November 26, 2024 • 57 mins
What happens when a lifelong theatre kid walks out of the Wicked movie without feeling like her life has been "changed for good"? In this episode of The Completely Clueless Podcast, I’m sharing my honest (and maybe a little controversial) review of the highly anticipated Wicked movie—and why it left me feeling... conflicted.
But that’s not all—we’re also getting real about the tougher stuff. I open up about my recent struggles with social anxiety, feeling disconnected, and the loneliness that’s been creeping in lately. As someone who’s finding it hard to make new friends post-grad, I’ve been questioning if I’m falling behind—and I can’t keep these feelings bottled up anymore.
For my reality TV lovers, don’t worry—I’ve got something lighter for you! I’m diving into the new season of Love Island Australia (now streaming on Hulu), and let me tell you, I am OBSESSED. I’m spilling all my thoughts on the drama, love triangles, and everything in between.
Grab your comfiest PJs, slap on a pimple patch (if needed), and join me for a cozy chat about pop culture, personal growth, and all the clueless moments that come with being a twentysomething.
Make sure to follow The Completely Clueless Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @completelycluelesspod 💖
And for more of my personal adventures, follow me @sarahaliceliddy!
But that’s not all—we’re also getting real about the tougher stuff. I open up about my recent struggles with social anxiety, feeling disconnected, and the loneliness that’s been creeping in lately. As someone who’s finding it hard to make new friends post-grad, I’ve been questioning if I’m falling behind—and I can’t keep these feelings bottled up anymore.
For my reality TV lovers, don’t worry—I’ve got something lighter for you! I’m diving into the new season of Love Island Australia (now streaming on Hulu), and let me tell you, I am OBSESSED. I’m spilling all my thoughts on the drama, love triangles, and everything in between.
Grab your comfiest PJs, slap on a pimple patch (if needed), and join me for a cozy chat about pop culture, personal growth, and all the clueless moments that come with being a twentysomething.
Make sure to follow The Completely Clueless Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @completelycluelesspod 💖
And for more of my personal adventures, follow me @sarahaliceliddy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, my Clueless queens.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome back to the Completely Clueless Podcast. I am your host,
Sarah Alice Lyddy, and let me address the elephant in
the room. For those not viewing giving you the visual,
I am in my Skins pajamas. I feel like I've
been talking about pajamas so much on the podcast lately,
and being in cozies and comfy's is truly the era
(00:32):
I'm in in life. Because I'm not going to a
job right now, I am just constantly in my cozys.
So I wanted to be my most authentic self with
you guys. So I threw on my favorite pair of
Skins pajamas, and they have these cute cherries on them.
I'm obsessed. I also have a pimple patch under my nose.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to
see it from the screen because I'm a bit too
(00:53):
far to like see the details, but you know, just
wanted to address it just in case and normalize pimple patches,
like I mean, I feel like that's already so normal.
So many people wear their pimple patches all the time.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I know I do.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
However, I just could not get on screen with a huge,
bright red ZiT under my nose like this morning, Oh
my god, when I woke up. You guys, you know
when you wake up to eight like fat juicy pimple,
That was me this morning with this one under my
nose and oh my god, you know when it like
hurts to touch. Oh, it was hurting so badly. But
(01:28):
you know what, took a deep breath and popped that sucker.
So the white head is out. But now I just
need my clean skin club pimple patch to you know,
just take all the rest the gross shit out of that.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
So that's where we're at.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It's also a Sunday. I'm running a bit behind per usual.
I've just noticed that I'm one of those girlies. If
you give me an infinite amount of time, like I
will just take my time to the nth degree.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I take my time far, far too much. Literally.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
On Friday, I recorded what I thought was going to
be this episode. However, something that I'm learning in my
solo podcast or era is that sometimes it can be
very hard for me to record these episodes, like think
about it. You are literally I'm in my childhood bedroom
talking to myself.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
To a camera.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I've been trying to like visualize your guys' energy here,
Like I've gotten to know some of you over DM,
so I try and like visualize your faces conversations.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
That we had.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's very like woo woo actor of me. But like
I gotta put my BFA training to work, am I right?
