Classic Radio 11-23-25 - Here Come the Pilgrims, Where's the Turkey, and Duck at Jack's House - Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Now the greatest radio shows of all time.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Huspense, Shadow Note Washington calling David Honey count.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
As my classic radios Theater, the.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Great Yeldest Lade, Zavia McGhee and Molly dragones gun Alone
rang Zoe.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Now step back into a time machine. It's your host,
Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Good Evening Friend, Vionna Tank.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Thanksgiving shows on this Sunday with episodes of Good News
of nineteen forty with host Edward Arnold, Baby Snooks and
uh Walter Houston and Moore. Also, we'll have an episode
of the Aldridge Family Bobby Yellis from seventy three years ago.
We'll go back to Jack Bennie's house and Thanksgiving Day

(01:00):
dinner with Alice Fay among the rest of the gang there,
and we'll wrap it all up with an episode of
Love and Abner. That's what's coming up on this Sunday.
This is the twenty third day of November three hundred
and twenty seventh day of the year, thirty eight days left.
In twenty twenty five, corrupt Tammany Hall leader William Marcy Tweed,
better known as Boss Tweed, delivered to New York City

(01:23):
authorities after being captured in Spain. In eighteen seventy six,
Colorado Governor James Peabody sent the state militia into the
town of Cripple Creek to break up a minors strike.
In nineteen oh three, King Features signed an agreement with
Fleischer Studios on this date in nineteen thirty three to
create a series of animated cartoons around the Thimble Theater characters,

(01:47):
and especially around a fellow by the name of Popeye.

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Mine.

Speaker 6 (01:53):
I'm I'm name.

Speaker 7 (02:00):
Thanks throng to the finish because I eat meat finish.
I'm haider sail from it. I'm want of girls lookers,
which takes hope her lookers what he con me up
and square w pips and I bottom and always across them,
but none of them gets nowhere. If anyone that is

(02:23):
to risk me fast, it's fatten as I am understand.
So we could behavor and go one night favor with
pop Er. Sail over my pop by the sail man,
not by the sail woman. I'm strong to the finish

(02:44):
because I eat say Spanish time pop Y.

Speaker 8 (02:46):
The sail of Bird.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
William Costello the original voice of Popeye, a voice that
would be replicated by later performers such as Jack Mercer
and even May Castell Popeye coming to the screen for
the newspapers on this date in nineteen thirty three. First
edition of Like magazine published on this date in nineteen

(03:38):
thirty six. It would be not until nineteen fifty four
that the now Jones Industrial Average closed above the peak
it reaches before the nineteen twenty nine crash. General Charles
de Gauld, the President of France, declared in a speech
in his vision for a Europe from the Atlantic to
the Urals. The first episode of the long running science

(04:02):
fiction TV series Doctor Who, An Unearthly Child, aired on
the BBC on this date in nineteen sixty three. Many
of those early episodes have been lost, just pitched. They
didn't preserve that stuff. President Reagan signed the top secret

(04:23):
National Security Decision Directive seventeen, giving the CIA the authority
to recruit and support Contra rebels in Nicaragua back in
nineteen eighty one. In nineteen eighty four, Hail Mary from
Boston College quarterback Doug Flutie a forty eight yard Hail
Mary pastor Gerald Falen to defeat the University of Miami

(04:46):
Hurricanes forty seven to forty.

Speaker 9 (04:49):
Five, three wide receivers out to the right.

Speaker 10 (04:55):
Fluty flushed throws it down caught by Boston College. I
don't believe it. Oh, it's a touchdown, angles win it unbelievable,
don't believe it. Fela is at the bottom of that pile.
Here comes the Boston College team. He thrown into the

(05:16):
end zone. There was no time left on the clock.
The ball went between two defensive backs of Miami. Jack
McNeal is the only person over there on the sidelines.
He couldn't get the headset off fast enough. Doug Flutey
has done it, and your heart goes out to Bernie Cossar,

(05:38):
who did everything he could and like we said, it
went down to the last at bat.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Brent Musburger, Era Parsigi and Pat Hayden with the call
from CBS. One of the most famous plays in American
college football history. It eclips Miami quarterback Bernie Cozard's school
record four hundred and forty seven yards passing in Miami
running back Melvyn Bratton rushing for four touchdowns. Flutei became

(06:04):
the first collegiate quarterback ever to surpass ten thousand yards
passing in a college career. Do you remember Fluty Flakes.
That was a short attempt to capitalize on Doug Flute's
fame as quarterback. Now it was ten years ago to
the Blue Origins New Shepherd space vehicle became the first

(06:26):
rocket to successfully fly to space and then returned to
Earth for a controlled vertical landing, not just dropping in
the ocean. Among those passing away on this date in history,
and it was a sad date for our lovers of
my friend Irma Marie Wilson passing away on this date

(06:47):
in nineteen seventy two of cancer. She was just fifty
six years old. Also passing away on this date actress
Merle Oberon, German actor Kloskinski, also musician roy A Cup,
pro wrestler Art Barr who had his troubled life as well,
but he was a good wrestler. Singer Anita O'Day and

(07:10):
from Dallas, and I dream of Genie Larry Hagman going
from a comedian to a sneaky guy and also passing
away on this date in history last year, Chuck Woolery,
game show host, singer, TV personality. Let's turn to birthdays

(07:33):
on this date and they include Boris Carlov.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Hello little Man who are you.

Speaker 11 (07:43):
I'm Jolio Satan Nick P five poh.

Speaker 12 (07:48):
I mean, who ho ho?

Speaker 13 (07:54):
If he keeps laughing like that, it's pretty sides.

Speaker 12 (07:58):
Have you been a good boy Aesa?

Speaker 13 (08:02):
Yes, I was a good boy and I was a
good middle aged man too, But lately I've been slipping
a little.

Speaker 14 (08:18):
Nevertheless, you're still on Santa's list.

Speaker 12 (08:20):
I'm a little late this Christmas Eve. I was delayed.

Speaker 15 (08:24):
One of my Regindias slipped and fell.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
What did you do? I ate him?

Speaker 4 (08:31):
Gotta tell you. I love Boris Carlisle. He was a
proper actor, did some horrific stuff on camera, did a
great job with it. But he also had a great
sense of humor. We've got a routine that came from

(08:51):
a Red Skeleton show with Boris Carloff and I want
to say it is the Saint not the Saint in
on radio. I can think of his name, Vincent Price,
and he and they're on television yucking it up. They

(09:15):
were good. They were good. Boris Carlos born on this date,
also president fourteenth President of the US. Quick who is it?
See if you can remember John Dayner born on this
data great somebody we really enjoy on this channel. Singer
Betty Everett, actress Dominique Dunn, and Harpo Marx was born

(09:37):
on this data as well.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
How you do half well? I'm missus George Burns.

Speaker 16 (09:44):
Oh thank you?

Speaker 17 (09:46):
You think I'm pretty huh. My figure tells things to you.
You just can't take your eyes off my face. I'm
young and a larne and irresistible sirens. I sassinate you all,
your little devil. What a line you've got.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
With Gracie Allen from a nineteen forty six episode of
Burns and Allen. Harpo Marx born on this date in history.
You remember who the fourteenth president of the US is.
He was born on this date as well. Franklin Pierce
born on this date in history. All of those folks
have left the building.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Hi, this is Jeff Foxworthy.

Speaker 18 (10:33):
It is now time for the birthday announcements.

Speaker 16 (10:35):
The following people are now officially older.

Speaker 4 (10:38):
Than Dirt Democrat Senate Leader Chuck Schumer seventy five today.

Speaker 19 (10:44):
And let me say this to all of the chattering
class that so much focuses on those little, tiny, yes,
porky amendments. The American people really don't care.

Speaker 4 (10:57):
I keep that around just to remind you that one
of the things that Chuck Schumer always denied is the
American people didn't like it when bills were filled with pork,
and he's people who't care. Well, guess what people care.
Chuck Schumer seventy five Today, Bruce Hornsby, that's just the

(11:18):
way it is seventy one years old today, from the
sequel to the original Grease, Grease Too. Maxwell Caulfield is
sixty six. For Good Morning America and ESPN, Robin Roberts
is sixty five.

Speaker 5 (11:33):
It's a new Good Morning America.

Speaker 20 (11:35):
Well sort of.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
Robin Roberts sixty five today. Comedian's TV host Chris Hardwick
is fifty four, Paige Kennedy from Showtimes Weeds is forty nine,
and Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus thirty three years old.
Those just few people celebrating the twenty thirty of November
is their birthday.

Speaker 21 (11:57):
If this is your birthday, Happyole Day too, Happy People
Day two, hayo Day, People Day.

Speaker 22 (12:19):
Day too.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
I gotta start off with an episode that we don't
We don't do many of these shows because I think
we've all We've got of them are a few of
the holiday shows. So we have good News of nineteen
of forty as it was originally broadcast on this date,
November twenty third, nineteen thirty nine, eighty six years ago.

(12:49):
An episode that deals, of course with Thanksgiving, and here
come the Pilgrims in just a moment after I tell
you that with Thanksgiving, you know, here comes those those
gut issues, all of that mess. A cancer patient was
dealing with digestive issues, and they ended up developing Professor

(13:12):
Bees Digestibate using just two pure ingredients, pure honey and apitheria,
an herb from ancient Rome, and with those two simple agreements,
it developed something that gave lots of relief. And then
they tested it people with throat problems, people with other
digestive issues, acid reflux, other cancer patients. It settled their digestion.

(13:38):
And of course, if you settle your digestion, you feel better,
you work better, and it gives you one thing, and
that is the ability to recover from any disease quickly
and smoothly. Check out Professor bees Digestibate, read the testimonials,
find out all the information. You'll find it at profbees

(13:58):
dot com if you don't want to write it down
or type it in yourself. There's a link in the
show notes. There's a link at Classic Radio dot stream
and you can find it all there. And if you order,
there is a money back guarantee. But if you order
and use my promo code wyat wyat T you do
two things. And number one, you support the podcast because

(14:20):
we receive a percentage of the sales. And number two,
even better, you get ten percent the lowest price possible
on Professor B's Digestive Aid. If you've got the belly aches,
if you're tired of dealing with all the chemical and
prescriptive solutions that use all bunch of stuff that you

(14:41):
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try something simple Professor B's Digestive Aid promo code wyat.
Just go to the web page. Check it out profbes
dot com, p R O F B E E S
dot com. Up next, Good News.

Speaker 23 (15:05):
Civil Defense is common Sense. Hi, this is Tony Bennett.
Make sure you are prepared. It's Nuclear Attacktive.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
It comes Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox gets going
here with Good News of nineteen forty. The host of
the show is Edward Arnold. Going back eighty six years
to November twenty third, nineteen thirty nine, Baby Snooks and Daddy,
Raymond Walburn and Walter Houston all on this show with

(15:33):
an arch obler sketch. You'll find it very interesting. That's
all coming up here during the next hour. Let's listen
to the first half right now from eighty six years ago,
November twenty third, nineteen thirty nine, max.

Speaker 24 (15:47):
Fellhouse Coffee presents Good News and nineteen forty. The makers

(16:10):
of Maxwellhouse Coffee welcome you once again to an hour
of entertainment brought to you each week from Hollywood and
starring Fanny, Bryce, Hanley Stafford, Connie Boswell, and Meredith Wilson
and his artistra The night's guests of honor are Walter
Houston and one of the screen's foremost character comedians, Raymond Walburn.

Speaker 9 (16:26):
And here was your host for the Tower of Entertainment,
Edward Arnold.

Speaker 12 (16:35):
Good evening, everybody.

Speaker 15 (16:36):
I think we've got another grand show for you tonight.
Our old friend Walter Houston and an amusing fellow, Raymond Walburn.
And to start our program, Meredith Wilson has arranged a
special opening number with some sort of seasonal fifth flavor.

Speaker 12 (16:49):
What's the name of it? Meredith Winter Wonderland.

Speaker 25 (16:52):
Say, Eddie, I certainly enjoyed that Thanksgiving turkey at your
house today, but I'd like to.

Speaker 15 (16:56):
Make a suggestion later, Ladies and gentlemen, Meredith Wilson plays
win underwear Wonderland, okay, playing.

Speaker 26 (17:41):
Listen, listen, then walking in the window under line.

Speaker 27 (18:00):
He sings on the song as we.

Speaker 26 (18:03):
Go along walking the Winter, and the man.

Speaker 12 (18:08):
In the mary being the bells old man and pretended.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Him using ron.

Speaker 6 (18:15):
He say, I am.

Speaker 28 (18:16):
Married bsing old man, but you can.

Speaker 17 (18:20):
Do your INTI.

Speaker 26 (18:30):
They saw a praise the man's every man walking in
the window underland.

Speaker 15 (18:59):
Hm, that was fine, murders fine, Now we continue with
the good news.

Speaker 11 (19:08):
Pro pardon.

Speaker 25 (19:09):
I enjoyed that party at your house, Eddie, but I'd
like to make just one little criticism.

Speaker 12 (19:13):
Uh, sounding the matter with the turkey?

Speaker 25 (19:14):
No, no, the turkey was fine what there was of it,
and there was plenty of it such as it was.
As a matter of fact, even if it was no good,
I wouldn't complain about it.

Speaker 29 (19:23):
I'm too well bred.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yes, I can see that.

Speaker 12 (19:25):
Well, what is it that's rankling on your breast?

Speaker 29 (19:28):
Oh that's gravy. But if I thought you wouldn't take offense.
I'd like to make just one suggestion.

Speaker 12 (19:34):
Oh, I'd be glad to have a suggestion. Go ahead,
all right.

Speaker 29 (19:37):
It was in regards to you're sure you won't mind?

Speaker 12 (19:41):
Certainly not, old fellow.

Speaker 29 (19:42):
Go on, Well, just about the time that dinner was over.

Speaker 25 (19:45):
I you know, Eddie, I think the reason I'm hesitating
over this is that I have a cousin who's a
fat love too.

Speaker 29 (19:50):
And he's very touchy.

Speaker 15 (19:54):
And do you ever give him suggestions all the time?

Speaker 29 (19:58):
But I want to be sure you'll take what I'm
going to say in.

Speaker 12 (20:00):
The right spirit.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Oh.

Speaker 25 (20:01):
Absolutely, Well, what I was thinking was that at your
party right after the listen that he you're sure I
won't hurt your feelings?

Speaker 12 (20:08):
A man, what is it all you asked for it?

Speaker 25 (20:12):
I don't think it was right for you to have
those Collie dogs of yours in the dining room while
we were eating dinner.

Speaker 15 (20:16):
Well, I must say that's a very silly criticism. I
have those dogs in the dining room with me every evening.
They're extremely well manned.

Speaker 25 (20:23):
Well maybe so, but it was awfully annoying to have
them sitting there for half an hour licking my fingers.

Speaker 12 (20:28):
Well, if you eat with a knife and a fork,
you wouldn't be so friendly.

Speaker 25 (20:31):
Oh, I knew you'd lose your temper. I'll never make
another suggestion to you again.

Speaker 12 (20:37):
Now you're cooking with gas.

Speaker 15 (20:39):
All right, we'll go ahead with the program, ladies and gentlemen,
I'll get savanna this evening of Walter Houston. Oh, I
like him good, and that amiable gentleman of the screen
Raymond Walburg.

Speaker 29 (20:52):
Well that's a relief.

Speaker 12 (20:53):
What do you mean or relief?

Speaker 29 (20:54):
I was afraid you're gonna have that uncouth Rosenbloom again.

Speaker 12 (20:57):
But what's the matter with him? I think he's very amusing,
and so does the public.

Speaker 25 (21:00):
Amusing Nothing, he's a dope? Well, he's no actor. The
guy is punched hung.

Speaker 30 (21:05):
Well, Murdith, he's been in four hundred fights.

Speaker 31 (21:08):
What's your excuse?

Speaker 12 (21:15):
Connie, You took the words right out of my mouth.

Speaker 32 (21:17):
I couldn't hold back any longer.

Speaker 29 (21:18):
Ready, Well, I'm sure I don't see what's so funny.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Well, I don't care. There's not really dope. But after
that remark, I think you'd better call up on that stand. Okay,
miss Bosbo, will you favor.

Speaker 33 (21:33):
Us with the song?

Speaker 34 (21:34):
I'm sure well, Eddie, and I'd like to say I
enjoyed your party with no ifs and all.

Speaker 15 (21:40):
But oh what a girl, What a girl, Ladies and gentlemen.
Connie Boswell singing's one of the brightest of the new songs.

Speaker 35 (21:46):
Scatter Brain, your responsive has the morning and refreshing as the.

Speaker 32 (22:01):
Isn't it appear that you're.

Speaker 36 (22:03):
Such a scatter brains When you dance, it through delightful
when you talk. It's so in things still the young
Chado gas brains. I know I'll end the apple plating,
but there's nothing I can do.

Speaker 22 (22:17):
It's just the same scene in the hurricane and a.

Speaker 32 (22:22):
My life will be too hectic.

Speaker 22 (22:24):
I'm so love with you.

Speaker 32 (22:27):
Nothing else will mather you.

Speaker 28 (22:29):
My dollar has brains, your rast has New Year part.

Speaker 32 (22:44):
You're as sweet as sugar cane.

Speaker 33 (22:49):
Got a shame?

Speaker 34 (22:51):
What a shame that you're a cat cat care bag
when we dance.

Speaker 22 (22:59):
I think it's him.

Speaker 36 (23:02):
Still about a third refrain.

Speaker 22 (23:06):
A shame gotta shame.

Speaker 27 (23:09):
You that you a scare ha has he got over bring.
I'm much to have had a lady.

Speaker 32 (23:22):
I'm up that well on trees.

Speaker 36 (23:25):
I've tried to understand your doubles.

Speaker 32 (23:29):
Off in vain.

Speaker 36 (23:34):
Oh please forgive your critics ause you mean so much
to mean.

Speaker 27 (23:43):
Nothing now.

Speaker 36 (23:47):
And my scaver.

Speaker 34 (23:55):
Scather brain, what a shame, And you're a cat cat stammer.

Speaker 31 (24:14):
And here's warn Hall all ready to set the next scene.

Speaker 12 (24:16):
Thanks Edie.

Speaker 24 (24:17):
The scene is just outside the football stadium, nearest your
town and mine.

Speaker 12 (24:21):
It's just a few minutes before game time.

Speaker 37 (24:23):
The sky is gray. There's a real chill in the air. Say,
I've never seen so many smiling faces as we join
the huddle of happy young people who are right we're here. Say, Judy,
pass that termus of coffee over this way, will you please.

Speaker 30 (24:35):
Right, Bob, but go easy on us. We'll be frozen
before the game is over.

Speaker 29 (24:39):
Let's be save some coffee.

Speaker 38 (24:40):
For the half, okay, Judy, but say next time let's
bring more coffee.

Speaker 37 (24:44):
Football and Maxwell House coffee mean a big afternoon in
any man's language. Yes, whether it's on the campus or
in the kitchen, there's nothing like the cheery, stimulation and
friendly warmth of a steaming, fragrant cup of Maxwell House
coffee to.

Speaker 12 (24:57):
Set a man right with the world.

