December 3, 2022 • 12 mins
On today's menu: the definition of sex work. Keyla introduces listeners to who she is, her introduction to exotic dancing, and the definition of what a sex worker really is.
Created and hosted by Keyla Young and executive produced by Daniel Fastenau-Jones and Schuyler Fastenau-Jones. Editing and sound design by Schuyler Fastenau-Jones. Theme music by Tracy Zales.
Follow us on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cocktail_ballerina/
Created and hosted by Keyla Young and executive produced by Daniel Fastenau-Jones and Schuyler Fastenau-Jones. Editing and sound design by Schuyler Fastenau-Jones. Theme music by Tracy Zales.
Follow us on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cocktail_ballerina/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Hey, what up though, Thisis Keila, your cocktail Ballerina, and
I'm here to bring you the unheard, uncensored, and unrepresented stories of the
lifestyle of a sex worker. Firston today's menu, the definition of sex
(00:25):
work Now, according to Miriam's WebsterDictionary, a person who is involved in
sex work is involved in sexually explicitbehavior, especially prostitute. The synonyms are
bald, call girl, coquette,court design, drib hooker, hustler,
(00:47):
prostitute, streetwalkers, tart, woreda da da da day. But according
to my definition, girl Miriam,that's que But I'll tell you what it
really is. To me. Thedefinition of sex work is a hustler.
You ain't have no choice by whatyour environment showed you growing up, how
(01:11):
you were treated in society, andwhere you come from. So sometimes you
have to do what you gotta doin order to make money, to bring
yourself, to survive in society,and to also help your family. Okay,
let me give y'all guys a sipor a taste and to what I
(01:34):
think sex work is and how Istarted. I started in the year two
thousand and three. I was ayoung eighteen year old girl just graduated high
school maybe nine months before I wasworking in retail. I had two jobs
and I was working at a movietheater, and the money just wasn't happening
(01:57):
for me. I needed my ownapartment, I needed a car, and
I needed to help my mother outwith her kids as well. Plus I
wanted to go shopping. Being ayoung girl in Detroit, everybody had the
Cartier glasses. Those are going atleast a thousand of pop. I also
(02:19):
wanted to have the gig Hunter silkdress. I wanted to have the Gator
shoes, the fur coats. Iwanted to have the best hairstylas, the
best nails, the best car inapartment. So that was one of the
reasons of multi reasons why I beganmy life as a sex worker. Now
(02:45):
I didn't go as far as beingan escort or prostitute, but the city
of Detroit there are a multitude ofstrip clubs from eight miles all the way
to Michigan Avenue, all the wayto the airport. So, starting in
(03:06):
two thousand and three, when Iwas eighteen years old, I auditioned for
a club near the airport. Ibegan on the day shift, which was
pretty easy for me, I wasa simple hire. I looked racially ambiguous,
and it wasn't one of those clubsthat you would see typically on TV
(03:27):
today. This club was totally differentfrom where I ever seen before, and
majority of the clientele was nothing ofwhat I was expecting. And so I
said, okay, I could dothis. Because of the way the club
quickly hired me, I assumed thatthis would be easy. Boy was I
(03:52):
in for a surprise. It's sofunny watching some entertainers who used to be
exotic dancers or worked in the sexwork industry, even some pornographic actresses have
a great career in entertainment as faras music and film. And I'm so
(04:15):
happy to see that because in myday when I started, you were kind
of shunned if people found out thatyou were a sex worker, if you
were a stripper, exotic dancer,whatever they called you. I was told
that we don't say that, wedon't tell people what we do at night,
(04:35):
because why because we can't advance ifpeople look at us as sex toys,
if they look at us as objects. So back in two thousand and
three, two thousand and four totwo thousand and five, those first two
three years that I started. Ididn't really tell anyone that I did because
(04:59):
I didn't want anyone to judge whoI was, because I was also going
to college. I was going toan art school, and I just didn't
want to have that type of stigmaon my reputation because I was trying to
do things and this was just somethingI did on the side to give me
ahead. So early on when Istarted to dance, I mainly worked in
(05:28):
the daytime, and it was alwaysthe issue of the new girl being a
new girl. Now you have thegirls that have been there before trying to
sabotage your money, starting rumors aboutyou, maybe wanting to fight you outside
of the club, telling customers terriblethings about you. Example, oh,
(05:56):
her pussy stank like bitch, howdo you know? Were you that close
to me? But yeah, sowhen you're a new person, you have
to deal with that in any club. I will say the big difference of
me working I would say in parentheseslike, oh, the white bars,
(06:17):
according to the black clubs, waswhite clubs. You could sit and talk
to your customer and make money doingthat, and it was just kind of
chill. You did a lot ofstage work, but you didn't have to.
