willing
to fight you, Homer.

Speaker 52 (01:07:14):
She was.

Speaker 22 (01:07:14):
I'd be willing to knock your block off for you.
But as the fellow the soda fountain just told you,
your father's been looking all over town for you.

Speaker 50 (01:07:21):
Sure, and if he wants me to keep an appointment
at the dentist or something. Well, naturally, I can't disobey.

Speaker 22 (01:07:27):
Them, naturally, the Homer. Don't look toward the door now,
But I think some of the gangs.

Speaker 9 (01:07:31):
Just went by.

Speaker 22 (01:07:32):
You think they're still looking for sure? Let's have anotherisoda.
I'll pay for this one. Oh no, Henry, you let me?
Were you crazy? Homer? I got a quarter right here?
Now wait a minute. Oh she whiz? Did I knock
it out of your hand? Well that's all right, Homer,
it's right down here on the floor. Oh wait a second, Henry,
you let me get it for you. Well, I'm already
under the table, Homers, so am I?

Speaker 11 (01:07:51):
Fellas, here they are, where Charlie? They're wrestling under the table?

Speaker 17 (01:07:55):
O g wish?

Speaker 44 (01:07:56):
Listen, Fellas, don't you realize the whole school is waiting
for you over at the lo who was?

Speaker 15 (01:08:01):
Now?

Speaker 22 (01:08:02):
Listen, Homer? Will you stop twisting my ankle?

Speaker 11 (01:08:04):
Henry, take your hands off my throat?

Speaker 61 (01:08:06):
Oh my goodness, what are yelling about, Lucy?

Speaker 11 (01:08:19):
They haven't even swung at each other yet.

Speaker 13 (01:08:22):
What did they do?

Speaker 34 (01:08:22):
You?

Speaker 11 (01:08:23):
Open your eyes and your seat.

Speaker 27 (01:08:24):
Oh my goodness, they're at least six feet away from
each other.

Speaker 11 (01:08:28):
Rush, I'm Henry RuSHA.

Speaker 22 (01:08:30):
I'm sure I will, Sure, I will.

Speaker 16 (01:08:32):
Omer.

Speaker 10 (01:08:32):
What do you keep trickling around him for?

Speaker 11 (01:08:34):
I'm measuring him? Come on, let's have some Yeah, that's
what I said. How can I hit him?

Speaker 9 (01:08:42):
Look at him?

Speaker 11 (01:08:42):
Keep backing away? You are crazy. You're backing away yourself.

Speaker 22 (01:08:45):
I am not what happened.

Speaker 41 (01:08:47):
Hey?

Speaker 22 (01:08:48):
Who tripped me?

Speaker 9 (01:08:49):
Hey?

Speaker 11 (01:08:49):
Help Henry up?

Speaker 22 (01:08:50):
Somebody who is I'm all right now listen, Homer, stop
running all around me like that.

Speaker 11 (01:08:54):
Who's running? Who's running?

Speaker 55 (01:08:56):
Paul?

Speaker 31 (01:08:56):
That's talking to him, Homer, that's telling him when I
get off, Palmer can think him as soup.

Speaker 11 (01:09:02):
Sure some suit? Some suit? You look just like my
uncle Aska.

Speaker 22 (01:09:07):
Now listen, Homer, do you call me that once more?

Speaker 62 (01:09:10):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (01:09:10):
Henry, go away from soccer.

Speaker 22 (01:09:12):
I'm going do I'm going to she wins. Do I
have to go to the Dennis?

Speaker 9 (01:09:19):
You come with me.

Speaker 22 (01:09:21):
Now, mister Brown, you mean I can't beat Homer up?

Speaker 59 (01:09:23):
And it's for you, Henry Alrich You're come along too,
and bring that suit with you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
Boy?

Speaker 22 (01:09:44):
Am I ashamed? Am I ashamed?

Speaker 10 (01:09:47):
Well?

Speaker 22 (01:09:48):
Listen, Homer, here we are all the way out in
the edge of town. She was I'm tired walking? Boy?
Am I ashamed. Oh, it doesn't look so bad on
your home, or now that the sun's going down, all
the checks are sort of blended together.

Speaker 50 (01:10:04):
Yeah, I know, but my father said, I've got to
wear this suit to school tomorrow.

Speaker 22 (01:10:11):
Listen, Henry, you've already broken it in. Wouldn't you like
to wear it? Didn't your father tell you I couldn't
keep it, but he wanted you to have the pleasure
of wearing it.

Speaker 18 (01:10:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 22 (01:10:21):
Sure, what do you think?

Speaker 50 (01:10:22):
I want everyone in town to call me Oscar this
and Oscar that for as long as I live here.

Speaker 22 (01:10:28):
I wonder, I wonder you wonder what? I don't suppose
we could burn this suit?

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Could we?

Speaker 22 (01:10:35):
Right on me? Well?

Speaker 50 (01:10:40):
The only thing is, Henry, my father wouldn't believe it
was an accident.

Speaker 22 (01:10:44):
You know what I mean? Well, listen, let's go back
into town then, Oh no, not until it's pitch black
they home. Look out, what's the matter? You see what
I see crawling across the road? Henry? What is that?

Speaker 9 (01:10:56):
He wears?

Speaker 22 (01:10:56):
It's a skut, isn't it, Henry? Is that a skunk?
Are you sure it's a skunk?

Speaker 9 (01:11:03):
Sure it is?

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
Here?

Speaker 50 (01:11:06):
Kitty Kitty Kenny, Here, Kitty Kenny come to Homer.

Speaker 22 (01:11:12):
Homer, hurry, he's getting away from you.

Speaker 15 (01:11:24):
Right now.

Speaker 47 (01:11:25):
Even in November, many sections of the country are unusually dry.
This increases the danger of forest fires. So every time
you're out in the fields of forest, follow these rules.
Crush out cigarette, cigar and pipe ashes, break matches in
two after using them. Drown all campfires, then stir and

(01:11:46):
drown them again. Learn and respect the law before starting
any fire. Forest rangers can fight forest fires, but only
you can prevent them.

Speaker 9 (01:12:02):
Yes, Father, are you back already?

Speaker 22 (01:12:05):
Well, Father, it's like this.

Speaker 9 (01:12:07):
Homer, didn't I tell you to go down to the dentist.

Speaker 50 (01:12:10):
Well, yes, sir, I did, only he said he'd rather
wait a week or two before he works on me.

Speaker 47 (01:12:23):
The Aldrich Family is transcribed as written by Clifford Goldsmith.
Henry is played by Bobby Ellis and Homer by Jack Grimes.
Mister and Missus Aldridge, your house Jamison and Katherine Rock.
Your announcer is Dick Down. Listen again next week, same time,
same station for another sparkling half hour with the Aldridge

(01:12:46):
Family and Night Everybody.

Speaker 5 (01:12:50):
The final season of The Aldridge Family seventy three years ago.
November nine, nineteen fifty two here on Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt Cocks. Coming up tomorrow Mister Keen, Tracer of
Lost Persons, Broadway is My Beat starring Larry Thor, Night
Lights Out, The Bunvoyage and Danger Doctor dan Field. On Tuesday,

(01:13:12):
Comedy with Melton Burle, Archie, andrews Abitt and Costello, and
the CBS Radio Workshop Report on the Wiens. On Wednesday,
we'll have more comedy, but we'll start off with part
two of the two part episode of Escape Earth Abides
starring John Dayner. Then we'll get to a humorous name
with an episode of the Jimmy Duranty Show from nineteen

(01:13:34):
forty seven, and we'll spend an hour with the Chase
and Sanborn folks. That's always fun. On Thursday, we'll Westerns
and romance with an episode of Gun Smoke Have Gun,
We'll travel Saunders of the Circle X and Romance. Friday
Means History with the Edward Arnold as Mister President, another

(01:13:57):
episode of Romance, The Egg Farm, Dark Thing, Fantasy, The
Man Who Came Back, and The Whistler. And then on
Saturday we'll have more Westerns, this time Geene Autrey's Melody
Ranch Jimmy Stewart as the six Shooter Have Gun Will
Travel starring John Bainer and Gun Smoke. And then on

(01:14:17):
Sunday we will have comedy again a week from today
with Jack Benny, the Aldridge Family, aven and Costello and
Amos and Andy. That's all coming up here on the
next week of Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox anytime
at Classic Radio Dot stream. Up next Edgar Bergan and

(01:14:38):
Charlie McCarthy along with No it can't be Marilyn Monroe.

Speaker 19 (01:14:53):
In case an enemy attack on our country, these two
numbers six forty and twelve forty may save your life.
They are your donnel right frequencies. Remember six forty and
twelve forty.

Speaker 5 (01:15:04):
And one more show from the twenty ninth day of
November nineteen fifty two, seventy three years ago, a very
infamous episode of The Edgar Bergen Show with Charlie McCarthy
as they are joined by Marilyn Monroe who spokes to
marry Maryland.

Speaker 28 (01:15:33):
Richard had not.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
Richard Hudner of Fifth Avenue ring Joe The Edgar Bergan
Show with Charlie mccartey a friend, and night and time
again for Edgar Bergan with Charlie McCarthy.

Speaker 56 (01:16:00):
Third and rain Over in his orchestra What you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
Old Friends by by Richard Hutnut, Makers of Scientific Hair
Preparation to Night all acount.

Speaker 55 (01:16:09):
Is l and my own.

Speaker 2 (01:16:20):
Give your hair a beauty finish after your next shampoo.
Here's how to win.

Speaker 28 (01:16:25):
Lady read treat your hid to Richard Hunt the cream
after read hampoo eat Permanent teaching a beauty sings Beauson

(01:16:45):
Rint Lady Red with Richard Hard Clean.

Speaker 2 (01:16:54):
The magic conditioning rims discovered by Richard Hutnut after every shampoo.

Speaker 56 (01:16:59):
It makes your hairs.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
Foster and so manageable. It gives your hair up beauty finish.
Insist on the genuine Richard had not cream went.

Speaker 9 (01:17:11):
Now that your barn.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
Roley McCarthy, Oh are those rumors I've been hearing true?
I mean, is Charles actually going to marry Marilyn Monroe?
That's correct?

Speaker 6 (01:17:32):
Ray, poor girl?

