August 14, 2025 • 29 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'd rather have a Raleigh. I'd rather have.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
A Raleigh because Raleigh is the only cigarette that gives
you all. Three from Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring
(00:36):
Red Skelton with David Forrester and his orchestra, Gg Pearson,
Brenda Felton are Singing, Star Aida Alice, Pat McGee and
our guest Wonderful Smith and yours truly right O'Connor. It's
(00:58):
a pleasure to bring you metroport In Mayor popular comedian
in the Star The Role Cigarette Program, Red.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Scalffy, Thank you very much, Thank you, and good evening,
ladies and gentlemen, and happy New Year.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Happy New Year to you, Happy New Year to you too,
Happy New Year to you, well, Happy.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
New Year to you. How we picked that around enough
for this year? Why how did you bring the New
Year in? I had nothing to do with it. I
woke up this morning and there it was. You know.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, during the last year, a lot of water has
passed over the dam.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, in sunny California too, a lot of people got soaked.
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
While I was.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Reading an eventful three hundred and sixty five ways. You know,
the war ended, a lot of the boys came back
from overseas. Racing was stopped.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Did Tracy went on a diet? Wow?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I wonder what the New Year has a store for us?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Butterye hope.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Say, did you hear in the Oklahoma Saint Mary's game today?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes? And it was really exciting. I was sitting in
front of my radio and I could just picture Bing Crosby, Crosby,
Bing Crosby and ingred Bergman sitting on the fifty yard
line ringing their bells for the home team.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It wasn't Hollywood Boulevard crowded last night.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You mean say the Old street was creeping?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, the New Year's festivities were really rollicking.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Well you said that people were climbing up those Christmas
trees like monkeys. They had to give me a banana
before I'd come down. Four guys got arrested for jay
staggering last night. Hey, there was one fellow walked into
into a place and he says to the bartender, a marine,
he's here, I got a pleasant right, he's got a present,
(02:49):
A live lobster here. So the bartender says the most
thanks a lot he's I'll take it home to eat.
The guy she's, don't do that, take him to a movie.
He's all already eating.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'll tell you to make any resolutions for that bad
It wasn't in the Did you make any resolutions for
nineteen forty six?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah? I got a couple. I'll tell you I won't
be able to keep them. Well, Happy New Year to
you and you Red. They tell me, how did you
see the New year?
Speaker 6 (03:26):
In?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:27):
I spent the evening with my mother.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, no other girl can make that stick. That is
still breathing. What did I enjoy? The Red?
Speaker 7 (03:38):
We listened to the radio and really had a wonderful time.
There was only one thing wrong.
Speaker 8 (03:43):
Just as I got to bed, about twelve thirty, some
crazy fellows started palming at my door.
Speaker 7 (03:48):
Why I could have killed him.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Gee, that's awful. What did you do? I nearly got killed? Say?
Did you make any New Year's resolutions? Rode?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Oh, I certainly? Did you know? I resolved be more
helpful to people?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh, well, you know, sort of a two tone ton,
mister Anthony. Huh, Well, look I've got a problem. I've
got a problem. You are a happy little blimp, But
that I can't find an apartment, mister O'Connor, and I'm
sick of living in that two chest with the built
in burden, mat do you?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I can't do anything about the housing short he's read.
But when it comes to brand new cars, that's different,
you know, friends, The makers of Rowley Cigarettes are giving
brand new cars away every day. Yes, each and every
day someone wins the Chevrolet. That's seven winners, seven cars
given away every week. You can win one just as
easily as the winner. I'll announce in.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
A few seconds. This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
Complete this sentence in twenty five words or left. We
should all buy victory bombs because, got it. We should
all buy victory bombs because Send your entries to Raleigh Cigarettes,
Box twelve Toundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with two complete from
two packs of Rawleigh cigarettes.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Now, don't put it off. Write your prize winning sentence
and mail it tonight. Win yourself a brand new car,
just as this winner of December twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
The winner of December the twenty eighth was my cousin Joe.
And will he be surprised he didn't even send in
an entry? No, I'm kidding I'm kidding. The real winner
was Carl Bergstrom, Junior of Superior, Wisconsin. And congratulations mister Bergstrom.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
More winners and outsta on this program tonight.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And remember, smokers, Raleighs are the only cigarettes that give
you all free throat.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Protection, better taste, lasting freshness.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Thank you, gentlemen. And now it's time for Anita Ellis
to answer a musical question. How deep is the ocean?
(06:14):
How much do I love you?
Speaker 7 (06:19):
I'll tell you no lie?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Hoary is the ocean? Ahhh is the skull?
Speaker 8 (06:38):
Many times the day I think of you?
