All Episodes

July 28, 2025 • 29 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Comedy Radio brings you a lively collection of hilarious segments and jokes that keep the fun going every day.
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Craft presents the Great Gilder Slaves.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Each week at this time presents from Hollywood, California, Harold
Perry as the Great Yolder Sleeve written by Leonardale Elevens.
We'll hear from the Great Yilder Sleeve in just a moment,
but first I want to remind you that these are
challenging days for every one of us. It's our duty

(00:39):
to produce more to help meet our countries increasing needs,
and that takes plenty of good food. As you wise
homemakers know wholesome, nutritious food that provides the energy and
nourishment your hard working, hard playing family needs. That's why
you should know about Park marginen made by Craft. Park
Margin is a delicious food that's packed full of wholesome nourishment.

(01:01):
It's one of the best sources of food energy you
can serve and important to you housewives who know how
essential vitamins are. Every pound of Park margarine contains nine
thousand units of vitamin A, making it a reliable year
round source for your whole family. What's more, Park is
the margarine with the delicious flavor, whether you use it
at the table for baking or for pan frying. So

(01:23):
why not give your family the benefit of this grand tasting,
nourishing food. Tomorrow, ask your dealer for a pound or
two of economical park margarine made by Craft. Just ask
for park par Kay. And now let's visit our friend.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
The great Guilder Sleeve. Come on, wake up, judge Hooker.
Pay attention to your checkers.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
It's your move, I know it, Yelloish leave, I'm merely
studying the board.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
What with your eyes closed? Let's feed this up. We
haven't got all night.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Here, all right, there, there, there and there now crown me.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
I'd love to, but I haven't got anything to do
it with, Hooker. I don't see how you keep beating
me honestly. In fact, I don't think you do honestly.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
Yellous leave, you're a pushover.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
You couldn't win a game from a backward baboon with
a dozen checkers up your sleeve.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
I could too, I mean, I wouldn't need a dozen checkers.
I'll show you, Hooker. Set them up again and pull
in your belt, because this time I'm gonna beat the
hell Leroy, how are you deny?

Speaker 5 (02:50):
Hello, Judge Hooker, Leroy?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Can I can you want? Leroy? Well?

Speaker 5 (02:54):
I hate to keep pest from your bard. But can
I see the circus tomorrow afternoon?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Not unless they happen to pitch the tent in the
front yard of Peter B. Flugelhammer Junior High School.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
Is that where you go, Leroy?

Speaker 5 (03:03):
Yeah, Lougie Junior High.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Say, I grew up with Peter B.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Fluglhammer Senior. That's who the junior high school was named after.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
If well, I thought the school was named after Peter B.
Flugelhammer Junior.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Oh, Junior was the son or senior after whom the
junior high school was named. Poor junior, he never could
finish senior high.

Speaker 6 (03:21):
Yo.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
But gee, Uncle Marth, could you call up school and
ask if I could skip tomorrow?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
I did, Leroy. I even went so far as to
predict that you wouldn't be feeling very well tomorrow.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
What did they say?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
They told me that an excuse realness, while the circuses
in town must be accompanied by a note from your doctor.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Shucks, that's a heck of a note.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
If yes, well, there's no use grossing, young man. Remember
school must come first. I'll sit down and get started
with your homework.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Yes, Leroy, your homework, And that's the thing that's going
to count in later life, not going to the circus.

Speaker 5 (03:49):
I don't think so, Judge, because in my later life
I expect to be a lion tamer.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh, you don't.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
Need any education for that. All you need is a
kitchen share on the right kind of breakfast food.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Eh. Well, yes, this lyon teaming is new, though. Last
week you were going to become a pitcher with the
Brooklyn Dodgers.

Speaker 5 (04:06):
Oh that was last week. Oh gee, I wouldn't line
missing the circus so much, Uncle Mort. But I hate
to see those passes go to waste.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
Oh did you get passes, guildless Lee?

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Did I get passes? Yes, sir, I've got certain connections, yeah,
uncle war.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
Just the right number of beans in that jar on
the drug store window.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yes, I connected that time.

Speaker 4 (04:27):
Uncle Mort.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
Are you sure you can't take me?

Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm sorry, Leroy, but you'd better make up your mind
to skip the circus.

