All Episodes

July 20, 2025 • 29 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Comedy Radio brings you a lively collection of hilarious segments and jokes that keep the fun going every day.
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Craft Present the Great Gilder Sleeve, the Craft Cheese Company,
who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday Night. Present
each week at this time, Harold Perry, as the Great
Fielders leave, written by Leonard l Levinson. We'll hear from

(00:30):
the Great Yilder Sleeve in just a moment. But first,
do you know what comes to my mind when I
think of fresh bread, steaming, hot baked potatoes, tasty pan
fried breakfast eggs, luscious cakes and cookies. Well, I think
of that delicious modern margarine, Parkue margarine made by Kraft.
Because Park margarine makes all those good tasting foods taste

(00:51):
even better.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yes, Park's smooth, delicate.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Flavor makes it grand for table use, makes it a
real flavor shortening for baking, mouth watering.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Cookies, cake and pastries.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yes, and Park margarine is a delicious seasoning for hot vegetables,
makes pan fried foods tastier too. That's why I think
of Park when all sorts of good foods come to mind.
And another thing, whether you ser Park margin at the
table or use it for cooking, you can be sure
it's good for your family. It's made from selected American
farm products that are wholesome and nourishing. What's more, Park

(01:23):
is a highly nourishing energy food, and every single pound
contains nine thousand units of important vitamin A. So try
economical parquet marginmen tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Just ask your dealer.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
For Park p A R k Ay the delicious margarin
made by Craft. And now let's visit our friend, the
great Guilders Wave.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Judge Hooker, No thanks, Bertie. I'm warm enough, ny, But
a nice fire feels good on a cool night, doesn't it?

Speaker 4 (02:10):
Gillers sleep? How should I know? You've been blocking the
heat in front of this fire all evening. You're not careful,
you'll give yourself a high hot foot?

Speaker 5 (02:19):
Gee, uncle, more, don't you think the fire is good
for Judge Hooker's ideas?

Speaker 4 (02:23):
I don't know what you mean, le Roy.

Speaker 6 (02:24):
Well you said there were just half big y.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
I don't recall, young man. Isn't it time for you
to be in bed?

Speaker 7 (02:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:32):
But you promised I a stap as long as we
had company.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
Well that's right, only I never thought the company. Excuse me, Judge,
I guess my foot's falling asleep.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Oh you need h Gilder's leave. I'm going only it's
been so cozy here, and the conversation has been so interesting.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Conversation sounded more like a monologue to me. Don't they
let you talk down in your court room? Judge?

Speaker 8 (02:53):
Oh man, he's just.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Who's lonely in blue?

Speaker 9 (02:57):
Why?

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Just because I like the family atmosphere, I'm here in
preference to sitting in that big, cold, empty house of mine?
Does that mean I'm lonely and blue?

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yes? Otherwise you wouldn't come and stand in front of
our fire and get all friendly and pink. Well, maybe
you're right. You know what you need, Judge Hooker some
good woman. No, No, I don't.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
I've tried a dozen housekeepers, but they all quit.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
Well personally, I don't blame him. Judge, you're as crusty
as a carload of peanut ribble.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
What do you mean crushy? I'll have you know that
I'm still considered one of Summerfield's most eligible bachelor's.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Yeah, eligible for what social security? Leroy? Aren't you in bed? Yet?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Another hint? Berdie my cold mad?

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Please now, Judge, don't leave just because Leroy is going
to bed. How about a game of Old maid a rummy?

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Oh thanks, Gildy, you play rumming like an old maid.
Old maid like a rummy.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
Oh a bad loser, eh, judge and be shing buttle up.

Speaker 9 (03:56):
Well, I don't blame the government for clapping down on
the weather report.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
H Why Bertie left about this weather is better?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
I guess you're right, well the NFE.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Folk, Yeah, good night, you little legal loophole.

Speaker 9 (04:09):
Now some big too harsh on him, mister gillsleep.

Speaker 6 (04:12):
The poor man is only hungering for.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
Companionship, yes, and our food.

Speaker 9 (04:17):
Well, when he looks at you in this nice house
with your nice niece nephew and eating all the nice
meals I.

Speaker 6 (04:22):
Fixed, he gets sold green and looks nice.