And then also if you were thenew girl, you made money.
(06:40):
The first three weeks that you werethere, it was like go time,
Oh we got a new girl here. I want to see what she's about.
What's going on with her? Now? When I went to go work
at the black clubs, it wastotally different. It was like you had
to pay your dues. So itwould take two three weeks to a month,
(07:02):
maybe more than that for the client'shill and the staff to get familiar
with you because they didn't like anybodycoming in from the outside breaking in today
money, messing with their money.So that was the difference between me working
at the white bars and the blackclubs in the city. So being a
(07:27):
dancer in Detroit, there was alwayssomething going on at the clubs. God
was really looking out for me becausethe day I left the club I got
hired at by the Airport, theswat team came in the next day during
a night shift and with guns andyou know swat team gear, like jumped
(07:50):
on the stage. I later onfound that out because one of the girls
that was working at the club withme we still talk, still hung out.
So I ended up working at anotherclub because I wasn't making enough money.
This is a new club and DeerWorn, Michigan I had just opened
(08:11):
and I was like, Okay,let me try it out there. Let
me see what's going on there.And I say, like the first week
it opened, there was a shootoutin the parking lot right before I walked
in my car. So that's justone of the scary moments. There's a
(08:33):
lot of moments like that in Detroit, multiple clubs. Me being a smart
person and kind of like held onthe swivel mentality, you know, always
be on ten watching everything. That'sjust how I was raised. I kind
of knew where I had the bigintuition like, hey, don't go that
(08:56):
way. Don't hang with this girlbecause she's full of shit and she gonna
have you in a bunch of shit. Or don't go with this girl because
she got a pimp, you knowwhat I'm saying, and she just recruiting.
So I kind of avoided all ofthat. Now I'm not gonna lie.
I had a couple of girlfriends thatwas cool to hang out with,
(09:18):
but they had ulterior motives and Ididn't recognize that until months, sometimes years
later, and it was just adevastation. But in the game, you
gotta keep moving because guess what,at the end of the motherfucking day,
the goal is always money and youcan't let an insecure bitch stop your money
(09:41):
flow. So why am I heretelling you all of this? Why am
I here doing this? No one'stalking about the serious side of sex work,
but also why we do it.People judge and that's whatever. But
you know, for me doing itfrom two thousand and three on and off
(10:01):
up until two thousand and fifteen.For those years that I was off being
a bartender, I would hear thisbad stigma about exotic dancers or escorts,
and I thought it was just soignorant when I heard that, because it's
(10:22):
like, okay, well, ifyou were in that space, if you
were in that club, if youtalk to that girl, then what were
you doing there? How? Youknow all the business. So for someone
to judge anyone, they have tolook at themselves as well. I want
to bring this sort these stories forefrontabout sex work because no one respects sex
(10:48):
workers. You know a lot ofpeople in politics, a lot of people
went entertainment. I mean, yougot to look at a lot of rappers.
There's a big rapper right now.She broadcasts that she used to dance.
She started out on social media,and I'm proud of her because I'm
(11:09):
like, damn, we couldn't dothat when I started, you feel me.
So now that I see people respecther, then I think that's really
a pivotal moment in society, notjust being accepted in society as a sex
worker, but also you gotta respectus. You gotta look at us as
(11:35):
human beings, because at the endof the day, we could have been
your mother, We could have beenyour auntie, we could have been your
sister cousin. You don't know howwe got this money. You don't know
how we feed our families. Youjust know it's done and we never throw
it in your face. But somepeople turn around and bash sex workers when
(11:58):
the person taking care of you isa sex worker. So I just wanted
to bring that tottle forefront of someof the stories that happened, the sacrifices
of what these people go through,what we go through, well it is
what it is. Thank y'all fortuning in to the Cocktail Ballerina, and
(12:24):
I'll see y'all next week. Bye, baby, Cocktail Ballerina. Was created
and hosted by Keila Young, anexecutive produced by Daniel fasten now Jones and
Skyler fasten now Jones, who wasalso the editor and sound designer. Theme
music was created and performed by TracyZeiles. This was a little bit fasten
(12:50):
Our production.
