Joseph Conrad - "The Secret Sharer" - 1910 - Classic Short Stories - AI Narrator

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Joseph Conrad, The Secret Sharer, published in nineteen ten, Chapter one.
On my right hand there were lines of fishing stakes
resembling a mysterious system of half submerged bamboo fences, incomprehensible
in its division of the domain of tropical fishes, and
crazy of aspect, as if abandoned forever by some nomad

(00:23):
tribe of fishermen now gone to the other end of
the ocean, For there was no sign of human habitation
as far as the eye could reach. To the left,
a group of barren islets suggesting ruins of stone walls,
towers and block houses, had its foundations set in a
blue sea that itself looked solid, So still and stable
did it lie below my feet. Even the track of

(00:46):
light from the westering sun shone smoothly, without that animated
glitter which tells of an imperceptible ripple. And when I
turned my head to take a parting glance at the
tug which had just left us anchored outside the bar,
I saw the straight line of the flat shore joined
to the stable sea, edge to edge, with a perfect
and unmarked closeness. In one leveled floor, half brown, half blue,

(01:09):
under the enormous dome of the sky, corresponding in their
insignificance to the islets of the sea. Two small clumps
of trees, one on each side of the only fault
in the impeccable joint, marked the mouth of the river Maynam.
We had just left on the first preparatory stage of
our homeward journey, and far back on the inland level,

(01:29):
a larger and loftier mass, the grove surrounding the great
pac Non Pagoda, was the only thing on which the
eye could rest from the vain task of exploring the
monotonous sweep of the horizon. Here in their gleams as
of a few scattered pieces of silver marked the windings
of the great river, and on the nearest of them,
just within the bar, the tug steaming right into the

(01:50):
land became lost to my sight, hull and funnel and masts,
as though the impassive earth had swallowed her up without
an effort, without a tremor. My eye followed the light
cloud of her smoke, now here now there above the plain,
according to the devious curves of the stream, but always
fainter and farther away, till I lost it at last

(02:11):
behind the miter shaped hill of the Great Pagoda. And
then I was left alone with my ship anchored at
the head of the Gulf of Siam. She floated, at
the starting point of a long journey, very still, in
an immense stillness. The shadows of her spars flung far
to the eastward by the setting sun. At that moment
I was alone on her decks. There was not a

(02:34):
sound in her and around us nothing moved, nothing lived,
not a canoe on the water, not a bird in
the air, not a cloud in the sky. In this
breathless pause, at the threshold of a long passage, we
seemed to be measuring our fitness for a long and
arduous enterprise, the appointed task of both our existences, to
be carried out far from all human eyes, with only

(02:56):
sky and sea for spectators and for judges. There must
have been some glare in the air to interfere with
one sight, because it was only just before the sun
left us that my roaming eyes made out beyond the
highest ridges of the principal islet of the group, something
which did away with the solemnity of perfect solitude. The
tide of darkness flowed on swiftly and with tropical suddenness.

(03:20):
A swarm of stars came out above the shadowy earth
while I lingered yet, my hand resting lightly on my
ship's rail, as if on the shoulder of a trusted friend.
But with all that multitude of celestial bodies staring down
at one, the comfort of quiet communion with her was
gone for good. And there were also disturbing sounds by

(03:40):
this time, voices, footsteps forward the steward flitted along the
main deck, a busily ministering spirit. A hand bell tinkled
urgently under the poop deck. I found my two officers
waiting for me near the supper table in the lighted cutty.
We sat down at once, and as I helped the
chief made I said, are you aware that there is

(04:03):
a ship anchored inside the islands? I saw her mastheads
above the ridge as the sun went down. He raised sharply,
his simple face overcharged by a terrible growth of whisker,
and emitted his usual ejaculations. Bless my soul, sir, you
don't say so. My second mate was a round cheeked,

(04:26):
silent young man, grave beyond his years, I thought. But
as our eyes happened to meet, I detected a slight
quiver on his lips. I looked down at once. It
was not my part to encourage sneering on board my ship.
It must be said, too, that I knew very little
of my officers, in consequence of certain events of no

(04:47):
particular significance except to myself. I had been appointed to
the command only a fortnight before. Neither did I know
much of the hands forward. All these people had been
to get for eighteen months or so, and my position
was that of the only stranger on board. I mention
this because it has some bearing on what is to follow.

(05:09):
But what I felt most was my being a stranger
to the ship. And if all the truth must be told,
I was somewhat of a stranger to myself, the youngest
man on board, barring the second mate, and untried as
yet by a position of the fullest responsibility. I was
willing to take the adequacy of the others, for granted,

(05:30):
they had simply to be equal to their tasks. But
I wondered how far I should turn out faithful to
that ideal conception of one's own personality every man sets
up for himself secretly. Meantime, the chief mate, with an
almost visible effect of collaboration on the part of his
round eyes and frightful Whiskers was trying to evolve a
theory of the anchored ship. His dominant trait was to

(05:54):
take all things into earnest consideration. He was of a
painstaking turn of mind, as he used to say, he
liked to account to himself for practically everything that came
in his way, down to a miserable scorpion he had
found in his cabin a week before. The why and
the wherefore of that scorpion, how it got on board

(06:14):
and came to select his room rather than the pantry,
which was a dark place, and more what a scorpion
would be partial to, and how on earth it managed
to drown itself in the inkwell of his writing desk
had exercised him infinitely. The ship within the islands was
much more easily accounted for, And just as we were
about to rise from table, he made his pronouncement. She was,

(06:36):
he doubted, not a ship from home lately arrived. Probably
she drew too much water to cross the bar except
at the top of spring tides. Therefore she went into
that natural harbor to wait for a few days, in
preference to remaining in an open Roadstead, that's so confirmed.
The second mate suddenly, in his slightly hoarse voice, she

(07:00):
draws over twenty feet she's the Liverpool ship Sephora, with
a cargo of coal, hundred and twenty three days from Cardiff.
We looked at him in surprise. The tugboat skipper told
me when he came on board for your letters, Sir
explained the young man, he expects to take her up

(07:20):
the river the day after tomorrow. After thus overwhelming us
with the extent of his information, he slipped out of
the cabin. The mate observed regretfully that he could not
account for that young fellow's whims. What prevented him telling
us all about it at once? He wanted to know.
I detained him as he was making a move. For

(07:42):
the last two days, the crew had had plenty of
hard work, and the night before they had very little sleep.
I felt painfully that I, a stranger, was doing something unusual.
When I directed him to let all hands turn in
without setting an anchor watch. I proposed to keep on
deck myself till one o'clock or thereabouts. I would get
the second mate to relieve me. At that hour. He

(08:06):
will turn out the cook and the steward at four,
I concluded, and then give you a call. Of course,
at the slightest sign of any sort of wind, will
have the hands up and make a start at once.
He concealed his astonishment very well, sir. Outside the cutty,
he put his head in the second mate's door to

(08:27):
inform him of my unheard of caprice to take a
five hours anchor watch on myself. I heard the other
raise his voice incredulously, what the captain himself? Then a
few more murmurs, A door closed, then another. A few
moments later I went on deck. My strangeness, which had

(08:48):
made me sleepless, had prompted that unconventional arrangement, as if
I had expected, in those solitary hours of the night
to get on terms with the ship of which I
knew nothing, manned by men of whom I knew very
little more fast alongside a wharf, littered like any ship
in port, with a tangle of unrelated things, invaded by
unrelated shore people. I had hardly seen her yet properly. Now,

(09:12):
as she lay cleared for sea, the stretch of her
main deck seemed to me very fine under the stars,
very fine, very roomy for her size, and very inviting.
I descended the poop and paced the waist, my mind
picturing to myself the coming passage through the Malay Archipelago,
down the Indian Ocean, and up the Atlantic. All its

(09:34):
phases were familiar enough to me, every characteristic, all the
alternatives which were likely to face me on the high seas,
everything except the novel responsibility of command. But I took
heart from the reasonable thought that the ship was like
other ships, the men like other men, and that the
sea was not likely to keep any special surprises. Expressly

(09:55):
for my discomfiture. Arrived at that comforting conclusion, I bethought
myself of a cigar and went below to get it.
All was still down there. Everybody at the after end
of the ship was sleeping profoundly. I came out again
on the quarter deck, agreeably at ease in my sleeping
suit on that warm, breathless night, barefooted, a glowing cigar

(10:18):
in my teeth, and going forward, I was met by
the profound silence of the fore end of the ship.
Only as I passed the door of the forecastle I
heard a deep, quiet, trustful sigh of some sleeper inside,
and Suddenly I rejoiced in the great security of the sea,
as compared with the unrest of the land, in my

(10:38):
choice of that untempted life, presenting no disquieting problems, invested
with an elementary moral beauty by the absolute straightforwardness of
its appeal and by the singleness of its purpose. The
riding light in the fore rigging burned with a clear, untroubled,
as if symbolic flame, confident and bright in the mysterious
shades of the night. Passing on my way aft along

(11:01):
the other side of the ship, I observed that the
rope side ladder put over no doubt for the master
of the tug, when he came to fetch away our
letters had not been hauled in as it should have been.
I became annoyed at this, for exactitude in some small
matters is the very soul of discipline. Then I reflected
that I had myself peremptorily dismissed my officers from duty,

(11:24):
and by my own act, had prevented the anchor watch
being formally set and things properly attended to. I asked
myself whether it was wise ever to interfere with the
established routine of duties. Even from the kindest of motives,
my action might have made me appear eccentric. Goodness only
knew how that absurdly whiskered mate would account for my conduct,

(11:46):
and what the whole ship thought of that informality of
their new captain. I was vexed with myself, not from compunction, certainly,
but as it were mechanically, I proceeded to get the
ladder in myself. Now, a side ladder of that sort
is a light affair and comes in easily. Yet my
vigorous tug, which should have brought it flying on board,