Speaker 9 (04:24):
Spring is here again.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, you know, deep down, Bertie, I really liked the
little dufferty. And when I spoke about him needing a
good woman, I didn't mean an housekeeper. I had a
good wife.

Speaker 9 (04:33):
It's some nice ladies that he might take too.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
It take two. That'll be big of me. Bertie. You're
really on?

Speaker 10 (04:41):
Are you gonna off?

Speaker 6 (04:42):
John?

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Well?

Speaker 4 (04:43):
I don't want to count my chickens before their hats.
But Leroy, I thought I told you to go to bed.

Speaker 6 (04:47):
He been twice.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
I'm not gonna tell you again that you well, I
was getting told.

Speaker 10 (04:51):
Of monoton Yeah, okay, okay, I'm gonna.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Well up at last, he Leroy. The only thing more
difficult than getting you to bed at night is waking
you in the morning.

Speaker 6 (05:09):
Good morning, hunh, Sarah.

Speaker 5 (05:10):
Remember what you said last night about finding somebody to
marry Judge Hooker?

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Well, I didn't mean for you to hear that, young man.

Speaker 5 (05:16):
Well, it's lucky I did, because I've got somebody.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
All lined up. What do you mean? Who?

Speaker 5 (05:21):
All my teachers at school, missus Cagle? Boy, The whole
class has been trying to figure out a way to
get rid of her ever since. If they have, Yeah, well,
I'll be glad when I tell them what judge is
gonna marry her?

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Whoa here, here, wait a minute, Leroy. First, what sort
of a lady is this, mister Cagle.

Speaker 5 (05:41):
Well, to give you an idea, the kids elected her
Miss Poisoned Course of nineteen forty two.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
Unanimous. Why she's if she's anything at all like that?
Why nominate her for the title of missus Hooker?

Speaker 6 (05:54):
Is that wrong?

Speaker 4 (05:55):
After all, we're trying to make the judge's life right.
Miss Cagle sounds like a drip of the first water.

Speaker 5 (06:01):
Oh gee, that's right. I was so anxious to get
her off our hands. I didn't realize what a journey
trick it would.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Be on the judge. Yes, well, we'll have to think
of somebody else, I guess me.

Speaker 6 (06:11):
But how about looking here.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
In the morning paper, morning paper for what for the bride?

Speaker 9 (06:15):
Maybe one of the persons in the personal will turn
out to be the judges dream girl.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Thanks, Bertie, no harm in looking. Let me see. Oh, yes,
here we are personals. Attractive young lady it blonde wishes
to meet sympathetic gentlemen of means object Hollywood.

Speaker 6 (06:33):
No, I don't think.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I don't think that's the judges style.

Speaker 4 (06:36):
Read the next one.

Speaker 9 (06:37):
That sounded better.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yes, here it is well to do widow interested in
meeting professional man over fifty, have refined tastes and grand piano.
Also private income, own car, and seven delightful children who
will add life to any home.

Speaker 6 (06:52):
Oh for seven kids?

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Yes, wrong number. I'm sorry, Bertie. I'm afraid our little
Justice wouldn't have any peace if we snagged him a
helpmate out of the help wanted.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
Oh keepers looking at the time. I gotta go over
to Piggy Bank's house.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, what poor Leroy.

Speaker 5 (07:09):
His aunt Henrietta is knitting sweaters for the army, and
I'm to bring us some wool Marjorie.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Left for he well, run along by all means. And
so Henrietta Banks is in town, Say Henrietta Banks, what's
the matter nothing. She's perfect for Judge Hooker. I mean
she has a nice social position. Her grandfather was the
first white child born in this county. And she's really
not bad looking.

Speaker 6 (07:31):
She I didn't know you knew Piggy's hand uncle more.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Yes, I met her about ten years ago. I remembered
I just ripped my trousers before she came over, and
I didn't dare get up all the time she was here.
It really was very embarrassing.

Speaker 6 (07:44):
She sure sounds like the future, miss Judge Hooker.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Yeah, well, I'm gonna try anyway. Let me have that yarn, Leroy,
I'll deliver it. While I'm there, I can sort of
subtenly get around talking about the judge and matrimony and
things like that.

Speaker 6 (07:55):
Well, i'll get your hat in courtra.

