Classic Radio 11-18-25 - Grab Bag, Russian Diplomat, and Night School - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time, hus Fens.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Shadow Note Washington calling David Honey count.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
As my classic radio theater, The Great Yelder Slide, Zapah
McGhee and Molly Dragones guns Alone Rang Zoe.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine. It's your host,
Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Good evening Friend, Vionna Tanto.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
Comedy on a Tuesday, episodes of The Aldrich Family starring
Ezra Stone By Abbott, lu Costello and Sam Shovel, and
The Great Yeller Sleeve starring Harold Perry, My Favorite Husband
starring Lucille Ball, and an episode Claudia. That's all coming
up on this Tuesday, eighteenth day of November three hundred

(00:59):
and twenty second day of the year, forty three days remaining.
According to legend, William Tell shot an Apple office sun
set on this state in thirteen oh seven. Christopher Columbus
first sites what is now Puerto Rico. In fourteen ninety three,
Mark Twain's story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Caliberis County,
published in the New York Saturday Press. In eighteen sixty five,

(01:22):
American and Canadian Railroads Issue instituted five standard continental time
zones on this State in eighteen eighty three, ending the
confusion of thousands of local times that varied by minutes,
sometimes dozens of minutes, sometimes hours. The Hey Bonavaria Treaties

(01:46):
signed on the state in nineteen oh three by the
US and Panama, giving the Americans exclusive rights over the
Panama Canal zone, And in nineteen twenty eight, the release
of the U S animated short Steamboat Willie, the first
fully synchronized sound cartoon. Disney fought for years to keep

(02:28):
it under copyright, and they finally had to give up
the ghost when Steamboat Willie finally went into the public domain,
directed by Walt Disney and ub Works, the second appearance
of cartoon stars Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Trade Union members

(02:50):
elected John L. Lewis as the first President of the
Congress of Industrial Organizations on this date in nineteen thirty eight.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
We're afraid to pray of what.

Speaker 6 (03:06):
Thefraid of the argant and the insulin, economic, political, and
financial power of this group of Southern operators in the communities.

Speaker 7 (03:14):
That they rule.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Praid of what.

Speaker 6 (03:21):
Praid to desert one hundred and forty five thousand men
who are members of this union and lead them to
the tender mercies of these arrogant and incident gentlemen who
do not hesitate to subond public officials in their communities,
to police their communities with privately hired and armed gunmen,

(03:45):
to evict our people from their homes, but that they'll
have no domicile, they have none except those home for
the company, and to close their commissaries and company stas,
to cut off huge.

Speaker 8 (04:00):
Supplies for our people and leading them in their mercy.

Speaker 6 (04:03):
To cut off water and electric light, and to cut
off medical attention.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Because they all felt about very intolerable.

Speaker 6 (04:12):
Yes, I'm wondering, Senator, where the war is today? And
apparently we have plenty of aid to give stricken peoples
any words in the world except in the mining regions
of this country.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
Lewis headed the United Mine Workers Union from nineteen twenty
to nineteen sixty. Ben Her premiered at Loewe Theater in
New York City on this date in nineteen fifty nine.

Speaker 9 (04:38):
The day roam falls, there will be a shout of
freedom such as the world has never heard before.

Speaker 5 (04:43):
Charleton Heston in ben hur Premiering on this date in
nineteen fifty nine, President Nixon asked Congress for one hundred
and fifty five million dollars in supplemental aid for the
Cambodian government on this date in nineteen seventy. In nineteen
seventy eight in Guyana, Jim Jones led his People's Temple
cult in a mass murder suicide that claimed nine hundred

(05:07):
and eighteen lives in all, nine hundred and nine at
Johnstown itself, including over two hundred and seventy five children.
In Congressman Leo Ryan of California.

Speaker 10 (05:18):
I believe, for God's sake, let's get on with it.
We've lived, We've lived as no other people lived and loved.
We've had that much of this world. They're gonna gut.
Let's just to be done with it. Let's be done
with the agony of it. The revolutionary suicide. It does
not have to structed suicide. But they'll pay for it
if they brought this upon us.

Speaker 11 (05:37):
And they'll pay.

Speaker 5 (05:38):
That audio of the Reverend Jim Jones during this horrific event,
and the NBC News sound technician Steved Sung saw his
cameraman gunned down.

Speaker 12 (05:53):
One shot Hip Hop Brown the lake.

Speaker 13 (05:55):
I believe I don't know what pot of body, he
screamed couch and next thing I know, they the guy
came close andployees bring.

Speaker 5 (06:01):
Off horrific event on this date back in nineteen seventy eight,
the Blues Brothers appeared for the first time on Saturday
Night Live on this date in nineteen seventy eight. And
it was on this date in nineteen eighty two we
told you a few days ago the story of Duck
Ku Kim, who had the sustained injuries during a fourteen

(06:22):
round bout against Raymond Sini in Las Vegas. He died
on this date, prompting reforms in boxing. Calvin and Hobbs,
a comic strip by Bill Waterton, first published on this
date in nineteen eighty five. It would leave syndication ten
years later. Washington Redskins quarterback Joke Tisman broke his leg,

(06:43):
ending his playing career in nineteen eighty five. Nineteen eighty seven,
Congressional Iran Contra committees issued their final report, which set
President Reagan Moore final responsibility for what had gone wrong
with the policy that had ended in a swap of
arms for hostages. This is Indiana Democrat Lee Hamilton, who

(07:05):
chaired the House committee.

Speaker 6 (07:07):
The Common Ingredients in the Iran Contra affair or secrecy, deception,
and a disdain for law.

Speaker 5 (07:15):
A year later, in nineteen eighty eight, President Reagan signed
a bill into law providing the death penalty for murderous
drug traffickers. In nineteen ninety one, she eyed Muslim kidnappers
in Lebanon, set Anglican church on Boet Terry Relate Terry
Waite and Thomas Sutherland free in College Station, Texas on

(07:35):
this date. In nineteen ninety nine, twelve killed twenty seven
injured at Texas A and M when a huge bonfire
under construction collapsed in Jassper, Texas on that same date
in nineteen ninety nine, twenty six years ago today, twenty
four year old Sean Allen Berry sentenced to life in prison,
becoming the third person convicted in the racially motivated death

(07:58):
of James Bird Junior. The Nintendo GameCube released on this
state in two thousand and one. In two thousand and two,
the state of New Jersey banned the game Dodgeball from
public schools. In two thousand and three, the Massachusetts Supreme
Court Supreme Judicial Court ruled four to three that the
state's ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional. Twenty years ago, today.

(08:22):
In two thousand and five, Robert Blake found liable for
the longful death of his wife in a civil trial.
Jury ordered him to pay thirty million dollars. Two thousand
and six, Tom Cruise Katie Holmes married in Italy. They
would divorce six years later. In twenty twelve, two days
before turning ninety two, Senator Robert Bird of Virginia West

(08:46):
Virginia Rather became the longest serving lawmaker and congressional history
on the state. In two thousand and nine, he was
in fifty six years, three hundred and twenty days. He
would serve until his passing about a year later in
twenty ten. His records surpassed by Congressman John Dingle of Michigan.

(09:07):
Winter storm pounded Buffalo, New York on this date in
twenty fourteen seven feet of Lake effect snow, causing fourteen deaths.
After it stopped, Eury County Executive Mark poland Zar said
clearing it would take time.

Speaker 14 (09:22):
Plows can no longer plow the snow. There's so much snow.

Speaker 15 (09:26):
It's basically like plowing a brick wall.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
It does get that way, And it was five years
ago today. The Utah Monolith built sometime in twenty sixteen
was discovered by state biologists of the Utah Division of
Wildlife Resources. Following intense media coverage, it was covertly removed
on November twenty seventh by four residents of Moab, Utah,

(09:50):
after nearly a month in their possession. It was given
to the Bureau Land Management, currently in BLM custody. Its
origins remained to this day unknown. President Chester A. Arthur,
the twenty first president of the US, passing on this date,
along with Vice President Henry Wallace. Also passing away on

(10:12):
this date, man leader Cab Callaway, actor James Coburn, composer
pianist Psi Coleman, and from actor character actor Harold J.
Stone played a lot of heavies in this time. Birthdays
on this date. Of those who are no longer with
us include conductor Eugene Ormandy Polster, George Gallup, the Very

(10:35):
Funny actress Imogen Coca, lyricist Johnny Mercer, astronaut Alan Sheppard,
and Hank Ballard, all passing on this date. All born,
I should say, on this date they have all left
the building.

Speaker 15 (10:49):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 8 (10:50):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 16 (10:53):
The following people are now officially older than Dirt.

Speaker 5 (10:57):
Those who are still with us include actress Brenda she
Is eighty six today from Big Valley and Dynasty. Linda
Evans is eighty three from Another World, Falcon Crest and Castle,
Susan Sullivan eighty three from Simon and Simon. Jamison Parker
he played Simon Well Yeah, Mister Belding and Saved by

(11:21):
the Bell, Dennis Haskins seventy five from Saturday Night Live,
Kevin Nealan seventy two. Kim Wilde, the British singer who
Redid You Keep Me Hanging On? Sixty five years old today,
actor Owen Wilson fifty seven. Also three people turning fifty

(11:41):
five today. They include lefem Nikita, Peter Wilson fifty five
next Friday in The Hangover Star Mike Epps and Sirius XM,
host Megan Kelly from American Psycho and Big Love. Chloe
Sevegni is fifty one today. NASCAR's Den Hambling is forty
five and actor Damon Wayans Junior is forty three.

Speaker 17 (12:07):
If Janie and Allen's keep fighting like this, Someone's gonna
get killed.

Speaker 15 (12:09):
Leaning up in prison.

Speaker 16 (12:10):
ILLINOI doesn't allow conjugal visits.

Speaker 15 (12:12):
The best I'll do is Jane spitting on my neck
to a chain link fence.

Speaker 5 (12:15):
From the movie Happy Endings. Damon Wayans Junior forty three. Today,
those used to fear the people celebrating the eighteenth day
of November as their birthday. If this is your birthday,
we baked you a birthday cake.

Speaker 7 (12:33):
If you get it to ma a and you moan
and grown and woe, don't forget we told you so.

Speaker 18 (12:43):
MCA wishneer and blow out the candles.

Speaker 19 (12:46):
Here they go.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
Well, I have told you a lot about uh. Professor
Bees digest today, I can tell you plainly and simply
it works. I can tell you plainly and simple. It's
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(13:12):
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digestive issues, and if you have throat problems because of
that acid reflex and stuff, you'll find it very soothing.
Check it out profbees dot com. That is profbees dot

(13:35):
com or you can find the link in the show notes.
You can also find the link at Classic Radio dot stream.
Use my promo code WYAT you'll save ten percent and
when you make a purchase, that portion of it comes
to help our show here. So check it out profbees
dot com. That is profbees dot com. We'll start off
by going back and seeing what Ezra Stone is doing.

(13:58):
He's plain and real.

Speaker 20 (14:00):
Right, here's Bob Hope with a message of interest to
federal income tax payers.

Speaker 21 (14:13):
You know, I always take off my hat when I
passed the Treasury Building in Washington in memory of my
departed dollars. The only countries I've worked in lately, America
and England, have this business of tax collecting down to
a fine art.

Speaker 16 (14:25):
I found this out the hard.

Speaker 21 (14:26):
Way, but seriously, it's all in a good cause, the
cause of peace and freedom through sound national defense, and
the cause of continuing our national progress and our standing
first among nations. Honestly, when you count your benefits and blessings,
you'll pay those federal income tax as big as they are,
with a lighter heart and an easier mind. And the
sooner you do it, the more Uncle will be pleased,

(14:48):
and the better job he can do.

Speaker 20 (14:51):
This was a public service announcement presented through the cooperation
of the Motion Picture Industry of the United States.

Speaker 5 (14:59):
Now we go back seventy seven years November eighteenth, nineteen
forty eight. Ezra Stone as Henry Aldridge in the Aldrich Family.

Speaker 22 (15:09):
It's the Alviridge family.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I beg your pardon.

Speaker 23 (15:12):
We said it the all Rich family.

Speaker 11 (15:15):
Yes, it's the Aldrich family, presented by the Jello family.

Speaker 10 (15:19):
Heyl.

Speaker 24 (15:20):
Oh, well, it was my talking people all ready to
enjoy the Aldrich family.

Speaker 23 (15:32):
Hey, hey, what's the matter here.

Speaker 11 (15:35):
Gotta do the dinner dishes.

Speaker 25 (15:37):
Well, you can still listen to Henry and Homer and
do the dinner dishes too.

Speaker 23 (15:42):
Good idea, Bob.

Speaker 7 (15:44):
You bet it's a good idea, Bob. Did you have
a good dinner?

Speaker 17 (15:47):
You That sounds like you had smooth as green jellow puddings?

Speaker 7 (15:52):
Maybe no, no, well, then maybe.

Speaker 17 (15:56):
The pudding with the personality and the dimple.

Speaker 23 (16:00):
Did you have jellow copy yoga pudding?

Speaker 26 (16:03):
No? No?

Speaker 27 (16:03):
Well?

Speaker 8 (16:04):
And what did you have for dessert?

Speaker 28 (16:05):
The world famous shimmery.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
That's Jello in.

Speaker 29 (16:11):
Those six delicious flavors starting with strawberry, carry.

Speaker 20 (16:18):
Lemon.

Speaker 30 (16:24):
Oh, thank you like it?

Speaker 20 (16:29):
Love?

Speaker 25 (16:30):
No?

Speaker 12 (16:30):
Not ya?

Speaker 7 (16:35):
Hey, look at that fuck.

Speaker 25 (16:37):
It's time for the Old Rich Family, based on characters
originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone as Henry
with Jackie Kelk as Homer.

Speaker 28 (16:49):
Henry Henry a rich mother.

Speaker 7 (17:07):
Life's greatest gift is youth.

Speaker 25 (17:10):
Unfortunately, it isn't confined to anyone, as youth can be
recaptured at any time by anyone who simply shares the
experiences of an enthusiastic teenage boy like Henry Aldridge. The
scene opens in Henry's bedroom. It is Saturday morning.

Speaker 14 (17:26):
Now listen, Henry, that's no way to hold it. It
is so yet you have to tip it?

Speaker 31 (17:32):
Then?

Speaker 14 (17:32):
How can you get the knife in?

Speaker 28 (17:34):
Tomer?

Speaker 12 (17:34):
What goes?

Speaker 28 (17:35):
She wiz? Whose piggy bank.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Is this anyway?

Speaker 14 (17:38):
Okay, go ahead, If you're so smart, why should I
help you scrape up money to throw down the drains?
What do you mean down the drain?

Speaker 32 (17:46):
If I can get enough money out of this bank,
I'm going to ask Kathleen to go to a movie tonight.

Speaker 14 (17:51):
Henry, you're crazy. You take Kathleen to a movie and
what have you got? A lot of memories and a
good night kiss? If you're lucky, what's wrong with Well,
you can do that any old time, but boy, it
isn't every day in the week that Springers Hardware has
a grab bag sale.

Speaker 28 (18:08):
That's just it, Homer.

Speaker 32 (18:09):
You buy a grab bag and where are you but
take Kathleen to the movies and at least you know
what you're.

Speaker 14 (18:14):
Getting, sure, so why not buy a grab bag and
get pleasantly surprised?

Speaker 13 (18:20):
Boy?

Speaker 28 (18:21):
Another dime?

Speaker 14 (18:22):
How much have you got out of your bank?

Speaker 31 (18:23):
Now?

Speaker 28 (18:24):
Fifty cents so far? Fifty and there's one more coin
in here.

Speaker 14 (18:29):
Boy, if I had fifty cents, I get my best
friend and pull our money and invested in a grab bag.

Speaker 28 (18:36):
Now wait a minute, Homer, how much money have you
actually got?

Speaker 12 (18:39):
A dime?

Speaker 28 (18:41):
Okay, so stop wasting your breath on grab bags. My
mind is made up.

Speaker 14 (18:45):
But Henry, did I tell you those grab bags have
values up to ten dollars in them?

Speaker 32 (18:49):
Hey?

Speaker 11 (18:50):
Look a quarter?

Speaker 32 (18:51):
Yeah, that gives me exactly enough to cover Kathleen, two
balcony seats, two sodas't a nickols worth of candy?

Speaker 8 (18:58):
Boy, what you.

Speaker 14 (18:59):
Couldn't get at Ringers for seventy five cents?

Speaker 28 (19:02):
Seventy you mean to have grab bags as.

Speaker 14 (19:05):
Low as that. Sure, none of them are over a dollar.

Speaker 28 (19:08):
Homer, You're crazy? Are you telling me? They have ten
dollars values? All for under a dollar?

Speaker 14 (19:13):
Sure, it's the chance of a lifetime, Henry. You can't lose.

Speaker 28 (19:16):
But how can you be sure what you're getting?

Speaker 14 (19:19):
That's the beautiful part, you can That's where the fun
comes in.

Speaker 28 (19:23):
It does sound interesting, and you know what you.

Speaker 14 (19:26):
Might win, Henry, that bicycle pump you've been lunch?

Speaker 28 (19:29):
Oh boy, do you really think so?

Speaker 14 (19:32):
Yes, Father, in the hall of moment?

Speaker 28 (19:35):
Sure, Father, Homer, wait here, okay, but don't be long.

Speaker 23 (19:39):
I just passing your room, Henry, and I couldn't help
over hearing you.

Speaker 28 (19:42):
Mean about the grab bag saale, Father, And then that
sounds swell.

Speaker 23 (19:45):
Frank, my son, it sounds a little risky to me.

Speaker 32 (19:48):
Risky father, Gee whiz, it's the chance of a lifetime. Yeah,
when you invest in one of those grab bags, you
can't lose, even.

Speaker 7 (19:54):
Though you have no idea what it might be in time.

Speaker 28 (19:57):
But that's the beautiful part, Father. There might be any inside.

Speaker 23 (20:01):
There might also be nothing.

Speaker 28 (20:02):
But Homer said, their values up to ten dollars.

Speaker 23 (20:05):
Henry, I want you to make your own decision in
this matter. But remember one thing.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Merchants can very.

Speaker 23 (20:10):
Seldom afford to giveaway anything valuable, but fathered.

Speaker 32 (20:12):
You know what I might get for seventy five cents
a bicycle pump.

Speaker 23 (20:17):
Henry, you're being very optimistic.

Speaker 28 (20:19):
I have it on good authority now.

Speaker 23 (20:20):
That son, I know all about that bags. I've had
my fingers burn.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
You haven't.

Speaker 32 (20:24):
But father, these bags are entirely different, hen They let
me explain one more thing right the time.

Speaker 14 (20:40):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Kathleen.

Speaker 28 (20:45):
Listen, I'm phoning from Springers Hardware. See who what, Kathleen?
This is Henry. I'm down here at Springer's with Homer
and his dying. You are sure?

Speaker 33 (20:56):
And look, how would you like to go to the
movie tonight?

Speaker 26 (21:00):
The movie?

Speaker 28 (21:02):
I'd love to, Henry and sit in the balcony. Uh huh,
way in the back.

Speaker 15 (21:08):
Uh huh?

Speaker 28 (21:09):
What's playing playing? Kathleen? Don't you like me anymore?

Speaker 7 (21:16):
I know?

Speaker 28 (21:18):
But well, gee, you never used to ask what was playing?

Speaker 14 (21:22):
Ny, It's a perfectly minor point.

Speaker 28 (21:24):
Okay, then it's all settled. I'll come by for you
right after supper, than Henry.