Speaker 37 (24:59):
You see, Ever since it was created more than fifty
years ago by a man named Joel Cheek. This famous
coffee has been a favorite with thousands of men the
country over. First, because we've found a way to further
enrich this famous coffee blends so wonderfully that now you
get extra goodness, extra body and richness flavor you may
never have known in coffee before. Second, there's a new

(25:20):
radiant roast process which roasts each coffee bean evenly all
the way through. No chance this way of weak coffee
from under roasting or bitter coffee from parts coffee beans.
That's why today more people are enjoying Maxwell House than
ever before in its history. So if you haven't tried
Maxwell House coffee lately, get upon tomorrow, won't you. We

(25:41):
think your own enjoyment and satisfaction will tell you this
new Maxwell House is now more than ever good to
the last drop.

Speaker 15 (25:56):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, here's family, Bryce's baby snooks.

Speaker 12 (26:05):
Oh, I've had to happen sooner or later.

Speaker 15 (26:07):
Daddy played by Hanley Stafford, has received the jury summons
and must appear in court today to make matters worse.
This is Daddy's busy day of the office, and as
the scene opens, we find him dressing hurriedly and an
none too pleasant mood.

Speaker 12 (26:20):
Listen, fine thing.

Speaker 31 (26:23):
Five million people in this city and they have to
pick me for jury duty. I'll give the guy a life.

Speaker 28 (26:28):
No mining, daddy.

Speaker 31 (26:30):
What's good about it? Nothing? Look out, snokes. I'm in
a hurry. Hey, I have to be in court in
half an hour. Where's my pants?

Speaker 30 (26:38):
You've gone alone?

Speaker 31 (26:40):
Oh well, never mind, I'll look for him myself.

Speaker 39 (26:42):
Where are you going there?

Speaker 31 (26:43):
I told you I have to go to court. I've
been called for jury duty. I've got to appear in
a suit. What they didn't tell me? It can be
any kind of a suit.

Speaker 39 (26:52):
You went away?

Speaker 30 (26:52):
Am I meeting my u?

Speaker 12 (26:55):
Snokes?

Speaker 31 (26:55):
This has nothing to do with clothes. Someone is sewing
somebody else.

Speaker 29 (27:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 31 (27:00):
I'll find out when I get there.

Speaker 28 (27:03):
Where do you have to go, daddy?

Speaker 31 (27:04):
Because I'm going to be a member of the jury,
I on't join two. I don't start any of that
nonsense in the first place. Little girls don't serve on juries. Why,
because that's the law. A jury is composed of eleven
jurism the poeman, what boy, he gives the verdict? All
juries must have foremen.

Speaker 30 (27:21):
You said they have eleven?

Speaker 40 (27:23):
They have got eleven, but they have poor men. Besides,
they have fifteen eggs. No, they only have twelve. Huh, yes,
there's eleven men. On jurism with a poor man makes it.

Speaker 31 (27:33):
Twelve eleven in boys twelve, No eleven on forest fifteen.
But the poeman in this case happens to be just
one man, and he's the pawman. Sometimes the jury has
twelve jurymen. They're all ladies.

Speaker 33 (27:47):
The four men too exactly.

Speaker 30 (27:52):
Deep your I.

Speaker 31 (27:52):
Can listen, snooks. It doesn't make any difference how I feel.
I still have to go to court and serve on
that broken down jeury on this understand?

Speaker 30 (28:01):
What did jolly?

Speaker 31 (28:03):
What did I just get through telling you?

Speaker 17 (28:06):
Conervin in four is twelve and all the man's lady,
I didn't.

Speaker 6 (28:11):
Serving your child.

Speaker 31 (28:13):
If there were all ladies on the jury, would I
be doing there?

Speaker 30 (28:16):
I know?

Speaker 33 (28:19):
Are you stopper.

Speaker 11 (28:22):
Any more?

Speaker 33 (28:23):
Like your mother?

Speaker 12 (28:23):
Every day?

Speaker 29 (28:24):
How any penny pressing with you?

Speaker 41 (28:27):
Do?

Speaker 12 (28:27):
You can't go with me?

Speaker 31 (28:28):
They don't allow children in court. Why because it's a
very serious thing. The only people present are the lawyers,
the judge, and jury. We have to decide whether the
man is innocent or guilty. Which man the man that's
being tried.

Speaker 30 (28:42):
What he trying to do, Daddy, he's trying to.

Speaker 31 (28:44):
Get free today he gets his hearing is dead.

Speaker 33 (28:51):
No, he's got there.

Speaker 31 (28:53):
Ain't well, then don't bother me with questions. Why because
I'm in a hurry. I don't get the court on time.
They'll hold me in contempt.

Speaker 12 (29:03):
It's no place.

Speaker 31 (29:04):
It's a breach of the law. And I'll get a pine.
Get one fine fine pine.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
You'll have to g No.

Speaker 33 (29:11):
I hate it.

Speaker 31 (29:12):
I have to go, just the same when people are
called for Julia duty, they have to go because they
receive Supenis.

Speaker 25 (29:18):
You want to.

Speaker 31 (29:21):
I didn't say some peanuts. I said some penuts.

Speaker 33 (29:25):
Have to do well.

Speaker 31 (29:26):
As soon as I get a court, I'm challenged by
both lawyers.

Speaker 22 (29:30):
I wanted to fight them.

Speaker 31 (29:32):
I don't fight them. They interrogate me. Does you take no,
It doesn't hurt. It simply means. The lawyers asked me
a lot of questions before they swear me in h
I have to swear.

Speaker 17 (29:44):
Do you make the lawyers may no word remm.

Speaker 31 (29:50):
I don't swear at the lawyers. I take an oath
that I'll see justice their properly. And the court is
called to order. The lawyers come in.

Speaker 12 (29:57):
With their briefs.

Speaker 33 (29:59):
Is not only.

Speaker 31 (30:02):
They don't wear their briefs. They hand them to the judge.

Speaker 30 (30:05):
Ain't got any of the now, No.

Speaker 31 (30:08):
The only briefs he's got are those He gets them
the lawyers, and you know.

Speaker 33 (30:11):
What he does.

Speaker 31 (30:13):
He puts them on snooks. These are not the kind
of briefs people wear. These briefs are just paper. I
don't care what money has gone. These papers contain the
evidence in the case. That's how the lawyers present the
bare pats.

Speaker 33 (30:32):
Everything clear to you now, nobody weigh.

Speaker 31 (30:44):
Everybody is fully dressed. The evidence is presented, the witnesses testify,
the lawyers argue the case, and then the judge charges the.

Speaker 12 (30:51):
Jury how much.

Speaker 31 (30:54):
He doesn't charge the money. He places the case in
the hands of the jury. We weigh the testimony and
bring in the bird. You doing no, and I gotta
leave right now.

Speaker 30 (31:03):
No, I'll take you with it all.

Speaker 31 (31:05):
You'll what, I'll shake my head till my head falls off. Please, No,
it's don't make any trouble now, I'll be lave for
cords you. No, I look here, I'll show you what
happens there. Satisfied, satisfied all right, you'll be the defendant,
and now.

Speaker 12 (31:21):
I'll be a lawyer. Now you take the stand.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Why shall I take it down?

Speaker 31 (31:24):
Nowhere? Just sit in that chair and hurry.

Speaker 41 (31:28):
Now.

Speaker 31 (31:28):
You were charged with with stealing some cookies from the kitchen,
am I?

Speaker 22 (31:33):
Yes?

Speaker 31 (31:33):
First I have to swear you in repeat that for me.
I sell him. If you had to tell the tooth,
the whole tooth, nothing but the too, so.

Speaker 33 (31:38):
Help me.

Speaker 19 (31:40):
The whole.

Speaker 31 (31:43):
I'll just examine you, shall I stick up my tongue?

Speaker 42 (31:46):
No?

Speaker 31 (31:47):
No, I'm going to prove that you didn't take those
cookies from that cookie jar.

Speaker 43 (31:53):
You can't do it.

Speaker 6 (31:55):
Why not?

Speaker 41 (31:57):
Because I took a book.

Speaker 31 (31:59):
That's a different picture.

Speaker 33 (32:00):
This pat dress. Come on very.

Speaker 12 (32:12):
Well, ladies and gentlemen. Meredith Wilson's next number is so good.

Speaker 15 (32:15):
I've got to break down and apologize for losing my
temper with him a few moments ago.

Speaker 12 (32:20):
Meredith, I am truly sorry.

Speaker 29 (32:21):
Okay, ed, possibly I was at fault.

Speaker 12 (32:24):
Don't let's go into that.

Speaker 15 (32:27):
But honestly, here's another one of these arrangements in the
South American rhythm that really does.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Something to me.

Speaker 15 (32:33):
This time it's the moon was yellow and ladies and gentlemen,
it's marvelous, and the night was.

Speaker 44 (33:24):
A smile brought us to again, and I was wondering
when we beat again, and the song was song that

(33:47):
vocal inspirations gave me the incremations to give my heart.

Speaker 12 (34:03):
It's our wrong master, contain you will it be my
luck to me?

Speaker 23 (34:11):
You my.

Speaker 28 (34:28):
Now, my whole time.

Speaker 44 (34:33):
Drop around that pupid you wold harmony, yell.

Speaker 33 (34:41):
I'm not.

Speaker 28 (34:54):
My and my whole thought.

Speaker 38 (35:06):
All wrong that you.

Speaker 45 (35:09):
Hold the jealous And.

Speaker 15 (35:30):
Now I want you to meet one of the most
amusing and versatile comedians and character actors in Hollywood.

Speaker 12 (35:35):
On the screen.

Speaker 15 (35:36):
You know, Raymond Walburn is a conniving gentleman with a
blustering manner and a roving eye.

Speaker 12 (35:41):
For the fair sex. Half the screen.

Speaker 15 (35:43):
He is quiet, reserved, and almost monkish in his habits.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the other side of
Raymond Walburn, better known as the Deacon.

Speaker 12 (35:51):
All right, Raymond, come on out and say hello to
the people. I'm afraid we've got the wrong side of Alburn.

Speaker 15 (36:00):
He's coming on here with three very lovely girls now now,
and they don't get me wrong.

Speaker 46 (36:04):
You know, these pretty little flowers are my nieces, the
daughters of my only sister who resides in Denver.

Speaker 12 (36:10):
Well, that's all right.

Speaker 31 (36:12):
They have attended exclusive finishing schools in the East, but
every winter they came out here to spend a little
time with their.

Speaker 12 (36:19):
Old uncle Raymond. You know, the lovely, wet, well bred girl. Yes,
I'm sure that.

Speaker 33 (36:24):
Now.

Speaker 12 (36:24):
Girls, I'll have to find some seats for you. How
about those seats in the front row or would you
rather sit on the.

Speaker 31 (36:29):
Stage, lit on the stage?

Speaker 12 (36:33):
Mister your nieces?

Speaker 46 (36:37):
Oh yeah, they're very formal children and an old Chicago family.

Speaker 12 (36:42):
I thought you said Denver. Oh I did say Denver.

Speaker 46 (36:45):
You're quite right, Edward, but I might just as well
have said connected it why my sister's third husband was
a gypsy.

Speaker 31 (36:53):
They're beautiful children, after.

Speaker 12 (36:56):
I should say, so? Why they could be in Carol's show?
They are already they are? Well, Deacon, you've crossed me
up here.

Speaker 15 (37:05):
I've been trying to show the public you're off stage
character and.

Speaker 12 (37:08):
You walk in with a handful of chorus girls.

Speaker 33 (37:11):
Is that cricket?

Speaker 42 (37:12):
No?

Speaker 12 (37:13):
But it's more fun.

Speaker 46 (37:15):
However, Edward, you can put your mind at rest. These
delicate creatures are business associates of mine. Yes, they hold
responsible positions in one of my holding companies.

Speaker 12 (37:24):
Hold on, I'm holding this is most interesting, Deacon.

Speaker 15 (37:30):
Not many people know this, but I myself am behind
a big corporation.

Speaker 12 (37:34):
Well, I think everybody knows it.

Speaker 22 (37:39):
You know this.

Speaker 46 (37:40):
This particular company of mine is known as Turkey Enterprises Incorporated.
My corporation supplies turkeys to our client by subscription.

Speaker 12 (37:47):
Oh well, how does it work?

Speaker 46 (37:50):
I let my board of directors give you the standard
sales talk, ladies. That's the whole thing in a nutshell.
Partly in order to make it a little clearer, I'll
explain it myself now. In the month of March, I
received four hundred dollars in subscription money. Then I go
out and purchase one turkey by the name of Sylvia
for three dollars. That's a pretty name for the turkey. Yes,

(38:14):
that leaves me a net profit of three hundred and
ninety seven dollars so far.

Speaker 12 (38:19):
By careful manipulation and diplomatic treatment.

Speaker 46 (38:22):
Mind you, the turkey is persuaded to lay a oh
Sylvia lazy, Yes, yes.

Speaker 12 (38:29):
At the rate of five and a Deacon, I don't
like that. Well, the turkey don't like it either.

Speaker 46 (38:33):
Now, now, over the end of June, I have four
hundred turkeys and nine hundred days.

Speaker 29 (38:39):
Now, would you be interested investing in this enterprise?

Speaker 12 (38:41):
Now listen here, deacon. Did you come under this program
just to lay and I mean to sell turkeys?

Speaker 46 (38:48):
I forgive I certainly not, certainly not. I'm really trying
to let my friends in on a good thing.

Speaker 12 (38:53):
Yeah, well, I see. Maybe this will surprise you, deacon.
But I was once a confidence man myself. That is
an unbetur was.

Speaker 15 (39:00):
Yes, I know, but as one crook to another, let
me tip you off. There's nobody around here dumb enough
to put money in your scheme.

Speaker 12 (39:07):
Oh that's very discouraging. It very discouraging. Now wait a minute,
Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
What about that?

Speaker 12 (39:13):
Oh well, that rub over there with a hair, Oh
you don't see that. That's Meredith Wilson. He's the mental
type you're looking for.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
But I don't know.

Speaker 12 (39:22):
I'll bet he carries a change purse.

Speaker 15 (39:25):
Introduce me to him, okay, or Meredith, I want you
to meet mister Walburn.

Speaker 12 (39:29):
He's an investment counselor.

Speaker 29 (39:30):
Well, mister Walburn, it's an honor.

Speaker 12 (39:32):
And these ladies here are my board of directors.

Speaker 29 (39:35):
Oh, it's a pleasure.

Speaker 46 (39:41):
Mister Wilson, you seem like a man of discernment. Do
you know anything about turkeys?

Speaker 31 (39:46):
Do I You might not think it to look at me,
but I was raised on a farm.

Speaker 12 (39:50):
Well well, well, well let's go to show. You can't
judge a book where it's cover or so. You're familiar
with raising turkeys?

Speaker 29 (39:57):
Eh, slept with turkeys till I was nine.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
Oh you did, yes, sir.

Speaker 29 (40:02):
My father raised turkeys.

Speaker 12 (40:03):
Meredith was the oldest.

Speaker 29 (40:06):
Well I know one thing. You can't make any money
with turkeys.

Speaker 12 (40:08):
Quite right, my boy? Quite right? Hard are you married in.

Speaker 29 (40:12):
A small way? Don't let that body you girls?

Speaker 12 (40:16):
Well, they tell me, mister Wilson.

Speaker 25 (40:19):
Wilson two elves, uh, Normandy two three four eight. That's
my office phone. If anybody's interested, I'll have.

Speaker 12 (40:28):
To get my hunting license.

Speaker 46 (40:30):
Tell me, mister Wilson, how are you going to remember
your wife this Christmas?

Speaker 13 (40:35):
Well?

Speaker 29 (40:36):
How can I forget I She'll be right there under
the tree.

Speaker 46 (40:38):
No, no, no, no, I'm I'm talking about a little
gift to gladden her heart.

Speaker 12 (40:44):
Would you be interested in a fur coat slightly stolen?

Speaker 11 (40:47):
What's that?

Speaker 21 (40:47):
I think?

Speaker 12 (40:48):
I think? I think mister Williams. Will I can, I can, Wilson.

Speaker 46 (40:53):
I can get you a nice fur coat for missus Williams,
very reasonably, the finest fur in the market will stand
the rain. Did you ever see a skunk carrying numbrella?
I can let you have this quote for well, now,
how much money?

Speaker 12 (41:08):
Did you say you had?

Speaker 29 (41:10):
Three dollars?

Speaker 46 (41:11):
Three hundred dollars? Well, that's lucky, isn't it? Yes, sir,
you could you get to the bank tomorrow morning.

Speaker 29 (41:18):
Oh, I'm too smart for those banks, mister Walburn, I
carry the money, right, wouldn't he pined the my undershirt that.

Speaker 46 (41:26):
You say you have three hundred dollars on your person
at this very moment? Yes, sir, I see how would
you like to come over to my house and take
a shower?

Speaker 12 (41:37):
Wait a minute, taken, Chessela, don't steal it? Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 46 (41:41):
All second talk, my boy, that that fur coat would
be not be a good investment for you For three
hundred dollars, I'm going to let you have three hundred
shares of stock in the Spurious gold Mine Incorporated that
entitled you do all the privileges?

Speaker 29 (41:55):
What does that mean?

Speaker 12 (41:56):
That means? Diould you be taking into the firm.

Speaker 31 (41:58):
Oh boy, I always say he who hesitates has lost.

Speaker 29 (42:03):
Here's the three hundred mister Walburn page says you're a shoe.

Speaker 31 (42:07):
Operator, my boy, Well, when will you take me in?

Speaker 28 (42:09):
Hi?

Speaker 46 (42:09):
You've been taking it already, ladies, And you addition to
our board of directors right now, see you later at it.

Speaker 24 (42:43):
We return in just a moment when you will hear
Walter Houston and a stirring drama and the entire cast
and a comedy sketch. In the meantime, we paused briefly
for a station identification.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
The first half of Good News of nineteen forty with
Edward Arnold from eighty six years ago, November twenty third,
nineteen thirty nine. We'll have the second half coming up
in just a moment right here on Classic Radio Theater
with Wyatt Cox.

Speaker 42 (43:22):
Civil Defense is common Sense. This is Fred McMurray. Home
shelters can be built for as little as one hundred dollars.
Simple plans for building inexpensive home shelters are available free
from your Civil Defense office. Ask for a copy of
the Family Fallout Shelter booklet.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
We continue now on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox
with the conclusion of the Good News of nineteen forty
with host Edward Arnold from eighty six years ago. November
twenty third, nineteen thirty nine.

Speaker 15 (43:49):
This is Edward Donald again and we continue our Maxwell
House Good News program with a tune. I first said
murders place several weeks before I was even a member
of the Good newscast. It's one of the seasons hit
called one hundred to one. Be sure and listen for
the counting in the second chorus, Meredith, it's.

Speaker 22 (44:42):
A hundreds of one.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
Love, it's a hundred.

Speaker 33 (44:47):
It's you.

Speaker 45 (44:49):
It's a unlet to be lucky.

Speaker 26 (44:52):
One of me when you're in my army, more than me. More.

Speaker 47 (45:00):
It's one hundred two five, It's one hundred six and seven.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
I'm on my way to help and.

Speaker 45 (45:08):
Make a hundred two one.