Speaker 9 (07:57):
What about that appointment you had to get examined French sures, mister.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
Gil Oh, Yes, the insurance doctors do here in half
an hour. You tell him I was called away on business, Bertie,
have him come in to day or so. If I'm
going to press the Judge's suit, I better strike while
the iron is hot. Thank you, Leroy. You know I'm
getting quite a kick out of this idea. Won't the
judge be surprised when he finds out all I'm doing
for him? Well, here I go, good loves. Yes, well,

(08:25):
thank you.

Speaker 5 (08:28):
He's a pretty squall guy, isn't he, Bertie?

Speaker 6 (08:30):
Sure?

Speaker 5 (08:31):
Oh no, all that's trouble, just to make two lonely
people happy.

Speaker 6 (08:34):
That's right.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
I'm looking at him walking down the street, a regular
Dan Cupid.

Speaker 6 (08:40):
Yes, he he got to figure for it.

Speaker 10 (08:54):
Yeah, yet I'm coming.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
Oh yeah, well, well, little Henry other Banks. Why you
haven't changed the day since I saw you ten years ago?

Speaker 10 (09:05):
I haven't. Oh, you're just being nice.

Speaker 7 (09:09):
I don't tell me.

Speaker 10 (09:10):
I know who you are. You're mister, oh, mister Gilder
or something.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's right, Gilder's sleep the fancy you're remembering me all
this time?

Speaker 10 (09:20):
Well, don't you come in, mister Gilder.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
I don't mind if I do. My nephew, Leroy Forrest
was bringing over this yarn for you, and you happen
to mention your name, and I said, well, never mind.
You'd be surprised when I said, well I.

Speaker 10 (09:36):
Have a chair, Well don't you'll take you.

Speaker 7 (09:38):
I can't imagine how you could remember me, after all,
we only met once before, and you seem so shy.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
Then you're shy. Oh, yes, I remember. That was just
a temporary bashmless on my part. I suppose I was
just afraid of making the wrong impression.

Speaker 10 (09:54):
Oh as if you could.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Have, as if I couldn't have. But tell me, Miss Banks,
or rather Henrietta, that is, if you don't mind.

Speaker 10 (10:04):
Oh no, no, not at all.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
When Leroy told me that you were here, I was
greatly surprised to hear that you were still Miss Banks. Yes, my,
but I'll bet you put up a gallant fight against
all the men who must have wanted to change your name.

Speaker 10 (10:20):
Well, some girls like a certain independent.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
Well I knew that would be the trouble. That attitude
of yours is hardly pair to us a poor man, Henrietta.

Speaker 10 (10:30):
Oh do you think so?

Speaker 4 (10:35):
Absolutely? My marriage is the most delightful of partnerships. If
I'm told, it reminds me if there's someone right here
in this town. Who'll be just wonderful for you.

Speaker 10 (10:44):
Oh really, now, I don't know what I know what
you're talking.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
About, Henrietta, you do too, I do not. Well, I'm
not going to mention any name, but this follow well
he's been awfully lonesome when I heard your name this morning,
I mean when he heard.

Speaker 10 (11:05):
Your Yeah, yes, I understand.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Well that is he is.

Speaker 7 (11:09):
I mean, oh, you haven't changed the business.

Speaker 10 (11:13):
You're just as dashful and boy as as you wear.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
The first time, well you know, I wasn't quite prepared,
and possibly I better come back another time. Yes, I
think I should go now, and you'll be hearing from
me later. I will hello, goodbye, not goodbye, o revoir.

Speaker 7 (11:47):
Oh hello Martha, Martha, you're acquainted with everyone in summer Fields.

Speaker 10 (11:53):
Well tell me all you.

Speaker 7 (11:54):
Know about this mister guiltlessly yea, yes, that's the one.
Did you no, Well, what do you know?

Speaker 9 (12:10):
No?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
No?

Speaker 10 (12:13):
Oh no, wa mauky me.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
All the up cases I've ever had to listen to
in all my last Oh, hello, gildish leap.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
Glad you got then?

Speaker 3 (12:35):
How's everything?

Speaker 4 (12:36):
I mean, A long better than you'd ever suspect, Judge.
Remember our conversation out at the house the other night.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Of course I do, And as soon as I left
I thought of some damn the answers too. Let me
see if I.