(12:07):
merely recoiled upon my body in a totally unexpected jerk.
What the devil. I was so astounded by the immovableness
of that ladder that I remained stock still, trying to
account for it to myself, like that imbecile made of mine.
In the end, of course, I put my head over
the rail. The side of the ship made an opaque

(12:30):
belt of shadow on the darkling, glassy shimmer of the sea.
But I saw at once something elongated and pale, floating
very close to the ladder. Before I could form a guess,
a faint flash of phosphorescent light, which seemed to issue
suddenly from the naked body of a man flickered in
the sleeping water with the elusive, silent play of summer
lightning in a night sky. With a gasp, I saw

(12:54):
revealed to my stare a pair of feet, the long legs,
a broad, livid back, immersed right up to the neck
in a greenish, cadaverous glow. One hand, a wash clutched
the bottom rung of the ladder. He was complete, but
for the head, a headless corpse. The cigar dropped out
of my gaping mouth with a tiny PLoP and a

(13:15):
short hiss, quite audible in the absolute stillness of all
things under heaven. At that, I suppose he raised up
his face, a dimly pale oval in the shadow of
the ship's side, But even then I could only barely
make out down there the shape of his black haired head. However,
it was enough for the horrid frost bound sensation which

(13:36):
had gripped me about the chest, to pass off. The
moment of vain exclamations was past two. I only climbed
on the spare spar and leaned over the rail as
far as I could to bring my eyes nearer to
that mystery floating alongside as he hung by the ladder
like a resting swimmer. The sea lightning played about his

(13:57):
limbs at every stir, and he appeared in it ghastly
silvery fish like. He remained as mute as a fish too.
He made no motion to get out of the water either.
It was inconceivable that he should not attempt to come
on board, and strangely troubling to suspect that perhaps he
did not want to. And my first words were prompted

(14:19):
by just that troubled incertitude. What's the matter, I asked,
in my ordinary tone, speaking down to the face up,
turned exactly under mine cramp. It answered no, louder, then
slightly anxious, I say, no need to call any one.

(14:40):
I was not going to. I said, are you alone
on deck? Yes? I had somehow the impression that he
was on the point of letting go, the latter to
swim away beyond my ken mysterious as he came, but
for the moment this being appearing as if he had
risen from the bottom of the sea. It was certainly

(15:00):
the nearest land to the ship. Wanted only to know
the time, I told him, and he down there tentatively.
I suppose your captain's turned in. I am sure he
isn't I said? He seemed to struggle with himself, for
I heard something like the low, bitter murmur of doubt.

(15:23):
What's the good? His next words came out with a
hesitating effort. Look here, my man, could you call him out? Quietly?
I thought the time had come to declare myself. I
am the captain. I heard a by jove whispered at
the level of the water. The phosphorescence flashed in the

(15:46):
swirl of the water all about his limbs. His other
hand seized the latter. My name's Leggett. The voice was
calm and resolute, a good voice. The self possession of
that man had somehow induced a corresponding state in myself.
It was very quietly that I remarked, you must be

(16:08):
a good swimmer. Yes, I've been in the water practically
since nine o'clock. The question for me now is whether
I am to let go this ladder and go on
swimming till I sink from exhaustion, or to come on
board here. I felt this was no mere formula of
desperate speech, but a real alternative in the view of

(16:30):
a strong soul. I should have gathered from this that
he was young. Indeed, it is only the young who
are ever confronted by such clear issues. But at the
time it was pure intuition on my part. A mysterious
communication was established already between us two in the face
of that silent, dark and tropical sea. I was young,

(16:52):
too young enough to make no comment. The man in
the water began suddenly to climb up the ladder, and
I hastened away from the rail to fetch some clothes
before entering the cabin. I stood still, listening in the
lobby at the foot of the stairs. A faint snore
came through the closed door of the chief mate's room.

(17:13):
The second mate's door was on the hook, but the
darkness in there was absolutely soundless. He too was young
and could sleep like a stone. Remained the steward, but
he was not likely to wake up before he was called.
I got a sleeping suit out of my room, and
coming back on deck, saw the naked man from the

(17:34):
sea sitting on the main hatch, glimmering white in the darkness,
his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
In a moment, he had concealed his damp body in
a sleeping suit of the same gray striped pattern as
the one I was wearing, and followed me like my
double on the poop. Together we moved right aft, barefooted, silent.

(17:55):
What is it? I asked in a deadened voice, taking
the lighted lanthamp out of the binnacle and raising it
to his face. An ugly business. He had rather regular features,
a good mouth, light eyes under somewhat heavy dark eyebrows,
a smooth, square forehead, no growth on his cheeks, a

(18:17):
small brown mustache, and a well shaped round chin. His
expression was concentrated, meditative under the inspecting light of the
lamp I held up to his face, such as a
man thinking hard in solitude might wear. My sleeping suit
was just right for his size. A well knit young
fellow of twenty five at most, He caught his lower

(18:40):
lip with the edge of white even teeth. Yes, I said,
replacing the lamp in the binnacle. The warm, heavy tropical
night closed upon his head again. There's a ship over there,
he murmured, Yes, I know, the cephora. Did you know
of a us? Hadn't the slightest idea I am the

(19:04):
mate of her? He paused and corrected himself. I should
say I was aha something wrong, Yes, very wrong. Indeed
I've killed a man. What do you mean just now?
No on the passage weeks ago thirty nine south, When

(19:30):
I say a man fit of temper, I suggested confidently,
the shadowy dark head like mine, seemed to nod imperceptibly
above the ghostly gray of my sleeping suit. It was
in the night, as though I had been faced by
my own reflection in the depths of a somber and
immense mirror. A pretty thing to have to own up

(19:52):
to for a Conway boy, murmured my double distinctly. You're
a Conway boy, I am, he said, as if startled,
then slowly, perhaps you too. It was so, but being
a couple of years older, I had left before he joined.
After a quick interchange of dates, a silence fell, and

(20:14):
I thought, suddenly of my absurd mate with his terrific whiskers,
and they'll bless my soul. You don't say so type
of intellect. My double gave me an inkling of his
thoughts by saying, my father's a parson in Norfolk. Do
you see me before a judge and jury? On that
charge for myself. I can't see the necessity. There are

(20:36):
fellows that an angel from heaven, and I am not
that he was one of those creatures that are just
simmering all the time with a silly sort of wickedness,
miserable devils that have no business to live at all.
He wouldn't do his duty, and wouldn't let anybody else
do theirs. But what's the good of talking. You know

(20:56):
well enough the sort of ill conditioned, snarling cur he
appealed to me, as if our experiences had been as
identical as our clothes. And I knew well enough the
pestiferous danger of such a character where there are no
means of legal repression. And I knew well enough also
that my double there was no homicidal ruffian. I did

(21:17):
not think of asking him for details, and he told
me the story roughly in brusque, disconnected sentences. I needed
no more. I saw it all going on as though
I were myself inside that other sleeping suit. It happened
while we were setting a reefed Forcile. At dusk reefed Forsile.

(21:37):
You understand the sort of weather. The only sail we
had left to keep the ship running so you may
guess what it had been like for days, anxious sort
of job that he gave me some of his cursed
insolence at the sheet. I tell you I was overdone
with this terrific weather that seemed to have no end
to it. Terrific, I tell you, an a deep ship.

(22:00):
I believe the fellow himself was half crazed with funk.
It was no time for gentlemanly reproof. So I turned
round and felled him like an ox. He up and
at me. We closed, just as an awful sea made
for the ship. All hands saw it coming and took
to the rigging, but I had him by the throat

(22:20):
and went on shaking him like a rat. The men
above us yelling, look out, look out. Then a crash,
as if the sky had fallen on my head. They
say that for over ten minutes hardly anything was to
be seen of the ship, just the three masts and
a bit of the forecastle head, and of the poop,
all a wash driving along in a smother of foam.

(22:42):
It was a miracle that they found us jammed together
behind the four bits. It's clear that I meant business,
because I was holding him by the throat still when
they picked us up, he was black in the face.
It was too much for them, it seems. They rushed
us aft together, gripped as we were, screaming murder like
a lot of lunatics, and broke into the cuddy and

(23:06):
the ship running for her life, touch and go all
the time, any minute her last in a sea fit
to turn your hair gray. Only a looking at it,
I understand that the skipper, too, started raving like the
rest of them. The man had been deprived of sleep
for more than a week, and to have this sprung
on him at the height of a furious gale nearly

(23:26):
drove him out of his mind. I wonder they didn't
fling me overboard after getting the carcass of their precious
shipmate out of my fingers. They had rather a job
to separate us. I've been told a sufficiently fierce story
to make an old judge and a respectable jury sit
up a bit. The first thing I heard when I

(23:46):
came to myself was the maddening howling of that endless gale,
and on that the voice of the old man. He
was hanging on to my bunk, staring into my face
out of his so wester mister Leggett, you have killed
a man. You can act no longer as chief mate
of this ship. His care to subdue his voice made

(24:08):
it sound monotonous. He rested a hand on the end
of the skylight to steady himself with and all that
time did not stir a limb so far as I
could see. Nice little tale for a quiet tea party.
He concluded in the same tone. One of my hands
two rested on the end of the skylight. Neither did

(24:28):
I stir a limb so far as I knew. We
stood less than a foot from each other. It occurred
to me that if Old bless my soul, you don't
say so, were to put his head up the companion
and catch sight of us, he would think he was
seeing double, or imagine himself come upon a scene of
weird witchcraft, the strange captain having a quiet confabulation by

(24:49):
the wheel with his own gray ghost. I became very
much concerned to prevent anything of the sort. I heard
the other's soothing undertone. My f a parson in Norfolk,
it said, evidently he had forgotten he had told me
this important fact before. Truly a nice little tale, you

(25:11):
had better slip down into my stateroom now, I said,
moving off stealthily. My double followed my movements. Our bare
feet made no sound. I let him in, closed the
door with care, and, after giving a call to the
second mate, returned on deck for my relief. Not much
sign of any wind yet, I remarked when he approached. No, sir,

(25:35):
not much, He assented, sleepily in his hoarse voice, with
just enough deference, no more, and barely suppressing a yawn.
Well that's all you have to look out for. You
have got your orders, yes, sir. I paced a turn
or two on the poop and saw him take up

(25:55):
his position, face forward with his elbow in the ratlands
of the Mizzen rigging. Before I went below, the mate's
faint snoring was still going on peacefully. The cutty lamp
was burning over the table, on which stood a vase
with flowers. A polite attention from the ship's provision merchant,
the last flowers we should see for the next three months.
At the very least, two bunches of bananas hung from

(26:18):
the beam symmetrically, one on each side of the rudder casing.
Everything was as before in the ship, except that two
of her captain's sleeping suits were simultaneously in use, one
motionless in the cutty, the other keeping very still in
the captain's state room. It must be explained here that
my cabin had the form of the capital letter L,

(26:39):
the door being within the angle and opening into the
short part of the letter. A couch was to the left,
the bed placed to the right. My writing desk and
the chronometer's table faced the door, But anyone opening it,
unless he stepped right inside, had no view of what
I call the long or vertical part of the letter.