Speaker 2 (01:17:34):
Is she paying off an election bacon? But I can't
understand it either, credible, ran my Marilyn. This is the
day that we will read.

Speaker 63 (01:17:44):
Oh, yes, hello.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
You poor loses you Yes, darling. Oh oh you're going
to give up single bliss for a ball and change. Yeah, yeah,
and the change in Marilyn is really gonna be a ball. Charlie,
do you think do you think that you're ready for marriage? Ready? Ready?

Speaker 56 (01:18:11):
Man?

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
I kicked a hole in the starting gate.

Speaker 6 (01:18:15):
Oh I say that, Charles.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
I've heard about you and Marilyn Monroe, and may I
tend to my gratuoss recitations upon the advent.

Speaker 29 (01:18:23):
Of your enough to Well, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
I don't think it did. What does that mean?

Speaker 6 (01:18:29):
I wish I were in your shoes.

Speaker 56 (01:18:32):
You know, boy, you must have some British blood.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
In your well. Make you say that?

Speaker 56 (01:18:35):
Well, you certainly didn't take all.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
Excuse me, Damn, I.

Speaker 56 (01:18:42):
Just got carried away.

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
Keep it up and you will they Yes, you're know, Ray,
this is this is quite a step that Charlie is taking.
And I would like to ask you, Ray, what what.

Speaker 56 (01:18:55):
Do you think of marriage?

Speaker 2 (01:18:56):
Well?

Speaker 56 (01:18:57):
They go.

Speaker 2 (01:18:57):
You know, I think it's one thing that every mo
than wife should have him common. Of course, Charles, I
still can't understand why married Monroe picked you. I don't
know what she seasoned me either, besides good look, chime,
talent and personality and that's about all I got. Well,

(01:19:19):
what do you two have in common? I mean when
you're together. What do you talk about?

Speaker 56 (01:19:23):
Who talks?

Speaker 2 (01:19:27):
But I tell you one thing. She's not only beautiful,
but she's intelligent too. Yes, you like her iq I
like her whole alsl bit you like her.

Speaker 15 (01:19:38):
From a two?

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
Wow?

Speaker 56 (01:19:42):
I know, Charlie.

Speaker 2 (01:19:44):
Well you know it won't be the same around the
house without you. No, but don't you worry Bergen.

Speaker 42 (01:19:51):
With me gone, you won't.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
Be able to keep the house long enough to notice
the difference. I'll tell me something, Charlie.

Speaker 56 (01:20:00):
Will you miss me?

Speaker 6 (01:20:01):
Uh? Miss you?

Speaker 29 (01:20:04):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:20:04):
On days when I haven't anything else to do, I'll try. Yeah,
at least you you will write to me every week, Burgie,
promise Bringen, would I lie to you?

Speaker 56 (01:20:18):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:20:18):
You usually do? Well, there's your answer. Yeah, but those
deals the van Bergen. You can be best man at
the wedding. Oh, by the way, childs, will your marriage
to be an afternoon or an evening affair? Oh? We
expected to lafe longer than that. Yeah, that's so long.
Everyone see at the wedding. Oh, do not forsake me,

(01:20:40):
oh my darling. On this highway there are Rainobo, the
orchestra and our quartet to bring us The Live Oak Tree,

(01:21:15):
a book of brothers underneath the diy a loaf of fresds,
a jug of wine.

Speaker 52 (01:21:21):
And now that's a vision version of a kind of
a giron with you right now, the book of Birds
never would be read.

Speaker 56 (01:21:34):
And we could do without a loaf of.

Speaker 28 (01:21:37):
Fress and it would suit me fine without the jug
of wine.

Speaker 34 (01:21:42):
If I got a little love instead.

Speaker 2 (01:22:01):
When I'm with you and you're with me, it's great.

Speaker 36 (01:22:05):
To be alive, beneath, alive when.

Speaker 62 (01:22:09):
I'm with you, when you're with me.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
If you a honkey, don't we need to yokiky don't.
And this, my star is also true. It's bring to
me alone when I'm alone with you, to the very up.

Speaker 42 (01:22:31):
Where it's all.

Speaker 28 (01:22:34):
That you get here any cars truck.

Speaker 15 (01:22:38):
The whole day through, when I'm our Roman.

Speaker 56 (01:22:41):
With only the nature borough capt.

Speaker 15 (01:22:45):
The birds guide the news again, we have a so
and it's all.

Speaker 42 (01:22:53):
With you and you're with me.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
And where it is a live oak.

Speaker 6 (01:23:11):
About.

Speaker 56 (01:23:36):
Oh, dear, well mind your well y know yeh y
have you heard the big news?

Speaker 2 (01:23:43):
Well?

Speaker 56 (01:23:43):
Ill, well, my cat just that kitten one of the things.
She's awful disappointed too. She wanted to.

Speaker 2 (01:23:55):
Well, that's one of the news I was talking about
us more. Oh yes, yes, you know all in Monroe
and Charlie are getting married.

Speaker 56 (01:24:03):
Oh yeah, well why why?

Speaker 2 (01:24:06):
Well you know when people get married, they get married.

Speaker 56 (01:24:09):
Because they're in love. Oh oh hell, seems like they're
ought to be an easier way out of that.

Speaker 8 (01:24:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:18):
Well you know what marriage is.

Speaker 56 (01:24:20):
You know, it's for me. It's a friendship that gets
all messed up in it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:24):
No, no, I hate to say it, but Charlie and I.

Speaker 56 (01:24:28):
Are saying goodbye. Say what goodbye? Oh yeah, yeah, goodbye,
good bye. I'll see you later.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
No not, no, no, no, no, you see I want
you Martia, mr. I want you to fill charlie shoes.

Speaker 56 (01:24:43):
Yes, well do you want me to film with No? No, no,
so wasn't joke? No no, no, no no no.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
I want you to take Charlie's place.

Speaker 56 (01:24:51):
Oh I see you. You want me to marry Marylyn?

Speaker 57 (01:24:54):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:24:55):
No on the show, Jen, just think that you will
be known. You'll be known as the partner of Edgar Bergen.
Does the name Edgar Bergen mean something to you?

Speaker 55 (01:25:06):
Oh?

Speaker 56 (01:25:06):
Yo, whatever, because you were him. No.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
Right now, we have to get ready for Charlie's wedding.

Speaker 56 (01:25:14):
Now, Mortimer, you're invited and we'll find you. I want
you to watch your manners.

Speaker 2 (01:25:18):
I want you to put your best foot forward.

Speaker 56 (01:25:21):
You mean the one with the fixed.

Speaker 15 (01:25:22):
Holes on it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Yeah. When people speak to you, you should say yes
sir and yes ma'am m.

Speaker 42 (01:25:30):
Now is that clear?

Speaker 2 (01:25:32):
Yep? Yeah, you mean yes sir?

Speaker 56 (01:25:35):
Don't you?

Speaker 6 (01:25:35):
Oh?

Speaker 56 (01:25:36):
Yeah, yep? Help?

Speaker 2 (01:25:38):
Can't you say anything?

Speaker 15 (01:25:39):
But yep?

Speaker 56 (01:25:39):
Oh yes sir? Now isn't that better? I want to
go wrong again?

Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
No, I don't now another thing, buttimer you know clothes
are very important at a wedding or something.

Speaker 56 (01:25:54):
I know you were there.

Speaker 2 (01:25:58):
How do you think you're feeling? A top hat and
white eyes?

Speaker 56 (01:26:01):
Find your choice.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
I'll have to rent a dread suit for you. Now
let me see. I'll need some measurements, bill, Yes, what
are you around? The wait? You tick? And how about
your sleeves? Do you want? Do you want thirty four sleeves?

Speaker 9 (01:26:24):
No?

Speaker 56 (01:26:24):
I think you ought to be plenty.

Speaker 2 (01:26:29):
What I'm thinking of is the measurements and where do
you want your sleeves.

Speaker 56 (01:26:31):
To come to?

Speaker 2 (01:26:32):
For? To me? To you, would you describe yourself Mortimer
as tall or short? Well, i'd say might say on
tall on one end and short on How about the
trouser lane will what about? Yeah, how long are your
late well the starting flush in? Well, I what I

(01:26:57):
want to know is how long will you want your trousers?

Speaker 56 (01:27:00):
Well, just till the wedding's over.

Speaker 2 (01:27:01):
Yeah, I don't you don't see you understand, don't you see?
If I have your exact measurements, now you will get
a benefit in the end.

Speaker 56 (01:27:10):
Well, I was hoping it fit good all over?

Speaker 2 (01:27:12):
Oh yeah, ordinarily better hurry because I'm sure you'll want
you'll want some of that wedding gake. What well you
know they say a big girl sleeps with a wedding
gake under her pillows, that she'll get a husband.

Speaker 56 (01:27:29):
Well, that ain't what you get. It ain't noser. You
don't get that gold by trying it? Or you did?

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
What did you get? Any began? What was that? That's
a Tom Tom Charlie all the timetown? Yeah you know

(01:27:55):
Charlie his skin stretched over a drumhead. Or don't be sensitive, Bregon.
Those drums are sending a warning, Charley to every woman listening.
When you give yourself a home permanent.

Speaker 56 (01:28:10):
Be beauty wise than neutralized.

Speaker 2 (01:28:13):
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of hidden hair damage. The chemical action of all cold
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That's why Richard Hudnut gives you first the neutralizer to
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famous neutralizer booster to lock in your waves so it

(01:28:35):
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(01:28:56):
shorter time. Be beauty wise, buy a Richard Huttnut Home Permanent.

(01:29:17):
Ladies and gentlemen, many of you have grown up with
Charlie McCarthy, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss
his wedding. So come with us to the little wedding
chapel where the ceremony is about to be held. And now,
while we're awaiting the arrival of the bride, let's listen
to the choir as they.

Speaker 62 (01:29:34):
Say, oh, thanks a lot for that's something that's be

(01:30:38):
all the things.

Speaker 57 (01:30:39):
Silly, ay a very well ty thank my About is
the name of a down down in body.

Speaker 2 (01:30:54):
And well all that one might get a load of
my mom. See that's a father. I'm gone and I'm
the one who's twitter wise to the approach to Fama doctors.

Speaker 36 (01:31:11):
Lie, oil boy, this sex three of the part.

Speaker 43 (01:31:16):
That's the way it's gonna say.