Speaker 47 (45:12):
One two three fourth time says eight times less thirty
times sete three first eighteen nine what first we used
to drink a course five projects first one for you
to drink report, first reacts yet nine first drink record time,

(45:32):
sext fast for eight one two great fourth five fives eight.

Speaker 22 (45:38):
N was once three.

Speaker 47 (45:40):
Futport five six first y nine one was you on
three or five per three fast time rate time was
one to three and I eighty nine past.

Speaker 45 (45:52):
You and three nine four five six first ye.

Speaker 12 (45:57):
Time, And now I'm prying to present to you again.

Speaker 15 (46:23):
One of the most distinguished American actors our guest of
Anna Walter Houston.

Speaker 24 (46:38):
Tonight, Walter Houston will play an old part in a
new play.

Speaker 37 (46:41):
A part, curiously enough, that he created years before the
play was written Right World by Arch Obler. The scene
is an orphan's picnic in a public park.

Speaker 24 (46:53):
The warmare sings with the happy voices of children on
a long waited holiday, but all the children are not
at play. One small boy sits huddled on the grass,
far apart from the others. Another small boy approaches him
and hesitantly speaks to him.

Speaker 13 (47:08):
Well, Ted, what do you want? Well, I thought, Well,
the fellas thought, and maybe I come over and be
with us. We're having lots of fun.

Speaker 30 (47:16):
I don't wanna, oh, but Ted, everybody's having so much fun.

Speaker 12 (47:20):
Well, the games are playing.

Speaker 30 (47:21):
Even you could well, well, I mean you could let
me alone.

Speaker 31 (47:25):
Oh gosh did?

Speaker 30 (47:26):
Everybody says, if you only start laughing again, you'll feel
leave me alone? I said, I don't want to laugh.
I don't want nothing but alone? Go on, beat it?

Speaker 13 (47:37):
Okay, Ted, if that's what you want.

Speaker 41 (47:40):
Wait, why don't you want to laugh?

Speaker 28 (47:43):
Boy?

Speaker 33 (47:45):
Huh?

Speaker 41 (47:47):
I said, why don't you want to laugh?

Speaker 30 (47:50):
What's it to you?

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Well?

Speaker 14 (47:52):
I couldn't help over hearing the other boy? And it
seems so strange that a boy shouldn't want to laugh.

Speaker 28 (47:57):
Let me alone?

Speaker 11 (47:59):
But why not talk with me?

Speaker 14 (48:01):
It's good to talk sometimes with someone strange to you? Now,
please tell me, boy, why don't you want to laugh?

Speaker 30 (48:11):
To laugh about the city?

Speaker 22 (48:13):
Bore?

Speaker 12 (48:13):
Why not?

Speaker 14 (48:15):
The sun still laughs, the water laps, there's jokes and
games and fun.

Speaker 12 (48:22):
The world is full of laughter. You listen?

Speaker 33 (48:25):
Not for me?

Speaker 12 (48:26):
But why?

Speaker 33 (48:27):
Why? Why?

Speaker 30 (48:28):
Because I'm blind? Say mine line?

Speaker 11 (48:34):
I knew that.

Speaker 30 (48:37):
Would you have to bother me for?

Speaker 41 (48:40):
Tell me?

Speaker 22 (48:40):
Boy?

Speaker 41 (48:42):
When did it happen?

Speaker 33 (48:43):
Was it?

Speaker 22 (48:44):
You lie?

Speaker 41 (48:45):
Independence day? It's a strange diffinity that shapes our nies.

Speaker 30 (48:52):
What'd you say?

Speaker 41 (48:53):
It doesn't matter?

Speaker 14 (48:54):
But what does matter to me is what you've done
with all those days since you've closed your eyes?

Speaker 30 (49:00):
I sit and wait you wait.

Speaker 12 (49:04):
For what?

Speaker 42 (49:05):
For?

Speaker 22 (49:05):
Nothing?

Speaker 12 (49:08):
Mind?

Speaker 41 (49:09):
If I talk to you a little longer?

Speaker 6 (49:12):
Talking?

Speaker 30 (49:12):
What good's talking?

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Yes?

Speaker 33 (49:16):
I know?

Speaker 14 (49:17):
Ever since it happened. The good folks at the parsonage have.
They've tried to cheer you up with words. Words are empty,
aunty when you sit in darkness. Yeah, yet, if you listen,
perhaps I can tell your words you never heard, words
that will make you want to laugh again.

Speaker 30 (49:39):
Say y'all, never laugh again.

Speaker 12 (49:41):
And you think you'll never see again?

Speaker 30 (49:45):
Never, they told me.

Speaker 33 (49:46):
Never.

Speaker 12 (49:47):
Yet you will.

Speaker 14 (49:48):
You'll see more clearly than you ever saw before. Oh see, yes,
but not with eyes with heart.

Speaker 6 (50:00):
I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 14 (50:02):
When boys and men see with their eyes, they just
see as far as their eyes can see, a little
world of kites and sleds and making money. But mind
and hot is far more real, far more wonderful.

Speaker 30 (50:17):
But how how can I see? It's all so terrible dark?

Speaker 33 (50:23):
Now?

Speaker 14 (50:23):
Think of the ship, a great black pirate ship. The
sails are white against the sky of blue. Think of it, boy,
think think high.

Speaker 30 (50:36):
Yes, yes, I'll try.

Speaker 12 (50:38):
The ship is bounding.

Speaker 14 (50:39):
High against green waves that throw it here and there,
A great black ship with sails of white.

Speaker 12 (50:46):
You see it, son, You must see it. Yes, yes,
I see it.

Speaker 33 (50:53):
I see it now, that ship.

Speaker 14 (50:54):
That's there inside your mind as a ship I never
saw in life. I read about it the book when
I was just about as old as you are now.
And yet I see it, and you see.

Speaker 12 (51:05):
It just from words.

Speaker 14 (51:09):
Yes, yes, far better than if we saw with wide
open eyes.

Speaker 12 (51:14):
Do you understand?

Speaker 1 (51:16):
I think I do?

Speaker 30 (51:19):
Yes, I do.

Speaker 41 (51:20):
Ah, that's fine, boy, that's fine.

Speaker 14 (51:23):
Now you have a wonderful world of books, and yet
not books, but living things. You see them in your mind.
They live, they'll breathe, they'll be.

Speaker 41 (51:35):
No no, wait boy, why do you turn your face away?

Speaker 30 (51:39):
But but I'll never be able to do anything.

Speaker 11 (51:44):
Oh, yes you will, Yes, you will. You'll find new
things to do.

Speaker 30 (51:50):
But but I can hardly warm. I'm run into things
fool so darkness.

Speaker 12 (51:58):
Yes, but now that you know, the darkness really isn't there.

Speaker 14 (52:01):
It's just a great white canvas on which to paint
the pictures that the words of books.

Speaker 11 (52:06):
And friends will bring you.

Speaker 12 (52:08):
And if there is no doc why be afraid?

Speaker 30 (52:11):
Boy?

Speaker 12 (52:12):
Why be afraid?

Speaker 30 (52:14):
I I'm not afraid. No one' not afraid.

Speaker 11 (52:19):
And being unafraid, you'll try to do things, won't you, boy?

Speaker 30 (52:23):
Yes, yes I will, Yes, I know you will.

Speaker 12 (52:27):
You'll never be afraid again.

Speaker 14 (52:28):
Boy, You'll live with goodness and with courage, and you'll
make the world a better place.

Speaker 12 (52:34):
Because of your life in.

Speaker 22 (52:35):
It, will him?

Speaker 31 (52:36):
Mister, Now you see why you can laugh?

Speaker 12 (52:41):
Boy?

Speaker 14 (52:42):
But you thought you've nothing left, And yet you've got
the whole world of air and sun and rain to feel,
a world of all the great minds left to understand,
a world of friends to love and share.

Speaker 33 (52:54):
Life with you.

Speaker 30 (52:55):
Gee, I've got so much less have I?

Speaker 33 (52:58):
So come on, boy, up.

Speaker 12 (53:02):
Lift your face and laugh. The joke's on you. You've
got the world laugh, I tell you.

Speaker 22 (53:10):
Laugh.

Speaker 30 (53:15):
Yeah, Yes, it's good to laugh.

Speaker 22 (53:27):
They'll be all right.

Speaker 30 (53:29):
Yeah, I'm all right.

Speaker 6 (53:31):
Why you're laughing?

Speaker 48 (53:32):
Why him?

Speaker 30 (53:34):
Ask him?

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Him?

Speaker 30 (53:36):
Yeah, he showed me how to laugh again.

Speaker 33 (53:38):
He did it, he did.

Speaker 12 (53:41):
Who are you talking about this?

Speaker 6 (53:42):
Man?

Speaker 33 (53:42):
Here?

Speaker 30 (53:43):
Don't want to stand next to me?

Speaker 33 (53:45):
Man?

Speaker 27 (53:46):
Yes, here, here, here, right next to me.

Speaker 49 (53:49):
Gosh, Tennis, nobody here, nobody but that statue of Abraham Lincoln.

Speaker 15 (54:05):
Yes, it was an all part and a new play
for Walder Houston will be remembered, perhaps best of all,
in the character of Abraham Lincoln.

Speaker 14 (54:13):
There's a real reason for honoring Lincoln tonight, a double reason.
This is the beginning of Thanksgiving week, and Abraham Lincoln
is the father of Thanksgiving. He proclaimed Thanksgiving Day as
a national holiday in eighteen sixty three. But there's another
reason too for remembering Lincoln at this time. Just seventy

(54:34):
six years ago this week, on the battlefield of Gettysburg,
some great and resounding.

Speaker 12 (54:39):
Speeches were made.

Speaker 14 (54:42):
When they were all done, a tall and lonely man
stood up and said a few words that were scarcely heard.

Speaker 11 (54:49):
Some men today say that he.

Speaker 14 (54:51):
Wasn't speaking to the people who stood in the battlefield
of Gettysburg, but to us the living, the Americans that
lived today, the Americans that will live always. And as
long as his words remain in the hearts of men,
there will be democracy and freedom. Words to remember. Four

(55:17):
score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on
this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated
to the proposition that.

Speaker 41 (55:28):
All men are created equal.

Speaker 14 (55:32):
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing
whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so
dedicated and long endure. We are met on a great
battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate the
portion of that field as a final resting place or

(55:55):
those who here gave their lives that.

Speaker 12 (55:57):
That nation might live.

Speaker 31 (56:01):
It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

Speaker 14 (56:05):
But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, We cannot consecrate,
We cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and
dead who struggle here have consecrated it far above.

Speaker 11 (56:20):
Our poor power to add or detract.

Speaker 14 (56:25):
The world will little note no long remember what we
say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
It is for us, the living, rather to be dedicated
here to the unfinished work which they who fought here
have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for

(56:46):
us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining
before us, that from these honored dead we take increased
devotion to that cause for which they gave the last
full measure of devotion.

Speaker 11 (57:01):
That we hear highly resolved that these dead shall.

Speaker 14 (57:06):
Not have died in vain, that this nation under God
shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government
of the people, by the people, all the people, shall
not perish from the earth.

Speaker 15 (57:45):
And now from eighteen sixty three back to nineteen thirty nine,
Connie Boswell sings one of this season's hit ballads, and
it's from the New Rogers and Hart musical comedy Too
Many Girls, and It's called I didn't know what time it.

Speaker 32 (57:58):
Was, Oh, didn't know what time it was?

Speaker 13 (58:18):
Then I met you.

Speaker 33 (58:24):
All?

Speaker 32 (58:25):
What a lovely time it was?

Speaker 22 (58:30):
How the blim it was too?

Speaker 32 (58:38):
Didn't know what day it was?

Speaker 22 (58:42):
You held my hand, waw like the one called me
it was, and I'll say it was.

Speaker 36 (59:00):
Try to be alive, to be young, to be met,
to be old alone? Why to see your favor, hear
your touch, hear your voice?

Speaker 32 (59:19):
Faith?

Speaker 22 (59:21):
I'm all your.

Speaker 32 (59:27):
Didn't know what year it was?

Speaker 27 (59:32):
Why was nor.

Speaker 22 (59:39):
In wanted law? And here it was mining all of your.

Speaker 25 (59:50):
Ah?

Speaker 33 (59:55):
And I know.

Speaker 22 (59:57):
What time is?

Speaker 26 (01:00:15):
You'll belied to be young, to be mad, to be old?

Speaker 33 (01:00:27):
Do you see your face?

Speaker 27 (01:00:29):
You we touched her, boy say, I'm.

Speaker 32 (01:00:34):
All didn't know what year it was?

Speaker 27 (01:00:48):
LI was no di, I wanted lost and here it was.

Speaker 30 (01:01:00):
Shining model, all.

Speaker 22 (01:01:09):
Warm and fine a.

Speaker 26 (01:01:15):
Time.

Speaker 15 (01:01:35):
And here's warn Howell, who has introduced many of you
to Maxwell House Coffee with some very sound advice for
those who have not yet discovered it.

Speaker 12 (01:01:42):
Thanks Eddie.

Speaker 37 (01:01:43):
Remember, with Maxwell House, you're getting coffee that's not just
days fresh, but roaster fresh, and no coffee can be
fresher than that.

Speaker 15 (01:01:58):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, last week we presented a football
sketch because football was in the air. Tonight our whole
cast will present another one, but it won't be about football.
I suppose all of you think we're not going to
do it Thanksgiving Day sketch, huh, because you've heard so
many already.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
But you're wrong.

Speaker 15 (01:02:15):
It's entitled Here Come the Pilgrims ninety nine and forty
four hundreds percent Puritan. However, it doesn't float, does it sink?
Now you're getting warm, deacon. It's the year sixteen twenty.
The folks have just got off the Mayflower and they're
milling around on the edge of the American continent.

Speaker 46 (01:02:33):
Well, here we are, at last, we're here. Yes, indeed,
we're really here by this time, folks, you know they're here.
And I'll get on with the story.

Speaker 30 (01:02:41):
What is it, sirs, sing all the dish. It's not
toward it.

Speaker 12 (01:02:45):
That's plim athruck.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
I want it, you can't have it.

Speaker 46 (01:02:48):
Why that pesky kid will be the death of a ship.
Yesterday I caught her boring holes in the Mayflower.

Speaker 31 (01:02:56):
I'll give it to you, lady, I say, do any
of you pilgrims.

Speaker 12 (01:02:59):
Know where we are. This is Massachusetts?

Speaker 31 (01:03:01):
Brother, what Massachusetts?

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
Tonight?

Speaker 11 (01:03:07):
Leave me alone?

Speaker 31 (01:03:08):
Going and go and find a pumpkin pie. It's Thanksgiving,
you the day you love me?

Speaker 34 (01:03:13):
Man say they're back with.

Speaker 12 (01:03:15):
All good Heaven's Indians.

Speaker 29 (01:03:18):
The Indians are coming.

Speaker 12 (01:03:19):
Let's put up the collapse of a port.

Speaker 31 (01:03:23):
Make for that port with all these counts, A play
the game.

Speaker 14 (01:03:31):
All finish, Captain, We're safe. Oh savage will never penetrate this.
Here's robbut fort Wait a minute, captain, what if the
Indians blockade the stockade? Jupess, I never thought of that.

Speaker 31 (01:03:44):
We already have a shortage of food, yes, and was
a shortage of water?

Speaker 29 (01:03:47):
Are all the women save? Yep?

Speaker 31 (01:03:49):
I'm here, Holy Pope, were short a woman too? Hey, captain,
look out, here comes the lookout Warren Hall, the people's choice.

Speaker 29 (01:04:01):
I'm supposed to be an Indian, but I couldn't resist it.

Speaker 39 (01:04:04):
So long.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
The Indians the.

Speaker 12 (01:04:08):
Unions have keeped back.

Speaker 29 (01:04:09):
Missus Stafford's litt daughter snooks.

Speaker 12 (01:04:11):
Oh no, no, we must rescue the child. I'll call
for volunteers.

Speaker 29 (01:04:13):
I'll go, I'll go.

Speaker 12 (01:04:15):
I'll go too.

Speaker 29 (01:04:15):
How about you, daddy?

Speaker 31 (01:04:17):
I can't understand how Northwestern could lose inhuman beasts. You
won't help rescue your own daughter? Have you no pity
only to the Indians? Wait till they've had it for
half an hour. Where's the lookout here? Yeah, take a
peep take a peep hole and tell the people watching.
The people make it snipping back.

Speaker 29 (01:04:38):
I'm pipping Tom, tell us the worst look out.

Speaker 12 (01:04:43):
The Unions are coming back and they're bringing snooks with them.

Speaker 31 (01:04:45):
That's the worst. They're waving a flag of truce.

Speaker 12 (01:04:49):
Stafford, you go out there and make a poll.

Speaker 31 (01:04:51):
Okay, Captain piece at Enny Price, open the door carefully,
but as soon as I'm outside, shut it quick.

Speaker 12 (01:05:02):
Hey, what happened to the collapsible? Four ms collapsed? Let's
listen to the poly hoday?

Speaker 33 (01:05:11):
Who would I?

Speaker 6 (01:05:12):
Lordy?

Speaker 31 (01:05:13):
I why snow Snoke snickle? That Indian's papacy. He'll scalp you.

Speaker 39 (01:05:20):
No, I won't.

Speaker 31 (01:05:22):
Well, I don't know how to talk to this. Mother
wants you too. Oh, oh, excuse me? You know his
name Snokes?

Speaker 12 (01:05:33):
Are you sure?

Speaker 41 (01:05:34):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
What is it?

Speaker 31 (01:05:38):
He's trying to say something?

Speaker 12 (01:05:39):
Snokes?

Speaker 31 (01:05:40):
What online?

Speaker 33 (01:05:41):
Jeef?

Speaker 12 (01:05:42):
We want him only piece?

Speaker 33 (01:05:44):
Oh?

Speaker 29 (01:05:45):
Why talk?

Speaker 30 (01:05:50):
Oh?

Speaker 29 (01:05:50):
Don't argue with him?

Speaker 12 (01:05:51):
Snookes.

Speaker 31 (01:05:52):
I listen, brother, we only came here to start a
little subdivision. Make a few dollars.

Speaker 12 (01:05:57):
Why don't you call off the tribe.

Speaker 31 (01:05:58):
We'll all celebrate. Thanks, give me, oh play knee velly, friendly.

Speaker 50 (01:06:04):
Daddy.

Speaker 12 (01:06:05):
Oh you have show.

Speaker 29 (01:06:06):
I got'sh turkey? You want them celeblate?

Speaker 12 (01:06:09):
Sure, you've got a hurry up and we'll you've been
doing great. Next, the Surks.

Speaker 31 (01:06:14):
We made peace with the Indians and we're going to
have a turkey dinner. Call everybody together, right, come on, yes,
all right, now, everybody's squat down Indian fashion in honor
of Chief Toto. We're going to divide the turkey in
the traditional manner of the Black Beach tribe.

Speaker 30 (01:06:31):
You mean a black foot, daddy.

Speaker 31 (01:06:33):
No, the turkey's to be divided according to whether people
come from. Oh good, good, Captain Houston, where are you from?

Speaker 46 (01:06:40):
I'm from the north, and as you get the neck,
I'm a Westerner, all right, sir, So you get the
west wing.

