The Happy Unfortunate - Robert Silverberg

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Happy Unfortunate by Robert Silverbergh. Decker, back from space,
found great physical changes in the people of Earth, changes
that would have horrified him five years before. But now
he wanted to be like the rest, even if he
had to lose an eye in both ears to do it.

(00:22):
Ralph Decker stared incredulously at this slim, handsome young earther
who was approaching the steps of Ralph's tumble down Spacer
Town shack. He's got no ears, Rolf noted, in unbelief.
After five years in space, Ralf had come home to
a strangely altered world, and he found it hard to accept.
Another earther appeared. This one was about the same size

(00:43):
and gave the same impression of fragility. This one had ears,
all right, and a pair of gleaming two inch horns
on his forehead as well. I'll be eternally roasted, Ralph thought,
now I've seen everything. Both earthers were dressed in neat
gold inlaid green tunics, costumes which looked terribly out of
place amid the filth of Spacer Town, and their hair

(01:05):
was dyed a light green to match. He had been
scrutinizing them for several moments before they became aware of him.
They both spotted him at once, and the one with
no ears turned to his companion and whispered something. Ralph
leaned forward, strained to hear. Beautiful, isn't he That's the
biggest one I've seen. Come over here, won't you, the

(01:26):
horned one called, in a soft, gentle voice, which contrasted
oddly with the raucous bellowing Ralph had been accustomed to
hearing in space. We'd like to talk to you. Just then,
Cannaday emerged from the door of the shack and limped
down to the staircase. Hey, Ralph, he called, Leave those
things alone. Let me find out what they want first.
Huh can't be any good whatever it is, Canneday growled.

(01:49):
Tell them to get out of here before I throw
them back to wherever they came from, and make it fast.
The two earthers looked at each other uneasily. Ralph walked
toward them. He doesn't like that's all, Ralph explained. But
he won't do anything but yell. Canaday spat in disgust,
turned and limped back inside the shack. I didn't know

(02:09):
you were wearing horns. Ralph said. The earther flushed new style,
he said, very expensive, Oh, Ralph said, I'm new here.
I just got back five years in space. When I
left you people looked all alike. Now you wear horns.
It's the new trend, said the earless one. We're in David's.
When you left, the conforms were in power style wise.

(02:32):
But the new surgeons can do almost anything. You see
the shadow of a frown crossed Ralph's face. Anything almost.
They can't transform an earther into a spacer, and they
don't think they ever will, or vice versa, Ralph asked.
They sniggered. What spacer would want to become an earther?
Who would give up that life out in the stars.

(02:55):
Ralph said nothing. He kicked at the heap of litter
in the filthy street. What space, indeed, he thought. He
suddenly realized that the two little earthers were staring up
at him as if he were some sort of beast.
He probably weighed as much as both of them, he knew,
and at six four he was better than a foot taller.
They looked like children next to him, like toys. The

(03:15):
savage blast of acceleration would snap their flimsy bodies like toothpicks.
What places have you been to, the earless one asked.
Two years on Mars, one on Venus, one in the Belt,
one on Neptune. Ralph recited, I didn't like Neptune. It
was best in the Belt. Just our one ship prospecting.
We made a pile on Circes enough to buy out.

(03:39):
I shot half of it on Neptune. Still have plenty left,
but I don't know what I can do with it.
He didn't add that he had come home puzzled, wondering
why he was a Spacer instead of an earther, condemned
to live in filthy Spacer Town. When Yawk was just
across the river, they were looking at his shabby clothes,
at his dirty brownstone hovel he lived in, and auntee

(04:00):
of a house four or five centuries old. You you
mean you're rich, the earther said, sure. Ralph said, every
spacer is, so what what can I spend it on?
My money's banked on Mars and Venus. Thanks to the law,
I can't legally get it to Earth, so I live
in Spacertown. Have you ever seen an earther city? The

(04:20):
earless one asked, looking around at the quiet streets of Spacertown,
with big, powerful men sitting idly in front of every house.
I used to live in Yawk, Ralph said. My grandmother
was an earther. She brought me up there. I haven't
been back there since I left for Space. They forced
me out of Yawk, he thought, I'm not part of
their species, not one of them. The two earthers exchanged glances.