Speaker 36 (01:31:18):
I guarantee you.

Speaker 57 (01:31:23):
So my tongue as my god take a break up day,
how they see?

Speaker 36 (01:31:30):
I am bunny until I bring the.

Speaker 31 (01:31:32):
Lady back to your wizards.

Speaker 2 (01:31:54):
Well, the bride still hasn't arrived, but Edgar and Charlie
are in the waiting room. Know what they're talking about?
You know, Charlie, in the little while you will be
married to Marilyn Monroe. Yeah, yeah, you know, Charlie, there
there comes a time in everyone's life.

Speaker 56 (01:32:14):
When when you must learn about the certain things.

Speaker 2 (01:32:19):
Yeah, well when you want an old egg and you know,
I mean, what I'm trying to tell you, Charlie is
that you must understand that that single life is not
like married life. Well, I should hope now you've heard,
of course, about the birds and the bees. Yeah, yeah,

(01:32:42):
I never could figure out what they hadn't common like,
it's plumsy sort of them next to me? What you've
seen the bee go from flower to flower collecting pollen. Yeah,
do you know the result? He No, Now, Charlie, you're
not making this for me. Sweat it out and sweat

(01:33:05):
it out. Well, let's forget about the birds and the
let's take people. Now you're talking. Yeah, what I'm trying to.

Speaker 56 (01:33:14):
Say is that.

Speaker 2 (01:33:15):
What I'm trying to say, Charlie, is that girls, yes,
began girls.

Speaker 56 (01:33:20):
Well, girls aren't boys.

Speaker 2 (01:33:25):
No, you ruined everything? What do you mean now? Marilyn
and I will have to go on peparate honeymoon, Charley.
All I'm trying to tell you is what I'm trying
to explain to you. I don't know what you're trying
to tell me.

Speaker 56 (01:33:42):
Oh well, and oh and you look beautiful. I'm wearing
my wedding dress.

Speaker 25 (01:33:59):
Yeah, involved Yeah, you didn't borrow enough.

Speaker 29 (01:34:04):
We'll be so happy I can see it now.

Speaker 36 (01:34:07):
Yeah, you and I by the fireplace, the.

Speaker 2 (01:34:10):
Kettle listening, look and blame joy.

Speaker 25 (01:34:14):
What would you mind if I kept on working?

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
Well, I'm Marilyn. Let's get this straight. I wear the
pants in this family.

Speaker 57 (01:34:21):
You're absolutely right.

Speaker 1 (01:34:22):
Yeah, it's a shame because I make around fifty thousand
a year.

Speaker 2 (01:34:27):
Oh you do, well, I might look good in flax.

Speaker 55 (01:34:33):
Yeah, that's where's my role.

Speaker 2 (01:34:36):
I'm from lock Look look magazine.

Speaker 56 (01:34:38):
No, I just want to look.

Speaker 28 (01:34:44):
I'm worried, Charlie the cloud outside. My fans can object
to this marriage.

Speaker 56 (01:34:49):
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (01:34:50):
I'm just a woman, I know, but you're so good
at it. Marylyn, my dear, we were made for each other.

Speaker 1 (01:34:58):
Kissing Charlie just meets.

Speaker 2 (01:35:00):
You, yes, gladly, all right. Ah, they're still playing our song.

(01:35:22):
I think they've large the orchestra, mister Roger synchronized wedding ring,
A jolly legal person.

Speaker 5 (01:35:36):
Stop the wedding.

Speaker 50 (01:35:37):
Stop the wedding, ty, old boy.

Speaker 17 (01:35:40):
So you conker through this marriage?

Speaker 2 (01:35:41):
Look a bit mobile grid, they'll tell you.

Speaker 17 (01:35:43):
Limb from Limb, let me see good Heaven to caring saga.

Speaker 2 (01:35:47):
Look at that one, he says, take the Washington Monuments.

Speaker 9 (01:35:50):
And leave us.

Speaker 2 (01:35:51):
Monroe. There's another one. Things were looking better and better,
but you took our girl and left just to swim.
Don't only here, cous We can revolt. Oh boy, kilok.

Speaker 6 (01:36:06):
I bought my portable radio.

Speaker 17 (01:36:07):
But you can hear what happened.

Speaker 56 (01:36:09):
And now here's Gabriel hitter.

Speaker 55 (01:36:11):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
That's five News tonight. Milon Monroe is marry Charlie mccaffee,
some wearing an army camp a soldiers bearing.

Speaker 56 (01:36:20):
Up his calendar.

Speaker 2 (01:36:28):
Somewhere in New York.

Speaker 15 (01:36:29):
Come out of his christ.

Speaker 2 (01:36:31):
Let's me hello for a priest moss from all spots.
Don't do it, Marylyn, have the state turned on another station.

Speaker 22 (01:36:43):
I'll try this one.

Speaker 56 (01:36:44):
Hello, Hello, Hello, This is odd.

Speaker 63 (01:36:48):
The gods be sponsored by practically everyone. Malon Monroe is
very Charlie mccaze by gully. There'll be no commercials today.

Speaker 2 (01:37:00):
Only last night I was looking at the picture of
Marilyn Monroe and smoking, and I didn't even have a cigarette.

Speaker 63 (01:37:09):
He's getting married those dear Well, this is for you, Maryland.
I went to your weady Oh, I was ready, the.

Speaker 56 (01:37:24):
Bluzing.

Speaker 63 (01:37:26):
Your moso was crying. Your father was crying.

Speaker 2 (01:37:50):
His things are getting foggy. Turning my offers. I'll try
this cause yeah, do you think it's much North American?
You've broken heart of tailors for three.

Speaker 42 (01:38:03):
Wack.

Speaker 2 (01:38:04):
The Russians are trying to steal the blueprints from Alan Monroe.
And here's a personal message to Charlie mccafee. Why are
you little pipsqueak?

Speaker 57 (01:38:13):
You?

Speaker 2 (01:38:14):
I happen to know that your family tree has a
not hole in it. Fur Tomorrow Congus is passing a
lot and prevents Marland from marrying anyone and Prosty's fifty.
This will be known as the new Monroe doctrine. Has
off candy mob you get can you mad? Until when
stay stand by myfl A short wave brought death direct

(01:38:34):
from England. We bring you the honorable Winston Church children.

Speaker 56 (01:38:39):
This is doctor Star.

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
The entire British Empire extensis empathy is Charles macau and yup,
I'm going through with this marriage to Madan in Monroe.
I has only one thing to stay never has anyone's
doing it is taken so much from so many. Shut

(01:39:13):
that thing off, Charlie.

Speaker 9 (01:39:15):
There's only one thing to do.

Speaker 2 (01:39:16):
Let's hello Elope, Okay, Maryland, Las Vegas, here we come.

Speaker 29 (01:39:32):
Well, this is the only play chip in Vegas.

Speaker 2 (01:39:33):
Now, I guess you'll have to do. Yeah, look at
that sign all night weddings five dollars reduce rates if
you play our slop machines.

Speaker 22 (01:39:41):
I'm not a schoen.

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
That must be the justice of the beast. Hello, I
want to get married. Fine, have you got a girl?
I'm married?

Speaker 55 (01:39:54):
Ye?

Speaker 56 (01:39:56):
That's the silliest thing I ever heard of?

Speaker 2 (01:40:00):
What do you mean?

Speaker 6 (01:40:00):
Who ever heard of?

Speaker 56 (01:40:01):
Getting hitched to a hitching pole? Cook?

Speaker 2 (01:40:05):
Here, loosen quivery. But we'll start the ceremony.

Speaker 6 (01:40:08):
Now, you take your hand.

Speaker 56 (01:40:11):
Okay, you two know the rules. Rules.

Speaker 2 (01:40:13):
Oh I'm sorry, I also referee prize fight. How do you, miss,
miss Marilyn Monroe? Marilyn Monroe, Miss Monroe, I happened to
be a bachelor of very steady habits.

Speaker 22 (01:40:30):
If you pay a.

Speaker 2 (01:40:31):
Minute, do you think you can take this woman to
be your wife?

Speaker 57 (01:40:34):
I do?

Speaker 2 (01:40:34):
And you, Marilyn Monroe, Holy smokes, I'm getting married here.

Speaker 56 (01:40:40):
Get on with the boy.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
We'll be late for our honeymoon. I came here to
marry Charlie. Well, why take him when you can have
this great big bundle of joy all for your old
I may not be young, but I'm still cooking with gas,
got the fust.

Speaker 56 (01:41:01):
For I wish I was dead. Mister. Nothing can make
me change my mind.

Speaker 2 (01:41:08):
So will you please go on with the ceremony? All right,
young man, let me see your license, ver certificated physical tests.
You hear the eye of all all the stuff. M Ah,
that's the nastiest huh.

Speaker 29 (01:41:22):
I ever heard, young man?

Speaker 15 (01:41:24):
I can't marry you.

Speaker 2 (01:41:25):
In fact, no one can marry you. Look at the
result of your physical test. What did you say?

Speaker 15 (01:41:30):
No blood?

Speaker 56 (01:41:31):
No blood, no, just slapped shin, Edgar Bergan. We'll be
back in a moment.

Speaker 36 (01:41:54):
Shine.

Speaker 2 (01:41:57):
Your hair can really shine if you know the secret
and the secret in every bottle of Richard Hutnut and
rich Cream shampoo. You can see the shine right in
the bottle, and after one shampoo you'll.

Speaker 56 (01:42:11):
See the shine in your hair.

Speaker 10 (01:42:16):
Ye.

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
The difference in Richard Hotnut and rich Cream shampoo is this,
It's made with real egg formula. You know that egg
is a natural beautifire for your hair, and siatists agree
about that. Richard Hutnut shampoo with real egg formula makes
even dull dry hair shining, clean, shining, bright and beautiful.

(01:42:41):
Get the shampoo with shine in it, Richard Hutnut and
rich Cream shampoo.

Speaker 56 (01:42:47):
Don't wait a minute, mister Baldwyn. Here I am again.
I've brought you to bet your eggs for that sudden
look shampoo.

Speaker 2 (01:42:52):
That's wonderful, Mortimer. Well, look, one of these eggs is
so much larger than the others. Why is that?

Speaker 56 (01:42:57):
Well, one of my hands is an awful show the Morning.
Now here's Necgar Berga.