Speaker 31 (01:06:47):
I'm from thee so I'll take the east wings. Connie,
where are you from?

Speaker 30 (01:06:51):
I'm from the South and I don't like turkeys.

Speaker 31 (01:06:57):
Oh peace, kill them all.

Speaker 33 (01:06:59):
Pay Oh.

Speaker 31 (01:07:02):
Connie, you has tuthered him. He'll have us all scout, eh.
He's mad at Connie nine Stokes. If you have anything
to do with this, hah, what did you do?

Speaker 30 (01:07:12):
Jacob had water plans doing.

Speaker 15 (01:07:30):
Nine weeks ago, when Meredith Wilson began the present Concert
Hall series, he hoped that American composers were capable of
writing the kind of beautiful music that men of all
nations would remember and love always.

Speaker 12 (01:07:40):
Now Meredith believes more than ever that they can.

Speaker 15 (01:07:44):
The music of four fine American composers, all of the
men has been acclaimed with great enthusiasm in the past
four weeks. Tonight's composer is a woman, the celebrated Dana Swees,
whose American Nocturne, written especially for this series, will now
be given as world premiere. All right, Meredith, Miss Damous
Wiss American actor. That's beautiful, Meredith, all of us here

(01:12:01):
at the concert Hall join in sending our compliments to
Miss Dinner Suisse for her American Nocturne. Next week, Meredith
will introduce the sixth of our new American compositions, a
song without Words by Vernon Duke and our Meredith Wilson
has another commission to make for the Concert Hall series
an American Barker role. Whom have you selected to write
in Meredith.

Speaker 25 (01:12:21):
Everyone knows him Eddie, among many other things. He's famous
for this beautiful composition. Of course, it's Harry Warren, one
of our best, loved and finest popular composers. I hereby
commission you, Harry Warren, to write an American Barker role

(01:12:42):
to be introduced on Good News Soon.

Speaker 29 (01:12:44):
Good luck to you, Harry, and we all know you'll
do a fine job.

Speaker 15 (01:12:52):
I don't like to be too optimistic, ladies and gentlemen,
but next week looks.

Speaker 12 (01:12:56):
Like a very fine program. In addition to Fanny Bryce.

Speaker 15 (01:12:59):
His baby snow since her daddy, Henley Stafford, Connie Boswell,
Meredith Wilson and his orchestra, we have as our special
guest one of my favorite comedians, Lou Holtz, and of
course I'll be tagging along too. So this is Edward Donald,
hoping to see you again next week and bidding you
now good night.

Speaker 24 (01:13:31):
Listen marn Howell reminding you that the easy to follow
directions for making Maxwell House coffee are printed right on
the can. By following them, you're sure to get the
full flavor and Goodness of Maxwell House in the most
economical way. And now good night and good luck from
the makers at Maxwell House. The coffee that's now more
than ever good to the last round.

Speaker 12 (01:13:56):
This is the Maxwell Brock Company.

Speaker 4 (01:14:00):
That was a fun hour, wasn't it? Edward Arnold Good
News of nineteen forty Thursday Night at eight o'clock on
NBC November twenty third, nineteen thirty nine, eighty six years ago.
Today variety shows could be a lot of fun. Alrighty
that gets us through the first hour of the podcast.

(01:14:23):
Here let me tell you that on our Sunday program,
a Monday program, I should say we'll go back a
year to nineteen thirty eight for the Good News of
nineteen forty nine, the Thanksgiving Show, and it beatures the
Andy Hardy movie cast that will be fun, along with
an episode of Sam Spade starring Stephen Dunn give me

(01:14:46):
a break. I know I've said my piece about Stephen
Dunn as Sam Spade the Terrified Turkey Caper, but it'll
be fun. And then an episode of Points Sublime starring
Cliff Arquette and Mel bl from nineteen forty seven that'll
be coming up tomorrow Tuesday. More Thanksgiving Stuff with the

(01:15:06):
Abbot and Costello, the Hallmark Playhouse production of Freeland starring
Martha Scott and Jack Kirkwood, both shows from nineteen forty eight,
and a new Edgar Bergen hour program from nineteen fifty five.
Now on Wednesday, we will have Father Knows Best, Thanksgiving
Day at the Anderson's, Jimmy Duranty as Arthur Treacher tries

(01:15:29):
to rapple up Jimmy's turkey, Uncle Dennis visits Spibber and Molly,
and Thanksgiving at Mary Livingston's House with a nineteen forty
four edition of The Jack Benny Show. On Thursday, Thanksgiving Day,
we're going to have a single Thanksgiving show and that's
Casey Crime Photographer from nineteen forty seven. The rest of

(01:15:51):
the podcast, and we're going to run a little along,
I know we are, because we're going to have shows
from the final day of Old Time radio in Hollywood
from nineteen sixty as production leaves Hollywood for New York City,
Suspense from that Sunday, which is the only show still

(01:16:15):
come with the first show moved to New York, but
then the final shows from the New York era Hollywood
era of yours truly Johnny Dollar, the final performance of
Bob Bailey as Dollar, and the final episodes of Havegun
Will Travel and Gun Smoke and Havegun Will Travel actually
had something that the TV show didn't have, which was

(01:16:37):
an ending, and so you'll hear that on Thursday. On
Friday we'll move on as we'll have an episode of
the Lux Radio Theater from nineteen forty nine, Key Largo
starring Edward g. Robinson, The Adventures of Sam Spade, and
this one this is with the real Sam Spade, if

(01:16:58):
you will Howard Duff. Also Theater of Romance. That'll all
be coming up on Friday. Saturday, we'll get back to
Westerns with episodes of The six Shooter, Gunsmoke, Havegun Will Travel,
and yes, a Western episode of Jack Benny as Buck
Benny rides again. A week from today will be comedy

(01:17:21):
with Harold Perry, is the Great Gildersleeve, Ozzy and Harriet,
Phil Harris, Alice Faye as we find out about Phill's hobby,
and another episode of the Aldridge Family. That's all coming
up a week from today here on Classic Radio Theater
with Wyattcox. Visit our web page at Classic Radio Dot stream.

(01:17:42):
Speaking of Howard Duff. We'll hear from him in a moment,
and then we'll check in with the Aldridge family.

Speaker 2 (01:17:54):
Civil defense is common sense.

Speaker 51 (01:17:56):
This is Howard enough with this reminder six twelve forty,
These are the connor Rad frequencies during a national emergency.
Six forty and twelve forty on your regular radio would
be your only official means of receiving vital information. Remember
six forty and twelve forty.

Speaker 4 (01:18:12):
Red channels was full of it. No, really, because you
can't have somebody like Howard Duff being ribbed in Red
channels and get him ending up losing his work for
years and years. Anyway, up next to Bobby ellis the
Aldrich Family. This episode goes back seventy three years to

(01:18:34):
November twenty third, nineteen fifty two. Shortages were still an issue,
trying to find the turkeys for Thanksgiving, and that's what
this episode of the Aldrich Family is all about.

Speaker 8 (01:18:52):
He Henry over.

Speaker 52 (01:18:55):
It coming mother, Yes, it's the Aldridge Family is transcribed
written by Clifford Goldsmith. One seventeen Elm Street in Centerville

(01:19:20):
is a house like many other houses, and it might
be a very Solomon.

Speaker 9 (01:19:24):
State place if there weren't a boy in it, and
when that boy is a.

Speaker 52 (01:19:28):
Typical teenager like Henry Aldridge, Well, it's a place where
unexpected things are always happening.

Speaker 9 (01:19:35):
The scene opens in one of Centerville's grocery stores. The
time is afternoon.

Speaker 5 (01:19:40):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, mother. This is Henry, Henry, Henry Aldridge,
your son.

Speaker 33 (01:19:46):
Oh?

Speaker 39 (01:19:47):
Is everything all right here? Are you all through at
the store?

Speaker 5 (01:19:50):
Practically?

Speaker 49 (01:19:50):
I just wanted to tell you though, they're all out
of Min's meet and I've been to two other stores.

Speaker 39 (01:19:55):
What's that? They don't have any mince meat at all?

Speaker 49 (01:19:57):
No, mister Preston said people shouldn't let their shop go
till the day before Thanksgiving.

Speaker 39 (01:20:01):
He said that, Dear, I don't care what he said.

Speaker 50 (01:20:04):
It's going to be a blow to your father, but
I guess he'll have to be satisfied with pumpkin pie.

Speaker 42 (01:20:09):
I know.

Speaker 5 (01:20:09):
But they don't have any pumpkins either.

Speaker 39 (01:20:11):
Do they have any can pumpkin?

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:20:14):
Can pumpkin?

Speaker 39 (01:20:15):
And Henry, have you picked up the turkey?

Speaker 5 (01:20:17):
No, not yet. I haven't been over to that side
of the store.

Speaker 50 (01:20:19):
Well, there you go over there, just as soon as
you hang up and tell mister McGill you want the
turkey I ordered.

Speaker 39 (01:20:24):
Three weeks ago.

Speaker 5 (01:20:25):
Yes, mother, only, how about sage?

Speaker 6 (01:20:28):
What about it?

Speaker 16 (01:20:29):
Hey, Henry, what do you want Homer? When you get
through with that phone? I wanted, what's that?

Speaker 39 (01:20:32):
Henry?

Speaker 9 (01:20:34):
Mother?

Speaker 5 (01:20:34):
I said, what shall I do about sage? They're all
out of it, Henry.

Speaker 39 (01:20:37):
They can't be.

Speaker 5 (01:20:38):
Mister Preston said, it's account of the late shopping.

Speaker 50 (01:20:41):
Well, dear you ask mister Preston whether he can't fix
up missus Aldrich with just a little sage for her
Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaker 39 (01:20:47):
I'm sure he has some put away someway.

Speaker 16 (01:20:50):
Listen, Henry, why don't I use that phone you with Homer?

Speaker 5 (01:20:52):
Can't you see I'm talking to my mother?

Speaker 39 (01:20:54):
What's that?

Speaker 33 (01:20:55):
Henry?

Speaker 5 (01:20:55):
Nothing? Mother, I'm just talking to Homer.

Speaker 39 (01:20:57):
Henry, you aren't fooling around down there with Homer?

Speaker 16 (01:20:59):
On what's that?

Speaker 39 (01:21:01):
It sounds to me like you haven't done any of
the shopping I sent.

Speaker 12 (01:21:04):
You to do.

Speaker 5 (01:21:05):
Well, I'm doing the best I can, mother, Gee, wiz,
all I've got is two pair of hands.

Speaker 16 (01:21:08):
Listen, Henry, I've got to use that phone.

Speaker 39 (01:21:10):
Well, please hurry there and don't waste any time with Homer.

Speaker 49 (01:21:13):
Good mother, bye, goodbye boy, Henry it's about times she
was home.

Speaker 5 (01:21:18):
You have to push a guy right out of the booth.

Speaker 16 (01:21:20):
Don't speak to me, don't say a word. Trying to
remember five different things to tell my mother.

Speaker 5 (01:21:24):
I gotta get some saves.

Speaker 16 (01:21:26):
Number please, squash chestnuts, cinnamon? Number, please cinnamon. I mean
I've operated, and just make it Plaine two three two
without the cinnamon.

Speaker 39 (01:21:34):
May I have your number?

Speaker 48 (01:21:35):
Please?

Speaker 16 (01:21:36):
I told you two three two, elm.

Speaker 39 (01:21:38):
Elm two three two.

Speaker 53 (01:21:40):
Gee whiz, Now I've forgotten a whole Thanksgiving dinner. Squash chestnuts, cinnamon?
Oh boy, squash chestnuts, cinnamon. No, listen, mother, what came
after cinnamon?

Speaker 39 (01:21:52):
What's there? Who did you want?

Speaker 16 (01:21:55):
Isn't this my mother?

Speaker 43 (01:21:56):
Well, yes, Homer, it is, and you got everything broad
in it only on your.

Speaker 16 (01:22:00):
List that they've got his breadcrumbs and cleaning powder.

Speaker 43 (01:22:03):
Well did you get him?

Speaker 33 (01:22:04):
Yes?

Speaker 16 (01:22:04):
But it isn't much of a Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaker 22 (01:22:06):
What's that?

Speaker 8 (01:22:07):
Oh boy?

Speaker 16 (01:22:08):
Cranberries? I just happen to remember. Cranberries, That's what came
after cinnamon.

Speaker 39 (01:22:13):
What about them?

Speaker 16 (01:22:14):
I can't get any?

Speaker 43 (01:22:15):
Oh now home, they must have at least a few cranberries.

Speaker 16 (01:22:18):
No they haven't. Henry Alder's got the last half pounds.

Speaker 39 (01:22:21):
What's that?

Speaker 43 (01:22:22):
Oh home, you want wasting your afternoon?

Speaker 16 (01:22:24):
Henry Orris, are you no only gee whiz? He bought
the last cranberries.

Speaker 43 (01:22:28):
Well, dear, I don't see how he can have turkey
without cranberries.

Speaker 16 (01:22:31):
Well you don't have to worry, mother, I've got something
even better.

Speaker 43 (01:22:34):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 16 (01:22:35):
What'd you get ketch him?

Speaker 6 (01:22:38):
Catch you with?

Speaker 16 (01:22:40):
Well? I like it on anything, and so does father.
And it's red. If you're pour it on corn kernels,
it looks just like cranberries.

Speaker 43 (01:22:49):
Oh Home, did you tell mister you want our turkey?

Speaker 9 (01:22:52):
Well that's another thing.

Speaker 16 (01:22:53):
There's only one, but one is all we want. No,
I mean one turkey for everybody. And mister McGill isn't sure,
but he's pretty or missus Olivid reserved that.

Speaker 54 (01:23:01):
Now, dear, missus Orange didn't reserve that turkey anymore than
I did.

Speaker 43 (01:23:05):
I asked Christer McGill to put it aside from me
weeks ago.

Speaker 5 (01:23:08):
You did?

Speaker 33 (01:23:08):
Yes?

Speaker 49 (01:23:09):
Never right over and tell me, hey, Homer, I gotta
use that phone again just a minute.

Speaker 39 (01:23:12):
Henry Homer is Henry Olriche there?

Speaker 43 (01:23:16):
Yes, mother, Well he hasn't got hold of that turkey,
has he.

Speaker 16 (01:23:19):
Just a minute, Henry, what's in that big bag there?

Speaker 5 (01:23:22):
Squash?

Speaker 16 (01:23:22):
Now, hurry up, Homer, mother, it's all right, it's squash.

Speaker 43 (01:23:26):
Oh Homer, did you get any squash?

Speaker 16 (01:23:27):
Well, that's what I was going to tell you. They
don't have the kind you wanted. Look, shall I get
the kind?

Speaker 39 (01:23:32):
Henry, god die, get any kind?

Speaker 54 (01:23:34):
Just so long as your father has a good squash
when he sits down with this turkey.

Speaker 5 (01:23:40):
Okay, Homer, will ya let me have that phone?

Speaker 9 (01:23:43):
Okay?

Speaker 33 (01:23:43):
Here?

Speaker 25 (01:23:44):
Well?

Speaker 5 (01:23:44):
Thanks? Hello, Hello, listen, Homer, why are you handing me
your mother?

Speaker 16 (01:23:49):
We'll hang her up?

Speaker 31 (01:23:50):
What goodbye?

Speaker 33 (01:23:53):
Mother?

Speaker 32 (01:23:54):
Boy?

Speaker 16 (01:23:55):
Will I be glad when Thanksgiving is over?

Speaker 5 (01:23:57):
Homer? Will you please get your oranges and flower and
stuff out of this booze?

Speaker 16 (01:24:00):
I'm getting them out, Henry. Listen, when did you get
that squad?

Speaker 5 (01:24:03):
There aren't anymore.

Speaker 16 (01:24:04):
There aren't, Henry. I'm getting sick of you were taking
the last everything.

Speaker 6 (01:24:07):
In this place.

Speaker 49 (01:24:08):
Only you gotta keep your eyes open around here, number
please ELM three O three, ELM three O three, Just a.

Speaker 8 (01:24:14):
Minute, they're all rich. What's that or you got there
in your hand?

Speaker 5 (01:24:17):
Can of pumpkin? It was the last one on the counter.
I'll say it was.

Speaker 8 (01:24:20):
I've been looking all over for it for this, that's
part of missus bartlett'saw and no, I'll give it to me.

Speaker 5 (01:24:24):
Oh gee whiz, hello, hello mother? What do you think
just happened?

Speaker 39 (01:24:29):
What is it you want now?

Speaker 30 (01:24:31):
Well?

Speaker 5 (01:24:31):
I was going to ask whether one can of pumpkin
would be enough.

Speaker 39 (01:24:34):
Oh, I guess I could make a pie with one can.

Speaker 8 (01:24:37):
Mother.

Speaker 5 (01:24:37):
They just took it away from me. What the man said?
Missus Bartlet's saw it first?

Speaker 6 (01:24:42):
Here?

Speaker 50 (01:24:42):
Do you realize tomorrow it's Thanksgiving? It sounds to me
as though you aren't even trying.

Speaker 49 (01:24:47):
Mother, you'll be glad to hear I got a lot
of parsley parsley.

Speaker 5 (01:24:51):
There doesn't seem to be much of a demand for that.
I took six pounds, Henry.

Speaker 39 (01:24:57):
Do you have our turkey?

Speaker 33 (01:24:58):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:24:59):
Yeah, gee wiz, you say you have it?

Speaker 23 (01:25:01):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:25:01):
I mean I'm glad you reminded me.

Speaker 39 (01:25:03):
Well, you hurry right over to mister McGill and ask
him for.

Speaker 5 (01:25:06):
Yes, Mother, I'll go right away.

Speaker 8 (01:25:07):
Good bye, Hey buddy, Yes, sir, did you want me
and you took that can of pumpkin?

Speaker 5 (01:25:14):
Did you pick up a can of cinnamon? Toel cinnamon? No, sir,
I haven't even seen any cinnamon.

Speaker 8 (01:25:20):
Somebody took a can of cinnamon right out of missus
Partlett's order.

Speaker 5 (01:25:23):
Hey, Homer, quiet, Henry, is mister McGill here at the
meat counter.

Speaker 16 (01:25:26):
Yeah, he's in the back room wrapping that is, I
mean he's wrapping something up for me.

Speaker 5 (01:25:30):
Okay, I'll wait for him.

Speaker 16 (01:25:31):
Oh, he may be in there for quite a while, Henry,
Why waste time? Why don't you go over to the
other side of the store and do some more shopping.

Speaker 5 (01:25:38):
I finally got all mine done except for one thing.

Speaker 6 (01:25:40):
You sure?

Speaker 16 (01:25:42):
I mean, why don't you go over and get some cinnamon?

Speaker 5 (01:25:44):
They don't have any?

Speaker 16 (01:25:45):
Sure they have? I just got a can.

Speaker 49 (01:25:48):
All I have to buy is something right here from
mister McGill. Oh you do, sure, Hey, Homer, before I forget,
have you got your composition written for English?

Speaker 16 (01:25:56):
And jeez, we don't have to have it ready until Monday?

Speaker 49 (01:25:58):
I know, but I'm gonna do mine. Then I'll have
a free mind for the whole weekend. She was, what's
keeping mister McGill, I'm gonna go back there and look
for it.

