November 1, 2025 • 30 mins
A compilation of humorous shows ranging from slapstick sketches to witty banter and family sitcoms. This series highlights the timeless appeal of laughter and character-driven comedy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
The National Broadcasting Company presents Transcribe The Magnificent Montague, starring
Marty Holly.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Edwin.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The Magnificent Montague is back home in New York after
a grueling visit for Hollywood to make a picture which
was never made. He can now settle down to the
life he loves, recalling his past glories on the Shakespearean.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Stage with his old fellow actors.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
This idyllic existence is marred only by the economic necessity
of his having to degrade himself five times a week.
His uncle Goodheart hero of an afternoon radio program. It
is the morning after the Montagu's arrival from California. Lily,
his wife, and Agnes, the maid, are getting the apartment
(00:59):
back in.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Montague is still asleep. Agnes, who's vacuuming? Er?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Er, way, Honey, up right off the vacuum cleaners. What
is it, honey?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
As the apartment has been empty for two months. We'd
better get a woman in to help us clean.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
We needs a woman. We need a man with a Bulldoger.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
This New York dude is impossible to.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Get a load of the living room floor. I don't
know whether to sweep it or planted.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh, it's not as bad as that it ain't. Huh.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Have you been in the kitchen and looked under that sink?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Or what do you need to clean it out?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
A hunting license, I'll tell you it's big game country
under there.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
We'll have to get the kitchen in order. How would
you get Edwin's breakfast?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'll just pick it off the tree that grew in
the garbage can while we were away.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Oh, come now, Agnes, we're home. Remember Edwin was unhappy
in Hollywood. He was a lost soul.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Imagine a heel having a lost soul.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Agnes, be reasonable.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
After twenty five years, you still don't understand Edwins.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He's gruff and.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Biting only because he's afraid people will discover his secret.
But he's really a warm, soft hearted man.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
He is.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Huh, that's the best kept secret since Radar.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Oh, Agnes, you really like him.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Now you'd better get some coffee ready for him.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I am getting up.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Here.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
He is the hound of the basketbells.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
He's just vocalizing.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Ah here I am back in New York.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Why am I still dreaming? Good morning Edwin, Lily, my
lovely Lila.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And Agnes. How is our beautiful Agnes? This morning.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
He's still dreaming.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
And when I've never seen you.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
So happy, Well in Lee, I'm home, back in our
little apostle.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I can breathe again. Ah, the old familiar air.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It should be Familia. It's the same you exhale the
day we left.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
This Dear, let's not mom my homecoming with those jokes
you picked up in the men's smoker on the train, Edwin.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
We're all happy to be back, but still there's something
to be said about California.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh no, I could be arrested for saying it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Now, Edwin. It's beautiful out there.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Follows poor desolate palm trees out of Hollywood Boulevard, whose
dying leaves seemed to be whispering, Who needs this? Why
don't they take us back to Florida?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Ed When this.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Business about Hollywood has become an obsession with you.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I loved it out there.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
It's beautiful, warm, and above all clean. Look at the
dirt in this apartment.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Beautiful New York dirt. Look out the window, Lily, isn't
it romantic? The first slush of the and the garbage
trucks busily collecting garbage from one street and dumping it on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
His next Lily, Lily, it's New York. Edwin Montague is whole.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Oh, give me a home.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
My the top roach is wrong.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Really, you're both like choos.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Lily, I feel twenty years younger when you're.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Certainly acting it agrees. Will you get the coffee?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Oh no, you're not sending me into that kitchen alone.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Ag me, stop being silly and get the coffee.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Okay, here I go into the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Simba, Simba, that ang is she's a female Milton Bell.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
It's good to be alive and three thousand miles away
from Hollywood, Edwin, will.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
You stop that? People will love me to us out there.
The least you can do is drop the subject.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well, Lily, Darling, I'm sorry, got honey if I thought
you were taking my ravings seriously.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
But when sometimes you overdo things, well, I know.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
I wouldn't be the greatest Shakespeare actor in the last
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Years if I didn't overdo things.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ah, And when you're impossible, now sit down, get ready
for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You'd be late to your broadcast. You know. I'm even
looking forward.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
To seeing Springer and Sinser at the radio station. Uncle
good Heart rides the game.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
By the way, Edwin, do you remember what today is?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Friday? Look at the calendar? All right, well, but it's
still Friday.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Finally, never mind, Agnes the coffee?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Now, Lily, what is today, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
If after all these years you don't remember, never mind today?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Today?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
All of course, fifteen years ago today we opened in
Buffalo and Robbio and Julia.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
It's not that then? What is it? Never mind, Agnes, Lily,
with you stop acting so cute and coy.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
That sort of thing went out and Shirley Temple had
her baby.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Ed when it's if it's of so little importance to
you that you don't care to remember Lily, Lily, of.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Course your birthday, but that's in June, isn't it, yes, Ely.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
In Heaven's name? What's today? Never mind, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I don't want to hear another word about it?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Good? Is it albor Day? No Saint Swithin's Day, no
Labor Day? No? Now, Edwin stopped this. It's Friday.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
That's all you have to know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Good, good, good Friday.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Now, really, Edwin, I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Here's your coffee, thank you?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
What's going on here? From the kitchen? It sounded like
Abbatt and Cassello on a bad night.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Never mind egit, yes, don't stop me a agnes.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I'm on the jackpot question.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Lily, please, but if you don't remember it, then it's pointless.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Will you stop doing this? You're driving me out of
my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Honey, whatever you're doing, keep doing.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
It as I'm wanting you.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'll get the door. It's mister Javis at the Proscenium Club.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
Jovis Montague, Montague, my old companion of the stage.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Lord Hamnett has joyful a return from Hollywood.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Sound the kettle drums and let the trumpet thust, pray
off the triumph for this day, let the darkness for
the thunder, and let once more fortune smile on Nelson.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
He's trying to say, Hello, Quidquad, Hello, Hello friend Montague,
Hello Lily.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Hello Jovis.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's good to see you again.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
Now Montague, you must tell me did you like California?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Don't stop that again, Jarvis. When we are alone, I
will make your hair stand on end.