Speaker 14 (21:29):
Why, goodbye, Hey, Henry, Look at this bag?

Speaker 13 (21:34):
Here?

Speaker 28 (21:34):
Which one?

Speaker 14 (21:35):
This one? With all the bulges in it? Doesn't it
drive you crazy wondering what's in it? Not? Mayhomer.

Speaker 28 (21:41):
I'm just down here to keep you company.

Speaker 14 (21:43):
Gee, aren't you the least bit interested in buying anything?

Speaker 28 (21:47):
Not if I have to risk every cent I have
in the world. Now, you take this long, skinny bag here? Yeah,
it's thirty cents.

Speaker 14 (21:54):
Sure, go ahead? And why don't you buy?

Speaker 32 (21:57):
Why should I spend thirty cents for just a plain
ordinary yardstick?

Speaker 28 (22:01):
A yardstick?

Speaker 14 (22:02):
Is that all that bag is?

Speaker 26 (22:04):
Sure?

Speaker 28 (22:05):
And she whiz? If I had listened to my father,
I might have been carried away. Hi, you fellow? He
comes Willie Fells?

Speaker 14 (22:10):
What to do with just looking around? Willy?

Speaker 28 (22:13):
Here? Hey, Harry, are you gonna buy that long, thin
grab bag?

Speaker 14 (22:16):
He might be, Willie, I am.

Speaker 7 (22:18):
Not, Homer.

Speaker 28 (22:19):
Well, can I have a bad? Sure?

Speaker 32 (22:21):
Here?

Speaker 28 (22:21):
Back on your finger? Here?

Speaker 14 (22:23):
By, Wait, Willie, don't you know what's in that bag?

Speaker 32 (22:26):
Don't tell him, Homer, don't tell him. You know how
stubborn Willy is. Yeah, let him get burnt by himself.

Speaker 28 (22:32):
It'll be a good lesson for him.

Speaker 16 (22:33):
Hey, you want to watch me open my bag?

Speaker 14 (22:35):
Sure, Willie?

Speaker 32 (22:36):
Oh, I'll stand back, fella boy, I bet you'll get
a surprise, Willie.

Speaker 28 (22:40):
Gee, I hope.

Speaker 14 (22:41):
So, Hey, what is it, Willie? Let's see?

Speaker 28 (22:45):
Oh boy, oh collaborable fishing rod. Just what I've always wanted.

Speaker 14 (22:51):
Geez, those things cost about seven dollars. Just think, Henry,
you could have had it.

Speaker 28 (22:58):
Yeah, but I could have sworn it. Let's see that
fishing ride, Willie.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Boy, this is slick.

Speaker 28 (23:04):
I'll see see. Here are you lucky?

Speaker 14 (23:07):
I sure I am well, falk fo Where are you going, lily?

Speaker 28 (23:11):
Fishing boy?

Speaker 14 (23:15):
Boy, Henry, maybe your father still has a few things
to learn.

Speaker 28 (23:20):
Yeah, I guess he didn't live during a period of inflation.

Speaker 14 (23:25):
I'll say.

Speaker 32 (23:26):
You know, Homer, I've been thinking, yeah, Kathleen might enjoy
a movie to im. Sure, only she'd be even crazier
about something I might win in a grab bag for.

Speaker 28 (23:36):
Or wouldn't she?

Speaker 14 (23:36):
Now you're talking sense him?

Speaker 28 (23:38):
Be sure, Homer. Come on, help me pick out a
grab bag?

Speaker 14 (23:41):
How about this one?

Speaker 11 (23:42):
Boy?

Speaker 32 (23:43):
Will my father hears that merchants really do give valuable
things away?

Speaker 14 (23:47):
Hey, Henry, Hi, Charlie, don't bother is Charlie? We're busy
looking for a grab bag to buy?

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 28 (23:52):
What how should we know, Charlie? We haven't bought it yet.

Speaker 14 (23:55):
Well, if there's Toby Smith, I'm gonna see what he
got in his grab bag.

Speaker 17 (23:58):
Listen, Henry, how would you like to buy this nifty
box of clothes pin?

Speaker 28 (24:01):
Clothes pins? What could I possibly do with clothes pins?

Speaker 15 (24:04):
Well?

Speaker 17 (24:05):
You could use him to hand girls pictures up on
your wall, or they'd be swelled for starting fires.

Speaker 28 (24:10):
Charlie, you're crazy.

Speaker 17 (24:11):
And I'll look, Henry. I paid twenty five cents for him,
and I'll let you have him for twenty oh, no, fifteen.

Speaker 28 (24:16):
Nothing doing ten? You pay a quarter for a thing
like that for.

Speaker 17 (24:21):
It got him a grab bag? And boy am I
gonna assume mister Springer.

Speaker 32 (24:24):
Well look, Charlie, naturally merchants can't give away valuable things
in every grab bag.

Speaker 14 (24:29):
Hey, Henry, guess m just like what the sixty cents
a paint spray? What Toby Smith threw only sixty cents? Homer,
what could you do with a thing like that? Accept spray?
Paint plenty. I happen to know my father would pay
five dollars for a new paint spray.

Speaker 28 (24:44):
Five dollars, five dollars cold cash.

Speaker 14 (24:47):
Hold cash on the line, Henry, He's gonna need one
to paint our house.

Speaker 28 (24:51):
Oho.

Speaker 32 (24:52):
Oh boy, let's start looking home, or there might be
another sprayer in these grab bags here, there.

Speaker 28 (24:57):
Might see whizz goodbye.

Speaker 14 (24:58):
Where are you going, Charle home and get some more money.

Speaker 28 (25:01):
One thing about a paint sprayer, Homer, You can tell
it by.

Speaker 14 (25:04):
The feel of Okay, I'll start feeling from.

Speaker 28 (25:06):
This, sure, and I'll start over here, and we'll feel
twout each other. Oh, why yes, mister Springer?

Speaker 23 (25:12):
All right, but we can't allow any feeling around.

Speaker 28 (25:20):
Sure, mister Springer, boy, Homer, that's what I call loyalty.
How do you mean mister Springer is practically a member
of our own family, isn't he?

Speaker 26 (25:28):
He is?

Speaker 28 (25:29):
Sure he's engaged to my aunt Harriet.

Speaker 14 (25:31):
Well, frankly, I don't blame him for being cranky. Homer.

Speaker 32 (25:36):
Are you positive you didn't feel anything remotely like a
paint sprayer? If you couldn't mistake a thing like that, boy,
what I couldn't do with five dollars takes me a
week to think about it.

Speaker 28 (25:47):
Let's sit down, Hey, Henry, Yeah, I found one a
paint spraying.

Speaker 14 (25:55):
Yeah, I'm sitting there, Hoomer, are you shoe?

Speaker 26 (26:00):
She was?

Speaker 28 (26:00):
Homer I forgot, probably want my seventy five cents at home.

Speaker 14 (26:04):
Well that's am.

Speaker 28 (26:06):
You stay right here and guard this paints bringer while
I run home for my money.

Speaker 14 (26:10):
What if somebody else wants to buy it, just don't
let them.

Speaker 28 (26:13):
And Homer, if you can keep it from me, I'll
give you a dollar when I show.

Speaker 14 (26:16):
Okay, Henry runs. Nice of you to drop in, Harriet,
sit down, I'll pour you some coffee.

Speaker 25 (26:31):
Thank you, Alice, how sad?

Speaker 28 (26:33):
He's just fine? How's mister Springer? Alan just by?

Speaker 17 (26:38):
Aren't been a problem?

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (26:41):
Have you and al then had a quarrel? Harriet?

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Oh no, just a little disagreement.

Speaker 28 (26:45):
Alvin thinks I should take up painting again?

Speaker 33 (26:48):
Really is even even women having outside interest?

Speaker 28 (26:51):
But if I say form, I said, Alvin, I said,
fink it. I don't think I'm very talented, do you?

Speaker 8 (26:57):
Well?

Speaker 28 (26:57):
I tell you the absolute truth?

Speaker 34 (26:59):
He said, Yes, how did I do?

Speaker 14 (27:02):
Oh?

Speaker 22 (27:03):
Oh?

Speaker 34 (27:03):
He did?

Speaker 28 (27:04):
But god, he admits he don't know a thing about art,
but he knows what he likes.

Speaker 14 (27:09):
Isn't that nice?

Speaker 28 (27:10):
Full out?

Speaker 14 (27:10):
Then you don't can't help seeing me through rose colored glasses.
I guess.

Speaker 28 (27:16):
My goodness that Henry mother quick worth my seventy five
cents low in harlo ten.

Speaker 14 (27:20):
May you told me to keep it for you and
not to give it.

Speaker 28 (27:22):
To you under any circumstances until to my mother.

Speaker 32 (27:25):
Don't you understand I've cornered a valuable grab bag and
I'm going to make a killing.

Speaker 34 (27:29):
You've forgotten what your father said?

Speaker 28 (27:31):
No, only he doesn't understand. This sale is different.

Speaker 14 (27:34):
I known Henry is right.

Speaker 35 (27:36):
I happen to know personally there are some very valuable
grab bags down there.

Speaker 28 (27:41):
It's very well. I'll go upstairs and get your money.
You will jee that.

Speaker 32 (27:44):
Just give me time to make a phone call number
name ELM one on no ELM one no, yes, operator,
try it, I do.

Speaker 28 (27:52):
We should let me have mother. Can you please hurry
with my mother with my money. Homer's sitting on something. Hello, Hello, Kathleen.
So let me ask you something quick?

Speaker 26 (28:01):
What is it?

Speaker 32 (28:02):
Well? Suppose just suppose you were going out dancing to
the country cloud my goodness, when well suppose it's tonight.

Speaker 28 (28:11):
See what color dress would you be wearing?

Speaker 8 (28:13):
What color?

Speaker 15 (28:14):
Sure?

Speaker 28 (28:15):
So I could send you flowers?

Speaker 32 (28:17):
If flowers, if it provided I get five dollars for
a certain something I'm going to win and it doesn't
cost too much.

Speaker 7 (28:22):
For a taxi?

Speaker 28 (28:23):
Goodness, you mean we're going to tax we might? So
what color, Kathleen?

Speaker 14 (28:27):
What just any color? Although I do not those big
black shiny ones black flowers? Are we talking about taxi?

Speaker 20 (28:34):
No?

Speaker 14 (28:36):
Oh, my goodness?

Speaker 32 (28:36):
Money?

Speaker 28 (28:37):
Or could color flowers?

Speaker 33 (28:38):
Dory and get my hair cut?

Speaker 2 (28:40):
But what, Kathleen?

Speaker 26 (28:41):
I know?

Speaker 4 (28:41):
Have you get a nurse?

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Sure?

Speaker 28 (28:42):
Only understand it isn't definite, don't you, Kathleen.

Speaker 14 (28:46):
Cathleen, Now wait a minute, Charlie, what are you doing?

Speaker 26 (28:58):
What do you mean?

Speaker 17 (28:59):
What am I doing? I'm trying to pick out a
paint spray.

Speaker 14 (29:01):
But you're not allowed to feel a grab bag. You
just have to take your chin.

Speaker 17 (29:05):
I'll listen, Homer, Since when do you own this hardware store?

Speaker 14 (29:08):
Charlie? Get away from this grab bag.

Speaker 32 (29:10):
But it might be a paint spread, and it might not,
and besides it's reserves, then it is a paint sprayer.

Speaker 28 (29:15):
Listen, Charlie, over.

Speaker 14 (29:17):
Of me, Charlie, don't get mad.

Speaker 28 (29:20):
I didn't mean to push you. Let's just talk this over.
Carl Oh yeah, listen, you little pit squeeze. Charlie.

Speaker 14 (29:26):
You're back in right into the gardener. I'll take this
grab bag here. Hey, hey, that's Henry's grab bag. Old lady,
so you've got the hose, look over your own, lady,
Come back.

Speaker 7 (29:39):
Hey, it's a.

Speaker 25 (30:01):
Fact, folks, more people buy jello puddings than any other
prepared puddings in the world. And no wonder because you
never tasted anything better than jello puddings. Yes, jello, chocolate,
butterscotch and vanilla puddings chuck full of old fashioned homemade goodness.
Try them, Compare them. See if you don't say that.
Jello puddings are richer, creamier, more all around delicious and

(30:24):
they cook the perfection in just about five minutes. Ask
your grocer for jello puddings, and say better, ask for
three packages while you're about it, so you'll be prepared
for the weekend.

Speaker 7 (30:35):
That's jello pudding.

Speaker 25 (30:48):
And now getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldridge,
hoping to make a fortune from a grab bag he
wants to buy and then sell for a prophet. Henry
has been planning to entertain Kathleena elaborately this evening, but
his chances of getting the money are now getting slimmer
and slimmer. The scene opens in the back room of
Alvin Springer's Centerville hardware store.

Speaker 23 (31:10):
It is the same morning.

Speaker 28 (31:12):
Excuse me, mister, have you seen anything of my friend
Homer Brown?

Speaker 14 (31:15):
You're no friend of mine, Henry?

Speaker 28 (31:17):
Homer?

Speaker 14 (31:18):
Is that you? Sure? Just look at I am?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Gee?

Speaker 27 (31:21):
WHI is?

Speaker 28 (31:21):
What happened to your face?

Speaker 14 (31:23):
Never mind my face, that'll wash off. But how can
I get all this pain and grease off my clothes?

Speaker 26 (31:28):
What have you been doing?

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Boy?

Speaker 28 (31:30):
Everything?

Speaker 14 (31:31):
Hoisting paint thrums, mixing ploddy, filling turpentine bottle for just
because I had a little accident, trying to save your
darn grab that you mean it's gone?

Speaker 32 (31:40):
But I was counting on that five dollars. Tackleen thinks
I'm taking her out dancing tonight, Henry.

Speaker 14 (31:46):
How much do you think you could sell an outboard
motive for an outboard motor?

Speaker 28 (31:50):
Homer? You're crazy? Who's crazy?

Speaker 14 (31:52):
You know the one mister Springer's had in his window
for two years?

Speaker 12 (31:55):
Sure what?

Speaker 14 (31:56):
Just half an hour ago I saw him lugging into
that room over there, and then he came back in
here with that box, and he said, whoever buys it
this afternoon is gonna get the surprise of their life.

Speaker 28 (32:06):
Homer do you mean it? And it's only seventy five?

Speaker 14 (32:09):
So sure it's what they call a sleeper.

Speaker 32 (32:12):
Oh boy, gee, I could sell that for ten times
as much as the paint spray.

Speaker 14 (32:16):
Sure, so you'll only ten dollars, oh, Homer.

Speaker 32 (32:20):
On second thought, I probably can't get more than five
times as much. Now listen, look, why don't I go
out now and round up a prospective buyer, mister Springer?

Speaker 28 (32:29):
What time are those grab bags going on? Sound? You're
sure you won't sell any of them before that?

Speaker 12 (32:35):
No?

Speaker 28 (32:36):
Gee, that's swell, goodbye, Homer.

Speaker 23 (32:38):
I'll be back, Homer. I've been keeping an eye on
you this morning. You've certainly done a good job.

Speaker 29 (32:42):
Back here, I have, yes, sir, and to show my appreciation,
I'm gonna let you have any grab bag good life
for that's time of yours.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
For a dime.

Speaker 14 (32:49):
You mean I can have any bag at all?

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Yes, sir, you.

Speaker 14 (32:52):
Mean I could even have the outboard motor.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
What outboard motor?

Speaker 22 (32:57):
Gee?

Speaker 14 (32:57):
I shouldn't have mentioned it. I mean this big red
bag right here.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
Omer, that isn't an outboard motor.

Speaker 31 (33:04):
It isn't.

Speaker 14 (33:05):
Oh boys, Henry gonna get a surprise. Hello, Kathleen, Henry
Is it only you?

Speaker 28 (33:21):
What do you mean only me?

Speaker 14 (33:23):
Why didn't you dragged me out from under the dryer?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
I did, Danny? Why here?

Speaker 34 (33:27):
Positively?

Speaker 32 (33:28):
Look, Kathleen, I just wanted to tell you that the
thing I'm selling now was much more valuable.

Speaker 28 (33:32):
Than the thing I was selling before.

Speaker 14 (33:34):
It is, Yeah, it is.

Speaker 28 (33:36):
I can't tell you. I'm down at the ACME Machine
Works right now.

Speaker 14 (33:40):
Any we are going to the tech cut tonight, aren't we?

Speaker 7 (33:42):
Sure?

Speaker 28 (33:43):
Absolutely?

Speaker 14 (33:44):
And not only that, Yes, Kathleen.

Speaker 28 (33:46):
How would you feel about a season.

Speaker 14 (33:48):
Take a season tire and.

Speaker 28 (33:50):
Go every Saturday night in the year. Why, mister Springer?

Speaker 14 (34:04):
The grand Pride certainly the lucky one today, Homer. It's
the only thing I ever won in my whole life.
Do you mind if I use your phone?

Speaker 24 (34:12):
No?

Speaker 14 (34:13):
Thanks, el I'm six.

Speaker 28 (34:15):
One, oh, el Sie, mister Springer?

Speaker 14 (34:18):
To think Henry van Harry painted that.

Speaker 28 (34:21):
All by herself?

Speaker 23 (34:22):
Answer, and she's never had a lesson in her life?
Would you believe it?

Speaker 7 (34:25):
Well?

Speaker 14 (34:26):
To tell you the truth?

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Neither would I.

Speaker 26 (34:29):
All it needs now is a nice hello, Hello mother.

Speaker 14 (34:33):
Guess who this is?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Silly?

Speaker 14 (34:36):
Listen, mother, A wonderful thing just happened. I just bought
a grab bag.

Speaker 33 (34:40):
I thought you didn't have enough money to buy one.

Speaker 14 (34:42):
Well I didn't, but mister Springer just had me move
a few paint drums and gave it to me for
practically nothing. Really, And Mother, I won the Grand Pride.
You want, sure, and it's something you've always wanted, and
I'd be willing to.

Speaker 26 (34:54):
Let it go.

Speaker 28 (34:54):
Cheat. Oh it isn't it isn't sure.

Speaker 14 (34:58):
It's a sort of a painting, my heaven. But the
inside of the outside of the house. Why, Oh, you're
a dear And now would you hang up? I'm too excited, Okay,
And don't worry, mother, mister Springer's gonna clean me up.

Speaker 33 (35:10):
That's nice, goodbye, goodbye.

Speaker 14 (35:14):
Oh mister Springer. Have you tried looking at this painting
upside down?

Speaker 9 (35:29):
Alice?

Speaker 14 (35:29):
I just had to dash right over.

Speaker 33 (35:31):
Tell me again, Homer won the grand prize.

Speaker 18 (35:34):
We're having our house painted absolutely freeze, Oh.

Speaker 28 (35:39):
Marvelous. And mister Springer's already given home with the drums
of paint. Elizabeth.

Speaker 33 (35:43):
I had no idea there was anything worthwhile in those grads, Alice.
I still can't believing, you know, will And I had
to choose this year between having the house painted or
getting me a new fur coat, and we decided on
the house.

Speaker 14 (35:55):
Really, yes, we agreed.

Speaker 28 (35:57):
The house takes more of a beating in the window
than I do.

Speaker 14 (36:01):
Does that mean that now?

Speaker 8 (36:02):
Why not?

Speaker 32 (36:03):
Alice?

Speaker 36 (36:03):
Why not?

Speaker 28 (36:04):
I'll get your hat on. Let's go look at fur
coats right away. Shouldn't you wait until we'll if I'm
only going to look? Hello? Are you listening, Kathleen? What happened?

