November 7, 2024 • 45 mins
This week, I’m sharing all the juicy details about the massive life changes I’ve gone through in the past month. From quitting my 9-to-5 job with zero backup plan to moving back home and even parting ways with my new therapist — I’m laying it all out. Plus, I’m diving into the mysterious Amazon packages my roommate started receiving and reading some of your incredible life updates that prove that October Theory is REAL. If you’re a twenty-something who’s been thinking about making a significant change but feels uncertain, this episode is for you! We might all feel a little lost with the whirlwind of transitions, but remember — we’re in this together. Tune in for some much-needed support, laughs, and a reminder that it’s okay to embrace the unknown.
Make sure to follow The Completely Clueless Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @completelycluelesspod 💖
And for more of my personal adventures, follow me @sarahaliceliddy!
Make sure to follow The Completely Clueless Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @completelycluelesspod 💖
And for more of my personal adventures, follow me @sarahaliceliddy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Speaker 3 (01:09):
Hello, everyone, Welcome back to the Completely Clueless podcast. I
am your host, Sarah Alice Lyddy and let me tell
you I have some tea for you all on this episode.
This episode, I am going to be telling you everything
that is going on in my life. I took a
hiatus last week because I was moving and jorama.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Roll pleasea bah. I quit my job.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I quit my job, many of you guys get right
on my Instagram. I was really thinking I could have
fooled you guys. I was really like, they're gonna come
out of the woodwork with some crazy answers.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
But that was not it. And I'm honestly happy you
guys can read me that well.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That means I'm doing a good job as a host
of this podcast that you all know my next move
before I have even told you, guys, So you got
it right. I quit my job and and things have
totally turned themselves upside down in the past month of
my life, Like where I was at the beginning of
October is not where I am right now, which is
(02:10):
November two.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
It is election day, so there is that in the air.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
There is also just a lot of anxiety on my
part in the air, and so I'm just like putting
that out there for you guys, like I just want
to paint the picture. So yesterday I was in this
exact spot trying to film this episode, and I stopped
and started and stopped and started for two hours. I
(02:35):
was just so in my head. I had also had
a really bad night's sleep. When my anxiety is high,
it tends to take over my sleep, and so I
didn't get a good night's sleep. I was vibrating with
so much anxiety, and then I was trying to film
this episode and I really wanted to push through because
(02:57):
I think for me personally, and I think a lot
of people experience insists when we are at high stress
levels and high anxiety levels, we can kind of like
turn off. I know for me, I tend to just
like kind of dissociate a little bit, like I will
like lay in bed and scroll but not really be
present and just try and avoid everything that is making
(03:20):
me feel stressed out. So yesterday I was really trying
to challenge that, and you know, I did challenge it.
So like applot for applaud for me, I did challenge it.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Okay. I did try.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I got up, I took a shower, I did my
therapy session, and I attempted to make this.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Work for two hours. And then I got to the
boy when I was like, all right, all right, all right,
I literally call my partner.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I was like, cry gousiebe like, I really try to
make this work.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
It will work.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Like I almost felt like I needed to ask permission
from to somebody to tell me like it's okay to
like close close the book for the night, step away
and come back with a fresh head and eyes tomorrow.
And I did need that permission, and I think I
(04:07):
knew deep down. I was like, Sarah, you've been trying,
You've tried your best, Like it's okay to step away.
So if you need permission from somebody to step away
today from something that you've been trying to make work,
or you need permission to give yourself grace and rest,
this is me giving you the permission rest give yourself grace,
especially in this last month. We've all been through so
(04:29):
many life changes this past month, Like we need to
give ourselves grace as we are moving through those changes,
because God, it is a journey a journey a journey. However,
I want to give you, guys, like just the like pulse.
Let's give it a pulse check. That's what they used
to call it at work for me, a pulse check
when we checked in on the team in our lives.
(04:51):
So I'm gonna give you a pulse check on my
life and all the things that have changed in the
last month right now. So let's run the docket.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
One. I'm moved home.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Welcome to my childhood bedroom. I try to do a
little something, something special with my set. This is my
sort and I hope you guys like it. I put
on a fire in the back. It took me a
long time to roast that up, as you can say.
So this is my childhood bedroom. I moved back home,
I think a little bit over a week ago. Now
(05:23):
I live on the third floor of my house and
let me tell you, it's a fucking disaster up here.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
It's a disaster. It's a disaster, and it's driving me crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I'm one of those girls that if my space isn't
clean or at least just like tidy, my mind is
a little bit crazy. And I definitely have been feeling
that the week that I've been here, however, with finishing
up work and everything else going on, Like I was
just like, okay, like I will deal with this at
a later point. But I'm definitely getting to the point
(05:55):
where I'm like, all right, Star, like you need to
prioritize this because it's a affecting you.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
So that is definitely getting done this week.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
When I come back to you guys next week, like
I am going to report that I clean this. And
if I didn't report that, like somebody tell me, like
clean your space, because like I gotta be held accountable
on this one. Another big life change is I decided
to step away from the new therapist that I had
been seeing for.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
The last six months.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I'm not going to give the anybity the anybity gritty details.
I'm not going to give the crazy the crazy. There's
not even crazy details. I'm not going to give the
details on that is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You know, it's my personal journey.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
The therapist just like didn't work out for me, and honestly,
as my old therapist said, because I'm seeing her in
the interim, it's actually the first relationship that I've like
sort of ended in.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
A healthy way.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I really really just wanted to email this therapist like sorry,
this isn't working, like I'm done. So but I actually
told her in person, and it was so freaking uncomfortable.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I will just say I tried to go in with
something I said like my location is the reason why
I wanted to end things, and then I found out
that she had an office in Westchester, and so I
was like eck. So then I was like sort of
telling the truth in the next reason that I gave her.
(07:19):
But ultimately I just felt like she wasn't the right fit.
I didn't know how to say that, but I sort
of said that in my second reason of like wanting
somebody with more experience with LGBTQ clientele. It was awkward,
It was uncomfortable. But the therapist that I have been
seeing for super long and am seeing in the intern
while she helps me find a new therapist said like, Sarah,
(07:41):
you've ended a relationship healthily.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
I was like, oh my god, I'm a superstar, Like
where's my prize? Like I need a sticker.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I successfully broke up with my therapist, like icon queen legend.
So that's a little claps even though it's a life change,
like it's definitely a successful one. I guess now I
need to find a new therapist, which is just like
so much work, but.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
We're gonna get there.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
And I'm starting this podcast all on my own, really
venturing into it by myself. And I think that was
something else that was super difficult about recording yesterday. When
you have somebody else here with you, it's easy to
keep the conversation going and to not get sowing your
head about what you're saying. What are the other people
on the other side going to think? Like I just
(08:26):
didn't think about those things when Audrey was here with
me or any of our guests, And now that I'm
doing this alone, like, it's a lot harder for me
to like keep everything going, to not feel super self
conscious about like what I'm saying, if it's coming out
the right way, if I'm fumbling over my words like
I do.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I fumble over my words all the.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Time, you guys, And it is something that causes me
a lot of like self consciousness. I feel very like
aware of how my words are coming out, if I'm
saying them correctly, if I'm fumbling over them. It's just
like a me thing, And so that's just like another
element in all of this change is that the podcast
(09:07):
is also going through a really big change, so job
location of living, an environment, new therapist, and my business
in ventures and career. Like literally my whole life has changed,
except for like my friendships, my family and my relationship.
Like it's insanity to me, Like I literally can't realize
(09:31):
how I feel because I just feel so many mixed
emotions and I really want to get into it with
you all and be open and honest as much as
I can about everything, because I know, for me, I
go on social media and after like watching content that
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Gives me joy.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I sometimes, especially on Instagram, Like I find myself clicking
out of Instagram more because of how bad it makes
me feel.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
And you know, my therapist.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Actually said, like nobody leaves social media feeling happy or good.
I may have said this on one of the last episodes,
but it's something that's just like really stuck with me,
and I'm really trying to be aware of when I
don't feel good on social media and stepping away from
it or switching to a different app. But lately, I
think with all the changes going on in my life
(10:24):
and feeling insecure about some of those things, and feeling
insecure about where I am in my career, Like I
have just been comparing myself so much to people on
the internet, people I literally do not know, and I'm
trying to be open and honest and vulnerable, but you
see flubbing words. I'm trying to be open, honest and
(10:45):
vulnerable about my experience because I don't want this to
be a space where people want to click away from.
I want people to click in because they know that
a girl is gonna be real with them and that
they can be real with me, and we can be
real together.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
So we're gonna get all into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
And if I can make you feel like you are
not alone in one second of this episode and every episode,
I have done my job.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And please DM me if you've had a.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Moment where you felt like you're not alone in this episode,
in any episode, because I greatly appreciate y'all's feedback, especially
doing this alone, Like I feel like I'm like, what
is the measure of success? How do I know if
people are engaged in whatever? So please DM me. I
would love that, and I love talking to you guys
and getting to know you because it can be lonely
it's just.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Me and my childhood bedroom, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
All right, But before we get into October theory all
the changes happening in my life and your guys's entries,
I have to talk to you guys about a recent
clueless moment that was solved for my old roommate Liz
and I. So shortly after we moved into our apartment,
we started receiving packages well better, Yeah, Liz started receiving
(11:56):
packages address to her at our apartment that were weird
as fuck. And in these packages were usually garbage bags
of some sort. And then there was one time there
was like African soap and tea, and then one time
there were peapads, which Olivia's Bunny Radish uses, so that
was free. That was great, but like just weird packages, right,
(12:19):
And the weirdest thing about it was like obviously Liz
was not ordering these packages for herself, like she was like,
where the fuck are.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
These coming from?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
And then number two that was weird was it was
addressed to her, but it was by her nickname Liz.