Speaker 2 (01:43:12):
I would like to thank Marilyn Monroe for helping us
stan so much fun tonight until next Sunday. Then goodnight everyone.
Remember to listen to let Grebergan, mcconny mccontay, more than
a said Raynovo, and the Empire Ensemble wa to you
buy Richard Hutton not a VIP avenue every Sunday over

(01:43:33):
the CBS Radio Network. At the same time, the voices
of Gabriel, Peter, Martha Got three, Walter Went to the
Winston Churchill were played by Dave Berry. Marilyn Monroe appeared
to the courtesy of twentieth Century five producers of the
due Eplanic technical of production The Snows of Killemanzero the
Night Take a Bergan Joe with Jack Kirkwood was producing
flans Pipe in Hollywood.

Speaker 56 (01:43:52):
By fan pairs. This is Bill Baldwin thinking.

Speaker 2 (01:44:02):
Thank you now from the Playhouse on Broadway, which fodels
immediately on most of these same stations. This is the
CBS Radio.

Speaker 5 (01:44:09):
Network seventy three years ago, November ninth, nineteen fifty two,
Edgar Bergen Show Here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt
talks visit our web page at Classic Radio dot stream
to support the program. You can also check out Professor
Bees digestibate. That's another way you can support the show.

(01:44:31):
But if you go to Classic Radio dot stream you
can also find other ways to support the show. Other
things for purchase the Professor Bees promo code Wyatt and
save ten percent and support the podcast. Coming up next
here a half hour with Lomon Abner.

Speaker 16 (01:44:55):
There is a defense against radioactive fallout during enemy attack.
Get to a sheltering met idiately, stay there until local
officials advise you it's safe to leave.

Speaker 17 (01:45:03):
Be prepared.

Speaker 5 (01:45:05):
Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt talks. We go back seventy
six years to another Sunday, November ninth, nineteen forty nine
for an episode of Lammon Abner as Lamb writes an opry.

Speaker 63 (01:45:18):
The Lomon Abner Show on the air for rigidaires of
general voters.

Speaker 64 (01:45:27):
We did the brand new comedy show with mits Edna
bast Andy the Vine, Mit Dasu Pitt, musing by Opie
Kate and starring Lum and Abner.

Speaker 55 (01:45:47):
Abner.

Speaker 6 (01:45:47):
Why wasn't you at the meeting of the Pine Ridge
Culture and Uplifting Society last night? For we always have
it at the pooh Hale. Oh yeah, Amner, it's terrible.
It just ain't no excuse for the lack of culture
around here. And I told him so last night.

Speaker 42 (01:46:03):
He did huh, Yes, sir.

Speaker 6 (01:46:04):
I stood ride up, flat foot it and demanded that
pine Ridge have a higher standard of ignorance sub fellow members,
I said, the citizens of pine Ridge is just plain ignorant,
and I'm going to set an example for you.

Speaker 42 (01:46:17):
You're just a fella can do it too, thank you.

Speaker 6 (01:46:20):
So, aftering the meeting was over, I went right home
and rode an opera. Yeah, well that was rolla opera
for sure, in one evening. Of course, it weren't nothing
for a feller of my combined talents and genius.

Speaker 42 (01:46:32):
What kind of an opera?

Speaker 2 (01:46:33):
Is it?

Speaker 42 (01:46:33):
Horse?

Speaker 36 (01:46:34):
Or so?

Speaker 57 (01:46:34):
No?

Speaker 42 (01:46:36):
I like that horse opera that hoff along Cassidy, he's
my favorite.

Speaker 6 (01:46:40):
Wait a minute, I'm talking about singing opera.

Speaker 42 (01:46:42):
Oh Hoppy, don't sing?

Speaker 6 (01:46:43):
I know it.

Speaker 42 (01:46:44):
His horse ain't bad.

Speaker 6 (01:46:48):
I'm talking about grand opera, and mine is grand.

Speaker 42 (01:46:51):
All folks don't care if about opera these days.

Speaker 6 (01:46:55):
Oh no, I read the other day. When the opera
opened in New York, the.

Speaker 42 (01:46:58):
House was packed, had it in a packing house.

Speaker 2 (01:47:01):
Huh.

Speaker 6 (01:47:02):
I bound you. Some day my offer be playing in
New York too. Who knows, someday I might wind up
in the.

Speaker 42 (01:47:09):
Mess I don't.

Speaker 6 (01:47:12):
Cause you said met I'll be in the Hall of Fame.
They might even make a bust of me.

Speaker 42 (01:47:17):
Yes, you don't beat them to it, all right, smarty.

Speaker 6 (01:47:21):
Just wait all a night on my offera when folks
seen me all decked out in my arch peggio, standing
up there on my cadenzo with my prosenium arch. They
don't know Pine Ridge is in pro load of culture.

Speaker 42 (01:47:49):
Well, mister, a beef of them. How's the opera?

Speaker 6 (01:47:52):
Everything's going fine except for one little thing.

Speaker 2 (01:47:55):
What's that?

Speaker 6 (01:47:56):
The ticket? Thing's selling? That's the safest way to have it,
and I can't understand it. I've put ever ouncer telling
I've got in this opera.

Speaker 42 (01:48:04):
Maybe an't sing him up.

Speaker 6 (01:48:06):
I put my heart and soul in it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:08):
Christ don't sound like much of a cast off hand,
I'd say, folks are rather see actors.

Speaker 42 (01:48:13):
What you need Loam is a big star.

Speaker 6 (01:48:15):
Yeah, well, wait a minute, Cranny is admir I believe
you give me a ida. Oh God for me, I
know how I can get this opera mind to play
the standing room.

Speaker 42 (01:48:25):
I mean, he gonna take out all the seats.

Speaker 6 (01:48:28):
So I'm gonna do like they do in New York.
Get me an opera star that'll sell tickets.

Speaker 42 (01:48:33):
Now, where can you get an opera star that'll sell tickets?

Speaker 6 (01:48:38):
First?

Speaker 42 (01:48:38):
I wanna sing?

Speaker 28 (01:48:39):
I know that.

Speaker 6 (01:48:40):
And what I'm talking about is singers like Gladys Wardhouse,
Kirsten flag Job. I might try for one of them
men Operatic flag, Florence Tidbit.

Speaker 42 (01:48:51):
He sounds nice.

Speaker 6 (01:48:52):
I tell you who I wish I could get Caruso?

Speaker 2 (01:48:57):
Who's he?

Speaker 42 (01:48:58):
Who is he?

Speaker 6 (01:48:59):
And there's a perfect example of the kind of ignorance
that prevails around here. Never hear the Caruso?

Speaker 42 (01:49:05):
Well, I'm sorry, what's his first name?

Speaker 6 (01:49:08):
Robinson?

Speaker 36 (01:49:13):
Why?

Speaker 2 (01:49:13):
Sure?

Speaker 42 (01:49:14):
What's the matter of me? Him and Friday was in
the original cast of South Pacific.

Speaker 6 (01:49:20):
Wait a minute, Hower comes Opie Kate. Now, I've got
the Silver Corn that band to play for the offer,
and Opie's going to be my conductor.

Speaker 42 (01:49:27):
Conductor for sure.

Speaker 6 (01:49:28):
You ain't have an offer without a conductor.

Speaker 42 (01:49:30):
Oh going to take the show on the road.

Speaker 2 (01:49:32):
Huh. If you want a conductor, why didn't you get
old Joe Davis at the county seat. He's with the
Southern Pacific for forty years.

Speaker 6 (01:49:40):
I mean a musical conductor.

Speaker 42 (01:49:42):
Why he's musical. He all us workers while he's taking
up tickets.

Speaker 6 (01:49:48):
Hello, oh, heid, opie, how's the band practice going at
the firehouse?

Speaker 2 (01:49:52):
Well?

Speaker 22 (01:49:52):
Pretty goods up?

Speaker 2 (01:49:53):
Last night we had a little accident accident. Yeah, you see,
as ree Sistrunt was practicing on his tub when somebody turned.

Speaker 15 (01:50:01):
In the fire alarm.

Speaker 2 (01:50:02):
Oh oh, from Foster has let down the pole right
into the tuber.

Speaker 22 (01:50:07):
He ran that thing clear down on every's throat.

Speaker 6 (01:50:10):
Why that's terrible. How's he gonna eat?

Speaker 2 (01:50:13):
Well that was kind of a problem at first, but
finally they just filled it up with soup and flushed it.

Speaker 42 (01:50:34):
Now that's what I call clear thinking. When the hell
feller comes to take up plan something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:50:41):
Anyway, old fellas has different reasons.

Speaker 56 (01:50:44):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:50:45):
I took up the saxophone once, but I had to
give it up stretched my mouth all out of shade
at the shame.

Speaker 6 (01:50:52):
Took me two years before.

Speaker 2 (01:50:54):
I found out I've been blowing that thing on the
wrong end.

Speaker 42 (01:51:00):
Well, Opie, how come you to take up the clarinet?

Speaker 6 (01:51:02):
Well, you see one time.

Speaker 2 (01:51:04):
Over ed Earl bid ball store over and Clinton d
clarinet on the punch board, and.

Speaker 9 (01:51:09):
Earl gave it to me.

Speaker 42 (01:51:10):
Well that was my detority of Did that start your
musical career?

Speaker 2 (01:51:14):
Of course, nut? Whoever heard of anybody playing a punchboard?

Speaker 36 (01:51:20):
Well?

Speaker 42 (01:51:20):
What about the clarinet?

Speaker 10 (01:51:21):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
I took that enroll in the Clinton Conservatory of Music.

Speaker 6 (01:51:26):
The Clinton Conservatory and now wait a minute, Opie, did
any famous singers ever graduate from there? Yeah, there was
one fellow graduating from there.

Speaker 2 (01:51:33):
It went pretty far. He made a lot of phonographs records.

Speaker 6 (01:51:36):
Oh that's wonderful, Opie. I reckon you could get him
to come singing my opera.

Speaker 2 (01:51:40):
Oh sure, I know I can. I gotta go over
to Clinton anyway. I'll bring him back this afternoon.