(26:59):
It contained some lockers surmounted by a bookcase, and a
few clothes a thick jacket or two caps, oilskin coat
and suchlike, hung on hooks. There was at the bottom
of that parted door opening into my bathroom, which could
be entered also directly from the saloon, but that way
was never used. The mysterious arrival had discovered the advantage

(27:23):
of this particular shape, entering my room, lighted strongly by
a big bulkhead lamp swung on jimbles above my writing desk,
I did not see him anywhere till he stepped out
quietly from behind the coats hung in the recessed part.
I heard somebody moving about and went in there at once.
He whispered, I too, spoke under my breath. Nobody is

(27:47):
likely to come in here without knocking and getting permission.
He nodded. His face was thin and the sunburn faded,
as though he had been ill, and no wonder he
had been, I heard presently kept under arrest in his
cabin for nearly seven weeks. But there was nothing sickly

(28:07):
in his eyes or in his expression. He was not
a bit like me, really. Yet, as we stood leaning
over my bed place, whispering side by side, with our
dark heads together and our backs to the door, anybody
bold enough to open it stealthily would have been treated
to the uncanny sight of a double captain, busy talking
in whispers with his other self. But all this doesn't

(28:30):
tell me how you came to hang on to our
side ladder. I inquired in the hardly audible murmurs we used,
after he had told me something more of the proceedings
on board the Saphora. Once the bad weather was over,
when we sighted javahead, I had had time to think
all those matters out several times over. I had six
weeks of doing nothing else, and with only an hour

(28:52):
or so every evening for a tramp on the quarter deck.
He whispered, his arms folded on the side of my
bed place, staring through the open port. And I could
imagine perfectly the manner of this, thinking out a stubborn,
if not a steadfast operation, something of which I should
have been perfectly incapable. I reckoned it would be dark

(29:13):
before we closed with the land. He continued so low
that I had to stray my hearing near as we
were to each other, shoulder touching shoulder almost so I
asked to speak to the old man. He always seemed
very sick when he came to see me, as if
he could not look me in the face. You know
that foresil saved the ship. She was too deep to

(29:35):
have run long under bare poles, and it was I
that managed to set it for him. Anyway, he came
when I had him in my cabin. He stood by
the door, looking at me as if I had the
halter round my neck already. I asked him right away
to leave my cabin door unlocked at night. While the
ship was going through Sunda Straits, there would be the

(29:56):
Java coast within two or three miles off Angier. I
wanted nothing more. I've had a prize for swimming my
second year in the Conway. I can believe it, I
breathed out. God only knows why they locked me in
every night. To see some of their faces, you'd have
thought they were afraid I'd go about at night strangling people?

(30:20):
Am I a murdering brute? Do I look it? By jove?
If I had been, he wouldn't have trusted himself like
that into my room. You'll say I might have chucked
him aside and bolted out there, and then it was
dark already. Well, no, and for the same reason. I
wouldn't think of trying to smash the door. There would

(30:43):
have been a rush to stop me at the noise,
and I did not mean to get into a confounded scrimmage.
Somebody else might have got killed, for I would not
have broken out only to get chucked back. And I
did not want any more of that work. He refused,
looking more sick than ever. He was afraid of the men,
and also of that old second mate of his who

(31:04):
had been sailing with him for years, a gray headed
old humbug. And his steward too had been with him
Devil knows how long, seventeen years or more, a dogmatic
sort of loafer who hated me like poison just because
I was the chief mate. No chief mate ever made
more than one voyage in the Sephora, you know, those
two old chaps ran the ship. Devil only knows what.

(31:27):
The skipper wasn't afraid of all. His nerve went to
pieces altogether in that hellish spell of bad weather we
had of what the law would do to him. Of
his wife perhaps, Oh yes, she's on board, though I
don't think she would have meddled. She would have been
only too glad to have me out of the ship.

(31:48):
In any way, the brand of Cain business, don't you see?
That's all right? I was ready enough to go off
wandering on the face of the earth, and that was
price enough to pay for nable of that sort. Anyhow,
he wouldn't listen to me. This thing must take its course.
I represent the law here. He was shaking like a leaf.

(32:13):
So you won't no, then, I hope you will be
able to sleep on that, I said, and turn my
back on him. I wonder that you can, cries he
and locks the door. Well after that, I couldn't not
very well. That was three weeks ago. We have had

(32:34):
a slow passage through the Java Sea, drifted about Karimita
for ten days. When we anchored here, they thought, I
suppose it was all right. The nearest land, and that's
five miles, is the ship's destination. The consul would soon
set about catching me, and there would have been no
object in holding to these islets there. I don't suppose

(32:55):
there's a drop of water on them. I don't know
how it was us, But tonight that steward, after bringing
me my supper, went out to let me eat it
and left the door unlocked, and I ate it all
there was too. After I had finished, I strolled out
on the quarter deck. I don't know that I meant
to do anything. A breath of fresh air was all

(33:18):
I wanted, I believe. Then a sudden temptation came over me.
I kicked off my slippers and was in the water
before I had made up my mind. Fairly somebody heard
the splash, and they raised an awful hullabaloo. He's gone
lower the boats. He's committed suicide. No, he's swimming. Certainly

(33:43):
I was swimming. It's not so easy for a swimmer
like me to commit suicide by drowning. I landed on
the nearest islet before the boat left the ship's side.
I heard them pulling about in the dark, hailing and
so on. But after a bit they gave up. Everything
quieted down, and the anchorage became still as death. I

(34:04):
sat down on a stone and began to think. I
felt certain they would start searching for me at daylight.
There was no place to hide on those stony things,
and if there had been, what would have been the good?
But now I was clear of that ship. I was
not going back, So after a while I took off
all my clothes, tied them up in a bundle with

(34:26):
a stone inside, and dropped them in the deep water
on the outer side of that islet. That was suicide
enough for me. Let them think what they liked. But
I didn't mean to drown myself. I meant to swim
till I sank. But that's not the same thing. I
struck out for another of these little islands, and it

(34:46):
was from that one that I first saw your riding light.
Something to swim for. I went on easily, and on
the way I came upon a flat rock a foot
or two above water in the daytime. I dare say,
you might make it out with a glass from your poop.
I scrambled up on it and rested myself for a bit.

(35:07):
Then I made another start. That last spell must have
been over a mile. His whisper was getting fainter and fainter,
and all the time he stared straight out through the porthole,
in which there was not even a star to be seen.
I had not interrupted him. There was something that made
comment impossible in his narrative, or perhaps in himself, a

(35:29):
sort of feeling, a quality which I can't find a
name for. And when he ceased, all I found was
a feudal whisper. So you swam for a light, yes,
straight for it. It was something to swim for. I
couldn't see any stars low down, because the coast was
in the way, and I couldn't see the land either.

(35:51):
The water was like glass. One might have been swimming
in a confounded, thousand feet deep cistern with no place
for scrambling out anywhere. But what I didn't like was
the notion of swimming round and round like a crazed bullock.
Before I gave out, and as I didn't mean to
go back. No, do you see me being hauled back

(36:11):
stark naked off one of these little islands by the
scruff of the neck and fighting like a wild beast.
Somebody would have got killed, for certain, and I did
not want any of that. So I went on, Then,
your ladder, Why didn't you hail the ship? I asked
a little louder. He touched my shoulder lightly. Lazy footsteps

(36:35):
came right over our heads and stopped. The second mate
had crossed from the other side of the poop and
might have been hanging over the rail for all we knew.
He couldn't hear us talking, could he? My double breathed
into my very ear anxiously. His anxiety was in answer,
a sufficient answer to the question I had put to him,

(36:58):
an answer containing all the difficulty of that situation. I
closed the porthole quietly to make sure a louder word
might have been overheard. Who's that? He whispered, Then my
second mate. But I don't know much more of the
fellow than you do, and I told him a little

(37:19):
about myself. I had been appointed to take charge, while
I least expected anything of the sort, Not quite a
fortnight ago. I didn't know either the ship or the
people hadn't had the time in port to look about
me or size anybody up. And as to the crew,
all they knew was that I was appointed to take
the ship home for the rest. I was almost as

(37:42):
much of a stranger on board as himself, I said,
and at the moment I felt it most acutely. I
felt that it would take very little to make me
a suspect person in the eyes of the ship's company.
He had turned about meantime, and we, the two strangers
in the shop, faced each other in identical attitudes. Your ladder,