So that's sometimes how I can get myself there. However, Friday,
like I was just one of those recordings where I
was stopping and starting and stopping and starting and judging
everything that I was saying, Like we're gonna get into
the Wicked movie later in this episode, and I have
(02:53):
some interesting opinions. I have opinions that not everybody else
on the internet is having, And like I was just
so an able to get through my thoughts because I
was like, I'm gonna lose my audience. I'm gonna lose
my audience. You are all gonna hate me because I
did not have this life changing reaction to Wicked. However,
I took a step back. It was like, oh my god, girl,
like that anxiety disorder of yours, she's really acting up
(03:16):
right now. And so I wanted to try this episode again,
approach it from a fresh new mind approach. It with
some new things, and I think we're gonna be good.
Oh but here was the point. See, I'm taking up
my sweet tan. See, I'm taking up my sweet goddamn
time on this story too. Back to the point is, yes,
(03:36):
I do take my time like into nobody's business. Like,
let's say I have three hours to get ready. I
will be scra I will be late to the function,
and I will be scrambling. Like I have plenty of
time to get myself ready in three hours, right, but
I'll probably spend the first hour and a half dilly
dallying on my phone or watching the show that I'm
currently watching instead of getting ready. And then by the
(03:59):
time I'm geting ready, I take like literally twenty minutes
on my eyebrows because, fun fact, my eyebrows are actually
my biggest insecurity. When I was younger, I think I've
told the story before I razored them, and now there's
just a lot of blank spots in my eyebrows. So
my eyebrows take me a very long time to fill
in because I'm very specific about them. I want them
(04:20):
to look a certain way, and like, eyebrows should not
take twenty minutes to fill in, but they do, they
do for me anyways, I will literally just take my
goddamn sweet time if I have the time, and then
I'm rushing, always rushing. My makeup is never finished, always
doing the mescara on the train, in the car, literally walking,
(04:41):
or sometimes at the function because I wasn't ready, always
arriving late. And this story started with me being late
on Friday when I went out for the first time
in such a long time, you guys, like I was.
I've been in my homebody Grandma era for the past
(05:02):
like ten or eleven months, like I've just really slowed
down on going out in like a party way, and
so usually once or twice a month I will go
out and go balls to the walls and have a
crazy night. But your girl was running so late because
I was trying to record this podcast, didn't wrap that
(05:22):
until like seven o'clock. Still needed to shower, eat, and
do my makeup. I ended up showing up to the
function that started at nine point thirty at ten forty.
Because I also don't live in the city now, and
so I have to take that into account in my
travel time as well, which can be just kind of frustrating.
(05:43):
I ended up having to like spend money on a
lift because like I would have to have waited later
to leave for a train time, so it was a
whole thing. However, even though I was late, I ended
up having such a great night out. I got there
so late that I ended up out until four I
am in the morning, Like, who the fuck is she?
I cannot believe I did that? But we went to
(06:06):
a karaoke bar and just had a grand old time
and I had like four or five drinks, and for me,
that will do it, like in my new era, and
was just being silly, goofy twenty six year old with
my friends. So even though I'm definitely in a different era,
not party girl era of my life, like I pull
(06:28):
her out every every so and so once a month.
I forget how I even got on this subject. But
we're gonna pivot into talking about like Thanksgiving Eve, because
I don't know about y'all, but this is my first
year not doing Thanksgiving Eve, so I'm assuming that most
(06:48):
people listening to this will know what Thanksgiving Eve is.