Speaker 16 (01:26:06):
No, wait a minute, Henry, wait before Well, the composition
is supposed to be about what you did on Thanksgiving Day, Renal, Well,
how are you gonna write about what you did on
Thanksgiving Day on the day before it?

Speaker 5 (01:26:18):
Well, I'm gonna do Homer's eat. I'm gonna eat turkey
at noon, and then in the evening I'm gonna have
cold turkey, and just before I go to bed, I'm
gonna have some more turkey.

Speaker 8 (01:26:27):
Oh well, that's nice.

Speaker 16 (01:26:28):
Sounds like an interesting composition now than Homer.

Speaker 55 (01:26:31):
Here, you are very nice eighteen.

Speaker 16 (01:26:33):
Thank you, mister McGill, Thank you very much.

Speaker 5 (01:26:37):
Homer. You haven't told me what you're gonna do on
Thanksgiving Day, Homer? She was, Is he in a hurry?

Speaker 8 (01:26:43):
Now?

Speaker 9 (01:26:43):
Then, young man?

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
What can I do for you?

Speaker 22 (01:26:56):
Henry?

Speaker 56 (01:26:57):
Didn't you explain to mister McGill that he promised me
at turkey?

Speaker 5 (01:27:00):
Sure?

Speaker 49 (01:27:00):
Mother, And he said that he could definitely promise you
once when the day after tomorrow.

Speaker 50 (01:27:05):
Henry, I need a turkey for Thanksgiving, not the day
after and Homer took that turkey.

Speaker 56 (01:27:10):
Did you tell him he was really taking our Thanksgiving dinner?

Speaker 5 (01:27:13):
Mother? I didn't have a chance to. He just grabbed
it from right under my nose and.

Speaker 50 (01:27:16):
Ran and mister McGill said, Homer told him we didn't
want the turkey.

Speaker 49 (01:27:20):
Well, mister McGill's at Homer didn't actually say it, He
just implied that we didn't.

Speaker 50 (01:27:25):
Very well, Henry, here's what I want you to do.
You are to go over to the Browns and tell
Homer's mother.

Speaker 5 (01:27:30):
Exactly what happened and the man the turkey.

Speaker 50 (01:27:32):
You don't have to demand it, dear, If you just
explain things, I'm sure missus Brown will be only too
glad to give it to you.

Speaker 16 (01:27:38):
She will, yes, dear, and I'll start right.

Speaker 5 (01:27:40):
Away, yes, ma'am, and hurry right back with it.

Speaker 57 (01:27:42):
Yes, mother, Alice, Yes, Sam, Where did you just send
Henry over to.

Speaker 56 (01:27:47):
The Browns did to get that turkey?

Speaker 15 (01:27:49):
Ah?

Speaker 9 (01:27:49):
Wait a minute, Alice, dear, I'm sorry.

Speaker 56 (01:27:52):
It isn't there as it's ours and we have guests
coming for Alice.

Speaker 57 (01:27:55):
The Browns are all friends of ours. You can't do
a thing like that to them. God, it's Thanksgiving. Besides,
in all fairness, they have an equal right to that turkey. Now,
the sensible thing to do is whom are you calling?

Speaker 9 (01:28:07):
Number? Please tell them three nine to one nine one, Sam.

Speaker 56 (01:28:11):
You aren't inviting anyone else for dinner.

Speaker 9 (01:28:12):
Are you no, Alice, I'm calling the market.

Speaker 56 (01:28:14):
Dear, believe me, they don't have any more turkeys down there.

Speaker 9 (01:28:18):
Very well, we'll get something else.

Speaker 58 (01:28:20):
Oh he'll market, good afternoon.

Speaker 57 (01:28:21):
We'll good afternoon this, mister Olridge. Oh yes, sir, I'd
like to place an order with you, all right, Mistraorridge. No,
then I'd like a couple of real nice roasters roasting chickens,
say five.

Speaker 9 (01:28:31):
Or six pounds each.

Speaker 58 (01:28:33):
That, mister Ridge, where am I going to get?

Speaker 9 (01:28:35):
What's that?

Speaker 58 (01:28:35):
There isn't a chicken left on the plank?

Speaker 57 (01:28:37):
Oh well, then you'd better make it a couple of
good sized ducks. Personally, I like duck just as well
as turkey ducks.

Speaker 12 (01:28:45):
Mister Ridge.

Speaker 9 (01:28:46):
No ducks.

Speaker 57 (01:28:46):
Now wait a minute, you must have something Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

Speaker 8 (01:28:49):
I know, Mistroalridge, but it seems like everybody waited till
the last minute to do their shopping.

Speaker 58 (01:28:54):
My wife and I are having.

Speaker 9 (01:28:55):
Sam, we're having company for dinner.

Speaker 58 (01:28:59):
I'll tell you what I can, misterra or Dridge. How
would you like me to cut up a nice oxtail
for you?

Speaker 9 (01:29:05):
Ox tail?

Speaker 58 (01:29:06):
What for Thanksgiving? It is the same as chicken, but
it makes her dandy still and very nourishing.

Speaker 9 (01:29:12):
Yeah, yeah, well just skip the whole thing now.

Speaker 58 (01:29:15):
Will there be anything else with Straordridge?

Speaker 9 (01:29:17):
No, thank you, I guess you've got everything.

Speaker 12 (01:29:18):
Goodbye.

Speaker 9 (01:29:19):
Go on, Alice, which did you get, Sam? Chickens or ducks?

Speaker 57 (01:29:23):
I've been thinking it over, Alice, and it seems to
me you have a perfect right to demand that turkey
from the brown.

Speaker 56 (01:29:28):
And Dear, that's exactly what I told Henry to do.

Speaker 2 (01:29:31):
Good.

Speaker 57 (01:29:32):
But when Henry comes back with it, the thing to
do is to call the Browns and insist that they
come over here and have Thanksgiving with us.

Speaker 56 (01:29:38):
But Sam, that turkey isn't large enough for all of
their guests and our guests too.

Speaker 57 (01:29:42):
Oh well, that's too bad. I hate to see the
Browns go without the eye answers.

Speaker 50 (01:29:48):
Of course, if we serve plenty of muffins and yams,
we might be able to stretch it.

Speaker 9 (01:29:52):
Hello is the shoe father? Yes, Henry, where are you downtown? Well,
hurry on home. Don't dawdle with that turkey, father, i' dawdling.

Speaker 5 (01:29:59):
With the turkey.

Speaker 58 (01:30:01):
What they wouldn't give it to me?

Speaker 5 (01:30:03):
Mister Brown said, They've aughtn't paid for the turkey, and
that's all there was to it.

Speaker 9 (01:30:06):
Oh he did, Father.

Speaker 43 (01:30:08):
Isn't there any other place to get a turkey?

Speaker 57 (01:30:10):
I'm not interested in any other turkey. We're going to
have that one the Browns have, and we're going to
eat it tomorrow alone.

Speaker 9 (01:30:16):
They're not invited.

Speaker 39 (01:30:17):
Do you want me to go back and tell them?

Speaker 9 (01:30:19):
No, I'll take care of it.

Speaker 55 (01:30:20):
I'm going to go back to see Homer anyhow, Never.

Speaker 9 (01:30:22):
Mind that, Henry, you come right home, Henry, Yes, sir,
I'll be right there.

Speaker 57 (01:30:26):
Alice, yes, Sam, what's the matter. I have tried to
be patient, I have tried to be considerate. Now I
am going to do something. What here a let's take
this phone. I want you to call the Browns and
demand our turkey.

Speaker 8 (01:30:47):
Is that what she said? Elizabeth?

Speaker 48 (01:30:49):
Yes?

Speaker 54 (01:30:49):
Will Why In all the years I've known Alice Aldrich,
I've never heard you talk that way to anyone.

Speaker 8 (01:30:54):
All right, all right, if they want to make an
issue of the turkey, it's all right with me.

Speaker 6 (01:30:58):
Mother.

Speaker 16 (01:30:59):
I'll be back in a little oma.

Speaker 48 (01:31:00):
Where are you going?

Speaker 16 (01:31:01):
Just over to Henry's. It isn't so late, mother.

Speaker 6 (01:31:03):
Home.

Speaker 8 (01:31:04):
Let's get this straight. You're not to have anything to
do with Henry Aldridge. Not ever, not until we've eaten
that turkey. And if he wants to speak to you,
that's his loss.

Speaker 16 (01:31:15):
But look, I'm going to write a composition and I
need a little advice about Thanksgiving.

Speaker 8 (01:31:18):
Well, you won't get it over there. I don't think
the Ordridge is a celebrating Thanksgiving this year.

Speaker 45 (01:31:23):
Well, cad one of you answered that phone.

Speaker 8 (01:31:25):
Now, Elizabeth, don't touch it. It's probably Sam Auldridge calling
to pick a fight with me about that turkey.

Speaker 48 (01:31:31):
Well, now, will The least you can do is talk
to him.

Speaker 1 (01:31:34):
Even if he loses his temper, you don't have to lose.

Speaker 8 (01:31:36):
Yours, Elizabeth. I'm just going to sit here absolutely calm.

Speaker 22 (01:31:40):
Father.

Speaker 16 (01:31:41):
Would you be willing to help me with my composition?

Speaker 8 (01:31:43):
What's your problem?

Speaker 33 (01:31:44):
Well?

Speaker 16 (01:31:44):
I have to compare what the Pilgrims did on their
first Thanksgiving with what I did tomorrow.

Speaker 8 (01:31:48):
Well, for one thing, you can point it what you
did tomorrow? Yes, sir, what did you do tomorrow?

Speaker 5 (01:31:55):
What's that oma?

Speaker 8 (01:31:57):
What are we talking about?

Speaker 12 (01:31:58):
Well?

Speaker 54 (01:31:59):
I think you should lead go to the phone and
tell Sam you're not going to give him that turkey.

Speaker 8 (01:32:03):
He'll find out, son, and of Elizabeth, he'll find out.
He's found out already. Well, what's that?

Speaker 54 (01:32:11):
It's the front door, and I'm not going to sit
here and just hear bells ringing.

Speaker 8 (01:32:15):
I'll go to the door.

Speaker 6 (01:32:16):
I'm willing to do that and let me know who
it is.

Speaker 8 (01:32:18):
Same here, father, Hello there, Will, Well, well, Sam Ulrich
and you will that is? Won't you come in?

Speaker 23 (01:32:31):
No?

Speaker 9 (01:32:31):
Thanks?

Speaker 2 (01:32:31):
Will?

Speaker 5 (01:32:32):
Mister Brown is Homer here?

Speaker 57 (01:32:33):
Now, Henry, you stay right here on the steps where
you are. Don't bother the brow.

Speaker 8 (01:32:36):
Oh, Henry's no bother. Is there something I can do
for you?

Speaker 22 (01:32:40):
Sam?

Speaker 12 (01:32:41):
Will?

Speaker 57 (01:32:42):
I don't know what this is all about, but I
take it that Alice lost her temper when she phoned
your wife a few minutes ago, and that's between ourselves.

Speaker 9 (01:32:50):
Well, women have a tendency to exaggerate the importance of.

Speaker 8 (01:32:53):
Things, all right, Sam. I tried to reason with Elizabeth.
I'm afraid she went a little overboard herself.

Speaker 57 (01:33:00):
When you get right down to it, there isn't any
turkey in the world worth sacrificing our friendship over.

Speaker 8 (01:33:05):
No, No, of course not.

Speaker 59 (01:33:07):
Now.

Speaker 9 (01:33:07):
This will be the first to admit the same thing.

Speaker 8 (01:33:09):
That's just the way Elizabeth feels.

Speaker 57 (01:33:12):
So I just wanted to tell you to enjoy the
turkey and have a fine Thanksgiving.

Speaker 8 (01:33:17):
Now wait a second, Sam, The fact is I was
just going to start for your house with that turkey.

Speaker 9 (01:33:22):
No, no, well, no, no, just forget the whole thing.

Speaker 49 (01:33:24):
No, Sam, I mean it, she whiz fathers mister Brown
really going to give us the turkey?

Speaker 12 (01:33:31):
Henry?

Speaker 9 (01:33:32):
If he brings the turkey out here, we're not going
to take it.

Speaker 16 (01:33:35):
Why not?

Speaker 9 (01:33:36):
Don't you think I have any pride? I never got
down on my knees for a turkey before, and then
here you are.

Speaker 8 (01:33:41):
Sam, It's all wrapped and everything.

Speaker 9 (01:33:42):
No, no, we'll no, no, no, Well.

Speaker 6 (01:33:46):
Be quiet, Elizabeth.

Speaker 12 (01:33:47):
Sam, Oh no, I.

Speaker 9 (01:33:50):
Wouldn't think of it. You keep it and have a
nice dinner tomorrow.

Speaker 8 (01:33:53):
Now, Sam, there's no use in your going down those
steps without this here. Henry, you take it, shall I?

Speaker 9 (01:33:58):
Father? No, Henry, Come on, Sam, no use following us.
Will get your turkey?

Speaker 55 (01:34:05):
No, Sam, it's yours.

Speaker 8 (01:34:07):
I'm putting it right here on the front walk.

Speaker 9 (01:34:11):
All right, will if you want to leave it there,
it's all right with me.

Speaker 45 (01:34:15):
There it is on the sidewalk.

Speaker 6 (01:34:16):
Sam.

Speaker 55 (01:34:17):
I'm going back in the house.

Speaker 9 (01:34:19):
And Henry and I are going down the street.

Speaker 6 (01:34:21):
Father.

Speaker 5 (01:34:21):
He fathers, look at those three dogs coming.

Speaker 6 (01:34:26):
Shout us.

Speaker 5 (01:34:27):
Look and one of them took it and watch Sam,
he took it to come back here.

Speaker 9 (01:34:34):
Well, Will, that was certainly a foolish thing for you
to do.

Speaker 6 (01:34:38):
What do you mean for me to do?

Speaker 20 (01:34:40):
What did you leave it there?

Speaker 23 (01:34:41):
For?

Speaker 9 (01:34:41):
I left and I left it? You put it down
there yourself?

Speaker 8 (01:34:44):
Well, why didn't you pick it up?

Speaker 9 (01:34:45):
Why should I? Your turkey?

Speaker 12 (01:34:46):
Will?

Speaker 9 (01:34:47):
If you want it, you go get it. Come on, Henry,
we've got other things to do.

Speaker 55 (01:34:50):
But she whizzed, father, Well.

Speaker 8 (01:34:51):
All I've all as a matter of father, Come on,
ho man, We've got to chase a dog.

Speaker 16 (01:34:59):
A dog for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 52 (01:35:12):
We'll return to the Aldridge family in just a moment. Now,
I don't know how it's going to turn out, but
it's once sure. Bet that Tonight's Phil Harris Alice Fay
Show will deliver a full half hour's worth of family comedy.
And right after The Harris Fay Show on most of
these NBC stations, Theodore Guild on the Air will bring
you Basil Rathbone, Alan Webb and Margaret Phillips in the

(01:35:33):
radio version of the Broadway hit The Winslow Boy and
then there's adventure with a pair of NBC programs, as
Jack Webb stars in this week's Dragnet story from the
files of the Los Angeles Police Force, while William Gargan
will be on hand in the title role of Barry
Craig Confidential Investigator. So stay tuned to this NBC station

(01:35:55):
and listen for the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show, Theatre
Guild on the Air, and Barry Craig Confidential Investigative. Now
getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldridge, the Browns

(01:36:17):
have somehow got a turkey from the meat market that
had been reserved for missus Aldridge. And then while mister
Aldrich and mister Brown were each trying to outdo the
other with politeness over the bird, a stray dog ran
off with it. The scene opens in the basement of
the Elm Street Church. The time is that same evening.

Speaker 38 (01:36:37):
Step right in, folks, step right in. The auction's gotta
begin shortly. Oh there, Miter Johnson, Hello, mister Aldridge.

Speaker 45 (01:36:43):
Hi Henry.

Speaker 2 (01:36:44):
Hello.

Speaker 5 (01:36:44):
Has the betting started yet?

Speaker 55 (01:36:45):
No, We'll be starting pretty soon.

Speaker 38 (01:36:47):
Pretty nice turkey, nicest birds you ever saw a twenty
five pounder?

Speaker 12 (01:36:51):
Come on Henry.

Speaker 55 (01:36:51):
Step right in, folks, the auction will begins shortly.

Speaker 5 (01:36:54):
Chee father, I just happened to remember something. You know
that darn dog that.

Speaker 9 (01:36:57):
Stole our turkey, mister Brown, Yes, sir, well.

Speaker 49 (01:37:00):
I think his name is Dodo when he belongs to
that family that lives down on the corner of Maine and.

Speaker 5 (01:37:04):
Elm where you know where the fence is broken down.

Speaker 9 (01:37:07):
Oh, yeah, that's the family Will Brown's always complaining about.

Speaker 5 (01:37:11):
They got about fifteen children.

Speaker 9 (01:37:12):
Yeah, two dogs for every child.

Speaker 56 (01:37:14):
Pardon me, miss old, which I want to get right
up here in front?

Speaker 33 (01:37:17):
Tell me?

Speaker 38 (01:37:18):
Well, now, folks, Fox, we're auctioning off just one turkey tonight.
But it's sure ins of beauty.

Speaker 55 (01:37:23):
They say it's a direct descendant of the first turkey,
the Pilgrims.

Speaker 44 (01:37:26):
Eight.

Speaker 8 (01:37:28):
Hello there, mister Johnson, Hello, Will Brown, Hi, Homer, Hi, We.

Speaker 16 (01:37:31):
Are late, are we? You haven't sold a turkey yet.

Speaker 22 (01:37:34):
Have you?

Speaker 30 (01:37:34):
Oh?

Speaker 55 (01:37:34):
Sir, But we're gonna start right away.

Speaker 8 (01:37:36):
Hey, come on home, let's get over here. On one side. Boy,
am I tired? Does this tear in my pants show?
What tear when that dog tripped me?

Speaker 16 (01:37:46):
Well, it doesn't show too much if you don't bend down.

Speaker 8 (01:37:50):
Home, my wife. Couldn't you have remembered this auction before
I tried to climb that fence?

Speaker 38 (01:37:55):
All right, all right, friends, here she is. It's all
for charity, worthy call bit freely and generously. You may
be sure good use will be made of the money.
Now what am I offered for this beautiful turkey?

Speaker 39 (01:38:07):
Fifteen dollars?

Speaker 55 (01:38:08):
Fifteen I'm bid. That's an insult to this beautiful bird.

Speaker 38 (01:38:11):
I wouldn't be surprised to see her get up and
walk off in the hull. We'll make it eighteen twenty
I have why the drumsticks?

Speaker 2 (01:38:18):
You're worth that?

Speaker 38 (01:38:20):
Now it's twenty five, Now it's twenty five, Now it's thirty.
Oh we're going I have thirty.

Speaker 16 (01:38:25):
Bit, father. Aren't you going to bid thirty dollars and
fifty cents?

Speaker 38 (01:38:29):
No, I'm sorry, mister Brown. I'm only taking dollar bids
on this. It's all for charity, all right?

Speaker 8 (01:38:34):
Then make it thirty one thirty one? Want father?

Speaker 16 (01:38:37):
Thirty one?