Whenever she orders Amazon packages, she orders under her like
full name which is Elizabeth and then her last name
and then the address. But these were coming to Liz
and like our address, and she was like, this is
so weird, Like how would you even like know that.
(12:49):
I go by Liz, like why are these showing up
at our place? And literally they would show up every
couple of months, and we would just be like what
he's going on? Like the first one a ride and
we were like, all right, this this is probably just
a mistake of some sorts. But then the second, and
the third and the fourth came and we were like,
this is so weird. And immediately I go into like
(13:11):
anxiety mode of like, shit, did somebody find out our
address from the commuting videos I make on TikTok, Like
how does somebody know our address? And like I think
you would like ignite some fear every time we would
get a package, but then like.
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Speaker 3 (14:55):
You, nothing knock on would thank God ever happy. So
we were sort of just like after a couple of days,
like we would lose like any interest in figuring out
like how these were getting to our place. And Liz
said that she did contact Amazon and they didn't really
have any answers for her either. So we got a
(15:18):
package not like long before I moved out, and I
was like, there's another one out of your creepy packages game,
and she was like, oh my god, like I'm like scared,
like what is going odd?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Like what are we gonna do about this?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
And so not long after, I either think it was
that same day or the next, Liz gets a message
from one of her like regional marketers and it's like, hey,
are you getting Amazon packages like to your place that
you didn't order? And she was like yes, like I've
been receiving these like weird packages. She didn't use the
word weird, but like I've been receiving these packages that
(15:55):
I've never got for myself.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
And so mystery solved.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
It was Liz's regional marketer that was sending these packages
to our place. Liz had used her account to get
something for work that they all needed, and like the
subscriptions for Amazon that this regional marketer was ordering were
going to our place, like for some reason that address
was ticked off and not her own. So I am
(16:22):
just so happy this wasn't a creepy person sending us
better Yet Liz weird things like Honestly, after we got
the last one, I was like, is somebody trying to
tell us that we're garbage or that your garbage, or
like that they want to pee on us because like
peapads and then watch it off with the African soap
Like I was like, what is this mystery?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Like I just like could not believe it.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
But ultimately Liz doesn't have a stalker, and I'm so
happy for that. Like this was an interesting saga for
us to go through and now it's over and I'm
happy that this is no longer a clueless moment for
her or for I. I mean, sure I moved out,
but like you could tell every time a package Gameless
was like, what the fuck is going on? So Amazon
(17:09):
package saga is completely clueless cleared, Lol, completely clueless cleared
if you guys have had any recent clueless moments, I'm
gonna put up a little toggle on the Instagram which
is at completely Clueless Pod this week for y'all to
share your stories too, because I definitely want to start
including your clueless moments more or clueless clear ups, which
(17:30):
is kind of like I just explained like a resolve
moment to a clueless moment, and we can chat about them.
I love clueless moments. I've had so many silly ones recently,
Like I didn't know that you could put other coins
besides quarters into meters, Like I thought you could only
put quarters into meters and that is not true.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
My partner was like Sarah, like are.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You okay, Like you can put any type of quarter
into a meter, and like I sincerely had no idea
yeah about that. So I have like stupid little clueless
moments like that all the time. That just makes me
question my abilities is worsen, But you know, it's that's
(18:12):
just life. We all learn things at different points, So
please feel free to share, and I will put up
that toggle this week so we can all be clueless together.
But for now, we need to get into the realty,
Like I need to stop stalling and beating around the
bush and just dive headfirst into it. I'm honestly nervous
(18:32):
to talk about this, and I want to like be
as open as I can while also like obviously protecting
myself and like any contracts that I sign. So let's
just get into me quitting my job and flipping my
life upside down. And the first thing that we're gonna
do to talk about this is talk about October theory.
(18:54):
So I didn't know what octoger theory was until this year,
and as somebody was like a social media content creator
strategist full time, like, I saw this October theory arise
on TikTok and I was like, great, Like what piece
of content can I make around this? Or like this
would be a great trend for us to play into.
But then I've taken a step back and I've realized, like,
(19:17):
oh my god, like I've gone through October theory, Like
October theory has theorized on my life and so many
of y'all's LIFs that I had to dig deeper into
it and really prove with my shit and your shit.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That this is real.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
So I looked up some things online because in my mind.
I like know what it is, but I wanted to
be able to verbalize it to you all in the
correct way. So I looked up this Batch's article. I
think that's how you say that company's name. It's like bitches,
but I it's like with an.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Ease on, like badges, badges. I think that's how you
say it.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I looked up this Batch's article and it had some
really great quotes on like what really October theory is.
So they said, October theory becomes the month of big changes,
major life decisions, and personal growth because October is like
a second New Year's It's the time when people collectively collectively.
(20:13):
It's the time when people collectively say, oh shit, there's
only a few months left before the new year, and
I haven't done any of the goals I set for
myself at the new year. Additionally, there is this feeling
that time is moving really quickly, like I know what
happens for me. It's like Halloween is over and before
you blink, it's already the new year. So time is
moving on like two time speed. I will also link
(20:36):
this article in the bio if you want any more
of like a definition explanation on what.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
October theory is.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
But I just wanted to lay that groundwork because I
really feel like it all explains, like why all this
happened in this month, and honestly, like I wasn't even
thinking about it, but it just happened.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
So let's get into it. I promise I'm going to
dive into it. I'm just nervous and.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I don't know how to get my thoughts like a
completely one hundred percent straight on it. So please do
your best to stick with me as I bounce from
all the reasons why I quit my job.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
But yes, I quit my job.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Today is actually my second day of fun employment hashtag unemployment.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
That's what people call it these days, is fun employment.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
I think it should be called stress employment because that
is what it is. But it is by second day
of unemployment, I decided, I want to say, like October tenth,
to quit my job.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
It had been a long time coming.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Actually, my partner told me that I have been mentioning
wanting to quit this job since February of twenty twenty four,
which is absolutely crazy to me. And let's just do
a quick little recap of my timeline with this job,
especially for those who are new here. So I started
working at this marketing agency in June twenty twenty three
as a creator resident. It's basically an internship. It was
(22:05):
full time and this was my first time doing content
creation in a nine to five in a business setting.
I had had another internship before that, but it wasn't
really me creating content.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
It was a lot more just like admin things that
have to do with social media.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
And then I got hired in this job of August
twenty twenty three. That was when I became a full
time creator at the agency, no longer a resident. During
my residency, I got put on to this brand.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Because that's what they do.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
They put the creators onto different brands that they represent
and then you create content for them. I got put
onto this fashion brand's account. I'm not going to say
the name. It's a very well known brand. It's a
purse brand. Mainly if you go on my TikTok, I
promise you'll find out which one it is, but just
for any legal purpose, I'm not going to say which
one it is. And I was put on their account
(22:59):
to make talks, instagrams, shorts, reels, threads, pinterests, like everything
on social media. That was something that this agency specifically
is very into. They want their creators to do it all.
So we are making pieces of content for all these
different platforms of social media. We're also writing copy, we're
(23:22):
also being community managers, we are also filming the content.
So it is a great way to learn everything. And
you know, I think once I got like six months
into it, I sort of knew which things I preferred
over others, and it just, yeah, it became a lot
(23:42):
of work to do all these different things and juggle them. However, though,
that was like what my job was. And then, as
I said, my partner says, in February of twenty twenty four,
I talked about starting, like started talking about wanting to quit,
and then in October I finally quit. So let's get
in to probably the biggest question you want to know is,
(24:02):
like why I quit my job with literally nothing lined
up next. That's a big element to this is that
I stepped away from my job and I literally.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Have nothing lined up.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
And to be quite honest with you, I'm very clueless
on what I want next in in my career because
the things that I really want are things that I'm
just not sure, like right, now financially wise, I can
make work. But we can get all into that stuff
(24:36):
once I explain the why.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
So why I quit.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
I'm going to be super honest here, and I wonder
if any of y'all have experienced this. So when I
took this job, honestly, any job in social media I've
taken postgrad has been to learn to be a better
content creator, to help build my skills so that I
(25:00):
can make my content and my podcast my main streams
of income, so I can make myself in the completely
clueless self brands that I can monetize and live off of.