Speaker 14 (36:25):
Well?

Speaker 28 (36:25):
I found a fellow who had a boat, see, but
no motor.

Speaker 14 (36:29):
Yes, and you showed him your motor.

Speaker 28 (36:31):
Not exactly, No, he shold me his boat.

Speaker 33 (36:35):
Well, that is, I gave him my I.

Speaker 28 (36:37):
Oh you, and by next summer the boat will be mine.

Speaker 8 (36:40):
I hope, Henry.

Speaker 28 (36:41):
That's wonderful. My goodness, I'll be the proudest the dance.

Speaker 14 (36:47):
Just imagine I'll be the only one they're dancing with
a boy with an outboard motor. Well, Kathleen, look about
the dance.

Speaker 32 (36:58):
Yes, How would you feel if we were to give
up all activities this winter and spend two solid months
sailing around in the moonlight next summer?

Speaker 14 (37:08):
For Shelly, what do we do during the long winter evening?

Speaker 28 (37:11):
Why we can polish the boat. Polish, yeah, and grease
the motor, Shelly, I've just chok my hairder Well, I'll.

Speaker 32 (37:19):
Tell you, gee, look at the time. It's one thirty.
I'm going to get back to Springers and buy my
grab bag, and I'll bring the outboard motor right over
to your house, Kathleen, so we can admire it together.

Speaker 23 (37:46):
Sam, I'm reading my paper at.

Speaker 33 (37:49):
The dinner's ready, Yes, wes Henry up in his room.

Speaker 28 (37:53):
He doesn't feel like eating.

Speaker 15 (37:55):
I should think he wouldn't.

Speaker 23 (37:57):
Well, he can't say I didn't want him. I told
him not to come on outboard motor, Dear.

Speaker 14 (38:01):
I can't help feeling sorry, Sine.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
What on earth is he going to do with.

Speaker 14 (38:06):
A bear trap?

Speaker 23 (38:09):
Naturally, Alice, he's gonna tap bears?

Speaker 28 (38:12):
Then there isn't a bear within five hundred miles of here.

Speaker 23 (38:15):
Alice, I'm joking.

Speaker 28 (38:17):
I wouldn't feel so badly, sir, if I thought he'd
really learned a lesson from this whole thing.

Speaker 23 (38:21):
He's learned one thing, at least he won't be so
optimistic after this.

Speaker 28 (38:25):
Will you answer the phone, dear? While I served dinner, Hello, speak.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Of mister ordridgche Please which mister oliss you want? Mister
Henry dry at the moment.

Speaker 23 (38:37):
Edra, Yes, Father, you wanted all the telephone.

Speaker 36 (38:40):
That's you could take the message.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Listen, mister Jenkins, the tanner?

Speaker 28 (38:43):
What the tanner?

Speaker 23 (38:45):
I have that information regarding the cost of turning a
bear skin into a rug? What's that?

Speaker 2 (38:49):
It all depends on the size bear you trapped.

Speaker 25 (38:52):
I am not clapping any bears, and neither is anyone.

Speaker 23 (38:54):
Else in this family.

Speaker 8 (38:55):
Goodbye, Father.

Speaker 28 (38:57):
Didn't you say that phone call was from me?

Speaker 23 (38:59):
That was the Tanner Henry.

Speaker 28 (39:01):
I took care of him, you did, Father, But I
had my plans all made.

Speaker 32 (39:06):
You can just unmake them and I come on in
to dinner if if you don't mind, Father, I'd rather
go back up to see Sam.

Speaker 34 (39:14):
Dinner's on the table.

Speaker 23 (39:15):
I'm coming.

Speaker 28 (39:16):
Alice, do you know the I've been thinking.

Speaker 33 (39:18):
Couldn't you give Henry just enough money to take Kathleen
to the movies tonight?

Speaker 23 (39:21):
Know, Alice, that's the only way Youngster ever learned. I
know that was the way you had to learn.

Speaker 28 (39:26):
That's the way I had to.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Good heavens, what's that?

Speaker 34 (39:31):
What's what?

Speaker 28 (39:31):
Dear?

Speaker 2 (39:32):
That on the center of the table.

Speaker 33 (39:34):
But they they're candles, dear, you see, shaped like little
stars and they.

Speaker 36 (39:39):
Float in the water. Why why, I said, Why, well,
they're pretty.

Speaker 28 (39:46):
Sam, I want them today, and I thought i'd better
use them.

Speaker 23 (39:49):
I see, Alice, you weren't anywhere near Springer's hard where today?

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Were you?

Speaker 22 (39:54):
Why?

Speaker 2 (39:54):
How did that?

Speaker 28 (39:56):
Before you get angry?

Speaker 23 (39:57):
That's all right, Alice? Do you know what any one
who could use a dozen bottles a bubble bag? It's
for dogs. You bought a grab bag too, I'm afraid so, Alic.

Speaker 28 (40:13):
But dear, we don't even have a dog.

Speaker 14 (40:15):
You anybody who we're in the dining room, Homer.

Speaker 23 (40:19):
You certainly have to admire returning body.

Speaker 14 (40:23):
Oh gee, whiz? Is it dinner time?

Speaker 23 (40:27):
Strange coincidence?

Speaker 20 (40:29):
Yet?

Speaker 14 (40:29):
Sit down home?

Speaker 28 (40:30):
I wear one short tonight.

Speaker 14 (40:31):
Boy, I'd love to We aren't eating at our house
to marry, not at all, No, ma'am. My mother doesn't
feel she should fool around in the kitchen and her
new fur coat.

Speaker 23 (40:42):
Why doesn't she take it all?

Speaker 14 (40:43):
She doesn't dare As soon as my father gets his
hands on it, he's taking it back to the story.
What's that under your arm? Oh gee, I almost forgot.
It's my grand prize. See good heaven only my parents
felt that sentially your sister, the painted in missus, old butch,
you should have the privilege of.

Speaker 23 (41:03):
Hanging in, Harriet painted that.

Speaker 14 (41:07):
It looks good upside down too.

Speaker 23 (41:10):
What on earth is it?

Speaker 14 (41:11):
White face there in a bowl?

Speaker 26 (41:14):
Sure?

Speaker 28 (41:14):
I looked them up in the fish book.

Speaker 14 (41:17):
I think they're suckers.

Speaker 23 (41:20):
Yes, all about. You brought it to the right place, Alice,
get me a hammer.

Speaker 28 (41:25):
What are you gonna do to it?

Speaker 23 (41:26):
Hang it over the mantelpiece?

Speaker 14 (41:27):
Gee, wit there, it'll be a lesson to all of us.

Speaker 23 (41:30):
The rest of our lives.

Speaker 14 (41:43):
Boy here, if I got good news for us, you
have home? Sure, how'd you like to go to the
movies to marry?

Speaker 28 (41:49):
Now? Listen, Homer, you know we haven't got a nickel
left to our name.

Speaker 14 (41:53):
That's a beautiful part of it.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Him.

Speaker 14 (41:55):
I've invited someone to go with us who's agreed to
absorb our overhead. Well, gee, way sure, poo, Agnes Lawson.

Speaker 25 (42:02):
Well, that solves Henry's overhead problem. And ladies, a good
way for you to help solve yours when it comes
to family budgets is to serve jello puddings. Often they
cost little and they taste grand. Yes, yellow chocolate, butterscots
and vanilla puddings, a trio of treats. Chuck full of
old fashioned homemade goodness. Tomorrow night, try confetti tarts. Just

(42:24):
prepare a package of jello vanilla pudding as usual when cool,
Pour your luscious creamy jello vanilla pudding into crisped individual
baked pastry shells, chill thoroughly, then top with a generous
helping of well drained canned fruit cocktails. Remember all three
jello puddings made with milk are nourishing, and they cook
the perfection in just about five minutes. No wonder, more

(42:48):
people buy jello puddings than any other prepared puddings in
the world. Friends, let's recognize this fact. Our American economic
system has brought greater material means for happiness to more
people than any other the world has known, and it

(43:11):
has preserved the basic freedoms. So let's all of its
strive to make that economic system even better. As an
employee or employer, as a farmer, or as a professional man. Remember,
the better we produce, the better we live. The Old

(43:32):
Rich Family, starring as Riston as Henry with Jackie Kalcus Homer,
is written by Patricia Jowdry and Dell Ginsdale with music
by Jack Miller, Mister and Missus Aldrich, Our House Jamison
and Katherine Rodd. And this is dan Seymour in New
York saying the all Rich Family is brought to you
by the Jello Family.

Speaker 28 (43:53):
Boy Desert said, I'm delicious. I believe me.

Speaker 14 (43:57):
You should know they are made by famous.

Speaker 28 (44:02):
Jay e O.

Speaker 25 (44:08):
Listen again next Thursday, same time, same station, Another sparkling
half hour with the Aldrich familer.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Seventy seven years ago, November eighteenth, nineteen forty eight, the
Aldridge Family on Classic Radio Theater with wyattalks. On that
same day on ABC, Bud abbat lu Costello were holding
forth and we'll hear Sam Shovel detective story.

Speaker 20 (44:33):
Next, here's Marlon Brando with a message of interest to
federal income taxpayers.

Speaker 37 (44:46):
Now, no one pretends to Preparing and filing your federal
income tax is the most pleasant task in the world.
But if you take care of it early, the job
will be a great deal more pleasant. You'll be able
to have time to read a new line by line
instruction book with carefully. You'll be able to check your
figures and avoid those feverish last minute mistakes. And if
you run into a tax problem, your internal Revenue service

(45:08):
office will be able to answer your questions efficiently. Avoid
the rush file early.

Speaker 16 (45:15):
It's better.

Speaker 20 (45:17):
of Emotion Picture Industry of the United States, and.

Speaker 5 (45:25):
We're Gonna stay seventy seven years ago, November eighteenth, nineteen
forty eight. Bud Abbot and Lou Costello and another Sam
Spade detective story.

Speaker 16 (45:36):
Hey Abbott, what time is it?

Speaker 2 (45:37):
It's time for the Abt Costello Show.

Speaker 15 (45:39):
We're on their for ABC here in Hollywood.

Speaker 12 (45:41):
Well, what to wait for?

Speaker 16 (45:42):
Let's go with the Abdon Costello Show.

Speaker 38 (45:57):
Yes, it's the Abbott and Costello Show and transcribed in Hollywood.

Speaker 23 (46:01):
If you're listening and.

Speaker 39 (46:01):
Laughing pleasure and chuckles with a car load and music
by Matty Malvenk, it's a hold on your chairs.

Speaker 8 (46:07):
Folks were here, they are? What happened at whoa gos?

Speaker 37 (46:10):
Get all?

Speaker 4 (46:21):
All right?

Speaker 2 (46:21):
All right?

Speaker 15 (46:22):
Castello? Here I am. What are you so excited about?

Speaker 26 (46:25):
Oh?

Speaker 15 (46:25):
I just play.

Speaker 16 (46:25):
I just finished playing my first game of football with
the California Girls team.

Speaker 15 (46:28):
You play football with girls? Yeah, on a girls team.
I'll bet that's exciting.

Speaker 16 (46:34):
Oh well, the play ain't so exciting. But all those huddles.

Speaker 15 (46:39):
I never heard of girls playing football. Where do they
get their players?

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Oh?

Speaker 16 (46:43):
They picked the girls according to the shape. You know, quarterbacks,
half backs. You want to see those full backs. I'm
going steady with the Senate because she's pretty well, she's
the next thing to Lauren Bicole.

Speaker 26 (46:55):
She is.

Speaker 16 (46:55):
Yeah, she looks like Humphrey Bogut, but she loves to
play games. Last night we played for Cheesy for cheesy. Yes,
first I would kiss her and she would kiss me,
and then I would kiss her.

Speaker 15 (47:07):
Wait, wait a minute, Wait a minute, who told her
that was part cheesy?

Speaker 7 (47:12):
I did?

Speaker 8 (47:12):
Oh hey yy.

Speaker 16 (47:24):
Blet's instead of sitting home and playing silly games. Well,
why don't you take it to the movies?

Speaker 15 (47:29):
Oh?

Speaker 16 (47:29):
I tried to. They bought fourteen tickets, but we can
get in. Why not every time I bought a ticket
from the cashier, some diy in you from at the
door with tear him up? Well, I don't know why
a girl would bother you with you in the first place.
You're ugly, fat, dumpy, ignorant. Before you go any further,
I want to say one thing, or's that don't go
any further. When it comes to idiot's castella, you can

(47:50):
go to the head of the class.

Speaker 36 (47:51):
Thank you, mister.

Speaker 16 (47:52):
Rabbit, and I sure work hard enough to get there.

Speaker 8 (47:54):
That's what I saw.

Speaker 40 (48:05):
Sh sh.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Sh sh.

Speaker 14 (48:42):
Sh sh.

Speaker 20 (49:16):
He.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Wait a bit, where have you been?

Speaker 16 (49:18):
Where have you been?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Old?

Speaker 8 (49:20):
Whoa?

Speaker 16 (49:20):
I don't know what I'm doing tonight?

Speaker 15 (49:22):
I know where have you been?

Speaker 2 (49:24):
All week? Monday?

Speaker 16 (49:25):
My girlfriend gave me a fancy pink silk un your shuit,
all trim with lace. I wore a tuessie and got
hit by a car. They took me to the hospital.
I'll love the way that union should again. It took
me three days and took myself out of the maternity ward.

Speaker 15 (49:41):
They treat you nice in the hospital.

Speaker 16 (49:43):
Nice, they sure did. Every day. For dessert, I had
a California Sunday. It's two scoops of two d free
ice cream with pineapp strawberry apricots, prons, pink and shoes,
had nuts, whipped cream, and six Marachino cherries. And they
serve it all into hospitals. Now, well, wait a minute,
why would any hospital want to serve concoctions like that?
Can you think of a better place to get sick?

Speaker 15 (50:03):
Well, anyway, you had a good Restlue.

Speaker 16 (50:05):
Oh no, I didn't. I didn't sleep a winking that hospital.

Speaker 15 (50:08):
Well, how did you sleep on your right side of
your left side?

Speaker 16 (50:10):
I sleep flat on my back?

Speaker 15 (50:12):
Here you are, that's your trouble.

Speaker 16 (50:13):
People who sleep on their back all the time get
their back out of shape and all crooked. You must
sleep on your face while you're in the hospital. You
should have consulted the psychiatrist, loop psychiatrist. Any guy who
would go to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Castella,

(50:38):
How did you ever become such a complete idiot? I
got friends in Washington, you know how?

Speaker 15 (50:48):
You know how?

Speaker 16 (50:49):
They loved me in that hospital. One of the doctors
introduced me to a beautiful nurses. She invited me to
a party. Well, now that's very nice thought. Now that
you're out of the hospital, you should reciprocate, definitely, because
left the roll. Hm hmm, Could I have that again? Sure,
I said, reciprocate. Don't you always reciprocate after you've been
invited to a party. It all depends on what they serve.

Speaker 8 (51:13):
No, no, no, Castella.

Speaker 16 (51:14):
Reciprocate means to return a favor. For instance, of a
friend of mine got me a date with a beautiful blonde.
I reciprocate if he gets me a date with a
gorgeous redhead, I reciprocate. Now, when somebody gets you a
date with a beautiful girl, what do you do? I
do the same thing you do, only I don't lie
about it.

Speaker 15 (51:39):
Never mind that. What was it that big package that
arrifor you this afternoon.

Speaker 16 (51:42):
It's a new television, said I bought for Uncle Mike. Oh,
I gotta go right back home and hook it up.

Speaker 15 (51:46):
Oh what does your uncle Mike want with a television set?

Speaker 16 (51:49):
He wants to see what doctor IQ does with that
woman in the balcony.

Speaker 15 (52:00):
Yell, uncome Mike.

Speaker 16 (52:01):
All he does is listen to the radio, and now
with a television set, he'll never get out of the house. Oh,
Uncle Michael's all right. He hit us all the radio contests.
Last week. He was in a contest for a beer company.
He had a send in twenty five beer bottle caps.

Speaker 8 (52:14):
And a slogan.

Speaker 15 (52:15):
Well did he write a good slogan.

Speaker 16 (52:18):
After twenty five balls of beer? He couldn't even see
the paper.

Speaker 15 (52:24):
Well, anyway, radio is a wonderful thing.

Speaker 16 (52:25):
Casteala just think it fills the air with voices and
personalities of all the gorgeous Hollywood stars. What are you
doing filling my lungs with Rita Hey?

Speaker 15 (52:38):
Wos d a Hey with us?

Speaker 26 (52:45):
All right?

Speaker 15 (52:45):
But she's just like any other girl.

Speaker 8 (52:47):
What do you mean?

Speaker 15 (52:48):
Well, take away her beautiful hair and her lovely complexion.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
What have you got?

Speaker 16 (52:52):
I don't know, but you can send it over to
my house in the morning. You certainly loved the California girls,
don't you.

Speaker 7 (53:02):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 16 (53:03):
When I was back home in Patterson, New Jersey, I
said to my mother, I said, Mom, take me out
west where men are men and the women are women
are wide, that's all. Take me out West where.

Speaker 25 (53:12):
Women are.

Speaker 15 (53:15):
What makes you think the women in Hollywood go for you?

Speaker 16 (53:17):
Well, I'm a pretty regular guy and a pretty popular guy. Abbot.
The day we moved to Los Angeles, I want a
city wide contest, a city white contest. What far for
being the whitest guy in the city. And they give
me a beautiful chicken a surprize, A Roade Island purple.
She lays thirty ages a day. Wait a minute, Wait
a minute, let's straighten this out. You mean a Rhode
Island red Abbot. When a chicken lays thirty ags a day,
she's purple Gotsella. I've come to the conclusions you are

(53:44):
the most stupid man in the world.

Speaker 15 (53:45):
Even as a child, you were stupid.

Speaker 16 (53:47):
Oh no, I wasn't. Back in Patterson, when I was
only one year old, I proved that I was the
smartest baby in town.

Speaker 15 (53:51):
How'd you do it?

Speaker 16 (53:52):
One day I was playing around the stove. I picked
up a red hot coal. Nobody had to tell me
to put it down.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Hey, Uncle Louis, Uncle Louie, pitch a couple to me?

Speaker 16 (54:05):
Will you that' Sabbit's nephew. Folks, Norman, what are you
doing dressed up in a baseball in uniform? The baseball
scene is nova. Oh let him alone, Gustella. Norman likes baseball.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Yeah, yeah, I'm nuts about baseball. I played baseball all
the time. I live baseball, I eat baseball, and when
I go to sleep at night, I even dream of baseball.

Speaker 16 (54:20):
Don't you ever dream about girls?

Speaker 7 (54:22):
What?

Speaker 15 (54:22):
And miss my?

Speaker 8 (54:23):
Turn it back right?

Speaker 7 (54:29):
Get out of here.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Okay, But before I go, I'd like to tell you
I should like that moron ty you're wearing.

Speaker 16 (54:34):
You mean maron tie moron is an idiot. Yeah, an
only an idiot would wear that tie. I don't like
that guy abbit right all day long, dreams about baseball.
He ain't got no romance in it's soul.

Speaker 15 (54:48):
Oh so what if you don't know anything about romance either.

Speaker 16 (54:51):
You should have been with me last night in a
cozy living room, sitting room, sitting on a love seat,
all the lights out and it was pitch dark.

Speaker 15 (54:58):
Wait a minute, wait a minute, did you did you
have a girl with you?