Speaker 9 (06:49):
Many rolls a sprinkle.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
With good.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
How far would I travel just to be?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
How far is the june.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
The fee start.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Of a long How much would I crown? Hardy is
the ocean? Oh? High is the sky? The strength of
(07:47):
my love for.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
You is nore than a hot and all? Oh it is.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
A very much, Thank you very much. The first story
we read this year from our skelt and scrap Book
of Satire is entitled Bells and Resolution. Our characters are fictional.
If you think there's any similarity to person's living.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Don't you believe it.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Chapter thirty three is entitled The Bells of Big fourk, Montana.
Once upon a time there lived a fearless cowboy named
Dead Eye, and every year he would ride into town
the help of the New York Years Celebration a week
in advance, the Fliphead County.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Whoo oo.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Awcome on horse and horse finds ever Nickoley, get on him.
Juke boxers. Think I'll go into Big Jim Brown's bar. Here,
Howdy bunks, Hey, piano player, how about playing my favorite too? No, no, no,
(09:45):
not that one, the other one Accident Symphony. I love that.
Oh there's Migual Margie the Clippers. So long since I've
seen a woman. I don't know whether you hug him
before you say howdy or after howdy dead I I
(10:07):
guess it's after Happy New Year. Girl. Guy, he looks
sweeping up the kids.
Speaker 7 (10:13):
Yeah, and you look dumb enough to try umph.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah, same old gall.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
And you're the same old Dead Eye. Still bull legged?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
White, ain't so bull legged?
Speaker 7 (10:25):
Then put your knees together.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well look at that four feet taller.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
What's new, Dead Eye?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
What's this? I heard about you having a pistol duel
with a host.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
Fate thought you were going to reform.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
I thought you resolved in nineteen forty five to get
a steady job and take home an honest man's living.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I did you show me where the honest man hides it,
and I'll.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Take it home.
Speaker 7 (10:47):
In nineteen forty six, did you fight this guy in
honest stool?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah? Even let him shoot first, and I stepped from
behind the tree and plugged him. It was fair and square.
I got a fair deal and he got a square box.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Well, are you going to bring in the new year
with the honest law Biden citizens of this town?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
By the way, how many good low Biden citizens are
there in this town?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Now?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I don't know. Mis google a cemetery in count huh? Hey,
do you homebreys? Want to make a thousand dollars? A
thousand dollars sounds like somebody pretty desperate for a pound
of butter, don't it? Four days for New.
Speaker 11 (11:27):
Year's even I'll pay a thousand dollars to anyone who
rides to the top of McGregor Mountain and ring that
bell on the old Mission tower at midnight. You got
your man there, a stranger, I'm the best cowboy in
the West. Of course, I don't have a pretty English
accent like Errol Flynn.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I am brave you.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Ring that bell a thousand dollars as your jedi?
Speaker 7 (11:51):
Are you not? The Blackfoot Engines say that bell is bad,
not to anyone who goes near it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, that's why I'm hiring somebody that don't know about
the so called superstition of that bell and him ring it.
Speaker 7 (12:01):
Gosh, did I you think of everything?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Don't you know? Just them pictures in that squire who
just came in over there? Oh they enables howdy stranger
around here? Yeap, fine from Texas handhandle only when I
can't fine work. They nice gear you're wearing there, them
boots they genuine cala hid sure is. I'll prove it.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I'll rub them together.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Great a too. Say, how would you like a job
around here? Bringing in the new year? We need someone
to ring a bell. How much do you pay? I'll
pay what I feel like? What do you want?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I want you to feel good?
Speaker 12 (12:49):
Shall I say twenty dollars?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
If you want to go ahead say twenty dollars, I'm
gonna say ten.
Speaker 12 (12:56):
Okay, it's a deal that sounds like a better deal
than if you don't pay me.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
You don't owe me so much?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, well, shall we get going. The horses are outside.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Okay, I saw your horse.
Speaker 12 (13:11):
He looks just like that long rangers heard silver.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
No, this is his brother, stainless steel. Well, we're offering
the big bell. Holong all along said.
Speaker 13 (13:22):
I stay deadI whey is this bell?
Speaker 12 (13:33):
We've been planning for three days and I'm mighty hungry.
Why I'm so skinny now I'm holding my pants up
with my.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Teeth and it ain't easy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I'll come no teeth. Well, why don't you forget about food?
Think about something else, think about women. I'd rather think
about food instead of women. Ye, boy, I hope I
never get that hungry. There it is big bell in
(14:00):
the robins Old mission. There. Look how big that thing is?
Kind of cold? Here we still got five minutes before
nineteen forty six.