And so when I took this job, like that was
sort of my intention was, like I'm going to meet
the marks at this job. I'm going to do the
(25:21):
best that I can, but like probably not go above
and beyond because I don't really want to be there
long term or like rise in the ranks of this
like corporate company, but I want to be a part
of it so that I can learn how to grow
social media, how to make the best in class content,
et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
And I will say one.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Of the best parts of working at this specific marketing
agency is I did learn so so much like I
walked away with a lot of tangible skills. I am
such a better like editor because of it. I learned
how to use Premiere like pretty well. And so I'm
(26:06):
walking away with a lot which is which is great
in terms of like being a skillful person. However, as
I continue to progress in my time there, and also
I fortunately had a lot of success with my content
on this brand, a lot of my higher ups were
(26:26):
wanting to push me more, were wanting me to take
more of a leadership role, whereas my brain was in
this like I just kind of want to meet the mark,
like I this is my day job, you know, like
this is my survival job, but it's a bit better
because I have like benefits and I'm probably maybe making
a tiny bit.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
More but not much more money. And so in.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Performance reviews, I started to get some notes about like
my dedication to the job, my accountability, my reliability. People
were sort of questioning, like step.
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Speaker 7 (27:33):
Recently, a new client called me and started by saying,
mister Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just
a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called
him back, and we're now helping him and his family
after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan.
Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of
need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my
(27:55):
grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan.
Our goal is to level the playing field for you
and your family and your time of need. The insurance
company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm
who can fight them toe to toe for right. At
thirty years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America.
Our results speak for themselves. And always remember this, everybody
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is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit for
the people dot com to learn about our firm, Morgan
and Morgan, for the people.
Speaker 8 (28:26):
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office near you.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
You know, where do you stand with this?
Speaker 3 (28:35):
And like sitting in the seat honestly looking back, like
I understand them questioning it, Like you know, usually people
do want to go above and beyond at work because
they want to get promoted in all of these things. However,
as I said at the beginning of this, like that
wasn't my really main goal for coming here.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
My main goal was to learn.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
More about content creation and grow and kind of just
like make ends meet, like to be quite on it,
Like there has been a lot of times in my
life where I have pushed myself so hard to be
the hardest worker with the best work ethic in the room,
especially when I was in theater, Like I just grinded
and grinded and grinded, and I didn't really want to grind,
(29:19):
Like I didn't really want to work super duper hard,
Like I just wanted to.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Do my best.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
And I'm gonna say this right now, and this isn't
any like cockiness towards me, but like I was doing
a good job just off of like you know, giving
them the baseline, Like I was meeting the marks very well,
even though I wasn't like going like above and beyond.
And also like some things I just didn't know or
understand because corporate life was very new to me. I
(29:46):
didn't really understand that you're supposed to like meet with
your higher ups like once a month or have touch
bases with them often.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Like that just wasn't something I knew.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
So if I could go back, like I would have,
I would have probably changed that was and was touching
base with them more. So that when some of this
feedback got dropped on me this summer about like not
being reliable, about people questioning my dedication like et cetera,
et cetera, I didn't feel like as bad about myself.
(30:17):
I definitely think there was a different, like way to
tell me. But yeah, like if I think there was
just a lot about the corporate world and how it
functions that I didn't understand. That also kind of led
to feeling not great in the workplace.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
So there was definitely this.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Lack of passion and fulfillment at work of just feeling
like I don't want to make content for other brands
like in this capacity, Like I don't want to work
a nine to five and make a and make content
for this brand, like I want to be the brand.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
I want to make content for products from my.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
POV because people value my POV and value my influence
and like what I have to say, you know, like
think about your favorite influencer or person on the internet
that you watch, like you are influenced by them because
like there's sort of this like parasocial relationship. You trust them,
you like like their content, and so you buy the
(31:18):
things that they promote, sort of the thing Like that's
sort of like what I wanted for myself in this
So there was definitely this like dissonance in my longer
term goals with the companies, like longer term.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Goals for me.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
And then there was also this added element of money.
And I am going to start off by saying I
was privileged enough to be able to afford to rent
in the city and groceries and my basic needs off
of my salary. I will say that right now, like
(31:54):
I could meet my basic needs. However, that is all
I could meet on that salary. My basic needs. I
didn't open up about this a lot at the time,
because I don't think I even realized it was happening
to me. But I was sort of like house poor
when I lived in the city, especially when I first
got there. I had used a lot of my savings
(32:15):
to move into the apartment to buy furniture for the apartment,
and so once I got there, I didn't have much
money left to spend, and so that caused me to
really coop up in my apartment and not go anywhere.
And I know you may say to yourself, Sarah, there's
a bunch of free things to do in the city,
(32:35):
Like I totally.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
One hundred percent agree with you.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I think because I was so stressed out and overwhelmed,
like I personally just like close into my shell, and
so I stopped going every anywhere and doing anything because
I didn't have much money, and because my rent and
my bills and my basic needs were basically like, we're
(32:57):
all of the money I had, so I didn't really
have the extra money to go out to dinner, to
go out to drinks like etc. Etc. So I definitely
think there was an element of feeling overworked and underpaid
at this job, and I didn't see a future where
I was going to be paid what I thought I deserved.
(33:19):
Very soon, I saw a lot of my peers that
had been there longer than me not getting promotions and raises,
and specifically, these.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
Were a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
And I think that was alarming to me too, is
that I saw more men getting promoted and raised money.
I saw more men getting promotions and raises than I
did see women. And that was hard too, because I
had a lot of female coworkers that were very deserving
(33:49):
of promotions, specifically who had been there for a couple
of years now and still weren't getting them. And I
sort of was looking at them and I was like,
I don't really want that to be me, Like I
don't want to be here for two years still begging
for people to realize my worth, even though I have
(34:11):
had many top performing pieces of content on this page.
Like I got our analytics guy to tell me, like
some of the analytic facts around my pieces of content,
and they were really great, you guys. And I'm not
even just saying that, like I promised, they're really they
were really good, and I was really proud of myself,
(34:32):
and I think there's this part of this piece of
myself that felt like, see, I am giving you my best,
I am giving you a lot, but you're not giving
me anything in return. Like I'm spending all my time
here and I can't even like buy myself clothes, like
or go out to dinner or like, you know, not
(34:52):
feel stressed out. And look, those are luxuries. I know
they are, and that's just how I was feeling. I
was like, what is the like the worth of being
overworked if like you don't get to enjoy someone like
the luxuries of life sometimes, Like I talked about it
with my therapist, I was like, if they were paying
me more and I was able to, you know, meet
(35:15):
all my basic needs and then also like save money,
go to dinner with my partner once a month, go
out with my friends, and not feel stressed once a month.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Like I would have probably stayed.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
But that wasn't the case, and I didn't see a
future very soon or maybe within the next year that
I'm doubinitly not within the next year where I saw
that changing.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
And so.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
I was like and last but not least, I think
the communication within the company was just a bit off
and there were some things that were said to me
over the summer that were sort of like the straw
that broke the camel's back, and they were things that
were just not said in the kindest and most empathetic way,
(36:00):
which the company really does champion.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
They champion being.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Empathetic with one another. And the things that were said
to me just made me feel unsafe. They made me
feel like people were talking about me and that, you know,
things weren't being correctly or directly communicated to me. And
I think when you feel, you know, like people are
talking about you behind your back or you feel unsafe
(36:24):
and untrustworthy in that way, yeah, like it breaks your trust,
it breaks your ability to be the best work you
could be. Literally from the moment that I was having
those conversations in July, like from that point forward, like
I was just angry and frustrated every single day, Like
I would wake up every single day angry about having
(36:47):
to do this job. I was like, why should I
work hard for people, you know, for these people, for
these people who said these things, for these people who
believe XYZ. I don't want to get to into the
nitty gritty just be because again, like I don't want
to get in trouble.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I don't want to break bridges. I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We are all humans doing our best every day. I
get we are all not perfect, and I get that,
you know, things can get miscommunicated or aren't communicated in
the right way. And what was said to me had
an immense effect on me, and I wish I could
have let it go like I was. I wanted to
(37:26):
let it go. I wanted to be like, just let
it go Asera, but I couldn't. It affected my every day.
It affected how I moved and operated in like I said,
it made me angry, and it just made me not
want to be there and to work for these people
because I.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Just felt angry.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And I know that I definitely, like had some wrongs
in the situation, and I think they also did too.
I think the way that it was communicated, in the
timeline it was communicated, there were just.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Some not great things happening there, all right, So.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
The lack of PA passion, the lack of page and fulfillment,
the salary wage stuff, and then you know, the communication
and just like some of like the ways of working
within the company, it was just not aligning with me
and working for me and like I said, I think
once that trust was broken for me, it was very
(38:26):
hard impossible for me to come back from it. And
so as the anger and frustration and just like hurt
feelings built up, my fuse and fuse of tolerating this
job just got like shorter and shorter and shorter. Like
like like I said, I couldn't go one day without
just complaining and feeling so angry. I would come to
(38:48):
my partner all the time and just be so negative
and angry about work and having to work and like
having to do things that like you're expected to do
it your job. But I was just angry and frustrated.