It's currently the Sunday before Thanksgiving, so holidays are on
the brain for me, as I'm assuming they are for
you guys. As well, And for those who don't know
what Thanksgiving Eve is is in the States, like a
lot of hometowns, when you go home for the Thanksgiving
holiday the night before Thanksgiving the Wednesday, usually everybody will
(07:13):
go down to their like local dive bar or bar
in their town and you see everybody from high school
and like you catch up and like whatever. I don't
know how this tradition got started, but everybody I know
like attends Thanksgiving Eve, and oh god, Thanksgiving Eve is
(07:33):
uniquely unique. It's a unique type of social anxiety that
I know I experienced from the holiday when I was
in college. It was so much more of like a
party night, you know, like getting drunk drunk, and like,
let's be real, you run into old friends, you run
(07:55):
into ex'es, you run into old flings and hookups and situationships,
and like that's a lot of anxiety to put on
yourself the night before a holiday that you're gonna spend
with your family. And then you add alcohol to the mix,
like what is this freaking holiday? And every year it
would come around, and every year I would get so
anxious for it, right because you're seeing all these people again,
(08:20):
the alcohol is there and I don't know, like I
just like wasn't able to sink in and enjoy it
and be like, oh, it's so great to see you
and just not care. You know, I have anxiety, duh,
So my thoughts are spinning and spiraling and whatever. So
I would say the ones before the pandemic for me,
(08:40):
because I was younger, were very wild and crazy, and
then post pandemic, you know, things have slowed down a bit.
And when my friends and I went to Thanksgiving Eve
last year, I was like, this is definitely my last one, Like,
I don't want to do this again. I don't want
to spend the night before Thanksgiving feeling anxious about who
I'm going to see, what we're gonna talk about. Am
(09:01):
I gonna drink too much in front of these people?
Am I gonna divulge something that I don't want to divulge?
And I'm done with it. This year, one of my
high school friends texted in our group chat and she
was like, have we aged out of Thanksgiving Eve? And
we all wrote back apps a fucking lutely like we
are done.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
This is over.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was a great run and I really hope that
my high school friends and I though, will continue to
like see each other around the holidays because it is
such a great time to just like catch up. Like,
to be quite honest, the pregame for Thanksgiving Eve was
my favorite part of the event. Like you got to
see like the people that you were and still are
very close with and you know, have those warm and
(09:43):
fuzzy feelings. You know, now we're adults, so like we're
making fancy drinks or having wine and we made food
like a friends giving type of situation.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
That's what we you would usually do before the Thanksgiving
Eve celebration. But I'm happy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I I'm happy it is over this year, and honestly,
thinking about it right now, I think, like post pandemic.
A reason why my social anxiety definitely increased around Thanksgiving
Eve was because I was not out when I was
in high school. Nobody knew that I was queer bisexual.
When I was in high school. It was a secret
(10:20):
that I was keeping. And so now when I see
people from high school, I know, I have a lot
of anxiety about like what do these people think of me?
Like what did they think about me coming out? Did
anybody had their suspicions or did they not like what
like do they know that I'm like dating my partner Olivia?