(38:05):
he murmured, after a silence. Who'd have thought of finding
a ladder hanging over at night in a ship anchored
out here? I felt just then a very unpleasant faintness.
After the life I've been leading for nine weeks, anybody
would have got out of condition. I wasn't capable of
swimming round as far as your rudder chains, and lo

(38:27):
and behold there was a ladder to get hold of.
After I gripped it, I said to myself, what's the good?
When I saw a man's head looking over, I thought
I would swim away presently and leave him shouting in
whatever language it was. I didn't mind being looked at.
I I liked it. And then you speaking to me

(38:48):
so quietly, as if you had expected me, made me
hold on a little longer. It had been a confounded,
lonely time. I don't mean while swimming. I was glad
to talk a little to somebody that didn't belie longed
to the Sephora. As to asking for the captain, that
was a mere impulse. It could have been no use
with all the ship knowing about me and the other

(39:10):
people pretty certain to be round here in the morning.
I don't know. I wanted to be seen to talk
with somebody before I went on. I don't know what
I would have said, Fine night, isn't it, or something
of the sort. Do you think they will be round
here presently? I asked, with some incredulity. Quite likely, he

(39:32):
said faintly. He looked extremely haggard. All of a sudden
his head rolled on his shoulders. Etchem, we shall see then. Meantime,
get into that bed, I whispered, want help there. It
was a rather high bed place with a set of

(39:54):
drawers underneath. This amazing swimmer really needed the lift I
gave him by seizing his lef. He tumbled in, rolled
over on his back, and flung one arm across his eyes,
and then, with his face nearly hidden, he must have
looked exactly as I used to look in that bed.
I gazed upon my other self for a while before

(40:15):
drawing across carefully the two green serge curtains, which ran
on a brass rod. I thought for a moment of
pinning them together for greater safety, but I sat down
on the couch, and once there I felt unwilling to
rise and hunt for a pin. I would do it
in a moment. I was extremely tired, in a peculiarly

(40:35):
intimate way, by the strain of stealthiness, by the effort
of whispering, and the general secrecy of this excitement. It
was three o'clock by now, and I had been on
my feet since nine, but I was not sleepy. I
could not have gone to sleep. I sat there, fagged out,
looking at the curtains, trying to clear my mind of

(40:56):
the confused sensation of being in two places at once,
and great bothered by an exasperating knocking in my head.
It was a relief to discover suddenly that it was
not in my head at all, but on the outside
of the door. Before I could collect myself, the words
come in were out of my mouth, and the steward
entered with a tray, bringing in my morning coffee. I

(41:18):
had slept after all, and I was so frightened that
I shouted this way, I am here, steward, as though
he had been miles away. He put down the tray
on the table next the couch, and only then said,
very quietly, I can see you are here, sir. I
felt him give me a keen look, but I dared

(41:40):
not meet his eyes. Just then he must have wondered
why I had drawn the curtains of my bed before
going to sleep on the couch. He went out, hooking
the door open as usual. I heard the crew washing
decks above me. I knew I would have been told
at once if there had been any wind calm, I thought,

(42:01):
and I was doubly vexed. Indeed, I felt duel more
than ever. The steward reappeared suddenly in the doorway. I
jumped up from the couch so quickly that he gave
a start. What do you want here? Close your port, sir?
They are washing decks. It is closed, I said, reddening

(42:25):
very well, sir. But he did not move from the doorway,
and returned my stare in an extraordinary equivocal manner for
a time. Then his eyes wavered, all his expression changed, and,
in a voice unusually gentle, almost coaxingly, may I come
in to take the empty cup away? Sir? Of course,

(42:48):
I turned my back on him while he popped in
and out. Then I unhooked and closed the door, and
even pushed the bolt. This sort of thing could not
go on very long. The cab was as hot as
an oven, too. I took a peep at my double
and discovered that he had not moved. His arm was
still over his eyes, but his chest heaved, his hair

(43:09):
was wet, his chin glistened with perspiration. I reached over
him and opened the port. I must show myself on deck,
I reflected. Of course, theoretically I could do what I
liked with no one to say nay to me within
the whole circle of the horizon. But to lock my
cabin door and take the key away I did not dare. Directly.

(43:32):
I put my head out of the companion. I saw
the group of my two officers, the second mate barefooted,
the chief mate in long India rubber boots near the
break of the poop, and the steward half way down
the poop ladder, talking to them eagerly. He happened to
catch sight of me and dived. The second ran down
on the main deck, shouting some order or other, and
the chief mate came to meet me, touching his cap.

(43:57):
There was a sort of curiosity in his eye that
I did not like. I don't know whether the steward
had told them that I was queer only or downright drunk,
but I know the man meant to have a good
look at me. I watched him coming with a smile, which,
as he got into point blank range, took effect and
froze his very whiskers. I did not give him time

(44:18):
to open his lips. Square the yards by lifts and
braces before the hands go to breakfast. It was the
first particular order I had given on board that ship,
and I stayed on deck to see it executed too.
I had felt the need of asserting myself without loss
of time. That sneering young cub got taken down a

(44:39):
peg or two on that occasion, and I also seized
the opportunity of having a good look at the face
of every foremast man, as they filed past me to
go to the after braces at breakfast time, eating nothing myself,
I presided with such frigid dignity that the two mates
were only too glad to escape from the cabin as
soon as decency permitted. And all the time the duel

(45:01):
working of my mind distracted me, almost to the point
of insanity. I was constantly watching myself, my secret self,
as dependent on my actions as my own personality, sleeping
in that bed behind that door which faced me as
I sat at the head of the table. It was
very much like being mad, only it was worse because
one was aware of it. I had to shake him

(45:25):
for a solid minute, But when at last he opened
his eyes, it was in the full possession of his senses,
with an inquiring look. All's well so far, I whispered,
Now you must vanish into the bath room. He did so,
as noiseless as a ghost. And then I rang for
the steward, and, facing him, boldly directed him to tidy

(45:47):
up my stateroom while I was having my bath, and
be quick about it, as my tone admitted of no excuses.
He said, yes, sir, and ran off to fetch his
dust pan and brushes. I took a bath and did
most of my dressing, splashing and whistling softly for the
steward's edification, while the secret sharer of my life stood

(46:08):
drawn up, bolt upright in that little space, his face
looking very sunken in daylight, his eyelids lowered under the
stern dark line of his eyebrows drawn together by a
slight frown. When I left him there to go back
to my room, the steward was finishing dusting. I sent
for the mate and engaged him in some insignificant conversation.

(46:29):
It was, as it were, trifling with the terrific character
of his whiskers. But my object was to give him
an opportunity for a good look at my cabin, and
then I could at last shut, with a clear conscience
the door of my stateroom and get my double back
into the recessed part. There was nothing else for it.
He had to sit still on a small folding stool,

(46:52):
half smothered by the heavy coats hanging there. We listened
to the steward going into the bathroom out of the saloon,
filling the water bottle there, scrubbing the bath, setting things
to rights, whisk bang, clatter out again into the saloon.
Turn the key, click. Such was my scheme for keeping
my second self invisible. Nothing better could be contrived under

(47:15):
the circumstances. And there we sat, I at my writing desk,
ready to appear busy with some papers. He behind me,
out of sight of the door. It would not have
been prudent to talk in daytime, and I could not
have stood the excitement of that queer sense of whispering
to myself now. And then, glancing over my shoulder, I

(47:35):
saw him far back there, sitting rigidly on the low stool,
his bare feet close together, his arms folded, his head
hanging on his breast end perfectly still. Anybody would have
taken him for me. I was fascinated by it myself.
Every moment I had to glance over my shoulder. I

(47:55):
was looking at him when a voice outside the door said, beg, pardon, sir. Well,
I kept my eyes on him, And so when the
voice outside the door announced there's a ship's boat coming
our way, sir, I saw him give a start, the
first movement he had made for hours. But he did
not raise his bowed head. All right, get the latter over,

(48:22):
I hesitated. Should I whisper something to him? But what
his immobility seemed to have been never disturbed? What could
I tell him he did not know already? Finally I
went on deck Chapter two. The skipper of the Saphora
had a thin red whisker all round his face, and

(48:44):
the sort of complexion that goes with hair of that color,
also the particular, rather smeary shade of blue in the eyes.
He was not exactly a showy figure. His shoulders were high,
his stature but middling, one leg slightly more bandy than
the other. He shook hands, looking vaguely around. A spiritless

(49:04):
tenacity was his main characteristic, I judged. I behaved with
a politeness which seemed to disconcert him. Perhaps he was shy.
He mumbled to me, as if he were ashamed of
what he was saying. Gave his name, It was something
like Archbold, but at this distance of years I hardly
am sure his ship's name, and a few other particulars

(49:26):
of that sort. In the manner of a criminal making
a reluctant and doleful confession, he had had terrible weather
on the passage out, terrible terrible wife aboard too. By
this time we were seated in the cabin, and the
steward brought in a tray with a bottle and glasses. Thanks. No,

(49:46):
never took liquor, would have some water, though he drank
two tumblerfuls. Terrible thirsty work. Ever since daylight had been
exploring the islands round his ship. What was that for fun?
I asked, with an appearance of polite interest. No, he

(50:09):
sighed painful duty as he persisted in his mumbling, and
I wanted my double to hear every word. I hit
upon the notion of informing him that I regretted to
say I was hard of hearing such a young man too.
He nodded, keeping his smeary blue, unintelligent eyes fastened upon me.

(50:30):
What was the cause of it? Some disease, he inquired,
without the least sympathy, and as if he thought that
if so, I'd got no more than I deserved. Yes, disease,
I admitted, in a cheerful tone, which seemed to shock him.
But my point was gained because he had to raise
his voice to give me his tale. It is not

(50:51):
worth while to record his version. It was just over
two months since all this had happened, and he had
thought so much about it that he seemed completely muddled
as to its bearings, but still immensely impressed. What would
you think of such a thing happening on board your
own ship. I've had the Sephora for these fifteen years.