Speaker 6 (12:45):
Can remember it.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
Oh, don't bother, but.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
There's one thing I've been thinking about, guildy old man.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
Yeah, what was that, Joe?

Speaker 3 (12:51):
You remember saying that what I needed was a good woman.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
I didn't give that much thought at first, but now
I believe you're right.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
Oh that's fine, and I have a little ldy wo'll
be just the person for you.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
You think she'd know how to run my home right? Oh?

Speaker 4 (13:04):
Yes, and make you very happy too.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
I hope she knows how to cook.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Oh yes, I'm sure she's a wonderful cook, very nice looking.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Also not interested in her looks, Gilly, my agor good
cook is a lot more important than a pretty face.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
Oh well, this lady is both. I means she has both.
If that is, she is one and has the other.
When would you like to meet her? Sooner the better? Well,
how about dropping over to my house for dinner next Friday.
I'll have her there too.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Fine, Only you needn't go to all this trouble. Couldn't
you just meet me here?

Speaker 4 (13:35):
We could settle the whole.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
Thing in ten minutes.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Yes, oh no, you can't do things that way.

Speaker 6 (13:38):
Why not?

Speaker 4 (13:39):
How do you know you're gonna like each other? Oka,
this is a serious step you're about to take. You've
got to approach it cautiously. Oh maybe you're right.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Believe me. If she's all and you say she is,
I'll keep her pride.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Well I should hope.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
So, oh Josh, he says, is over all right, darter,
and I'll see you Friday night, guild, all right, Friday night,
so long y Hey, Ronna if you're still looking for
a housekeeper, and am mine, am mine, Mister gilders Leaver
has found a woman who sounds like a perfect servant.

Speaker 4 (14:07):
Well that's nice of him.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, he's a pretty good fan and he's fat, fumbling way.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Ah, good afternoon, Bertie. Hello, Well I've arranged the whole thing.
Judge Hooker is coming to dinner day after tomorrow.

Speaker 9 (14:32):
Oh, then I better fix something extra special stumptures with
a touch of romantic and a dash of Lovey do
it you invited him.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
Bank, of course? Oh yes, and she was so excited
she kept calling me a dear boy.

Speaker 9 (14:44):
I sure hope she's gonna like Judge Hooker when she
meets up with.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
It, cause she will just assume, as I tell her
that he's the unknown admirer who's been sending her the
flowers and candy and poems. Say, did I read you
the new poem I sent her last night?

Speaker 6 (14:57):
No, let's hear it.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
Yeah, I've got a copy of it here the desk somewhere. Yes,
here it is under the water bill. Listen to this, folks,
Oh Henrietta, sweet Henrietta. I can't forget her. Girl like you.
Wherever I go, I see your face in the sun
and the snow or any old place. Your smile turns

(15:25):
the winter into spring and makes my poor heart go
tingling a ling. And though I'm so shy, I worship
from afar way up in my sky. You're the number
one star, Oh Henrietta, Sweet Henrietta, I'd sure like to
get her a girl like you.

Speaker 6 (15:41):
God, he I never knew you were a poet. Unk
you sure haven't give mister gillslee if you like it.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
I'll give you copies if you want them.

Speaker 5 (15:49):
Well, let's just sure make her feel much, he thoughts
the judge, say, does he know he's been writing all
at golf and sending her all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
Yes, well, no, I've invited him to come here half
an hour before Henrietta get scared. Remind me the button
hooker and tell him all about it. Then, Yes, sir,
that's a.

Speaker 9 (16:05):
Very good idea, and he won't have time nothing to
get cold feet.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
Yes, and cole feed is going.

Speaker 9 (16:11):
More romances one wather other than practically anything?

Speaker 4 (16:28):
Well is everything, said Bertie, Yes, sir, right to a
t all the judges favorite dishes to put him in
good humor.

Speaker 6 (16:35):
You know, I planned to decorate the table with orange.

Speaker 9 (16:38):
Blossoms so miss Banks would feel like a blush and dried.

Speaker 6 (16:41):
Well.

Speaker 9 (16:41):
I couldn't get none, so I used oranges.

Speaker 6 (16:43):
So we was out.

Speaker 9 (16:45):
And that's why we got lemons on the table.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
That must be the bridegroom to be. Now let him in, berdie, Yes,
sir and wro he he's surprised.