Speaker 9 (01:38:37):
Watt is?

Speaker 8 (01:38:38):
I'm afraid thirty one?

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
Thirty one it is?

Speaker 9 (01:38:40):
Who'll make it?

Speaker 6 (01:38:41):
Thirty two?

Speaker 1 (01:38:41):
Thirty three?

Speaker 60 (01:38:42):
I mean thirty two?

Speaker 38 (01:38:43):
I heard you the first time, lady thirty three you
made it, and thank you thirty five, thirty five, I'm
bit thirty.

Speaker 8 (01:38:50):
Five, Well, Homer, I guess that letsus so out.

Speaker 55 (01:38:52):
Thirty five I have from mister Aldrich, who'll make it?

Speaker 12 (01:38:55):
Forty?

Speaker 11 (01:38:55):
Homa?

Speaker 6 (01:38:56):
Did he say?

Speaker 5 (01:38:56):
Aldrich?

Speaker 31 (01:38:57):
Ge wis we'll make it forty forty five?

Speaker 55 (01:39:00):
Twenty five on bit forty five?

Speaker 8 (01:39:01):
That'll show Sam alrighty five fifty.

Speaker 38 (01:39:04):
Fifty five, shimmy whiz father, keep quiet home on fifty
five on bid fifty five, who'll make it sixty six?

Speaker 33 (01:39:10):
Pay?

Speaker 55 (01:39:11):
Thank you, mister Brown, you raised your own bit.

Speaker 6 (01:39:14):
Thank you.

Speaker 15 (01:39:19):
Say you say?

Speaker 38 (01:39:19):
Seven seventy seventy I have seventy for charity, seventy once,
seventy twice.

Speaker 16 (01:39:26):
Father suppose mother hears about this seventy twice?

Speaker 8 (01:39:29):
To him Art, what did he say, Homer?

Speaker 45 (01:39:31):
I don't want to make another mistake.

Speaker 8 (01:39:32):
I hear him aft father, I'd like to tell listen,
Homer for the last time, be quiet.

Speaker 55 (01:39:37):
So for seventy dollars to Samuel Army.

Speaker 2 (01:39:42):
Too.

Speaker 5 (01:39:43):
That's a fine say, And Homer, it's all your fault mine.

Speaker 9 (01:39:47):
How are you will?

Speaker 8 (01:39:49):
How are you Sam?

Speaker 2 (01:39:50):
Mister Alrich?

Speaker 55 (01:39:50):
If you'll step up here and pay your seventy dollars.

Speaker 9 (01:39:53):
All right, I'll be happy to by Homer, by Henry,
mister Alrich.

Speaker 38 (01:39:56):
I want you to know this turkey is going to
be wrapped and sent to one of the most deserving
families in towns and presented, of course, with the compliments
of the whole all Rich bounty.

Speaker 61 (01:40:07):
Oh boy, yeah, Dodo, Jill me a Dodo, nice doggy, Dodo.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
I want to give you a turkey, Papa. Don't give
Papa the turkey.

Speaker 62 (01:40:27):
Jun your keep away? Do you want to frighten him? Hey, Dodo,
you mean that turkey. That's a nasty turkey.

Speaker 5 (01:40:35):
Dodo.

Speaker 28 (01:40:36):
You won't like it.

Speaker 20 (01:40:37):
Papa.

Speaker 1 (01:40:38):
Where do you suppose he got it?

Speaker 62 (01:40:39):
Natalie, will you stand back and all the rest of
you keep back?

Speaker 17 (01:40:42):
All right, stand back, everybody, and let Papa give a turkey.

Speaker 62 (01:40:45):
Now do do for the last time. I want that turkey.
We need that turkey, cap turkey dinner in this house.

Speaker 33 (01:40:53):
And ye.

Speaker 48 (01:40:57):
Look at it.

Speaker 5 (01:40:58):
Look at it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:58):
What do you suppose Dodo fan that turkey?

Speaker 62 (01:41:00):
Papa, Well, I don't believe in look at a gift
dog in the mouse. Besides snow dough. There's a lot
of people in this time.

Speaker 8 (01:41:10):
He's at the front door.

Speaker 1 (01:41:11):
Yes it is.

Speaker 62 (01:41:13):
Now, look Junior, take this turkey and go into the
kitchen with him.

Speaker 1 (01:41:17):
All right, it's our turkey.

Speaker 55 (01:41:19):
Now, good evening, mister Pawley. I've got a surprise for you.

Speaker 31 (01:41:24):
And wat's that mister Johnson?

Speaker 22 (01:41:26):
Here you are.

Speaker 55 (01:41:27):
It's partly from the Elm Street Church and partly from
sam Aldrich.

Speaker 8 (01:41:31):
Well let's say it said tankey, twenty five.

Speaker 55 (01:41:33):
Pounder and all the trimmings.

Speaker 28 (01:41:34):
To go with it.

Speaker 45 (01:41:35):
Oh, Papa, he where's another churke?

Speaker 9 (01:41:38):
Thanks?

Speaker 16 (01:41:38):
All right, thanks giving.

Speaker 9 (01:41:51):
Just a minute at lesten, I'll turn the light off.

Speaker 56 (01:41:53):
Don't forget to open the window before you get into bed.

Speaker 39 (01:41:56):
Mother, Yes, Henry, come in my mother.

Speaker 16 (01:41:59):
I heard to bother you.

Speaker 5 (01:42:00):
But could you look over this composition for spelling?

Speaker 56 (01:42:02):
Not tonight, dear, but leave it here.

Speaker 8 (01:42:04):
I'll go over it in the morning, all right, and.

Speaker 5 (01:42:06):
Thanks good night, Henry, good night, good night, dear.

Speaker 9 (01:42:10):
You know, Alice, I've been thinking it over.

Speaker 48 (01:42:12):
You've been thinking what over?

Speaker 2 (01:42:13):
Sam?

Speaker 57 (01:42:14):
I don't see any reason why we should ask the
Browns over for dinner tomorrow.

Speaker 56 (01:42:17):
To be quite frank, dear, I agree with you.

Speaker 57 (01:42:19):
I'll admit we've been good friends. But after the way
we'll acted today, and.

Speaker 56 (01:42:24):
I didn't like Elizabeth's attitude, so we might just as well.

Speaker 28 (01:42:27):
Near.

Speaker 56 (01:42:28):
How do you spell Pocahontas? I guess Henry spelled it right.

Speaker 57 (01:42:33):
Anyway, I don't see any point in having guests here
for the dinner of cranberries and chestnuts.

Speaker 50 (01:42:37):
But Dear, I told you we're also having cornby fresh hash.
Of course, I know it isn't turkey, But Sam, how
do you spell Pocahontas?

Speaker 9 (01:42:47):
Pocahontas.

Speaker 56 (01:42:48):
There's no ka, and it is there.

Speaker 9 (01:42:52):
I may be in the original Indian spelling.

Speaker 56 (01:42:55):
Sam, listen to this. Listen to what I did on
Thanksgiving by Henry w Aldrich.

Speaker 50 (01:43:02):
Thanksgivings tomorrow, Yes, David, stop interrupting. This year the same
as last year. We did the same old stuff that
we did every other year. To begin with, our dinner
consisted of turkey. Only scratched that out and rolled chicken.

Speaker 9 (01:43:17):
Yeah, where does he think he's going to eat chicken?

Speaker 56 (01:43:19):
Then he scratched that out and just left it blank.

Speaker 22 (01:43:22):
Oh.

Speaker 50 (01:43:24):
After we finished this hearty meal, we felt very stuffed,
and all sat around and talked about the price of
things and the weather and business and stuff like that.

Speaker 56 (01:43:34):
Back in the old days, however, it was much more interesting.

Speaker 9 (01:43:38):
Then.

Speaker 50 (01:43:38):
There wasn't much food for anybody, and the Pilgrims had
to shoot turkeys just like Indians. Pocahattas was one Indian,
for example, but she was a good Indian.

Speaker 56 (01:43:49):
Mince meat in those days.

Speaker 50 (01:43:51):
They didn't have at that time, nor things like sage,
because no more ships came in that year. When you
once it's got some food, you had to hang on
to it for dear life because almost anybody might steal it,
usually a wolf. There were no stores to buy things,
so if a wolf took your turkey and stuff, you

(01:44:13):
were out of love.

Speaker 9 (01:44:14):
Let me see that on.

Speaker 57 (01:44:16):
But it was because of all this that the Pilgrim
fathers from whom we are all sprung celebrated their first
Thanksgiving and bowed their heads when they sat down over
what was in many cases just plain cornmeal mush, which
is something that even my mother has never gotten me

(01:44:37):
to like. As much as I admired the Pilgrims for
the other things they did, but even cornmeal mush is
all right, I guess, as long as they had neighbors
to share it. Because, as my father says, when it
comes to Thanksgiving, it's the spirit and not the stuffing.

Speaker 9 (01:44:58):
But cons hmm you.

Speaker 5 (01:45:04):
Father Homer's on the phone. His folks say, if we
could bring over a few eggs.

Speaker 49 (01:45:08):
They have some corn meal to make cornmeal muffins, and
won't we come over for dinner tomorrow?

Speaker 9 (01:45:12):
What do you mean, won't we come over?

Speaker 55 (01:45:14):
You tell them to pack up their corn meal and
come over here.

Speaker 50 (01:45:18):
I can ask them, yes, dear, and tell missus Brown
if she has any cinnamon to please bring it.

Speaker 56 (01:45:22):
I'm going to make apple sauce.

Speaker 52 (01:45:36):
Fight communism by joining the Crusade for Freedom, the independent
movement of the American People, which supports Radio Free Europe
and Radio Free Asia. These two networks are shattering the
isolation which the Kremlin has imposed on its slave states.
As a private enterprise, they can hit hard and expose
the falseness of the communist line. They can spike the

(01:45:59):
hate in life campaign of the Soviets against the free world.
So help build more transmitters for Radio Free Europe and
Radio Free Asia. Send your contribution to Crusade for Freedom
care of your local postmaster.

Speaker 8 (01:46:34):
Mother.

Speaker 5 (01:46:35):
What time are we having dinner?

Speaker 56 (01:46:36):
Not for another hour or so, dear?

Speaker 49 (01:46:38):
Well, look, mister Foley's dog Dodo is out in the
front yard. Yes, Henry and Homer and I are going
to take him and do a little hunting. Hunting, dear,
just roll in the neighborhood and see what we can
dig up.

Speaker 52 (01:47:10):
The Aldridge Family is transcribed as written by Clifford Goldsmith.
Henry is played by Bobby Ellis, Homer by Jack Grimes.
Mister and Missus Aldridge are House Jamison and Katherine Robs.
Your announcer is Dick Dudley. Listen again next week, same time,

(01:47:33):
same station, or another sparkling half hour with the Aldridge Family.

Speaker 5 (01:47:38):
Good Night, everybody.

Speaker 4 (01:47:52):
You gotta love it. The Aldridge Family seventy three years ago,
November twenty third, nineteen fifty two, Here on Classic Radio
Theater with Wyatt Cox says, we continue toward Thanksgiving, and
yes Thanksgiving still a few days away, but we thank
you for being with us. And if you'd like to
thank us for the podcast, go to Classic Radio Dot stream.

(01:48:15):
Every way's there that you can support the podcast. You
can find information on the XH Data radios that we
find delightful and give somebody a radio for Christmas. AMFM,
shortwave and it's very very good. Everybody needs a battery
operated radio just in case. Also you can find their

(01:48:38):
doctor B's Digestive Aids. Check that out promo code Wyat.
And also if you'd just like to buy me a
copy for Christmas, that'd be good. Classic Radio Dot Stream up. Next,
we'll head out to Hollywood and see what's going on
in Beverly Hills with Jack Benny.

Speaker 63 (01:49:03):
Civil Defenses, Common Sense. This is Jonny James after nuclear attack.
Our radio active fallout will be a potential threat to
every living thing. You can't hear, or smell or taste fallout.
Often you can't see it, so you must take shelter
and stay there until TOTD it's safe to leave.

Speaker 4 (01:49:22):
We continue now on Classic Radio Theater with wyatcocks By
going back eighty four years to November twenty third, nineteen
forty one, Thanksgiving Day at the Jack Benny Household eighty
three years ago with Jack and the whole crew including
guests at a Spade.

Speaker 60 (01:49:45):
The Jello Program brought to you by Jello and Jello
Pudding starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day,
and Yours truly Don Wilson. The Orchest Robinson Program with
one on the house.

Speaker 20 (01:50:08):
The biggest dessert news in years.

Speaker 60 (01:50:10):
That's what folks everywhere are calling Jello's new locked in flavors.
Never has Jello tasted so rich and delicious. Today it's
even better than ever, and all because of a wonderful
new process that locks in all of Jello's grand flavor,
keeps it from fadi, keeps it at full strength till
the moment you use it.

Speaker 20 (01:50:29):
Today.

Speaker 60 (01:50:30):
Jello's vivid, original goodness is locked right into the tiny
Jello particles.

Speaker 20 (01:50:34):
Where time can't touch it.

Speaker 60 (01:50:36):
It's protected against fading or changing in any way, and
it comes out of the package just as rich and
full flavored as it went in.

Speaker 20 (01:50:43):
Prove it for yourself. Open the package of Jello.

Speaker 60 (01:50:46):
Notice that there's no heavy fruity aroma, no sign of
escaping flavor. But when you dissolve the jello, you unlock
its captive goodness, and out it pours for your pleasure.
To order Jello tomorrow, look for the big bread letters
on the box and be sure to get Jello. The
flavor never goes away. We put it in and it's
there to stay. That was one on the house plate

(01:51:30):
by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we would like
to take you back three days and show you how
Jack Benny entertained the gang on Thanksgiving. The time two
pm last Thursday. The scene the kitchen of Jack's home
in Beverly Hills, where we find Jack, Merry and Rochester
preparing the dinner.

Speaker 2 (01:51:46):
Take it away?

Speaker 33 (01:51:50):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:51:50):
What else? Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:51:52):
Yes, Rochester? Hand me those little plates there with him?

Speaker 45 (01:51:55):
Here are boss.

Speaker 6 (01:51:58):
Let's see a black one for Phil, a green one
for Alice, a black one for Don, a green one
for missus Wilson, a black one for Mary.

Speaker 1 (01:52:08):
Say Jack, make mine a green one. I don't like
rype olives.

Speaker 6 (01:52:18):
All right, I'll switch you and Don there.

Speaker 1 (01:52:21):
I'm hungry. I think I'll eat mine now drop that.

Speaker 6 (01:52:26):
I don't want you to spoil your appetite. You know
we're having wild duck for our Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaker 1 (01:52:30):
No chip beef this year, eh, not unless we run.

Speaker 6 (01:52:34):
Short, Rochester, what are you putting in that dressing?

Speaker 45 (01:52:37):
I thought a dash of gin would snap it up
a little bit?

Speaker 6 (01:52:42):
What whoever heard of putting gin in dressing?

Speaker 1 (01:52:44):
On set?

Speaker 45 (01:52:45):
Lavenuel, it's a must.

Speaker 6 (01:52:53):
Well, I don't want it in this dressing, and put
that gin back in the first aid kid, Oh, Mary,
take a look in the oven and see how the
ducks are coming along.

Speaker 1 (01:53:03):
Okay, uh, what was that? They're not quite done yet.

Speaker 6 (01:53:21):
Now look, bat noise came from some live ducks I
got in the basement. These ducks here should be done
by Now. What time do we put them in the oven? Rochester?

Speaker 45 (01:53:29):
About ten o'clock last night.

Speaker 6 (01:53:33):
Let's see, that's sixteen hours. They're done, all right. They
sure look tender, don't they marry tender?

Speaker 1 (01:53:39):
The middle one looks like Humphrey Bogar.

Speaker 6 (01:53:43):
What an imagination? Now, Rochester, take each duck and stuff
the dressing in it.

Speaker 45 (01:53:48):
I ain't gonna touch old Humphrey.

Speaker 6 (01:53:52):
Cut that out. I'll get busy and stuff those ducks.

Speaker 45 (01:53:55):
Okay, where's a shoehorn?

Speaker 6 (01:53:57):
You don't need a shoehorn. Now, let's see a green
eye for me a black one.

Speaker 1 (01:54:02):
Hey Jack, why don't you give those allahs a little
company and put some celery on the place.

Speaker 6 (01:54:06):
Celery? Okay, open the ice box and get some.

Speaker 1 (01:54:09):
I don't know the combination.

Speaker 6 (01:54:13):
It's forty five right, twenty three back and ten right?
That's it.

Speaker 45 (01:54:18):
Can I buy you a pencil?

Speaker 6 (01:54:20):
Boss, don't bother writing it down. I'm changing it tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:54:25):
Now where was I?

Speaker 6 (01:54:27):
Oh? Yes, a green one for me, a black one
for billy kids. That must be Denni's open the back
door for m Rochester. Yes, send that kid on an
air and he takes all day.

Speaker 1 (01:54:39):
Where'd he go?

Speaker 6 (01:54:39):
Jack over to Ronald Coleman's to borrow something you.

Speaker 1 (01:54:42):
Ought to be ashamed of yourself. You're always borrowing from
mister Coleman.

Speaker 6 (01:54:45):
That works both ways, Mary. Within the last year, he's
borrowed over a dozen of my best.

Speaker 1 (01:54:49):
Eggs, your eggs. Yes, his chickens laid him in your garage.

Speaker 6 (01:54:58):
That doesn't make any different. That's the same thing. Is
the grapefruit near the fence? What hangs over his mine?
Even Coleman's lawyer admits that, well.

Speaker 1 (01:55:11):
Don't ever hang your head over the fancer. Coleman will
pick your two. Pay ha ha ha.

Speaker 6 (01:55:16):
I'm screaming, here's the punch bowl you wanted, mister Benny.

Speaker 12 (01:55:19):
What does that?

Speaker 55 (01:55:20):
Here's the punch bowl you wanted?

Speaker 6 (01:55:21):
Thanks kid, And what have you got in that bag?

Speaker 31 (01:55:23):
Some corn?

Speaker 6 (01:55:24):
Mister Coleman says, please feed it to his chickens. I've
been feeding him plenty. Now, Dennis, the gang will be
here pretty soon, So rub some of his burnt cork
on your face.

Speaker 1 (01:55:34):
Okay, burnt cork? What's that for?

Speaker 6 (01:55:36):
Dennis is gonna help serve dinner tonight. It's an emergency.
I hired Rochester's brother and he didn't show up. What
happened to Rochester?

Speaker 45 (01:55:44):
I was wrong, boss. He got sixty days instead of thirty.

Speaker 6 (01:55:49):
Oh well, I can use him New Year's Eve now,
Dennis A. Rochester will be busy here in the kitchen,
so it'll be your job. Whoop, there's the front door,
and here's your chance of practice. See you was at
the door, Sylvester.

Speaker 1 (01:56:01):
I've gone, mister Bennie, I've gone.

Speaker 6 (01:56:08):
Hey, that's all right.

Speaker 45 (01:56:09):
That boy does the worst blackface I've ever heard.

Speaker 6 (01:56:13):
Not so easy. I'd like to hear you do irish sometimes.
Come on, Mary, we'll sit in the music room until
the gang gets here.