Speaker 5 (04:32):
Gee, you guy can't get any fun out of life.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
You know, guiltless leaves.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
Sometimes I think our school system has become too scientific,
too streamlined.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
You're right, Judge. These days everything is streamlined, eh except me.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Yes, things were a lot different in the days when
I went to school. What a memory, I said, I
sat next to pet blue Glamour. That was long before
he was elected Lieutenant governor and then named.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
To school after himself.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Oh, we had none of this modern stuff, like getting
a doctor's prescription to.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Go to the circus.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yes, it was the same in my school days too, Judge.
Of course, I'm not as old as you are.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
What do you mean, yellous sleeve?

Speaker 3 (05:11):
You were shaving when I was a little chamber I
was not.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
You were too all right, all right. I was always
taught not to contradict my elders, come to think of
a judge. We kids used to have a lot more
fun than modern children have. I can still remember some
of the tricks we pulled at school, so do I.
Shenanigans were, yeah, I'll never forget the time I dropped
a paper bag full of water on the Spanish teacher.

(05:36):
Only it turned out to be the new athletic coach,
and when he caught me, boy it was he athletic.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
That's not think.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
I once sneaked up behind Miss Pettibone's desk and catch
your dress to the floor.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Kids don't do a thing like that these days.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
The kids can't do a thing like that these days.
Say it, judge, did you put eggs in the principal's umbrella?

Speaker 4 (06:01):
No? Did you?

Speaker 1 (06:03):
I had my own hand, and I saved eggs for
a rainy day. I can still see him lifting that
umbrella over his head.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Well, I put alum in the water pictured our graduation exercises.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh that's a peachy stunt. What happened?

Speaker 4 (06:17):
I didn't graduate?

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh, yes, youth. Sometimes I wish I were a kid again,
just so I could pull a few more of those cute, little, innocent,
juvenile pranks.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Well, there are a thing of the past. I never
hear of kids doing those things these days. Not enough imagination,
I guess that's right.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
You know, I remember when a dog and pony show
came to our town and all us kids made up
our minds to go. You know how we got the
afternoon all?

Speaker 4 (06:41):
No?

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Wow, Well I climbed up on the schoolhouse roof and
stuffed my coat into the chimney. Boy, I wish you
could have seen that smoke pour in and those kids pour.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
Out guilty, I'll bet you were card.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Oh that wasn't anything. Did I ever tell you about
the time we smuggled the horse up in the bell
tower in college. I borrowed this, Leroy, I didn't know
that you were still here.

Speaker 5 (07:03):
Sure, you told me to do my homework. Say, did
you ever do any homework on commorce?

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Stacks of it? Gee?

Speaker 5 (07:09):
Why didn't you find the time? Didn't it interfere with
your jokes?

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Now?

Speaker 3 (07:13):
See what you've done, Gilders leave, given the boy a
wrong impression of our childhood.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Me you started it attacking teacher's skirts of the floor,
and you were superior card Judge, aren't you ashamed? Well?

Speaker 3 (07:23):
How about you egging the principle on and trying to
brain everybody with bags of water?

Speaker 1 (07:27):
What do you mean everybody? Just our Spanish teacher, Miss Olilson,
that's all now, Leroy. Don't get us wrong, Judge Hooker
and I were merely reminiscing about a neror that doesn't
exist anymore.

Speaker 5 (07:36):
I'll say it doesn't. You couldn't get away with those
corny gags today.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Those gags weren't corny, Leroy. They were mighty clever. Oh yes, yeah,
they were terrible. The big kids made me do them.
I'm ashamed of myself, aren't you, Judge Hooker?

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yes, I was a bad boy.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
You see Leroy, don you too treat me as if
I was twelve years old.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
You are twelve years old, Leroy, Sure I know, but
I don't.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
Like to be treated that way.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
You'll have to hurry, Madrie, if you're going to the
circus with me? What's the rush?

Speaker 5 (08:23):
Uncle Moore?

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well, I'd like to get there on time for once.
No matter when I start, it seems I always arrive
in time to get caught in the opening procession. One
year a hippopotamus chased me around the ring twice. I
never did find my seat.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
It's too bad, Leroy, couldn't get out from school to
come with it.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yes, the poor boy, Well we'll bring him back a
red balloon and a little whip with a tassel. Leroy.