Speaker 16 (55:00):
Well before, I'm not afraid of the dark. Well, hello boy,
hey look, Castello, it's our lovely new secretary of the
Olivan chief Viola. You look lovely tonight. That's a gorgeous
dress you're wearing.

Speaker 4 (55:20):
Oh well, thank you.

Speaker 34 (55:21):
Do you think it brings out my curves?

Speaker 16 (55:24):
Does it?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
Yes?

Speaker 16 (55:27):
It curves here, and it curves there, and some of it.
Don't even stay on the road. I'll talk, sends Castella Viola.
How do you like California compared to New York?

Speaker 18 (55:37):
Well, it's wonderful, but the time confuses me. You know,
California is the only state that still has daylight saving time.

Speaker 16 (55:44):
You know that daylight saving time is kind of silly
to me too. You really don't save anything with daylight
saving time?

Speaker 2 (55:48):
You don't.

Speaker 16 (55:49):
Yeah, it's just like sitting down. What you're losing the front,
you're gaining the back.

Speaker 15 (55:55):
No, never mind him, viola. What do you hear from
that uncle of yours in London?

Speaker 18 (56:00):
I received a postcard from my uncle this morning. He's
having a fine time. He spent the weekend voting on
the English Channel.

Speaker 16 (56:07):
Vouting My cousin Vincent swam across the English Channel underwater.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
But that's preposterous.

Speaker 18 (56:16):
Any man who did that would drown.

Speaker 16 (56:18):
The funeral is Wednesday, jeev. Heola, I'm glad you came
to work for us. How about giving a little kiss?

Speaker 18 (56:29):
Oh you Hollywood men are so impetuous. The first night
you meet a girl you want to kiss.

Speaker 16 (56:35):
Well, I mean a guy like me, hash to, they
don't show up the second night. Oh Leola, I've knowniced.
You've been rather cool towards Castelli.

Speaker 15 (56:46):
You never put your arms around him or not.

Speaker 26 (56:48):
Well.

Speaker 14 (56:49):
I was sort of waiting until till you know me
a little longer, No, till my.

Speaker 17 (56:54):
Arms get a little longer.

Speaker 15 (57:00):
Isn't today your birthday?

Speaker 32 (57:01):
The old one?

Speaker 18 (57:01):
Yes it is, I'm eighteen.

Speaker 16 (57:03):
Think of it. You're sweet eighteen and I'm sweet twenty four.
Well what about me, Abbitt, you're a sour sixty five?

Speaker 15 (57:12):
Never mind that you're a.

Speaker 16 (57:13):
Chief skate Castello. It's Viello's birthday and you didn't get
her a present.

Speaker 18 (57:16):
Oh that's all right, Costello, even if you don't express
your felicitations on my natal day with a tangible token
of remembrance.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
I want you to know that I understand.

Speaker 26 (57:26):
Good.

Speaker 16 (57:28):
Now that you understand it, explain it to me. La
Costello is very forgetful about birthdays. Last week was my
wife's birthday and they didn't send her a present either. No,
I didn't get your wife a present, but don't forget
I wrote her a poem.

Speaker 17 (57:41):
You wrote Abbitt's wife a poem?

Speaker 16 (57:43):
Yeah, how did it go to miss Betty Abbott? Your
clothes are really awfully cheap, And speaking of your sweater,
give bet the world to those poor sheep on them?
It looks much better.

Speaker 18 (58:07):
That's a terrible poem, Castello, but it's got a terrible one.

Speaker 15 (58:12):
You'll have to forgive Castelo.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
V La.

Speaker 15 (58:14):
He is ignorant. He's uneducated.

Speaker 16 (58:16):
Just a minute, because I went to school and I
studied science for instance, I know that the Sun is
five billion miles from the Earth, and the light from
the Sun comes down to the Earth in exactly thirty seconds.

Speaker 18 (58:29):
Isn't a wonderful castello?

Speaker 16 (58:31):
What's wonderful about it? It's downhill all the way. Yeah,

(59:51):
Oh well, go back to work tonight. Let's hear from
our blonde beautie pie, little little Bitsy Virginia Maxie.

Speaker 34 (01:00:03):
One Tell.

Speaker 30 (01:00:06):
Gustell guste One, Telegustela, Gustela, Gustela, Gustela, Gustela Gusta gotta
get going?

Speaker 34 (01:00:11):
Where we go?

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
And what are we gonna do? We're on our way
to somewhere, the three of us and you what we
see there? Who will be there will be the big surprise?
There may be.

Speaker 41 (01:00:21):
Cavalleros with that compassion. Guys, we're on our We pack
up your pack and if we stay, if we won't
come back, how.

Speaker 13 (01:00:30):
Can we go?

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
We haven't got a time, but we're going, so we're
gonna have a happy sure.

Speaker 15 (01:00:39):
Now.

Speaker 41 (01:00:40):
Someone said they just came back from somewhere, a friend
of mine that I don't even know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
He said, there's lots of fun if we can get there.
If that's the case, if that's the place it's the please,
we want to go. You gotta get go? And where
we go? And what are we gonna do? We're on
our way to somewhere, the three of us and you.
What we see there? Who will be there? What will

(01:01:08):
be the big surprise?

Speaker 41 (01:01:09):
There may be a couple of yettos with dark and
flashing eyes. I'll take a trail, you take a boat,
I'll ride a play You take the gug Oh, wait o,
care really the walker climb?

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
But we're going. We're gonna have a happy can.

Speaker 30 (01:01:29):
One tell Agustella, Gustella, Gustella, Gustella, Gustella, Gustella, Gusta. One
tele Agustella, Gustela, Gustela, Gustela, Gustella, Gusta.

Speaker 4 (01:01:35):
We're going, We're going. We're gonna have a happy child.

Speaker 15 (01:01:54):
All right, guy, Sella, come out here? What's that you
having your hand?

Speaker 16 (01:01:57):
A picture of my grandfather, General Stonewall Costello. What a
hero havebitt? He fought in the Spanish American War. Every
time he went off the battle, all the girls in
Patterson would line up to kiss him goodbye. Wait a minute,
every time he went to battle, all the girls and
Patterson kissed him goodbye. Yes, the war ended in eighteen
ninety eight, but they couldn't get Grandpatter stopped fighting till
nineteen thirty five.

Speaker 15 (01:02:18):
He must have been some fighter.

Speaker 16 (01:02:19):
Yes, she taught me to fight. I became quite a boxer.
I remember my first fight. In the third round, my
manager threw towelling and I won. For wait a minute,
how could you win if you're a manager threw in
the towel. He threw it over my opponent's size.

Speaker 15 (01:02:31):
Yeah, dummy, you no fighter. You're not an athlete. There's
not an athlete in your whole fam.

Speaker 26 (01:02:35):
Oh, yes there is.

Speaker 16 (01:02:36):
My brother patis a famous athlete. Just last week he
pitched a no hit game. Oh, lots of guys that
pitched no hit games in football, Costello, You and your
brother Patta the dopiest guys.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
In the world.

Speaker 16 (01:02:50):
Yes, I meant nobody adoping and him and me, Well, no,
that's incorrect. You just say there's nobody a dopia. Then
he and I, Okay, there's nobody adopia than him and you.

Speaker 15 (01:03:03):
Well, never mind that. How is Pat getting along with this?
Is that new girl?

Speaker 16 (01:03:05):
Oh well, for a while he had a pretty tough
so every time Pat went over to see her, brother
would throw him out of the house last week, or
brother went away to college and things are different. What
do you mean now her father throws him out of
the house.

Speaker 7 (01:03:17):
Pad working?

Speaker 16 (01:03:17):
Oh yes, he's got a job at a milk company
and he works like a horse.

Speaker 15 (01:03:20):
What does he do?

Speaker 16 (01:03:20):
He pulls one of the wagons, Stello, What do you want, Norman?

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
Are you gonna do another one of them Sam shovel
misery programs tonight?

Speaker 16 (01:03:34):
Look, Norman, look at the script. That's mystery.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
I listened to the show.

Speaker 17 (01:03:39):
Brother, it's misery.

Speaker 16 (01:03:43):
But if you don't keep that nephew out of here,
I'm gonna flaten him. I'll hit him in the head
so hot that his shoes will have free tongue.

Speaker 15 (01:03:47):
I'll lay off here, leave alone. Maybe he doesn't like
your sam shovel program.

Speaker 16 (01:03:54):
Well everyone else does. Now here's a letter I got
from one of my fans this morning.

Speaker 7 (01:03:57):
Listen to this.

Speaker 16 (01:03:57):
Do you look Costello? I listened to your sam Shovel
Detected for last week? You were so funny. I left
my head off. I'm coming to the studio to see
you tonight. There's a man out here to see you.
What as you look like?

Speaker 12 (01:04:08):
How can I tell his head?

Speaker 14 (01:04:09):
Us?

Speaker 12 (01:04:09):
Off.

Speaker 16 (01:04:15):
Well, enough of this nonsense, goutsilla. What does your saying
Shovel detective story about tonight? It's one of my greatest cases.

Speaker 22 (01:04:20):
Have it?

Speaker 16 (01:04:20):
I call it the case of the Russian diplomat who
took the six pm boat back to Russia? Or red
Sails in the sunset.

Speaker 15 (01:04:29):
Well, it sounds addressing. Let's get on with the case.

Speaker 16 (01:04:32):
Had enough.

Speaker 19 (01:04:37):
Now the makers of Swanee River Cold Cream bring you
the adventures of Sam Shuttle.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
I have a detective.

Speaker 26 (01:04:44):
But first a word about our product.

Speaker 19 (01:04:46):
Swaneye River Cold Cream is the only cold cream that
contains peanut butter.

Speaker 7 (01:04:53):
Ah.

Speaker 19 (01:04:53):
What a time saving device this is, ladies. Now you
can cream your face and have your lunch at the
same time. And friends, remember we can sell Swanny River
Cold Cream cheaper than any other brand because we've done
away with costly containers.

Speaker 26 (01:05:09):
We use no tubes, no boxes, no jars.

Speaker 19 (01:05:12):
Just walk into your drug store, ask for Swanny River
Cold Cream and hold out your hand. Now with the
further adventures of Sam Shovel Private Detective.

Speaker 16 (01:05:31):
Yeah, I'm Sam Shovel, Sam Shovel Private Detective. The detective
business has been allows you lately. I ain't got a
Nickel to my name. I guess it's just as well.
How would a sound of people call me Sam shovel Nickel.
Last night somebody ransacked my office. They went over it
with a fine toothcomb. I know they went over with

(01:05:53):
a fine toothcomb because this morning when I came in,
the horsehair sofa had a part in it. I'm so mad.
I can see red I red in the office. Across
the court, I see the beautiful scenographer combing her hair.
She just combed out her bangs. I'm a little thirsty.

(01:06:17):
I think I'll have some orange juice. I squeezed my
orange juice the hard way, the hard way. I placed
the orange in my mouth, stick my head in the doorway,
and slowly close the door. On my way to the office,
I found a woman's handbag. I wonder what's in it.

(01:06:37):
I decide to empty the contents on my desk that
takes care of the change purse. I wonder what's in
the bag. I look at my appointment book. I see
that tonight I have a date with a gorgeous peach.
I think I'll break it and make a date with

(01:06:58):
a girl. I look out the window and the garage
across the street. The mechanic is working on.

Speaker 15 (01:07:05):
A car on your buck gets set go.

Speaker 16 (01:07:13):
No matter what car comes in, he always races the
motor coming up the street. I see my pile. Lieutenant
Abbitt of the homicide squad, what a cop Whenever the
police department makes a raid. Lieutenant Abbit is a spearhead.
Not that he's so brave, but he's the only cop
in the department with a head like a spear. Abbot

(01:07:37):
is a quiet cop. Every Sunday he sits home and
listens to the radio. He's trying to win the jackpot
on stop the music. He's trying to win it the
hard way, the hard way. He has no telephone. It's
a chilly day, and I've got a fire going in

(01:07:58):
the kitchenett of my little office. There's a kettle boiling
on the stove. Hello, Sam Shovel, what's that smell coming
from your kitchenette? It's my washing.

Speaker 15 (01:08:11):
I thought it smelled too good to be your cooking.

Speaker 16 (01:08:17):
I'm mighty tired, Sam, so are your jokes. I'm really tired.
I've just been out on a wild goose chase. What
were you chasing a wild goose? Lieutenant Abbot used to
be a comedian. Try to make a living. He tried
to make a living with his monkey shines. He had

(01:08:38):
to give it up. There's no money in shining monkeys.
Lieutenant Abbitt, I've got bad news for you. Your cook
was picked up this morning for passing a bad check.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Whose check was it yours?

Speaker 16 (01:08:52):
That's not funny, Sam Shovel. You wanted a friend of mine,
I'd punch you in the nose. I knew Lieutenant Abbott
was only bluffing and punch his way out of a
paper bag. But that don't worry him. After all, how
often do you get stuck in a paper bag? Waitte?
Got the small town talk, Sam. Lefty Lumpet is in
town and he's gunning for you. I know that, Lieutenant.

(01:09:14):
I've already notified the police. They've flown a net over
the city. I'll call headquarters and see how they're making out. Hello, Chief, Yes,
it's a Sam Shovel. Have you got that net out
for Lefty Lumpet?

Speaker 26 (01:09:27):
Yes?

Speaker 16 (01:09:28):
How's the networking? Did you catch Lefty yet?

Speaker 26 (01:09:30):
No?

Speaker 7 (01:09:31):
That's working fine, alrighty, We've caught three butterflies.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Damn, this is really serious.

Speaker 15 (01:09:41):
Lefty Lumpet is a killer.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
He's out to get you.

Speaker 15 (01:09:43):
He may be on his way here now, and I
know you're afraid of him.

Speaker 16 (01:09:47):
Me afraid of Lefty lumpet pish tush. I'd like to
see the day I'd be afraid of him.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Oh sham, this is the day.

Speaker 16 (01:10:04):
Before me stood the toughest killer on the coast. When
he was eight years old, he shot his father mother.
Then he asked the judge for mercy on the grounds
that he was an orphan. What a tough mug. He's
got cauliflower ears. Never was a fighter, It's just that
his ears was made out of cauliflowers. I noticed Lieutenant

(01:10:27):
Abbot's hand reached for his holster.

Speaker 19 (01:10:28):
Abbot's gun, barked, Okay, coppers, I got your covered, Sam Shovel,
I got one bullet in this gun.

Speaker 26 (01:10:36):
It's for you. I'm gonna give you a break.

Speaker 22 (01:10:38):
Sam.

Speaker 16 (01:10:39):
I'll put that bullet wherever you say. If it's all
the same to you, put it in. Lieutenant Abbot. They're
pretty clever. Left the glumphead. You're one of the smartest
burglars in the business. But there's something I want to ask.

Speaker 15 (01:10:53):
You, Eh, how is it you you've never been caught robbing.

Speaker 23 (01:10:56):
AT's easy, it's easy.

Speaker 26 (01:10:58):
I only rob houses on Thursday nights.

Speaker 15 (01:11:01):
Why did you pick Thursday nights?

Speaker 19 (01:11:02):
Because ABC is still around the air Thursday nights, and Brother,
when they're on the air, nobody stays home.

Speaker 16 (01:11:11):
Lefty, that's a lie, Abdon Costeller on right now. I'll
prove it to lie by checking with the police department. Hello,
police department, can you tell me we.

Speaker 7 (01:11:25):
Ain't got time to talk to you now? Why every
house in town is being robbed?

Speaker 16 (01:11:36):
I had taken all I could stand from that killer.
Quick as a flash, I pulled my gun. Sam, Lefty
is seriously wounded. Your bullet went through a shoulder. Called
the hospital.

Speaker 4 (01:11:48):
What have you done? What have you done? Sam Shovel?

Speaker 26 (01:11:51):
You shot my boyfriend, Lefty.

Speaker 16 (01:11:53):
Girl, the most gorgeous moloney in the world.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
She's beautiful.

Speaker 17 (01:11:56):
Look, he's bleeding.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
Call the hospital.

Speaker 18 (01:12:00):
He's the only boyfriend I've gone and he's liable to die.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
Call the hospital.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
If he dies, who's gonna love me and squeeze me
and kiss me.

Speaker 12 (01:12:11):
All the more?

Speaker 42 (01:13:21):
Well?

Speaker 15 (01:13:21):
God, Tella, I gotta give you credit. You're in their
pitching tonight.

Speaker 16 (01:13:24):
Yes, And I'd like to give a little credit to
our team.

Speaker 15 (01:13:27):
Habbit.

Speaker 16 (01:13:27):
Everybody knows I'm always pitching and Abbit, you're always catching.
But we got other players on a team.

Speaker 15 (01:13:32):
Oh sure, what's on second?

Speaker 20 (01:13:34):
No?

Speaker 16 (01:13:34):
No, no, no, no, no, We're not going to start that.
I just wanted to say that our writing staff is
headed by Eddie Foreman, with Paul Colin, Pat Costello, Martin
Ragaway and Lynn Stern. That's right, and Maddy Melnick leads
a band and all this nonsense is put together by
our producer, Charles Vanda, and we'd love to have you
all with us again next Thursday night. Thanks to them
for working and thanks to you for listening. I hope

(01:13:55):
we'll be back next Thursday night. Good Night, folks, good night,
can night, everybody.

Speaker 39 (01:13:58):
In Tatterson, good night. Listen next Thursday night at this time,
WENO are great. Abbot Costello Shall produced and transcribing Hollywood.
Be sure to stay tuned for the outstanding entertainment which
follows ROP evening on this SABC station.

Speaker 5 (01:14:25):
Gotta love those Sam Shovels. Stories from Bud Abbott and
Lou Costello. Seventy seven years ago, November eighteenth, nineteen forty eight,
Here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox Tomorrow our
Wednesday program, we'll get back to crime counter Spy in
the case of the Pseudo Spuds for Calling All Cars

(01:14:46):
from nineteen thirty six and the corpse in the Red
Neck Tie. We'll also hear an episode of Escape Casting
the Ruins and an episode of Suspense from nineteen sixty
one Comedy again on Thursday, as we get into Thanksgiving,
They're gonna be mixed Bags for about a week with

(01:15:06):
more stuff from Thanksgiving Amos and Andy, Let George do It,
Bob Bailey, Cavalcade of America, Jeff Reagan Investigator on Thursday.
Friday Lumon, Abner Maxwell House, Coffee Time, Jack Benny, and
The Great guilders Sleeve. Saturday Harold Perry as not only
Guildersleeve but also Honest Harold the Homemaker in two different shows,

(01:15:30):
also Doctor Christian, The Prelude to Thanksgiving and the Story
of Tarzan and the African Thanksgiving. On Sunday, Good News
of nineteen forty Bobby Ellison, the Aldridge Family and Jack Benny.
And then on Monday, Good News of nineteen thirty nine
with the Andy Harding movie cast, Stephen Dunn as Sam

(01:15:51):
Spade and Points Sublime starring Cliff Arquette, and then a
week from today, Abbott and Costello their Thanksgiving show the
Hallmark Playhouse, Martha Scott and Jack Kirkwood in Freeland, and
the new Edgar Bergenauer. That's all coming up here on
Classic Radio Theater, with Wyattos coming up next. Speaking of

(01:16:14):
Harold Perry, here he is in a moment as Great
Guilders sleep.

Speaker 20 (01:16:24):
Let's listen to Zazu Picks as she talks over the
telephone to her internal Revenue service office about her income
tax problems.

Speaker 27 (01:16:34):
Isn't this the Income Tax Bureau?

Speaker 12 (01:16:36):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
It is?