(04:44):
Can we interest you in a suggestion? They drew in
their breath as if they expected to be knocked. Sprawling
cannedy appeared at the door of the shack again. Ralph, Hey,
you turning into an earther. Get rid of them two
cuties before there's trouble. Ralph turned and saw a little
knot of Spacers standing on the other side of the street,
watching him with curiosity. He glared at them. I'll do

(05:08):
whatever I damn well, please, he shouted across. He turned
back to the two earthers. Now, what is it you want?
I'm giving a party next week, The earless one said,
I'd like you to come. We'd like to get the
spacers slant on life party. Ralph repeated, you mean dancing
in games and stuff like that. You'll enjoy it, the

(05:29):
earther said, coaxingly, And we'd all love to have a
real spacer there. When is it a week? I have
ten days left of my leave, all right, he said,
I'll come. He accepted the earther's card, looked at it, mechanically,
saw the name cow Quinton, and pocketed it. Sure, he said,
I'll be there. The earthers moved toward their little jet car,

(05:51):
smiling gratefully. As Ralph crossed the street, the other spacers
greeted him with cold, puzzled stairs. Canneday was almost as
tall as Rolf, and even uglier. Ralph's eyebrows were bold
and heavy, Cannaday's thick contorted, bushy clumps of hair. Cannaday's
nose had been broken long before in some bar room brawl.
His cheekbones bulged. His face was strong and hard. More important,

(06:15):
his left foot was twisted and gnarled, beyond hope of
redemption by the most skillful surgeon. He had been crippled
in a jet explosion three years before, and was of
no use to the space lines anymore. They had pensioned
him off. Part of the deal was the dilapidated old
house in Spacer Town, which he operated as a boarding
house for transient Spacers. What do you want to do

(06:36):
that for, Canaday asked. Haven't those earthers pushed you around
enough so you have to go and dance at one
of their wild parties? Leave me alone. Ralph muttered, you
like this filth you live in. Spacer Town is just
a ghetto, that's all. The earthers have pushed you right
into the muck. You're not even a human being to them,
just some sort of trained ape, and now you're going

(06:57):
to go and entertain them. I thought you had brain.
Ralph shut up. He dashed his glass against the table.
It bounced off and dropped to the floor, where it shattered.
Kennedy's girl, Laney, entered the room at the sound of
the crash. She was tall and powerful looking, with straight
black hair and the strong cheekbones that characterized the Spacers.

(07:17):
Immediately she stooped and began shoveling up the broken glass.
That wasn't smart, Ralph, she said, that'll cost you half
a credit. Wasn't worth it? Was it? Ralph laid the
coin on the edge of the table. Tell your pal
to shut up. Then if he doesn't stop icing me.
I'll fix his other foot for him, and you can
buy him a dolly. She looked from one to the other.

(07:39):
What's bothering you two? Now? A couple of earthers were
here this morning, Kennedy said, slumming. They took a fancy
to our young friend here and invited him to one
of their parties. He accepted. He what don't go, Ralph,
you're crazy to go. Why am I crazy? He tried
to control his voice. Why should we keep ourselves up

(08:00):
apart from the earthers. Why shouldn't the two races get together.
She put down her tray and sat next to him.
There are more than two races, she said patiently. Earther
and spacer are two different species, Ralph carefully genetically separated.
They're small and weak. We're big and powerful. You've been
bred for going to space. They're the cast offs, the

(08:22):
ones who were too weak to go. The line between
the two groups is too strong to break, and they
treat us like dirt, like animals, Cannaday said, But they're
the dirt. They were the ones who couldn't make it.
Don't go to the party, Laney said. They just want
to make fun. Of you look at the big ape,
they'll say. Ralph stood up. You don't understand. Neither of

(08:46):
you does. I'm part earther, Ralph, said my grandmother. On
my mother's side, she raised me as an earther. She
wanted me to be an earther, but I kept getting
bigger and uglier all the time. She took me to
the plastic surgeon once, figuring he could make me look
like an earther. He was a little man. I don't
know what he looked like to start with, but some
other surgeon had made him clean cut and straight nosed

(09:08):
and thin lipped like all the other earthers. I was
bigger than he was, twice as big, and I was
only fifteen. He looked at me and felt my bones
and measured me healthy little ape. Those were the words
he used. He told my grandmother I'd get bigger and bigger,
that no amount of surgery could make me small and handsome,
that I was fit only for space and didn't belong

(09:29):
in Yawk. So I left for space the next morning,
I see, Laney said quietly. I didn't say goodbye. I
just left. There was no place for me in yok.
I couldn't pass myself off as an earther any more.
But I'd like to go back and see what the
old life was like, now that I know what it's
like to be on the other side for a while.

