July 23, 2025 • 28 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Johnson Wax Program with Fiber McGhee and Molly, The
makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's Self Polishing Blowcoaches present
Marion and Jim Jordan as Fiber McGee and Molly, with
Bill Thompson, the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
The show opens with Shine and.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Once again it's Fibber McGhee and Molly times Fiber McGhee
and Molly. The dramatic story of a woman with her
faith in a man and a man.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
With his faith in a newspaper.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Will something exciting, unusual or momentous take place in the
Little Frame House at seventy nine Wistful Vista tonight? Or
is that expecting too much?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I guess it's expecting too much.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Anyway, here they are web McKee and Molly.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Anything interesting in the paper, deary well.
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Here's an interesting article on crop circless ma. You don't say, now,
take corn for instance.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Certainly we can take it and we can dish it out.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
Hey, I'm serious. This writer says that if conditions keep up,
the small farmer will be completely anhiliated. Hey, what's anahiliated?
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Anhiliated? Why that means well when a farmer. Well, now,
for instance, where's the dictionary. It's probably in the closet
with the rest of your stuff. Give me your key
and I'll get it for it.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
Oh no, you don't. You lay off the stuff in
that closet. I got all my stuff arranged in there,
just the way I want it.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Now, don't be silly. Give me the key. Okay.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
I let's see which one of these.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Is the most heavenly days. Why do you carry all
those keys? Does it make you feel important or something?
Speaker 6 (03:21):
What do you mean important? Every one of them keys
is necessary.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
What's that little key there for?
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Oh, that's a padlock key?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
What padlock for?
Speaker 6 (03:30):
The for the backyard gate we used to have in Peoria?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
What are you keeping that for? Are you homesick? No?
Speaker 6 (03:40):
But if we ever moved back to Peory, I try
to rent the same house because this key fits the
padlock there. You gotta think ahead in these things. And
you see this key here.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Looks like the key to a can of salmon.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
No, sorry, EANs, I use that to clean my pipe
with I see. Now, let's see which one of these
keys is the closet door keys?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
See?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yeah, maybe we better see the closet is locked. Let
me take it.
Speaker 6 (04:01):
Oh it's locked, all right. You don't think i'd leave
all my personal defects laying around for any prowler to
get his hands on.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
McGhee, It isn't locked an hour? Oh tempt McGee. I'm
buried alive. Get this junk off of me, all right?
Speaker 6 (04:29):
But Dad, radit, you might have been more car camp.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
There's funny little insects all over me. Brush them off.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Oh, calm yourself, calm yourself. Them are my trop flies.
Oh gun it, Molly, why did you have to go
and mess up?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:42):
Dear, come in remember McGee and Molly, Yes, tell me.
Speaker 7 (04:47):
With all these radio shows being changed, is it true
that you're gonna cut your program.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
Down to a half hour? What do you mean cut
it down? It's only a half hour now, what? Boy?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
It sure seems like an hour.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Well, as the guy says, when he fell off of
the horse and heard something bust that sounded to me
like a rib.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
I never mind that now, h dear, old dear, look
at all this junk that fell out of that closet.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
Don't worry. I'll put it back.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Molly, Oh no, you won't.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
Huh.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We're going to go through that pile of hot nuts
and throw everything out we don't need.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Oh yeah, well, I've been through this stuff one hundred
times and there ain't a thing of it that I
can spare.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Oh, there isn't no what's this old rusty horse shoe for?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Well? I found that in nineteen eleven. As soon as
I bind three more, we can pitch horse shoes in
the backyard.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I see you expect to bind three more. Beta. You
don't think the automobile is here to stay?
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Eh, won't be if we don't catch up with the payments,
kind misty, Oh, hello there, little girl. What you want?
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Remember that job? You promised me to take care of
your baby, only you didn't have one. So I was
gonna bring my little brother over and take care of him.
Remember who do you whom? Yes? Yes, sure, Well, well
the deal is off.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
See what you mean? The deal is off. In the
first place, there wasn't any deal, And in the second,
my mommy.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Had to take my little brother to the doctor today,
so I can't bring him over.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Oh that's too bad. What's the matter with your little brother?
Anything serious?
Speaker 5 (06:29):
My mamma thinks, So she thinks, so she thinks, so
I had to clam my throat. She thinks he swallowed
a dime.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Swallow the dime. We'll say that is serious. Oh no,
it isn't oyous. It is No, it isn't ohious.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
It is he didn't swallow dime. I bet you, huh
it was only eight cents.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Only eight cents. How do you know?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Were we were playing slop machine and I fed him
to him. What you're doing mischief?
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Well, we're cleaning out this closet. If you must know,
I mustn't, mustn't what? No, no, yeah, what? Oh? Listen
to suppose you've gone home and annoy somebody else. Go
bother your daddy.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
He isn't home. He's working on the senseless on the
wy the senseless. He goes to people's doors and asks
him how many people in the family, and how old
are you? And all stuff like that. There.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
I bet you, oh, you mean the senses, Jux. I
didn't even think of kids your age knew what a
census was.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Well I do, I bet you, yeah, A census is
information plays on the red, white, and Blue network.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
While we're waiting for fiber and malay to return. I'd
like your attention for just a minute. If you have
valuable jewels, you protect them by keeping them and your
safe or in a secret compartment. Valuable papers you keep
in a strong box or vault. How can you protect
your valuable furniture, floors, and woodwork by locking them under
(08:42):
a safe, protective shield of genuine Johnson's wax. That may
seem like a strong statement, but it's really true. When
you apply a coat of Johnson's wax, you are completely
covering the surface with an invisible yet.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Very tough shield of real wax.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
This wax guards the floors and furniture surfaces against wear
and against dirt and moisture. From time to time, you
renew the coating of Johnson's wax, and your floors and
furniture are given permanent protection. What is equally important they
have that rich wax polished glow that good housekeepers cherish.