Speaker 27 (01:16:37):
I thought so because I called another number. Oh, I
always call the wrong number. That's the only way I
get the right one. Do I have my records here?

Speaker 26 (01:16:47):
Well?

Speaker 27 (01:16:48):
Not here in the next room, shine on Harvest Moon
and oh you don't mean that kind Oh canceled checks
and receipts, And well I'm looking, Oh where are they?

Speaker 22 (01:17:04):
What you say?

Speaker 27 (01:17:06):
I should find all my records, read my instruction booklet
and the forum and then call up and you'll be
glad to help me. Well, thank you, mister internal revenue man.
I will and I'll call you back tomorrow, I promise,
With all my records and everything to find out about
my tax problem.

Speaker 20 (01:17:25):
If you have a problem with your federal income text,
now's the time to call your district or local office
with the facts in mind to get the help you need.
This was a public service announcement presented in cooperation with
the Motion Picture Industry of the United States.

Speaker 5 (01:17:41):
Now we go back to nineteen forty five, eighty years ago,
Harold Perry boycotting they're Jolly Boys. In this episode of
The Great Guilders.

Speaker 25 (01:17:51):
Sleep, the Craft Foods Company presents a Great Guilder Slave.

(01:18:13):
It's the Great Guildersleeves Darring Harold Perry, brought to you
by the Craft Foods Company, bakers of Park Margarine, and
a complete line of famous quality food products. Now, let's
peep into the world of Summerfield and see what goes
on there. It's Thursday night, not Saturday, but a familiar

(01:18:34):
commotion upstairs over Floyd Munson's barbershop leads us to conclude
that the Jolly Boys Club is assembled there.

Speaker 43 (01:18:40):
Let's just start it.

Speaker 22 (01:18:43):
Let's have order, please, gentlemen.

Speaker 26 (01:18:44):
Nobody wants ordered. Judge, we're trying to organize a poker game.

Speaker 22 (01:18:47):
We have a request from a member guilty for a
brief business session?

Speaker 26 (01:18:50):
What member? What business?

Speaker 20 (01:18:52):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
We never do any business.

Speaker 22 (01:18:53):
Floyd Munson has made the request, Chief, and I feel
we should honor it. Munson, do something to bring the
attention to I'll say, dress the chair and you may
have the floor.

Speaker 26 (01:19:03):
Address the chair, and you may have who made him chairman? Anyway,
please kill.

Speaker 36 (01:19:08):
They, mister chairman, Fellow members. I'll say what I gotta
say and you can take it from there. And I
might say before I start, I'm sorry to have to
bring this up at this time. The clubrooms here belong
to me. Of course, the bank's got a piece of it,
but the building's in my name.

Speaker 26 (01:19:28):
And the wifs all right, all right, what of it?

Speaker 25 (01:19:32):
Order?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
Order and can you fly?

Speaker 36 (01:19:35):
Well, I've been letting the club use the place. Glad
to have you, but something's come up. Day before yesterday
I had a chance to rent it, rent it.

Speaker 26 (01:19:43):
Who'd want to rent this dump?

Speaker 36 (01:19:45):
Well it was a young fella and the girl just married.
What do they care where they live?

Speaker 26 (01:19:53):
Anyhow? They offered me twenty bucks a month.

Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
That's a lot of money for this place.

Speaker 26 (01:19:57):
Flooring inflation, Chief, that's what it is.

Speaker 36 (01:20:00):
Well, the OPA said it was okay. I figure I
can't afford to turn it down.

Speaker 26 (01:20:04):
You gotta turn it down. This is the Jolly Boys headquarters.
You can't rent it to any Tom, Dick and Harry
that wants to go on a honeymoon.

Speaker 31 (01:20:09):
Well.

Speaker 36 (01:20:09):
I was talking it over with the wife last night
and I told her that.

Speaker 26 (01:20:12):
I said, Lovey, the fellas won't like it. The club's
been a second home to them.

Speaker 22 (01:20:17):
Why did she say, Floyd?

Speaker 26 (01:20:19):
Well, let's know, use going into that.

Speaker 11 (01:20:23):
To hurt.

Speaker 26 (01:20:23):
Twenty bucks is twenty bucks at least. But now if
the club was to pay me rent, why naturally I'd
be glad to have you fellas stay on. Oh, so
that's it. You call yourself a jolly boy, Floyd, you're
a hold up man, that's what you are.

Speaker 22 (01:20:36):
If I may step from the chair for a moment,
Gilder sleep, you're being ridiculous.

Speaker 26 (01:20:41):
Just back in the chair.

Speaker 22 (01:20:44):
Let's just look at this thing. Sensibly, we're asking Floyd
to give up twenty dollars a month so we can
have a club room. Is that the way for jolly boys.

Speaker 26 (01:20:51):
To treat each other?

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
No, that's terrible.

Speaker 26 (01:20:54):
It's all there is to it.

Speaker 22 (01:20:55):
We've got to reimburse Floyd for the use of the
club rooms and now resume chair ool golt. Do I
hear a motion that we reimburse Floyd for the use
of the club room? Want someone make the motion?

Speaker 26 (01:21:10):
I'd be willing to make it. That's illegal and unconstitutional. Listen, fellows,
there's only five members in this club. Do you realize
we'd each have to pay four dollars a month's dues?

Speaker 22 (01:21:19):
Mini clubs charge even moa.

Speaker 26 (01:21:21):
Not for a drafty room with a kitchen table and
a busted piano.

Speaker 36 (01:21:24):
Oh, it ain't a bad piano. The Elks don't have
no piano at all.

Speaker 26 (01:21:27):
The Elks have two pool tables. Sure when they pay
dues they get something for it.

Speaker 22 (01:21:31):
Well, if we had more members, the dues wouldn't have
to be high.

Speaker 36 (01:21:34):
Hey, you might have something there, Judge, don't be child,
he's Floyd.

Speaker 26 (01:21:37):
When you ask people to join a club, they expect
to get something for their money, like a pool table.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
Couldn't you get all of a pool table someplace for him?

Speaker 26 (01:21:44):
Pool tables cost a lot of money.

Speaker 22 (01:21:46):
I know who's got a pool table. Maybe he'd be
willing to join the club and let us have it.
Then we could put on a real membership drive.

Speaker 26 (01:21:53):
Well, who's got it?

Speaker 22 (01:21:54):
Your friend and neighbor, Gilly RUMs and Bullet.

Speaker 26 (01:21:57):
Has Bullet got a pool table? No fool' It's sure would.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
Be nice to have a pool table right in your house.
That's my idea of living.

Speaker 26 (01:22:05):
Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know whether Bullet's
got one or not. You've seen it, horse, I assume
you had.

Speaker 22 (01:22:12):
Haven't you ever been in your rich neighbor's house, Guilty.

Speaker 26 (01:22:14):
On numerous occasions, But I never saw any pool tables.

Speaker 36 (01:22:17):
Well, a pool table's pretty tough to hide.

Speaker 26 (01:22:20):
Ain't like a day bed, you know.

Speaker 22 (01:22:22):
No, he might have a billiard room in the basement,
a playroom.

Speaker 9 (01:22:26):
Probably lots of people have playrooms down in the basement,
right there with the furnace.

Speaker 22 (01:22:31):
I hear, Well, why don't we look into it. You
drop over there tomorrow, Guilty and see if he wants
to join, then ask him to lend us the pool table.

Speaker 9 (01:22:40):
Why me hits for the Jolly Boys, Commissioner. Sounds like
the only way we can hold the Jolly Boys together.

Speaker 26 (01:22:46):
Well, if you put it that way, But I'm not
very anxious to call on RUMs and Bullard. He's never
been particularly friendly.

Speaker 9 (01:22:52):
That's probably because you never got to knowing down underneath,
he's probably a swell follow.

Speaker 26 (01:22:57):
It's not easy to get no rich people. Chief.

Speaker 36 (01:23:00):
Oh, he's afraid you're gonna get something out of him,
like a pool table.

Speaker 26 (01:23:07):
Well, i'll see what I can do. For Heaven's sake,
let's get our minds off money and play a little poker.

Speaker 22 (01:23:12):
Why don't you go see him tomorrow night, Gilly, and
then come down here report us?

Speaker 36 (01:23:16):
All right, all right, okay, everybody, Andy and Nickel deuces
one eyed Jack's a wild and no cheek until you're
down to your last dollar.

Speaker 26 (01:23:34):
Holley Bullert, remember me guilously.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
Yes, yes, come in, won't you?

Speaker 26 (01:23:38):
Well?

Speaker 8 (01:23:38):
Thank you.

Speaker 26 (01:23:39):
I can't stay.

Speaker 36 (01:23:40):
I have to get downtown. But I well, I thought
I might just pay a neighborly call.

Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
I'm glad you did. Mike's gone to New York for
a few days, so I'm all alone here with Craig
that is.

Speaker 26 (01:23:50):
Oh, yes, Craig, remarkably attractive little boy.

Speaker 2 (01:23:53):
Craig. Yes, he's going to bed. I'm glad to say,
why don't we just come into the library guiltless sleep?
As long as there's only two.

Speaker 26 (01:24:01):
Of us library. Fine.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
I've never seen it just down the hall here.

Speaker 26 (01:24:12):
Well, well books, Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:24:21):
Yes, I've accumulated a few volumes. Sit down, have a.

Speaker 36 (01:24:24):
Cigar, thanks, but here try one of mine three for
a half.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
No, no, no, I insist. I have these made up
for me in evandah. If you like a mile cigar,
I see.

Speaker 20 (01:24:37):
Like.

Speaker 26 (01:24:41):
By George. That's a real cigar.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
Yeah, yeah, it makes a nice smoke gold tip. Yes, indeed,
well here to look at some of my first editions,
or perhaps more interested in fine printing, bindings and that
sort of thing. Are are you a bibliophile?

Speaker 26 (01:25:05):
Oh you bet I am. I belonged to the Book
of the Month for several years.

Speaker 2 (01:25:10):
Well, I've got a yes, I have a few nice
items here. See here something else, Milton's Paradise Lost hand
set in London by Alfred Royce, printed on vellum with
red and gold initials and bound in full Morocco. I've
read it, of course, but to a lover of fine
printing our here here just look at this page.

Speaker 26 (01:25:32):
Oh, page twenty four, beautiful justice clean.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
They only printed two hundred of these. They sold originally
for seven hundred dollars a copy. Yes, yes, but I
was lucky. I picked it up at an option in
London for five hundred and sixty. I robbed them, didn't I?

Speaker 26 (01:25:57):
Yes, like taking pennies from the kid's bag. Find a
lot of books you got here? All right?

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
I'd forgotten you've never been in this room. I care
to see some of the rest of the house.

Speaker 26 (01:26:08):
Well, I gotta be getting on by the way.

Speaker 2 (01:26:12):
Yes, nothing, but you don't have to go just yet.
Let me let me show you around.

Speaker 26 (01:26:18):
Well for a minute.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
And here is my gun room. Oh yeah, gun room,
another of my hobbies. Really old pieces I keep in
the glass case.

Speaker 7 (01:26:40):
Here.

Speaker 2 (01:26:40):
I see that big fellow there on the end. That's
a Spanish blunderbuss from the eighteenth century, hand carved barrel.
Will it shoot well? I hate to try it now.
The gun on the right is an old flint locker musket.
My pistols and rifles, Robert here say, yeah.

Speaker 26 (01:26:55):
This is a regular arsenal. You're not expecting India.

Speaker 2 (01:26:59):
No, no, no, no, But I dare say I could
give a pretty good account of myself. It's necessary. Oh
this is a derringer early nineteenth century. Devilish looking little thing,
isn't it.

Speaker 26 (01:27:13):
Yes, let's go back to the library.

Speaker 2 (01:27:16):
Now we'll go back to the library later. First I
want to show you the billiard room. You got to
see that.

Speaker 26 (01:27:21):
Don't tell me you've got a billiard table.

Speaker 2 (01:27:36):
Yes, I say, billiards is really a gentleman's game.

Speaker 26 (01:27:40):
Well, I can't seem to get the hang of it ever.
Play any pool? No?

Speaker 2 (01:27:44):
No, I never cared for pool, or do you like it?

Speaker 7 (01:27:46):
No?

Speaker 26 (01:27:47):
Billiards is the game for me.

Speaker 2 (01:27:49):
Well, drop over any evening you care to play.

Speaker 8 (01:27:51):
I might just do that.

Speaker 26 (01:27:52):
Who do you play with generally?

Speaker 2 (01:27:54):
Ooh, no, one in particular. I haven't played a great
deal of billiards since I lived in London, along to
a club in London where I got very fond of it.

Speaker 26 (01:28:03):
Oh is that so speaking of clubs, mister Bullard?

Speaker 2 (01:28:07):
I yes, eh, nothing, Yes, London's a great place for clubs, sir.
Now this was a place in German Street and standing
right there in the same spot for over two hundred years.

Speaker 26 (01:28:20):
Oh, pretty exclusive district round.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
There a lot of fine clubs in this club. They
had no six or eight billion tables, several card rooms
and many'sday afternoon. I've seen five thousand pounds change hands
in that card room.

Speaker 26 (01:28:34):
See that's a fortune.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
Yes, yes, but there's a gentlemen, you could hardly tell
who'd won who'd lost. Of course, one afternoon a fellow
shot himself aftermoon.

Speaker 26 (01:28:43):
Oh, a winner or a loser?

Speaker 2 (01:28:46):
A loser, yes, a brilliant young fellow. He was, but
a wild as the devil, youngest duke, a youngest son
of a duke.

Speaker 26 (01:28:53):
Oh, a duke. Must have been a terrible shock to
his father.

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
Frightful, frightful. The whole club was in mourning for a week.
But club life is a fine thing, fine thing, Oh,
you beat the spirit a good sportsmanshies, sir, the feeling
of loyalty and companionship between real gentlemen. Yes, yes, I'm
miss club life. I don't suppose there are any men's
clubs here in Summerfield? Are they guildlessly? I say, are

(01:29:23):
there any men's clubs here in Summerfield?

Speaker 26 (01:29:25):
Oh no, mister buller, there isn't a single one. Wait
a minute, fellows, wait a minute. I tried to ask him.
I started several times to ask him, and then each

(01:29:46):
time something would come up that I couldn't.

Speaker 22 (01:29:48):
Well have all the chicken hearted fellows to send on
a simple err Who.

Speaker 26 (01:29:52):
You were calling chicken hearted? You old goat that's trouble.

Speaker 22 (01:29:55):
Couldn't you get him around to the subject.

Speaker 26 (01:29:57):
We got to the subject, all right. We talked about
clubs for quite a while. What a sense just say?

Speaker 36 (01:30:01):
Speaking of clubs, mister Bullet, there's a little spot where
I and a few of my friends hang out.

Speaker 26 (01:30:05):
Like to have you drop around sometimes.

Speaker 9 (01:30:06):
It wouldn't have worked, Floyd, And I'm blessed of I
see why why didn't you Askkam commissioner?

Speaker 26 (01:30:11):
Because he's too good for this crummy joint? That's why.

Speaker 22 (01:30:14):
Well, I'll be done.

Speaker 26 (01:30:15):
What makes him think he's such a much? That's what
I want to know. It's not his idea necessarily, Floyd,
it's my opinion.

Speaker 22 (01:30:21):
You mean you think he's too good for us?

Speaker 26 (01:30:22):
If you put it that way, yes, Miss ter Gilder sleep, Oh,
shut up and listen for a minute. Bullet has a
house full of first editions, fine bindings. He has a
dog that costs three hundred dollars. He has a gun
collection must be worth thousands. He's a fellow that's used
to gracious living. He can't hang around a club like this.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
It wouldn't be right.

Speaker 26 (01:30:40):
Is this Bullet too good to associate with? A Judge
of the probate Court. Judge Hook is a pretty high.

Speaker 36 (01:30:45):
Class fellow, thank you, blud Chief of police, one of
the highest jobs in this town, and a useful man
to know, thank you.

Speaker 26 (01:30:52):
And what's the matter with Peevie?

Speaker 36 (01:30:54):
Runs as nice as drug stores you'd want to see.

Speaker 9 (01:30:56):
And Floyd, he's got the only barbershop in the south
end of town.

Speaker 26 (01:31:00):
I know, fellas, you just don't understand. Bullet's been in
high class clubs in London with dukes and gentlemen.

Speaker 22 (01:31:06):
You ask me, guilty, this fella's nothing but a big snob.

Speaker 26 (01:31:08):
He is not. He's a mighty nice man to know.

Speaker 36 (01:31:10):
He ask me our water commission is getting to be
a snob himself?

Speaker 26 (01:31:13):
Oh, don't call me a snob, Floyd, You fellows wouldn't
know how to treat a high class fellow like Bullet anyway.

Speaker 22 (01:31:22):
All right, go treat him that.

Speaker 26 (01:31:24):
Yeah, go ahead, We don't need you around.

Speaker 2 (01:31:26):
Here, fellows. Mister Gilders leaves a jolly board.

Speaker 22 (01:31:29):
I'm not sure he is chief, not if he considers
himself and his friends too good for us.

Speaker 36 (01:31:33):
Go on, go play pool with Bullard, all right, I will.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
Can you imagine that just for a pool table?

Speaker 26 (01:31:42):
It's not a pool table, It's a bigger table. Village
is a gentleman's game.

Speaker 8 (01:32:01):
The great Guilder Sleeve will be back.

Speaker 2 (01:32:02):
In just a moment.

Speaker 42 (01:32:03):
You have a big Thanksgiving dinner at your house, mister.

Speaker 8 (01:32:06):
Lane, Indeed, we do Turkey with all the Trevings.

Speaker 25 (01:32:08):
And when Missus Lang planned her menu, I dropped a
broad hint for some of those wonderful baking Potter biscuits
she serves on special occasions.

Speaker 14 (01:32:16):
Well, we prefer Parker House.

Speaker 34 (01:32:17):
Rolls or muffins.

Speaker 25 (01:32:18):
I sure bet that hot breads of all kinds are
popular on Thanksgiving menus, And of course everyone knows the
delicious spread makes hot biscuits, rolls, and muffins taste extra good.
That's why I always like to suggest that you serve
them with Park Margarine.

Speaker 41 (01:32:33):
Why that's our favorite spread, mister Lane, We always use
Park Margarin.

Speaker 42 (01:32:37):
My husband likes park better than any spread we've ever tried, and.

Speaker 25 (01:32:40):
I can well understand that because Park Margarine's fresh, dairy
like flavor is still unmatched. So this week, when you're
shopping for those good foods to serve during the Thanksgiving season,
be sure to buy par K Margarine, the.

Speaker 8 (01:32:54):
Spread that tastes so good.

Speaker 25 (01:32:56):
That's pa r Kay delicious economical Park Margarine made by
the Craft Foods Company. I'm sure you'll like it because
millions prefer Park Margarine to any other brand. Now let's

(01:33:19):
get back to our story. It's Saturday night, and Saturday
night is the Jolly Boys night.

Speaker 8 (01:33:24):
To howl.

Speaker 14 (01:33:30):
Where fas man.

Speaker 8 (01:33:39):
Ah, but a voice is missing.

Speaker 25 (01:33:41):
For the first time in many weeks, Guildersleeve is not
to be found with his old associates. Gildersleeve this evening
has hurried through dinner, stuffed to pocket with expensive cigars,
and set out to take advantage of Bullet's invitation to
drop in any time. Scarcely twenty four hours have passed, and.

Speaker 2 (01:33:59):
Here he is in.