(09:49):
It'll hurt when you find out, Ralph, I'll take that chance,
but I want to go. Maybe my grandmother will be there.
The surgeons made her young and pretty again every few years.
She looked like my sister when I left. Laney nodded
her head. There's no point arguing with him, Canaday. He
has to go back there and find out, so let
him alone. Ralph smiled, Thanks for understanding. He took out

(10:13):
Quinton's card and turned it over and over in his hand.
Ralph went to York on foot, dressed in his best clothes,
with his face as clean as it had been in
some years. Spacertown was just across the river from York,
and the bridges spanning the river were bright and gleaming
in the mid afternoon sun. The bombs had landed on
York during the long forgotten War, but somehow they had

(10:35):
spared the sprawling barrow across the river, and so York
had been completely rebuilt once the radioactivity had been purged.
From the land, while what was now spacer Town consisted
mostly of buildings that dated back to the twentieth century.
York had been the world's greatest seaport, now it was
the world's greatest spaceport. The sky was thick with incoming

(10:56):
and outgoing liners. The passengers on the ship usually stayed
at York, which had become an even greater metropolis than
it had been before the bomb. The crew crossed the
river to Spacertown, where they could find their own kind.
Yawk and Spacertown were like two separate planets. There were
three bridges spanning the river, but most of the time
they went unused, except by spacemen going back home or

(11:18):
by spacemen going to the spaceport for embarkation. There was
no regular transportation between the two cities. To get from
Spacertown to York, you could borrow a jet car, or
you could walk. Ralph walked. He enjoyed the trip. I'm
going back home, he thought, as he paced along the
gleaming arc of the bridge. Dressed in his Sunday best,

(11:39):
he remembered the days of his childhood, his parentless childhood.
His earliest memory was of a fight at the age
of six or so, he had stood off what seemed
like half the neighborhood, ending the battle by picking up
an older bully much feared by everyone and heaving him
over a fence. When he told his grandmother about the
way he had won the fight, she cried for an hour,

(12:00):
never told him why. But they had never picked on
him again, though he knew the other boys had jeered
at him behind his back as he grew bigger and
bigger over the years. Ape. They called him Ape, but
never to his face. He approached the yawk end of
the bridge. A guard was waiting there, an earther guard,
small and frail, but with a sturdy looking blaster at

(12:22):
his hip. Going back Spacer Ralph started, how did the
guard know? But then he realized that all the guard
meant was are you going back to your ship? No? No,
I'm going to a party at cal Quinton's house. Tell
me another spacer. The guard's voice was light and derisive.
A swift poke in the ribs would break him in half.

(12:42):
Rolf thought, I'm serious. Quentin invited me. Here's his card.
If this is a joke, it'll mean trouble. But go ahead.
I'll take your word for it. Ralph marched on past
the guard almost nonchalantly. He looked at the address on
the card, twelve four o six Kenman Road. He rooted
around in his fading memory of York, but he found

(13:05):
the details had blurred under the impact of five years
of Mars and Venus and the Belt and Neptune. He
did not know where Kenman Road was. The glowing street
signs were not much help either. One said two hundred
and seventy eighth Street and the other said seventy second Avenue.
Kenman Road might be anywhere. He walked on a block

(13:26):
or two. The streets were antiseptically clean, and he had
the feeling that his boots, which had lately trod in
Spacer Town, were leaving dirt marks along the street. He
did not look back to see. He looked at his
wristchron It was getting late, and Kenman Road might be anywhere.
He turned into a busy thoroughfare, conscious that he was
attracting attention. The streets here were crowded with little people

(13:48):
who barely reached his chest. They were all about the
same height, and most of them looked alike. A few
had had radical surgical alterations and every one of these
was different. One had a unicorn like horn, another and
extra eye which cunningly resembled his real ones. The earthers
were looking at him furtively, as they would at a
tiger or an elephant strolling down a main street. Where

(14:12):
are you going, spacer, said a voice from the middle
of the street. Ralph's first impulse was to snarl out
a curse and keep moving, but he realized that the
question was a good one, and one whose answer he
was trying to find out for himself. He turned another
policeman stood on the edge of the walkway. Are you lost?
The policeman was short and delicate looking. Ralph produced his card.