Speaker 7 (08:12):
You're fellow Shakespearean actress, and I at the club was
sent by the news that you didn't make that motion
picture of Macbeth.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Was all for the best. Jarvis.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I refuse to let them despoil the name of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
We're read in the daily newspaper something about your being
suspended by the studio.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What means this, Lord Hamlet?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It means that Lord Hamlet was bounced out on his ear.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You must forget Agnes.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
The poor girl hasn't been the same since she started
skating without a helmet in the roller derby.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Stop being ridiculous, Come Agnes. Let's finish on persons.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Coming mother, well things.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
The prosidient dub, the last refuge for actors is still
carry the.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Tors of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
We were all a little tension till we heard you
indeed returned from Hollywood. So many have deserted the stage
to remainured by its money.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Ah, but not Jule Montague, not a Hollywood left, Jarvis.
It is an intellectual guess at the indignities I suffer.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I could walk on the street without being chased by
autograph seekers the may the magnificent Montague.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
They thought I was someone called Gabby Hayes. Gabby Hayes.
Speaker 7 (09:33):
Not let me see there was a Hayes who played
in Julius Caesar with me, Her Jarvis, this isn't the one.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
How am I faithful colleagues at the club?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
As usual?
Speaker 7 (09:44):
King Winters emerged victorious in its fight with the club's
oil heater that isn't fixed yet. No, but we have
higher hopes of raising the money. How last Tuesday, while
on his way to the Social Security office, old guy
Teesdale had a lucky fall on the ice in front
of a very solvent restaurants. Not again, please, they are
(10:04):
ready to make a settlement. He's promised that everything over
three hundred dollars goes to the club.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
By the way, Jarvis, is today any special day?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
What is today?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
What a strange coincidence?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
A coincidence? He is the Spaday morning, Mister Oliver asked
me the very same question, the same question. Yes, have
created quite a discussion among the members. We looked it up.
What did you find out it's Friday? Her job? Is
it's something besides Friday? Something important? Why don't you ask Lily?
But she won't tell me. Lily is making life miserable
(10:42):
for me.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Hey, what do you want me to do with ease
Hollywood sports shirt? Your wife thought when you.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Never wore burn them?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
How about this one with a dirty words on them?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Agnes that's French toosu la mour too ju.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
La mour still sounds dirty.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Wait a minute, an As, you must help me, Why Agnes, please,
it's very important to me.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
What is today?
Speaker 8 (11:10):
You mean?
Speaker 9 (11:11):
You don't now?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
No, you d Jarvis. We must find out if I
can be of any help. You can go down to
the clubhouse. Bury yourself in the library, look through every
old theater program and every play.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Lily and I start in somewhere something happened on Friday.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It is very important.
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Go, I fry in the words of Macbeth, to horse
to horse, and let us not.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Be dainty and leave taking but shift away. I go.
Here's the door. I must know what this day means.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
I in the words of Lord Hamlet, there are more
things in heaven and earth a ratio than I dreamt.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Our Jarvis, hurry a horse, a horse my kingdom for
a hole, Our Jarvis.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
We haven't time. Take the subway. Goodbye, Jovis.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
I'm depending on you, so ex noble, good night, sweet Prince.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Ed When you're still home, you're going to be.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Late for your broadcast. My broadcast. Well, here's your coach, Lily. Please,
before I go, what is I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (12:16):
I brought it up if it's so unimportant to you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Oh no, Lily, please Edwin.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Goodbye Friday.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I know, Lily, I don't remember.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
It's going to be black Friday.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We'll be back with a magnificent Montague in just a moment.
Three times mean good Times. On NBC Tomorrow, the NBC
Symphony will be heard in the third of the Saturday
Concert Series under the backtone of celebrated Maestro Arturo Toscanini.
Widely acclaimed as the outstanding musical event of the year,
these one hour performances are proudly brought to you every
(13:02):
Saturday on NBC. For tomorrow's broadcast, Maestro Tuscanini has chosen
Mendelssohn's Midsummer Night's Dream and as the featured work, the
Magnificent Symphony Number two by Brahms Allow back to the
Magnificent Matthau and so ends another episode of Uncle good
(13:34):
Heart and until he meets you again tomorrow in his
little college on the sunny side of the lane, here
is Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
With his thought for the day.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
When a burglar holds a gun to your head after
into your house, he came creeping, go shout or yell
and make him shoot.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Remember your neighbors are sleepy.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Okay, you're off the air, mister Monticaue, I'm not a
great program mis so Monagule. It made me laugh, it
made me cry, it made me sick.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
Well you're just modest.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh, here's our director. How did you like the show?
Missus Indah was.
Speaker 9 (14:20):
A ripednrton lollaplow the all right, all right.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
It's yours while having her back, mister Montague, Yes, Bob,
I bet he did alright with them Hollywood bathing beauties
Asians there I bothered, so Monague, I'm glad to be back.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Well I was until just now. I'll stop this babbling babbling?
Was somebody babbling? I didn't hear anyone babbling? Sinzo were
you babbling?