(10:40):
What did they think about that? And I know, like
that's just how my anxiety works, like these spirals, And
to be quite frank, like, let's be real, nobody is
thinking about me, Like we are all very like self involved,
like they are thinking about themselves their immediate situation, not
me and my queerness.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But it's definitely something that would come up for me.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Was like, gosh, like I don't know if I want
to be around people from high school because I don't
know how people feel about me and my sexuality and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
And I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Somebody that doesn't really lead with my queerness, like it's
a part of me, and it's definitely something I'm learning
and want to embrace more about myself. And I think
for me, it's it's been, you know, a rollercoaster that
we're still accepting and getting used to. So I think
being in front of people from high school and being
(11:33):
out is challenging for me, like point blank. So I'm
kind of happy that I won't have to deal with
that this year. I want to know though, from you guys,
if you're doing Thanksgiving Eve, like I definitely am going
to put up a poll on Instagram, which is at
completely clueless pod because we got to talk about it,
like I want to know what your thoughts are, if
you get as anxious as I do, or if you
(11:55):
really enjoy it, like we get a GiB and gab
about it because I want to know, and honestly, like
Thanksgiving is feeling a bit weird this year anyway, because
both of my brothers aren't growing to be here. I
have two younger brothers if you didn't know, their names
are Stephen and Aiden. Steven is about to graduate from
ASU and Aiden goes to Santa Clara in California. So
(12:16):
Aiden went to go visit Stephen at ASU.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So they're there.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
There was a big AFU game and they like stormed
a field and everything like iconic. Wish that I was there,
and I honestly looked like really fun, Like I loved
going to Elon, But something I did not get out
of that college experience was like what Steven gets at ASU,
Like I would have loved that because the thing about
me is I may not know anything about sports, but
(12:40):
I love an event. I love an event, So like
when I was younger, my dad like would invite me
to go to sports games, and I would be there,
especially once I became of age.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Like, yes, I want to tailgate.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes, I want to have my little white claw truly
and have some good food and like have fun.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I just love that energy.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
And so seeing all these like videos of my brothers
there the other day was like I was like, oh,
I feel like I'm missing out on all the fun.
And I'm not seeing my like cousins and my aunt
and uncle that live nearby because my aunt has work.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
So like we were supposed to see each other this
week and it didn't happen because it's.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
No Like, so it's me and my parents because Olivia
is going with their family and so we're spending the
holidays with one of my So we're spending the holidays
with one of my parents' family friends.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And while it's so nice of them to take us in, like.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I'm not looking forward to it, you guys, I'm not
looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I don't love small talk conversations and they get me anxiety.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh my god, she's an anxious girl. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I don't know, I just don't especially on a holiday,
Like I just it kind of sucks to have to
like mingle with people that I don't know very well,
and I know my parents know them, and like I
want to go because like my dad really wants to
be more social than it just being my mom and
him and I and whatever. I'm gonna go for them
and have a jolly good time. I bet I will
(14:08):
have a good time.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Honestly, I get.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So nervous for social interactions and then once I go
and I do them, like, I'm like, oh, that wasn't
that bad.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
And that is anxiety. And that's what anxiety is, girl.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And you would think after like fifteen plus years of therapy,
I would be better at, like, you know, overcoming my anxiety,
like my anticipatory anxiety, but not so. Yeah, Thanksgiving is
feeling weird. I think the holidays are just a weird time.
And honestly, this is gonna lead me into my clueless
moment about feeling lonely right now and kind of struggling
(14:46):
with social anxiety. I feel like I've brought it up
a lot at the beginning of this episode, and that
has been a huge clueless moment for me. It's like,
over the years, I've just gotten so socially anxious and like,
why why am I feeling so like anxious about social interactions?
I like avoid them sometimes because I don't know what's
(15:10):
going to happen or how I'm going to feel, And honestly,
it's bothering me a lot. And that's why I'm bringing
it up to you guys, because I'm not sure I'm
liking the social person that I'm becoming at this point
in my life, and I definitely want to work on
it a bit. You know, I've always been a bit
(15:31):
slower to warm up to people that I do not know,
even though I'm like extroverted with y'all on this podcast,
and I'm very extroverted with my friends. When you first
meet me, I can be a bit timid and shy,
and that's because of the anxiety. And it takes a
lot of effort for me to kind of be outgoing
(15:53):
with new people.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I wish it's something I didn't have to think about
as much or fight for much, but it's my reality.
And so I think, like there's times in my life
where the social anxiety has gotten a bit better, like
when I was doing my college auditions my gap year,
like I had to travel around this country for these
auditions by myself, and so like that can be a
(16:17):
pretty lonely experience. And so I got used to like
meeting people at auditions and like we would like they
would invite me to go to dinner with their family,
and like, you know, I became a lot more social
in that way. And then I definitely think post pandemic,
like my social like skills have gone from here to here.