Speaker 1 (01:56:26):
A juke box and an old fiddle, and you call
it a music room.

Speaker 6 (01:56:29):
Don't run down that jukebox, Mary, And incidentally, I wish
you'd stop playing it with life Savers got it all sticky, and.

Speaker 16 (01:56:39):
Missus Wilson are here, Matthew, Colonel Benny.

Speaker 6 (01:56:41):
Don't overdo it well, Hello, don Peggy welcome to the
Chateau Benny. Well, you're looking fine, Peggy. Take missus Wilson's
cold Sylvester. Yeah, yep, yup, yup. I wish he'd hold
it down a little well.

Speaker 33 (01:56:59):
Too, sir.

Speaker 20 (01:57:00):
Tonight you're kind of put me on the dog, aye.

Speaker 45 (01:57:01):
Jack.

Speaker 6 (01:57:02):
Well, it's a big party. Gee, Peggy. I'm sure glad
you and Don were able to come to dinner today.

Speaker 1 (01:57:06):
Yes, I am too.

Speaker 54 (01:57:07):
Don's been gaining weight again, and I'm so happy he's
someplace where he can't overeat.

Speaker 45 (01:57:17):
Good good.

Speaker 8 (01:57:20):
Well.

Speaker 6 (01:57:20):
I hate to disappoint you, Peggy, but there's gonna be
plenty of food on that table.

Speaker 20 (01:57:24):
Yes, and I love chipped beef.

Speaker 6 (01:57:26):
We're having wild up. Now, let's have a little music
while we're waiting. Mary, put a nickel in the jukebox.

Speaker 1 (01:57:31):
I've only got one. I'm saving it for the Apple machine, all.

Speaker 6 (01:57:35):
Right, I'll put one in that is, if i've If
I've here's a nickel, Jack says, say, here's one of
fields records, the Chatanooka Chu Chuo. He sings the chorus
on this one, very cute too. Waiting to hear.

Speaker 64 (01:58:01):
Pardon my boy is at the Chattanooga Chu Choo track
twenty nine. Then you can give me a shoine. I
can afford to boarder Chattanooga ch Choo. I've got my
fair and just un inkling display.

Speaker 15 (01:58:22):
You leave old.

Speaker 64 (01:58:23):
Pennsylvania station by the quarter the four read the magazine
the men.

Speaker 65 (01:58:28):
In Baltimore dinner on the diner noths and could define us.

Speaker 64 (01:58:32):
And to have your ham an inch and care hair Brolina.
When you hear the whistle board eight to the fire,
then you know the Tennessee is not very far.

Speaker 6 (01:58:40):
Hurry up and call in.

Speaker 65 (01:58:42):
Gotta get a rolling uzu.

Speaker 12 (01:58:44):
Chattanooga dag By.

Speaker 64 (01:58:51):
There's gonna be a certain party at the station, Satin
and lad I used to call.

Speaker 28 (01:59:00):
On the page.

Speaker 64 (01:59:02):
She's gonna cry until I tell her that'll never wrong.

Speaker 11 (01:59:08):
Who chatt anoka choot?

Speaker 12 (01:59:09):
You won't you choot?

Speaker 13 (01:59:11):
You me home?

Speaker 64 (01:59:17):
There's gonna be a certain.

Speaker 6 (01:59:19):
Party at the station.

Speaker 65 (01:59:21):
Sad Sad, Sadan, Lady. I used to call my bunny
honey fun the face. She's gonna cry until I tell
her that'll never wrong. So Chatta knew cold choot you
who who chatter knew could choot?

Speaker 23 (01:59:38):
You?

Speaker 6 (01:59:38):
Who we who eat chatow new con choot? You won't
you choot you me home? Lisn't til I he even

(02:00:00):
puts applause on the record. I was a good number though, Yes, indeed.
By the way, Peggy, I don't believe you've been in
my music room before, have you?

Speaker 42 (02:00:10):
No?

Speaker 54 (02:00:10):
I haven't, Jack, And you've got some them the old
pieces here who furnished it?

Speaker 1 (02:00:14):
Harry's hop shop.

Speaker 6 (02:00:16):
I only got the melodeon there. You know, Peggy, if
you look around you can get some of them.

Speaker 1 (02:00:20):
Oh, here comes your border.

Speaker 12 (02:00:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:00:22):
I wonder what happened to him? His arms in a sling? Oh,
good afternoon, mister Billingsley. Hello, mister Benny having company for dinner?
I see, yes, yes, the others will be here pretty soon.
Won't you have a seat?

Speaker 33 (02:00:36):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:00:36):
Thanks?

Speaker 6 (02:00:37):
I never touch him. By the way, mister Billingsley, I
noticed your arms in a sling. How did you happen
to break it? I was putting on my long underwear
this morning and I fell off the ladder. Oh well,
why do you have to climb a ladder to put
on your underwear? When I say long, I mean long?

Speaker 33 (02:01:04):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:01:05):
Oh, I see. Won't you join us for dinner, mister Billingslee,
we're having wild out? No, I'll have a glass of
dressing later.

Speaker 2 (02:01:11):
Good night.

Speaker 6 (02:01:15):
It's getting more eccentric every day. But who else would
pay me eight hundred dollars a week for room and board?
An amazing character?

Speaker 45 (02:01:29):
Mister Benny? Can I speak to you confidentially? It's very important?

Speaker 6 (02:01:32):
Oh now, what excuse me for?

Speaker 12 (02:01:37):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (02:01:37):
Rochester? Boss?

Speaker 45 (02:01:38):
Those ducks ain't never gonna get tender?

Speaker 6 (02:01:40):
Why what happened?

Speaker 45 (02:01:41):
I just stop a fork in one of them and
a kit't gravy? All, old man?

Speaker 6 (02:01:49):
Now that's ridiculous. That probably slid in a pan, that's all.

Speaker 45 (02:01:53):
You may be a right boss, but I don't think
it would work to shoot him just once more?

Speaker 12 (02:02:07):
Don't you dare?

Speaker 6 (02:02:08):
I shot those ducks. All you've got to do is
cook them. I want dinner served as soon as mister
and missus Harris arrive. But boys, I get back to
the kitchen. Dum deem dum bum bum bum dum dum
dumb the jeans, the dum dum. Oh, sorry, folks, what's
the matter?

Speaker 54 (02:02:23):
Jack?

Speaker 22 (02:02:24):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:02:24):
Rochester is having a little trouble with the ducks. It
seems well everything will be all right now, Yes, sir Jack?

Speaker 12 (02:02:46):
What was that noise?

Speaker 20 (02:02:47):
Got it like a gunshot.

Speaker 6 (02:02:48):
I don't.

Speaker 12 (02:02:49):
I know.

Speaker 6 (02:02:49):
Well, folks, just as soon as every there's someone at
the door, Sylvester, Sylvester, answer the door.

Speaker 16 (02:02:55):
That's Doe.

Speaker 6 (02:02:56):
Boss. All right, answer the door and don't shuffle, just walk. Say, Don,
would you like a cocktail before dinner?

Speaker 8 (02:03:05):
Hey?

Speaker 6 (02:03:05):
Don?

Speaker 1 (02:03:06):
Definitely?

Speaker 30 (02:03:06):
No.

Speaker 6 (02:03:08):
Well I can see who wears the pants in that
family with Don?

Speaker 1 (02:03:12):
Say room for both of them?

Speaker 6 (02:03:14):
You said, Announ's mister and missus Phil has Phil? Hi Jackson?

Speaker 22 (02:03:22):
Hell?

Speaker 6 (02:03:33):
Well, well, Alice, I'm sure happy you were able to
come to dinner.

Speaker 42 (02:03:36):
Oh.

Speaker 48 (02:03:37):
I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

Speaker 6 (02:03:38):
Jackson, Jackson, she calls me, Jackson. You know everybody here?

Speaker 1 (02:03:44):
No, Jalice, Hello, Alice?

Speaker 48 (02:03:45):
Oh why Peggy, I haven't seen you since our trip
to New York.

Speaker 6 (02:03:48):
And Alice, you know Marry Livingston.

Speaker 1 (02:03:50):
Oh, of course I do.

Speaker 48 (02:03:52):
Hello Mary, so nice seeing you again. Hello.

Speaker 6 (02:03:57):
Hello, it's a fine greeting.

Speaker 1 (02:04:00):
Cares how many fan clubs she's got?

Speaker 6 (02:04:04):
Mary, don't pay any attach to her, Alice. You see,
Mary is always jealous of any girl that shines up
to me.

Speaker 48 (02:04:11):
Well, who's shining up to you?

Speaker 33 (02:04:14):
Well?

Speaker 6 (02:04:14):
I mean that you, I mean explain that Jackson. Don't
get excited. Phil. Now, look, fellas, let's not have a brawl.
I don't want ducks teams all over the furniture. Well, well,
this is the first time you've ever been to my house.

Speaker 33 (02:04:32):
Is it, Alice?

Speaker 19 (02:04:33):
Yes?

Speaker 48 (02:04:33):
And I think it's furnished in very good taste. What
did you mean, Phil, I should wear my old clothes?

Speaker 8 (02:04:41):
Why?

Speaker 6 (02:04:42):
Phil, you little rascal? See Mary. Call up Luella Parsons
and tell her Alice face visiting me.

Speaker 1 (02:04:47):
She'll never believe us.

Speaker 6 (02:04:48):
She will too, and call Harrison Carroll.

Speaker 60 (02:04:50):
Say, Phil, I want to congratulate you're on your performance
last night and the Courtship of Miles Stanley.

Speaker 6 (02:04:55):
Yeah, it's the best play O Night School ever put on.
Don Oh yes, Bill, you were excellent as Priscilla. But
as long as you were playing the part of a girl,
why didn't you shave before you went out on the stage.
I didn't want people to think I was on the level. Well,
let's spoil it a little for me. By the way, Phil,
use the ashtray, Peggy, these rugs are expensive.

Speaker 25 (02:05:24):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (02:05:24):
By the way, Phil, that's a girl.

Speaker 33 (02:05:27):
Bye.

Speaker 6 (02:05:31):
By the way, Phil, Uh uh? Did Phil? Did you
did you get those flowers I sent you before the performance.
Oh yeah, thanks for the Christmas anthemums.

Speaker 48 (02:05:44):
Christmas anthemums, pil I told you last night. It's one word,
Chris anthema.

Speaker 6 (02:05:49):
Oh, lay off, honey, I don't want to let your on.

Speaker 48 (02:05:51):
Thanksgibbing, behave yourself filler. I won't read that book to
you anymore.

Speaker 6 (02:05:57):
What book are you reading to, Malice?

Speaker 1 (02:05:59):
Oh you know A is for affles, so round and
red B is for butter. You spread it on bread?

Speaker 6 (02:06:09):
What are you kidding?

Speaker 66 (02:06:10):
See as fit crack as you eat them in bed?
I know them all, del you'll be up.

Speaker 6 (02:06:20):
To the Rover boys pretty soon. Well, I don't know
about you, folks, but I'm gonna have a cocktail before dinner.

Speaker 1 (02:06:27):
Oh jon't Jack, you always act so silly. I do
not one cocktail. And look, fellas, I'm a Spanish dancer.

Speaker 6 (02:06:34):
Oh, a Spanish dancer.

Speaker 1 (02:06:35):
By that time, he's wearing a lampshade.

Speaker 33 (02:06:38):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (02:06:38):
Someone's got to put a little life in the parties
around this town. Oh, Sylvester, Yeah yeah, the boss go
out in the kitchen and tell Rochester were ready for dinner.

Speaker 39 (02:06:46):
I have a guine told that.

Speaker 26 (02:06:47):
Bar shut up.

Speaker 6 (02:06:59):
Well, Alice, I hope you're good and hungry. I'm on
a diet myself, you see, I have to be on
account of the new picture I'm making.

Speaker 1 (02:07:06):
I knew he'd get around to that.

Speaker 6 (02:07:07):
Quiet. See, I'm working opposite Carol Lombard, and I must
look my best.

Speaker 50 (02:07:12):
Well, Jack, I've seen you in pictures before, and as
I recall, you always look very nice.

Speaker 6 (02:07:17):
Yes, I imagine I do, but of course I look
much younger on the screen.

Speaker 1 (02:07:22):
Oh much, much much.

Speaker 6 (02:07:27):
Mary. You know, Alice, now that we're both at twentieth
Century Fox, maybe you and I'll be working together soon.

Speaker 48 (02:07:33):
Who knows. I think we'd make a swell team.

Speaker 6 (02:07:36):
Yes, you with your youth and beauty and me with
my suave debonair charm.

Speaker 48 (02:07:44):
You're right, Phil, he is handy.

Speaker 6 (02:07:47):
You know, Alice. The next time I see mister Zannie dinner, serf, walk,
do not run to the dining room.

Speaker 2 (02:07:56):
Now done?

Speaker 6 (02:07:57):
You take Alice, Phil, You take Peggy and Mary? Oh, Mary,
call off head a hopper and Jimmy Starr and Herbstein
tell him that Alice fays having dinner with me today? Okay,
and call Sidney Skowski too.

Speaker 1 (02:08:07):
Golfkey, Yes, who's gonna boot him up to the telephone.

Speaker 6 (02:08:10):
He's got a ladder like Billingsley. All right, everybody, grab
your seat and take your time. Now, that's funny for all.
Come on, boy, what a dinner?

Speaker 45 (02:08:37):
Say?

Speaker 20 (02:08:37):
This dressing is delicious, Jack, I'm.

Speaker 6 (02:08:39):
Glad you like him? Oh, Rochester, serve missus Harris some
more duck. Do you have another piece of duck?

Speaker 33 (02:08:43):
Alice?

Speaker 48 (02:08:44):
No, thanks, I'm still chewing on my first piece.

Speaker 6 (02:08:48):
Well, you've got beautiful teeth.

Speaker 22 (02:08:49):
Use him.

Speaker 65 (02:08:54):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (02:08:54):
I think the duck is very tasty, don't you marry?

Speaker 1 (02:08:57):
Yeah, but the next time you go out shooting and
be more careful. Mind's full of buckshot.

Speaker 6 (02:09:01):
Mary. That's what that bowl is for. Dump the buckshot
in the bowl. Oh that's it. Personally, I think this
is the finest meal. That's me that bull.

Speaker 19 (02:09:12):
Will you marry?

Speaker 11 (02:09:13):
Thanks?

Speaker 6 (02:09:24):
Well, I really banged away at that one, but I
still say this is a lovely dinner.

Speaker 1 (02:09:29):
Yeah, everything from soup to lead.

Speaker 6 (02:09:32):
Never mind, and have another cranberry?

Speaker 1 (02:09:34):
One cranberry you're supposed to have cranberry spot Well, squash it?

Speaker 6 (02:09:37):
Are you helpless? It's the matter with you anyway? Rochester, Yes,
bring me a sharper knife. I got Humphrey, say Alice, Alice,

(02:10:00):
I have a real treat for you after dinner. I'll
take you downstairs and show you a Carmichael my polar bear.

Speaker 1 (02:10:05):
Oh that's swell.

Speaker 48 (02:10:06):
I love animals, you do.

Speaker 6 (02:10:08):
Have you got any pets, Alice?

Speaker 42 (02:10:10):
Oh?

Speaker 48 (02:10:10):
Just fill my little reformed wolf.

Speaker 6 (02:10:16):
The good yessir? Some more, some more dressing? Gun?

Speaker 33 (02:10:21):
Oh?

Speaker 60 (02:10:22):
Thanks, by the way, Jack Wurst, Dennis, didn't you invite
him to dinner?

Speaker 12 (02:10:25):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (02:10:26):
I wonder what happened to the kids? Me too, Mary,
don't give it away, Oh, Sylvester, have we heard from
mister Day Yeah, he fall the left word that he
was having dinner with miss Hetty Lamar Heeddy Lamar.

Speaker 39 (02:10:40):
That boy sure getting around, don't it.

Speaker 6 (02:10:44):
All right? Sylvester? Stop leaning on the table and get
busy enjoying the food.

Speaker 33 (02:10:48):
Peggy.

Speaker 1 (02:10:48):
Oh, it's fine, Jack, and the dressing is delicious. What
isn't it?

Speaker 6 (02:10:52):
I really don't know? Rochester? Yes, boss, what's in this dressing?
What he's like all good chefs?

Speaker 2 (02:10:59):
Back?

Speaker 6 (02:11:00):
He just won't give away a secret. Get another bowl, Rochester,
this one full? Everything?

Speaker 33 (02:11:08):
All right?

Speaker 6 (02:11:08):
Alice?

Speaker 48 (02:11:09):
M hm oh, I've never been to such a novels
dinner party.

Speaker 1 (02:11:12):
Imagine feel I got a prize in my dressing?

Speaker 22 (02:11:15):
The prize.

Speaker 48 (02:11:15):
A look a shoehorn.

Speaker 6 (02:11:22):
That is a novel, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (02:11:23):
I got a red cross button in mine.

Speaker 6 (02:11:25):
We'll hand it over. I joined yesterday and remind me
everybody should, especially this year Rochester. I think we'll have
our dessert and coffee in the music room. Okay, balls,
if everybody's had enough ducks, come on, come on, let's
go in the music room.

Speaker 60 (02:11:40):
What are we having for dessert? Jack, what do you
think I'll bet one thousand dollars. It's yell over that
new locked in flavor.

Speaker 33 (02:11:46):
You win down.

Speaker 6 (02:11:46):
The flavor never goes away. There to say, say, let's
have some entertainment while we're waiting for the coffee. Yeah,
what do we do? Well?

Speaker 33 (02:11:56):
We can? Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:11:57):
I know, Hey, look at me, fellas, Jack, that bowl
of fruit off your head. You don't look anything like
Tim and Miranda.

Speaker 6 (02:12:04):
Well, somebody's got entertained.

Speaker 20 (02:12:05):
Well what about Ali singing a song for us?

Speaker 6 (02:12:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 34 (02:12:07):
What about it?

Speaker 6 (02:12:08):
Alice?

Speaker 33 (02:12:08):
I don't want to sing?

Speaker 58 (02:12:09):
Come on, come on.

Speaker 13 (02:12:15):
Hear that, Alice?

Speaker 6 (02:12:16):
Will you sing for us?

Speaker 48 (02:12:17):
Wait till I finished cheering this duck?

Speaker 65 (02:12:18):
Huh?

Speaker 6 (02:12:19):
All right, and I'll tell you what. If you sing,
I'll accompany you on the viol No, no, no, Jackson,
no not alright, all right, come on, Alice, what's that song? Alice?
What's that song you did in your new picture Weekend.

Speaker 48 (02:12:40):
In Nevada and you mean tropical magic?

Speaker 6 (02:12:42):
Yeah, that's it. You sing tropical magic and I'll pull
rabbits out of my house. Quiet everybody, Alice is going
to say.

Speaker 67 (02:13:16):
Rabical magic, rang sadilation, move impatient like the bi rabical magy,
lost in your slender love, will surrender to the passion,

(02:13:44):
whistling shadow.

Speaker 32 (02:13:48):
Out of a mean mine with the many, but never
would Bud music is play.

Speaker 59 (02:14:03):
Topical magazine. You have be pain Audios to my heart, whispering.