And so I was at dinner with my dad in
October and we were just you know, talking about career
and stuff, and I was saying that I wasn't happy
(39:08):
and unfulfilled.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
And you know, my dad.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Is very like big on career motivation and like just
he says motivational things in general.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
And he said to me, he's like, you are in
your twenties.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
You are only in your twenties once right now, you
have like the least amount of responsibility that you ever
will and so why not take the risk.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
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Speaker 7 (40:02):
Recently, a new client called me and started by saying,
mister Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just
a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called
him back, and we're now helping him and his family
after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan.
Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of
need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my
(40:25):
grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan.
Our goal is to level the playing field for you
and your family at your time of need. The insurance
company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm
who can fight them toe to toe. For right at
thirty years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America.
Our results speak for themselves. And always remember this, everybody
(40:47):
is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit for
the People dot Com to learn about our firm, Morgan
and Morgan. For the people injured.
Speaker 8 (40:56):
Visit for the People dot Com for an office near you.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
So you fail, you fail, and you get up and
you try again, but you're never going to be able
to see if you can make the podcast, your own content,
theater and acting work if you don't take the risk
and try it.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
And I feel like that conversation really led.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
Me to be like, Okay, Sarah, Like you need to
step away from this.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
This isn't making you happy.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
You wake up every single day dreading your life going
to this job, and that isn't a way to live life.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Like, yes, there are.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Definitely things about this job that made me feel good.
It was really freaking cool to say that I was
making content for this big fashion brand and I'm on
their page and like, my content's on their page, my
faces on their page, Like it made me feel very
cool and accomplished.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
On paper.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
I loved telling people that this was my job. But
deep down in so I'd like I wasn't fulfilled and
I wasn't happy. And for a long time, I didn't
quit because of like not wanting to let the accomplishment go.
I wanted to be the girl that was like successful
on paper and was doing like the best and coolest thing.
(42:16):
Like it's almost like Kim Kardashian if you ever watched
that episode uh in the recent season of The Kardashians
where she's like, I just want to do more and
more and I want to do a movie and I
have skims and like I'll lose sleep to be like
the most successful woman. Like there is just a part
of my brain that like loves having accomplished something that
(42:36):
loves success, that loves when people say like, oh, you're
what you're doing is so cool, or you're so successful.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
Or I look up to you.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Like that is just something that like gets me going
a bit, you know, and I wish sometimes it didn't.
It wasn't always like that, and that is like the case,
and so it was hard for me to step away
because I knew that I was going to be stepping
into literally no job, and most likely the next step
was going to be a survival job of sorts. And
(43:03):
there's this part of my brain that like feels that,
you know, working a survival job and then doing all
of this in the like part time or like at night,
like wasn't good enough. And I've and I'm really having
to work through that in this like you know, I'm
probably gonna be working at a grocery store for the
next like two months, and my brain is just like
(43:26):
that's not good enough, that's not good enough, like whatever,
But I need to make money, and like, I just
want to do something where I don't have to give
my creative energy to it, where I can just kind
of like move through the motion, so that I can
give all my energy and power, my power to the
things that I want to happen for myself, so that
(43:47):
hopefully they do and I can turn around and say, hey,
like working that retail or that grocery store job or
a nanny job was worth it because I got to
give my all to this. And honestly, like if I
look back at when Audrey and I started the podcast
and I was nannying time and sure I would need
to make a lot more money than when I was
making Nanning, but like the podcast at that time was
more successful, and I think it was because I got
(44:08):
to pull and Audre got to put so much more
time and effort.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
Into it and just more creative energy.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So after that talk with my dad backtracking, I decided
to quit. I really hope we were able to take
something away from the last thirty minutes. That's the story
on me quitting my job, and it was probably a
bit of a jumbled mess because I think I'm having
trouble like fully processing it all. Like I think I
(44:37):
woke up with so much anxiety yesterday and had so
much anxiety because yesterday, my first day of unemployment, was
when it all really sunk in, like oh shit, like
this is real and now there is a lot of
figuring out to do. And that all makes me very
nervous because it's a lot of me looking at my future,
(44:57):
looking at like, Okay, there are certain financial things that
like I need to make xyz amount of money so
that like I am good, and then how am I
going to make all of this my content and what
not work for myself? I'm giving myself this week to
kind of like kind of take a back seat, but
to be quite honest, I have a lot of admin
(45:18):
things to do for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (45:19):
I'm still trying to get the podcast going, but.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
There's a lot for me to figure out, and we
will be talking about that in future episodes, but for now,
I want to get really quickly to some of the
stuff that I have here for you guys with your
changes that happened in October, because it's just too good
to leave out of this episode. So first we have girl,
I moved across the country. Congratulations to you. That is
(45:45):
an amazing.
Speaker 4 (45:45):
Step, and I bet a very scary one. I feel
like I've never.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Made a big move anywhere because I'm afraid of like
not knowing anybody and not having any friends. So I
applaud you in that big change. This person said, O,
g situation ghosted this October, just like he did literally
a week ago from last year. Oh my god, So
you had a situationship that ghosted you last October and
(46:10):
then did it this October again?
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Oh no, like you gotta let that guy go guy,
girl gay, or they go let them go see you
never again.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
In October.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
This one says definitely internal mindsets my oops English, definitely
internal mindset and gold changes. But making plans to launch
a business in the new year. That is so freaking exciting.
I feel that I feel I feeled your entrepreneurial spirits
because that's how I feel with the podcast right now.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
This person is in a new relationship, which is very exciting.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
It also happens to be one of my best friends, Liz,
so hey girl, Hi, proud of you. This next one says,
partner had a torrible medicine side effect and I had
to start low.
Speaker 4 (46:57):
Oh okay, okay, all right, okay, I'm getting it.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
So your partner had a terrible side effect to a medication,
and then you also had to start a new diet
for your IBS, and you have a new job, and
you had to teach your cat to the vet, and
you're recovering from a hip surgery. Wow, that is a doozy.
I totally get you on the IBS thing. I should
probably be on like the correct diet for people that
(47:23):
have IBS, but I am not, and trust me, I
struggle from it. So I'm wishing you and your hip
and your cat all the best. This one says I'm
leaving my husband. Fucking Scorpio season has me shedding period
period girl.
Speaker 4 (47:39):
Got that snaps for you? Got those snaps.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Okay, I've never been divorced, However I've gone through breakups
and you got to do what is best for you
if this man is not serving your life in the
best way that he can be.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Audios see you.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Never again, Happy for you, wishing you all the best
in this major life change.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
This one says I'm about to launch a new buz.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Oh my gosh, all these entrepreneurial girl is like, we
got to meet up and talk because I need help
and we can exchange tips. Oh my god, I saw
this one. I saw this one when I opened my
phone to look if people were responding, and this one
is insane. So broke up with my boyfriend. It was
amicable and found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
Two weeks later.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
All I have to say is we need to follow
up on this one. I need to know did you
guys get back together? Are you not back together but
you're gonna co parent? Did you keep the baby? Did
you not keep the baby? Maybe that's like not my like,
like not my information to know. But as much as
you're willing to tell, like, please give us a follow up,
because that is one hell of a life change being
a mother Like no, I probably could never.
Speaker 4 (48:48):
No, I do want you one day, Bud crazy, Oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Uh So a lot of you guys also have major
life life changes going on, whether it's moves.
Speaker 4 (49:02):
New businesses, relationships. So truly we proved October theory. Rail
it is real.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Put it in the dictionary, put it in the classrooms
for kids to learn about.
Speaker 4 (49:13):
This is a month of major change.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
And so before I leave, I must tell you all
to give yourself grace. It's a reminder for myself, it's
a reminder for you. We need to give ourselves grace
because we're all going through a lot of major life changes,
and then we also have the election and the holidays,
Like we need to give ourselves grace. So you need
to do what is going to be good for you,
whether that's sitting down and watching gil More Girls. I
(49:37):
know that is what's getting me through right now, is
watching gil More Girls. Like literally that's all I want
to do. And you know what, that's filling my cup
and that's giving me the self care I need. If
it's going on a walk for you, or filling up
on groceries for the week, or going out with your friends,
whatever you need to do to fill your cup and
take care of yourself with all of these major life
changes going on, Please do it. Please give yourself grace
(50:00):
when you are crying at night feeling not good about yourself,
because I know that is what I'm trying to do
right now.
Speaker 4 (50:06):
Trust me, you guys.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Last night I was crying in my bed. I was like, fuck,
what did I do? Did I do the wrong thing?
How am I gonna get through this? How I'm gonna
make money?
Speaker 4 (50:14):
Like da da da da da, the what ifs we're going?
Speaker 3 (50:17):
And my partner reminded me, like Sarah, like it is
day one, today's day one. You need to give your
self grace, Okay, And I want to give that to
you guys as well, that reminder, give yourself grace.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Anyways, this episode has taken.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Many many an hour to record, so I'm happy to
say in this moment right now, that we've reached the end.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the Completely
Clulest podcast. Please please, I could not ask you more
to please, rate, review, subscribe, follow all of the things,
especially right now in this era, I need it all
(50:53):
so much. Please send to your friends, recommend to somebody.
If you have any recommendations to me on how to
make this better, like, send them my way.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
I am all ears. I love you guys. I love
what we have together.