They took like this big drop because we were also
(16:39):
isolated and then post COVID, you know, like we weren't
all like back to social gatherings like how they were
pre pandemic, and especially in the last like ten to
twelve months of my life, like I have been super
isolated or been more isolated than I'm used to, And
(16:59):
I like that's like a couple of factors. Like my
partner keeps saying this to me, and I literally replied
to them, I was.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Like, babe, like when is this hard year going to stop?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
But I have had a pretty hard year and it
has been hard to be a human this year. Like
I'm not even going to freakin lie to you guys.
And I think because I've been going through so many
personal changes, like moving back and forth from the city,
you know, starting a new job and quitting that job,
like trying new things out in therapy, being on zet bound,
(17:29):
and folk trying to focus on my health.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Like there's just so many different.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Changes and things happening in my life that the change
can be very overwhelming for me. And you know, some people,
when they're feeling overwhelmed, they like push outwards and they
want to go and extend their energy outwards and be
extroverted and social. I am literally the opposite, Like I
(17:52):
just draw in and want to isolate, and when I'm
feeling too overwhelmed, like I'm like no, like I can't
go out. I can't do that, Like I need to
like lay in my bed and like conserve my energy,
which is like not the full truth. Like you know,
I've told you guys this before. I suffered a pretty
bad depressive episode, and I think ever since then, like
(18:15):
I just get so overly cautious with my energy and
that's something that I'm really like trying to figure out
and work through. However, like I think in the last
couple of months, it's become really apparent to me how
like disconnected I've gotten from my social life, like even
my close friends, Like I just feel like, gosh, you know,
(18:38):
I used to be so much more social. I used
to be so much more connected and and sure, like
we're all twenty six year old adults now and it
can be hard to find the time with work and
like whatever. And I just think that I've leaned so
heavily into more like isolation, into not going out, into
like wanting to sit on my couch and veg and
(18:58):
like whatever, that it's kind of like affected my social life.
Like when I was out on Friday, you guys, Like
something that was kind of swirling through my head was
I was there for a friend. Was just she works
on SNL and they have these like off weeks like
where the show isn't on, so they have the weekends available,
which she doesn't get often, and so she had all
(19:20):
these friends at a karaoke bar just to like see everybody.
And I was looking around. I was like, Wow, there's
so many people that like came and showed up for her.
And I kind of like looked at my social life
and I was like, I don't get me wrong, I
love my few close friends that I have very meaningful
relationships with, like I rather have those meaningful relationships over
(19:42):
just like acquaintances.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And however, but.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think being in this room full of people, mostly
people that one of my friends has met postgrad, sort
of made me realize. And even my old roommate, one
of my best friends, Liz, like seeing her also extend
her or social circle has just like made me realize
how I haven't made that many friends postgrad, and it's
(20:07):
made me feel like pretty insecure about myself and kind
of lonely. Like I see a lot of my high
school and college friends like going and hanging out with
new connections and new people, and I haven't not not
had that experience. Hey, Ellie, if you're listening to this,
Ellie is a work friend of mine that I made
at my old job and like really the first like
(20:27):
close postgrad friend I've had, but like, I haven't made
many others, and I'm I'm starting to feel bad about it,
you guys, I'm starting not to feel good about myself
and I'm starting not to feel good about it. Yeah,
Like I'm feeling lonely and disconnected, and I'm kind of
completely fucking clueless about how to make friends, and I
(20:51):
think I'm scared of the rejection of making friends. I'm like,
I think because I'm also kind of struggling with like
my identity and said of self, Like I'm also struggling
with like anxieties about like, oh well people.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Even really like like me, or like what are we
going to talk about? And like all these things.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like I just like, I don't know if you guys
feel this way, but like I just haven't had to
make friends, like be actively making friends.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
In so long.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Like even when I got to college, I didn't have
to like try so hard to make friends because I
was in this really specialized program at Elon like getting
my BFA. Each class there had like twenty to twenty
five kids in it. There was only eighty kids in
the program. We had parties every week, and so like
I kind of was put into this like sorority almost
(21:39):
like this built in club when I got into college,
so I didn't have to work that hard to meet people.