Speaker 26 (01:34:02):
Oh hello, Craig, is your father in Wresley Roy? LeRoi, Well,
he's at home. I guess tell your father, will you,
Craig that mister Gillis leave. Is here?

Speaker 34 (01:34:12):
Craig, get away from that door.

Speaker 26 (01:34:13):
Come upstairs.

Speaker 8 (01:34:15):
Who's that my nurse?

Speaker 7 (01:34:17):
She stinks?

Speaker 26 (01:34:21):
Pray you'd better answer, hadn't you?

Speaker 14 (01:34:25):
Why should I Weresley Roy? I want him to come over.

Speaker 26 (01:34:28):
Well Leroy can't just now, I'm afraid, Craig run up
and tell your father he has a caller.

Speaker 8 (01:34:32):
Will you, Craig.

Speaker 22 (01:34:33):
Shut that door and come up to bed.

Speaker 26 (01:34:34):
There's a man here, Yeah, tell her it's mister Gillisle,
as mister Gillisleeve from across the street.

Speaker 22 (01:34:40):
Well there's nobody home.

Speaker 26 (01:34:42):
Oh, mister Bullet will be back. Maybe I'll just amuse
myself in the billiard room.

Speaker 22 (01:34:46):
Well there's nobody home.

Speaker 26 (01:34:48):
As you said that. He said I might use his
billiard table anytime, so if you don't mind.

Speaker 14 (01:34:53):
He didn't say anything to me.

Speaker 26 (01:34:57):
I guess he didn't find way to treat him. Man,
invite him to use your figure table, then sick the
nurse on him. Oh well, now what'll I do Saturday night?

(01:35:20):
Only seven point thirty? Can't just go home and go
to bed? Besides it's Saturday night. No, I won't go
down there. But what can I do Saturday night? Here

(01:36:03):
she comes boo surprise. Oh it's you. Well, aren't you
surprised to see me, Leilah?

Speaker 44 (01:36:12):
No, I suppose you'd be around sooner later?

Speaker 26 (01:36:15):
Oh?

Speaker 31 (01:36:15):
Is that all?

Speaker 26 (01:36:18):
We'll get your things on, Leelah. We're going places Saturday night.

Speaker 44 (01:36:21):
I'm sorry, I have a previous engagement which I'm just
about to make But La, it's time you learn throck
mart and I have better things to do than sit
here and wait for you to turn up. And it's
time you learn there's more to caught in a lady
than just twistling ata.

Speaker 26 (01:36:39):
She some Saturday night. Oh what am I gonna do?
What is there to do? Nope? I will not go
down there. I suppose I could stroll down to the

(01:37:02):
drug store, see what's doing there? No, I'm always hanging
around there. I won't go there either. I guess all
that leaves is home. What a town Saturday night at home?

(01:37:29):
Ounky you back?

Speaker 14 (01:37:30):
I thought you were out for the evening?

Speaker 26 (01:37:32):
Yes, well I changed my mind. Mind Are you going somewhere?

Speaker 34 (01:37:36):
Might be over to Francis.

Speaker 42 (01:37:37):
She has some of the gang coming in.

Speaker 26 (01:37:39):
Oh well, have a good time.

Speaker 7 (01:37:41):
Thanks.

Speaker 26 (01:37:42):
Oh yeah, you wouldn't care to stay home and play
a quiet game of dominoes or something with your old uncle.
I suppose I'd love to.

Speaker 44 (01:37:49):
I just love to, but I promised Franci and the gang,
and I wouldn't want to disappoint them.

Speaker 26 (01:37:54):
Ask me another time with you? Yes, yes, well along,
have a good times. Oh where's your brother? What's he doing?

Speaker 42 (01:38:02):
Lee, Roy, Oh, he's going to the movies.

Speaker 18 (01:38:03):
If he hasn't already gone.

Speaker 14 (01:38:05):
For here he comes down.

Speaker 26 (01:38:06):
Yes, welly Roy, you're dressed up for once. Yeah, my boy,
how would you like it if your old uncle went
to the movies with you?

Speaker 45 (01:38:17):
Well?

Speaker 34 (01:38:17):
I wasn't going to the movies exactly.

Speaker 33 (01:38:19):
Bertie was gonna take me to hear Famous Jones and
his orchestra and the Majestic.

Speaker 26 (01:38:23):
Hey, Berty is ten after daddy. Now wait a minute,
my boy, I thought you and I might just stay
home together tonight and have a good game of dominoes.

Speaker 8 (01:38:32):
You kiddn't.

Speaker 36 (01:38:34):
Come on?

Speaker 42 (01:38:35):
My friend left black exact way.

Speaker 26 (01:38:38):
Then, if we stayed home tonight, by next Saturday, I'd
take you to that football game you've been wanting so
much to go to. How would that be?

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
Whoa damn it?

Speaker 26 (01:38:46):
Of course it's up to you, my boy. You get
your choice. The movies with Bertie this evening or the
football game with me next Saturday makes no difference to
me one way or the other.

Speaker 14 (01:38:56):
Well, if it makes no difference to you, I think
I'll go with Bertie.

Speaker 26 (01:38:59):
All right, Go on there, go on, all of you
leave me alone here all by myself, I'm nobody. I
just pay the bills around here, that's all.

Speaker 2 (01:39:21):
Hello, I'm jealously.

Speaker 26 (01:39:31):
Hello, Phoebe.

Speaker 2 (01:39:32):
Yeah, just about giving you up for your team.

Speaker 26 (01:39:36):
I'm just about giving myself up. You mean, Phoebe, Have
you ever tried spending an evening alone? Worst darn thing
in the world. Yeah, I mean, well, that's terrible. That's
why I came down here to have somebody to talk to.

Speaker 22 (01:39:54):
Where As a matter of fact, I was planning to
close up here a little urmy so that I could
stop buying the Jolly Boys plotlin. Oh well, in that case,
how does it happen you're not over there? The chief
name mister jar always seemed pretty faithful.

Speaker 26 (01:40:07):
I couldn't make it. Cared to not by there with me,
I think i'd better not.

Speaker 7 (01:40:13):
Thanks.

Speaker 22 (01:40:14):
I shot your shop.

Speaker 16 (01:40:15):
But you said you wanted somebody to talk to.

Speaker 26 (01:40:17):
Well, the truth of it is, peep, I've had a
little falling out over there with some of the less desirable.

Speaker 36 (01:40:22):
Elements talking about flying well him and some others chief
gay him too.

Speaker 2 (01:40:29):
Okay u and names young me.

Speaker 9 (01:40:40):
Well, these mental differences of opinion are bound to occur.
I'd say, even Jolly boy, it.

Speaker 26 (01:40:45):
Was more than a difference of opinion, Peep, Floyd called
me a big fat snob. There's no difference of opinion
about that, well, is there?

Speaker 16 (01:40:57):
What did you call Floyd, mister gill and call him
a thing?

Speaker 26 (01:41:00):
Not a thing?

Speaker 9 (01:41:02):
You gave him no provacation, none, whatever. He just walked
in and said, hello, mister Gildish, leave you a big
fat snarb.

Speaker 26 (01:41:11):
Well, I may have made some trifling reference to his social.

Speaker 9 (01:41:14):
Standing's say now, and I've let bygones be bygones. I'm
sure if you come over there with me now and
everybody apologize.

Speaker 26 (01:41:22):
That's one thing I'll never do. Apologize.

Speaker 9 (01:41:24):
I don't just come over there with me.

Speaker 26 (01:41:26):
Let him come over here.

Speaker 9 (01:41:28):
I'm closing up here. Well, you just come along and
leave everything to me, mister Gili, and i'll see if
I can't straighten.

Speaker 2 (01:41:34):
It all out.

Speaker 26 (01:41:34):
Well, all right, peebe, but remember I won't apologize.

Speaker 2 (01:41:50):
You coming up.

Speaker 26 (01:41:51):
I'll wait down here before you go up and see
how the land lies. Peep, that's a good fellow. I'll
wait down here. Call me if it's all right.

Speaker 2 (01:42:01):
Well, the worldcome strangers, and.

Speaker 26 (01:42:08):
I suppose they're hashing me over up there now. I
don't know that I like this where they take us
to darn long about. Can't keep me waiting down here
like a lackey. I wonder what a lackey is got
a good mind to walk out and leave him flat?

(01:42:30):
After all, I didn't want to come over here in
the first place. This has been about long enough by
George Gosh. You don't think they'd blackballed me. Commissioner, you
down there, pal, I hear you calling me, Come ahead,
the coastest player. You called me when the moon had

(01:42:52):
failed her light before I went from you into the night.
I came, aim, do you remit hi? Fellas he means
rap Martin Floyd, Hi.

Speaker 2 (01:43:07):
Hi, come in, Come in, Commissioner, join the happy throng.

Speaker 26 (01:43:10):
Thank you, Chief.

Speaker 9 (01:43:12):
Now we've been talking it over here, Commissioner, the pros
and the cons. Floyd has got something he wants to
say to you. Go ahead, Floyd say it.

Speaker 36 (01:43:21):
Yes, Floyd, say it well, Commissioner. I'm sorry if I
got a little out of line here the other night.
The fact is I didn't say what Peebe says I said,
And I told him what you told me.

Speaker 26 (01:43:35):
You said Floyd that I was a big fat snob.
I never said you were fat. Everybody knows that.

Speaker 2 (01:43:46):
Cloyd.

Speaker 26 (01:43:46):
I didn't come down here, gentlemen to be REINSULLI it, Floyd,
Now apologize nice like you said you would.

Speaker 36 (01:43:52):
Go ahead, Floyd, I'm sorry, Commissioner. I don't know what
come over me. I could bite my tongue off. Well,
ain't that good enough?

Speaker 2 (01:44:03):
I think that's very handsome, Floyd, Commissioner.

Speaker 26 (01:44:06):
Well maybe it was.

Speaker 36 (01:44:08):
My fault a little too, Floyd, now that I come
to think of it, old swindle.

Speaker 26 (01:44:12):
Oh that's just my gully.

Speaker 2 (01:44:18):
It does my heart good to hear you talk like that.
What's say? We shake hands all around?

Speaker 26 (01:44:22):
I'm game shake.

Speaker 9 (01:44:24):
There is a turn in the town.

Speaker 7 (01:44:27):
In the town.

Speaker 43 (01:44:29):
My treola sets him down, sets him down and raised
this why well, and.

Speaker 26 (01:44:41):
Never thinks of me?

Speaker 2 (01:44:43):
Oh things me.

Speaker 25 (01:45:00):
We'll hear from the great kilder Slave again in just
a few moments. During the Thanksgiving and holiday season, there's
usually a little strain on the family food budget. So
on your shopping trips now, I imagine most of you
lavities have an eye out for the best values in food,
and when it comes to spreads for bread, one of
the best values I know of is Delicious Park. Margarine

(01:45:22):
Park is only about half the price of costly spreads,
and it provides you a family with such rich, wholesome nourishment.
Park is one of the best energy foods you can serve,
and it's fortified with important vitamin A and as for flavor,
Park is preferred by millions because it tastes so good
on bread, toast, rolls and waffles. So if you want

(01:45:42):
to make a real saving on equality food, buy this
nourishing spread that tastes so good. Pa r Kay Park
Margarine made by Craft.

Speaker 26 (01:45:53):
He said I'd be back and he was right. Good night, everybody.

Speaker 8 (01:46:02):
The Great Kilder Slave is played by Harold Parry.

Speaker 36 (01:46:04):
It is written by John Wheaton and Sambourg.

Speaker 8 (01:46:07):
The music is by Jack Lecon.

Speaker 25 (01:46:09):
This is John Lang speaking for the Craft Foods Company
and inviting you to listen and again next week for
the further adventures of the Great Kilder Slave.

Speaker 7 (01:46:26):
Ladies.

Speaker 46 (01:46:26):
Here's how to be ready at the drop of a
hat with sandwiches, snacks and appetizers. Keep a package of
delicious Pabstat cheese food and your refrigerator. Pabsteat is ready
in a jiffy, can be served one hundred different ways.
It's spreads, melts, slices toasts to perfection any way you
serve it. Anytime you serve it, your family and guests

(01:46:48):
are sure to like Pabstat's mellow Cheddar cheese flavor. Pabstead
comes in two popular varieties, golden cheddar and pimento. So
head up your shopping list with legious Pabstaff cheese food.

Speaker 8 (01:47:12):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.

Speaker 22 (01:47:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:47:16):
Always get in a situation where you try to make
your old friends accept your new friends and your new
friends or jerks. So it's pain, but some people just
insist on it, and Guildy always does. Going back eighty
years November eighteenth, nineteen forty five, The Great Guilders Sleep
here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyattox. It's so sad.

(01:47:39):
The Guilder Sleep thought he had he had the folks
at Craft under a barrel. Turned out that they had
him under the barrel. He signed with CBS, and Craft
said that's nice. You go to CBS. We have somebody
else here to be Gilder Sleep, and they brought trotted
out Willard Waterman. Alrighty uh. Visit our web page Classic

(01:48:03):
Radio Dot Stream to support the podcast. You can find
more about Professor Beest digestive. There you can find a
number of things for purchased, so you can just buy
us a copy. Whatever you do to support us, it's
greatly appreciated. And please tell your friends that were here,
won't you please Up next Lucio Ball Richard Denning in
My Favorite Husband.

Speaker 20 (01:48:29):
Here's movie star Jing Krayon with an important message for
the girls about federal income taxes.

Speaker 31 (01:48:37):
They say women aren't as systematic or as thorough as men.

Speaker 7 (01:48:40):
Don't believe it.

Speaker 31 (01:48:41):
Girls, we can do just as good a job as
they do, often better in preparing our federal income tax returns.
The main thing is to read your new line byline
instruction booklet along with the form, put down all effects
and figures that apply, and you'll have the answers in
no time. And if you do run into a tax problem,
your Internal Revenue Service office will help you quickly thoroughly

(01:49:03):
if you call him up or go see them. But girls,
let's not put it off, and let's give everything on
the form a double check before we mail it in.

Speaker 20 (01:49:14):
of the Motion Picture Industry of the United States.

Speaker 5 (01:49:21):
Alrighty, here's an episode of My Favorite Husband, starring Lucille
Ball and Richard Denning, produced and directed by many of
the same people who ended up doing I Love Lucy.
That's why the shows and the presentation and all that
sounds very similar to I Love Lucy. This is from
seventy five years ago, November eighteenth, nineteen fifty and things

(01:49:44):
just don't add up quite right for Liz.

Speaker 38 (01:49:47):
It's time for My Favorite Husband starrying Lucille Ball. Yes,
it's the gay family series starring the Selle Ball with
Richard Denning as Liz and George Cooper, two.

Speaker 16 (01:50:07):
People who live together and like it.

Speaker 47 (01:50:18):
As we look in on the Coopers, it's afternoon at
the Sheridan Falls National Bank and George Cooper has just
received an urgent summons to the office of the president.

Speaker 7 (01:50:28):
Of the bank. Did you want to see me, mister Addbury, Yes,
I did come in George.

Speaker 48 (01:50:34):
Boy.

Speaker 7 (01:50:38):
Is something wrong, sir, George, As you know we hear
at the bank encourage yay, insist that the families of
our employees do their banking with us. Yes, sir, I know,
I just finished looking over Lizz's monthly statement. Yes, boy,
as a favor to me and to the bank, would

(01:51:00):
you ask Liz to take her business elsewhere. What happened
this month? Was she worse than usual?

Speaker 11 (01:51:09):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:51:10):
That girl?

Speaker 14 (01:51:11):
Boy?

Speaker 7 (01:51:13):
Thanks to her, three tellers were here all night.

Speaker 29 (01:51:18):
Oh gee, I'm sorry. Well i'll have to apologize to them.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
It's too late.

Speaker 7 (01:51:24):
Two of them quit this morning, and the other one
sitting numbly at his desk and doesn't seem to recognize
any other. Well, just exactly what did she do?

Speaker 11 (01:51:37):
Well?

Speaker 7 (01:51:37):
It's hard to know where to start. Look at this check.
If I can believe what I read, it's dated the
nineteenth of Octopus, and it's payable to the Shimmian Fills
Gas corn fad that's the Sheridan Fall Gas Company.

Speaker 2 (01:52:02):
Oh well, you.

Speaker 7 (01:52:05):
Had more practice interpreting her writing than I have. Look
at that signature missus Garage Cowpen.

Speaker 29 (01:52:15):
I'm sorry, mister Addburry. Maybe I can get her to
write better.

Speaker 7 (01:52:19):
Well try boy. By the way, I think she's overdrawn again,
don't you know?

Speaker 20 (01:52:26):
No?

Speaker 7 (01:52:26):
But look at the note she wrote on this check.
Dear mister teller. If I don't have enough money to
cover this, please be a lamb and hold this check
till next month. Oh no, ps, thanks oodles, and I've
put in a good word for you with John. This

(01:52:48):
is the worst yet. She's gone too far even for Liz.
I'll speak to her tonight. And when you do speak sharply. Boy,
understand it isn't just me. I can't stand this terrific
turnover in tellers. Liz, where are.

Speaker 26 (01:53:14):
You, George?

Speaker 11 (01:53:16):
How's my little hubsban?

Speaker 7 (01:53:19):
Sit down? Your little hubsband wants to talk to you.

Speaker 33 (01:53:23):
Well, apparently you got up on the wrong side of
the vault.

Speaker 29 (01:53:29):
Never mind being smart, Liz, what you've done is is unforgivable.

Speaker 35 (01:53:34):
Why that dirty fibb of a garage mechanic? He promised
you wouldn't tell you I had that fender fixed?

Speaker 7 (01:53:43):
What fender?

Speaker 33 (01:53:46):
Oh, me and my big mouth.

Speaker 29 (01:53:49):
We'll settle a fender later, But right now I want
to talk to you about your bank account.

Speaker 7 (01:53:55):
It's in a terrific shape.

Speaker 2 (01:53:57):
Now.

Speaker 7 (01:53:57):
What have you got to say about it? That's what
you always say? Now, how we'll figure this out and
dry your eyes?

Speaker 33 (01:54:13):
Oh I didn't get to the tears yet.

Speaker 29 (01:54:22):
Oh fine, Well, get your check book and let's.

Speaker 7 (01:54:26):
Look at it.

Speaker 33 (01:54:26):
All right, it's here in the desk here.

Speaker 29 (01:54:30):
No, Liz, I deposit so much money to your account
each month to run the house. Yes, sir, if you
keep track every time you write a check, you should
know how much money you have left.

Speaker 7 (01:54:43):
In the bank at the end of the month.

Speaker 33 (01:54:45):
You'd think so, wouldn't you.

Speaker 7 (01:54:49):
Well, let's take a look at it. Now. Do you
have any idea where you made your first mistake?

Speaker 33 (01:54:56):
Yes, when I married a banker.

Speaker 7 (01:55:00):
No, and I'd get an answer like that. Now here.

Speaker 29 (01:55:03):
You made a mistake right here, on the first step.
You wrote a check for two dollars for an elderly gazelle.

Speaker 33 (01:55:12):
Let me see this, that evening gazelle a gazette.

Speaker 29 (01:55:20):
Oh well, anyway, you made a deposit the same day
and added it.

Speaker 7 (01:55:26):
Up wrong, I did. Yes, nine and nine do not
make seventeen since when they ain't?

Speaker 25 (01:55:37):
Never have?

Speaker 29 (01:55:39):
Oh, look, Liz, just out of curiosity, how do you
add nine and nine to make seventeen?

Speaker 33 (01:55:45):
Well, George, I used a simple shortcut.