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Babling?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I wasn't babbling. Who was badling?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Mister Montague said someone was babbling.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
I wasn't babbling. I didn't hear it.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
God stop, dad, it's bounds if somebody opened the door of.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
A pet shop.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Well, we're just happy to see you're back, mister Montagaum.
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Yeah, I was just saying to my wife the other morning,
and it's hearted quiet around the studio without the old girl.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Oh no, no, Inza not hitting anybody today, but remind
me about it tomorrow that I woke up so happy
about being back home.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Now, this thing on my mind Friday Friday.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Something happened on Friday. Somebody did something on Friday. Somebody
did something? Who did something? Zinc did you do something
to me?
Speaker 9 (15:39):
I didn't do anything. Somebody do something?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Stop, gentlemen. I'm trying to think, and I have one
minute of silence. That'll say it's in memory of Zimza's brain.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Misterms you something's troubling off.
Speaker 9 (15:54):
Maybe we can help you.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Mister Montaguan, all right, hold now think what does Friday
lean to you?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Fish?
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Missus Sinza, I would have been horribly disappointed if you
had come up with any other answer.
Speaker 9 (16:10):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Why?
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Yes, today supposed to be a very special day, mister
Montague know for me it is for some reason, this
is a very special day for me.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Is it your birthday? No? Is it your wife's birthday? No?
Have you got a dog? No?
Speaker 9 (16:23):
If you had a dog, would it be his birthday?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
If I had a dog?
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Ginza, I see you've been a good boy while I
was gone. You've been taking your ignorant shots.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
If I had a dog, would it be his birthday?
Speaker 9 (16:42):
I'm sorry, I guess I would just carry it away
by the excitement.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It's just like a quiz show Ginza. A coffee company
would pay a.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Fortune and they could find out the secret of your
vacuum packed heads.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Now concentrate. My wife said this was a special day.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Hey, whyn't July is on a Friday?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Than you give this man six silver dollars and spash
in the face. I can only remember the date.
Speaker 9 (17:13):
The same thing happened to me. My wife got sore
because I couldn't remember Friday. What could it be why
she was sore as a boil when I didn't remember
it was our wedding anniversary?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Sinsa, Please, I'm not interested in your wedding anniversary Friday.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
What can be so special that wedding?
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Ready, witty Ana, Iamora?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That's it? I love you, truly, truly.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I don't sign there on as pratt to see what's happening, Solly,
He snaps us like.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You idiots, don't you know what is the most wonderful
in the world? My twenty fifth wedding anniversary.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Congratulations mister Montagan Gay.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
Married twenty five years be about I'd never mind my aline.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
I was a boy bride, Lillian I twenty five years.
We've never gone out on an anniversary, Liinza, What did
you do on your wedding anniversary?
Speaker 9 (18:15):
We went to Howard Johnson, that's where we first met.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Well, how about you, Springer? Where did you meet your wife?
Speaker 5 (18:24):
It was my secretary?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
How those were that as?
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Where could I take the lip our anniversary to night?
Speaker 9 (18:33):
The wife? And I'd be glad to have you over tonight,
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Linza, But a wedding anniversary, I'd like something more exciting.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
If it's excitement you want, it takes no time at
all to whip out our card table and the canaster cards.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
That's too exciting.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
But it was very kind of you in there, say
why don't you surprise your missus? Lackey did a few years.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Ago on our anniversary. What happened?
Speaker 5 (18:56):
I didn't tell her where I was taking her, just
got on the twenty third Street ferry over the whole broken,
took a bus from there to Union City, New Jersey,
and took her in to see Upper Left.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Jaw, a burlesque show boy your boy one tonight.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
He didn't talk to me for a year. No, I've
got to take Lily to someplace special. I haven't taken
her out since our first when he got a restrict.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Twenty five years ago.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
We went to a wonderful little beauty's cafe in Glennis Village.
It was called the Klana Schitzelbank.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There was Beernese music. Jarvis, who was my best man,
was there. And that's it. That's I'll take thee again.
Where's telephone I'll call Jarvis is right here.
Speaker 9 (19:44):
Mister Montague, Jesus is romantic.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
My help in by pure for parks, the help savenaka. Hello,
Hello Jarvis, marleague. But don't forget about looking up the date.
I've got it, Jarvis. Today is my wedding anniversary. Y Well,
here's what we're doing tonight. I'm having a party at
(20:10):
that little cafe just we did twenty five years ago.
Everything today, same friends, champagne waltzes. Be in front of
the club. In five minutes. I want you to go
down to Granny's village with me and we'll make all
the arrangements for tonight. Goodbye, Jovis, Have I got time?
Mister Montaga, you don't do anything I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
E saying I'll have to run. Oh, how are we done?
Thursday night we were.
Speaker 8 (20:39):
Reading wanting you Are you sure this is the police?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
I'm positive I remember the address and it's the same building.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Did you look at the name the Cuckoo Club? They've
change the day. Let's go in. Here's the door. Well,
what was that? Oh? The doorbell? There's no one in here.
I guess I haven't open yet. It's change.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
Doesn't look anything like declin that schimsel.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Dang. Oh here's the door. That's just manager. Knock, dolly,
I've been quarrying. They with you in a minute. Boys,
I'm on the phone. Now.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Look Mix, you're the chef here. You gotta come in tonight.
What do you give me with what the doctor says?
Somebody's got to be here to cook the food. All right,
all right, so let's say the doctor is right. So
you got the measles. You're gonna be in the kitchen.
No one will see you, Okay, okay, have it your way.