Speaker 5 (08:45):
Gee, I'm glad I caught you before you left with
the circus, Leroy, What are you doing home at this hour?
School was dismissed Just now, come on, let's go to the.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Circuit by the way, Leroy, Why were classes dismissed?

Speaker 5 (08:56):
Well, you might call it an accident. Accident.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
What was the accident?

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (09:01):
Nothing serious?

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Then what was it? Oh?

Speaker 5 (09:03):
It seems they had to get all the students out
quick on account of all the rooms had to be.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Aired out, aired out they did.

Speaker 5 (09:09):
Why Well, nobody knows for sure exactly, but the general
opinion is that somehow other a stunk got into the
air conditioning system.

Speaker 7 (09:19):
Ooh, boy, wasn't that circus?

Speaker 5 (09:39):
Well that's I've ever seen. How did you like the
fellow who did the swan dive into the tank of
burning gasoline? Uncle Moore?

Speaker 1 (09:45):
I liked him, but I don't think Secretary Ikeys would. Leroy.
There's something that's been troubling me. It's that skunk in
your school.

Speaker 5 (09:56):
You mean, mister Proctor or the principal.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
No, Leroy, the one that got into the air conditioning system.
Do you happen to know how it got in there?

Speaker 5 (10:06):
No? I know? Say, remember the tigers rode on the
elephant's back. How did they train him to do that?

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Uncle mort Oh, with kindness, I suppose, Leroy, did you
happen to have anything to do with it?

Speaker 5 (10:15):
For the tiger?

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Uncle Morton? Oh, the skunk.

Speaker 5 (10:17):
There wasn't a skunk. Uncle was a tiger. Tigers and
skunks have different kinds of stripe, I.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Know they have. I'm talking about school.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
So you know, I've been thinking, isn't it a strange
coincidence that this accident occurred on the day that circus
came to Tong.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (10:33):
Funny, isn't it, say, Uncle mart What do you think
would happen if when the lion tamer had his head
in the lion's mouth, the lion suddenly had a sneeze?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well, I don't think anyone would say kazoom tight now, Leroy,
I hope that nothing Judge Hooker and I said about
our school day pranks caused you to try to imitate this.
Oh no, sir, you understand we were just talking about
old times.

Speaker 5 (10:55):
Yes, sir, Like Judge Hooker says, that's about all you
old timers who got left your memory.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, what did you say? Good afternoon, Bertie? Is Leroy
home from school? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (11:16):
Well, let me look in the refrigerator.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
I know, sir. Did you expect to find him in there?

Speaker 7 (11:23):
No, but I can tell him he's here.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Boy, what ain't Well, maybe he wasn't hungry this afternoon.

Speaker 8 (11:30):
That boy, why he's nothing but appetite.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Hell together a boy, skin.

Speaker 4 (11:33):
And bones of what's the matter.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Well, there's a lot of strange things going on at
LeRoy's school, and I'm afraid that maybe I'm partly to blame.

Speaker 7 (11:40):
How come you messing around the school?

Speaker 5 (11:43):
Is you one of them pants teachers?

Speaker 1 (11:48):
No, it's just the judge. Hooker and I were talking
about some little pranks we used to play when we
were in school, a little harmless things, you know. Ah Uh, Well,
Leroy happened to overhears, and now I'm afraid he showing
us the modern versions with the chromium trimmings.

Speaker 8 (12:03):
Uh huh, what makes you think littly Roy's doing formaddals?

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well, did you read the afternoon paper?

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Nose?

Speaker 8 (12:09):
It never gets to meet till the following morning.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Oh, yes, well I've got it right here. Listen to
this juvenile joker startles. School police were called early today
to investigate a large stout lady's body scene suspended from
the window a principal, Potey Proctor at Fugelhammer Junior High School.
Oh who wasn't miss Procter es No? Listen Closer inspection
revealed that the body was a dummy stuffed with old

(12:33):
football pads, wearing a green and purple silk dress size
forty eight.

Speaker 8 (12:37):
Green and purple silk size forty eight sounds like my
sunday go to meeting dress, the one that was kidnapped
off the coastline last night?

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yes, doesn't it? Well?

Speaker 7 (12:47):
What's my dress doing in the newspaper?