(14:35):
The policeman studied it. What business do you have with Quinton?
Just tell me how to get there, Ralph said, I'm
in a hurry. The policeman backed up a step. All right,
take it easy. He pointed to a kiosk. Take the
subcar here. There's a stop at Kenman Road. You can
find your way from there. I'd rather walk it, Ralph said.

(14:56):
He did not want to have to stand the strain
of riding in a subcar with a bunch of curious,
staring earthers. Fine with me. The policeman said, it's about
two hundred blocks to the north. Got a good pair
of legs, never mind, Ralph said, I'll take the subcar.
Kenman Road was a quiet little street and an expensive
looking end of Yawk. Twelve four oh six was a

(15:17):
towering building which completely overshadowed everything else on the street.
As Ralph entered the door, a perfumed little earther with
a flashing diamond where his left eye should have been
and a skin stained bright purple appeared from nowhere. We've
been waiting for you. Come on, Cow will be delighted
that you're here. The elevator zoomed up so quickly that

(15:37):
Ralph thought for a moment that he was back in space,
but it stopped suddenly at the sixty second floor, and
as the door swung open, the sounds of wild revelry
drifted down the hall. Ralph had a brief moment of
doubt when he pictured Laney and Canaday at this very moment,
playing bards in their moldering hovel while he walked down
this plaster line, Carridor back into a world he had

(15:58):
left behind. Quintin came out into the hall to greet him.
Ralph recognized him by the missing ears. His skin was
now a subdued blue to go with his orange robe.
I'm so glad you came, the little earther bubbled. Come
on in and I'll introduce you to everyone. The door
opened photo electrically as they approached. Quinton seized him by

(16:19):
the hand and dragged him in. There was the sound
of laughter and of shouting as he entered. It all
stopped suddenly, as if it had been shut off. Ralph
stared at them quizzically from under his lowering brows, and
they looked at him with ill concealed curiosity. They seemed
divided into two groups. Clustered at one end of the
long hall was a group of earthers who seemed completely identical,

(16:42):
all with the same features, looking like so many dolls
in a row. These were the earthers, he remembered, the
ones whom the plastic surgeons had hacked at and hewn
until they all conformed to the prevailing concept of beauty.
Then at the other end was a different group. They
were all different. Some had glittering jewels set in their foreheads,

(17:02):
others had no lips, no hair, extra eyes. Three nostrils.
They were a weird and frightening group, highest product of
the plastic Surgeon's art. Both groups were staring silently at Rolf. Friends.
This is Rolf. Ralph Decker, Rolf said, after a pause.
He had almost forgotten his own last name, Ralph Decker,

(17:25):
just back from outer space. I've invited him to join
us tonight. I think you'll enjoy meeting him. The stony
silence slowly dissolved into murmurs of polite conversation as the
partygoers adjusted to the presence of the newcomer. They seemed
to be discussing the matter earnestly among themselves, as if
Quinton had done something unheard of by bringing a spacer
into an earther party. A tall girl with blonde hair

(17:48):
drifted up to him. Ah, Joanie, Quinton said. He turned
to Rolf. This is Joanie. She asked to be your
companion at the party. She's very interested in space and
things connected with it. Things connected with it, Ralph thought,
meaning me. He looked at her. She was as tall
an earther as he had yet seen, and probably suffered

(18:09):
for it when there were no spacers around. Furthermore, he
suspected her height was accentuated for the evening by special shoes.
She was not of the individ persuasion, because her face
was well shaped, with smooth, even features with no individualist distortion.
Her skin was unstained. She wore a clinging off the
breast tunic quite a dish rolf decided he began to

(18:32):
see that he might enjoy this party. The other guests
began to approach timidly, now that the initial shock of
his presence had worn off. They asked silly little questions
about space, questions which showed that they had only a
superficial interest in him and were treating him as a
sort of talking dog. He answered as many as he could,
looking down at their little painted faces with concealed contempt.