Speaker 6 (16:54):
To learn up what for?

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Yes, le leave those olives alone.

Speaker 6 (16:58):
Yes, I was just ang them nuts all. It ain't jack.
This kills me. This the insurance company. Then it's said
another doctors give you that examination?

Speaker 4 (17:07):
Oh my goodness, I can't make it. Now tell him
I'm busy. Have him come here another time.

Speaker 5 (17:12):
Okay, okay, but you better hurry for the raceco up, gee,
of all the times to show up, just when we
were ready to put over a big Mrger like this.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
Leroy, I wish you'd include yourself out of dispair. It's
a delicate matter involving the future happiness of two fine people,
and I don't want you, in your juvenile way, to
mess it up.

Speaker 6 (17:29):
I don't worry, Uncle mord I know my part.

Speaker 5 (17:31):
As soon as they go in the living room after dinner,
I'll start playing those Nelson Eddie Janet McDonald records.

Speaker 4 (17:36):
Well you're a bright boy, Leroy, that's right, don't slip
up now.

Speaker 9 (17:42):
The doctor don't win, but he's been replaced by another visdom,
Miss Henryette Bank.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
What oh she's too early, Bertie. Why the judge isn't
here yet? Of all the numbskull females that ever are Henry.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
My?

Speaker 4 (17:56):
How lovely you look tonight?

Speaker 10 (17:57):
Oh say it's.

Speaker 7 (17:59):
Jack mart And dear little Leroy, how are you this evening?

Speaker 6 (18:03):
We'll just find this bank?

Speaker 7 (18:05):
Oh, come, come, come now, No more business, thanks, darling,
just call me Auntie Paul.

Speaker 10 (18:14):
Well, how are you, Las Morton? The cat still got
your tongue.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
Who me, Oh no, we don't keep a tongue. I mean,
nobody's got our cat. Won't you have a sit down?

Speaker 10 (18:30):
Thank you? Now, come over here and sit beside me?

Speaker 4 (18:36):
Is that? Oh? Yes, considerably?

Speaker 7 (18:40):
You know I was so anxious to find out what's
your surprise was? I just couldn't wait. That's why I'm
here so early. Do you think I'm acting like a
giddy young school girl.

Speaker 8 (18:50):
Yes, rock Morton, you say the most flattering, precious thing,
almost as nice as your poem my poems.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
But I never wrote to any poems.

Speaker 7 (19:02):
Oh, comb gun, Now, don't deny them, you shy, modest boy.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
But there must be some mistakes?

Speaker 10 (19:08):
Why not at all?

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (19:11):
Incidentally, throck Morton, do you particularly like the color of
those drapes at the window?

Speaker 4 (19:16):
Well, I don't know. I never gave it much thought.

Speaker 7 (19:18):
Why Oh, I was just thinking about changing them, that's all.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Oh, if you mean, yes, that's what I.

Speaker 10 (19:26):
Thought, you man, that's frock Morton.

Speaker 7 (19:32):
Am I going to get that dick surprised before dinner
as well?

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Henriyelle, it looks like you're going to get it any minute.

Speaker 6 (19:38):
No excuse me, see, but there's.

Speaker 9 (19:41):
No poper phone call for you, phone call.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
Oh my goodness, excuse me. Please, I'll be right back. Hello.
Who is this?

Speaker 7 (19:49):
Hello?

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Gillie'll gap this sucker? Sorry, I won't be able to
make it tonight.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
If what I got a jury? You've got to be here,
Judge Cooker, you don't understand all the trouble I've gone
to his surprises and everything. How soon can you get here?
Maybe I can install things.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Don't come on me at all?

Speaker 4 (20:09):
What am I going to do about Henrietta, miss Banks
housekeeper housekeeper had Hard? Yeah, I'll take a chance, but
she isn't the housekeeper at all?

Speaker 6 (20:19):
And tars Hard come sleep?

Speaker 4 (20:23):
Well, no, I'm really in soup. It's not fun. It's
a surprise ready now, yes, Henrietta, but it's a different
one altogether.

Speaker 10 (20:33):
I don't understand.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yeah, I didn't think you would. I asked Judge Cooker
to come here this evening. I told the judge all
about you, but he can't make it tonight.