Speaker 35 (01:55:47):
You see, nines they are pretty big numbers, so I
always break them up into little chunks of threes.

Speaker 33 (01:55:53):
Three is such a nice number.

Speaker 7 (01:55:55):
I've always liked three.

Speaker 33 (01:55:57):
Well, now I take two of the threes of each
the nines I can handle threes.

Speaker 35 (01:56:02):
Then I add each set of two threes which comes
out six times two, which is twelve. Now I have
twelve with two threes I haven't even used yet. And frankly, George,
there's nothing as confusing as two single threes.

Speaker 7 (01:56:21):
Oh nothing.

Speaker 33 (01:56:22):
I take each single three and break it into a
two and a one. Then I take two twos and
scrunch them together into a four, the four on top
of the twelve, and that's sixteen.

Speaker 35 (01:56:34):
Now I've got two ones left and one times one
is one pilot on.

Speaker 4 (01:56:39):
Top of the sixteen.

Speaker 15 (01:56:40):
And what do you have?

Speaker 33 (01:56:41):
Seventeen?

Speaker 7 (01:56:54):
A simple shortcut.

Speaker 33 (01:56:57):
It's just a little system I made up one day
when I was doing anything.

Speaker 29 (01:57:01):
I agree, Liz, your math is positively atrocious out now,
what can we do about it?

Speaker 17 (01:57:08):
Give me a kiss?

Speaker 7 (01:57:10):
No, this is serious.

Speaker 29 (01:57:11):
Ready, if you come up next month overdrawn again, mister addburry,
dinner's ready.

Speaker 33 (01:57:17):
Let's go eat just a minute.

Speaker 7 (01:57:19):
If it's only five thirty, I won't be hungry for
an hour.

Speaker 35 (01:57:22):
Well, I know, but Katie has to fix dinner early
tonight so she can get to night school on time.
Night school, Yes, you know, night school. It's like Day's school,
only darker.

Speaker 29 (01:57:34):
I am familiar with the institution. It's one of mister
Addburry's pet projects. But my stomach is used to eating
at six thirty.

Speaker 33 (01:57:43):
Well, I promise Katie she could go to your stomach
and just take.

Speaker 28 (01:57:46):
Dinner and lump it.

Speaker 7 (01:57:50):
That's what I'm afraid of.

Speaker 33 (01:57:52):
Then you're down the table, missus Cooper. We're coming, Katie.

Speaker 14 (01:57:56):
I hope you don't mind eating early on accon of me.

Speaker 33 (01:57:58):
Mister Cooper.

Speaker 7 (01:58:00):
Oh, I guess not, Katie. Yeah. What class are you
going to tonight?

Speaker 14 (01:58:04):
A beginning? So when I had trouble decide in which
course to take, and.

Speaker 32 (01:58:09):
They teach everything in night school, you know, wait a minute,
do they buy any chance teach arithmetic?

Speaker 38 (01:58:17):
Oh?

Speaker 33 (01:58:17):
Sure, okay, Katie, serve the dinner. Sit down, George. Well
what happened to the bank today?

Speaker 16 (01:58:24):
George?

Speaker 33 (01:58:26):
What are you looking at me like that?

Speaker 7 (01:58:27):
For Liz, you're going to Night's school with Katie?

Speaker 33 (01:58:32):
Oh, George, I took mathematics in school once.

Speaker 29 (01:58:36):
Well, Honey, you may have been exposed to it, but
it didn't take.

Speaker 14 (01:58:44):
Maybe I'm immune.

Speaker 33 (01:58:46):
Maybe when I was a baby I was vaccinated against it.
I'll bet that's what that funny little scar.

Speaker 7 (01:58:51):
Is on my arm.

Speaker 29 (01:58:53):
Liz, you're going it'll be good for you and mister
Ratdburry will be delighted. After all, you owe him something
for all the trouble you caused him at the bank.

Speaker 33 (01:59:01):
Wouldn't it be easier just to give him a quart
of blood?

Speaker 35 (01:59:07):
All right, George, I'll go, I'll go, Katie. It looks
like you had yourself a little school chum.

Speaker 33 (01:59:14):
The last one of the teeter totter is a dirty
rotten egg.

Speaker 7 (01:59:28):
Well, Lis, what'll we do tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:59:30):
What do you mean?

Speaker 33 (01:59:31):
Do we have to do our homework? What I started
school last night? Remember? We have to spend this evening
on our arithmetic problems.

Speaker 7 (01:59:40):
Our arithmetic problems.

Speaker 35 (01:59:43):
Well, George, you got me into this. I thought we'd
do them together. Oh, I'll read you the problems and
you give me the answers.

Speaker 7 (01:59:54):
I have a better way of doing them together. I'll
read you the problems and you give me the answer.

Speaker 33 (02:00:00):
Well, if you want to do it the hard way, here,
we're supposed to do problems one to ten.

Speaker 7 (02:00:07):
Okay, are you ready ready? First problem?

Speaker 29 (02:00:11):
Mary has eight apples and Susan has five apples. Susan
gives her five to marry. How many apples does Mary have?

Speaker 7 (02:00:23):
Well?

Speaker 33 (02:00:24):
Why should Susan give her apples to marry.

Speaker 7 (02:00:28):
That's not the problem.

Speaker 33 (02:00:29):
Well, it isn't fair. Mary already had more apples than Susan.

Speaker 7 (02:00:34):
What's the answer thirteen?

Speaker 33 (02:00:36):
Right, I'd like to know what Mary has one Susan.

Speaker 7 (02:00:46):
Next problem?

Speaker 29 (02:00:48):
If Mary has twelve candies and Susan gives her four candies.

Speaker 11 (02:00:53):
There she goes again, Liz, you.

Speaker 33 (02:00:57):
Ask me, Susan's being blackmailed.

Speaker 14 (02:01:00):
Never mind, eh.

Speaker 7 (02:01:07):
Problem three?

Speaker 29 (02:01:09):
Mary has twenty one oranges and Susan takes away nine.

Speaker 11 (02:01:14):
The worm turns.

Speaker 29 (02:01:18):
All right, I'll skip past Mary and Susan's. These problems
are too easy for you. No they're not, Yes they are.

Speaker 7 (02:01:28):
Oh geez, this book brings back memories. I used to
get a big kick out of working problems like these.

Speaker 29 (02:01:34):
Oh, here's one about a man in business, mister Riderbury,
God boy, come on.

Speaker 7 (02:01:53):
In, thanks. Where's Liz. She's at night School?

Speaker 8 (02:01:56):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (02:01:57):
Oh that's right.

Speaker 11 (02:01:57):
I keep forgetting.

Speaker 7 (02:01:58):
It seems so incredible that Liz could be learning anything. Well,
she's taking it very seriously.

Speaker 8 (02:02:07):
I'm proud of it.

Speaker 2 (02:02:08):
I really am too.

Speaker 7 (02:02:09):
Boy. You know how I feel about night School. I'm
judging their contest tomorrow night. You know what contest? Oh,
didn't I tell you. It's a contest between the best
math student of the Sheridan Falls Night School and the
best one from the West Newton Night School. I'm supposed
to call the high school and find out who the
contestant from Sheridan Falls is. Go ahead, Oh, thank you.

(02:02:35):
I hope they pick a good one.

Speaker 2 (02:02:38):
Hello.

Speaker 7 (02:02:39):
Give me the principal's office please. I'm especially interested in
this contestant because my good friend Ed Troup is head
of the West Newton Board of Education, and I'll never
hear the end of it if I lose you. Excuse me. Hello,
this is Rudolph Addabury speaking. Have you the name of
our math champion?

Speaker 8 (02:02:57):
Good?

Speaker 7 (02:02:57):
Good? Take this down, George Liz Cooper?

Speaker 11 (02:03:03):
L ies.

Speaker 7 (02:03:06):
Liz Cooper. Oh no, it couldn't be Liz Cooper. I
can only hope we have a bad connection.

Speaker 14 (02:03:19):
Hello.

Speaker 7 (02:03:21):
Would you repeat the name please? Slowly? Oh?

Speaker 13 (02:03:28):
Dad, spell it out? L I Z Liz See okay, Cooper,
Thank you? Goodbye?

Speaker 7 (02:03:45):
Oh there she is all right, dear.

Speaker 35 (02:03:48):
Hi, Misterradabury, Liz, and we want to ask you something.

Speaker 7 (02:03:53):
Yes, yes, did anything unusual happen in school tonight? Said he,
clinging to a vain hope that someone had set fire
to the teacher.

Speaker 35 (02:04:06):
No, we were assigned our lockers. I was chosen to
represent the night school in a math contest tomorrow. We
got some new erasers. Nothing unusual.

Speaker 4 (02:04:14):
What's new with you?

Speaker 7 (02:04:16):
Nothing? How in the world did they happen to select you?
How could a thing like that possibly happened?

Speaker 33 (02:04:24):
Don't bug your eyes at me, George Cooper. I'm only
in this contest thanks to you, thanks to who, thanks
to George.

Speaker 11 (02:04:32):
Thanks to me, thanks to him.

Speaker 33 (02:04:35):
Well, that covers the ground pretty thoroughly.

Speaker 46 (02:04:40):
My fault.

Speaker 7 (02:04:42):
What do you mean by that?

Speaker 33 (02:04:43):
Why didn't you tell me you worked all the problems
in my book? I handed it in and they thought
I was a mathematical genius.

Speaker 7 (02:04:50):
George, you idiot. I don't see why.

Speaker 38 (02:04:53):
You're so mad.

Speaker 33 (02:04:54):
Mister Addenberry, Oh you don't.

Speaker 7 (02:04:57):
I'm judging the contest. Oh, it's going to be just
peachy to have my vice president's wife up there. Not
being able to add two and two four.

Speaker 33 (02:05:15):
I can higher than that, three and three or six
and four.

Speaker 13 (02:05:18):
And.

Speaker 26 (02:05:23):
Well I was only dry.

Speaker 29 (02:05:25):
Wait everybody, let's not lose our heads. There must be
some way out of this. We'll tell them. Liz can't
do it, and they can select someone else.

Speaker 7 (02:05:35):
A fine, fine idea. Now, let's see, Liz couldn't be
there if something happened to her, like a broken leg.

Speaker 33 (02:05:48):
Don't you look at me like that, mister Addaberry.

Speaker 7 (02:05:51):
Come back here, Liz.

Speaker 14 (02:05:53):
If you touch me, I'll tell everybody. You won't get
away with it. You'll pry for this, Livy.

Speaker 7 (02:06:02):
No one's touching you. Well, then there's only one thing
to do.

Speaker 2 (02:06:12):
George.

Speaker 7 (02:06:13):
What, yeah, what We're going to teach you arithmetic?

Speaker 14 (02:06:18):
Oh no, break my leg? Go on here, all laid
across at your.

Speaker 23 (02:06:23):
George.

Speaker 7 (02:06:23):
George, you get some pencils and paper. Liz, you put
the coffee on. We're going to get some math into
your head. If it tastes all night now, Liz, the

(02:06:48):
contest will start any minute, are you all say? Lis? Liz, Liz,
snap out of it? Are you still sleeping?

Speaker 33 (02:06:56):
Where to go?

Speaker 2 (02:07:04):
Courage girl?

Speaker 7 (02:07:06):
Will be ready to stalk mister Adabaa. We'll be right there.
I'll be down in the front row pulling for you. Liz.

Speaker 33 (02:07:12):
Good luck, Thanks dear.

Speaker 7 (02:07:13):
All right, come out on the stage, ladies and gentlemen.
Before we start our little contest, I'd like to introduce
some of the people up here on the stage. First,
the head of the Board of Education of West Newton,
my good friend Ed Trout, Thank you, Rudo. And now
our contestants from West Newton, mister Richard Hill, thank you.

(02:07:39):
And the contestant from Sheridan Falls, missus George Cooper, paz sixty.

Speaker 33 (02:07:47):
Five loan has four oh oh.

Speaker 7 (02:07:53):
Now, if the contestants are ready, we'll start the contest.
We'll start with some geometry. The first problem goes to
mister Hill, give me the theory of Pythagoras. If the
square of the apothemus of a right triangle is equivalent
to the sum of the squares of the other two sides,
it's right. Well, that was a pretty tough one. Now

(02:08:25):
let's get an equally tough geometry problem for missus Cooper.
Missus Cooper, if you had three geometry problems, and I
gave you two more geometry problems, how many would you have?

Speaker 19 (02:08:38):
Well?

Speaker 7 (02:08:39):
Right, Well, apparently when it comes to geometry, our two
contestants are evenly matched. If you ask the minute, there's

(02:09:01):
no quaching from the audience. Now, now for's some algebraic
mister Hill, A poll twenty feet long is divided into
two sections. Letting X equal the short section and four
x the long section. What is X and what are
the lengths of the two sections?

Speaker 28 (02:09:22):
X is four?

Speaker 7 (02:09:23):
One section is four feet and the other is sixteen feet? Correct? Now,
missus Cooper, for your algebra problem, H equals I. If
H is four?

Speaker 8 (02:09:38):
What is I?

Speaker 7 (02:09:45):
This is Cooper?

Speaker 12 (02:09:48):
What is I?

Speaker 33 (02:09:50):
You is keeping me awake?

Speaker 4 (02:09:52):
That's what you will.

Speaker 7 (02:10:02):
This is no time to go to sleep.

Speaker 28 (02:10:04):
Will you get me up all night? Coaching me?

Speaker 7 (02:10:08):
Just a minute, Rudolph, Missus Cooper, did you know mister
Raddaburry before this contest?

Speaker 33 (02:10:14):
Sure is my husband's boss.

Speaker 7 (02:10:16):
Ahhu trying to pull a fast what hey, Rudoll, you
don't understand. I understand enough. I think we'd better have
an impartial judge giving the question. Well who all right?

Speaker 2 (02:10:29):
But who will it be?

Speaker 1 (02:10:30):
Me?

Speaker 7 (02:10:31):
Oh God, I'll see that missus Cooper doesn't get all
the easy one. Oh dear, there's a seat here by me, mister.

Speaker 23 (02:10:41):
Radaburry, very well, I'll be right there, right there.

Speaker 7 (02:10:44):
And now we'll continue with the contest. George boy, we'd
better think of something or she's cocked. Maybe we can
throw her a cue. Here's your next question, mister Hill,
how many sizes does a pentagon have? It's time? Correct?
How missus Cooper? How many sides does an octagon have?

Speaker 12 (02:11:04):
Of?

Speaker 28 (02:11:04):
What a gun?

Speaker 7 (02:11:07):
An octagon? I'm glad we ate before we came, aren't you?

Speaker 37 (02:11:12):
John?

Speaker 7 (02:11:13):
Huh?

Speaker 29 (02:11:14):
Oh, yes, yes, that's the kind of food that you appreciate.

Speaker 20 (02:11:19):
Ate.

Speaker 33 (02:11:21):
Please, fellas, don't talk so loud. How can I think
of the number?

Speaker 8 (02:11:28):
Liz, what do you think?

Speaker 25 (02:11:29):
We were talking so.

Speaker 28 (02:11:30):
Loud for four? I get it?

Speaker 33 (02:11:34):
An octagon has four sides?

Speaker 40 (02:11:36):
Thank George?

Speaker 8 (02:11:37):
Wrong?

Speaker 7 (02:11:38):
What missus Cooper? You now have one wrong? And mister
Hill is ahead, and we will please have no coaching
from the audience.

Speaker 28 (02:11:47):
Yeah, they don't know the answers.

Speaker 7 (02:11:53):
Mister Hill, give me the answer to this problem. What
is the square root of two hundred and twenty five
plus ten minus one plus the square root of thirty
six plus two.

Speaker 11 (02:12:05):
Thirty three?

Speaker 20 (02:12:07):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:12:07):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 (02:12:09):
I'll give the same question to missus Cooper and missus Cooper,
and what is the square root of two hundred and
twenty five plus ten minus one plus the square root
of thirty six plus two?

Speaker 11 (02:12:24):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (02:12:24):
Sure, the answer is there, beverage Man said the verse
thirty two. Maybe that's Liza's age.

Speaker 8 (02:12:33):
Good?

Speaker 7 (02:12:33):
Good, act your age, Liz.

Speaker 33 (02:12:38):
Huh oh twenty two?

Speaker 7 (02:12:45):
Oh, I forgot she's a woman. Act your age in
ten years.

Speaker 34 (02:12:53):
Twenty six?

Speaker 2 (02:12:56):
Know you idiot? Thirty two?

Speaker 7 (02:13:00):
Now, mister Hill is missed one, Missus Cooper is missed one,
and mister Randaberry hasn't missed any.

Speaker 2 (02:13:14):
Arry.

Speaker 23 (02:13:14):
We can't fuck the three of you.

Speaker 7 (02:13:16):
If you'll shut up, I'll give meets the same question
and whoever gets it right win? Okay, what am I saying?
All right? Now, I'll only give the problem once. How
much is two hundred and seventy five plus four hundred
and ninety three times one hundred and thirty five divided
by two?

Speaker 15 (02:13:35):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (02:13:36):
Girl, mister Hill, five one, three, three, nine.

Speaker 7 (02:13:47):
Oh, I'm sorry that's wrong. Hey, missus Cooper. What's your answer,
missus Cooper. I'd like your answers, Missus Cooper.

Speaker 11 (02:14:01):
Put the goffe on, honey, I'll.

Speaker 12 (02:14:02):
Be right down.

Speaker 7 (02:14:05):
I'd like your answer, and no help from the audience, please.
I'd like your own numbers.

Speaker 14 (02:14:11):
Where's your your own number?

Speaker 1 (02:14:14):
Oh?

Speaker 28 (02:14:15):
Five, one, three, four, Oh, that's right.

Speaker 29 (02:14:26):
Lives honey, congratulation you you could do it, girl.

Speaker 8 (02:14:30):
Don't do what you won.

Speaker 7 (02:14:32):
You won the contest, Liz, I owe you an apology.
I gave up all hope when he and his sister
you'd give him your own number.

Speaker 33 (02:14:40):
Own number, I thought, he said, phone number.

Speaker 5 (02:14:53):
An Armed Forces recording My Favorite Husband from seventy five
years ago, November eighteenth, Nineteenthi the Year on Classic Review
Theater with Wyatt Coos. We'll check in with Claudi and
David in just a moment.

Speaker 20 (02:15:12):
Here's Bing Crosby with a message of interest to federal
income taxpayers.

Speaker 48 (02:15:18):
Spring will be here one day soon, we hope, bringing
with the thieves, the budding trees, the chirping birds, new romance,
and the income tax. And speaking of the income tax,
Uncle Sam wants you to be careful. You'd like to
have you avoid the errors that crop up, crop up
by the millions every year.

Speaker 7 (02:15:37):
In fact, be sure to sign them.

Speaker 48 (02:15:40):
No, I can't sign my being and you can't sign yours,
Chuck or Tuts or Max. You've got to be more
formal and clip that W two with holding certificate on
the form in the space where it says it ought
to go. Don't put it where the revenue folks are
going to have to organize a searching party to find
it and check your figures and figure your check before

(02:16:01):
you hand it over to the postman. This was a
public service announcement presented to the cooperation of the Motion
picture Industry of the United States.

Speaker 5 (02:16:11):
Now we go back seventy eight years November eighteenth, nineteen
forty seven. David and Claudia, and they have some special guests.

Speaker 3 (02:16:21):
Your Coca Cola bottler presents Claudia. Claudia based on the
original stories by Rose Franken, brought to you transcribed Monday
through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca Cola.

(02:16:45):
Relax and while you're listening, refresh yourself.