Speaker 6 (01:51:46):
Well good for you. Now you're sure he's a big star.
Oh yeah, I got one of his new records just
the other day, Granny's Opie, you've saved my life. Yeah,
get on over there and get him. If you have
to kidnap and hurry recollect the opera tomorrow night, don't
you worry. I'll have him here or just a second ode.
I want to get that record he is, and play it.
What's the name of it? I don't know. You don't

(01:52:07):
know you played it, didn't you?

Speaker 53 (01:52:09):
Yeah, but I couldn't read the.

Speaker 6 (01:52:10):
Label because the record was going round so fast, hot
Dog Gavner, These tickets are going like hotcakes since I
announced we're going to have a big opera star.

Speaker 42 (01:52:29):
Yeah, some offera star. Don't even know his name.

Speaker 6 (01:52:31):
Well, that don't make no difference as long as folks
knows he's a big star.

Speaker 42 (01:52:34):
Yeah. Well, I reckon, you're right. Here comes Luke Spear,
And from the rate he's traveling, he must have heard
about it.

Speaker 36 (01:52:40):
That's not gonnaheaded. Nephew might have been in here.

Speaker 43 (01:52:44):
Why, yeah, Lucy, Why why I'm gonna read his neck long.

Speaker 42 (01:52:48):
I'm telling him to Clinton to get an Offera star.

Speaker 65 (01:52:51):
Offresh sir as, Yes, dandy, you better get one to
know how to.

Speaker 55 (01:52:54):
Work, gets it. He'll have to file up.

Speaker 42 (01:52:56):
A mile high in my record.

Speaker 6 (01:52:58):
We'll just calm yourself down, Luke, you'll be right back
by the way. Would you like a couple of tickets
for my opera?

Speaker 57 (01:53:03):
No?

Speaker 29 (01:53:04):
I hear enough beller at my arrested about the pose.

Speaker 6 (01:53:09):
Well, now look you out to yourself to see this opera.
I'm presenting the tragic story of Sampson and Delias.

Speaker 42 (01:53:15):
I don't care you're presenting Sam and Antonio. I ain't
back here by supper time.

Speaker 65 (01:53:21):
I'll poverize it.

Speaker 6 (01:53:22):
Wait, Luke, don't run off man. Now, if you won't
jump on, op, I'll give you two tickets to the opera.

Speaker 43 (01:53:26):
Oh wow, thank you very much.

Speaker 55 (01:53:29):
I'll enjoy it.

Speaker 6 (01:53:30):
Enjoy thought.

Speaker 42 (01:53:31):
You said you hated Offera. I do, but that's one'll
be a pleasure. Huh, I guess blew the tube of
my Harry Hagge.

Speaker 6 (01:53:49):
Let's see now. The costumes is all here, the cast
is casted, tickets all printed, Granny is and I wish
to OPI you'd get back here. I'm just dying. I
know who my big star is.

Speaker 42 (01:53:59):
That would be sort of lie.

Speaker 15 (01:54:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 42 (01:54:01):
He must be pretty good though, if he makes records
for the Grammarphone.

Speaker 6 (01:54:04):
Wait, man, here comes miss Pitch. She must be coming
over to do a little rehearsing.

Speaker 2 (01:54:08):
Rehearsing.

Speaker 6 (01:54:09):
Yeah, she's playing the female feminine leading lady.

Speaker 42 (01:54:13):
He's gonna be busy, ain't she.

Speaker 55 (01:54:17):
Well?

Speaker 6 (01:54:17):
Come in, Miss Pitch? How's my singing leading lady? Today?

Speaker 65 (01:54:21):
I'm feeling just fine.

Speaker 43 (01:54:23):
And how are you, my dear mister Edward?

Speaker 6 (01:54:26):
Oh oheous dandy?

Speaker 36 (01:54:28):
And how is your little pardner?

Speaker 56 (01:54:30):
Mister Tabody?

Speaker 42 (01:54:33):
This is making me a little shame.

Speaker 6 (01:54:38):
And would get cut that out? Well, miss Fitch, we
better get started rehearsing. We got a lot of work
to do.

Speaker 65 (01:54:44):
Oh my, isn't it thrilling?

Speaker 15 (01:54:46):
Mister Edwards?

Speaker 36 (01:54:47):
Imagine me on the stage.

Speaker 42 (01:54:50):
It takes my breath away, too bad? He keeps coming back.

Speaker 6 (01:54:56):
Now that'll be enough out of you.

Speaker 65 (01:54:57):
Oh, mister Edwards, I'm so out of you writing an opera.
Who knows you may compose sonatas, cantatas and concertos like Mozar.

Speaker 6 (01:55:09):
Well, let's might be all right for mole, but I
figured on write music.

Speaker 36 (01:55:14):
You're know.

Speaker 65 (01:55:15):
The thing that touches me most is that you chose
me to play the leading role of Delilah. Why I'm
not very young?

Speaker 6 (01:55:23):
Or sure you are?

Speaker 65 (01:55:24):
I'm not glader?

Speaker 36 (01:55:26):
Yes you are, I'm not beautiful. Well don't stop now
keep arguing.

Speaker 6 (01:55:36):
Take my word, virtue fit the part perfect? Now, Miss Pitts.
Would you mind loosening your vocal cords?

Speaker 28 (01:55:41):
Why?

Speaker 42 (01:55:42):
Love letter to you old rast?

Speaker 6 (01:55:51):
I mean, would you mind doing some vocal exercises. Oh, now,
let me hear you sing the scale?

Speaker 65 (01:55:57):
Do ramie fasso.

Speaker 6 (01:55:58):
Lati, don't just a little higher?

Speaker 15 (01:56:00):
Please do rainy for so lot?

Speaker 28 (01:56:03):
You do?

Speaker 65 (01:56:04):
Don't rainy for so lo?

Speaker 6 (01:56:11):
Now, Abner, look what you've done? You spring my leading
ladies boys box, missis, speak to me, Speak to me.

Speaker 46 (01:56:17):
I can't have lost my voice, Jen, Now I can sing.

Speaker 17 (01:56:22):
Oh this is terrible.

Speaker 6 (01:56:23):
Now what am I gonna do.

Speaker 42 (01:56:24):
Well with the leading lady without a voice and the
leading man without a name? A bout all you can
do is put on the Phantom of the opera.

Speaker 6 (01:56:45):
No, Liam, I will not do it.

Speaker 42 (01:56:47):
I will not play the part of the light Adner.

Speaker 6 (01:56:49):
You've got you. I'm in a small no, no, no,
no no.

Speaker 42 (01:56:52):
But I ain't done yet.

Speaker 6 (01:56:54):
No, I've auditioned everybody around it.

Speaker 56 (01:56:58):
An.

Speaker 6 (01:56:58):
You just wouldn't believe the sound that come out of
some human being, he fellow, I see what you mean, Hello,
Annie Lamb.

Speaker 43 (01:57:08):
I just dropped in to buy two seats for the opera,
two seats.

Speaker 42 (01:57:12):
Ain't you gonna take nobody with you?

Speaker 6 (01:57:18):
There ain't no session buying tickets, Danny, it ain't gonna
be opera offer.

Speaker 9 (01:57:22):
But I heard you got a big star.

Speaker 6 (01:57:24):
I have, but I just lost one of my leading characters.

Speaker 17 (01:57:26):
Oh that's too bad.

Speaker 9 (01:57:29):
Maybe the ache and.

Speaker 42 (01:57:30):
Fill the part bill it, you'd overflow it.

Speaker 9 (01:57:34):
Why you hold on there, Abner, I've got hid in.

Speaker 42 (01:57:38):
Townel and if they're not heading, they're just scattered all
over the landscape.

Speaker 6 (01:57:44):
And it might work. And I'm just desperate enough to
take a chance.

Speaker 42 (01:57:48):
Long Heat can't sing. His voice sounds like somebody had
throwed a handful of gravel into a mixmaster.

Speaker 46 (01:57:54):
No, there ain't nothing wrong with my voice. Just the
other day I was singing in the shower and I
hit ah.

Speaker 6 (01:58:00):
I see, Well that's an awful high o Andy. Do
you think you could do it in the offering?

Speaker 10 (01:58:04):
Sure?

Speaker 46 (01:58:04):
If you got a hot water pipe for me to
back into it.

Speaker 6 (01:58:11):
Well, anyway, Andy, you get the party, you will make
a wonderful Delilah.

Speaker 15 (01:58:14):
Well Frank Mamma, so islah.

Speaker 2 (01:58:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:58:19):
See, miss Pits come down with the case of Larry
Jaidon a whole case. Why are we going to open it?
And you're replacing miss Pitt.

Speaker 43 (01:58:29):
Oh but Lom, I can't play the part of a woman.

Speaker 17 (01:58:33):
Everybody laugh at me.

Speaker 6 (01:58:35):
No they won't. We'll put a wig on you. And
a lot of makeup. They won't eat no what you
till you open your mouth.

Speaker 42 (01:58:41):
The thame.

Speaker 36 (01:58:43):
Olama.

Speaker 6 (01:58:44):
I don't want to do it, but Andy, you're perfect
for the parts. You know how Delilah cuts off Sampson's hair.
Oh sure, you're a barber. It'll be a great advertising
for you, I know. But I'll tell you what, Andy,
We'll have the address of your barbershop sold on the
back of your costume.

Speaker 46 (01:59:00):
Well, all right, while I'm all do it, gosh, imagine
me and.

Speaker 6 (01:59:05):
I for a singer to mend.

Speaker 36 (01:59:12):
Way.

Speaker 42 (01:59:14):
That voice is more likely what drove them flying fish
out of the river.

Speaker 6 (01:59:31):
I'm open your bag.

Speaker 2 (01:59:32):
Yep, I made it.

Speaker 55 (01:59:33):
You just did.

Speaker 6 (01:59:38):
Where's the big singing star? Now, don't tell me you
didn't find it?

Speaker 45 (01:59:42):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:59:42):
Age here he's waiting out, saying it, Well, how do
you do, sir as I'm part of the Pine Ray
Joffrett is a pleasure and an honor to welcome a
musical Opla got up. You're staying in our fair city?

Speaker 55 (01:59:55):
Is yours?

Speaker 6 (01:59:56):
Your wishes are command anything you want you.

Speaker 43 (01:59:59):
Have but to he did not take off my shoes.

Speaker 36 (02:00:02):
My feet are killing me.

Speaker 55 (02:00:07):
What it's the buttons on him?