Like obviously, like I formed my closer friendships out of
like the group of eighty people, but those people were
just like put in front of my face, whereas now,
being an adult, like I have to actively go seek
(22:00):
those friendships.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
And it makes me so scared.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
It makes me so scared because yeah, I'm just like,
oh God, like what if nobody wants to be my friend,
or like what if I'm unable to find anybody to
be my friend? And so yeah, I'm just having a
lot of clueless moments about like my social disconnection and
feeling self conscious about, you know, my lack of a
(22:23):
big social circle and wondering how to change that. And
I wanted to bring it up because I am a
little bit embarrassed like admitting this to y'all. And I
can imagine that this is probably not like an unusual
feeling that like, you know, some people postgrad or put
(22:43):
into situations like my friend Aaron with SNL kind of
like my college program. They have like classes like the
page program, that's what it's called, and so you're with
this group of like thirty kids, and you're able to
like make friendships from that, right And so like, ugh,
I wish I was like I had something like that
right now. And yeah, I think I'm just like yearning
(23:06):
for friendship and or yearning for connection. Because also since
moving home, it's so interesting because you know, I talked
on the podcast when I lived in the city about
how like I just like wasn't happy like living in
the city, and now that I've moved back home as
much as as like, I love my parents and I'm
(23:27):
grateful for the situation that I'm in, Like I miss
being in the city, Like I miss having my own
space and like being closer to people. Like I'm feeling
isolated being in Westchester because all these like especially a
lot of the new connections that I've made through my
old job, Like they're all in the city, and to
(23:47):
get to the city can be a lot of freaking work,
Like I'm not gonna lie, Like there's a lot of
commuting involved, and like I don't have a car, Like
we only have one car at my house, and my
mom takes that to work every day. So like I'm
kind of stuck here, like stranded most of the time.
And so it's like, no wonder I'm feeling disconnected. There's
a lot of situational things. And my fingers are so
(24:09):
cross that this apartment that Olivy and I have been
like hopefully will work out.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Like I don't want to say too much because I
don't want to drink it. Like knock on wood, knock
on everything. You guys.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Hopefully I'll be able to come back soon and give
good news. But you know, hopefully i'll be back in
the city too. But two, hopefully i'll be back in
the city soon. But yeah, I'm definitely feeling completely clueless
about friendship and connection and being social. And I know
also that like talking to you guys in my DMS
has also made me feel better because it makes this
(24:41):
feel like a connection source for me, like I can
meet people through this and y'all can meet people and
and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
But we need to switch gears now.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
We're going to switch gears from being emotional and we're
going to get into gibbing and gabbing and yapping and
chatting about so many different things that are happening in
pop culture right now. We have Wicked Traders trailer and
cast came out. I don't know about y'all, but I
am so into Traders and I cannot wait for it
to come back. Also, I've been watching Love Island Australia,
(25:10):
So let's be pop culture clueless Garleys for a second
and get into that. Let's start with the Wicked review. Now,
I'm going to say this because the number one reason
I'm rerecording this episode was that I just feel like
when I went to talk about Wicked, I was very nervous.
I was nervous because everybody is having these life altering
(25:32):
reactions and responses to the Wicked movie, and I did not,
And it's making me judge myself and feel self conscious
about my love for Wicked. I'm not even gonna lie
to you guys, like I am embarrassed that I didn't
leave that movie theater hysterically crying. I'm embarrassed that I
was watching the movie and was so distracted by my
(25:58):
dislike of some of Ariana Grande's acting choices that like,
I wasn't able to really take in the movie. So
I will preface all of this with I'm going to
see the movie again tomorrow with one of my bestie's stuff.