Speaker 3 (51:09):
And you can follow us on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube
at completely clueless pod. I hope you all have a
wonderful Wednesday, a wonderful week, and don't forget to be
motherfucking clueless vale you guys.
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free reputation report card at reputation deefender dot com or
call eight hundred eighty one one forty nine seventy five
to speak to an expert.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Hello, everyone, Welcome back to the Completely Clueless podcast. I
am your host, Sarah Alice Lyddy and let me tell
you I have some tea for you all on this episode.
This episode, I am going to be telling you everything
that is going on in my life. I took a
hiatus last week because I was moving and jorama.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Roll pleasea bah. I quit my job.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I quit my job, many of you guys get right
on my Instagram. I was really thinking I could have
fooled you guys. I was really like, they're gonna come
out of the woodwork with some crazy answers.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
But that was not it. And I'm honestly happy you
guys can read me that well.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That means I'm doing a good job as a host
of this podcast that you all know my next move
before I have even told you, guys, So you got
it right. I quit my job and and things have
totally turned themselves upside down in the past month of
my life, Like where I was at the beginning of
October is not where I am right now, which is
(02:10):
November two.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
It is election day, so there is that in the air.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
There is also just a lot of anxiety on my
part in the air, and so I'm just like putting
that out there for you guys, like I just want
to paint the picture. So yesterday I was in this
exact spot trying to film this episode, and I stopped
and started and stopped and started for two hours. I
(02:35):
was just so in my head. I had also had
a really bad night's sleep. When my anxiety is high,
it tends to take over my sleep, and so I
didn't get a good night's sleep. I was vibrating with
so much anxiety, and then I was trying to film
this episode and I really wanted to push through because
(02:57):
I think for me personally, and I think a lot
of people experience insists when we are at high stress
levels and high anxiety levels, we can kind of like
turn off. I know for me, I tend to just
like kind of dissociate a little bit, like I will
like lay in bed and scroll but not really be
present and just try and avoid everything that is making
(03:20):
me feel stressed out. So yesterday I was really trying
to challenge that, and you know, I did challenge it.
So like applot for applaud for me, I did challenge it.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Okay. I did try.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I got up, I took a shower, I did my
therapy session, and I attempted to make this.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Work for two hours. And then I got to the
boy when I was like, all right, all right, all right,
I literally call my partner.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I was like, cry gousiebe like, I really try to
make this work.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
It will work.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Like I almost felt like I needed to ask permission
from to somebody to tell me like it's okay to
like close close the book for the night, step away
and come back with a fresh head and eyes tomorrow.
And I did need that permission, and I think I
(04:07):
knew deep down. I was like, Sarah, you've been trying,
You've tried your best, Like it's okay to step away.
So if you need permission from somebody to step away
today from something that you've been trying to make work,
or you need permission to give yourself grace and rest,
this is me giving you the permission rest give yourself grace,
especially in this last month. We've all been through so
(04:29):
many life changes this past month, Like we need to
give ourselves grace as we are moving through those changes,
because God, it is a journey a journey a journey. However,
I want to give you, guys, like just the like pulse.
Let's give it a pulse check. That's what they used
to call it at work for me, a pulse check
when we checked in on the team in our lives.
(04:51):
So I'm gonna give you a pulse check on my
life and all the things that have changed in the
last month right now. So let's run the docket.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
One. I'm moved home.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Welcome to my childhood bedroom. I try to do a
little something, something special with my set. This is my
sort and I hope you guys like it. I put
on a fire in the back. It took me a
long time to roast that up, as you can say.
So this is my childhood bedroom. I moved back home,
I think a little bit over a week ago. Now
(05:23):
I live on the third floor of my house and
let me tell you, it's a fucking disaster up here.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
It's a disaster. It's a disaster, and it's driving me crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I'm one of those girls that if my space isn't
clean or at least just like tidy, my mind is
a little bit crazy. And I definitely have been feeling
that the week that I've been here, however, with finishing
up work and everything else going on, Like I was
just like, okay, like I will deal with this at
a later point. But I'm definitely getting to the point
(05:55):
where I'm like, all right, Star, like you need to
prioritize this because it's a affecting you.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
So that is definitely getting done this week.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
When I come back to you guys next week, like
I am going to report that I clean this. And
if I didn't report that, like somebody tell me, like
clean your space, because like I gotta be held accountable
on this one. Another big life change is I decided
to step away from the new therapist that I had
been seeing for.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
The last six months.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I'm not going to give the anybity the anybity gritty details.
I'm not going to give the crazy the crazy. There's
not even crazy details. I'm not going to give the
details on that is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You know, it's my personal journey.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
The therapist just like didn't work out for me, and honestly,
as my old therapist said, because I'm seeing her in
the interim, it's actually the first relationship that I've like
sort of ended in.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
A healthy way.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I really really just wanted to email this therapist like sorry,
this isn't working, like I'm done. So but I actually
told her in person, and it was so freaking uncomfortable.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I will just say I tried to go in with
something I said like my location is the reason why
I wanted to end things, and then I found out
that she had an office in Westchester, and so I
was like eck. So then I was like sort of
telling the truth in the next reason that I gave her.
(07:19):
But ultimately I just felt like she wasn't the right fit.
I didn't know how to say that, but I sort
of said that in my second reason of like wanting
somebody with more experience with LGBTQ clientele. It was awkward,
It was uncomfortable. But the therapist that I have been
seeing for super long and am seeing in the intern
while she helps me find a new therapist said like, Sarah,
(07:41):
you've ended a relationship healthily.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
I was like, oh my god, I'm a superstar, Like
where's my prize? Like I need a sticker.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I successfully broke up with my therapist, like icon queen legend.
So that's a little claps even though it's a life change,
like it's definitely a successful one. I guess now I
need to find a new therapist, which is just like
so much work, but.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
We're gonna get there.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
And I'm starting this podcast all on my own, really
venturing into it by myself. And I think that was
something else that was super difficult about recording yesterday. When
you have somebody else here with you, it's easy to
keep the conversation going and to not get sowing your
head about what you're saying. What are the other people
on the other side going to think? Like I just
(08:26):
didn't think about those things when Audrey was here with
me or any of our guests, And now that I'm
doing this alone, like, it's a lot harder for me
to like keep everything going, to not feel super self
conscious about like what I'm saying, if it's coming out
the right way, if I'm fumbling over my words like
I do.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I fumble over my words all the.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Time, you guys, And it is something that causes me
a lot of like self consciousness. I feel very like
aware of how my words are coming out, if I'm
saying them correctly, if I'm fumbling over them. It's just
like a me thing, And so that's just like another
element in all of this change is that the podcast
(09:07):
is also going through a really big change, so job
location of living, an environment, new therapist, and my business
in ventures and career. Like literally my whole life has changed,
except for like my friendships, my family and my relationship.
Like it's insanity to me, Like I literally can't realize
(09:31):
how I feel because I just feel so many mixed
emotions and I really want to get into it with
you all and be open and honest as much as
I can about everything, because I know, for me, I
go on social media and after like watching content that
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Gives me joy.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I sometimes, especially on Instagram, Like I find myself clicking
out of Instagram more because of how bad it makes
me feel.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
And you know, my therapist.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Actually said, like nobody leaves social media feeling happy or good.
I may have said this on one of the last episodes,
but it's something that's just like really stuck with me,
and I'm really trying to be aware of when I
don't feel good on social media and stepping away from
it or switching to a different app. But lately, I
think with all the changes going on in my life
(10:24):
and feeling insecure about some of those things, and feeling
insecure about where I am in my career, Like I
have just been comparing myself so much to people on
the internet, people I literally do not know, and I'm
trying to be open and honest and vulnerable, but you
see flubbing words. I'm trying to be open, honest and
(10:45):
vulnerable about my experience because I don't want this to
be a space where people want to click away from.
I want people to click in because they know that
a girl is gonna be real with them and that
they can be real with me, and we can be
real together.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
So we're gonna get all into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
And if I can make you feel like you are
not alone in one second of this episode and every episode,
I have done my job.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And please DM me if you've had a.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Moment where you felt like you're not alone in this episode,
in any episode, because I greatly appreciate y'all's feedback, especially
doing this alone, Like I feel like I'm like, what
is the measure of success? How do I know if
people are engaged in whatever? So please DM me. I
would love that, and I love talking to you guys
and getting to know you because it can be lonely
it's just.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Me and my childhood bedroom, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
All right, But before we get into October theory all
the changes happening in my life and your guys's entries,
I have to talk to you guys about a recent
clueless moment that was solved for my old roommate Liz
and I. So shortly after we moved into our apartment,
we started receiving packages well better, Yeah, Liz started receiving
(11:56):
packages address to her at our apartment that were weird
as fuck. And in these packages were usually garbage bags
of some sort. And then there was one time there
was like African soap and tea, and then one time
there were peapads, which Olivia's Bunny Radish uses, so that
was free. That was great, but like just weird packages, right,
(12:19):
And the weirdest thing about it was like obviously Liz
was not ordering these packages for herself, like she was like,
where the fuck are.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
These coming from?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
And then number two that was weird was it was
addressed to her, but it was by her nickname Liz.