(51:12):
I am a well known ship master. He was densely distressed,
and perhaps I should have sympathized with him, if I
had been able to detach my mental vision from the
unsuspected sharer of my cabin as though he were my
second self. There he was on the other side of
the bulkhead, for five feet from us no more. As
we sat in the saloon, I looked politely at Captain Archbold,

(51:36):
if that was his name. But it was the other
I saw, in a gray sleeping suit, seated on a
low stool, his bare feet close together, his arms folded,
and every word said between us falling into the ears
of his dark head bowed on his chest. I have
been at sea, now, man and boy, for seven and
thirty years, and I've never heard of such a thing

(51:58):
happening in an English ship, and that it should be
my ship wife on board too. I was hardly listening
to him. Don't you think I said that the heavy
sea which you told me came aboard just then might
have killed the man. I have seen the sheer weight
of a sea kill a man very neatly, by simply

(52:19):
breaking his neck. Good God, he uttered, impressively, fixing his
smeary blue eyes on me the sea. No man killed
by the sea ever looked like that. He seemed positively
scandalized at my suggestion, and as I gazed at him,
certainly not prepared for anything original on his part, he

(52:41):
advanced his head close to mine and thrust his tongue
out at me so suddenly that I couldn't help starting back.
After scoring over my calmness in this graphic way, he
nodded wisely. If I had seen the sight, he assured me,
I would never forget it as long as I lived.
The weather was too bad to give the corpse a
proper sea burial, so next day at dawn they took

(53:04):
it up on the poop, covering its face with a
bit of bunting. He read a short prayer, and then
just as it was in its oilskins and long boots,
they launched it amongst those mountainous seas that seemed ready
every moment to swallow up the ship herself and the
terrified lives on board of her. That reefed foresil saved you.
I threw in under God, it did, he exclaimed fervently.

(53:29):
It was by a special mercy. I firmly believe that
it stood some of those hurricane squalls. It was the
setting of that sail which I began. God's own hand
in it, he interrupted me. Nothing less could have done it.
I don't mind telling you that I hardly dared give
the order. It seemed impossible that we could touch anything

(53:51):
without losing it, and then our last hope would have
been gone. The terror of that gale was on him.
Yet I let him go on for a bit, then said, casually,
as if returning to a minor subject. You were very
anxious to give up your mate to the shore people.
I believe he was to the law. His obscure tenacity

(54:15):
on that point had in it something incomprehensible and a
little awful, something, as it were, mystical, quite apart from
his anxiety that he should not be suspected of countenancing
any doings of that sort. Seven and thirty virtuous years
at sea, of which over twenty of immaculate command, and
the last fifteen in the Saphora seemed to have laid

(54:35):
him under some pitiless obligation. And you know he went
on groping shamefacedly amongst his feelings. I did not engage
that young fellow. His people had some interest with my owners.
I was in a way forced to take him on.
He looked very smart, very gentlemanly, and all that. But

(54:57):
do you know I never liked him. Somehow, I am
a plain man. You see, he wasn't exactly the sort
for the chief made of a ship like the Sephora.
I had become so connected in thoughts and impressions with
the secret sharer of my cabin that I felt as
if I personally were being given to understand that I,

(55:17):
too was not the sort that would have done for
the chief made of a ship like the Sephora. I
had no doubt of it in my mind, not at
all the style of man, you understand, he insisted, superfluously,
looking hard at me. I smiled urbanely. He seemed at
a loss for a while. I suppose I must report

(55:41):
a suicide. Beg pardon suicide. That's what I'll have to
write to my owners. Directly, I get in unless you
manage to recover him before tomorrow. I assented, dispassionately, I
mean alive. He mumbled something which I really did not catch,

(56:02):
and I turned my ear to him in a puzzled manner.
He fairly bald the land. I say, the mainland is
at least seven miles off my anchorage. About that, my
lack of excitement, of curiosity, of surprise, of any sort
of pronounced interest began to arouse his distrust. But except

(56:24):
for the felicitous pretense of deafness, I had not tried
to pretend anything. I had felt utterly incapable of playing
the part of ignorance properly, and therefore was afraid to try.
It is also certain that he had brought some ready
made suspicions with him, and that he viewed my politeness
as a strange and unnatural phenomenon. And yet how else

(56:45):
could I have received him not heartily? That was impossible,
for psychological reasons which I need not state here. My
only object was to keep off his inquiries. Surlily. Yes,
But surliness might have provoked a point blank question from
its novelty to him, and from its nature punctilious courtesy

(57:08):
was the manner best calculated to restrain the man. But
there was the danger of his breaking through my defense. Bluntly,
I could not, I think, have met him by a
direct lie, also for psychological not moral reasons, if he
had only known how afraid I was of his putting
my feeling of identity with the other to the test.

(57:30):
But strangely enough, I thought of it only afterwards. I
believed that he was not a little disconcerted by the
reverse side of that weird situation, by something in me
that reminded him of the man he was seeking, suggested
a mysterious similitude to the young fellow he had distrusted
and disliked from the first. However that might have been.
The silence was not very prolonged. He took another oblique step.

(57:55):
I reckon, I had no more than a two mile
pull to your ship, not a bit more, and quite
enough too, in this awful heat, I said. Another pause,
full of mistrust, followed necessity they say is mother of invention,
But fear, too, is not barren of ingenious suggestions. And

(58:18):
I was afraid he would ask me point blank for
news of my other self. Nice little saloon, isn't it,
I remarked, as if noticing for the first time the
way his eyes roamed from one closed door to the other.
And very well fitted out too. Here, for instance, I continued,
reaching over the back of my seat negligently and flinging

(58:40):
the door open. Is my bathroom. He made an eager movement,
but hardly gave it a glance. I got up, shut
the door of the bathroom and invited him to have
a look round, as if I were very proud of
my accommodation. He had to rise and be shown round,
but he went through the business without any raptures whatever.

(59:02):
And now we'll have a look at my stateroom, I declared,
in a voice as loud as I dared to make it,
crossing the cabin to the starboard side with purposely heavy steps.
He followed me in and gazed around. My intelligent double
had vanished. I played my part very convenient, I assented,

(59:25):
very nice, very comph He didn't finish and went out brusquely,
as if to escape from some unrighteous whiles of mine.
But it was not to be. I had been too
frightened not to feel vengeful. I felt I had him
on the run, and I meant to keep him on
the run. My polite insistence must have had something menacing

(59:46):
in it, because he gave in suddenly, and I did
not let him off a single item, mate's room, pantry, storerooms,
the very sail locker, which was also under the poop.
He had to look into them all. When at last
I showed him out on the quarter deck, he drew
a long, spiritless sigh and mumbled dismally that he must
really be going back to his ship. Now I desired

(01:00:09):
my mate, who had joined us, to see to the
captain's boat. The man of whiskers gave a blast on
the whistle which he used to wear hanging round his neck,
and yelled Cephoras away. My double down there in my
cabin must have heard, and certainly could not feel more
relieved than I, for fellows came running out from somewhere

(01:00:31):
forward and went over the side, while my own men,
appearing on deck too, lined the rail. I escorted my
visitor to the gangway ceremoniously, and nearly overdid it. He
was a tenacious beast. On the very ladder he lingered,
and in that unique, guiltily conscientious manner of sticking to
the point, I say you, you don't think that, I

(01:00:55):
covered his voice loudly, certainly not. I am delighted good bye.
I had an idea of what he meant to say,
and just saved myself by the privilege of defective hearing.
He was too shaken, generally to insist. But my mate,
close witness of that parting, looked mystified, and his face

(01:01:17):
took on a thoughtful cast as I did not want
to appear as if I wished to avoid all communication
with my officers. He had the opportunity to address me.
Seems a very nice man. His boat's crew told our
chaps a very extraordinary story. If what I am told
by the steward is true, I suppose you had it

(01:01:38):
from the captain, sir. Yes, I had a story from
the captain, A very horrible affair, I ascended, sir. It
is beats all these tales we hear about murders in
Yankee ships. I don't think it beats them. I don't
think it resembles them in the least. Bless my soul.

(01:02:02):
You don't say so, But of course I've no acquaintance
whatever with American ships. Not I so, I couldn't go
against your knowledge. It's horrible enough for me. But the
queerest part is that those fellows seemed to have some
idea the man was hidden aboard here, they had, really,
did you ever hear of such a thing? Preposterousia send it?

(01:02:27):
We were walking to and fro athwart the quarter deck.
No one of the crew forward could be seen. The
day was Sunday, and the mate pursued. There was some
little dispute about it. Our chaps took offense, as if
we would harbor a thing like that. They said, wouldn't
you like to look for him in our coal hole?