If your home is not wax protected and wax beautified,
(09:17):
order genuine Johnson's wax paste or liquid tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Eventy days. Meggie, imagine all this stuff falling out of
one little closet. How'd you ever get it all in there?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I don't know, I guess I just inherit a gift
for packing. My great aunt Minnie had a job stuff
and pimentos into olives. Oh hey, look at this, Molly,
the tabarette I made in manual training.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Yeah, didn't you ever finish anything? It's only got three legs.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
They wouldn't let me stay in the fifth grade another year.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Ah McGhee. Look one of our old dance programs before
we were married. I didn't know you were so sentimental, Dartie.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Is that a dance program? I was saving it on
account of that little pencil hanging on to it. You
never know when you'll need a pencil.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Listen to this Wallts Walts, Turkey Trot Walts, Bunny Hug Walls,
Texas Tommy Walls. What no Grizzly bear waltz? You had
every dance with me but the last Walls Leggee, who
did you dance that one? Well?
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Why nobody? We sat that one out in the buggy.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Remember, Oh yeah, and we couldn't go back to the dance.
It's because you said on a box of Lowney's chocolate
covered cherries and spoils your white pets.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
That was the night that took the tea. Come in.
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Oh hold Jay, hol dy say, I'm looking for a
nice room in the neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Got wonder red. No, I don't believe so, Miss Grolteimer.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
Oh come on, kids, I'll pay three bucks a week
with meals, or two bucks a week and eat out
for tune and a half if you leave me see
the funny paper first on Sundays.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Nothing doing, old timer. We ain't taking borders.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Hey, absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (11:39):
The last border we had was a tap dancer kept
me awake all morning. I finally got tired of it,
knocked him cold with one of his steel plated chees
and stumped it into his own trunk.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Hey. Incidentally, McGhee, where did you ship that trunk.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
Off to Buffalo? Wow?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
That's pretty good, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
But that ain't the way I hear it.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
I hear it. One fella's had Tillerfeller say, he said,
I see where.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
Scarlet and Hara got the Academy award. Yep, says Tilerfealler.
She lost out with rep but she sure got her oscar. Well,
I'm tiry, you ain't got a room for me. Slapped
in the park all last summer and didn't like it.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
The roof leet' trong here.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
I'm getting a little tired of all them gone with
the wind gags. I don't know how a picture about
the bluegrass country could produce so many bomb plugs.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
I'll never mind that. McGee. Isn't there any of this
junk we can throw away? Now?
Speaker 6 (12:49):
Well, let me see him. How about this old photograph
album here?
Speaker 5 (12:52):
I should say not, that's got all our family pictures
in it. Oh, dear, who's this funny looking man with
the walrus mustache? Mcggie?
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Oh, that's my grainuncle Roscoe. We were pretty proud of
Uncle Roscoe. He was the first white child in the
county to be blackballed by the elks.
Speaker 8 (13:09):
Ah.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Here's one of the aunt and an aunt, Carrie. They
both had big family.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Now how many kids they have? Anyway?
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Ten between them? Add six and carry four? McGee? Now
what are you going?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well, hello there, folks, I'm just going by, and I thought, well,
what goes on here? Have you been buying out an
antique store?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
Harlow?
Speaker 5 (13:30):
This is just a lot of stuff McGee's been hoarding
in the closet. Mister Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Isn't it wonderful how much you can pack into so
little space? For instance, you only give me about six
lines to tell how Johnson's glow Coat saves hours of
house cleaning because it beautifies and protects linoleum with absolutely
no rubbing.
Speaker 6 (13:45):
A buffet wonderful.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Put in those six lines, I think I can get
the idea costs pretty well, that a self polishing preparation
like glow coat is the very essence of good housekeeping.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Boy, it's so easy to use it.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
It's easy to tell about eating marvelous folks. That guy
has dedicated his whole life to Johnson's glow case.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What do you mean orlow?
Speaker 6 (14:04):
They tell me the way back when you were in college,
they wanted you to stroke the crew and you said no,
no stroking, no rubbing, and no buffy, even for dear
old University of Southeastern Nebraska.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Is that true?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Oh No, I wasn't a crew man.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
I went out for rotc oh Reserve Officers training.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Car No revolutionizing, old time cleaning.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
Well, solong fall, Now he got.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
You there, McGee.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
Yep, As the golf ball says, when I've landed five
feet from the tee, I think I've been topped. Well,
let's get busy, Molly and put this stuff back into
the buzz.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
You mean you're going to keep all this junk? Can't
we throw any bit out?
Speaker 6 (14:49):
No, sir, I got a use for every one of
these things.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
Now you don't need this to you. What good is
one snowshoe?
Speaker 6 (14:55):
One?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
What snowshoe?
Speaker 6 (14:57):
Is that a snowshoe? It's no wonder. Billy Mills beat
me so bad playing tennis. Oh, now, come in, I
assist coming. Oh hey, Molly, Look it's Gracie Allen.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
Well, hello, Gracie. Won't you come in? Oh no, thank you, Molly.
And I wouldn't adopt in if i'd known you were entertaining.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Oh we ain't entertaining.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Oh you are too, I think you're very entertaining. Now
you say something, I start judging me. Oh yeah, well
I heard Gracie that the difference between our shows is
that yours is always in the middle of the week
and ours is always weak in the middle.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Gracie, what's this I hear about you running for president
of the United States?
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Oh, there's nothing to it. Oh you mean you're not
running for president? Huh? Oh I mean I'll be elected.