Speaker 2 (02:16:49):
Have a cot.

Speaker 8 (02:16:57):
And now, Claudia, dear lie, still I'll go, No, no,
I'll go.

Speaker 42 (02:17:12):
I just wanted know if you heard the bell too,
or if I was dreaming?

Speaker 34 (02:17:15):
What time is it?

Speaker 12 (02:17:16):
Five after seven? Who can it be this hour of
the morning? Where's my robe?

Speaker 34 (02:17:20):
And the hook in the bathroom?

Speaker 42 (02:17:22):
Don't let the kitten out though, Oh, David, want to
be nice someday to have our own apartment.

Speaker 34 (02:17:26):
See the sunshine when you wake up?

Speaker 12 (02:17:28):
What makes you think we will? Somebody's got to live
in the dark apartments in New York.

Speaker 8 (02:17:32):
We'll be us.

Speaker 34 (02:17:33):
I don't care if I live in a cellar. I'm
gonna have the sun.

Speaker 12 (02:17:35):
You mean the attic. Hey, the kitten sounds asleep on
my bathrobe.

Speaker 34 (02:17:39):
Isn't that smart?

Speaker 42 (02:17:40):
He must have pulled it down off the hook?

Speaker 12 (02:17:42):
Very smart. Hey, look, mister kat if you don't mind,
and no back talk.

Speaker 34 (02:17:46):
David, we have to find a name for it.

Speaker 8 (02:17:48):
That we do.

Speaker 34 (02:17:52):
Say, who can that be?

Speaker 2 (02:17:54):
Oh?

Speaker 23 (02:17:54):
Telegram?

Speaker 34 (02:17:55):
Telegram?

Speaker 12 (02:17:57):
I'll tell you when I find out, we'll open it.

Speaker 34 (02:18:00):
Hurry up, Come on quick, m.

Speaker 12 (02:18:03):
Hartley and Julia from London. Oh, what do you know?
They're flying back. They'll be home this afternoon.

Speaker 42 (02:18:08):
But I thought they expected to be away for another
few weeks. Yes, anyway, I'm glad they changed their minds.

Speaker 34 (02:18:13):
I have wait to meet them.

Speaker 12 (02:18:14):
That's good, Look Darling, Uh, the place is freezing. Run
back to bed. I'll turn on the radiator.

Speaker 34 (02:18:20):
Hey, David, don't turn that one on at least. Oh,
this is an awful way to live, leaking.

Speaker 42 (02:18:26):
Radiators, dark rooms, no privacy, paint peeling off in this
dreadful furniture.

Speaker 12 (02:18:32):
In the light of a cold, bleak November morning, it
doesn't look too pleasant.

Speaker 42 (02:18:36):
I'll admit the home is an awfully important part of
a person's life.

Speaker 15 (02:18:39):
There.

Speaker 42 (02:18:40):
The more I live in this apartment, the more I
realize it have Julian Hartley a nice home.

Speaker 12 (02:18:45):
Oh, very, I think we're all to run over there
this afternoon for a minute.

Speaker 34 (02:18:49):
Oh, let's David. Isn't there anything I could do before
their play plane gets in?

Speaker 42 (02:18:53):
Such as we'll have things in the ice box, eggs, milk, butters.

Speaker 12 (02:18:57):
I don't think so, Darling. The house has been left open,
and I imagine Julia's icebox is pretty well stocked.

Speaker 42 (02:19:03):
Would you think they like to come over here for dinner?

Speaker 34 (02:19:05):
I can manage.

Speaker 12 (02:19:06):
I imagine they'll probably be glad to stay home after
being away so long.

Speaker 42 (02:19:10):
I know I would, Darling, get you really want a
cup of nice hot coffee?

Speaker 34 (02:19:15):
Sort of dividend before breakfast?

Speaker 12 (02:19:16):
Lady, I would give my I teeth for a cup
of nice hot coffee.

Speaker 42 (02:19:20):
Why didn't you say so instead of encouraging me to
run back to bed. Oh I'm bashful when say, David,
look at me as if you'd never seen me before.

Speaker 12 (02:19:31):
All right, I am an utter stranger. I've never seen
you before, you little hussy.

Speaker 2 (02:19:38):
David.

Speaker 34 (02:19:38):
Please be serious. Listen. Would you consider me pretty?

Speaker 7 (02:19:41):
Mm?

Speaker 8 (02:19:42):
Pretty pretty?

Speaker 20 (02:19:44):
What?

Speaker 12 (02:19:44):
Pretty?

Speaker 8 (02:19:44):
Pretty?

Speaker 14 (02:19:45):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:19:45):
Skip that one?

Speaker 14 (02:19:46):
Would you consider me a bright?

Speaker 34 (02:19:48):
No, you're gonna get no coffee? Goodbye?

Speaker 12 (02:19:52):
Hey, come back? You're beautiful, brilliant and bewitching. What else
begins with me?

Speaker 34 (02:19:55):
Dazzling?

Speaker 25 (02:19:56):
Uh?

Speaker 12 (02:19:57):
Be dazzling? Come here might be dazzling, little wife.

Speaker 42 (02:20:00):
David, listen, I really mean it. I've got stage fright
about meeting Julia and Hartley.

Speaker 34 (02:20:04):
After all, they're practically my father and mother in law.

Speaker 12 (02:20:07):
How do you figure that one out?

Speaker 42 (02:20:08):
Well, Hartley's your only brother, and he's fourteen years older
than you are. You told me he's been like a
father to you all your life.

Speaker 12 (02:20:15):
But Julia would not like to be placed in the
category of my mother. Julia does not like children, really not, No,
that's not fair. I don't think she could have any.

Speaker 7 (02:20:27):
Oh poor thing.

Speaker 34 (02:20:29):
She's offully blue bloodish, isn't she. I mean it sort
of sticks out.

Speaker 12 (02:20:32):
You mean does she say bean for Ben? Yes? But
she was born saying it, so one forgives her.

Speaker 42 (02:20:39):
Nice See what you mean? Do you think she's gonna
think you're married a little nobody just.

Speaker 12 (02:20:44):
Because you don't say bean for Ben?

Speaker 20 (02:20:47):
No?

Speaker 12 (02:20:47):
If she does, though, we'll just introduce her to your mother.

Speaker 34 (02:20:51):
That's a sweet thing to say.

Speaker 12 (02:20:53):
Anyway, you didn't mean a little nobody, You meant a
little somebody.

Speaker 42 (02:20:57):
I meant that Julia probably had a dozen DEBI lined
up for you to marry, No, just one.

Speaker 34 (02:21:03):
Well you never told me about it. Is she attracted?

Speaker 12 (02:21:06):
If you like the type. She had a very deep,
husky voice. It's nice and a winter place in Palm Beach,
in a sumburn place in bark.

Speaker 26 (02:21:14):
Huh.

Speaker 12 (02:21:15):
She sounds perfect, but she didn't have very much of
a chin and no sense of humor. Now hurry up,
get that coffee. Well, here we are.

Speaker 34 (02:21:35):
You don't ring the bell yet.

Speaker 42 (02:21:36):
The wind's got my hair almost up.

Speaker 12 (02:21:37):
Your hair is fine.

Speaker 42 (02:21:38):
Hey, wait a minute, my ear show you what my ear.

Speaker 12 (02:21:43):
Is it supposed to?

Speaker 34 (02:21:44):
No, you know I don't wear my hair, So my
ears showed.

Speaker 12 (02:21:46):
The left one peeks out a little.

Speaker 34 (02:21:48):
Oh, that's what I meant. Just a minute.

Speaker 12 (02:21:50):
I don't too late. In Julia's house, the servants are psychic. Oh,
good afternoon, mister Norton. Hello Watson, very nice to see
you again. Say this is missus Norton Watson.

Speaker 45 (02:22:02):
Yes, sir, I thought so sir, I'd like to issue
both all the luck and happiness.

Speaker 7 (02:22:06):
In the world.

Speaker 34 (02:22:06):
Thank you, Watson.

Speaker 45 (02:22:08):
Does mister Norton expect yoursel No, we just dropped there.
I was afraid of that, sir. Mister and missus Norton
are just leaving. But if you'll step in the drawing room,
I'll hurry and tell them you're here.

Speaker 42 (02:22:20):
How can they be leaving if they just came home?

Speaker 12 (02:22:23):
That's Julia.

Speaker 14 (02:22:24):
Oh, David, what a wonderful room.

Speaker 7 (02:22:28):
Isn't it.

Speaker 12 (02:22:29):
That wallpaper is eighteenth century.

Speaker 34 (02:22:31):
Oh, it's like poetry, David.

Speaker 42 (02:22:35):
He never told me they lived in this kind.

Speaker 2 (02:22:36):
Of a house.

Speaker 34 (02:22:37):
It's like a museum.

Speaker 12 (02:22:38):
Did you see the library? Hartley's been collecting folios and
first editions for years.

Speaker 34 (02:22:44):
Does he read them?

Speaker 12 (02:22:45):
I don't think so. They're too expensive. I went to
an auction once with him, and he bought a first
folio of Shakespeare for twenty two thousand dollars, just like that,
without batting an eyelish.

Speaker 42 (02:22:57):
Twenty two thousand dollars for a volume of Chase about
patting an eyelid?

Speaker 12 (02:23:01):
Worthy too partly is not a banker for nothing. It's
a good investment. What Julius says, She prove Julie's got
a good business head on those sleek shoulders.

Speaker 26 (02:23:10):
She shyn't gunning?

Speaker 2 (02:23:12):
Who David?

Speaker 8 (02:23:14):
Hello, hard are you boy? Glad to see?

Speaker 12 (02:23:18):
And Claudia, Claudia, how nice?

Speaker 34 (02:23:21):
How terribly nice? Claudia. Let me look at you, David.

Speaker 49 (02:23:25):
She's a lamb.

Speaker 12 (02:23:26):
I think I'm entitled to a kiss.

Speaker 34 (02:23:27):
Of course, you don't look like David at all.

Speaker 42 (02:23:30):
Yeah, I could tell your brothers under the kid.

Speaker 12 (02:23:33):
That's very gratifying, Thank you, my dear. Look here, I'm
sorry we came in on you like this. You two
look like you were bound for some place.

Speaker 49 (02:23:40):
We'll sit down for a minute anyway.

Speaker 14 (02:23:41):
It's such a nuisance.

Speaker 49 (02:23:42):
We've got to go to a cocktail party for Lord
and Lady Radcliffe. We met them abroad, and tonight Burritz
is giving her concert at Carnggie.

Speaker 15 (02:23:49):
We've got to be there.

Speaker 49 (02:23:50):
She'd never forgive us.

Speaker 12 (02:23:51):
Is that why you shortened your trip and came home
only partially?

Speaker 8 (02:23:56):
Partly?

Speaker 49 (02:23:57):
Wasn't agreeing too well with the London fogs?

Speaker 16 (02:23:59):
Chinus began to kick off.

Speaker 12 (02:24:00):
You know now you look fine, both of you.

Speaker 34 (02:24:02):
Haha. Do you think David looks fine?

Speaker 2 (02:24:05):
Fine?

Speaker 15 (02:24:05):
Looks like you've been taking very good care of him.

Speaker 49 (02:24:07):
Tell us about your apartment, Claudia, David wrote us that
you've found a furnished place.

Speaker 34 (02:24:11):
Oh it's the worst little hole in the wall, really,
but it's a.

Speaker 49 (02:24:15):
Very nice building, as I remember.

Speaker 8 (02:24:17):
The neighborhood is excellent, I.

Speaker 12 (02:24:18):
Know, but this particular apartment happens to be on the
second floor rear, dark as pitch.

Speaker 34 (02:24:23):
And the most dreadful furnishing.

Speaker 12 (02:24:25):
Now, I should think you children would have wanted to
start out with your own furnishing.

Speaker 8 (02:24:29):
Oh we did.

Speaker 12 (02:24:29):
There's a housing shortage, Hardley. Oh yes, of course, of course.

Speaker 15 (02:24:33):
We bought this place so many years ago. I've been spoiled.

Speaker 34 (02:24:36):
Oh it's so beautiful. What kind of dogs do you have?
What kind of what dogs?

Speaker 2 (02:24:42):
Dogs?

Speaker 12 (02:24:43):
My Non New York is no place to keep dog.

Speaker 34 (02:24:46):
But it is such a big house.

Speaker 42 (02:24:48):
You must have a yard.

Speaker 12 (02:24:50):
Yes we have.

Speaker 24 (02:24:50):
As a matter of fact, we had the garden done
over while we were gone. Where did you come again?
Soon and we'll show you what kind of a dog
have you got? My dear David was always crazy about.

Speaker 42 (02:25:01):
Well, we happened to get the most beautiful Newfoundland and
Newfoundland in a tiny apart. Yeah, I was a little prodded,
but we didn't mind.

Speaker 12 (02:25:09):
The owner wanted him back, though, so after a couple
of days we had to give him up. It was
quite a blow to both of us. Major was a
swell pup.

Speaker 34 (02:25:16):
You're both completely mad. Now we only have a little kitten.
David brought him for me last week.

Speaker 25 (02:25:21):
The cars here, sir, Oh, oh damn, No, Herry, No, Herry,
don't you children rush away now?

Speaker 2 (02:25:27):
Plenty of time.

Speaker 34 (02:25:28):
No, we mustn't keep you.

Speaker 12 (02:25:29):
We should have telephoned before we came.

Speaker 24 (02:25:31):
Matter of fact, we should have phoned you. We would
have too, but the clipper was late and I just
about had time for steam. Julia had her Mascus waiting.

Speaker 49 (02:25:39):
For You'll come for dinner next week, a wedding dinner
a bit late, but after all, David ran off and
got married, so first we never even had a chance
to meet you.

Speaker 34 (02:25:47):
I hope you're not disappointed.

Speaker 2 (02:25:49):
Disappointed.

Speaker 12 (02:25:50):
On the contrary, my child, you're very sweet. You don't
know how sweet Julia. She wanted to come over before
you got here and stock your ice box.

Speaker 34 (02:25:58):
Oh David, why'd you?

Speaker 12 (02:26:01):
Because I love you?

Speaker 7 (02:26:12):
Well?

Speaker 12 (02:26:12):
Shall we ring and let our butler open the door
for us?

Speaker 34 (02:26:15):
No, we'll just use our key.

Speaker 12 (02:26:17):
Good, we'll use our key.

Speaker 34 (02:26:23):
Put up the light, darling. Oh the radiator's leaking.

Speaker 12 (02:26:26):
Ooh, place's cold too. I'll tell you what. Let's go
out for dinner.

Speaker 42 (02:26:31):
Oh, David, must we must, we work go out to dinner.

Speaker 8 (02:26:33):
It's so nice to be home, leaking radiators and all.

Speaker 42 (02:26:37):
What'd you expect? The places missed us? We were away
fer an art got cold and damp. Just think Harley
and Julia were away for months and their house never
even knew they were gone, just kept on running.

Speaker 34 (02:26:49):
I'd hate to have a house like that.

Speaker 12 (02:26:51):
It's so ungrateful of it, isn't it, say David?

Speaker 34 (02:26:54):
It is cold in here, isn't it.

Speaker 42 (02:26:55):
Let's eat supper in the kitchen.

Speaker 12 (02:26:57):
It'll be warm and fun to have supper in the
kitchen with you, missus. Nothing would not only be warm
and fun, it would be an honor.

Speaker 34 (02:27:06):
David. Do you really mean it?

Speaker 12 (02:27:08):
I really mean it, Darling. I'm so glad we're us
feel so rich, So do I even though I can't
buy a Shakespeare folio for twenty two thousand dollars.

Speaker 34 (02:27:21):
I guess we're crazy.

Speaker 12 (02:27:23):
I guess we are. Aren't you even a little bit
envious of Hartley's and Julia's gorgeous house.

Speaker 42 (02:27:29):
It's all ears too. It a gorgeous house and nothing
alive in it, but servants.

Speaker 34 (02:27:33):
I bet it hasn't even got a mouse in.

Speaker 12 (02:27:35):
It, say talking of mice, Look who's hair?

Speaker 34 (02:27:38):
Oh will you look at the size of it coming
out to me?

Speaker 7 (02:27:42):
Oh?

Speaker 28 (02:27:42):
We prescious little ball of Or would you load him?

Speaker 34 (02:27:45):
If you glad?

Speaker 12 (02:27:46):
Mommy people, Claudia, Oh, you stop it before I commit
an act of cold blooded murder.

Speaker 34 (02:27:51):
What's the matter?

Speaker 12 (02:27:52):
I take back every nice thing I've ever said about you?
My cup of bitterness runneth over that I am married
to a woman who talks baby talk to At the
next thing, you know, you'll be talking it to me.

Speaker 34 (02:28:03):
You have a very exaggerated opinion of yourself. Has any snookums?
I should talk baby talk to him? Who does he
think he is? Anyway?

Speaker 12 (02:28:11):
Snookums? Don't make a sissy out of it. Give him
a respectable name and let him grow up like a
decent human being.

Speaker 34 (02:28:18):
I can't think of a name good enough for him.

Speaker 12 (02:28:20):
What's the matter with the Rover? He roved out?

Speaker 34 (02:28:23):
Says Rover, that's a dog's name.

Speaker 42 (02:28:24):
I wouldn't even give a dog that name snookems.

Speaker 34 (02:28:27):
Do you want to be called Rover?

Speaker 12 (02:28:29):
He doesn't come here, you come to your pappy. Come on,
come on, hey, you little monster. You've got claws already,
do you know it?

Speaker 2 (02:28:38):
Say?

Speaker 12 (02:28:39):
Say what do you think you're doing?

Speaker 36 (02:28:40):
That's my tie?

Speaker 8 (02:28:40):
Let go.

Speaker 42 (02:28:41):
You're practically talking baby talk yourself. Why don't you give
him a name?

Speaker 12 (02:28:45):
Well, all right, let's see now, how about Leo the lion?

Speaker 20 (02:28:51):
Leo the Lion?

Speaker 34 (02:28:52):
I wouldn't hear of it.

Speaker 42 (02:28:53):
I want something, something, something important for him, something.

Speaker 12 (02:28:57):
In the say, twenty two thousand dollars her bracket for her? Yes,
Shakespeare's shame.

Speaker 3 (02:29:18):
All story materials used on this broadcast of Claudia was
under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney.
Have you noticed how many more of those familiar red
coolers have been appearing in food stores lately. They're there

(02:29:40):
so you can pause when you're marketing and have a
nice cold Coca Cola. Then you can shop refresh and
that cool, refreshing drink will remind you to take Coca
Cola home to the family. Have your grocer or service
station attendant put a case in your car, then you'll
be certain always to have plenty on hand for the hospitable.
The Pause that refreshes every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia

(02:30:11):
comes to you, transcribed with the best wishes of your
friendly neighbor who bottles Coca cola. So listen again tomorrow
at the same time. And now this is Joe King
saying or revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do,
wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think

(02:30:32):
of Coca cola or ice cold. Coca Cola makes any pause.
The Pause that refreshes.

Speaker 5 (02:31:08):
Seventy eight years ago, November eighteenth, nineteen forty seven. Claudia
here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox. Join us
tomorrow for more Crime on a Wednesday with Counterspy, Escape, Suspense,
Calling All Cars and Claudia. That's all coming up on
our Wednesday edition. Have a great Tuesday. We'll talk to

(02:31:30):
you tomorrow for more Classic Radio Theater. I'm Wyatt Cox.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 11-18-25 - Grab Bag, Russian Diplomat, and Night School