Speaker 12 (14:09):
Dada, what's that big black thing walking around the front
door that looks like a bear?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
A bear? Don't be silly. You're just so hungry. You
think you see food. That's a marah, It looks like
a bell. It's a mara, of course. Uh. Some miragers
are noisier than others. Look, you go over and make
friends with that bear, and I'll go up and ring
the bell. Who me. That's who I'm looking at. Look
(14:38):
that bear just is scary. You are a him.
Speaker 12 (14:41):
I don't see no goose pimples on him.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I will go on over there. If you would to
go over there real fast, that bear would run yeah
home and tell the other bears what he's found for dinner. Look,
i'll tell you what. He's getting pretty close to it.
You go ring the bell and I'll take care of
the bear. That's funny. I'm going forward, but my feet
are going backwards. All right, bear, Now none of that stuff.
(15:08):
Just come a little closer, Just come a little closer.
Well that was a little too close. Did he get you? No?
But help me get eat my pants out of his teeth.
I'll fix him. This forty five will make him lay
down and take notes. Man bare Now all right, I'll
(15:29):
lay down, bear, But give me my gunbag.
Speaker 12 (15:32):
Are you that I'm up to the bell and it's
midnight and.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
We're going to get that thousand bucks? Go ahead, ring it,
I dog, we've.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Got look out for the bell.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
I'll look bear, I've had enough out of you. I'm
gonna open your mountain, break your jaws with my bare hands.
Oh well, I can always count that money with my toes,
(16:09):
say red.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Let's start the new year off right for someone by
giving them a swell fry.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Okay, missus lou Buttons, you win, Van Johnson.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
A red We're gonna announce another winner in Raleigh's Car
Day contests. You know, friends, Each and every day someone
wins a brand new car. Every day, mind you, seven
cars each week. To date, fifty cars have already been
given away by the makers of Rawley Cigarettes, and one
of these might just as well be yours. They're new
nineteen forty six Chevrolets, and they're so easy to win.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Complete this sentence in twenty five additional words or left.
We shall all buy victory bonds. Because send your entries
to Rawley Cigarettes, Box twelve hundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with
two complete rappers from two packs of Rawleigh Cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Enter again and again.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Because winner are chosen from entries received each day, Yes,
each day a new winner.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Entries are judged on uniqueness, originality, and most condensing statement
Judge's decision final juplicate prizes. In case of ties, entries
become property of Rawleigh Cigarettes. Contests limited to United States
and members of the Armed Forces abroad.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Send in your.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Prize winning sentence tonight and win yourself a new car
just as this winner of December twenty ninth a new
Chevrolet goes to Dan Benson of Salt Lake City, Utah.
Congratulations mister Benson. More winners announced tomorrow night on The
Raleigh Room starring Hill the Guard.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Be sure to listen.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Thank you, and now back to Forever two chapter thirty
five of the Skeleton scrap Book. As we turn the page,
we find a clipping from Believe It or Not It
says David Forster is the only musician in the world
whose orchestra is composed of thirty two relatives. Night, the
old Forester family will sagger through the Camptown races. Thank you.
(20:11):
You have a few relatives in the audience to tonight.
I see chapter thirty six and the scrap book is
entitled Resolutions Starting the New Year right as a feat
for some people, but wronger right. Junior shows Granny that
he is still the mean wat of care in the back,
(20:39):
our back, our back up, bringing in the back. I'm
in a.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Cower, Junia, where are you? Where are you?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I'm in here taking a cower.
Speaker 10 (20:55):
O cow that's a good going, happy new year.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Shame do you grandma commands?
Speaker 10 (21:02):
Oh no, dear, Granny'll stay out here while you're taking
your shower.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
No, come on, it's all right, Come on it. I
got my cloth. God what junior?
Speaker 7 (21:16):
Oh, dear, and I'm nineteen forty six, would be different?
Look at you, you're soaking wet.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I am messing.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
When you take a shower, You're supposed to take your
clothes off.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Now, she tells me, did you wash.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Your face school?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
That I did?
Speaker 7 (21:35):
What's all that dirt behind your ears?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
That's where I wash it too, Junior?
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Do you know what day this is?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Certainly? I did. I wasn't born yetterday, you know?
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Well what day is it?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Well, let's see thirty days hish September and uncle George
for driving while he was junior?
Speaker 7 (21:56):
I asked you what d this is? Does you know certainly?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
And why you we both waste each other's time discussing
something we both know by women are sosparating. Sometimes you'll beating.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
So yeah, and I can look that word up from here.
This is the first day of the new year.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, and it should be full of new possibilities, you know,
I hope that you've made a resolution to do bigger
and death thing that die high your die had. If
me resolutions work out like I had them plan this year,
the fire department should be pretty busy. What do you
mean you will hear about it later? I had been
(22:39):
reading up on the atomic bomb. Not only will you
hear about it, the whole town. We'll hear about it.