There's nothing to it.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
Oh yeah, well, I ain't want to indulge in no
idle gossip, Gracie. But I have heard whispers about doing
in Hull and Garner and taff being in the White
House next year. But I suppose they're just rumors.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
They are not. I'll be running the White House and
I'm not gonna take in any rumors. What's your party, Gracy? Oh,
well it's my own party, the surprise Party. What an
adorable name. Oh I'm still the haad. You like it? Well,
you can count on our voats, Gracy. I always said
there should be a woman in the fight house.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
How about missus Roosevelt.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
She's never in the fight house? Noie? Do you play bridge?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
No?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
I don't. Oh that's too bad. I'm cambing my cabinet
ninety seven more bridge players.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
How big a cabinet.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
You're gonna have just two tables?
Speaker 6 (16:46):
You need a good pool player?
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Well, no, I'm having the pool table taken out. The
eight ball gets in front of too many people. By
the way, Gracie, when do you expect to move into
the White House? January? Prize?
Speaker 6 (16:58):
January?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Pardon?
Speaker 6 (16:59):
You ain't want to be inaugurated on New Year's Eve?
Are you?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Well? I may not be an ugray, but I'll be
feeling pretty good. Well, I guess I'll be running along now.
Speaker 6 (17:12):
I'm glad to drop in, Gracie. Do you think you
can handle your campaign?
Speaker 5 (17:15):
All right?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:15):
Yes, I can handle my campaign. No, the bubbles as
kick on my nose a little bad. Well, thank you,
and don't forget my slog and stay still like house
with Stacy Kingsman sing combosalem KBOs.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Of the uh.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
In ancient days there lived a turk ahord beast within
the east who did the prophets holy work as Baba
of Jerusalem.
Speaker 9 (17:52):
He had for Sweden's tirclemaid with blaming hand, and all
the barber like a Turk except for name.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
Kaboosluse alm Ah, Kapoos the lung Caapoos the lum, the
daughter of the bab Baba Baba.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Some zoom zoom, so soon, so soon a boy resided
near to see.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
His name was Sam, the perfect Lamb.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
He was of ancient pedigree and capable mathous the lamb.
Speaker 8 (18:17):
He drove the train and prospered well, and gone in
saxon Johnson's wax and ringing at the.
Speaker 6 (18:21):
Barber's vamb he met, he loved, he would quan kaboos Alum,
the daughter of the brother of Jerusalem oh jruzalem Ah
Caboos Alum. The lavas were discovered by.
Speaker 10 (18:33):
The barber, the barber the bar Soon Zozo.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
So so the Baba went beside himself or got his parents,
and rushed upstairs and took up boost me from himself,
and came back to Bamboos all the.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Youth that maiden.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
Then he took and choked them both and nothing altogether,
and pitched them in the brunck of Kindren near Jerusalem.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
A Cushoos the daughter of the barber Baba the barber
sum Zo Zumzon.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
And saw the ancient.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
Legend post when they has gone from bab long with
the eastern more light crows in shadows round ju salon.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
The way in at the cats.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
The sun there falls.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
On the ruined, the walls and gorse of Sam in
three old hats.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
He seemed to kiss Kaboos.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
Alamkusulam al Kamusa, Paul Kamus.
Speaker 4 (19:43):
And akapums elect the.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
Daughter of the barber all kaboos elect Hokuskapus.
Speaker 6 (19:50):
Eleve, the daughter of the barber sums.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Sum sum su.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
McGhee. I've about exhausted my impatience with you. Why packing
all these useless junk back in that closet? How about
these old books?
Speaker 4 (20:18):
What old?
Speaker 6 (20:18):
Well, let's see him. Oh then well that's my correspondence
course in taxidermy.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Taxidermy? Why on earth did you want to study taxis?
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Well?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
How did I know?
Speaker 6 (20:28):
It meant stuffing birds and animals? And there I was
stuck with the chauffeur's license, a city map, and a
pair of putties.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Well, hurry up and put your playthings back in the Closetay,
it looks terrible laying round here.
Speaker 6 (20:41):
On the floor with it. I'll get it. Hell no,
this is the McGhee residence. You got the wrong number?
Oh is that you?
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Mert egad every week the same thing. Apologies to Skinny Nis.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
How's every little thing?
Speaker 8 (20:57):
Mert?
Speaker 6 (20:57):
What's eh? Your uncle Gulliver? Oh that's too bad. And
they ain't found the body yet.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Oh, heavenly days, mcgeez. What happened?
Speaker 6 (21:05):
MERT's uncle drove his car off the cliff and had
to walk home. They found the chassis up in the tree,
but they don't know where the body is. What's e Murt?
Oh that's okay, Murt. Everybody has the wrong number now
and then except Irving Berlin. Well let's see it. McGhee.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Why are you saving this long stick of bamboo?
Speaker 6 (21:25):
Why, Molly, that's that's got a very definite purpose. If
I was offered a job as sparring partner for Joe Lewis,
that's the ten foot pole, I wouldn't touch it with.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
See I got a r oh for goodness sakes, come in.
Oh how do you do? Missus Uppington's so nice to
see you and mister mcg hi.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
Good himvens what at home?
Speaker 11 (21:51):
Maggott looks as if they'd been an explosion in here.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
And just some things that fell out of the closet.
Missus Uppington McGee had everything in there but the kitchen
singh really everything that the kitchen single way is not amusing.
Speaker 11 (22:04):
But what I came in for, missus McGee, was to
tell you about the symphony concert I've been planning with
my troo Mills.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Oh, yes, the symphony concert. Well, it's about time something
was happening about that, Missus Elpington.