(01:02:48):
Quite a tiff, but they made it up in the end.
I suppose he did drown himself, don't you, sir? I
don't suppose anything. You have no doubt in the matter, sir, none.
Whatever I left him, suddenly I felt I was producing

(01:03:10):
a bad impression. But with my double down there, it
was most trying to be on deck, and it was
almost as trying to be below. Altogether a nerve trying situation,
But on the whole I felt less torn in two.
When I was with him. There was no one in
the whole ship whom I dared take into my confidence.
Since the hands had got to know his story, it

(01:03:32):
would have been impossible to pass him off for any
one else, and an accidental discovery was to be dreaded
now more than ever. The steward being engaged in laying
the table for dinner, we could talk only with our eyes.
When I first went down later in the afternoon, we
had a cautious try at whispering. The sunday quietness of

(01:03:53):
the ship was against us, The stillness of air and
water around her was against us. The elements the men
were against us. Every thing was against us in our
secret partnership time itself, for this could not go on forever.
The very trust in providence was I suppose denied to
his guilt. Shall I confess that this thought cast me

(01:04:13):
down very much? And as to the chapter of accidents,
which counts for so much in the book of success,
I could only hope that it was closed, for what
favorable accident could be expected? Did you hear everything? Were
my first words as soon as we took up our position,
side by side, leaning over my bed place he had

(01:04:36):
and the proof of it was his earnest whisper. The
man told you he hardly dared to give the order.
I understood the reference to be to that saving forcil. Yes,
he was afraid of it being lost in the setting.
I assure you he never gave the order. He may
think he did, but he never gave it. He stood

(01:04:59):
there with me on the break of the poop, after
the main topsail blew away, and whimpered about our last hope,
positively whimpered about it and nothing else. And the night
coming on to hear one's skipper go on like that
in such weather was enough to drive any fellow out
of his mind. It worked me up into a sort
of desperation. I just took it into my own hands

(01:05:20):
and went away from him boiling. And but what's the
use telling you? You know? Do you think that if
I had not been pretty fierce with them, I should
have got the men to do anything? Not I the
bow's end. Perhaps, perhaps it wasn't a heavy sea, it
was a sea gone mad. I suppose the end of

(01:05:42):
the world will be something like that, And a man
may have the heart to see it coming once and
be done with it, but to have to face it
day after day. I don't blame anybody. I was precious
little better than the rest, only I was an officer
of that old coal wagon. Anyhow, I quite understand. I
conveyed that sincere assurance into his ear, he was out

(01:06:05):
of breath with whispering. I could hear him pant slightly.
It was all very simple. The same strung up force
which had given twenty four men a chance at least
for their lives, had, in a sort of recoil, crushed
an unworthy, mutinous existence. But I had no leisure to
weigh the merits of the matter. Footsteps in the saloon,

(01:06:27):
a heavy knock. There's enough wind to get under way
with sir. Here was the call of a new claim.
Upon my thoughts and even upon my feelings. Turn the
hands up, I cried through the door. I'll be on
deck directly. I was going out to make the acquaintance
of my ship. Before I left the cabin, our eyes

(01:06:50):
met the eyes of the only two strangers on board.
I pointed to the recessed part where the little campstool
awaited him, and laid my finger on my lips. He
made a gesture somewhat vague, little mysterious, accompanied by a
faint smile, as if of regret. This is not the
place to enlarge upon the sensations of a man who

(01:07:11):
feels for the first time a ship moved under his feet,
to his own independent word. In my case, they were
not unalloyed. I was not wholly alone with my command,
for there was that stranger in my cabin. Or rather,
I was not completely and holy with her. Part of
me was absent. That mental feeling of being in two

(01:07:32):
places at once affected me physically, as if the mood
of secrecy had penetrated my very soul before an hour
had elapsed, since the ship had begun to move, Having
occasion to ask the mate, he stood by my side
to take a compass bearing of the pagoda. I caught myself,
reaching up to his ear in whispers. I say, I

(01:07:52):
caught myself, but enough had escaped to startle the man.
I can't describe it otherwise than by saying that he
shied a grave, preoccupied manner, as though he were in
possession of some perplexing intelligence. Did not leave him. Henceforth,
a little later I moved away from the rail to
look at the compass, with such a stealthy gait that

(01:08:14):
the helmsman noticed it. In I could not help noticing
the unusual roundness of his eyes. These are trifling instances,
though it's to no commander's advantage to be suspected of
ludicrous eccentricities. But I was also more seriously affected. There
are to a seaman's certain words gestures that should, in
given conditions, come as naturally, as instinctively as the winking

(01:08:37):
of a menaced eye. A certain order should spring on
to his lips without thinking, a certain sign should get
itself made, so to speak, without reflection. But all unconscious
alertness had abandoned me. I had to make an effort
of will to recall myself back from the cabin to
the conditions of the moment. I felt that I was

(01:08:59):
appearing an irresolute commander to those people who were watching
me more or less critically. And besides, there were the scares.
On the second day out, for instance, coming off the
deck in the afternoon, I had straw slippers on my
bare feet. I stopped at the open pantry door and
spoke to the steward. He was doing something there with

(01:09:21):
his back to me. At the sound of my voice,
he nearly jumped out of his skin, as the saying is,
and incidentally broke a cup. What on Earth's the matter
with you, I asked, astonished. He was extremely confused. Beg
your pardon, sir. I made sure you were in your cabin,

(01:09:43):
you see, I wasn't, no, sir, I could have sworn
I had heard you moving in there, not a moment ago.
It's most extraordinary, very sorry, sir. I passed on with
an inward shudder. I was so I identified with my
secret double that I did not even mention the fact
in those scanty, fearful whispers we exchanged. I suppose he

(01:10:08):
had made some slight noise of some kind or other.
It would have been miraculous if he hadn't at one
time or another. And yet, haggard as he appeared, he
looked always perfectly self controlled, more than calm, almost invulnerable.
On my suggestion, he remained almost entirely in the bathroom, which,

(01:10:28):
upon the whole was the safest place. There could be
really no shadow of an excuse for anyone ever wanting
to go in there once the steward had done with it.
It was a very tiny place. Sometimes he reclined on
the floor, his legs bent, his head sustained on one elbow.
At others I would find him on the campstool, sitting

(01:10:49):
in his gray sleeping suit and with his cropped dark hair,
like a patient, unmoved convict. At night I would smuggle
him into my bed place and we would whisper together,
with the regular footfalls of the officer of the watch
passing and repassing over our heads. It was an infinitely
miserable time. It was lucky that some tins of fine

(01:11:11):
preserves were stowed in a locker in my stateroom. Hard
bread I could always get hold of, and so he
lived on stewed chicken, pat of fois gras, asparagus, cooked oysters, sardines,
on all sorts of abominable shem delicacies out of tins.
My early morning coffee he always drank, and it was
all I dared do for him in that respect. Every

(01:11:33):
day there was the horrible maneuvering to go through so
that my room and then the bathroom should be done
in the usual way. I came to hate the sight
of the steward, to abhor the voice of that harmless man.
I felt that it was he who would bring on
the disaster of discovery. It hung like a sword over
our heads. The fourth day out, I think we were

(01:11:55):
then working down the east side of the Gulf of Siam,
tack for tack in light winds and smooth water. The
fourth day, I say of this miserable juggling with the unavoidable.
As we sat at our evening meal, that man, whose
slightest movement I dreaded, after putting down the dishes, ran
up on deck busily. This could not be dangerous. Presently

(01:12:18):
he came down again, and then it appeared that he
had remembered a coat of mine, which I had thrown
over a rail to dry, after having been wetted in
a shower which had passed over the ship in the afternoon.
Sitting stolidly at the head of the table, I became
terrified at the sight of the garment on his arm.
Of course, he made for my door. There was no

(01:12:38):
time to lose steward, I thundered. My nerves were so
shaken that I could not govern my voice and conceal
my agitation. This was the sort of thing that made
my terrifically whiskered mate tap his forehead with his forefinger.
I had detected him using that gesture while talking on
deck with a confidential air to the carpenter. It was

(01:13:01):
too far to hear a word, but I had no
doubt that this pantomime could only refer to the strange
new captain. Yes, sir, the pale faced steward turned resignedly
to me. It was this maddening course of being shouted at,
checked without rhyme or reason, arbitrarily chased out of my cabin,
suddenly called into it, sent flying out of his pantry

(01:13:23):
on incomprehensible errands that accounted for the growing wretchedness of
his expression. Where are you going with that coat to
your room, sir? Is there another shower coming? I'm sure
I don't know, sir. Shall I go up again and see? Sir? No,

(01:13:43):
never mind, My object was attained, as of course my
other self and there would have heard everything that passed
during this interlude. My two officers and never raised their
eyes off their respective plates. But the lip of that
confounded cub the second mate, quivered visibly. I expected the
steward to hook my coat on and come out at once.

(01:14:07):
He was very slow about it, but I dominated my
nervousness sufficiently not to shout after him. Suddenly I became
aware it could be heard plainly enough that the fellow,
for some reason or other was opening the door of
the bathroom. It was the end. The place was literally
not big enough to swing a cat in. My voice

(01:14:27):
died in my throat, and I went stony all over.
I expected to hear a yell of surprise and terror
and made a movement, but had not the strength to
get on my legs. Everything remained still, had my second
self taken the poor wretch by the throat. I don't
know what I could have done next moment if I
had not seen the steward come out of my room,

(01:14:50):
close the door and then stand quietly by the sideboard. Saved,
I thought, but no lost gone. He was gone. I
laid my knife and fork down and leaned back in
my chair. My head swam. After a while, When sufficiently

(01:15:12):
recovered to speak in a steady voice, I instructed my
mate to put the ship round at eight o'clock himself.
I won't come on deck, I went on. I think
I'll turn in and unless the wind shifts, I don't
want to be disturbed before midnight. I feel a bit seedy.
You did look middling bad a little while ago, the

(01:15:34):
chief mate remarked, without showing any great concern. They both
went out, and I stared at the steward clearing the table.
There was nothing to be read on that wretched man's face.
But why did he avoid my eyes? I asked myself.
Then I thought I should like to hear the sound
of his voice. Steward sir startled, as usual, where did

(01:16:01):
you hang up that coat in the bathroom? Sir? The
usual anxious tone. It's not quite dry yet, sir. For
some time longer I sat in the cutty, had my
double vanished as he had come. But of his coming
there was an explanation, whereas his disappearance would be inexplicable.