Part of me here, part of me, dire, part of
me that will be junior all over there.
Speaker 10 (22:56):
You're only kidding you, Yes, and kid, do you realize
what New Year's they mean?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yes? I does. It means that Grandpa won't be able
to get out of bed for two days.
Speaker 7 (23:11):
That's enough.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
Now, now get early and change your clothes. They'll go
say happy New Year to dim the hockey.
Speaker 9 (23:16):
Oh oh the good part of the Now, hold onto
my hands.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I will not do it. I will not. I heard
a big boy, Now, I heard a year old.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
Right. Well, then, darling, why don't you make a new
resolution in nineteen.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
Forty six to help other people?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (23:45):
Won't you take poor old grandma's hand and help grandma.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
Across the street.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Okay, I will do it, now, Hold tight, grandma, don't
get hurt you.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
Now, now, that I have a good hold on your
Nickton Jr. I might as well tell you that I
was just using child psychology on you.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh were you or not? If you got a good
hold on me meeting grandma, I may as well tell
you that me hand ain't in it. He got a
knife out here? Any well?
Speaker 7 (24:21):
I hope Kim's home, Jim?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Who's just Jim? You talk about us?
Speaker 10 (24:25):
This gentleman is a very dear friend of mine, Julia.
If i'd met him before i'd married.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Your grandfather, well sometimes someone.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
No, no, no, that's not right, because if you had
no married grandpa, then you would never met mummy, and
if without mummy you wouldn't have.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
To meet all right, So I made a mistake.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
Yeah, you look younger every Yeah, you know, Benjamin Franklin,
you should tell her the same thing.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
You know. You don't look a day over forty. No,
I'm wrong, you don't look at day over thirty five?
How wrong can you bring around? Oh? I am sorry?
Happy New Year to you?
Speaker 7 (25:09):
Yeah, Junior, won't you come in?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
By Junior? You must be a lot of good company
for your grandmother, trusting old. Ain't you got there? You know?
Thank you? Verna. Remember the first New Year's we met.
Speaker 7 (25:28):
Yes, you gave me a lips on a bicycle.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
A bicycle belt for two eye hawks. Well no, well,
let's not get chickening about.
Speaker 7 (25:39):
It, Julia, Jim, you must come over to dinner sometime.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Thank you? Do you like turkey cam? Yes? Then went
over we cooked. Junior. By the way, where is your husband?
And he's home sleeping in offy? Junior?
Speaker 7 (25:57):
At times I count figure.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
You out around kid you were Oh, look you got
a kiddie car.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
Now don't get don't get up with him. He might
scratch and get blood poison.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Why I love me? Okay? Why you a dandy cat?
Look how funny you ed? I'm going to take you
home with me. Boy here, boy, he's fat. Where he goes,
he's gone right out of my arm. Oh, Jerry, up
on that kof I will climb up there and get him.
(26:45):
It was the catch part he had on his overfues'. Heavens,
what happened, Junior?
Speaker 7 (26:51):
What on earth are you doing?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
There won't be no inflation now because everything's come.
Speaker 7 (26:55):
Down, but that you have to be punnised.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I know. I wish back to you. Go ahead and
spank and go ahead, run your beautiful hands.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
But Bank, I don't have beautiful hair.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yes you don't.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's so sharp, so smooth, so jurgons like you know, but.
Speaker 7 (27:10):
Going well, run along.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
He's really got deef panhands. But I got my final
column to worry about it. Now where that Pat goes? Oh,
there's a big box with lid on. I'll put him
in there. Then I know where he is when I
ready to take him from where'd he goes? There he is?
Now come on, now, I got you in the box.
You go there there.
Speaker 8 (27:39):
He Grandma let me out of this box where they.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Were doing everythings out at the same time, reps felt
David Corus during his office running and Alice Burnt of Falcon,
Kat Pearson, Pat McGee and I yours, Tuli rid Of gone,
I'm theil next Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Then this is Red Skelton saying goodbye. Now, thanks for listening,
and remember the boys still overseas right, and.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Remember listening to Hell the Guard tomorrow night and the
people are funny with out linkletter Friday night over most
of these stations that Scalton is hurting this program for
the courtesy of Metro goover.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
Mayor Sir Walter Rawleigh that's the tobacco of the lesure pipe.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
As clean as a whistle.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
It's carefully blended from rich ripe burlies and mellowed with
just a touch of rum to enhance the natural, full
bodied flavor. Yet, Sir Walter Rawleigh, the quality pipe tobacco
of America.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That scalcl is rocking by the Brown and Widerton.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
The nack of operation
I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'd rather have a Raleigh.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'd rather have a Raleigh. I'd rather have.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
A Raleigh because Raleigh is the only cigarette that gives
you all. Three from Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring
(00:36):
Red Skelton with David Forrester and his orchestra, Gg Pearson,
Brenda Felton are Singing, Star Aida Alice, Pat McGee and
our guest Wonderful Smith and yours truly right O'Connor. It's
(00:58):
a pleasure to bring you metroport In Mayor popular comedian
in the Star The Role Cigarette Program, Red.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Scalffy, Thank you very much, Thank you, and good evening,
ladies and gentlemen, and happy New Year.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Happy New Year to you, Happy New Year to you too,
Happy New Year to you, well, Happy.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
New Year to you. How we picked that around enough
for this year? Why how did you bring the New
Year in? I had nothing to do with it. I
woke up this morning and there it was. You know.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, during the last year, a lot of water has
passed over the dam.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, in sunny California too, a lot of people got soaked.