(18:55):
They think as little of me as I do of them.
The thought hit him suddenly, and his broad face creased
in a smile at the irony. Then the music started,
The knot of earther slowly broke up and drifted away
to dance. He looked at Joanie, who had stood patiently
at his side through all this. I don't dance, he said,
I never learned how. He watched the other couples moving

(19:17):
gracefully around the floor, looking for all the world like
an assemblage of puppets. He stared in the dim light,
watching the couples clinging to each other as they rocked
through the motions of the dance. He stood against the wall,
wearing his ugliness like a shield. He saw the great
gulf which separated him from the earthers, spreading before him.
As he watched the dancers and the gay chatter and

(19:38):
the empty badinage, and the furtive hand holding and everything
else from which he was cut off, the bizarre individs
were dancing together. He noticed one man putting an extra
arm to full advantage, and the almost identical conforms had
formed their own group again. Ralph wondered how they told
each other apart when they all looked alike. Come on,

(20:00):
Joanie said, I'll show you how to dance. He turned
to look at her, with her glossy blonde hair and
even features. She smiled prettily, revealing white teeth, probably newly purchased.
Ralph wondered, Actually, I do know how to dance, Ralph said,
but I do it so badly that doesn't matter. She
said gaily. Come on, She took his arm. Maybe she

(20:23):
doesn't think I look like an ape, he thought. She
doesn't treat me the way the others do. But why
am I so ugly? And why is she so pretty?
He looked at her, and she looked at him, and
he felt her glance on his stubbly face with its
ferocious teeth and burning yellowish eyes. He didn't want her
to see him at all. He wished he had no face.

(20:44):
He folded her in his arms, feeling her warmth radiate
through him. She was very tall, he realized, almost as
tall as a Spacer woman, but with none of the
harsh ruggedness of the women of Spacer Town. They danced,
she well, he clumsily. When the music stopped, she guided
him to the entrance of a verandah. They walked outside
into the cool night air. The lights of the city

(21:06):
obscure at most of the stars, but a few still showed,
and the moon hung high above Yawk. He could dimly
make out the lights of Spacertown across the river, and
he thought again of Laney and Canaday, and wished Canaday
could see him now, with this beautiful earther next to him.
You must get lonely in space, she said, after a while,
I do he said, trying to keep his voice gentle.

(21:28):
But it's where I belong. I'm bred for it. She nodded, yes,
And any of those so called men inside would give
ten years of his life to be able to go
to space. But yet you say it's lonely. Those long
rides through the night, he said, they get you down.
You want to be back among people, so you come back,
You come back, and what do you come back to?

(21:50):
I know, she said softly. I've seen Spacer Town. Why
must it be that way? He demanded, Why are Spacers
so lucky and so wretched all at once? Let's not
talk about it now, she said. I'd like to kiss her,
he thought, but my face's rough, and I'm rough and ugly,
and she'd push me away. I remember the pretty little

(22:11):
earther girls who ran laughing away from me when I
was thirteen and fourteen, before I went into space. You
don't have to be lonely, she said, one of her
perfect eyebrows lifted just a little. Maybe some day you'll
find some one who cares. Ralph some day maybe, yeah,
he said, some day, maybe, But he knew it was

(22:31):
all wrong. Could he bring this girl to Spacer Town
with him. No, she must be merely playing a game,
looking for an evening's diversion, something new, make love to
a spacer. They fell silent, and he watched her again,
and she watched him. He heard her breath rising and
falling evenly, not at all like his own thick gasps.

(22:52):
After a while, he stepped close to her, put his
arm around her, tilted her head into the crook of
his elbow, bent and kissed her. As he did it,
he saw he was botching it, just like everything else.
He had come too close, and his heavy boot was
pressing on the tip of her shoe, and he had
not quite landed square on her lips. But still he

(23:12):
was close to her. He was reluctant to break it up,
but he felt she was only half responding, not giving
anything of herself while he had given all. He drew
back a step. She did not have time to hide
the expression of distaste. It involuntarily crossed her face. He
watched the expression on her face as she realized the
kiss was over. He watched her silently. Some day, maybe,

(23:36):
he said. She stared at him, not hiding the fear
that was starting to grow on her face. He felt
a cold chill deep in his stomach, and it grew
until it passed through his throat and into his head. Yeah,
he said, some day maybe, but not you, not anyone
who's just playing games. That's all you want, something to

(23:56):
tell your friends about. That's why you volunteered for tonight's assignment.
It's all you can do to keep from laughing at me,
but you're sticking to it. I don't want any of it,
hear me. Get away. She stepped back a pace. You ugly,
clumsy clown, You ape tears began to spoil the flawless
mask of her face. Blinded with anger, he grabbed roughly

(24:18):
for her arm, but she broke away and dashed back inside.
She was trying to collect me, he thought, her hobby
interesting dates she wanted to add me to her collection
an experience. Calmly, he walked to the end of the
veranda and stared off into the night. Choking his rage.
He watched the moon making its dead ride across the
sky and stared at the sprinkling of stars. The night