(01:16:23):
I went slowly into my dark room, shut the door,
lighted the lamp, and for a time dared not turn round.
When at last I did, I saw him standing bolt
upright in the narrow, recessed part. It would not be
true to say I had a shock, but an irresistible
doubt of his bodily existence flitted through my mind. Can

(01:16:44):
it be? I asked myself, that he is not visible
to other eyes than mine. It was like being haunted
motionless with a grave face. He raised his hand slightly
at me in a gesture which meant, clearly, heavens, what
an narrow escape narrow. Indeed, I think I had come

(01:17:04):
creeping quietly, as near insanity as any man who has
not actually gone over the border. That gesture restrained me,
so to speak. The mate with the terrific whiskers was
now putting the ship on the other tack. In the
moment of profound silence which follows upon the hands going
to their stations, I heard on the poop's raised voice heartily,

(01:17:26):
and the distant shout of the order repeated on the
main deck. The sails in that light breeze made but
a faint fluttering noise. It ceased. The ship was coming
round slowly. I held my breath in the renewed stillness
of expectation. One wouldn't have thought that there was a
single living soul on her decks. A sudden brisk shout

(01:17:49):
mainsail hull broke the spell, and in the noisy cries
and rush overhead of the men running away with the
main brace, we two down in my cabin came together
in our usual position by the bed place. He did
not wait for my question. I heard him fumbling here
and just managed to squat myself down in the bath.
He whispered to me the fellow only opened the door

(01:18:12):
and put his arm in to hang the coat up.
All the same I never thought of that. I whispered back,
even more appalled than before at the closeness of the shave,
and marveling at that something unyielding in his character which
was carrying him through so finely. There was no agitation
in his whisper. Whoever was being driven distracted, it was

(01:18:35):
not he. He was sane, and the proof of his
sanity was continued when he took up the whispering again.
It would never do for me to come to life again.
It was something that a ghost might have said. But
what he was alluding to was his old captain's reluctant
admission of the theory of suicide. It would obviously serve

(01:18:57):
his turn if I had understood at all the view
which seem to govern the unalterable purpose of his action.
You must maroon me as soon as ever you can
get amongst these islands off the Cambode shore, he went on.
Maroon you. We are not living in a boy's adventure tale,
I protested. His scornful whispering took me up. We aren't. Indeed,

(01:19:22):
there's nothing of a boy's tail in this, but there's
nothing else for it. I want no more. You don't
suppose I am afraid of what can be done to me,
prison or gallows, or whatever they may please. But you
don't see me coming back to explain such things to
an old fellow in a wig and twelve respectable tradesman.

(01:19:43):
Do you what can they know? Whether I am guilty
or not? Or of what I am guilty? Either, that's
my affair. What does the Bible say, driven off the
face of the earth? Very well? I am off the
face of the earth now as I came at night.
So I shall go impossible, I murmured, You can't, can't

(01:20:10):
not naked like a soul on the day of judgment,
I shall freeze on to this sleeping suit. The last
day is not yet in. You have understood thoroughly, didn't you.
I felt suddenly ashamed of myself. I may say truly
that I understood in my hesitation in letting that man

(01:20:30):
swim away from my ship's side, had been a mere
sham sentiment, a sort of cowardice. It can't be done
now till next night, I breathed out. The ship is
on the off shore tack, and the wind may fail us,
as long as I know that you understand, he whispered,
But of course you do. It's a great satisfaction to

(01:20:52):
have got somebody to understand. You seem to have been
there on purpose, and in the same whisper as if we, too,
whenever we talked, had to say things to each other
which were not fit for the world to hear. He added,
It's very wonderful. We remained side by side, talking in
our secret way, but sometimes silent, or just exchanging a

(01:21:12):
whispered word or two at long intervals. And as usual
he stared through the port. A breath of wind came
now and again into our faces. The ship might have
been moored in dock. So gently and on an even keel,
she slipped through the water that did not murmur even
at our passage, shadowy and silent, like a phantom sea.

(01:21:35):
At midnight, I went on deck, and, to my mate's
great surprise, put the ship round on the other tack.
His terrible whiskers flitted round me in silent criticism. I
certainly should not have done it. If it had been
only a question of getting out of that sleepy gulf
as quickly as possible. I believe. He told the second mate,
who relieved him, that it was a great want of judgment.

(01:21:58):
The other only yawned that intolerable cub shuffled about so
sleepily in lulled against the rails in such a slack
in proper fashion, that I came down on him sharply.
Aren't you properly awake yet? Yes, sir, I am awake. Well,
then be good enough to hold yourself as if you were,

(01:22:21):
and keep a lookout if there's any current will be
closing with some islands before daylight. The east side of
the Gulf is fringed with islands, some solitary, others in
groups on the blue background of the high coast. They
seem to float on silvery patches of calm water, arid
and gray or dark green, and rounded like clumps of

(01:22:43):
evergreen bushes, with the larger ones a mile or two long,
showing the outlines of ridges, ribs of gray rock, under
the dark mantle of matted leafage. Unknown to trade, to travel,
almost to geography. The manner of life they harbor is
an unsolved secret. There must be villages, settlements of fishermen,

(01:23:04):
at least on the largest of them, and some communication
with the world is probably kept up by native craft.
But all that forenoon, as we headed for them, fanned
along by the faintest of breezes, I saw no sign
of man or canoe in the field of the telescope.
I kept on pointing at the scattered group. At noon,
I gave no orders for a change of course, and

(01:23:26):
the mate's whiskers became much concerned and seemed to be
offering themselves unduly to my notice. At last, I said,
I am going to stand right in quite in as
far as I can take her. The stare of extreme
surprise imparted an air of ferocity also to his eyes,
and he looked truly terrific for a moment. We're not

(01:23:50):
doing well in the middle of the Gulf, I continued casually.
I am going to look for the land breezes to night.
Bless my soul, do you mean, sir, in the dark,
amongst the lot of all them islands and reefs and shoals. Well,
if there are any regular land breezes at all on
this coast, one must get close inshore to find them,

(01:24:12):
mustn't one. Bless my soul, he exclaimed again under his breath.
All that afternoon, he wore a dreamy, contemplative appearance, which
in him was a mark of perplexity. After dinner, I
went into my stateroom as if I meant to take
some rest. There, we too bent our dark heads over
a half unrolled chart. Lying on my bed there, I said,

(01:24:37):
it's got to be Kowring. I've been looking at it
ever since sunrise. It has got two hills and a
low point. It must be inhabited. And on the coast
opposite there is what looks like the mouth of a
biggyish river with some towns, no doubt, not far up.
It's the best chance for you that I can see

(01:24:59):
anything cow Ring. Let it be. He looked thoughtfully at
the chart, as if surveying chances and distances from a
lofty height, and following with his eyes his own figure
wandering on the blank land of coachin China, and then
passing off that piece of paper clean out of sight
into uncharted regions. And it was as if the ship
had two captains to plan her course for her. I

(01:25:22):
had been so worried and restless, running up and down,
that I had not had the patience to dress that day.
I had remained in my sleeping suit with straw slippers
and a soft floppy hat. The closeness of the heat
in the gulf had been most oppressive, and the crew
were used to seeing me wandering in that airy attire.
She will clear the south point as she heads, now,

(01:25:45):
I whispered into his ear. Goodness only knows when, though,
but certainly after dark. I'll edge her into half a
mile as far as I may be able to judge
in the dark. Be careful, he murmured warningly. In and
I realized suddenly that all my future, the only future
for which I was fit, would perhaps go irretrievably to

(01:26:06):
pieces in any mishap to my first command. I could
not stop a moment longer in the room. I motioned
him to get out of sight, and made my way
on the poop. That unplayful cub had the watch. I
walked up and down for a while, thinking things out,
then beckoned him over send a couple of hands to

(01:26:28):
open the two quarter deck ports. I said mildly. He
actually had the impudence or else so forgot himself in
his wonder at such an incomprehensible order as to repeat
open the quarter deck ports. What for, sir, the only
reason you need concern yourself about is because I tell

(01:26:50):
you to do so. Have them open wide and fastened properly.
He reddened and went off, But I believe made some
jeering remark to the carpenter as to the sensible practice
of ventilating a ship's quarter deck. I know he popped
into the mate's cabin to impart the fact to him,
because the whiskers came on deck, as it were, by chance,

(01:27:11):
and stole glances at me from below for signs of
lunacy or drunkenness. I suppose a little before supper, feeling
more restless than ever, I rejoined for a moment my
second self, and to find him sitting so quietly with
surprising like something against nature inhuman I developed my plan

(01:27:32):
in a hurried whisper. I shall stand in as close
as I dare, and then put her round. I will
presently find means to smuggle you out of here into
the sail locker, which communicates with the lobby. But there
is an opening, a sort of square for hauling the
sails out, which give straight on the quarter deck, and
which is never closed in fine weather, so as to

(01:27:54):
give air to the sails. When the ship's way is
deadened in stays, and all the hand are aft at
the main braces. You will have a clear road to
slip out and get overboard through the open quarter deck port.
I've had them both fastened up. Use a rope's end
to lower yourself into the water so as to avoid
a splash. You know it could be heard and cause

(01:28:16):
some beastly complication. He kept silent for a while, then whispered,
I understand, I won't be there to see you go.
I began with an effort the rest. I only hope
I have understood too. You have from first to last,

(01:28:36):
And for the first time there seemed to be a
faltering something strained in his whisper. He caught hold of
my arm, but the ringing of the supper bell made
me start. He didn't, though, he only released his grip
after supper. I didn't come below again till well past
eight o'clock. The faint, steady breeze was loaded with dew,

(01:28:58):
and the wet, darkened sail held all there was of
propelling power in it. The night, clear and starry, sparkled darkly,
and the opaque, lightless patches shifting slowly against the low
stars were the drifting islets. On the port bow, there
was a big one, more distant and shadowily imposing by
the great space of sky it eclipsed. On opening the door,

(01:29:21):
I had a back view of my very own self,
looking at a chart. He had come out of the
recess and was standing near the table. Quite dark enough,
I whispered. He stepped back and leaned against my bed
with a level, quiet glance. I sat on the couch.
We had nothing to say to each other over our heads.