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
While I was.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Reading an eventful three hundred and sixty five ways. You know,
the war ended, a lot of the boys came back
from overseas. Racing was stopped.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Did Tracy went on a diet? Wow?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I wonder what the New Year has a store for us?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Butterye hope.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Say, did you hear in the Oklahoma Saint Mary's game today?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes? And it was really exciting. I was sitting in
front of my radio and I could just picture Bing Crosby, Crosby,
Bing Crosby and ingred Bergman sitting on the fifty yard
line ringing their bells for the home team.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It wasn't Hollywood Boulevard crowded last night.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You mean say the Old street was creeping?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, the New Year's festivities were really rollicking.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Well you said that people were climbing up those Christmas
trees like monkeys. They had to give me a banana
before I'd come down. Four guys got arrested for jay
staggering last night. Hey, there was one fellow walked into
into a place and he says to the bartender, a marine,
he's here, I got a pleasant right, he's got a present,
(02:49):
A live lobster here. So the bartender says the most
thanks a lot he's I'll take it home to eat.
The guy she's, don't do that, take him to a movie.
He's all already eating.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'll tell you to make any resolutions for that bad
It wasn't in the Did you make any resolutions for
nineteen forty six?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah? I got a couple. I'll tell you I won't
be able to keep them. Well, Happy New Year to
you and you Red. They tell me, how did you
see the New year?
Speaker 6 (03:26):
In?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:27):
I spent the evening with my mother.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, no other girl can make that stick. That is
still breathing. What did I enjoy? The Red?
Speaker 7 (03:38):
We listened to the radio and really had a wonderful time.
There was only one thing wrong.
Speaker 8 (03:43):
Just as I got to bed, about twelve thirty, some
crazy fellows started palming at my door.
Speaker 7 (03:48):
Why I could have killed him.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Gee, that's awful. What did you do? I nearly got killed? Say?
Did you make any New Year's resolutions? Rode?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Oh, I certainly? Did you know? I resolved be more
helpful to people?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh, well, you know, sort of a two tone ton,
mister Anthony. Huh, Well, look I've got a problem. I've
got a problem. You are a happy little blimp, But
that I can't find an apartment, mister O'Connor, and I'm
sick of living in that two chest with the built
in burden, mat do you?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But I can't do anything about the housing short he's read.
But when it comes to brand new cars, that's different,
you know, friends, The makers of Rowley Cigarettes are giving
brand new cars away every day. Yes, each and every
day someone wins the Chevrolet. That's seven winners, seven cars
given away every week. You can win one just as
easily as the winner. I'll announce in.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
A few seconds. This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
Complete this sentence in twenty five words or left. We
should all buy victory bombs because, got it. We should
all buy victory bombs because Send your entries to Raleigh Cigarettes,
Box twelve Toundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with two complete from
two packs of Rawleigh cigarettes.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Now, don't put it off. Write your prize winning sentence
and mail it tonight. Win yourself a brand new car,
just as this winner of December twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
The winner of December the twenty eighth was my cousin Joe.
And will he be surprised he didn't even send in
an entry? No, I'm kidding I'm kidding. The real winner
was Carl Bergstrom, Junior of Superior, Wisconsin. And congratulations mister Bergstrom.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
More winners and outsta on this program tonight.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And remember, smokers, Raleighs are the only cigarettes that give
you all free throat.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Protection, better taste, lasting freshness.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Thank you, gentlemen. And now it's time for Anita Ellis
to answer a musical question. How deep is the ocean?
(06:14):
How much do I love you?
Speaker 7 (06:19):
I'll tell you no lie?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Hoary is the ocean? Ahhh is the skull?
Speaker 8 (06:38):
Many times the day I think of you?