Speaker 27 (02:14:45):
Had all.

Speaker 59 (02:14:48):
Part of a mene whisper Mayor, but never good.

Speaker 27 (02:14:56):
Bye music Day.

Speaker 67 (02:15:02):
Rockieople, you have meet day a deal la.

Speaker 13 (02:15:14):
Ardal Well.

Speaker 60 (02:15:38):
Anyway, folks, that's just about what happened to Jack's house
last Thursday. Alice sang her song, and then we all
played games at a swell time, and just as we
were leaving, we could hear Rochester's amey.

Speaker 45 (02:15:51):
Mister Berry, what is it?

Speaker 6 (02:15:52):
Rochester?

Speaker 45 (02:15:53):
What'll I do with all this duff slip over?

Speaker 6 (02:15:55):
Well, we can have it tomorrow night, mate.

Speaker 45 (02:15:57):
What about the mash mateinas and all this great.

Speaker 6 (02:15:59):
Very okay, make a pie out of them. Cranberry pie
is delicious, you know, Oh save balls?

Speaker 46 (02:16:06):
Why I think we ought to turn this buckshot over
to the government for national defense.

Speaker 6 (02:16:13):
That's a very good idea. Early yet, so I'm going
out to see a movie.

Speaker 45 (02:16:17):
Is that still playing around?

Speaker 6 (02:16:19):
I don't mean Charlie's ant See you later. Good night Bars,
Good night Rochester.

Speaker 60 (02:16:43):
My love Mary Livingston's favorite jello desserts is a swell
treat called Peach and Banana Moores. Because I think you
like it too, I'm going to pass it right along.
It's an easy recipe to remember. Its main ingredients are
can the sliced peaches, slice bananas, and lime jello, and
you combine them like this. Make up one package of

(02:17:03):
lime jello as you usually do. Next, arrange one half
cup of canned sliced peaches on the bottom of the
mold and pour the jello over them. Then slice one
banana into the jello and the chill and buffer. When
you unmold it, you'll have a beautiful three layer dessert,
golden peach slices on top, sliced bananas embedded on the bottom,

(02:17:25):
and in between them and surrounding them cleared listening Emerald
lime Jello. Many grosses are featuring canned sliced peaches and
lime jello all next.

Speaker 20 (02:17:34):
Week, get both and make up this grand tree.

Speaker 60 (02:17:38):
Just be sure when you buy to ask for Jello,
because Jello's new locked in flavor gives you all the
flavor always.

Speaker 6 (02:17:51):
This is the last number of the eighth program in
the current Jello series, and we'll be with you again
next Sunday at the same time. Well, Alice, it was
awfully sweet of you to come over night and show
the folks what happened last Thursday. And your song was
really wonderful.

Speaker 1 (02:18:05):
Thanks Jackson, Jackson, she called me Jackson.

Speaker 6 (02:18:09):
Good night, folks.

Speaker 20 (02:18:18):
Well faired on our program to night. For Curdisher twenty
such for Fox Pictures.

Speaker 18 (02:18:27):
In Gelatin desserts, it's jello in puddings. It's jello puddings
and every well stocked pantry should include them.

Speaker 2 (02:18:34):
Both.

Speaker 18 (02:18:35):
Jello puddings are rich, luscious desserts that you make with milk,
and they come in three popular flavors, chocolate, vanilla.

Speaker 2 (02:18:42):
And butterscotch.

Speaker 18 (02:18:43):
Jello chocolate pudding is a pudding that even Grandma would
be proud to make. It has a smooth, creamy, homemade
goodness all its own, a mellow chocolate flavor developed exclusively
for Jello puddings by the famous Walter Baker Chocolate people. Tomorrow,
when you order jello asked for Jello push. They're just
like Grandma's Only Marzo.

Speaker 4 (02:19:03):
And eighty four years ago, November twenty third, nineteen forty one,
Jack Benny hard to believe that just two weeks after
this program was broadcast, the US would be thrust into
the center of World War II with the Japanese attack
of Pearl Harbor that aired earlier on that day. Alrighty,

(02:19:24):
Coming up next here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox,
an episode of Laman Abner from eighty three years ago,
November twenty third, nineteen forty two.

Speaker 68 (02:19:42):
Civil defense is common sense.

Speaker 2 (02:19:44):
This is Boris Karloff.

Speaker 68 (02:19:46):
No one can guarantee the survival of every home during
a nuclear war, but a strong civil defense can save
millions of lives. Make sure that yours is one of them.
Learn how to protect your home. Call civil defense today.

Speaker 4 (02:20:03):
Love Love, Love, Boris Karloff. Okay, the conclusion now of
today's podcast with an episode of Blum and Abner as
they figure out how to pay their bills from their
aborted Mars expedition. This goes back eighty three years November
twenty third, nineteen forty two.

Speaker 2 (02:20:23):
The makers of Alka Seltzer bring you Lumon Abner friends.

(02:21:15):
How much do you know about vitamins?

Speaker 69 (02:21:17):
Are you acquainted with one a day brand Vitamin A
and D tablets and one a day brand Vitamin B
complex tablets, the two great products made with the Miles
Laboratories makers of Alka Selzer. Right now, I'd like to
talk to you about vitamins A and D and suggest
you ask your druggist about one a day Vitamin A.

Speaker 2 (02:21:37):
And D tablets.

Speaker 69 (02:21:38):
You know, the prices are so low that you can
hardly run the risk of a deficiency in these important vitamins.
You see, every one a day Vitamin A and D
tablet gives you the same amount of vitamins A and
D as in one and a half teaspoonfuls of cod
liver oil meeting minimum USP standards. Now that's actually twenty
five percent more than your minimum daily requirements.

Speaker 2 (02:22:00):
Listen to this. One a day Vitamin A and D
tablets are pleasant to take too.

Speaker 69 (02:22:04):
There's no fishy, oily taste and no aftertaste, and the
cost amazingly low, just slightly more than a penny a
day per person when you buy the large family size
economy package. One a Day is the registered trademark of
Miles Laboratories, so be sure you get the genuine one
a day brand made by Miles, and look for that

(02:22:25):
big one on the package.

Speaker 2 (02:22:29):
Now, let's see what's going on down in Pine Ridge.

Speaker 69 (02:22:36):
Well, all that remains of the fabulous Trip to Mars
now is a large stack of bills which Lumon Abner
have accumulated while building the rocket ship. Squire Skim, the
ex treasurer of the non existent Mars Corporation, has no
help in this matter, inasmuch as he's evidently still in
the hands of the law. As we're looking on the

(02:22:56):
little community today, we find the old fellows in the
shot them downs to our library checking over their accounts receivable.

Speaker 2 (02:23:06):
Listen, let's see the old masters over four dollars and
eighty two cents. Check Bessie Blevins two dollars and ten cents.
Check e Sea strung five dollars. Even chat ky wee
hundred dollars six cents? Check chealong? Want that all ring? Yeah,
but I ain't going to answer. It's just them creditors

(02:23:29):
calling up again. And who them outfits? We owe all
the money to you know them bills for all the
stuff we bought for the rocket ship. Oh oh then yeah,
the one outfit called up here a couple of times
before you come in this morning. I told them that
you taking care of the bills around here. Well, don't
tell them that. Well, I didn't know what else to say.
I knowed we couldn't pay them. Of course we can't.

(02:23:51):
I ain't got no money. No, that's why I ain't
gonna answer the phone. Come on, let's finish checking the
books here and see how much money we got coming
from our customers. Go ahead, I'm ready, I'm ready. Where
they leave all k we hunt? Was the last dollar
and six cents? Oh yeah, m moved two dollars and
a half. Check l Spears. He's all paid up. Check

(02:24:14):
Milford Spears, seven Avenue six, check Granny's abner. How many
times have I told you and Grand Baptist stop keeping
score of your checker games in the charge book here? Mom?
I don't know how them things all us gets him. Now,
well you put them in there. That's how they get there,
and I don't want that to happen again. Do you understand, Well,
don't tell me. Tell grandpath. He's more likely than one

(02:24:36):
that all us does. No, he ain't no such a thing.
This is in your hand, right, it ain't neither abner,
don't argue about it. Just add up them figures, is
that all atum?

Speaker 33 (02:24:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:24:46):
See what they add up to a total of Yeah,
all right, you see eighteen nineties, nineteen plus three twenty three.
I sort of hate to ask all these folks to
pay up their accounts, but we to raise some money
to pay them. Bill somewhere car sixty sixty nine is
nineteen oh next mot ive and sixteen seven. There's seventeen

(02:25:11):
for down one pushback at seven. Now, h that's a
phone again. I believe on here, I ain't gonna answer
to wish. I'd never hear the mars or of a
rocket ship, neither one. It's twenty five, bring down a
two for goodness, sixteens? You got that added up? You
I'm doing it or we're just to make sure I

(02:25:32):
got it right? Well, hurry up, any half groved young
and then the first reader could add up a few
numbers quicker than that even or no, I reckon, that's
going too further and one seven two there, I got it,
got it right now, that's about time. How much did
they add?

Speaker 23 (02:25:48):
Have to?

Speaker 2 (02:25:49):
Fifty one dollars and seventy two cents? Greeny? Is that all?

Speaker 12 (02:25:53):
No?

Speaker 2 (02:25:53):
Eighty six dollars nine cents? Well, where'd you get that figure?
That's how it come out the first time. I believe
we order to use that mom, that's bigger than that
first one. Well, don't matter which one we use, neither
one of them would do as much good.

Speaker 28 (02:26:06):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (02:26:07):
We owe more than six hundred dollars. Abner. Eighty dollars
ain't gonna help much, I can tell you that right now. Well,
I don't believe we can collect all that eighty neither long.
Now you take that ulestus as Quincy there. I know
he'll never pay up his bill. No, I know he won't.
Squire Skimp won't pay either. My dog deserves a feller
that order to be paying these bills. I believe we

(02:26:27):
order to make him do it. Too long he agreed
to take care of them once. Yeah, I know, but
we was the ones that actually ordered the stuff though,
abner Us and Professor Slan. Squire's got something else to
pay right now anyway, leastways i've heard he has. What
do you mean, well, Oh, Dick Huddleson said he heard
that some judge at the county Seat or whatever it

(02:26:48):
was fine squire, awful, big fine first selling on legal stock. Yeah. Hum,
I think the judge give him a jail sentence too,
but then he suspended that. Well, I don't more likely
Squire talked to judge into doing that too. Yeah, we're likely.

Speaker 12 (02:27:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:27:04):
Anyways, he's out on prohibition now or something like that. Huh,
but he still has to pay that big fine. Us.
That's just good enough. Frime he had it coming to him. Yeah,
maybe someday Squire will learn hisself. If you can't go
again the law and get away with it, No, sure,
they can't do it. The Lord get them every time.
Every wish they'd stop calling up. I'm gonna drive me stark,

(02:27:26):
raving mad crazy. They want to nobody now. We can't
pay no bills. Yesterday, when one of them called, I
told him he'd have to give us some time to
raise the money, and he said he couldn't give us
no time hmm, said to give him? In want was
everybody to keep their bills paid up, give them man,
Oh my goodness, that's what he said. You know what's
liable to happen here, Avenue? Huh me, and you are

(02:27:47):
liable to wind up in the entry instead of Squire Skain.

Speaker 28 (02:27:49):
How long?

Speaker 2 (02:27:50):
I don't say that now? As well face the facts.
Granny's I was a big chunk ever get us in
this mess in the first place? A chump, yes, sir,
capital c chu mb chump. He just ain't no other
word for me. Well, not long, I don't think you're
a chump. No, uh, big gun anyway, Yes I am,

(02:28:11):
or never to a feller for this rocket ship idea,
or never to have got carried away. But all that
priddle prattle Professor Sloan told us about going to Mars. Well,
you reckon that professor got us into this on a purpose?

Speaker 41 (02:28:23):
Loan.

Speaker 2 (02:28:24):
Oh no, he's a nice enough fella, Avenue. He wouldn't
do nothing like that on purpose. His trouble is that
he's well, he's tested. No, he ain't taste huh. He's
more of a dreamer type dreamer.

Speaker 42 (02:28:38):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (02:28:38):
Yeah, he sits around, gets big fancy idies about things
he couldn't be done. And even if they could, they
wouldn't work cause these things that never would be done
even if they could work, cause it won't work on
the matter, or I mean, well anyways, in other words,
he's tested. Yeah, reckon that he is. One way of
describing him. That's him. He ain't got all his oh sir,

(02:29:01):
he ain't. Some of his spokes missing behind the door
when the brains was passed out that cellar. Well, he's brainy,
Avenue two brainy facts is well, whatever it is, I
oughtn't listen to him. I know that it's a big
chump for doing it. Well, I must be a chump too, then, no,
you ain't. I'm the only chump around here.

Speaker 8 (02:29:19):
Long.

Speaker 2 (02:29:20):
I was mixed up in this just the same as
you was. Don't forget that. Yeah, but I was the
one that talked you into it, Avenue, leastways you had
enough sense to wanna stay out of it. Of course
you might be a little chump for letting me change
your mind. Yeah, I believe that's what I am. A
little chump, that's just about it. But I'm the champion
jump of the whole world. I win that on her

(02:29:41):
hands down long, you reckon I might be a middle
sized chump. No, you're just a little one, that blending
you know. I was thinking last night the thing I
already do is just leave town. Leave town. Sure, I'm
the laughing starts a pine ridge. I know that.

Speaker 28 (02:29:58):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (02:29:59):
If we you didn't have to stay here and raise
the money to pay them bills, I'd leave from Mexico
right now. Mexico. Yes, I'd become a sombrero sombrero. Yeah,
that's a Mexican business secutive of some kind. I think, Oh,
thether Fellers that makes breros, well part, there's barrels. Oh,
something they make in Mexico. I think it's some kind

(02:30:20):
of a bread or maybe shoes, I ain't for sure. Well,
if you're going to start making them, you better find
out what the air long. You can't make shoes out
of bread dough? Have you ever seen that bread dough?
It's sister Simpson mixes up. Man, that's your little too
heavy for shoes.

Speaker 6 (02:30:35):
I believe.

Speaker 2 (02:30:38):
Maybe you better answer the phone and tell my lom
I don't want to talk to them creditors, fella. I
will go ahead stand to hear that phone ring no more,
or to have it took out. Yeah, that's what we
want to do. It's more likely a mistake. But hello,
jot them down store l Edards talking. Uh oh no,
we been here maybe, but we've been busy along a

(02:31:02):
distance call for us. Oh ah, I put him on
long distance. Well that must be that outfit. Professor Sloan
ordered them scientific instruments from they been calling Hello, Yeah,
this is mister Edwards. That's right. Were the ones that
was going to Mars. Tell them we can't pay it. Huh,

(02:31:24):
you want our permission to do hunt? Oh but we
never made the trip. The rocket ship exploded. Implup at
don't huh? Just a minute? Who are you?

Speaker 12 (02:31:38):
Well?

Speaker 2 (02:31:38):
I do know? Hold upon a second, I'll discuss this
was my pardner, What is it? I don't quite understand
this happening. But this is the editor of the National
Subscribers Weekly and he wants to print an article about
me and you trying to go to Mars. Why that's
a good magazine. And we take cat over there in
the libraries on ask him Field pays for it. We
order to get five or ten dollars. Yeah, that's a

(02:31:59):
good idea. Hello, say, me and my partner were just
discussing money, and okay, huh seven hundred and fifty dollars
Granny's hits a deal, Yes, sir, do what? Oh sure
I can write it out. I got talents for right,
And if I do, say so, mychlf write anything for

(02:32:20):
that much? What do you mean in our own language?
We speak the same language as you do American, can't
write it in foreign lingers long? Oh uh huh, even
for that much. Yeah, well, I'll send it to you
as soon as I get it rolled. Yeah, all right, sir,
much oblige, goodbye. Seven hundred and fifty dollars for one articular, Yes, sir,

(02:32:42):
Granny's Avenue. We might be celebrities after all. Oh, I'd
love to be a celebrity more than anything.

Speaker 45 (02:32:47):
I know.

Speaker 2 (02:32:48):
Even wants a picture of both of us. Sure, yeah,
a whole lot of them. Well you say, we got
a copy of that magazine in the library. Grandpather is
reading a new one over word just this morning. Well,
good get it, let's look at it. Yeah yeah, said
they said he wanted our story to go in a
series of articles they're running in the magazine. Now you
got it, Yeah, yeah, here it is, I dog, I

(02:33:09):
can't imagine us being celebrity. Reckon where he heard about
us in our rocket ship? Must have been in the
newspaper something. It must have been looking at introdexer that
tell us what articles is in there here that says
how long can the Japs last? Couldn't be it? No,
we ain't no jacks that Well here it is personality series.

(02:33:30):
It that's us personalities And the name of the series
is the tenth Well, I was wonder, goodness, what's the matter? Well,
if they ain't got an nerve, what is it? Long? Grannies,
If we didn't need the money so bad, I'd tell
him to jump right in the creek. Huh, nobody can
call me that and get away with it.

Speaker 13 (02:33:48):
Well, what does it say?

Speaker 2 (02:33:49):
Listen to this? The name of the series is the
ten Biggest Chumps of nineteen forty two.

Speaker 69 (02:33:58):
You old friends, Sure you'll agree once you've tried it,
that the modern alka sult way to relieve for that
dull achy feeling of a cold is prompt and mighty pleasant.
So next time a cold makes your life seem miserable,
start at once to take care of yourself. Get lots
of rest, eat sensibly, dress wisely, get ample vitamins, and

(02:34:18):
start taking alka sulzer. Use alcacelzer as a gargle too,
if a sore throats are part of your distress. Now,
if you haven't any alka seltzer handy the next time
you catch cold, get some quickly from your nearest druggist
and say, by the way, the larger family size package
is far more economical because you get three times the
number of alkalcelser tablets is the smaller size, or only

(02:34:39):
twice the price.

Speaker 4 (02:35:03):
They're gonna give you seven hundred and fifty bucks, and
you can get out of all your trouble. Why not
let them call you chums? There you go, uh Lomon
Abner from eighty three years ago November twenty third, nineteen
forty two. Here on Classic Radio Theater with Wyatt Cox.
Visit our webpage at Classic Radio Dot stream. We'll see
you tomorrow for the Good News of nineteen thirty nine

(02:35:26):
with Robert Young as the host, and of course the
Andy Hardy movie cast Mickey Rooney, Lewis stone Fey, holding,
Cecilia Parker, and Rutherbert. Also the Adventures of Sam Spade
in the terrified turkey taper. Yeah, Stephen done. So the
turkey is more than just the turkey and points. Sublime,

(02:35:47):
starring Cliff Arquette and Mel Blank, going back to nineteen
forty seven, and it's it's Monday, so we'll have an
episode of Claudia as she tries to be the Shakespeare.
Thanks for me with us here. We'll see you on
Monday for more classic radio theater, I'm Wyat Cox.

Speaker 2 (02:36:07):
M h m hm

Speaker 41 (02:36:14):
Hm hm

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Classic Radio 11-23-25 - Here Come the Pilgrims, Where's the Turkey, and Duck at Jack's House

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Classic Radio 11-23-25 - Here Come the Pilgrims, Where's the Turkey, and Duck at Jack's House