Hey, what up though, Thisis Keila, your cocktail Ballerina, and
I'm here to bring you the unheard, uncensored, and unrepresented stories of the
lifestyle of a sex worker. Firston today's menu, the definition of sex
(00:25):
work Now, according to Miriam's WebsterDictionary, a person who is involved in
sex work is involved in sexually explicitbehavior, especially prostitute. The synonyms are
bald, call girl, coquette,court design, drib hooker, hustler,
(00:47):
prostitute, streetwalkers, tart, woreda da da da day. But according
to my definition, girl Miriam,that's que But I'll tell you what it
really is. To me. Thedefinition of sex work is a hustler.
You ain't have no choice by whatyour environment showed you growing up, how
(01:11):
you were treated in society, andwhere you come from. So sometimes you
have to do what you gotta doin order to make money, to bring
yourself, to survive in society,and to also help your family. Okay,
let me give y'all guys a sipor a taste and to what I
(01:34):
think sex work is and how Istarted. I started in the year two
thousand and three. I was ayoung eighteen year old girl just graduated high
school maybe nine months before I wasworking in retail. I had two jobs
and I was working at a movietheater, and the money just wasn't happening
(01:57):
for me. I needed my ownapartment, I needed a car, and
I needed to help my mother outwith her kids as well. Plus I
wanted to go shopping. Being ayoung girl in Detroit, everybody had the
Cartier glasses. Those are going atleast a thousand of pop. I also
(02:19):
wanted to have the gig Hunter silkdress. I wanted to have the Gator
shoes, the fur coats. Iwanted to have the best hairstylas, the
best nails, the best car inapartment. So that was one of the
reasons of multi reasons why I beganmy life as a sex worker. Now
(02:45):
I didn't go as far as beingan escort or prostitute, but the city
of Detroit there are a multitude ofstrip clubs from eight miles all the way
to Michigan Avenue, all the wayto the airport. So, starting in
(03:06):
two thousand and three, when Iwas eighteen years old, I auditioned for
a club near the airport. Ibegan on the day shift, which was
pretty easy for me, I wasa simple hire. I looked racially ambiguous,
and it wasn't one of those clubsthat you would see typically on TV
(03:27):
today. This club was totally differentfrom where I ever seen before, and
majority of the clientele was nothing ofwhat I was expecting. And so I
said, okay, I could dothis. Because of the way the club
quickly hired me, I assumed thatthis would be easy. Boy was I
(03:52):
in for a surprise. It's sofunny watching some entertainers who used to be
exotic dancers or worked in the sexwork industry, even some pornographic actresses have
a great career in entertainment as faras music and film. And I'm so
(04:15):
happy to see that because in myday when I started, you were kind
of shunned if people found out thatyou were a sex worker, if you
were a stripper, exotic dancer,whatever they called you. I was told
that we don't say that, wedon't tell people what we do at night,
(04:35):
because why because we can't advance ifpeople look at us as sex toys,
if they look at us as objects. So back in two thousand and
three, two thousand and four totwo thousand and five, those first two
three years that I started. Ididn't really tell anyone that I did because
(04:59):
I didn't want anyone to judge whoI was, because I was also going
to college. I was going toan art school, and I just didn't
want to have that type of stigmaon my reputation because I was trying to
do things and this was just somethingI did on the side to give me
ahead. So early on when Istarted to dance, I mainly worked in
(05:28):
the daytime, and it was alwaysthe issue of the new girl being a
new girl. Now you have thegirls that have been there before trying to
sabotage your money, starting rumors aboutyou, maybe wanting to fight you outside
of the club, telling customers terriblethings about you. Example, oh,
(05:56):
her pussy stank like bitch, howdo you know? Were you that close
to me? But yeah, sowhen you're a new person, you have
to deal with that in any club. I will say the big difference of
me working I would say in parentheseslike, oh, the white bars,
(06:17):
according to the black clubs, waswhite clubs. You could sit and talk
to your customer and make money doingthat, and it was just kind of
chill. You did a lot ofstage work, but you didn't have to.