Speaker 10 (20:42):
Oh well that's perfectly all right, John Martin.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
What it is?

Speaker 4 (20:46):
Surely you don't know what to relief? This is to me, Henrietta?

Speaker 10 (20:50):
Why you impetuous boy? Did you be an eye?

Speaker 7 (20:54):
And even if the judge had come we we couldn't
get married without a license.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
If if we if the judge wasn't going to marry us,
he was going to marry you. Uh toh, whim's health.

Speaker 6 (21:07):
I don't know him at all.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Oh, yes you do. He's your unknown admirer.

Speaker 6 (21:11):
Oh no, that to you.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
Oh no, that's the judge.

Speaker 10 (21:16):
All right, and then see him here and let's see
I see.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Oh well, I can hardly do that for a little while.

Speaker 10 (21:21):
Yet, Oh, you're just like all other men.

Speaker 8 (21:25):
After leading me on, it turns out to be a joke.

Speaker 10 (21:28):
It's a cruel, heartless joke. After I told all my friends.

Speaker 5 (21:32):
Oh well, you haven't heard the last of this, mister Gildersleeve.

Speaker 7 (21:36):
There are courts and laws to protect innocent girls from
men like you.

Speaker 6 (21:40):
Goodbye.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Oh why was I ever born? I'm telling you, Judge
Leroy got us straight from the little bank's boy is
aunt has call in some lawyer and Taylor.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Oh he's a tough man, this tailor. He'll take you
straight to the cleaners.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
That's what I'm afraid of. They've been going over those
letters and poems I sent Henrietta. Oh that's bad. Yes,
if they ever read those poems in court. I'll never
be able to hold up my head again in Summerfield.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
That serves you right for trying to marry me off
yellos Leeve, You're a pretty stupid cupid, but.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
I meant everything for the best. Judge. Oh please, can't
you help me?

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Why? Yes, Killless Sleeve, I'll be glad to help you.
If you publish those poems. Put me down for a copy.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
I'll see here, hooker. That's the wrong attitude after I
played John Alden New York poop hondas.

Speaker 10 (22:38):
Yellless leave.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
I'm going to get out of here before I get
involved in this scandless case.

Speaker 6 (22:42):
Goodbye.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
I'll be seeing you in the funny paper.

Speaker 4 (22:45):
You'll live, You'll goat. There's gratitude for you. Next time
I take pity on him, I hope somebody gives me
a good slip pick in the telephone. Hello if who oh,
mister Taylor tomorrow, mister Taylor, at what time? Mister Taylor? Goodbye,

(23:10):
mister Taylor. Oh now my goose is frigazi If Bertie Leroy,
did you call me Gila? Yes, more bad news. Henrietta
Banks are sending her lawyer over to see me tomorrow. Afternoon.
She's gonna sue me for damages if I don't marry her.

Speaker 6 (23:25):
Oh, Jeitz, he can only show us that you would
make a terrible husband.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
Nonsense, Leroy, I'd make a wonderful husband. What am I saying?

Speaker 3 (23:31):
I'd be all yeah, But how you going brude without
marrying huh?

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Wait a minute, I just had an idea. Yes, I
think it'd work out if I can only convince that
lawyer of hers that I'm not worth marrying. What I know.
I'll listen to you too. When mister Taylor the lawyer
shows up tomorrow, Bertie, you meet him at the door,
and then you'll say to him.

Speaker 9 (24:01):
Come not in, mister, you will see mister gilflee. But
you got to promise to be quiet while you're in there,
on account of he's a mighty sick man.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
Oh sick must be something new.

Speaker 10 (24:10):
Oh no, he gets this.

Speaker 9 (24:12):
Way off and on. Now here we is. And remember
no getting him excited, and no yelling at him.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Oh, of course not.

Speaker 9 (24:20):
I brought you a visitor, the gentleman.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
He was expected. Oh yes, how do you do, sir?
You won't mind my nephew just goes on feeding me
my chicken broth? Will you not at all? Maybe I
better come some other day when you be feeling better. Oh,
sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel better?

Speaker 6 (24:39):
No, no, no, no, don't say I don't.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
You still have a fighting chance, Thank you, my boy.
Here's such a comfort. A more chicken broth? Please?