Speaker 6 (22:14):
I've been waiting so long for that concert, Uppy. I'm
I'm even getting suspicious of Billy Mills. I'm afraid he's
a non conductor.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Well, we must be patient, you know. There's been so
many difficulties.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
But one thing we're having trouble with the facilities at
the Eagles Hall.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
What's wrong, missus Lpington. Oh it's the eagles, my idea. Eagles.
Speaker 11 (22:35):
Yes, they're all roosting up in the rafts and during
rehearsals they drop eggs on the orchestra.
Speaker 6 (22:43):
You want to call them down and give them seats
in the first row. Uppy them birds are critics, Yes,
indeed they're starting.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
A whole not please, miss McGee. It's discouraging enough as
it is.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I heard they had a kind of an accident during
rehearsal the other night.
Speaker 11 (22:56):
Oh yes, and it was so embarrassing. Yes, musician playing
the electric guitar reached for a high note and blew
every fuse in the building.
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Oh bye, But those dear, dear boys been tried.
Speaker 11 (23:08):
I'm playing just as if nothing had happened.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Really, missus Uppington. But how could they read their music
in the.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Dark, my dear.
Speaker 11 (23:15):
That's exactly what I asked doctor Mills, and he said,
in his most delightful manner. Don't worry about it, babe.
Those mugs can't even read music with.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
The lights on.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Oh really, I thought that was just too gay, I
being a silly girl.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
Why I must be going goodbye goodbye?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Isn't she ridiculous? McGee? All the time she's back in
that symphony orchestra, she's dreaming about Billy me.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Well, that's always been a pretty romantic spot down by
the old mills dream. Don't you get it? Money? I said,
down my funny macgie was Fanny?
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Where was I?
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Do you really think you can get all this stuff
back in that? Plus?
Speaker 6 (24:06):
Why sure I can. And I don't want anybody touching
these things either, but me, they're too valuable. I'd have
had it done an hour ago if I hadn't been
interfered with.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
All right, you do it. Then, I've got some work
to do in the kitchen.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
All right, I'll get it dead grated. I wish somebody'd
crawl in through the window, just for the novely of it,
come in.
Speaker 7 (24:24):
All yeah, I just thought i'd come by and tell
you that. Well, my goodness, what's all this?
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Oh, just something out of my closet. I'm straightening it out. Hey, Guildersleeve,
put that hatchet down.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
I'll do no such thing. That's my boy scout hatchet
you barred last summer, that grattit.
Speaker 6 (24:41):
It ain't nothing of the kind. That's my boy scout hatchet.
Look at the insignia on the handle there, Owl Patrol.
Well I belonged to the Owl Patrol myself. Oh yeah,
you and the owl Patrol. Why you don't even know
the password of the owl patrol? Wo oh, somebody must
have told you. Listen here, Gildersleeve. I'll bet you don't
(25:08):
know a thing about Scott.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I do too.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
I was an eagle scout with twenty six merit badges.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I'll go on.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Can you tie a sheepshank? Can you imitate the mating
cry of the chimney swallow? Can you tell which way
is north when you're lost in the wood?
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Certainly?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Ah, I face south and then turn around quick, Gildersleeve.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
If you're really a scout, you can do your daily
good turn by scramming out of here and letting me
finish putting this stuff back in the closet.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Well, all right, McGee, you're sure that is my hatchet.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
On my word of honor as a member of the
All Patrol.
Speaker 7 (25:38):
Gildersleeve, Well, all right, McGee. I'll see you later, okay,
say uh, give me the password again, will you?
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Who?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Who?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Oh boy Scott, that guy couldn't build a fire and
a hay I rubbing two sticks of dynamite together. Oh well,
I gotta get the rest. It's like about all of it. Yep,
it's all packed back in the boy what job? Hey, Molly, Molly, Look,
I got all that stuff back in the closet, all
straightened out.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Splendid me splendid.
Speaker 6 (26:17):
And after this one you want something out of there,
let me get it for you.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
All right. But now that you got the dictionary out
of there, why don't you leave it out? We may
need it again. What's the matter?
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I forgot to leave it out. I packed the dictionary
back in there. Oh heavenly day, hey, And now you
stay away from there. I know exactly where I put it.
I can hit it out with.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
Molly.
Speaker 6 (26:52):
Yes, I found the dictionary. How do you spell an
anhiliated rib?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And Molly will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
The meantime, I'd like to read you a brief letter
received recently from a gentleman in New York State. For
the past fifteen years, he writes, I have installed many
linoleum floors. As I am a linoleum layer, most every time,
upon completion of an installation, I am asked this question,
how can I preserve or improve the finish? Since glowcoat
has been on the market, I have used it with
perfect satisfaction, so I always answer, use Johnson's Glowcoat and
(27:30):
no other. Well, now, coming from a man who knows
his linoleum, that is a pretty sound recommendation. Glow coat
does preserve and improve linoleum, whether it's new or old.
It makes linoleum last longer, makes it easy to keep clean,
brings out the colors. And remember there's no rubbing or
buffing with glow coat because it's self polishing. You simply
(27:50):
apply and let dry. In twenty minutes your floor is
sparkling with new beauty. Try Johnson's self Polishing glow Coat
on your floors order and tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
I'll look wiggy that junk of yours is positively not
going back into that class.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Oh yes it is.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
Oh no, it is.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
O Hey wait a minute, wrong routine.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Well all right then, but if it does go back
in there, I'll arrange it myself. Now, you keep your
hands off at this.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
Time you're gonna do it all by yourself. I am fine,
as the fat lady says when she took off her corset.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
That lets me out, niggee.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
This is Harlow Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Speaking for the makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's self
polishing glow Cote, inviting you to be with us again
next Tuesday night.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Good night.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
This is a nice little blove justin couple off
The Johnson Wax Program with Fiber McGhee and Molly, The
makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's Self Polishing Blowcoaches present
Marion and Jim Jordan as Fiber McGee and Molly, with
Bill Thompson, the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
The show opens with Shine and.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Once again it's Fibber McGhee and Molly times Fiber McGhee
and Molly. The dramatic story of a woman with her
faith in a man and a man.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
With his faith in a newspaper.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Will something exciting, unusual or momentous take place in the
Little Frame House at seventy nine Wistful Vista tonight? Or
is that expecting too much?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I guess it's expecting too much.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Anyway, here they are web McKee and Molly.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Anything interesting in the paper, deary well.