Speaker 1 (12:49):
I don't know, Berdie sty Here comes Lee Roy.

Speaker 7 (12:52):
Do you think he did it?

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Sh Hi? Bertie?

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Say?

Speaker 5 (12:56):
Is this your old dress? That's my new dress, Lee Roy?

Speaker 7 (12:59):
And what you doing with it?

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Why Piggy Banks just gave it to me, he says,
The one must have blown it over into his yard.
He founded under a window?

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Young man? Isn't this the dress that was hanging out
of mister Proctor's window this morning?

Speaker 5 (13:10):
You mean I'm a dummy that was suspended from school?
How could it be? I who belongs to Bertie?

Speaker 1 (13:14):
What do you think? Bertie?

Speaker 7 (13:16):
I ain't saying nothing.

Speaker 8 (13:17):
I'm only too glad to get my dressed back without
paying ransom.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
I'm gonna hide it this time.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
I don't know what to do. Luckily, Roy, don't think
of me just as your uncle and your guardian, think
of me as your pal. Is your buddy. Now, if
there's anything that's troubling your little mind, why don't you
just come right out with it?

Speaker 5 (13:39):
Well, okay, there is something that's been bothering me.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
I understand. Go right ahead, my boy? What is it? Well?

Speaker 5 (13:47):
How did you ever get that horse up into the
bell tower at college?

Speaker 9 (13:51):
Oooh?

Speaker 1 (14:07):
The reason I asked you to come here tonight, Judge Hooker,
is because you and I are turning LeRoy's school topsy turvy.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Why I haven't been near the price.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
We've been doing it by remote control. Remember how we
shot off our mouths in front of Leroy about our
school day? Monkey shines yes.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
And say I just remembered another one.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Forget it, Lee. Roy has been up to all our
old tricks.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Oh, his teachers have caught him.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Man O, That kid's smarter than we were. But we
got to stop him from going on with him.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Well, maybe if I gave him a little lecture, Hooker,
you don't understand children, That wouldn't work at all.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
We've got to pretend we don't know what's going on.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
That shouldn't be hard for you to do.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
When Leroy comes in, that'll be our cue to start
casually chatting about the evils. A practical joke, subtle propaganda,
you know, how about it, Hooker?

Speaker 3 (14:49):
We can try it, too bad, this whole thing had
to happen, you know. Gilders leave it would never have
started if you hadn't opened your.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
Fat face me.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Why it was you that started at you? Little travesty
on justice scarce hat?

Speaker 3 (15:00):
So why gildersleeve if you had the intelligence of a jackass?
But no, why should I daydream?

Speaker 4 (15:12):
There's no use arguing with you?

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Why not?

Speaker 3 (15:15):
Because I don't argue with blubberheads?

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Why do you blubberhead just because you were a judge?
Do you think? No? I can answer that myself. You
don't think?

Speaker 4 (15:24):
Don't you provoke me? You big water wind?

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Oh that settles it. I'm gonna lamb baste you with
excuse me, I don't think. Oh, oh, come right in, Leroy.
I was I was just telling Judge Hooker how to
base the lamb, wasn't i Judge Hooker? Oh yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Don't let us disturb you, Leroy and my boy go
right ahead and do your homework.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Just pay no attention to us.

Speaker 5 (15:48):
I won't.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
As we were saying, Judge, don't you think the juvenile
delinquency often starts with some innocent boys? Frank?

Speaker 4 (15:57):
When were we saying that? Oh? Of course, guiltlessly.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Quite often the young fella starts out for a lark
and winds up in a cage.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
How's that?

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh judge? Then you think that the practical joking can
lead to a serious consequence.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Surely it starts out with a fellow dipping girls pigtails
into ink wells, and Danny becomes bored with that and
puts firecrackers in the coal.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Scuttle yes or water in the teacher's glosses and then
setting them out the freeze.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
Never heard of that one before. That's only good in
real cold weather.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Well, in summertime, you can always put fly paper on
all the chairs.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Yeah, where the words kick me printed on the bag?

Speaker 5 (16:39):
Say?