You're letting me down, Mix, So on, that's help you
(21:54):
these days. The cook gets measles right away.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Takes the night off. Tell me miss the names Rocco,
it was thank you.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Tell me, mister Rocco, was this place known as Declinea Schmitzelbank.
Wait a minute, but this is a respectable place. You
don't understand. I know we had a little trouble here
two months ago, but don't go believe in what they're
saying around a newstand.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Please.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
All I meant was twenty five years ago this place
was called Decline a Stitzelbank. Oh kidding, I didn't know that.
When I took it over, it was called Kiddy's t Shop.
There was a little shooting and they lost their liquor license.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
How unfortuate we came over here on the champs that.
I'm sorry, boys, we got all the waiters we need weeks,
mister Rocco. We came here to arrange the party for
the night.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
All customers seen our ad and flair. I no, no,
you see this place has certain memories for us. This
is jobs president of the Presidium Club. Oh you want
to smoker, right, this is the place you don't. I'll
give you a fast shake, three bucks ahead. It entires,
you know, good spaghetti and meatball dinner, paper hats, noise makers,
(23:03):
whatever kind of entertainment.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Your boys bring in. I don't want to know about
you're on your.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Own, I'll give you the key lock up when you're
sleep and that's not quite here. Okay, okay, you got
me over a barrow two and a half bucks ahead,
and you too, get a kickback on.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
All this, Locker. I'm Flandrick's played. This is a wedding anniversary.
Wedding anniversary, why don't you say so?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
We'll give us a special wedding dinner four bucks, a
couple food, cocktail, bill cutlet, a cuckoo club, a good
tomato sauce, and friends.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
All over the place.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Got exactly and I got just a singer for your
hot lip SLOOPO get me here, I love, You're truly
Done't bop man, It's real gone.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Mister locker. Oh just listen.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
When my wife and I was deliberated our first anniversary
back here in thirty six, this.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Place was a lovely little vides cafe.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
This is a memory that is precious to my wife
and the memory of our dearest friends being around us.
A vis Waltz is a good wine of love, friendship
and wolf. This is the memory I want to recreate
for my wife and friends tonight.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
This is why we are here, mister rocco.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
See the rock.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
That's the most beautiful thing I ever heard about this dump.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
Please control yourself an all shad couple.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh no, this cons for drink. I have my mind.
I got it right here. Drink up. It's on me,
you know, thank you.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
I'll drink for all of us to the twenty fifth
anniversary of the most beautiful old couple in New York.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Mister, if we could fix up the places so it.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
Looks a little like it wants white and anything you want,
I'll lock the place up for here. I won't let
any of my client tell in who knows those bumps?
I need a drink if we can get some vial.
These music, Niese music, my favorite music, never crash.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
It's the most beautiful. Please about the food. My wife
will cook it. My wife.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
I was married five times. I never even had one answer.
Versary beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I'll call Della. Here's a call. Stop it.
Speaker 5 (25:39):
It'll be the the old Sisil Bank again with you there,
my best man and.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
All our friends. I won't tell Lily what it is.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
It'll be a surprise. Hello, Delay, it's me Dolly. Two courses, Darling, Dolly.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I am growing over Lila and all that wasn't me.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
No, it wasn't sover threads of money gone. No, Lily,
I'm knock in a bar. I'm phoning for a drugstore.
But I know it sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Everybody's drinking a header call or something. How lessons? They
don't ask questions.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Just meet me at two thirty two Sherton Square at
eight tonight.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Meet me in Saint Louie Louis meets me at the fair.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Quid, Lily, I'm going into a lot of trouble.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Don't ask questions. Just be here at eight o'clock, Dan Javis,
let's get busy. Or how we done? And why we
were aware.
Speaker 9 (26:57):
In a bed?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Were a bed? Oh? The music? What is it? It's
almost eight o'clock. Lily should be here any minute. Why everybody?
I got all the lights time out in front, like
you said, good, she won't know what's going on? So beautiful,
Please I please.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
Jarvis or all the guests he had, just the way
they were twenty five years ago.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
The music, the cake, the present, everything's written out with
the light. Why hurt everybody? Wyett, I'll answer it, Edwin,
What is it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Beautiful?
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Beautiful old what is it quiet by dear friends?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Lily? Did you think I would forget this day?
Speaker 8 (27:57):
Oh? Edwin?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
This is this foodish thing habititch, Lily. And when you're wonderful?
Well how you first discovering it?
Speaker 4 (28:07):
But the thing that you remember that today is Exus's birthday.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I still can't believe.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I what a wonderful party after all? I guess, Lily.
When is our wedding anniversary in April? Why? Oh? Nothing, nothing,
I just had. Oh I don't if I left start thing?
Speaker 6 (28:42):
Come on, Happy birthday today, Happy Birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Janus again next Friday for another transcribe visit with a
Magnificent martinguse starring Marty Woollee, created and directed by Matt
Hyken and written by Nap Hiking and Billy Freedburgh and
Seymour was Lily Pert Kelton was Agnes. Included in tonight's
cast were Johnny Gibson, John Griggs, R. Connie and Gavin Gordon.