Speaker 6 (02:00:09):
On to have him saying over, then he's ophy this this,
this is the big singing star. Yeah, he's pretty famous,
this famous.

Speaker 43 (02:00:18):
Who in the world are you, Tennessee Ernie.

Speaker 51 (02:00:44):
Hurcan hurkin?

Speaker 6 (02:00:48):
Have you seen that Tennessee Ernie.

Speaker 42 (02:00:49):
I think he's in his dressing her.

Speaker 6 (02:00:51):
Well, I gotta go talk to him.

Speaker 42 (02:00:53):
Yeah, well, before you do, I'll give me a hand
laced land into this course. I don't know why I
ever agreed to be so ill just be quiet, Andy,
I'll take a deep breath grabbing lad. I'm well here
you are now, Andy, out your breath.

Speaker 6 (02:01:20):
Hell, here we go again. Yeah, you take care of me.

Speaker 2 (02:01:23):
Man.

Speaker 6 (02:01:23):
Now I gotta find Ernie.

Speaker 36 (02:01:24):
All right, okay the life pull it in again.

Speaker 6 (02:01:28):
Say Tennessee Ernie, I miss.

Speaker 55 (02:01:33):
You're in my old brown me tell you I'm glad you.

Speaker 2 (02:01:38):
Come in here.

Speaker 6 (02:01:39):
I'm having awful time to get this makeup on my face. Well,
there ain't nothing to it now, I'm.

Speaker 55 (02:01:44):
Not see you get your head in this little bottle.

Speaker 6 (02:01:49):
Now look here at Tennethy or Ernie or whatever your
name is.

Speaker 55 (02:01:52):
It's Henny see Ernie. They called me that because I
was born in Georgia.

Speaker 6 (02:01:57):
Why don't they Why don't they call you Georgia Ernie.

Speaker 55 (02:02:00):
I'd be sit.

Speaker 6 (02:02:04):
Blame that Opie. I told him to get me a
famous singer.

Speaker 55 (02:02:07):
I'm famous. I made a record of news.

Speaker 6 (02:02:10):
Well, who hasn't it. I don't mean nothing tonight. You're
going to be singing grand offera.

Speaker 55 (02:02:18):
I can sing anything.

Speaker 6 (02:02:20):
Well, it ain't the way you sing, or and it's
the way you talk.

Speaker 55 (02:02:23):
I never went to school.

Speaker 6 (02:02:25):
I like myself all.

Speaker 36 (02:02:26):
I know.

Speaker 6 (02:02:27):
It's just that you sounds the country and it ain't
hardly time. But I'm gonna give you some lessons. You
need elocution. You know what elocution isn't two.

Speaker 55 (02:02:37):
I lost my daddy and two brothers that way.

Speaker 6 (02:02:45):
Now, I mean, we've got to improve your denunciation. I
hear say that.

Speaker 57 (02:02:50):
A E.

Speaker 36 (02:02:51):
I owe you a E.

Speaker 55 (02:02:54):
I owe you all.

Speaker 6 (02:02:58):
You all. I told you I was born in Georgia.
I tried this one. You got a quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy dog.

Speaker 55 (02:03:06):
Whose dog is that?

Speaker 6 (02:03:09):
It don't make no difference anybody's dog, but it does.

Speaker 36 (02:03:11):
Two.

Speaker 55 (02:03:12):
If it's one of mine, I want to know, nobody
gonna swamp him off.

Speaker 6 (02:03:16):
Well it wasn't one of yours.

Speaker 55 (02:03:18):
Must have been su downter nasty dog them dogs are here.
Don't know sickom Now, shoot, he's got a pretty good nose.

Speaker 42 (02:03:28):
Long.

Speaker 55 (02:03:28):
The curtains about to go off.

Speaker 42 (02:03:29):
You better get out there.

Speaker 6 (02:03:30):
I'll be right with you, Ernie. For goodness sakes, don't
let me down.

Speaker 55 (02:03:34):
Oh long, come on, come on, a house that's haacked.

Speaker 42 (02:03:37):
Everybody in town, come to see Tennessee.

Speaker 6 (02:03:39):
Arn't the old goodness? Where's my notes? No, yeah, I'm
gonna narrate the offera like that color Dems trailer. Here
they are here, they are Get out there all the stage, Granny,
this is my big moment. It is my hair tiede earn.

Speaker 42 (02:03:52):
My next tack on, long, don't lose your head.

Speaker 6 (02:03:54):
Head, Oh my goodness, where is it?

Speaker 28 (02:03:56):
Where?

Speaker 2 (02:03:56):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:03:57):
Having her? Stop that I get out of them all?

Speaker 42 (02:03:59):
Here here a goo out flaps down, kid. This is
what you've been training for.

Speaker 6 (02:04:10):
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It does my heart good
to know that the people of pine Ridge is so
interested in a higher type of illiteracy. And now let's start.
I see that Maestro op Case is descending the podium,

(02:04:35):
and from a sitting position on his podium, he conducts
the pine Ridge Silver Cornets vand in the fort and
pheasant overture. Maestro, thank you now.

Speaker 55 (02:05:04):
We would like to.

Speaker 15 (02:05:11):
Thank you now.

Speaker 6 (02:05:12):
We thank you now.

Speaker 36 (02:05:21):
We will let you.

Speaker 15 (02:05:26):
Hope.

Speaker 6 (02:05:27):
Will you cut that out.

Speaker 55 (02:05:31):
Now?

Speaker 6 (02:05:32):
The house likes them. As we bring you acron of
Samson and Delilah. The curtain rises, the scene a circus. Sampson,
a strong man comes out and things to an admiring crowd.

Speaker 51 (02:05:51):
My name ye.

Speaker 36 (02:05:58):
In my blood and I mean drum and the mole,
and I.

Speaker 51 (02:06:10):
Back in sight of my brain and my heart ower
drain bond palap.

Speaker 6 (02:06:25):
Delilah enters. He's the tattooed lady. He's got sect a
few written all over. That's a crazy thing.

Speaker 43 (02:06:35):
The lim of the girl with the color grave losing.

Speaker 36 (02:06:38):
The fool all if you want to go the summer,
my poor.

Speaker 2 (02:06:59):
Phantom.

Speaker 6 (02:06:59):
Pauls in love with Delilah. He ain't got time to
buy an engagement ring, so he picks up a crowbar
and bends it into the shape of a lover's mouth.
He presents it to her.

Speaker 55 (02:07:09):
I would not marry a fucking carry my door.

Speaker 43 (02:07:18):
Heavy phone.

Speaker 6 (02:07:22):
Delilah's things.

Speaker 43 (02:07:23):
Her answers, no fuss that ever, staying my.

Speaker 6 (02:07:36):
Quars, well, pull yourself together and you're filling up the stage.
Now we're are gosh, oh yeah. Delilah tells Sampson that
she's in love with Bobo the Clowns. At this point, Bobo.

Speaker 43 (02:07:52):
Entered, hurry.

Speaker 6 (02:07:55):
All yah, and no that ain't necessair.

Speaker 42 (02:08:05):
The biggest laugh we've got all over, All right, let's.

Speaker 6 (02:08:12):
Get on my day offer. When Delilah sees Bobo, she
rushes up to him in things an area all county.

Speaker 46 (02:08:19):
Where my houseb fire or you are urns.

Speaker 6 (02:08:26):
Sorbery, to which he replies, yes, her feels.

Speaker 55 (02:08:33):
Fine, that's my.

Speaker 52 (02:08:35):
Cat.

Speaker 15 (02:08:36):
Her feels over and over.

Speaker 6 (02:08:38):
I am Damson is overcame with jealousy. He grabbed Bobo
by the throat.

Speaker 62 (02:08:46):
Face and.

Speaker 55 (02:08:53):
I'm not afraid of you.

Speaker 36 (02:08:56):
Lily live the li will being me right, may about
the light of me, all dude, not make me lie.

Speaker 6 (02:09:19):
Then that Sampson is going to come between them. Bo
Boy and Delilah decided to cut off Sampsom's hair, so
we lose all of his strengths.

Speaker 42 (02:09:26):
We'll tie off his hair.

Speaker 46 (02:09:31):
He's make me my cake, all give me NHase and
these you says my prices.

Speaker 15 (02:09:40):
All right, we're open all.

Speaker 62 (02:09:46):
Quick.

Speaker 6 (02:09:47):
I just said to give you your address, not a
spot announcement anyway, After all that haircut and Sansom looks
like Mount Baldy, the lovers and to escape. But the
next morning they meet Sampson and he has grown a
new crop of hair. They can't understand how he grew
hair surpast, but he answers the question for the He

(02:10:15):
have the lid up of the army.

Speaker 55 (02:10:20):
You're going with me?

Speaker 36 (02:10:24):
Oh no, I know.

Speaker 8 (02:10:27):
You cannot boom.

Speaker 36 (02:10:37):
Well you.

Speaker 64 (02:10:55):
Fibity comming over hill and flames.

Speaker 15 (02:10:59):
How they neighbor.

Speaker 64 (02:11:00):
Stops Liberty clubs, Liberty Club, Liberty, Cliptyberty, Cipy.

Speaker 15 (02:11:04):
Cleverly com.

Speaker 56 (02:11:08):
Bemaut beauty.

Speaker 15 (02:11:19):
Every coming along the mountain James.

Speaker 64 (02:11:23):
Soon they're going to read stop Liberty Clubs, three bating Club, Creby.

Speaker 15 (02:11:27):
Cipy, Clipperty, Clifty, Liberty coming along.

Speaker 6 (02:11:32):
There's a public com back of miny throw a get
on for the cow all.

Speaker 64 (02:11:37):
The way out in Irisomer addressed mechanical for the pretty nav.

Speaker 15 (02:11:44):
Get alonge, get along, Muty Liberty coming through the wind

(02:12:10):
and rain.

Speaker 64 (02:12:12):
They keep them going till they drop threeby claps the
by clump leavey coming. There's some copple red lead a
napo the wind then a devil food murder who left
me on the wander.

Speaker 15 (02:12:28):
Some room and hid the pills for the seminars in
the heill. Get along, Get along, bet.

Speaker 55 (02:13:25):
Come on the lary. I'm gonna take you some preacher.

Speaker 2 (02:13:28):
Okay, sam.