(24:41):
was empty and cold, he thought, finally, but not more
so than I. He turned and looked back through the
half opened window. He saw a girl who looked almost
like her, but was not tall enough and wore a
different dress. Then he spotted her. She was dancing with
one of the conforms, a frail looking man a few
inches shorter than she. She with regular handsome features. She

(25:03):
laughed at some sly joke, and he laughed with her.
Ralph watched the moon for a moment more, thinking of
Lany's warning. They just want to make fun of you.
Look at the big ape, they'll say. He knew he
had to get out of there immediately. He was a
spacer and they were earthers, and he scorned them for
being contemptuous little dolls, and they laughed at him for

(25:23):
being a hulking ape. He was not a member of
their species. He was not part of their world. He
went inside. Cal Quinton came rushing up to him. I'm going,
Rolf said, what you don't mean that? The little man said, why.
The party's scarcely gotten underway, and there are dozens of
people who want to meet you, and you'll miss the
big show if you don't stay. I've already seen the

(25:46):
big show. Ralph told him, I want out now. You
can't leave now, Quinton said, Ralph thought he saw tears
in the corners of the little man's eyes. Please don't leave.
I've told everyone you'd be here. You'll disgrace me. What
do I care? Let me out of here. Ralph started
to move toward the door. Quintin attempted to push him back.

(26:07):
Just a minute, Ralph, Please, I have to get out,
he said. He knocked Quinton out of his way with
a backhand swipe of his arm and dashed down the
hall frantically looking for the elevator. Laney and Canaday were
sitting up waiting for him. When he got back early
in the morning. He slung himself into a pneumochair and
unsealed his boots, releasing his cramped, tired feet. Well. Laney asked,

(26:30):
how is the party. You have fun among the earthers, Ralph,
he said nothing. It couldn't have been that bad, Laney said.
Ralph looked up at her. I'm leaving space. I'm going
to go to a surgeon and have him turn me
into an earther. I hate this filthy life. He's drunk,
Cannaday said, no, I'm not drunk. Ralph retorted, I don't

(26:52):
want to be an ape anymore. Is that what you are?
If you're an ape, What are they to you? Monkeys?
Cannaday laughed hard. Are they really so wonderful? Laney asked?
Does the life appeal to you so much that you'd
give up space for it? Do you admire the earthers
so much? She's got me? Ralph thought, I hate spacer Town,

(27:13):
But will I like Yawk any better? Do? I really
want to become one of those little puppets? But there's
nothing left in space for me. At least the earthers
are happy. I wish she wouldn't look at me that way.
Leave me alone, he snarled. I'll do whatever I want
to do. Laney was staring at him, trying to poke
behind his mask of anger. He looked at her wide shoulders,

(27:34):
her muscular frame, her unbeautiful hair, and rugged face, and
compared it with Joanie's clinging grace, her flowing gold hair.
He picked up his boots and stumped up to bed.
The surgeon's name was gold Ring, and he was a wiry,
intense man who had prevailed on one of his colleagues
to give him a tiny slit of a mouth. He
sat behind a shining plaster line desk, waiting patiently until

(27:57):
Ralph finished talking. It can't be done, he said at last.
Plastic surgeons can do almost anything, but I can't turn
you into an earther. It's not just a matter of
chopping eight or ten inches out of your legs. I'd
have to alter your entire bone structure, or you'd be
a hideous, misproportioned monstrosity. And it can't be done. I
can't build you a whole new body from scratch, and

(28:19):
if I could do it, you wouldn't be able to
afford it. Rolf stamped his foot impatiently. You're the third
surgeon who's given me the same line. What is this
a conspiracy? I see what you can do. If you
can graft a third arm onto somebody, you can turn
me into an earther. Please, mister Decker, I've told you
I can't, but I don't understand why you want such

(28:39):
a change. Hardly a week goes by without some yawk
boy coming to me and asking to be turned into
a spacer, and I have to refuse him for the
same reasons I'm refusing you. That's the usual course of events,
the romantic earther boy wanting to go to space and
not being able to an idea hit Rolf was one
of them. Cal Quinton, I'm sorry, Decker, I just can't

(29:00):
divulge any such information. Ralph shot his arm across the
desk and grasped the surgeon by the throat. Answer me, yes,
Quentin asked me for such an operation almost everyone wants
won and you can't do it, Ralph asked, of course not.
I've told you the amount of work needed to turn
earther into spacer or spacer into earther is inconceivable. It'll

(29:23):
never be done. I guess that's definite, then, Ralph said,
slumping a little in disappointment. But there's nothing to prevent
you from giving me a new face, from taking away
this face and replacing it with something people can look
at without shuddering. I don't understand you, mister Decker, the
surgeon said, I know that. Can't you see it? I'm ugly?