This is Don Pardo saying, stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern,
(29:26):
which follows immediately. Three Times Mean Good Times on NBC
this Sunday. On The Big Show, Unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead crossed
his ad libs with unpredictable Raucho Marx. Among the other
big show stars will be Martin and Lewis, Gordon McCray,
Joan Davis and Judy Garland. For drama, this Sunday theater
(29:47):
Gil Down the Air presents the gripping story within the Law,
starring Ginger Rogers and Lee Tracy have.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Fun of Duffy's tavern. Then William Bendix on NBC
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Four
The National Broadcasting Company presents Transcribe The Magnificent Montague, starring
Marty Holly.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Edwin.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The Magnificent Montague is back home in New York after
a grueling visit for Hollywood to make a picture which
was never made. He can now settle down to the
life he loves, recalling his past glories on the Shakespearean.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Stage with his old fellow actors.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
This idyllic existence is marred only by the economic necessity
of his having to degrade himself five times a week.
His uncle Goodheart hero of an afternoon radio program. It
is the morning after the Montagu's arrival from California. Lily,
his wife, and Agnes, the maid, are getting the apartment
(00:59):
back in.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Montague is still asleep. Agnes, who's vacuuming? Er?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Er, way, Honey, up right off the vacuum cleaners. What
is it, honey?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
As the apartment has been empty for two months. We'd
better get a woman in to help us clean.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
We needs a woman. We need a man with a Bulldoger.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
This New York dude is impossible to.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Get a load of the living room floor. I don't
know whether to sweep it or planted.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh, it's not as bad as that it ain't. Huh.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Have you been in the kitchen and looked under that sink?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Or what do you need to clean it out?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
A hunting license, I'll tell you it's big game country
under there.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
We'll have to get the kitchen in order. How would
you get Edwin's breakfast?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'll just pick it off the tree that grew in
the garbage can while we were away.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Oh, come now, Agnes, we're home. Remember Edwin was unhappy
in Hollywood. He was a lost soul.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Imagine a heel having a lost soul.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Agnes, be reasonable.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
After twenty five years, you still don't understand Edwins.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He's gruff and.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Biting only because he's afraid people will discover his secret.
But he's really a warm, soft hearted man.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
He is.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Huh, that's the best kept secret since Radar.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Oh, Agnes, you really like him.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Now you'd better get some coffee ready for him.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I am getting up.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Here.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
He is the hound of the basketbells.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
He's just vocalizing.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Ah here I am back in New York.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Why am I still dreaming? Good morning Edwin, Lily, my
lovely Lila.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And Agnes. How is our beautiful Agnes? This morning.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
He's still dreaming.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
And when I've never seen you.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
So happy, Well in Lee, I'm home, back in our
little apostle.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I can breathe again. Ah, the old familiar air.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It should be Familia. It's the same you exhale the
day we left.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
This Dear, let's not mom my homecoming with those jokes
you picked up in the men's smoker on the train, Edwin.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
We're all happy to be back, but still there's something
to be said about California.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh no, I could be arrested for saying it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Now, Edwin. It's beautiful out there.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Follows poor desolate palm trees out of Hollywood Boulevard, whose
dying leaves seemed to be whispering, Who needs this? Why
don't they take us back to Florida?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Ed When this.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Business about Hollywood has become an obsession with you.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I loved it out there.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
It's beautiful, warm, and above all clean. Look at the
dirt in this apartment.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Beautiful New York dirt. Look out the window, Lily, isn't
it romantic? The first slush of the and the garbage
trucks busily collecting garbage from one street and dumping it on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
His next Lily, Lily, it's New York. Edwin Montague is whole.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Oh, give me a home.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
My the top roach is wrong.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Really, you're both like choos.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Lily, I feel twenty years younger when you're.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Certainly acting it agrees. Will you get the coffee?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Oh no, you're not sending me into that kitchen alone.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Ag me, stop being silly and get the coffee.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Okay, here I go into the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Simba, Simba, that ang is she's a female Milton Bell.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
It's good to be alive and three thousand miles away
from Hollywood, Edwin, will.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
You stop that? People will love me to us out there.
The least you can do is drop the subject.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well, Lily, Darling, I'm sorry, got honey if I thought
you were taking my ravings seriously.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
But when sometimes you overdo things, well, I know.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
I wouldn't be the greatest Shakespeare actor in the last
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Years if I didn't overdo things.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ah, And when you're impossible, now sit down, get ready
for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You'd be late to your broadcast. You know. I'm even
looking forward.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
To seeing Springer and Sinser at the radio station. Uncle
good Heart rides the game.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
By the way, Edwin, do you remember what today is?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Friday? Look at the calendar? All right, well, but it's
still Friday.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Finally, never mind, Agnes the coffee?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Now, Lily, what is today, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
If after all these years you don't remember, never mind today?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Today?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
All of course, fifteen years ago today we opened in
Buffalo and Robbio and Julia.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
It's not that then? What is it? Never mind, Agnes, Lily,
with you stop acting so cute and coy.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
That sort of thing went out and Shirley Temple had
her baby.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Ed when it's if it's of so little importance to
you that you don't care to remember Lily, Lily, of.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Course your birthday, but that's in June, isn't it, yes, Ely.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
In Heaven's name? What's today? Never mind, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I don't want to hear another word about it?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Good? Is it albor Day? No Saint Swithin's Day, no
Labor Day? No? Now, Edwin stopped this. It's Friday.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
That's all you have to know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Good, good, good Friday.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Now, really, Edwin, I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Here's your coffee, thank you?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
What's going on here? From the kitchen? It sounded like
Abbatt and Cassello on a bad night.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Never mind egit, yes, don't stop me a agnes.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I'm on the jackpot question.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Lily, please, but if you don't remember it, then it's pointless.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Will you stop doing this? You're driving me out of
my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Honey, whatever you're doing, keep doing.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
It as I'm wanting you.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'll get the door. It's mister Javis at the Proscenium Club.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
Jovis Montague, Montague, my old companion of the stage.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Lord Hamnett has joyful a return from Hollywood.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Sound the kettle drums and let the trumpet thust, pray
off the triumph for this day, let the darkness for
the thunder, and let once more fortune smile on Nelson.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
He's trying to say, Hello, Quidquad, Hello, Hello friend Montague,
Hello Lily.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Hello Jovis.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's good to see you again.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
Now Montague, you must tell me did you like California?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Don't stop that again, Jarvis. When we are alone, I
will make your hair stand on end.