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Here's an interesting article on crop circless ma. You don't say, now,
take corn for instance.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Certainly we can take it and we can dish it out.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
Hey, I'm serious. This writer says that if conditions keep up,
the small farmer will be completely anhiliated. Hey, what's anahiliated?
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Anhiliated? Why that means well when a farmer. Well, now,
for instance, where's the dictionary. It's probably in the closet
with the rest of your stuff. Give me your key
and I'll get it for it.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
Oh no, you don't. You lay off the stuff in
that closet. I got all my stuff arranged in there,
just the way I want it.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Now, don't be silly. Give me the key. Okay.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
I let's see which one of these.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Is the most heavenly days. Why do you carry all
those keys? Does it make you feel important or something?
Speaker 6 (03:21):
What do you mean important? Every one of them keys
is necessary.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
What's that little key there for?
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Oh, that's a padlock key?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
What padlock for?
Speaker 6 (03:30):
The for the backyard gate we used to have in Peoria?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
What are you keeping that for? Are you homesick? No?
Speaker 6 (03:40):
But if we ever moved back to Peory, I try
to rent the same house because this key fits the
padlock there. You gotta think ahead in these things. And
you see this key here.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Looks like the key to a can of salmon.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
No, sorry, EANs, I use that to clean my pipe
with I see. Now, let's see which one of these
keys is the closet door keys?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
See?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yeah, maybe we better see the closet is locked. Let
me take it.
Speaker 6 (04:01):
Oh it's locked, all right. You don't think i'd leave
all my personal defects laying around for any prowler to
get his hands on.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
McGhee, It isn't locked an hour? Oh tempt McGee. I'm
buried alive. Get this junk off of me, all right?
Speaker 6 (04:29):
But Dad, radit, you might have been more car camp.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
There's funny little insects all over me. Brush them off.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Oh, calm yourself, calm yourself. Them are my trop flies.
Oh gun it, Molly, why did you have to go
and mess up?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:42):
Dear, come in remember McGee and Molly, Yes, tell me.
Speaker 7 (04:47):
With all these radio shows being changed, is it true
that you're gonna cut your program.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
Down to a half hour? What do you mean cut
it down? It's only a half hour now, what? Boy?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
It sure seems like an hour.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Well, as the guy says, when he fell off of
the horse and heard something bust that sounded to me
like a rib.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
I never mind that now, h dear, old dear, look
at all this junk that fell out of that closet.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
Don't worry. I'll put it back.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Molly, Oh no, you won't.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
Huh.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We're going to go through that pile of hot nuts
and throw everything out we don't need.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Oh yeah, well, I've been through this stuff one hundred
times and there ain't a thing of it that I
can spare.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Oh, there isn't no what's this old rusty horse shoe for?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Well? I found that in nineteen eleven. As soon as
I bind three more, we can pitch horse shoes in
the backyard.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I see you expect to bind three more. Beta. You
don't think the automobile is here to stay?
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Eh, won't be if we don't catch up with the payments,
kind misty, Oh, hello there, little girl. What you want?
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Remember that job? You promised me to take care of
your baby, only you didn't have one. So I was
gonna bring my little brother over and take care of him.
Remember who do you whom? Yes? Yes, sure, Well, well
the deal is off.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
See what you mean? The deal is off. In the
first place, there wasn't any deal, And in the second,
my mommy.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Had to take my little brother to the doctor today,
so I can't bring him over.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Oh that's too bad. What's the matter with your little brother?
Anything serious?
Speaker 5 (06:29):
My mamma thinks, So she thinks, so she thinks, so
I had to clam my throat. She thinks he swallowed
a dime.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Swallow the dime. We'll say that is serious. Oh no,
it isn't oyous. It is No, it isn't ohious.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
It is he didn't swallow dime. I bet you, huh
it was only eight cents.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Only eight cents. How do you know?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Were we were playing slop machine and I fed him
to him. What you're doing mischief?
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Well, we're cleaning out this closet. If you must know,
I mustn't, mustn't what? No, no, yeah, what? Oh? Listen
to suppose you've gone home and annoy somebody else. Go
bother your daddy.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
He isn't home. He's working on the senseless on the
wy the senseless. He goes to people's doors and asks
him how many people in the family, and how old
are you? And all stuff like that. There.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
I bet you, oh, you mean the senses, Jux. I
didn't even think of kids your age knew what a
census was.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Well I do, I bet you, yeah, A census is
information plays on the red, white, and Blue network.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
While we're waiting for fiber and malay to return. I'd
like your attention for just a minute. If you have
valuable jewels, you protect them by keeping them and your
safe or in a secret compartment. Valuable papers you keep
in a strong box or vault. How can you protect
your valuable furniture, floors, and woodwork by locking them under
(08:42):
a safe, protective shield of genuine Johnson's wax. That may
seem like a strong statement, but it's really true. When
you apply a coat of Johnson's wax, you are completely
covering the surface with an invisible yet.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Very tough shield of real wax.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
This wax guards the floors and furniture surfaces against wear
and against dirt and moisture. From time to time, you
renew the coating of Johnson's wax, and your floors and
furniture are given permanent protection. What is equally important they
have that rich wax polished glow that good housekeepers cherish.