(29:44):
Why why should I look this way? Please calm down,
mister Decker. You don't seem to realize that you're a
perfectly normal looking spacer. You were bred to look this way.
It's your genetic heritage. Space is not a thing for everyone.
Only men with extraordinary bone struck can withstand acceleration. The
first men were carefully selected and bred. You see the

(30:05):
result of five centuries of this sort of breeding. The sturdy,
heavy boned spacers. You, mister Decker, and your friends are
the only ones who are fit to travel in space.
The others, the weaklings, like myself, the little people, resort
to plastic surgery to compensate for their deficiency. For a while,
the trend was to have everyone conformed to a certain
standard of beauty. If we couldn't be strong, we could

(30:27):
at least be handsome. Lately, a new theory of individualism
has sprung up, and now we strive for original forms
in our bodies. This is all because size and strength
has been bred out of us and given to you.
I know all this. Ralph said, Why can't you Why
can't I peel away your natural face and make you
look like an earther? There's no reason why. It would

(30:49):
be a simple operation. But who would you fool? Why
can't you be grateful for what you are? You can
go to Mars while we can merely look at it.
If I gave you a new face, it would cut
you off from both sides. The earthers would still know
you were a spacer, and I'm sure other spacers would
immediately cease to associate with you. Who are you to
say you're not supposed to pass judgment on whether an

(31:12):
operation should be performed, or you wouldn't pull out people's
eyes and stick diamonds in. It's not that, mister Decker.
The surgeon folded and unfolded his hands in impatience. You
must realize that you are what you are. Your appearance
is a social norm, and for acceptance in your social environment,
you must continue to appear well. Perhaps shall I say

(31:33):
ape like? It was as bad a word as the
surgeon could have chosen. Ape ape am I I'll show
you who's an ape. Ralph yelled, all the accumulated frustration
of the last two days suddenly bursting loose. He leaped
up and overturned the desk. Doctor Goldring hastily jumped backwards
as the heavy desk crashed to the floor. A startled

(31:55):
nurse dashed into the office, saw the situation and immediately
ran out, give me your instruments. I'll operate on myself.
He knocked gold Ring against the wall, pulled down a
costly solidograph from the wall, and kicked it at him
and crashed through into the operating room, where he began
overturning tables and heaving chairs through glass shelves. I'll show you,

(32:15):
he said. He cracked an instrument case and took out
a delicate knife with a near microscopic edge. He bent
it in half and threw the crumpled wreckage away wildly.
He destroyed everything he could, raging from one end of
the room to the other, ripping down, furnishing, smashing, destroying.
While doctor Goldring stood at the door and yelled for help,
it was not long in coming. An army of earther

(32:37):
policemen erupted into the room and confronted him as he
stood panting amid the wreckage. They were all short men,
but there must have been twenty of them. Don't shoot him,
some one called, and then they advanced in a body.
He picked up the operating table and hurled it at them.
Three policemen crumpled under it, but the rest kept coming.
He battled them away like insects, but they surrounded him

(32:58):
and piled on. For a few moments. He struggled under
the load of fifteen small men, punching and kicking and yelling.
He burst loose for an instant, but two of them
were clinging to his legs and he hit the floor
with a crash. They were on him immediately, and he
stopped struggling after a while. The next thing he knew,
he was lying sprawled on the floor of his room
in Spacer Town, breathing dust out of the tattered carpet.