Speaker 7 (08:12):
You're fellow Shakespearean actress, and I at the club was
sent by the news that you didn't make that motion
picture of Macbeth.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Was all for the best. Jarvis.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I refuse to let them despoil the name of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
We're read in the daily newspaper something about your being
suspended by the studio.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What means this, Lord Hamlet?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It means that Lord Hamlet was bounced out on his ear.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You must forget Agnes.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
The poor girl hasn't been the same since she started
skating without a helmet in the roller derby.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Stop being ridiculous, Come Agnes. Let's finish on persons.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Coming mother, well things.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
The prosidient dub, the last refuge for actors is still
carry the.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Tors of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
We were all a little tension till we heard you
indeed returned from Hollywood. So many have deserted the stage
to remainured by its money.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Ah, but not Jule Montague, not a Hollywood left, Jarvis.
It is an intellectual guess at the indignities I suffer.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I could walk on the street without being chased by
autograph seekers the may the magnificent Montague.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
They thought I was someone called Gabby Hayes. Gabby Hayes.
Speaker 7 (09:33):
Not let me see there was a Hayes who played
in Julius Caesar with me, Her Jarvis, this isn't the one.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
How am I faithful colleagues at the club?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
As usual?
Speaker 7 (09:44):
King Winters emerged victorious in its fight with the club's
oil heater that isn't fixed yet. No, but we have
higher hopes of raising the money. How last Tuesday, while
on his way to the Social Security office, old guy
Teesdale had a lucky fall on the ice in front
of a very solvent restaurants. Not again, please, they are
(10:04):
ready to make a settlement. He's promised that everything over
three hundred dollars goes to the club.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
By the way, Jarvis, is today any special day?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
What is today?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
What a strange coincidence?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
A coincidence? He is the Spaday morning, Mister Oliver asked
me the very same question, the same question. Yes, have
created quite a discussion among the members. We looked it up.
What did you find out it's Friday? Her job? Is
it's something besides Friday? Something important? Why don't you ask Lily?
But she won't tell me. Lily is making life miserable
(10:42):
for me.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Hey, what do you want me to do with ease
Hollywood sports shirt? Your wife thought when you.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Never wore burn them?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
How about this one with a dirty words on them?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Agnes that's French toosu la mour too ju.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
La mour still sounds dirty.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Wait a minute, an As, you must help me, Why Agnes, please,
it's very important to me.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
What is today?
Speaker 8 (11:10):
You mean?
Speaker 9 (11:11):
You don't now?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
No, you d Jarvis. We must find out if I
can be of any help. You can go down to
the clubhouse. Bury yourself in the library, look through every
old theater program and every play.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Lily and I start in somewhere something happened on Friday.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It is very important.
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Go, I fry in the words of Macbeth, to horse
to horse, and let us not.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Be dainty and leave taking but shift away. I go.
Here's the door. I must know what this day means.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
I in the words of Lord Hamlet, there are more
things in heaven and earth a ratio than I dreamt.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Our Jarvis, hurry a horse, a horse my kingdom for
a hole, Our Jarvis.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
We haven't time. Take the subway. Goodbye, Jovis.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
I'm depending on you, so ex noble, good night, sweet Prince.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Ed When you're still home, you're going to be.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Late for your broadcast. My broadcast. Well, here's your coach, Lily. Please,
before I go, what is I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (12:16):
I brought it up if it's so unimportant to you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Oh no, Lily, please Edwin.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Goodbye Friday.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I know, Lily, I don't remember.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
It's going to be black Friday.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We'll be back with a magnificent Montague in just a moment.
Three times mean good Times. On NBC Tomorrow, the NBC
Symphony will be heard in the third of the Saturday
Concert Series under the backtone of celebrated Maestro Arturo Toscanini.
Widely acclaimed as the outstanding musical event of the year,
these one hour performances are proudly brought to you every
(13:02):
Saturday on NBC. For tomorrow's broadcast, Maestro Tuscanini has chosen
Mendelssohn's Midsummer Night's Dream and as the featured work, the
Magnificent Symphony Number two by Brahms Allow back to the
Magnificent Matthau and so ends another episode of Uncle good
(13:34):
Heart and until he meets you again tomorrow in his
little college on the sunny side of the lane, here
is Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
With his thought for the day.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
When a burglar holds a gun to your head after
into your house, he came creeping, go shout or yell
and make him shoot.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Remember your neighbors are sleepy.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Okay, you're off the air, mister Monticaue, I'm not a
great program mis so Monagule. It made me laugh, it
made me cry, it made me sick.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
Well you're just modest.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh, here's our director. How did you like the show?
Missus Indah was.
Speaker 9 (14:20):
A ripednrton lollaplow the all right, all right.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
It's yours while having her back, mister Montague, Yes, Bob,
I bet he did alright with them Hollywood bathing beauties
Asians there I bothered, so Monague, I'm glad to be back.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Well I was until just now. I'll stop this babbling babbling?
Was somebody babbling? I didn't hear anyone babbling? Sinzo were
you babbling?