Whenever she orders Amazon packages, she orders under her like
full name which is Elizabeth and then her last name
and then the address. But these were coming to Liz
and like our address, and she was like, this is
so weird, Like how would you even like know that.
(12:49):
I go by Liz, like why are these showing up
at our place? And literally they would show up every
couple of months, and we would just be like what
he's going on? Like the first one a ride and
we were like, all right, this this is probably just
a mistake of some sorts. But then the second, and
the third and the fourth came and we were like,
this is so weird. And immediately I go into like
(13:11):
anxiety mode of like, shit, did somebody find out our
address from the commuting videos I make on TikTok, Like
how does somebody know our address? And like I think
you would like ignite some fear every time we would
get a package, but then like.
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Recently, a new client called me and started by saying,
mister Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just
a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called
him back, and we're now helping him and his family
after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan.
Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of
need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my
(14:21):
grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan,
our goal is to level the playing field for you
and your family at your time of need. The insurance
company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm
who can fight them toe to toe for right. At
thirty years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America.
Our results speak for themselves, and always remember this, everybody
(14:44):
is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit for
the People dot com to learn about our firm, Morgan
and Morgan for the People Injured, visit for the people
dot com for an office near.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
You, nothing knock on would thank God ever happy. So
we were sort of just like after a couple of days,
like we would lose like any interest in figuring out
like how these were getting to our place. And Liz
said that she did contact Amazon and they didn't really
have any answers for her either. So we got a
(15:18):
package not like long before I moved out, and I
was like, there's another one out of your creepy packages game,
and she was like, oh my god, like I'm like scared,
like what is going odd?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Like what are we gonna do about this?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
And so not long after, I either think it was
that same day or the next, Liz gets a message
from one of her like regional marketers and it's like, hey,
are you getting Amazon packages like to your place that
you didn't order? And she was like yes, like I've
been receiving these like weird packages. She didn't use the
word weird, but like I've been receiving these packages that
(15:55):
I've never got for myself.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
And so mystery solved.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
It was Liz's regional marketer that was sending these packages
to our place. Liz had used her account to get
something for work that they all needed, and like the
subscriptions for Amazon that this regional marketer was ordering were
going to our place, like for some reason that address
was ticked off and not her own. So I am
(16:22):
just so happy this wasn't a creepy person sending us
better Yet Liz weird things like Honestly, after we got
the last one, I was like, is somebody trying to
tell us that we're garbage or that your garbage, or
like that they want to pee on us because like
peapads and then watch it off with the African soap
Like I was like, what is this mystery?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Like I just like could not believe it.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
But ultimately Liz doesn't have a stalker, and I'm so
happy for that. Like this was an interesting saga for
us to go through and now it's over and I'm
happy that this is no longer a clueless moment for
her or for I. I mean, sure I moved out,
but like you could tell every time a package Gameless
was like, what the fuck is going on? So Amazon
(17:09):
package saga is completely clueless cleared, Lol, completely clueless cleared
if you guys have had any recent clueless moments, I'm
gonna put up a little toggle on the Instagram which
is at completely Clueless Pod this week for y'all to
share your stories too, because I definitely want to start
including your clueless moments more or clueless clear ups, which
(17:30):
is kind of like I just explained like a resolve
moment to a clueless moment, and we can chat about them.
I love clueless moments. I've had so many silly ones recently,
Like I didn't know that you could put other coins
besides quarters into meters, Like I thought you could only
put quarters into meters and that is not true.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
My partner was like Sarah, like are.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You okay, Like you can put any type of quarter
into a meter, and like I sincerely had no idea
yeah about that. So I have like stupid little clueless
moments like that all the time. That just makes me
question my abilities is worsen, But you know, it's that's
(18:12):
just life. We all learn things at different points, So
please feel free to share, and I will put up
that toggle this week so we can all be clueless together.
But for now, we need to get into the realty,
Like I need to stop stalling and beating around the
bush and just dive headfirst into it. I'm honestly nervous
(18:32):
to talk about this, and I want to like be
as open as I can while also like obviously protecting
myself and like any contracts that I sign. So let's
just get into me quitting my job and flipping my
life upside down. And the first thing that we're gonna
do to talk about this is talk about October theory.
(18:54):
So I didn't know what octoger theory was until this year,
and as somebody was like a social media content creator
strategist full time, like, I saw this October theory arise
on TikTok and I was like, great, Like what piece
of content can I make around this? Or like this
would be a great trend for us to play into.
But then I've taken a step back and I've realized, like,
(19:17):
oh my god, like I've gone through October theory, Like
October theory has theorized on my life and so many
of y'all's LIFs that I had to dig deeper into
it and really prove with my shit and your shit.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That this is real.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
So I looked up some things online because in my mind.
I like know what it is, but I wanted to
be able to verbalize it to you all in the
correct way. So I looked up this Batch's article. I
think that's how you say that company's name. It's like bitches,
but I it's like with an.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Ease on, like badges, badges. I think that's how you
say it.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I looked up this Batch's article and it had some
really great quotes on like what really October theory is.
So they said, October theory becomes the month of big changes,
major life decisions, and personal growth because October is like
a second New Year's It's the time when people collectively collectively.
(20:13):
It's the time when people collectively say, oh shit, there's
only a few months left before the new year, and
I haven't done any of the goals I set for
myself at the new year. Additionally, there is this feeling
that time is moving really quickly, like I know what
happens for me. It's like Halloween is over and before
you blink, it's already the new year. So time is
moving on like two time speed. I will also link
(20:36):
this article in the bio if you want any more
of like a definition explanation on what.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
October theory is.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
But I just wanted to lay that groundwork because I
really feel like it all explains, like why all this
happened in this month, and honestly, like I wasn't even
thinking about it, but it just happened.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
So let's get into it. I promise I'm going to
dive into it. I'm just nervous and.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I don't know how to get my thoughts like a
completely one hundred percent straight on it. So please do
your best to stick with me as I bounce from
all the reasons why I quit my job.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
But yes, I quit my job.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Today is actually my second day of fun employment hashtag unemployment.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
That's what people call it these days, is fun employment.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
I think it should be called stress employment because that
is what it is. But it is by second day
of unemployment, I decided, I want to say, like October tenth,
to quit my job.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
It had been a long time coming.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Actually, my partner told me that I have been mentioning
wanting to quit this job since February of twenty twenty four,
which is absolutely crazy to me. And let's just do
a quick little recap of my timeline with this job,
especially for those who are new here. So I started
working at this marketing agency in June twenty twenty three
as a creator resident. It's basically an internship. It was
(22:05):
full time and this was my first time doing content
creation in a nine to five in a business setting.
I had had another internship before that, but it wasn't
really me creating content.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
It was a lot more just like admin things that
have to do with social media.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
And then I got hired in this job of August
twenty twenty three. That was when I became a full
time creator at the agency, no longer a resident. During
my residency, I got put on to this brand.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Because that's what they do.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
They put the creators onto different brands that they represent
and then you create content for them. I got put
onto this fashion brand's account. I'm not going to say
the name. It's a very well known brand. It's a
purse brand. Mainly if you go on my TikTok, I
promise you'll find out which one it is, but just
for any legal purpose, I'm not going to say which
one it is. And I was put on their account
(22:59):
to make talks, instagrams, shorts, reels, threads, pinterests, like everything
on social media. That was something that this agency specifically
is very into. They want their creators to do it all.
So we are making pieces of content for all these
different platforms of social media. We're also writing copy, we're
(23:22):
also being community managers, we are also filming the content.
So it is a great way to learn everything. And
you know, I think once I got like six months
into it, I sort of knew which things I preferred
over others, and it just, yeah, it became a lot
(23:42):
of work to do all these different things and juggle them. However, though,
that was like what my job was. And then, as
I said, my partner says, in February of twenty twenty four,
I talked about starting, like started talking about wanting to quit,
and then in October I finally quit. So let's get
in to probably the biggest question you want to know is,
(24:02):
like why I quit my job with literally nothing lined
up next. That's a big element to this is that
I stepped away from my job and I literally.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Have nothing lined up.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
And to be quite honest with you, I'm very clueless
on what I want next in in my career because
the things that I really want are things that I'm
just not sure, like right, now financially wise, I can
make work. But we can get all into that stuff
(24:36):
once I explain the why.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
So why I quit.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
I'm going to be super honest here, and I wonder
if any of y'all have experienced this. So when I
took this job, honestly, any job in social media I've
taken postgrad has been to learn to be a better
content creator, to help build my skills so that I
(25:00):
can make my content and my podcast my main streams
of income, so I can make myself in the completely
clueless self brands that I can monetize and live off of.