If your home is not wax protected and wax beautified,
(09:17):
order genuine Johnson's wax paste or liquid tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Eventy days. Meggie, imagine all this stuff falling out of
one little closet. How'd you ever get it all in there?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I don't know, I guess I just inherit a gift
for packing. My great aunt Minnie had a job stuff
and pimentos into olives. Oh hey, look at this, Molly,
the tabarette I made in manual training.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Yeah, didn't you ever finish anything? It's only got three legs.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
They wouldn't let me stay in the fifth grade another year.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Ah McGhee. Look one of our old dance programs before
we were married. I didn't know you were so sentimental, Dartie.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Is that a dance program? I was saving it on
account of that little pencil hanging on to it. You
never know when you'll need a pencil.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Listen to this Wallts Walts, Turkey Trot Walts, Bunny Hug Walls,
Texas Tommy Walls. What no Grizzly bear waltz? You had
every dance with me but the last Walls Leggee, who
did you dance that one? Well?
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Why nobody? We sat that one out in the buggy.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Remember, Oh yeah, and we couldn't go back to the dance.
It's because you said on a box of Lowney's chocolate
covered cherries and spoils your white pets.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
That was the night that took the tea. Come in.
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Oh hold Jay, hol dy say, I'm looking for a
nice room in the neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Got wonder red. No, I don't believe so, Miss Grolteimer.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
Oh come on, kids, I'll pay three bucks a week
with meals, or two bucks a week and eat out
for tune and a half if you leave me see
the funny paper first on Sundays.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Nothing doing, old timer. We ain't taking borders.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Hey, absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (11:39):
The last border we had was a tap dancer kept
me awake all morning. I finally got tired of it,
knocked him cold with one of his steel plated chees
and stumped it into his own trunk.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Hey. Incidentally, McGhee, where did you ship that trunk.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
Off to Buffalo? Wow?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
That's pretty good, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
But that ain't the way I hear it.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
I hear it. One fella's had Tillerfeller say, he said,
I see where.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
Scarlet and Hara got the Academy award. Yep, says Tilerfealler.
She lost out with rep but she sure got her oscar. Well,
I'm tiry, you ain't got a room for me. Slapped
in the park all last summer and didn't like it.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
The roof leet' trong here.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
I'm getting a little tired of all them gone with
the wind gags. I don't know how a picture about
the bluegrass country could produce so many bomb plugs.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
I'll never mind that. McGee. Isn't there any of this
junk we can throw away? Now?
Speaker 6 (12:49):
Well, let me see him. How about this old photograph
album here?
Speaker 5 (12:52):
I should say not, that's got all our family pictures
in it. Oh, dear, who's this funny looking man with
the walrus mustache? Mcggie?
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Oh, that's my grainuncle Roscoe. We were pretty proud of
Uncle Roscoe. He was the first white child in the
county to be blackballed by the elks.
Speaker 8 (13:09):
Ah.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Here's one of the aunt and an aunt, Carrie. They
both had big family.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Now how many kids they have? Anyway?
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Ten between them? Add six and carry four? McGee? Now
what are you going?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well, hello there, folks, I'm just going by, and I thought, well,
what goes on here? Have you been buying out an
antique store?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
Harlow?
Speaker 5 (13:30):
This is just a lot of stuff McGee's been hoarding
in the closet. Mister Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Isn't it wonderful how much you can pack into so
little space? For instance, you only give me about six
lines to tell how Johnson's glow Coat saves hours of
house cleaning because it beautifies and protects linoleum with absolutely
no rubbing.
Speaker 6 (13:45):
A buffet wonderful.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Put in those six lines, I think I can get
the idea costs pretty well, that a self polishing preparation
like glow coat is the very essence of good housekeeping.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Boy, it's so easy to use it.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
It's easy to tell about eating marvelous folks. That guy
has dedicated his whole life to Johnson's glow case.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What do you mean orlow?
Speaker 6 (14:04):
They tell me the way back when you were in college,
they wanted you to stroke the crew and you said no,
no stroking, no rubbing, and no buffy, even for dear
old University of Southeastern Nebraska.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Is that true?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Oh No, I wasn't a crew man.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
I went out for rotc oh Reserve Officers training.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Car No revolutionizing, old time cleaning.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
Well, solong fall, Now he got.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
You there, McGee.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
Yep, As the golf ball says, when I've landed five
feet from the tee, I think I've been topped. Well,
let's get busy, Molly and put this stuff back into
the buzz.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
You mean you're going to keep all this junk? Can't
we throw any bit out?
Speaker 6 (14:49):
No, sir, I got a use for every one of
these things.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
Now you don't need this to you. What good is
one snowshoe?
Speaker 6 (14:55):
One?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
What snowshoe?
Speaker 6 (14:57):
Is that a snowshoe? It's no wonder. Billy Mills beat
me so bad playing tennis. Oh, now, come in, I
assist coming. Oh hey, Molly, Look it's Gracie Allen.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
Well, hello, Gracie. Won't you come in? Oh no, thank you, Molly.
And I wouldn't adopt in if i'd known you were entertaining.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Oh we ain't entertaining.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Oh you are too, I think you're very entertaining. Now
you say something, I start judging me. Oh yeah, well
I heard Gracie that the difference between our shows is
that yours is always in the middle of the week
and ours is always weak in the middle.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Gracie, what's this I hear about you running for president
of the United States?
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Oh, there's nothing to it. Oh you mean you're not
running for president? Huh? Oh I mean I'll be elected.