Speaker 9 (06:49):
Many rolls a sprinkle.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
With good.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
How far would I travel just to be?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
How far is the june.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
The fee start.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Of a long How much would I crown? Hardy is
the ocean? Oh? High is the sky? The strength of
(07:47):
my love for.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
You is nore than a hot and all? Oh it is.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
A very much, Thank you very much. The first story
we read this year from our skelt and scrap Book
of Satire is entitled Bells and Resolution. Our characters are fictional.
If you think there's any similarity to person's living.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Don't you believe it.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Chapter thirty three is entitled The Bells of Big fourk, Montana.
Once upon a time there lived a fearless cowboy named
Dead Eye, and every year he would ride into town
the help of the New York Years Celebration a week
in advance, the Fliphead County.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Whoo oo.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Awcome on horse and horse finds ever Nickoley, get on him.
Juke boxers. Think I'll go into Big Jim Brown's bar. Here,
Howdy bunks, Hey, piano player, how about playing my favorite too? No, no, no,
(09:45):
not that one, the other one Accident Symphony. I love that.
Oh there's Migual Margie the Clippers. So long since I've
seen a woman. I don't know whether you hug him
before you say howdy or after howdy dead I I
(10:07):
guess it's after Happy New Year. Girl. Guy, he looks
sweeping up the kids.
Speaker 7 (10:13):
Yeah, and you look dumb enough to try umph.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah, same old gall.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
And you're the same old Dead Eye. Still bull legged?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
White, ain't so bull legged?
Speaker 7 (10:25):
Then put your knees together.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well look at that four feet taller.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
What's new, Dead Eye?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
What's this? I heard about you having a pistol duel
with a host.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
Fate thought you were going to reform.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
I thought you resolved in nineteen forty five to get
a steady job and take home an honest man's living.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I did you show me where the honest man hides it,
and I'll.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Take it home.
Speaker 7 (10:47):
In nineteen forty six, did you fight this guy in
honest stool?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah? Even let him shoot first, and I stepped from
behind the tree and plugged him. It was fair and square.
I got a fair deal and he got a square box.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Well, are you going to bring in the new year
with the honest law Biden citizens of this town?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
By the way, how many good low Biden citizens are
there in this town?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Now?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I don't know. Mis google a cemetery in count huh? Hey,
do you homebreys? Want to make a thousand dollars? A
thousand dollars sounds like somebody pretty desperate for a pound
of butter, don't it? Four days for New.
Speaker 11 (11:27):
Year's even I'll pay a thousand dollars to anyone who
rides to the top of McGregor Mountain and ring that
bell on the old Mission tower at midnight. You got
your man there, a stranger, I'm the best cowboy in
the West. Of course, I don't have a pretty English
accent like Errol Flynn.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I am brave you.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Ring that bell a thousand dollars as your jedi?
Speaker 7 (11:51):
Are you not? The Blackfoot Engines say that bell is bad,
not to anyone who goes near it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, that's why I'm hiring somebody that don't know about
the so called superstition of that bell and him ring it.
Speaker 7 (12:01):
Gosh, did I you think of everything?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Don't you know? Just them pictures in that squire who
just came in over there? Oh they enables howdy stranger
around here? Yeap, fine from Texas handhandle only when I
can't fine work. They nice gear you're wearing there, them
boots they genuine cala hid sure is. I'll prove it.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I'll rub them together.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Great a too. Say, how would you like a job
around here? Bringing in the new year? We need someone
to ring a bell. How much do you pay? I'll
pay what I feel like? What do you want?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I want you to feel good?
Speaker 12 (12:49):
Shall I say twenty dollars?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
If you want to go ahead say twenty dollars, I'm
gonna say ten.
Speaker 12 (12:56):
Okay, it's a deal that sounds like a better deal
than if you don't pay me.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
You don't owe me so much?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, well, shall we get going. The horses are outside.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Okay, I saw your horse.
Speaker 12 (13:11):
He looks just like that long rangers heard silver.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
No, this is his brother, stainless steel. Well, we're offering
the big bell. Holong all along said.
Speaker 13 (13:22):
I stay deadI whey is this bell?
Speaker 12 (13:33):
We've been planning for three days and I'm mighty hungry.
Why I'm so skinny now I'm holding my pants up
with my.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Teeth and it ain't easy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I'll come no teeth. Well, why don't you forget about food?
Think about something else, think about women. I'd rather think
about food instead of women. Ye, boy, I hope I
never get that hungry. There it is big bell in
(14:00):
the robins Old mission. There. Look how big that thing is?
Kind of cold? Here we still got five minutes before
nineteen forty six.