Speaker 25 (02:13:34):
War they bring a wagon in your firm.

Speaker 6 (02:13:37):
You forgot to pis some harder tall.

Speaker 2 (02:13:47):
And so Samsonon hitched the ladder and they were hit
dur when they started them ule train of their on.

Speaker 66 (02:13:53):
Then you may have heard us mentioned once or twice
at this fall. You hear them all on CBS. This
same holds true for this winter too. Here's just a

(02:14:13):
reminder of Sunday nights on CBS. Sunday nights when you
hear the superb comedy party of e Varden, Jack, Benny Amoson,
Andy ed Grin, Charlie Red Skeltman calla archer them two's.
There's the Family Hour, the Contented Hour, and Horse Height.

Speaker 6 (02:14:26):
Yes, this fall you.

Speaker 66 (02:14:27):
Hear them all on most of these same stations.

Speaker 6 (02:14:33):
Lemon Abner shows back next week and every week at
the same time with Andy Devine, Jason Smith, James Trout.
Music by Opic Gates, written by Betty Boyle and Jay Thommers,
directed by Very Burn Our thanks to Tennessee Ernie who
appeared as Luman Abner's guests Tonight ball Masters and speaking.

Speaker 66 (02:14:49):
This is CBS the Columbia Roncastay.

Speaker 10 (02:15:03):
And I was wrong.

Speaker 5 (02:15:04):
This show ran on Wednesday Night, ten thirty pm, November ninth,
nineteen forty nine. Here on Classic Radio Theater, Big Night.
You had mister Chameleon, Doctor Christian, Groucho Marx and you
bet your life bing Crosby, George and Gracie and Lomon Abner.

(02:15:25):
Big Night per CBS. All right, we continue now on
Classic Radio Theater with a quarter hour of Lomon Abner.
That will be up next.

Speaker 24 (02:15:41):
Every family should have a home shelter area. Every family
should stock that shelter area with a two week supply
of food and water. Prepare now to survive disaster.

Speaker 5 (02:15:51):
And we wrap up this program with the quarter hour
of London Abner. As we go back as they're trying
to get to Mars. This episode of the program maybe
three years ago November nine, nineteen forty two.

Speaker 17 (02:16:04):
The makers of Alka Seltzer bring you Lom and Abner friends.

(02:16:57):
Have you accepted the invitation of the makers of Alka
Seltzer to try their famous one a day brand Vitamin
B Complex tablets. Well, if you haven't yet, you'll want to,
because by taking just one one a day BE Complex
tablet once a day, you can be sure that you
get ample amounts of the B vitamins, those vitamins that
are so important as strong nerves, healthy digestion, and abundant energy.

(02:17:21):
Now'll notice I said take only one one a day
Vitamin B complex tablet once a day. You see, this
brand is so high in vitamin content that a single
tablet taken daily supplies you with your full minimum daily
supply of all the B vitamins for which requirements have
been established. Now, think of that for convenience and for economy.

(02:17:41):
So ask your druggist for one a day brand Vitamin
B Complex tablets right away, and just see how much
they can do for you, and say, you'd better get
a package of one a day brand Vitamin A and
D tablets two because you will also need ample amounts
of these vitamins during the long heart winter months ahead.
Remember the brand with that big one on the package

(02:18:03):
is the one to buy. Now, let's see what's going
on down in Pine Ridge. Well, the Mars rocket ship
is nearing completion as Cedric and Abner labored daily on
its construction. Lum directs the work by remote control from
the Jotham Downstore and library, while Squire Skimp, self appointed

(02:18:27):
treasurer for the Mars Expedition Corporation, continues to worry about
the bills that are pouring into his office. As we
look in on the little community today, we find Abner
at the observatory busily applying varnish to the outside of
the rocket ship.

Speaker 29 (02:18:44):
Listen, Oh, they cut down the old pine tree and
they hold it away to me.

Speaker 6 (02:18:54):
Boy, look at the big can of varnish I got
this time.

Speaker 17 (02:18:57):
Mister Abner.

Speaker 29 (02:18:58):
Huh oh you back, said yes, Mama.

Speaker 17 (02:19:00):
I got the biggest one that was in the store.

Speaker 29 (02:19:02):
Well, good for you man, in order to be plenty
to finish your rocket ship with.

Speaker 17 (02:19:07):
I believe mister Dick Hutson wasn't in the store, so
I just picked this out myself. Well, then I left
him a note saying I taking this. Ah, I never
wanted him to think I stole it.

Speaker 29 (02:19:17):
Why of course, Now, well he won't think, Aunt Sebby.

Speaker 17 (02:19:20):
I said for him to charge it to mister Squire.

Speaker 29 (02:19:22):
Yeah, well that's a thing to do. Yeah, you done right,
said sure?

Speaker 17 (02:19:27):
Easy buying stuff nowadays, ain't it?

Speaker 2 (02:19:29):
Hi?

Speaker 17 (02:19:29):
All you got to do is say charge it to
mister squh.

Speaker 29 (02:19:32):
Yeah, yes, sir. You know, at first I was a
little worried about Squire pinting yourself treasurebere in Mars Corporation.
But I know you all have to add me that
chore working out good?

Speaker 17 (02:19:45):
Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 29 (02:19:46):
We can buy my by anything we need for the
rocket ship don't cost us nothing. Yeah, well, come on,
we better get started working here s this?

Speaker 17 (02:19:54):
Now? Where about? Do you want me to barney shed?

Speaker 36 (02:19:56):
Well?

Speaker 29 (02:19:57):
Uh, you work on this site here, Sedric, I've got
one coat put on. I believe it's drying.

Speaker 17 (02:20:03):
Eursolds.

Speaker 29 (02:20:04):
You can go ahead and put the second coat of
hornish on.

Speaker 17 (02:20:06):
Our work over here, have to put two coats on. Huh.

Speaker 29 (02:20:09):
That's what they cut us and told me when I
bought them first cans of hornish. Now come on, now,
let's get started.

Speaker 17 (02:20:15):
Don't talk what about my paintbrush, hat, cut.

Speaker 29 (02:20:19):
Down, the old pine tree and the hardy way to me?

Speaker 17 (02:20:27):
Well, this is fun, ain't it? Singing? Singing?

Speaker 29 (02:20:31):
And it is that new warnish you bought thin and
us Heedric, you think you ought to make something with it,
make it go on easier.

Speaker 17 (02:20:38):
No, Mama, I believe it's thinning there. It was on
awful easy.

Speaker 29 (02:20:41):
I think, uh huh, well that's good too, may cake
coffee a pine further that, sweetheart?

Speaker 17 (02:20:49):
How long you and mister I'm gonna stay up there
at Mars?

Speaker 29 (02:20:52):
Oh, I don't know, Harley Hedric. We ain't talk much
about it. I don't reckon we'll stay more in old
weak or ten something like you. Oh, ain't got no
relays up heart to visit. You know, wan't nobody to
stay with?

Speaker 17 (02:21:05):
No mom more likely have to stay at the hotel.
I reckon, Yeah, boarding.

Speaker 29 (02:21:09):
House one, I reckon, So find someplace to stay. Sure
wish I was going along, man, I wish she was too.
Sedric Fact says you'd be a help to us. You
could help drive the rocket ship that's gonna be off
a long trip. Sure be handy if we could all
just sort of take turns staring at you.

Speaker 17 (02:21:28):
Know there, you mean I can go well, No long
claims it won't.

Speaker 29 (02:21:32):
Be room Cedric and size. He says you're too heavy too.
I'll talk to him about it.

Speaker 17 (02:21:37):
Well, I could reduce myself, couldn't I I could go
barfooted leaving my shoes off, had cut off fifty or
thirty pounds.

Speaker 29 (02:21:44):
I think, yeah, well, I'll talk to Long about it again.
See what he says. Maybe if you do off of
good work on our rocket ship, why he lets you
go with us? Well? I ain't for sure, but he might.

Speaker 17 (02:21:59):
I'm doing good work now, ain't it?

Speaker 42 (02:22:01):
Oh?

Speaker 29 (02:22:01):
Yeah, yeah, you're doing all right, Cedric?

Speaker 17 (02:22:04):
For me, we'll come around on this side and look,
I want to make sure.

Speaker 29 (02:22:08):
Well, I ain't got time now.

Speaker 17 (02:22:11):
Look quick, come on, please do mister m all right.

Speaker 29 (02:22:15):
We ain't never gonna get this dead though, if I
got a stop every two minutes and come around there
and look at your work?

Speaker 36 (02:22:21):
What is it now?

Speaker 17 (02:22:22):
There?

Speaker 4 (02:22:23):
Oh?

Speaker 17 (02:22:25):
Pretty good, ain't it?

Speaker 29 (02:22:26):
It looks all right? Cedric?

Speaker 17 (02:22:27):
Been part of my left hand too?

Speaker 10 (02:22:29):
Well?

Speaker 2 (02:22:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 34 (02:22:31):
That?

Speaker 29 (02:22:32):
Or wait a minute, Cedric? Whereabouts have you been varnishing there?

Speaker 17 (02:22:36):
Right along? Right along here? I think right there?

Speaker 29 (02:22:40):
You sure been going off for Solore? Then I can't
hardly see no varnish on here. Tall in fact said,
it looks like there ain't no varnish on there.

Speaker 17 (02:22:49):
This one does look that way, don't it?

Speaker 56 (02:22:51):
Sure?

Speaker 17 (02:22:51):
It does, cause it's fresh.

Speaker 29 (02:22:53):
I reckon, well, maybe I just missed that place, sir.
When I put on that first coat, my spectacles to
get clouded up. That pain I can't see right, good
to be.

Speaker 17 (02:23:02):
On it, that must have been what happened, right, Yeah, yeah,
well I'll just put two coats on.

Speaker 29 (02:23:07):
There then, yeah, or too. He'll have to wait for
one of them to dry, though, said Ric, before you
put the other night on top of it. I'll get
that later quick as our finish on the other.

Speaker 17 (02:23:15):
Side now and then overcoat make up jokes now, quit talking,
go on, then get to work now, Well I'll work fast, honest, Well,
don't it.

Speaker 29 (02:23:25):
I don't want to get this varnish and all that
before long comes over here to the auberserving toward to
see how we're getting on on this one have a
Finnish spring, and he thinks we work too slow over
here to hear his tail of it. He just don't
know how much work is to be dead around here.
See now where do I set that can of warning shore?