Speaker 4 (16:40):
I did that when I was in fourth grade. You
should have seen the fun of ress. You know.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
I used to hunt for frogs during recess and put
them all in the lunchboxes. Once I made a mistake
and put one of my own lunchbox.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Did I tell you about the time that I snagged
our principal's wig with a fish pole and hoisted it
to the.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Top of the flag door. Oh boy, I wish I
could have seen. Oh my goodness, what have we been saying?
Huh leroy? Don't you pay any attention to this old Say?
Where is leroy?

Speaker 4 (17:10):
I don't know? You said, pretend he wasn't here, and
by jark he isn't.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yes, and a lucky thing too. How did we ever
get started talking like that again?

Speaker 3 (17:18):
I remember distinctly you began at yellow.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Sleeve me, who are you, feeble? Little funnelhead? And funny
do he smile? And you say that yellows smile? I'll
laugh right out loud.

Speaker 10 (17:42):
Oh, Martorie, Hello, Pierpont, I came to see Meatball.

Speaker 5 (17:45):
Who meet Paul?

Speaker 10 (17:47):
You know Leroy And he don't like us kids to
call Leroy anymore.

Speaker 7 (17:51):
I don't like to be called Pierpont.

Speaker 5 (17:53):
All right, Piggy, come on in, Ollroy, Piggy bangs. It's
right that way.

Speaker 10 (18:02):
Thanks, well, come on in. Don't be bashful. But your uncle,
that's him behind that newspaper, ain't it.

Speaker 5 (18:10):
What's the matter with him?

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Ah?

Speaker 5 (18:16):
Nothing, He always does that after dinner. He's digesting his food.

Speaker 10 (18:26):
Oh, ain't we going to disturb him?

Speaker 5 (18:30):
No, we had roast beef and potatoes for dinner. Number
will bother u for another hour at least. Now let's
get going on that history stuff.

Speaker 11 (18:43):
Well, I know miss Kelly is gonna ask us about
the vice presidents tomorrow.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
He is sure sure.

Speaker 11 (18:48):
I'm sure she's going through the book exactly the way
she did last.

Speaker 10 (18:51):
Year, the first time I took the course.

Speaker 5 (18:55):
Okay, I think I got a memorize. What is she
gonna ask us the names of all the vice present
she did last year?

Speaker 7 (19:02):
I kept the diary, all right?

Speaker 5 (19:04):
Ge what a question to ask? Why do you check
the Listen? See if I get them right? Shoot?

Speaker 9 (19:09):
Uh?

Speaker 5 (19:10):
John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Aaron Burr.

Speaker 11 (19:15):
Aaron Burr, you said that same meat ball? What do
you think of this stuff has been pulled off at
school lately?

Speaker 5 (19:21):
I don't know what do you think of it? Oh?

Speaker 4 (19:23):
I don't know?

Speaker 10 (19:24):
Have any idea who's doing it?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
She?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (19:26):
You got any idea?

Speaker 10 (19:27):
Well, I don't know who do you think?

Speaker 5 (19:30):
I don't know. Let's get back to the vice president, Okay? Shoot?
John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Aaron Burr. Uh, say, I wonder
who put the iron sulfide and miss Keller's ink?

Speaker 10 (19:44):
Well, how do you know it was iron sulfide? Meat
ball shocks?

Speaker 5 (19:47):
Anybody knows that's the stuff that puts the smell in ink?
Well do you know who pulled that one? Piggy?

Speaker 7 (19:53):
Let's get back the vice president.

Speaker 5 (19:54):
Okay, John Adams, MS. Jefferson, Aaron Burr, Oh gee, I
don't know what good knowing the vice presidents is gonna do.
A guy who's gonna be a stunt man in the movies,
I thought you were.

Speaker 10 (20:10):
Gonna be a lion tamer.

Speaker 5 (20:12):
Well, lion taman' is just one of the stunts I'm
gonna do.

Speaker 11 (20:15):
Talking about stunts, did you hear about the one somebody
just pulled tonight over in the school yard?

Speaker 5 (20:18):
Which one is that?

Speaker 7 (20:19):
I bet you know about it already?

Speaker 5 (20:21):
Well, maybe I do him, Maybe I don't. I ain't saying.
What are you talking about? Oh about what they did.

Speaker 10 (20:26):
To old man flugah Hammer statue.

Speaker 11 (20:28):
Somebody dressed him up and said a red flattel under
wearing a corset, no kidding? Yeah, boy, if they ever
find out who did that, they'd be expelled from school.
Prano A bet, let's get all the vice president's pig
all right?