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Babling?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I wasn't babbling. Who was badling?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Mister Montague said someone was babbling.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
I wasn't babbling. I didn't hear it.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
God stop, dad, it's bounds if somebody opened the door of.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
A pet shop.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Well, we're just happy to see you're back, mister Montagaum.
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Yeah, I was just saying to my wife the other morning,
and it's hearted quiet around the studio without the old girl.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Oh no, no, Inza not hitting anybody today, but remind
me about it tomorrow that I woke up so happy
about being back home.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Now, this thing on my mind Friday Friday.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Something happened on Friday. Somebody did something on Friday. Somebody
did something? Who did something? Zinc did you do something
to me?
Speaker 9 (15:39):
I didn't do anything. Somebody do something?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Stop, gentlemen. I'm trying to think, and I have one
minute of silence. That'll say it's in memory of Zimza's brain.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Misterms you something's troubling off.
Speaker 9 (15:54):
Maybe we can help you.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Mister Montaguan, all right, hold now think what does Friday
lean to you?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Fish?
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Missus Sinza, I would have been horribly disappointed if you
had come up with any other answer.
Speaker 9 (16:10):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Why?
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Yes, today supposed to be a very special day, mister
Montague know for me it is for some reason, this
is a very special day for me.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Is it your birthday? No? Is it your wife's birthday? No?
Have you got a dog? No?
Speaker 9 (16:23):
If you had a dog, would it be his birthday?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
If I had a dog?
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Ginza, I see you've been a good boy while I
was gone. You've been taking your ignorant shots.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
If I had a dog, would it be his birthday?
Speaker 9 (16:42):
I'm sorry, I guess I would just carry it away
by the excitement.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It's just like a quiz show Ginza. A coffee company
would pay a.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Fortune and they could find out the secret of your
vacuum packed heads.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Now concentrate. My wife said this was a special day.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Hey, whyn't July is on a Friday?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Than you give this man six silver dollars and spash
in the face. I can only remember the date.
Speaker 9 (17:13):
The same thing happened to me. My wife got sore
because I couldn't remember Friday. What could it be why
she was sore as a boil when I didn't remember
it was our wedding anniversary?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Sinsa, Please, I'm not interested in your wedding anniversary Friday.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
What can be so special that wedding?
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Ready, witty Ana, Iamora?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That's it? I love you, truly, truly.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I don't sign there on as pratt to see what's happening, Solly,
He snaps us like.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You idiots, don't you know what is the most wonderful
in the world? My twenty fifth wedding anniversary.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Congratulations mister Montagan Gay.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
Married twenty five years be about I'd never mind my aline.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
I was a boy bride, Lillian I twenty five years.
We've never gone out on an anniversary, Liinza, What did
you do on your wedding anniversary?
Speaker 9 (18:15):
We went to Howard Johnson, that's where we first met.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Well, how about you, Springer? Where did you meet your wife?
Speaker 5 (18:24):
It was my secretary?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
How those were that as?
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Where could I take the lip our anniversary to night?
Speaker 9 (18:33):
The wife? And I'd be glad to have you over tonight,
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Linza, But a wedding anniversary, I'd like something more exciting.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
If it's excitement you want, it takes no time at
all to whip out our card table and the canaster cards.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
That's too exciting.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
But it was very kind of you in there, say
why don't you surprise your missus? Lackey did a few years.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Ago on our anniversary. What happened?
Speaker 5 (18:56):
I didn't tell her where I was taking her, just
got on the twenty third Street ferry over the whole broken,
took a bus from there to Union City, New Jersey,
and took her in to see Upper Left.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Jaw, a burlesque show boy your boy one tonight.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
He didn't talk to me for a year. No, I've
got to take Lily to someplace special. I haven't taken
her out since our first when he got a restrict.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Twenty five years ago.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
We went to a wonderful little beauty's cafe in Glennis Village.
It was called the Klana Schitzelbank.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There was Beernese music. Jarvis, who was my best man,
was there. And that's it. That's I'll take thee again.
Where's telephone I'll call Jarvis is right here.
Speaker 9 (19:44):
Mister Montague, Jesus is romantic.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
My help in by pure for parks, the help savenaka. Hello,
Hello Jarvis, marleague. But don't forget about looking up the date.
I've got it, Jarvis. Today is my wedding anniversary. Y Well,
here's what we're doing tonight. I'm having a party at
(20:10):
that little cafe just we did twenty five years ago.
Everything today, same friends, champagne waltzes. Be in front of
the club. In five minutes. I want you to go
down to Granny's village with me and we'll make all
the arrangements for tonight. Goodbye, Jovis, Have I got time?
Mister Montaga, you don't do anything I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
E saying I'll have to run. Oh, how are we done?
Thursday night we were.
Speaker 8 (20:39):
Reading wanting you Are you sure this is the police?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
I'm positive I remember the address and it's the same building.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Did you look at the name the Cuckoo Club? They've
change the day. Let's go in. Here's the door. Well,
what was that? Oh? The doorbell? There's no one in here.
I guess I haven't open yet. It's change.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
Doesn't look anything like declin that schimsel.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Dang. Oh here's the door. That's just manager. Knock, dolly,
I've been quarrying. They with you in a minute. Boys,
I'm on the phone. Now.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Look Mix, you're the chef here. You gotta come in tonight.
What do you give me with what the doctor says?
Somebody's got to be here to cook the food. All right,
all right, so let's say the doctor is right. So
you got the measles. You're gonna be in the kitchen.
No one will see you, Okay, okay, have it your way.