(01:29:43):
The officer of the watch moved here and there. Then
I heard him move quickly. I knew what that meant.
He was making for the companion, and presently his voice
was outside my door. We are drawing in pretty fast,
Sir Land looks rather close. Very well, I answered, I

(01:30:05):
am coming on deck directly. I waited till he was
gone out of the cuddy. Then rose My double moved too.
The time had come to exchange our last whispers, for
neither of us was ever to hear each other's natural voice.
Look here, I opened a drawer and took out three sovereigns.

(01:30:27):
Take this anyhow, I've got six, and I'd give you
the lot. Only I must keep a little money to
buy some fruit and vegetables for the crew from native boats.
As we go through Sunda straits. He shook his head.
Take it, I urged him, whispering desperately. No one can
tell what. He smiled and slapped meaningly the only pocket

(01:30:51):
of the sleeping jacket. It was not safe, certainly, but
I produced a large old silk handkerchief of mine, and,
tying the three pieces of gold in a corner, pressed
it on him. He was touched, I supposed, because he
took it at last and tied it quickly round his
waist under the jacket, on his bare skin. Our eyes met.

(01:31:13):
Several seconds elapsed till our glances still mingled. I extended
my hand and turned the lamp out. Then I passed
through the cuddy, leaving the door of my room wide
open steward. He was still lingering in the pantry in
the greatness of his zeal, giving a rub up to
a plaited cruet stand the last thing before going to bed.

(01:31:35):
Being careful not to wake up the mate whose room
was opposite, I spoke in an undertone. He looked round anxiously, sir,
can you get me a little hot water from the galley.
I am afraid, sir, the galley fire's been out for
some time. Now go and see. He flew up the stairs. Now,

(01:32:00):
I whispered loudly into the saloon. Too loudly, perhaps, but
I was afraid I couldn't make a sound. He was
by my side. In an instant. The double captain slipped
past the stairs through a tiny dark passage a sliding door.
We were in the sail locker, scrambling on our knees
over the sails. A sudden thought struck me. I saw

(01:32:23):
myself wandering barefooted, bareheaded, the sun beating on my dark pole.
I snatched off my floppy hat and tried hurriedly in
the dark to ram it on my other self. He
dodged and fended off silently. I wonder what he thought
had come to me before he understood and suddenly desisted.
Our hands met gropingly, lingered united in a steady, motionless clasp.

(01:32:46):
For a second. No word was breathed by either of us.
When they separated. I was standing quietly by the pantry
door when the steward returned. Sorry, sir, kettle barely warm,
Shall I light the spirit lamp? Never mind? I came

(01:33:07):
out on deck slowly. It was now a matter of
conscience to shave the land as close as possible. For
now he must go overboard. Whenever the ship was put
in stays must. There could be no going back for him.
After a moment, I walked over to leeward, and my
heart flew into my mouth at the nearness of the
land on the bow. Under any other circumstances, I would

(01:33:30):
not have held on a minute longer. The second mate
had followed me anxiously. I looked on till I felt
I could command my voice. She will weather, I said, then,
in a quiet tone. Are you going to try that? Sir?
He stammered out incredulously. I took no notice of him,

(01:33:51):
and raised my tone just enough to be heard by
the helmsman. Keep her good full, good full, sir. The
wind fanned my cheek, the sail slept, The world was silent.
The strain of watching the dark loom of the land
grow bigger and denser was too much for me. I
had shut my eyes because the ship must go closer.

(01:34:14):
She must. The stillness was intolerable. Were we standing still?
When I opened my eyes, the second view started my
heart with a thump. The black southern hill of Cowring
seemed to hang right over the ship, like a towering
fragment of everlasting night. On that enormous mass of blackness,

(01:34:35):
there was not a gleam to be seen, not a
sound to be heard. It was gliding irresistibly towards us,
and yet seemed already within reach of the hand. I
saw the vague figures of the watch grouped in the waist,
gazing in odd silence. Are you going on, sir, inquired
an unsteady voice at my elbow. I ignored it. I

(01:34:57):
had to go on, keep her full, don't check her way.
That won't do now, I said, warningly. I can't see
the sails very well. The helmsman answered me in strange,
quavering tones. Was she close enough? Already? She was, I

(01:35:18):
won't say, in the shadow of the land, but in
the very blackness of it, already swallowed up as it were,
gone too close to be recalled, gone from me altogether.
Give the mate a call, I said to the young man,
who stood at my elbow as still as death, and
turn all hands up. My tone had a borrowed loudness,

(01:35:38):
reverberated from the height of the land. Several voices cried
out together, we are all on deck, sir. Then stillness again,
with the great shadow gliding closer, towering higher, without a light,
without a sound. Such a hush had fallen on the
ship that she might have been a bark of the dead,

(01:35:59):
floating in slow under the very gate of Erebus. My god,
where are we? It was the mate, moaning at my elbow.
He was thunderstruck, and as it were, deprived of the
moral support of his whiskers, he clapped his hands and
absolutely cried out lost, be quiet, I said, sternly. He

(01:36:24):
lowered his tone, but I saw the shadowy gesture of
his despair. What are we doing here? Looking for the
land wind? He made as if to tear his hair,
and addressed me recklessly. She will never get out. You
have done it, sir. I knew it'd end in something
like this. She will never weather, and you are too

(01:36:47):
close now to stay. She'll drift ashore before she's round.
Oh my god. I caught his arm as he was
raising it to batter his poor devoted head, and shook
it violently. She's ashore already, he wailed, trying to tear
himself away. Is she keep good? Full? There, good full sir,

(01:37:10):
cried the helmsman in a frightened, thin childlike voice. I
hadn't let go the mate's arm, and went on shaking
it ready about do you hear? You? Go forward? Shake
and stop there, Shake and hold your noise. Shake and
see these headsheets properly overhauled. Shake, shake, shake, And all

(01:37:32):
the time I dared not look towards the land, lest
my heart should fail me. I released my grip at last,
and he ran forward, as if fleeing for dear life.
I wondered what my double there in the sale locker
thought of this commotion. He was able to hear everything,
and perhaps he was able to understand why on my
conscience it had to be thus closed. No less, my

(01:37:55):
first order, heartilye re echoed ominously under the towering shadow
of Cowring, as if I had shouted in a mountain gorge.
And then I watched the land intently. In that smooth
water and light wind. It was impossible to feel the
ship coming to no. I could not feel her, and

(01:38:16):
my second self was making now ready to ship out
and lower himself overboard. Perhaps he was gone already, the
great black mass brooding over our very mastheads. Began to
pivot away from the ship's side silently. And now I
forgot the secret stranger ready to depart, and remembered only
that I was a total stranger to the ship. I

(01:38:38):
did not know her. Would she do it? How was
she to be handled? I swung the main yard and
waited helplessly. She was perhaps stopped, and her very fate
hung in the balance, with the black mass of cowring
like the gait of the everlasting night towering over her taffrail.
What would she do now? Had she way on her yet?

(01:39:01):
I stepped to the side swiftly, and on the shadowy water,
I could see nothing except a faint phosphorescent flash revealing
the glassy smoothness of the sleeping surface. It was impossible
to tell, and I had not learned yet the feel
of my ship. Was she moving? What I needed was
something easily seen, a piece of paper, which I could

(01:39:23):
throw overboard and watch. I had nothing on me to
run down for it. I didn't dare. There was no time.
All at once, my strained yearning stare distinguished a white
object floating within a yard of the ship's side. White
on the black water. A phosphorescent flash passed under it.

(01:39:45):
What was that thing? I recognized my own floppy hat.
It must have fallen off his head, and he didn't bother.
Now I had what I wanted, the saving mark for
my eyes. But I hardly thought of my other self,
now gone from the ship, to be hidden forever from
all friendly faces, to be a fugitive and a vagabond

(01:40:05):
on the earth, with no brand of the curse on
his sane forehead, to stay a slaying hand, too proud
to explain. And I watched the hat the expression of
my sudden pity for his mere flesh. It had been
meant to save his homeless head from the dangers of
the sun. And now behold it was saving the ship
by serving me for a mark, to help out the

(01:40:26):
ignorance of my strangeness. Ha. It was drifting forward, warning
me just in time that the ship had gathered stern
away shift the helm, I said in a low voice
to the seamen. Standing still like a statue. The man's
eyes glistened wildly in the binnacle light as he jumped
round to the other side and spun round the wheel.

(01:40:51):
I walked to the break of the poop on the
overshadowed deck. All hands stood by the four braces, waiting
for my order. The stars ahead seen to be gliding
from right to left, and all was so still in
the world that I heard the quiet remark She's round
passed in a tone of intense relief between two seamen.

(01:41:11):
Let go and hull. The four yards ran round with
a great noise amidst cheery cries. And now the frightful
whiskers made themselves heard, giving various orders. Already the ship
was drawing ahead, and I was alone with her. Nothing
no one in the world should stand now between us,

(01:41:32):
throwing a shadow on the way of silent knowledge and
mute affection, the perfect communion of a seaman with his
first command. Walking to the taffrail, I was in time
to make out on the very edge of a darkness
thrown by a towering black mass, like the very gateway
of Erebus. Yes, I was in time to catch an
evanescent glimpse of my white hat, left behind to mark

(01:41:54):
the spot where the secret sharer of my cabin and
of my thoughts, as though he were my second self,
had lowered himself into the water to take his punishment.
A free man, a proud swimmer, striking out for a
new destiny,

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Joseph Conrad - "The Secret Sharer" - 1910

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Joseph Conrad - "The Secret Sharer" - 1910