There's nothing to it.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
Oh yeah, well, I ain't want to indulge in no
idle gossip, Gracie. But I have heard whispers about doing
in Hull and Garner and taff being in the White
House next year. But I suppose they're just rumors.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
They are not. I'll be running the White House and
I'm not gonna take in any rumors. What's your party, Gracy? Oh,
well it's my own party, the surprise Party. What an
adorable name. Oh I'm still the haad. You like it? Well,
you can count on our voats, Gracy. I always said
there should be a woman in the fight house.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
How about missus Roosevelt.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
She's never in the fight house? Noie? Do you play bridge?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
No?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
I don't. Oh that's too bad. I'm cambing my cabinet
ninety seven more bridge players.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
How big a cabinet.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
You're gonna have just two tables?
Speaker 6 (16:46):
You need a good pool player?
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Well, no, I'm having the pool table taken out. The
eight ball gets in front of too many people. By
the way, Gracie, when do you expect to move into
the White House? January? Prize?
Speaker 6 (16:58):
January?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Pardon?
Speaker 6 (16:59):
You ain't want to be inaugurated on New Year's Eve?
Are you?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Well? I may not be an ugray, but I'll be
feeling pretty good. Well, I guess I'll be running along now.
Speaker 6 (17:12):
I'm glad to drop in, Gracie. Do you think you
can handle your campaign?
Speaker 5 (17:15):
All right?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:15):
Yes, I can handle my campaign. No, the bubbles as
kick on my nose a little bad. Well, thank you,
and don't forget my slog and stay still like house
with Stacy Kingsman sing combosalem KBOs.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Of the uh.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
In ancient days there lived a turk ahord beast within
the east who did the prophets holy work as Baba
of Jerusalem.
Speaker 9 (17:52):
He had for Sweden's tirclemaid with blaming hand, and all
the barber like a Turk except for name.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
Kaboosluse alm Ah, Kapoos the lung Caapoos the lum, the
daughter of the bab Baba Baba.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Some zoom zoom, so soon, so soon a boy resided
near to see.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
His name was Sam, the perfect Lamb.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
He was of ancient pedigree and capable mathous the lamb.
Speaker 8 (18:17):
He drove the train and prospered well, and gone in
saxon Johnson's wax and ringing at the.
Speaker 6 (18:21):
Barber's vamb he met, he loved, he would quan kaboos Alum,
the daughter of the brother of Jerusalem oh jruzalem Ah
Caboos Alum. The lavas were discovered by.
Speaker 10 (18:33):
The barber, the barber the bar Soon Zozo.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
So so the Baba went beside himself or got his parents,
and rushed upstairs and took up boost me from himself,
and came back to Bamboos all the.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Youth that maiden.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
Then he took and choked them both and nothing altogether,
and pitched them in the brunck of Kindren near Jerusalem.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
A Cushoos the daughter of the barber Baba the barber
sum Zo Zumzon.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
And saw the ancient.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
Legend post when they has gone from bab long with
the eastern more light crows in shadows round ju salon.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
The way in at the cats.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
The sun there falls.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
On the ruined, the walls and gorse of Sam in
three old hats.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
He seemed to kiss Kaboos.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
Alamkusulam al Kamusa, Paul Kamus.
Speaker 4 (19:43):
And akapums elect the.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
Daughter of the barber all kaboos elect Hokuskapus.
Speaker 6 (19:50):
Eleve, the daughter of the barber sums.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Sum sum su.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
McGhee. I've about exhausted my impatience with you. Why packing
all these useless junk back in that closet? How about
these old books?
Speaker 4 (20:18):
What old?
Speaker 6 (20:18):
Well, let's see him. Oh then well that's my correspondence
course in taxidermy.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Taxidermy? Why on earth did you want to study taxis?
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Well?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
How did I know?
Speaker 6 (20:28):
It meant stuffing birds and animals? And there I was
stuck with the chauffeur's license, a city map, and a
pair of putties.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Well, hurry up and put your playthings back in the Closetay,
it looks terrible laying round here.
Speaker 6 (20:41):
On the floor with it. I'll get it. Hell no,
this is the McGhee residence. You got the wrong number?
Oh is that you?
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Mert egad every week the same thing. Apologies to Skinny Nis.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
How's every little thing?
Speaker 8 (20:57):
Mert?
Speaker 6 (20:57):
What's eh? Your uncle Gulliver? Oh that's too bad. And
they ain't found the body yet.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Oh, heavenly days, mcgeez. What happened?
Speaker 6 (21:05):
MERT's uncle drove his car off the cliff and had
to walk home. They found the chassis up in the tree,
but they don't know where the body is. What's e Murt?
Oh that's okay, Murt. Everybody has the wrong number now
and then except Irving Berlin. Well let's see it. McGhee.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Why are you saving this long stick of bamboo?
Speaker 6 (21:25):
Why, Molly, that's that's got a very definite purpose. If
I was offered a job as sparring partner for Joe Lewis,
that's the ten foot pole, I wouldn't touch it with.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
See I got a r oh for goodness sakes, come in.
Oh how do you do? Missus Uppington's so nice to
see you and mister mcg hi.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
Good himvens what at home?
Speaker 11 (21:51):
Maggott looks as if they'd been an explosion in here.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
And just some things that fell out of the closet.
Missus Uppington McGee had everything in there but the kitchen
singh really everything that the kitchen single way is not amusing.
Speaker 11 (22:04):
But what I came in for, missus McGee, was to
tell you about the symphony concert I've been planning with
my troo Mills.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Oh, yes, the symphony concert. Well, it's about time something
was happening about that, Missus Elpington.