Speaker 38 (02:23:42):
Here?

Speaker 15 (02:23:42):
Boy?

Speaker 17 (02:23:42):
Look at me go now, I'm sure making the feathers
fly over, cut down the old pine tree and holl wait,
I'm pretty good.

Speaker 29 (02:23:54):
At uh, yeah, what do you say about some feathers
just now?

Speaker 2 (02:24:01):
Oh?

Speaker 29 (02:24:01):
I said, I sure making them fly, That's what I said.
I think what feathers are you making fly?

Speaker 17 (02:24:09):
Mom?

Speaker 29 (02:24:09):
Have you got a chicken over on that side, Sedric?
Did you steal a chicken while you go?

Speaker 17 (02:24:15):
Of course not. I never stole a chicken my whole life.

Speaker 29 (02:24:19):
Well where about you getting all them feathers from them?

Speaker 42 (02:24:22):
Well?

Speaker 17 (02:24:22):
I ain't actually got no feathers, mister Abner.

Speaker 29 (02:24:25):
Well how could you make them fly if you ain't
gotten them?

Speaker 17 (02:24:28):
Well, let's see now, Yeah, I don't know how I
could do that hardly. Huh, that's too hard a question
for me to answer while I'm painting, Sadric.

Speaker 29 (02:24:37):
You ain't been hit on the head lately, have you,
my mom?

Speaker 17 (02:24:40):
I don't think I have. Ain't got no bumps on
my head, ain't sore, no place.

Speaker 29 (02:24:44):
Ain't fell down, see bumped into the side of a
door or nothing.

Speaker 17 (02:24:48):
No, no one ever done that.

Speaker 2 (02:24:50):
Hum.

Speaker 29 (02:24:51):
Well, you just trying now, and forget about the feathers, Sedric.
Just act like you never seen none at all. Concentrate
on your work, that's the thing.

Speaker 17 (02:25:00):
Concentrate. I'll have this. I'd done no time until hardy. Yeah, well,
you don't try.

Speaker 29 (02:25:05):
To do too much, Seedric. In fact, maybe that's your trouble.
Maybe I've been working you too hard, Shedry.

Speaker 17 (02:25:11):
Maybe so oh they cut down the old pine, mister Abne.
Will you come around here and look here once again?

Speaker 29 (02:25:18):
I ain't got time, Cedric, you're doing all r I
just go ahead now, I'm busy here this one.

Speaker 17 (02:25:23):
But are you sure you put one court of varnish
on this side already?

Speaker 2 (02:25:27):
Why?

Speaker 29 (02:25:27):
Of course I did, or at least wait I thought
I did. I must have missed at one place, sir,
but I know I got the rest of it.

Speaker 17 (02:25:35):
I don't much believe you did, mister Edwin.

Speaker 29 (02:25:37):
Why I did done it?

Speaker 2 (02:25:38):
Now?

Speaker 29 (02:25:38):
Say that doing on connor that your elders had away
right on conradicting you. It just ain't no varnish on
this side hardly it is too I know there is,
don't get wait a minute, I'll prove it to you.
I believe you are to get yourself from spectacle, Sedric.
I don't think you see good. That's more likely where
you got that feather idea one?

Speaker 17 (02:25:58):
Well, just look here and see if you can see
any varnish. Maybe I don't know, what it looked.

Speaker 29 (02:26:01):
Like when you must not I told you, and do
it don't look like it's any on. There doesn't come
one man, I do know. Hmm, that's curious. That's all
a carers, Sedric. Exactly where did you see them feathers
flying around? Cedric?

Speaker 17 (02:26:20):
I don't know. I'm sort of mixed up about that. Now.
Don't seem like I actually seen nothing?

Speaker 29 (02:26:25):
To think hard now, try to recollect.

Speaker 17 (02:26:28):
Well, all I can recollect is that I said something
i'd heard mister lum saying.

Speaker 29 (02:26:32):
Then it and don't get off the subject now, Cedric,
Just try to recollect how them feathers.

Speaker 17 (02:26:37):
Look to you?

Speaker 29 (02:26:38):
You sure that weren't a ghost you've seen flying around?

Speaker 17 (02:26:41):
A ghost?

Speaker 51 (02:26:41):
Why?

Speaker 43 (02:26:42):
Sure?

Speaker 10 (02:26:42):
A ghost?

Speaker 55 (02:26:43):
Court?

Speaker 29 (02:26:43):
I'll tell you what I think, Sedric. I think this
rocket ship must be haunted. Haunted, either the rocket ship
or the all observatory.

Speaker 17 (02:26:51):
One for jimminy sake. Do you sure not think so?

Speaker 29 (02:26:54):
Well, there's somebody culiar things going on around here, my
the kulliar. For some reason, that ghost don't want us
to make our trip tomorrow. That's why he's doing all
these things to the rocket ship.

Speaker 17 (02:27:05):
Reckon, Why I don't want you to go up there.

Speaker 29 (02:27:07):
I don't know why. Ain't the slightest idea.

Speaker 17 (02:27:10):
Let's ask him, say, mister gold Sandery, gily.

Speaker 42 (02:27:13):
Don't do that.

Speaker 29 (02:27:13):
Don't talk so aloud. We don't want him to hear us.

Speaker 17 (02:27:16):
We don't, of course not.

Speaker 29 (02:27:17):
Don't tell him what he do. If we start getting
smart and ask him.

Speaker 17 (02:27:20):
Questions, well, there's a couple of things about Goose I've
always wanted to find out. If he's in here to
ask you.

Speaker 29 (02:27:25):
Just keep going to yourself. Come on, now, we better
get out here quick if we can. Here, grab hold
of my hands, Sedric.

Speaker 17 (02:27:31):
This mam, I sure like to talk, son, Come on,
don't talk.

Speaker 29 (02:27:34):
Oh oh, look look at that door's hoping and seer.

Speaker 17 (02:27:41):
He's coming in or going out and going out. I
reckon be quiet, an h For goodness sakes, what's the
matter with you, fella?

Speaker 46 (02:27:49):
Is that you lum?

Speaker 22 (02:27:50):
Of course it is.

Speaker 17 (02:27:51):
You look like you just seen a ghost seen How
did you know? Did you see it too? Mister lum?
Rather our land sakes, what are you talking about?

Speaker 42 (02:27:59):
A long?

Speaker 29 (02:28:00):
He's right here, right here in this room.

Speaker 17 (02:28:02):
He's got feathers on him too, I think, yeah, yeah,
who's got feathers on the ghost?

Speaker 29 (02:28:06):
At least way Sedric thought he had. He he might
be mistook about that part. I don't know for sure, though.

Speaker 17 (02:28:12):
Well wait just a minute here. Did you actually see
a ghost? Sedric?

Speaker 57 (02:28:16):
Uh?

Speaker 17 (02:28:16):
Well, I don't exactly recollect seeing none, but mister Abner
said I did, so one must up. Oh he's seen it, alright,
did you see it?

Speaker 29 (02:28:24):
Abnue, Well, no, I weren't looking at direction right then.

Speaker 17 (02:28:27):
All right, then there ain't no ghost.

Speaker 2 (02:28:29):
Huh.

Speaker 17 (02:28:29):
You admit you never seen it. And Cedric says he
don't recollect seeing one. So if neither one of you
seen it, they couldn't have been one.

Speaker 29 (02:28:35):
Yeah, but wait, there's something else.

Speaker 17 (02:28:37):
We told you that long. There's something else.

Speaker 29 (02:28:40):
We can't keep no varnish on that rocket ship.

Speaker 17 (02:28:43):
There can't keep it on. Oh sir, what do you
mean by that?

Speaker 29 (02:28:46):
Just as fast as me and Cedric puts it on,
this ghost comes along and takes it off.

Speaker 51 (02:28:51):
True.

Speaker 29 (02:28:52):
Come on, come on over here, just look at this
rocket ship we've done.

Speaker 17 (02:28:55):
Come here see for yourself, mister Longe.

Speaker 29 (02:28:57):
Yes, sir, Cedric was standing right about here putting barnish
on it.

Speaker 17 (02:29:00):
Wait a minute, is this the can you was using here, Sedric?
This woman I bought that all by myself too, And
just a quick as wa wait a minute, Dabner, there's
one little thing I'd like to point out to you geniuses.
Look at the front of that can there.

Speaker 28 (02:29:16):
Huh.

Speaker 17 (02:29:16):
Can you read what it says? This woman says, varnish. Yeah,
but read that word right under it, varnish remover for.

Speaker 29 (02:29:24):
The land, says, I don't get Cedric. Didn't you see
that on there?

Speaker 17 (02:29:28):
Yes, Morma, I've seen that word, but I thought that
was the name of the company that made it. Well,
Cedric should have known better. Shouldn't be then? I guess
we all forget our better judgment occasionally, and when you
do at the dinner table, when you eat not wisely
but too well, remember Alka seltzer offers prompt pleasant relief

(02:29:50):
for the occasional acid indigestion distress after meals, sour upset stomach,
or heartburn that frequently follows too much to eat or drink.
You see how kaetzer does more than simply neutralize excess
gastric acidity. It also helps relieve that full, uncomfortable, stuffy
feeling as well. Remember the next time you want real

(02:30:11):
relief for some minor stomach up set, Be wise and
take Alka Seltzer. You get a thirty or sixty cent
sized package at any drug store or ask your druggist
to serve you a glass of Alka Seltzer. A disoder fountain.

Speaker 5 (02:30:47):
Barnessh Remover eighty three years ago, November ninth, nineteen forty two,
Lomon Abner on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Talks. You
join us tomorrow as we'll have crime with mister Keene Tree,
Lost Persons, Broadway is my beat, Danger, Doctor Danfield, and
lights Out. That's all coming up on our Monday edition

(02:31:09):
of the podcast. Thanks for being with us. We'll see
tomorrow for more Classic Radio Theater. Have yourself a great Sunday.
I'm Wyatt Talks

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Classic Radio 11-09-25 - Vitamin Shot, Henry's New Suit, and Charlie Marries Marilyn

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 11-09-25 - Vitamin Shot, Henry's New Suit, and Charlie Marries Marilyn