Speaker 12 (14:09):
Dada, what's that big black thing walking around the front
door that looks like a bear?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
A bear? Don't be silly. You're just so hungry. You
think you see food. That's a marah, It looks like
a bell. It's a mara, of course. Uh. Some miragers
are noisier than others. Look, you go over and make
friends with that bear, and I'll go up and ring
the bell. Who me. That's who I'm looking at. Look
(14:38):
that bear just is scary. You are a him.
Speaker 12 (14:41):
I don't see no goose pimples on him.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I will go on over there. If you would to
go over there real fast, that bear would run yeah
home and tell the other bears what he's found for dinner. Look,
i'll tell you what. He's getting pretty close to it.
You go ring the bell and I'll take care of
the bear. That's funny. I'm going forward, but my feet
are going backwards. All right, bear, Now none of that stuff.
(15:08):
Just come a little closer, Just come a little closer.
Well that was a little too close. Did he get you? No?
But help me get eat my pants out of his teeth.
I'll fix him. This forty five will make him lay
down and take notes. Man bare Now all right, I'll
(15:29):
lay down, bear, But give me my gunbag.
Speaker 12 (15:32):
Are you that I'm up to the bell and it's
midnight and.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
We're going to get that thousand bucks? Go ahead, ring it,
I dog, we've.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Got look out for the bell.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
I'll look bear, I've had enough out of you. I'm
gonna open your mountain, break your jaws with my bare hands.
Oh well, I can always count that money with my toes,
(16:09):
say red.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Let's start the new year off right for someone by
giving them a swell fry.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Okay, missus lou Buttons, you win, Van Johnson.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
A red We're gonna announce another winner in Raleigh's Car
Day contests. You know, friends, Each and every day someone
wins a brand new car. Every day, mind you, seven
cars each week. To date, fifty cars have already been
given away by the makers of Rawley Cigarettes, and one
of these might just as well be yours. They're new
nineteen forty six Chevrolets, and they're so easy to win.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
This is all you have to do.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Complete this sentence in twenty five additional words or left.
We shall all buy victory bonds. Because send your entries
to Rawley Cigarettes, Box twelve hundred, Chicago, Illinois, together with
two complete rappers from two packs of Rawleigh Cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Enter again and again.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Because winner are chosen from entries received each day, Yes,
each day a new winner.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Entries are judged on uniqueness, originality, and most condensing statement
Judge's decision final juplicate prizes. In case of ties, entries
become property of Rawleigh Cigarettes. Contests limited to United States
and members of the Armed Forces abroad.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Send in your.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Prize winning sentence tonight and win yourself a new car
just as this winner of December twenty ninth a new
Chevrolet goes to Dan Benson of Salt Lake City, Utah.
Congratulations mister Benson. More winners announced tomorrow night on The
Raleigh Room starring Hill the Guard.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Be sure to listen.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Thank you, and now back to Forever two chapter thirty
five of the Skeleton scrap Book. As we turn the page,
we find a clipping from Believe It or Not It
says David Forster is the only musician in the world
whose orchestra is composed of thirty two relatives. Night, the
old Forester family will sagger through the Camptown races. Thank you.
(20:11):
You have a few relatives in the audience to tonight.
I see chapter thirty six and the scrap book is
entitled Resolutions Starting the New Year right as a feat
for some people, but wronger right. Junior shows Granny that
he is still the mean wat of care in the back,
(20:39):
our back, our back up, bringing in the back. I'm
in a.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Cower, Junia, where are you? Where are you?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I'm in here taking a cower.
Speaker 10 (20:55):
O cow that's a good going, happy new year.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Shame do you grandma commands?
Speaker 10 (21:02):
Oh no, dear, Granny'll stay out here while you're taking
your shower.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
No, come on, it's all right, Come on it. I
got my cloth. God what junior?
Speaker 7 (21:16):
Oh, dear, and I'm nineteen forty six, would be different?
Look at you, you're soaking wet.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I am messing.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
When you take a shower, You're supposed to take your
clothes off.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Now, she tells me, did you wash.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Your face school?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
That I did?
Speaker 7 (21:35):
What's all that dirt behind your ears?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
That's where I wash it too, Junior?
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Do you know what day this is?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Certainly? I did. I wasn't born yetterday, you know?
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Well what day is it?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Well, let's see thirty days hish September and uncle George
for driving while he was junior?
Speaker 7 (21:56):
I asked you what d this is? Does you know certainly?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
And why you we both waste each other's time discussing
something we both know by women are sosparating. Sometimes you'll beating.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
So yeah, and I can look that word up from here.
This is the first day of the new year.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, and it should be full of new possibilities, you know,
I hope that you've made a resolution to do bigger
and death thing that die high your die had. If
me resolutions work out like I had them plan this year,
the fire department should be pretty busy. What do you
mean you will hear about it later? I had been
(22:39):
reading up on the atomic bomb. Not only will you
hear about it, the whole town. We'll hear about it.