Speaker 5 (20:49):
Say? Could I borrow a glass of water?

Speaker 10 (20:51):
We had corned beef for dinner.

Speaker 5 (20:52):
Sure, come on out in the kitchen. I'll get it
for you. Boy.

Speaker 11 (20:55):
Wait on, mister procteesies the woolies on Flugi, I.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Hear right, red flannels on the corset on flugie or
was I just dreaming? No, there's Piggybanks's hat. It's true.
Oh let me think. Yes, that's what I'll have to do. Yes,
six Trucker is just as much to blame as I am.
I can't let Riroy be expelled. Hello, judge, this is gillless. Leave.
You got to help me with something I can't explain now,

(21:22):
but I'll pick you up in about ten minutes. We
got a date with an old school made of yours.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
I'm sure this is the right part of the schoolyard.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Why, of course, not so loud. I'm a superior court judge.
Can you picture what happened if I'm caught?

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yes, scandalous, isn't it?

Speaker 8 (21:49):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Why do I let you get me into situations like this?

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Because you haven't got any more brains than I have.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
And where in the name of goots and Bargelin is
that statue?

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Never mind? I found it.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Yeah, that's googl hammer up there, flannels, corsets and all.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
Let's not hang around here all night, gar sleeve, come on,
I'll boost you ll wait.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
A minute, I take this top code off. Yeah, yeah,
that's better. All right, get down now, I'm daisy.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
Oh my poor back.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
You will take it in push my other foot up, Judge,
I will if you take it out of my hip pocket. Yeah,
there is that better now now it's in my ear, well, in.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
One ear and out the other.

Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yell there, sleeve, get up there?

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (22:38):
Oh what's wrong?

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Judge? You notice a sudden cold wind?

Speaker 4 (22:48):
No, can't say that I do. Which way is it coming?

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Judge?

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (22:59):
My feet so I won't.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
I got him? I got him. You're all right, solid
as a rock.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Oh no, you're holding Peak's feet? What the flat footed
fogle hammer? That's better. Now I can get to work.
I wonder where Leroy ever found this course?

Speaker 4 (23:14):
Make a snapper Gillis's leave. Who do you think you are?
Gypsy Rose?

Speaker 8 (23:17):
Leave?

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Okay, okay, I've got it now here catch it, judge.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
Hurry up before somebody catches us.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
All right, hey, Leroy must have sold on this underwear on.
I never knew the little rascal could sew.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
How's it coming, guilty?

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Just another second? Cut out that whistling, Judge.

Speaker 4 (23:33):
I'm not whistling. That must be the night watchman. Come on,
rip it off, let's scream.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Okay, head for the car. Judge this way, Judge, quit
calling me, Judge, don't you believe him?

Speaker 4 (23:46):
Guilty?

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Scatter, Judge, scatter, I'll read to the drug store.

Speaker 5 (24:06):
I wonder why the Principles sent for us, Uncle More.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Well, now you let me handle the whole thing.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
Marjorie, do you think that Leroy might be in some trouble?

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Well, I didn't want to tell you, Majorie, but your
brother has turned his school into a midget version of
Hell's a Poppin' Leroy.

Speaker 5 (24:20):
But he had such a fine.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Record he had until he heard Judge Hooker and Me
brag about the foolish antics we performed as children. Oh,
I hang my head when I think of it, and
I'd like to hang the judges too.

Speaker 5 (24:32):
Oh now, Uncle mord he can't be that serious.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Well, come on, you'll see. You know, after all, boys
will be boys. Leroy is just a bit high spirited.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
And what's wrong with that? Sir?

Speaker 1 (24:44):
You were a boy once yourself, weren't you?

Speaker 6 (24:45):
Me?

Speaker 1 (24:46):
No, I was talking to the principal rehearsing. I mean,
after you, my dear. Yes, look at George Washington and
the Cherry Tree, just high spirits. Washington was a boy too,
we were all boys, uncle, are you all of course
I am No, No, I'm not. It's been a long
long time since I was called of the principal's office,

(25:07):
but I still get that old feeling me too.