Speaker 6 (24:49):
Okay, catlage hot?

Speaker 4 (24:51):
Yes, I'll be careful. Oh hey that is hotly right?
Can't careful? Oh? Yes, oh pull the pain? If no
more soup? Le roy? Well, that seems to be a trouble,
mister gillisleeve. I can tell you about my troubles all afternoon.

(25:11):
But why bore you with an organ recital?

Speaker 9 (25:22):
Yes, batman, is you in no shape to get married?

Speaker 6 (25:26):
Any lady who gets hitched up with him better be
ready to die or ready veiled?

Speaker 9 (25:30):
Black?

Speaker 5 (25:30):
No, oh, Bertie, never say die.

Speaker 6 (25:33):
I'll go more. Still has a fifty empty chance?

Speaker 4 (25:36):
Is that soll? Do you want to bet? Oh?

Speaker 6 (25:39):
Do you want to finish dictating your real uncle?

Speaker 4 (25:42):
Excuse me for interrupting, mister gillisleep. But what's wrong with you? Yes?
My heart? Oh high blood pressure alcating with low blood
pressure rather than usual?

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Anything else?

Speaker 5 (25:55):
Yes, anything else? Hunk has been given up by ten doctors,
six hospitals in a.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
Cairo, so you can see I'm I'm really in no
condition to take on you. Publications as well, I should
think not.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I don't see any reason for me to waste any
time examining you.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
I'll just go back and report. Ye oh, excuse me,
hand me the telephone leans hell.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Oh, killers sleeve is Judge Hummer?

Speaker 6 (26:23):
Say?

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Heard the good news?

Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yet it's all over the corn house. Congratulations your lucky skiff.

Speaker 4 (26:27):
I don't think I understand.

Speaker 5 (26:29):
You know what's happened.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
Henrietta Banks has gone and they looked.

Speaker 6 (26:32):
With her lawyer, George.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
Taylor, what yeah, well, so long, well, wow, this is wonderful.
All my troubles are over now she can't sue me.
Henrietta married her lawyer. Folks say, if she, then who
are you? Mister?

Speaker 9 (26:46):
Me?

Speaker 4 (26:47):
Oh? I thought you knew. I'm the doctor from the
insurance comedy.

Speaker 10 (26:50):
What I'm gonna make?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
The plane goodbye? The Great Yeller's Slave will be once
again in a few minutes. But right now, I want

(27:14):
to answer some questions several people have asked me lately,
questions like what's park Margarine made of?

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Is it good for you?

Speaker 4 (27:21):
How?

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Can it taste so deliciously good? Well, I'm glad to
answer those.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Questions because it will explain why Park.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Margmin is so different and better than old time marginins.
Why are to downright delicious food that's nourishing and wholesome too.
You see Park as a modern vegetable marginman made by Craft,
and the pure refined American vegetable oils that go in
the parque help make it the highly nutritious energy food
that it is. And to its wholesome goodness, Craft adds

(27:49):
important vitamin A to parka margmen nine thousand units to
every pound. Now about parkae Margin's delicious flavor, It's Craft's
long experience and making good tasting foods that accounts for that. Yes,
if you think all marginins are alike.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Just taste Park. That rich, delicate Park.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Flavor is making it a favorite everywhere for table use
and for cooking too. But why not find out about
Park Margin's goodness yourself? Yes, try a pound or two
of economical Park marginin tomorrow. Just ask for Park p
a r kay, the delicious modern margarine made by Craft.
The maker's a famous miracle whip salad dressing.

Speaker 5 (28:48):
Gevigeman turned down.

Speaker 6 (28:50):
What are you going to do about insurance, e.

Speaker 4 (28:52):
Roy, I'm gonna spend that money for some victory insurance.
I'm going to invest in defense bunds. It'll pay off
in ten years. It's like an endowment policy.

Speaker 6 (29:00):
I mean, why your dollars will be fighting for you.
As for Uncle Sap.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
That's right. It's a wonderful way of combining business and pleasure,
isn't it. Good Night, folks.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted
by William Randall. This is Jim Bannon speaking for the
Crap Cheese Company and inviting you to be with us
again next week at the same time for the further
adventures of the Great Guilders Leave. This is the National
Broadcasting Company.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.