Part of me here, part of me, dire, part of
me that will be junior all over there.
Speaker 10 (22:56):
You're only kidding you, Yes, and kid, do you realize
what New Year's they mean?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yes? I does. It means that Grandpa won't be able
to get out of bed for two days.
Speaker 7 (23:11):
That's enough.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
Now, now get early and change your clothes. They'll go
say happy New Year to dim the hockey.
Speaker 9 (23:16):
Oh oh the good part of the Now, hold onto
my hands.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I will not do it. I will not. I heard
a big boy, Now, I heard a year old.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
Right. Well, then, darling, why don't you make a new
resolution in nineteen.
Speaker 7 (23:42):
Forty six to help other people?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (23:45):
Won't you take poor old grandma's hand and help grandma.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
Across the street.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Okay, I will do it, now, Hold tight, grandma, don't
get hurt you.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
Now, now, that I have a good hold on your
Nickton Jr. I might as well tell you that I
was just using child psychology on you.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh were you or not? If you got a good
hold on me meeting grandma, I may as well tell
you that me hand ain't in it. He got a
knife out here? Any well?
Speaker 7 (24:21):
I hope Kim's home, Jim?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Who's just Jim? You talk about us?
Speaker 10 (24:25):
This gentleman is a very dear friend of mine, Julia.
If i'd met him before i'd married.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Your grandfather, well sometimes someone.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
No, no, no, that's not right, because if you had
no married grandpa, then you would never met mummy, and
if without mummy you wouldn't have.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
To meet all right, So I made a mistake.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
Yeah, you look younger every Yeah, you know, Benjamin Franklin,
you should tell her the same thing.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
You know. You don't look a day over forty. No,
I'm wrong, you don't look at day over thirty five?
How wrong can you bring around? Oh? I am sorry?
Happy New Year to you?
Speaker 7 (25:09):
Yeah, Junior, won't you come in?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
By Junior? You must be a lot of good company
for your grandmother, trusting old. Ain't you got there? You know?
Thank you? Verna. Remember the first New Year's we met.
Speaker 7 (25:28):
Yes, you gave me a lips on a bicycle.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
A bicycle belt for two eye hawks. Well no, well,
let's not get chickening about.
Speaker 7 (25:39):
It, Julia, Jim, you must come over to dinner sometime.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Thank you? Do you like turkey cam? Yes? Then went
over we cooked. Junior. By the way, where is your husband?
And he's home sleeping in offy? Junior?
Speaker 7 (25:57):
At times I count figure.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
You out around kid you were Oh, look you got
a kiddie car.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
Now don't get don't get up with him. He might
scratch and get blood poison.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Why I love me? Okay? Why you a dandy cat?
Look how funny you ed? I'm going to take you
home with me. Boy here, boy, he's fat. Where he goes,
he's gone right out of my arm. Oh, Jerry, up
on that kof I will climb up there and get him.
(26:45):
It was the catch part he had on his overfues'. Heavens,
what happened, Junior?
Speaker 7 (26:51):
What on earth are you doing?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
There won't be no inflation now because everything's come.
Speaker 7 (26:55):
Down, but that you have to be punnised.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I know. I wish back to you. Go ahead and
spank and go ahead, run your beautiful hands.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
But Bank, I don't have beautiful hair.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yes you don't.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's so sharp, so smooth, so jurgons like you know, but.
Speaker 7 (27:10):
Going well, run along.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
He's really got deef panhands. But I got my final
column to worry about it. Now where that Pat goes? Oh,
there's a big box with lid on. I'll put him
in there. Then I know where he is when I
ready to take him from where'd he goes? There he is?
Now come on, now, I got you in the box.
You go there there.
Speaker 8 (27:39):
He Grandma let me out of this box where they.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Were doing everythings out at the same time, reps felt
David Corus during his office running and Alice Burnt of Falcon,
Kat Pearson, Pat McGee and I yours, Tuli rid Of gone,
I'm theil next Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Then this is Red Skelton saying goodbye. Now, thanks for listening,
and remember the boys still overseas right, and.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Remember listening to Hell the Guard tomorrow night and the
people are funny with out linkletter Friday night over most
of these stations that Scalton is hurting this program for
the courtesy of Metro goover.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
Mayor Sir Walter Rawleigh that's the tobacco of the lesure pipe.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
As clean as a whistle.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
It's carefully blended from rich ripe burlies and mellowed with
just a touch of rum to enhance the natural, full
bodied flavor. Yet, Sir Walter Rawleigh, the quality pipe tobacco
of America.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That scalcl is rocking by the Brown and Widerton.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
The nack of operation
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