And then also if you were thenew girl, you made money.
(06:40):
The first three weeks that you werethere, it was like go time,
Oh we got a new girl here. I want to see what she's about.
What's going on with her? Now? When I went to go work
at the black clubs, it wastotally different. It was like you had
to pay your dues. So itwould take two three weeks to a month,
(07:02):
maybe more than that for the client'shill and the staff to get familiar
with you because they didn't like anybodycoming in from the outside breaking in today
money, messing with their money.So that was the difference between me working
at the white bars and the blackclubs in the city. So being a
(07:27):
dancer in Detroit, there was alwayssomething going on at the clubs. God
was really looking out for me becausethe day I left the club I got
hired at by the Airport, theswat team came in the next day during
a night shift and with guns andyou know swat team gear, like jumped
(07:50):
on the stage. I later onfound that out because one of the girls
that was working at the club withme we still talk, still hung out.
So I ended up working at anotherclub because I wasn't making enough money.
This is a new club and DeerWorn, Michigan I had just opened
(08:11):
and I was like, Okay,let me try it out there. Let
me see what's going on there.And I say, like the first week
it opened, there was a shootoutin the parking lot right before I walked
in my car. So that's justone of the scary moments. There's a
(08:33):
lot of moments like that in Detroit, multiple clubs. Me being a smart
person and kind of like held onthe swivel mentality, you know, always
be on ten watching everything. That'sjust how I was raised. I kind
of knew where I had the bigintuition like, hey, don't go that
(08:56):
way. Don't hang with this girlbecause she's full of shit and she gonna
have you in a bunch of shit. Or don't go with this girl because
she got a pimp, you knowwhat I'm saying, and she just recruiting.
So I kind of avoided all ofthat. Now I'm not gonna lie.
I had a couple of girlfriends thatwas cool to hang out with,
(09:18):
but they had ulterior motives and Ididn't recognize that until months, sometimes years
later, and it was just adevastation. But in the game, you
gotta keep moving because guess what,at the end of the motherfucking day,
the goal is always money and youcan't let an insecure bitch stop your money
(09:41):
flow. So why am I heretelling you all of this? Why am
I here doing this? No one'stalking about the serious side of sex work,
but also why we do it.People judge and that's whatever. But
you know, for me doing itfrom two thousand and three on and off
(10:01):
up until two thousand and fifteen.For those years that I was off being
a bartender, I would hear thisbad stigma about exotic dancers or escorts,
and I thought it was just soignorant when I heard that, because it's
(10:22):
like, okay, well, ifyou were in that space, if you
were in that club, if youtalk to that girl, then what were
you doing there? How? Youknow all the business. So for someone
to judge anyone, they have tolook at themselves as well. I want
to bring this sort these stories forefrontabout sex work because no one respects sex
(10:48):
workers. You know a lot ofpeople in politics, a lot of people
went entertainment. I mean, yougot to look at a lot of rappers.
There's a big rapper right now.She broadcasts that she used to dance.
She started out on social media,and I'm proud of her because I'm
(11:09):
like, damn, we couldn't dothat when I started, you feel me.
So now that I see people respecther, then I think that's really
a pivotal moment in society, notjust being accepted in society as a sex
worker, but also you gotta respectus. You gotta look at us as
(11:35):
human beings, because at the endof the day, we could have been
your mother, We could have beenyour auntie, we could have been your
sister cousin. You don't know howwe got this money. You don't know
how we feed our families. Youjust know it's done and we never throw
it in your face. But somepeople turn around and bash sex workers when
(11:58):
the person taking care of you isa sex worker. So I just wanted
to bring that tottle forefront of someof the stories that happened, the sacrifices
of what these people go through,what we go through, well it is
what it is. Thank y'all fortuning in to the Cocktail Ballerina, and
(12:24):
I'll see y'all next week. Bye, baby, Cocktail Ballerina. Was created
and hosted by Keila Young, anexecutive produced by Daniel fasten now Jones and
Skyler fasten now Jones, who wasalso the editor and sound designer. Theme
music was created and performed by TracyZeiles. This was a little bit fasten
(12:50):
Our production.
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