Speaker 6 (22:14):
I've been waiting so long for that concert, Uppy. I'm
I'm even getting suspicious of Billy Mills. I'm afraid he's
a non conductor.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Well, we must be patient, you know. There's been so
many difficulties.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
But one thing we're having trouble with the facilities at
the Eagles Hall.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
What's wrong, missus Lpington. Oh it's the eagles, my idea. Eagles.
Speaker 11 (22:35):
Yes, they're all roosting up in the rafts and during
rehearsals they drop eggs on the orchestra.
Speaker 6 (22:43):
You want to call them down and give them seats
in the first row. Uppy them birds are critics, Yes,
indeed they're starting.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
A whole not please, miss McGee. It's discouraging enough as
it is.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I heard they had a kind of an accident during
rehearsal the other night.
Speaker 11 (22:56):
Oh yes, and it was so embarrassing. Yes, musician playing
the electric guitar reached for a high note and blew
every fuse in the building.
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Oh bye, But those dear, dear boys been tried.
Speaker 11 (23:08):
I'm playing just as if nothing had happened.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Really, missus Uppington. But how could they read their music
in the.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Dark, my dear.
Speaker 11 (23:15):
That's exactly what I asked doctor Mills, and he said,
in his most delightful manner. Don't worry about it, babe.
Those mugs can't even read music with.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
The lights on.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Oh really, I thought that was just too gay, I
being a silly girl.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
Why I must be going goodbye goodbye?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Isn't she ridiculous? McGee? All the time she's back in
that symphony orchestra, she's dreaming about Billy me.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Well, that's always been a pretty romantic spot down by
the old mills dream. Don't you get it? Money? I said,
down my funny macgie was Fanny?
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Where was I?
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Do you really think you can get all this stuff
back in that? Plus?
Speaker 6 (24:06):
Why sure I can. And I don't want anybody touching
these things either, but me, they're too valuable. I'd have
had it done an hour ago if I hadn't been
interfered with.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
All right, you do it. Then, I've got some work
to do in the kitchen.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
All right, I'll get it dead grated. I wish somebody'd
crawl in through the window, just for the novely of it,
come in.
Speaker 7 (24:24):
All yeah, I just thought i'd come by and tell
you that. Well, my goodness, what's all this?
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Oh, just something out of my closet. I'm straightening it out. Hey, Guildersleeve,
put that hatchet down.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
I'll do no such thing. That's my boy scout hatchet
you barred last summer, that grattit.
Speaker 6 (24:41):
It ain't nothing of the kind. That's my boy scout hatchet.
Look at the insignia on the handle there, Owl Patrol.
Well I belonged to the Owl Patrol myself. Oh yeah,
you and the owl Patrol. Why you don't even know
the password of the owl patrol? Wo oh, somebody must
have told you. Listen here, Gildersleeve. I'll bet you don't
(25:08):
know a thing about Scott.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I do too.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
I was an eagle scout with twenty six merit badges.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I'll go on.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Can you tie a sheepshank? Can you imitate the mating
cry of the chimney swallow? Can you tell which way
is north when you're lost in the wood?
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Certainly?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Ah, I face south and then turn around quick, Gildersleeve.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
If you're really a scout, you can do your daily
good turn by scramming out of here and letting me
finish putting this stuff back in the closet.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Well, all right, McGee, you're sure that is my hatchet.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
On my word of honor as a member of the
All Patrol.
Speaker 7 (25:38):
Gildersleeve, Well, all right, McGee. I'll see you later, okay,
say uh, give me the password again, will you?
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Who?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Who?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Oh boy Scott, that guy couldn't build a fire and
a hay I rubbing two sticks of dynamite together. Oh well,
I gotta get the rest. It's like about all of it. Yep,
it's all packed back in the boy what job? Hey, Molly, Molly, Look,
I got all that stuff back in the closet, all
straightened out.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Splendid me splendid.
Speaker 6 (26:17):
And after this one you want something out of there,
let me get it for you.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
All right. But now that you got the dictionary out
of there, why don't you leave it out? We may
need it again. What's the matter?
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I forgot to leave it out. I packed the dictionary
back in there. Oh heavenly day, hey, And now you
stay away from there. I know exactly where I put it.
I can hit it out with.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
Molly.
Speaker 6 (26:52):
Yes, I found the dictionary. How do you spell an
anhiliated rib?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And Molly will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
The meantime, I'd like to read you a brief letter
received recently from a gentleman in New York State. For
the past fifteen years, he writes, I have installed many
linoleum floors. As I am a linoleum layer, most every time,
upon completion of an installation, I am asked this question,
how can I preserve or improve the finish? Since glowcoat
has been on the market, I have used it with
perfect satisfaction, so I always answer, use Johnson's Glowcoat and
(27:30):
no other. Well, now, coming from a man who knows
his linoleum, that is a pretty sound recommendation. Glow coat
does preserve and improve linoleum, whether it's new or old.
It makes linoleum last longer, makes it easy to keep clean,
brings out the colors. And remember there's no rubbing or
buffing with glow coat because it's self polishing. You simply
(27:50):
apply and let dry. In twenty minutes your floor is
sparkling with new beauty. Try Johnson's self Polishing glow Coat
on your floors order and tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
I'll look wiggy that junk of yours is positively not
going back into that class.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Oh yes it is.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
Oh no, it is.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
O Hey wait a minute, wrong routine.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Well all right then, but if it does go back
in there, I'll arrange it myself. Now, you keep your
hands off at this.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
Time you're gonna do it all by yourself. I am fine,
as the fat lady says when she took off her corset.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
That lets me out, niggee.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
This is Harlow Wilcox.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Speaking for the makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's self
polishing glow Cote, inviting you to be with us again
next Tuesday night.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Good night.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
This is a nice little blove justin couple off
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