And so when I took this job, like that was
sort of my intention was, like I'm going to meet
the marks at this job. I'm going to do the
(25:21):
best that I can, but like probably not go above
and beyond because I don't really want to be there
long term or like rise in the ranks of this
like corporate company, but I want to be a part
of it so that I can learn how to grow
social media, how to make the best in class content,
et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
And I will say one.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Of the best parts of working at this specific marketing
agency is I did learn so so much like I
walked away with a lot of tangible skills. I am
such a better like editor because of it. I learned
how to use Premiere like pretty well. And so I'm
(26:06):
walking away with a lot which is which is great
in terms of like being a skillful person. However, as
I continue to progress in my time there, and also
I fortunately had a lot of success with my content
on this brand, a lot of my higher ups were
(26:26):
wanting to push me more, were wanting me to take
more of a leadership role, whereas my brain was in
this like I just kind of want to meet the mark,
like I this is my day job, you know, like
this is my survival job, but it's a bit better
because I have like benefits and I'm probably maybe making
a tiny bit.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
More but not much more money. And so in.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Performance reviews, I started to get some notes about like
my dedication to the job, my accountability, my reliability. People
were sort of questioning, like step.
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Recently, a new client called me and started by saying,
mister Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just
a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called
him back, and we're now helping him and his family
after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan.
Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of
need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my
(27:55):
grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan.
Our goal is to level the playing field for you
and your family and your time of need. The insurance
company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm
who can fight them toe to toe for right. At
thirty years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America.
Our results speak for themselves. And always remember this, everybody
(28:18):
is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit for
the people dot com to learn about our firm, Morgan
and Morgan, for the people.
Speaker 8 (28:26):
In your visit for the people dot Com for an
office near you.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
You know, where do you stand with this?
Speaker 3 (28:35):
And like sitting in the seat honestly looking back, like
I understand them questioning it, Like you know, usually people
do want to go above and beyond at work because
they want to get promoted in all of these things. However,
as I said at the beginning of this, like that
wasn't my really main goal for coming here.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
My main goal was to learn.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
More about content creation and grow and kind of just
like make ends meet, like to be quite on it,
Like there has been a lot of times in my
life where I have pushed myself so hard to be
the hardest worker with the best work ethic in the room,
especially when I was in theater, Like I just grinded
and grinded and grinded, and I didn't really want to grind,
(29:19):
Like I didn't really want to work super duper hard,
Like I just wanted to.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Do my best.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
And I'm gonna say this right now, and this isn't
any like cockiness towards me, but like I was doing
a good job just off of like you know, giving
them the baseline, Like I was meeting the marks very well,
even though I wasn't like going like above and beyond.
And also like some things I just didn't know or
understand because corporate life was very new to me. I
(29:46):
didn't really understand that you're supposed to like meet with
your higher ups like once a month or have touch
bases with them often.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Like that just wasn't something I knew.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
So if I could go back, like I would have,
I would have probably changed that was and was touching
base with them more. So that when some of this
feedback got dropped on me this summer about like not
being reliable, about people questioning my dedication like et cetera,
et cetera, I didn't feel like as bad about myself.
(30:17):
I definitely think there was a different, like way to
tell me. But yeah, like if I think there was
just a lot about the corporate world and how it
functions that I didn't understand. That also kind of led
to feeling not great in the workplace.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
So there was definitely this.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Lack of passion and fulfillment at work of just feeling
like I don't want to make content for other brands
like in this capacity, Like I don't want to work
a nine to five and make a and make content
for this brand, like I want to be the brand.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
I want to make content for products from my.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
POV because people value my POV and value my influence
and like what I have to say, you know, like
think about your favorite influencer or person on the internet
that you watch, like you are influenced by them because
like there's sort of this like parasocial relationship. You trust them,
you like like their content, and so you buy the
(31:18):
things that they promote, sort of the thing Like that's
sort of like what I wanted for myself in this
So there was definitely this like dissonance in my longer
term goals with the companies, like longer term.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Goals for me.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
And then there was also this added element of money.
And I am going to start off by saying I
was privileged enough to be able to afford to rent
in the city and groceries and my basic needs off
of my salary. I will say that right now, like
(31:54):
I could meet my basic needs. However, that is all
I could meet on that salary. My basic needs. I
didn't open up about this a lot at the time,
because I don't think I even realized it was happening
to me. But I was sort of like house poor
when I lived in the city, especially when I first
got there. I had used a lot of my savings
(32:15):
to move into the apartment to buy furniture for the apartment,
and so once I got there, I didn't have much
money left to spend, and so that caused me to
really coop up in my apartment and not go anywhere.
And I know you may say to yourself, Sarah, there's
a bunch of free things to do in the city,
(32:35):
Like I totally.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
One hundred percent agree with you.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I think because I was so stressed out and overwhelmed,
like I personally just like close into my shell, and
so I stopped going every anywhere and doing anything because
I didn't have much money, and because my rent and
my bills and my basic needs were basically like, we're
(32:57):
all of the money I had, so I didn't really
have the extra money to go out to dinner, to
go out to drinks like etc. Etc. So I definitely
think there was an element of feeling overworked and underpaid
at this job, and I didn't see a future where
I was going to be paid what I thought I deserved.
(33:19):
Very soon, I saw a lot of my peers that
had been there longer than me not getting promotions and raises,
and specifically, these.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
Were a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
And I think that was alarming to me too, is
that I saw more men getting promoted and raised money.
I saw more men getting promotions and raises than I
did see women. And that was hard too, because I
had a lot of female coworkers that were very deserving
(33:49):
of promotions, specifically who had been there for a couple
of years now and still weren't getting them. And I
sort of was looking at them and I was like,
I don't really want that to be me, Like I
don't want to be here for two years still begging
for people to realize my worth, even though I have
(34:11):
had many top performing pieces of content on this page.
Like I got our analytics guy to tell me, like
some of the analytic facts around my pieces of content,
and they were really great, you guys. And I'm not
even just saying that, like I promised, they're really they
were really good, and I was really proud of myself,
(34:32):
and I think there's this part of this piece of
myself that felt like, see, I am giving you my best,
I am giving you a lot, but you're not giving
me anything in return. Like I'm spending all my time
here and I can't even like buy myself clothes, like
or go out to dinner or like, you know, not
(34:52):
feel stressed out. And look, those are luxuries. I know
they are, and that's just how I was feeling. I
was like, what is the like the worth of being
overworked if like you don't get to enjoy someone like
the luxuries of life sometimes, Like I talked about it
with my therapist, I was like, if they were paying
me more and I was able to, you know, meet
(35:15):
all my basic needs and then also like save money,
go to dinner with my partner once a month, go
out with my friends, and not feel stressed once a month.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Like I would have probably stayed.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
But that wasn't the case, and I didn't see a
future very soon or maybe within the next year that
I'm doubinitly not within the next year where I saw
that changing.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
And so.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
I was like and last but not least, I think
the communication within the company was just a bit off
and there were some things that were said to me
over the summer that were sort of like the straw
that broke the camel's back, and they were things that
were just not said in the kindest and most empathetic way,
(36:00):
which the company really does champion.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
They champion being.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Empathetic with one another. And the things that were said
to me just made me feel unsafe. They made me
feel like people were talking about me and that, you know,
things weren't being correctly or directly communicated to me. And
I think when you feel, you know, like people are
talking about you behind your back or you feel unsafe
(36:24):
and untrustworthy in that way, yeah, like it breaks your trust,
it breaks your ability to be the best work you
could be. Literally from the moment that I was having
those conversations in July, like from that point forward, like
I was just angry and frustrated every single day, Like
I would wake up every single day angry about having
(36:47):
to do this job. I was like, why should I
work hard for people, you know, for these people, for
these people who said these things, for these people who
believe XYZ. I don't want to get to into the
nitty gritty just be because again, like I don't want
to get in trouble.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I don't want to break bridges. I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We are all humans doing our best every day. I
get we are all not perfect, and I get that,
you know, things can get miscommunicated or aren't communicated in
the right way. And what was said to me had
an immense effect on me, and I wish I could
have let it go like I was. I wanted to
(37:26):
let it go. I wanted to be like, just let
it go Asera, but I couldn't. It affected my every day.
It affected how I moved and operated in like I said,
it made me angry, and it just made me not
want to be there and to work for these people
because I.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Just felt angry.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And I know that I definitely, like had some wrongs
in the situation, and I think they also did too.
I think the way that it was communicated, in the
timeline it was communicated, there were just.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Some not great things happening there, all right, So.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
The lack of PA passion, the lack of page and fulfillment,
the salary wage stuff, and then you know, the communication
and just like some of like the ways of working
within the company, it was just not aligning with me
and working for me and like I said, I think
once that trust was broken for me, it was very
(38:26):
hard impossible for me to come back from it. And
so as the anger and frustration and just like hurt
feelings built up, my fuse and fuse of tolerating this
job just got like shorter and shorter and shorter. Like
like like I said, I couldn't go one day without
just complaining and feeling so angry. I would come to
(38:48):
my partner all the time and just be so negative
and angry about work and having to work and like
having to do things that like you're expected to do
it your job. But I was just angry and frustrated.
And so I was at dinner with my dad in
October and we were just you know, talking about career
and stuff, and I was saying that I wasn't happy
(39:08):
and unfulfilled.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
And you know, my dad.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Is very like big on career motivation and like just
he says motivational things in general.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
And he said to me, he's like, you are in
your twenties.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
You are only in your twenties once right now, you
have like the least amount of responsibility that you ever
will and so why not take the risk.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Like, hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. Life comes at you fast,
which is why it's important to find some time to
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Speaker 7 (40:02):
Recently, a new client called me and started by saying,
mister Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just
a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called
him back, and we're now helping him and his family
after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan.
Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of
need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my
(40:25):
grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan.
Our goal is to level the playing field for you
and your family at your time of need. The insurance
company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm
who can fight them toe to toe. For right at
thirty years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America.
Our results speak for themselves. And always remember this, everybody
(40:47):
is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit for
the People dot Com to learn about our firm, Morgan
and Morgan. For the people injured.
Speaker 8 (40:56):
Visit for the People dot Com for an office near you.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
So you fail, you fail, and you get up and
you try again, but you're never going to be able
to see if you can make the podcast, your own content,
theater and acting work if you don't take the risk
and try it.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
And I feel like that conversation really led.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
Me to be like, Okay, Sarah, Like you need to
step away from this.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
This isn't making you happy.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
You wake up every single day dreading your life going
to this job, and that isn't a way to live life.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Like, yes, there are.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Definitely things about this job that made me feel good.
It was really freaking cool to say that I was
making content for this big fashion brand and I'm on
their page and like, my content's on their page, my
faces on their page, Like it made me feel very
cool and accomplished.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
On paper.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
I loved telling people that this was my job. But
deep down in so I'd like I wasn't fulfilled and
I wasn't happy. And for a long time, I didn't
quit because of like not wanting to let the accomplishment go.
I wanted to be the girl that was like successful
on paper and was doing like the best and coolest thing.
(42:16):
Like it's almost like Kim Kardashian if you ever watched
that episode uh in the recent season of The Kardashians
where she's like, I just want to do more and
more and I want to do a movie and I
have skims and like I'll lose sleep to be like
the most successful woman. Like there is just a part
of my brain that like loves having accomplished something that
(42:36):
loves success, that loves when people say like, oh, you're
what you're doing is so cool, or you're so successful.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
Or I look up to you.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Like that is just something that like gets me going
a bit, you know, and I wish sometimes it didn't.
It wasn't always like that, and that is like the case,
and so it was hard for me to step away
because I knew that I was going to be stepping
into literally no job, and most likely the next step
was going to be a survival job of sorts. And
(43:03):
there's this part of my brain that like feels that,
you know, working a survival job and then doing all
of this in the like part time or like at night,
like wasn't good enough. And I've and I'm really having
to work through that in this like you know, I'm
probably gonna be working at a grocery store for the
next like two months, and my brain is just like
(43:26):
that's not good enough, that's not good enough, like whatever,
But I need to make money, and like, I just
want to do something where I don't have to give
my creative energy to it, where I can just kind
of like move through the motion, so that I can
give all my energy and power, my power to the
things that I want to happen for myself, so that
(43:47):
hopefully they do and I can turn around and say, hey,
like working that retail or that grocery store job or
a nanny job was worth it because I got to
give my all to this. And honestly, like if I
look back at when Audrey and I started the podcast
and I was nannying time and sure I would need
to make a lot more money than when I was
making Nanning, but like the podcast at that time was
more successful, and I think it was because I got
(44:08):
to pull and Audre got to put so much more
time and effort.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
Into it and just more creative energy.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So after that talk with my dad backtracking, I decided
to quit. I really hope we were able to take
something away from the last thirty minutes. That's the story
on me quitting my job, and it was probably a
bit of a jumbled mess because I think I'm having
trouble like fully processing it all. Like I think I
(44:37):
woke up with so much anxiety yesterday and had so
much anxiety because yesterday, my first day of unemployment, was
when it all really sunk in, like oh shit, like
this is real and now there is a lot of
figuring out to do. And that all makes me very
nervous because it's a lot of me looking at my future,
(44:57):
looking at like, Okay, there are certain financial things that
like I need to make xyz amount of money so
that like I am good, and then how am I
going to make all of this my content and what
not work for myself? I'm giving myself this week to
kind of like kind of take a back seat, but
to be quite honest, I have a lot of admin
(45:18):
things to do for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (45:19):
I'm still trying to get the podcast going, but.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
There's a lot for me to figure out, and we
will be talking about that in future episodes, but for now,
I want to get really quickly to some of the
stuff that I have here for you guys with your
changes that happened in October, because it's just too good
to leave out of this episode. So first we have girl,
I moved across the country. Congratulations to you. That is
(45:45):
an amazing.
Speaker 4 (45:45):
Step, and I bet a very scary one. I feel
like I've never.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Made a big move anywhere because I'm afraid of like
not knowing anybody and not having any friends. So I
applaud you in that big change. This person said, O,
g situation ghosted this October, just like he did literally
a week ago from last year. Oh my god, So
you had a situationship that ghosted you last October and
(46:10):
then did it this October again?
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Oh no, like you gotta let that guy go guy,
girl gay, or they go let them go see you
never again.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
In October.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
This one says definitely internal mindsets my oops English, definitely
internal mindset and gold changes. But making plans to launch
a business in the new year. That is so freaking exciting.
I feel that I feel I feeled your entrepreneurial spirits
because that's how I feel with the podcast right now.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
This person is in a new relationship, which is very exciting.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
It also happens to be one of my best friends, Liz,
so hey girl, Hi, proud of you. This next one says,
partner had a torrible medicine side effect and I had
to start low.
Speaker 4 (46:57):
Oh okay, okay, all right, okay, I'm getting it.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
So your partner had a terrible side effect to a medication,
and then you also had to start a new diet
for your IBS, and you have a new job, and
you had to teach your cat to the vet, and
you're recovering from a hip surgery. Wow, that is a doozy.
I totally get you on the IBS thing. I should
probably be on like the correct diet for people that
(47:23):
have IBS, but I am not, and trust me, I
struggle from it. So I'm wishing you and your hip
and your cat all the best. This one says I'm
leaving my husband. Fucking Scorpio season has me shedding period
period girl.
Speaker 4 (47:39):
Got that snaps for you? Got those snaps.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Okay, I've never been divorced, However I've gone through breakups
and you got to do what is best for you
if this man is not serving your life in the
best way that he can be.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Audios see you.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Never again, Happy for you, wishing you all the best
in this major life change.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
This one says I'm about to launch a new buz.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Oh my gosh, all these entrepreneurial girl is like, we
got to meet up and talk because I need help
and we can exchange tips. Oh my god, I saw
this one. I saw this one when I opened my
phone to look if people were responding, and this one
is insane. So broke up with my boyfriend. It was
amicable and found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
Two weeks later.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
All I have to say is we need to follow
up on this one. I need to know did you
guys get back together? Are you not back together but
you're gonna co parent? Did you keep the baby? Did
you not keep the baby? Maybe that's like not my like,
like not my information to know. But as much as
you're willing to tell, like, please give us a follow up,
because that is one hell of a life change being
a mother Like no, I probably could never.
Speaker 4 (48:48):
No, I do want you one day, Bud crazy, Oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Uh So a lot of you guys also have major
life life changes going on, whether it's moves.
Speaker 4 (49:02):
New businesses, relationships. So truly we proved October theory. Rail
it is real.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Put it in the dictionary, put it in the classrooms
for kids to learn about.
Speaker 4 (49:13):
This is a month of major change.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
And so before I leave, I must tell you all
to give yourself grace. It's a reminder for myself, it's
a reminder for you. We need to give ourselves grace
because we're all going through a lot of major life changes,
and then we also have the election and the holidays,
Like we need to give ourselves grace. So you need
to do what is going to be good for you,
whether that's sitting down and watching gil More Girls. I
(49:37):
know that is what's getting me through right now, is
watching gil More Girls. Like literally that's all I want
to do. And you know what, that's filling my cup
and that's giving me the self care I need. If
it's going on a walk for you, or filling up
on groceries for the week, or going out with your friends,
whatever you need to do to fill your cup and
take care of yourself with all of these major life
changes going on, Please do it. Please give yourself grace
(50:00):
when you are crying at night feeling not good about yourself,
because I know that is what I'm trying to do
right now.
Speaker 4 (50:06):
Trust me, you guys.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Last night I was crying in my bed. I was like, fuck,
what did I do? Did I do the wrong thing?
How am I gonna get through this? How I'm gonna
make money?
Speaker 4 (50:14):
Like da da da da da, the what ifs we're going?
Speaker 3 (50:17):
And my partner reminded me, like Sarah, like it is
day one, today's day one. You need to give your
self grace, Okay, And I want to give that to
you guys as well, that reminder, give yourself grace.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Anyways, this episode has taken.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Many many an hour to record, so I'm happy to
say in this moment right now, that we've reached the end.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the Completely
Clulest podcast. Please please, I could not ask you more
to please, rate, review, subscribe, follow all of the things,
especially right now in this era, I need it all
(50:53):
so much. Please send to your friends, recommend to somebody.
If you have any recommendations to me on how to
make this better, like, send them my way.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
I am all ears. I love you guys. I love
what we have together.
Speaker 3 (51:09):
And you can follow us on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube
at completely clueless pod. I hope you all have a
wonderful Wednesday, a wonderful week, and don't forget to be
motherfucking clueless vale you guys.
Speaker 1 (51:30):
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