Speaker 5 (25:13):
Well, prays up Uncle.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
Morsh Here we are, okay, let's go in. I hope
he doesn't make a stay after school. Marjorie. Uh, mister Proctor. Yes,
I'm Leroy Forrester's uncle, and this is his sister, Marjorie. Well,
I'm glad to see you too. I want to talk
to you about that young man. Yes, I know, mister Procter. Really,
he's a fine boy at heart. I realize that there's

(25:37):
something I want to tell you. Sure but you were
a boy once yourself, weren't you, Miss Procter? Of course
I was, you, see, Marjorie, didn't I tell you mister
Procter was a boy once himself, probably high spirited too. Surely,
how about your nephew. I hope you're not going to
be harsh with him? But why should I be?

Speaker 5 (25:53):
Mister Forest?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Now, excuse me. My name's Guildersleeve Frockmorton, P. Guildersleep. Glad
to meet you, Miss Ticket. Did you say gildersleeve. Yes,
did I say something wrong that happens to be my name?

Speaker 6 (26:04):
And does that happen to be your top coat hanging
on that hook?

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Where?

Speaker 1 (26:07):
If? Yes? How did it happen to get here? Last night?
That coat with your name in it? Was found by
our night watchman? Oh my goodness, excuse me, I just
remember the devil for one moment.

Speaker 6 (26:17):
There's something else that belongs to you, your red flannel
underwear and your causet.

Speaker 5 (26:21):
Cours what, uncle mare? I don't understand.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Neither does mister Proctor.

Speaker 6 (26:27):
I understand only too well. Are you ashamed of yourself?
A grown man, a big fat grown man going around
at night putting Union suits on statues?

Speaker 4 (26:37):
What is this? Now?

Speaker 5 (26:38):
Can't you explain?

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Sure? If I can get a word?

Speaker 6 (26:40):
And that's why that speak louder than word?

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Guilder's leave. It's a lucky thing for.

Speaker 6 (26:44):
You, that Leroy forrest a yawn?

Speaker 4 (26:45):
Have you? It is?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (26:47):
I'd expose you in a minute, but I don't want
to spoil LeRoy's big day.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
LeRoy's big day.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Oh what has he done?

Speaker 8 (26:53):
Now?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
That's why I sent for you today.

Speaker 6 (26:55):
He's going to be presented with a Chamber of Commerce
medal as.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
The outstanding student in.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Flugal Hammer Junior Heights. What leroy who? Well, I knew
it all along.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
The great Yielder Sleeve will be with us again in
a few minutes. But right now I want to ask
you what is the most welcome compliment a hostess can receive? Well,
I'm told it's sincere appreciation of the dishes she serves.
Comments on the lightness of her cakes, the flakiness of
her pie crust, exclamations on how downright good everything tastes.
So here's a tip for you housewives for baking the

(27:38):
sure to win compliments, use delicious Parquet margarine.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Made by Craft.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
You see park margarine as a genuine flavor shortening, not
a blind, tasteless fast. Yes, the same delicate, appetizing taste
that makes Parkae margarine so delicious for table use gives
added flavor to baked foods too, And park mixes so
easily and cream so smoothly it's really pleasant to use.
Remember too, that park Margarine's flavor makes pan fried foods

(28:05):
taste better and it doesn't spatter or stick to the pan.
And whether you serve delicious Parkae margarine at the table
or use it for cooking. You were giving your family
a nutritious, wholesome energy food. Remember too, that Park is
an excellent source of vitamin A. So give your family
the benefits of this delightful, nourishing food. Serve them economical
Park margarine tomorrow.

Speaker 5 (28:27):
Just ask your.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Dealer for Park p a r Kay. It's made by Craft.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
That's a beautiful medal, Leroy, And I'm mighty proud of you,
But won't you answer just one question for me, my boy?

Speaker 8 (28:55):
What is it UNC?

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Who is responsible for all those escapades around your school?

Speaker 5 (29:00):
For more than I positively don't know. What's more, I
don't want to know. But even if I did know,
you don't think I'd squeal on my pal Piggy?

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Do you? You're a bride boy? Leroy? Good night.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
Original music heurred on this program was composed and conducted
by William Randall. This is Jim Bannon thinking for the
Craft Cheese Company and inviting you to be with us
again next week at the same time. Well, the further adventures.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Are the Great Elders League.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
This is the national broadcasting coming out
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.