(33:21):
He was quite a mass of cuts and bruises, and
he knew that they must have given him quite a
going over. He was sore from head to foot. So
they hadn't arrested him, no, of course, not, no more
than they would arrest any wild animal who went berserk.
They had just dumped him back in the jungle. He
tried to get up, but couldn't make it. Quite a

(33:41):
going over, it must have been. Nothing seemed broken, but
everything was slightly bent. Satisfied now, said a voice from somewhere.
It was a pleasant sound to hear a voice, and
he let the mere noise of its soak into his mind.
Now that you've proved to everyone that you really aren't
just an ape, did his neck around slowly because his

(34:02):
neck was stiff and sore. Laney was sitting on the
edge of his bed with two suitcases next to her.
It really wasn't necessary to run wild there, she said.
The earthers all knew you were just an animal anyway.
You didn't have to prove it so violently. Okay, lady,
quit it if you want me to. I just wanted
to make sure you knew what had happened. A gang

(34:23):
of earther cops brought you back a while ago and
dumped you here. They told me the story. Leave me alone.
You've been telling everyone that all along, Ralph. Look where
it got you, a royal beating at the hands of
a bunch of earthers. Now that they've thrown you out
for the last time, has it filtered into your mind
that this is where you belong in spac or town

(34:45):
only between trips, you belong in space, Ralph. No surgeon
can make you an earther. The earthers are dead, but
they just don't know it yet. All their parties, their
fancy clothes, their extra arms and missing ears. That means
they're decadent. They're f You're the one who's alive. The
whole universe is waiting for you to go out and
step on its neck, and instead you want to turn

(35:07):
yourself into a green skinned little monkey. Why he pulled
himself to a sitting position, I don't know, he said,
I've been all mixed up. I think he felt his
powerful arm. I'm a spacer. Suddenly he glanced at her.
What are the suitcases for? He said, I'm moving in.
Laney said, I need a place to sleep. What's the

(35:30):
matter with Cannaday? Did he get tired of listening to
you preaching? He's my friend, Laney. I'm not going to
do him dirt. He's dead. Ralph. When the earther cops
came here to bring you back and he saw what
they did to you, his hatred overflowed. He always hated
Earther's and he hated them even more for the way
you were being tricked into thinking that they were worth anything.
He got hold of one of those cops and just

(35:51):
about twisted him into pieces. They blasted him. Ralph was silent.
He let his head sink down on his knees. So
I moved down here. It's lonely upstairs. Now come on,
I'll help you get up. She walked toward him, hooked
her hand under his arm, and half dragged, half pushed
him to his feet. Her touch was firm, and there
was no denying the strength behind her. I I have

(36:14):
to get fixed up, he said abruptly. My leave's up
in two days. I have to get out of here.
We're shipping for Pluto. He rocked unsteadily on his feet.
It'll really get lonely here, then, he said, are you
really going to go? Or are you going to find
some jack surgeon who will make your face pretty for
a few dirty credits. Stop it, I mean it, I'm going.

(36:34):
I'll be going a year on this sign up. By then,
I'll have enough cash piled up on various planets to
be a rich man. I'll get it all together and
get a mansion on Venus and have greeny slaves. It
was getting toward noon. The sun high in the sky,
burst through the shutters and lit up the dingy room.
I'll stay here, Lany said, you're going to Pluto. He nodded.

(36:55):
Cannedy was supposed to be going to Pluto. He was
heading there when that explosion finished his foot. He never
got there after that, poor old cannedy. Ralph said, I'll
miss him too. I guess I'll have to run the
boarding house now for a while. Will you come back
here when you're year's up. I suppose so, Ralph said,
without looking up. This town is no worse than any

(37:17):
of the other Spacer towns. No better, but no worse.
He slowly lifted his head and looked at her as
she stood there facing him. I hope you come back,
she said. The sun was coming in from behind her
now and lighting her up. She was rugged, all right,
and strong, a good hard worker, and she was well built.
Suddenly his aches became less painful, and he looked at

(37:38):
her and realized that she was infinitely more beautiful than
the slick, glossy looking girl he had kissed on the Verandah,
who had bought her teeth at a store and had
gotten her figure from a surgeon. Laney at least was real,
you know, he said, at last, I think I have
an idea. You wait here, and I'll come to get you.
When my year's up. I'll have enough to pay passage

(38:00):
to Venus for two. We can get a slightly smaller
mansion than I planned on getting, but we can get it.
Some parts of Venus are beautiful, and the closest those
monkeys from yok can get to it is to look
at it in the night sky. You think it's a
good idea. I think it's a great idea, she said,
moving toward him. Her head was nearly as high as
his own. I'll go back to space. I have to

(38:22):
to keep my rating. But you'll wait for me, won't you.
I'll wait, And as he drew her close, he knew
she meant it. And of the Happy Unfortunate by Robert
Silverberg