You're letting me down, Mix, So on, that's help you
(21:54):
these days. The cook gets measles right away.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Takes the night off. Tell me miss the names Rocco,
it was thank you.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Tell me, mister Rocco, was this place known as Declinea Schmitzelbank.
Wait a minute, but this is a respectable place. You
don't understand. I know we had a little trouble here
two months ago, but don't go believe in what they're
saying around a newstand.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Please.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
All I meant was twenty five years ago this place
was called Decline a Stitzelbank. Oh kidding, I didn't know that.
When I took it over, it was called Kiddy's t Shop.
There was a little shooting and they lost their liquor license.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
How unfortuate we came over here on the champs that.
I'm sorry, boys, we got all the waiters we need weeks,
mister Rocco. We came here to arrange the party for
the night.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
All customers seen our ad and flair. I no, no,
you see this place has certain memories for us. This
is jobs president of the Presidium Club. Oh you want
to smoker, right, this is the place you don't. I'll
give you a fast shake, three bucks ahead. It entires,
you know, good spaghetti and meatball dinner, paper hats, noise makers,
(23:03):
whatever kind of entertainment.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Your boys bring in. I don't want to know about
you're on your.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Own, I'll give you the key lock up when you're
sleep and that's not quite here. Okay, okay, you got
me over a barrow two and a half bucks ahead,
and you too, get a kickback on.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
All this, Locker. I'm Flandrick's played. This is a wedding anniversary.
Wedding anniversary, why don't you say so?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
We'll give us a special wedding dinner four bucks, a
couple food, cocktail, bill cutlet, a cuckoo club, a good
tomato sauce, and friends.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
All over the place.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Got exactly and I got just a singer for your
hot lip SLOOPO get me here, I love, You're truly
Done't bop man, It's real gone.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Mister locker. Oh just listen.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
When my wife and I was deliberated our first anniversary
back here in thirty six, this.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Place was a lovely little vides cafe.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
This is a memory that is precious to my wife
and the memory of our dearest friends being around us.
A vis Waltz is a good wine of love, friendship
and wolf. This is the memory I want to recreate
for my wife and friends tonight.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
This is why we are here, mister rocco.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
See the rock.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
That's the most beautiful thing I ever heard about this dump.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
Please control yourself an all shad couple.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Oh no, this cons for drink. I have my mind.
I got it right here. Drink up. It's on me,
you know, thank you.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
I'll drink for all of us to the twenty fifth
anniversary of the most beautiful old couple in New York.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Mister, if we could fix up the places so it.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
Looks a little like it wants white and anything you want,
I'll lock the place up for here. I won't let
any of my client tell in who knows those bumps?
I need a drink if we can get some vial.
These music, Niese music, my favorite music, never crash.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
It's the most beautiful. Please about the food. My wife
will cook it. My wife.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
I was married five times. I never even had one answer.
Versary beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I'll call Della. Here's a call. Stop it.
Speaker 5 (25:39):
It'll be the the old Sisil Bank again with you there,
my best man and.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
All our friends. I won't tell Lily what it is.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
It'll be a surprise. Hello, Delay, it's me Dolly. Two courses, Darling, Dolly.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I am growing over Lila and all that wasn't me.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
No, it wasn't sover threads of money gone. No, Lily,
I'm knock in a bar. I'm phoning for a drugstore.
But I know it sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Everybody's drinking a header call or something. How lessons? They
don't ask questions.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Just meet me at two thirty two Sherton Square at
eight tonight.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Meet me in Saint Louie Louis meets me at the fair.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Quid, Lily, I'm going into a lot of trouble.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Don't ask questions. Just be here at eight o'clock, Dan Javis,
let's get busy. Or how we done? And why we
were aware.
Speaker 9 (26:57):
In a bed?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Were a bed? Oh? The music? What is it? It's
almost eight o'clock. Lily should be here any minute. Why everybody?
I got all the lights time out in front, like
you said, good, she won't know what's going on? So beautiful,
Please I please.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
Jarvis or all the guests he had, just the way
they were twenty five years ago.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
The music, the cake, the present, everything's written out with
the light. Why hurt everybody? Wyett, I'll answer it, Edwin,
What is it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Beautiful?
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Beautiful old what is it quiet by dear friends?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Lily? Did you think I would forget this day?
Speaker 8 (27:57):
Oh? Edwin?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
This is this foodish thing habititch, Lily. And when you're wonderful?
Well how you first discovering it?
Speaker 4 (28:07):
But the thing that you remember that today is Exus's birthday.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I still can't believe.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I what a wonderful party after all? I guess, Lily.
When is our wedding anniversary in April? Why? Oh? Nothing, nothing,
I just had. Oh I don't if I left start thing?
Speaker 6 (28:42):
Come on, Happy birthday today, Happy Birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Janus again next Friday for another transcribe visit with a
Magnificent martinguse starring Marty Woollee, created and directed by Matt
Hyken and written by Nap Hiking and Billy Freedburgh and
Seymour was Lily Pert Kelton was Agnes. Included in tonight's
cast were Johnny Gibson, John Griggs, R. Connie and Gavin Gordon.
This is Don Pardo saying, stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern,
(29:26):
which follows immediately. Three Times Mean Good Times on NBC
this Sunday. On The Big Show, Unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead crossed
his ad libs with unpredictable Raucho Marx. Among the other
big show stars will be Martin and Lewis, Gordon McCray,
Joan Davis and Judy Garland. For drama, this Sunday theater
(29:47):
Gil Down the Air presents the gripping story within the Law,
starring Ginger Rogers and Lee Tracy have.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Fun of Duffy's tavern. Then William Bendix on NBC
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Four
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