I'm super excited about it. I love Wicked. Wicked is
the reason I started musical theater. I went and saw
(26:19):
the original cast with my parents in what was it
like twenty two thousand and three or something like that,
Like I was in third grade, I think, And I
don't even remember how or why they got the tickets.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I just remember like being at a family friend's.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Thing, and like we're like, oh yeah, we gotta leave
early because we're going to see Wicked. But that musical
changed my life, Like you guys, I would not be
the person I am today without Wicked because I saw
that musical when I was seven years old, and it
started my journey as a performer. I left that show
and could not stop singing the soundtrack like it was
(26:56):
my life. And my mom started to obviously hear me
singing around the house and growing up, like if you
look at baby pictures of me, like homegirl was always
in a boa and her princess heels.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
She loved to perform.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Like I think I've always been that type of girl,
but Wicked is what really pulled it out of me
as a kid and made my parents realize it too,
And so when they heard me singing about the house,
they were like, you're actually like not that bad, Like
why don't we get you into singing lessons? And so
it started my journey, Like I started taking vocal lessons
(27:31):
with a local teacher when I was seven years old
and literally never stopped. I can remember my childhood voice
teacher coming over for the first time. She brought the
Wicked score. We sang Popular Popular was my first ever
vocal recital song, Like that's what I sang at the
end of the year of my first year of vocal lessons.
And so this show has had such a profound like
(27:54):
impact on my life. It started my career and life
in performing a musical theater and singing, and.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So to not have this.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Like literally like hysterical response to it kind of made
me feel embarrassed. Like I remember walking out of the
theater and Olivia was like, what did you think?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And like I was just like, why am I not crying?
Why am I not sobbing? Why do I not feel
like my life is changed? Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
However, I think there's a couple things that like contributed
to all of this that I want to get into.
And I'm hoping that by seeing the movie a second time,
I can kind of just like sit back and relax
and not put so much pressure on myself to have
a reaction to something and just take it in and
enjoy it. Because what I did experience watching Wicked was
(28:49):
that this is the piece of art that made me
so much of who I am today, and that's what
made me emotional. And I can literally like feel my
tears a little bit coming, Like I was watching it
and I was just remembering like me, just falling in
love with theater and falling in love with singing and
(29:09):
falling in love with being up.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
On a stage.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And that's what I was feeling during that show, in
during the movie, in that like emotional way. Anyways, onto
my thoughts. So first opinion. First opinion about this movie
is I hate fucking social media. Social media ruins everything,
you guys, because I think the whole reason I had
(29:36):
so much self judgment towards my reaction to this movie
was because everybody and their mother was hyping up this
movie to the nth degree online. If you're a theater
kid like me, you are on Wicked TikTok right now,
like you are not not on Wicked TikTok. And so
I have been taking in so much content about this movie.
(29:56):
I've been watching all their press interviews. I've been watching
friends like who are in like the influencing world go
and review it like people you trust going to these premieres,
like of course I'm watching all of these you know
Chrys solsin Eli Ryoh, like all these you know, big
mega theater influencers go and rave about the movie, hysterically
(30:17):
cry like I was in taking it all. So my
expectations were so high. I was like, this movie is
going to change America, Like this movie is going to
be like life altering for me. And so when I
went to my local AMC Zobe cinema on Wednesday at
(30:39):
six o'clock, and I wasn't a brand new person after
walking out of that theater, Like I.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Was like, what's wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Am I not true theater kid?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And I definitely think the hype on social media contributed
to me feeling maybe a bit disappointed by the movie.
And I think other people have had this reaction as well,
Like I'm finally starting to see some content of other
people who were like okay, wait, is is anybody else
feeling like not totally life altered by the Wicked movie?
(31:13):
And once I started seeing that stuff, I was like, okay,
Like maybe my opinion and my experience is valid, because literally,
like I was not seeing anything on social media about
like the experience that I was having. And so all
this to say, I definitely think the hype on social
media all the content. All the exposure raised my bar
(31:37):
so fucking high that no matter how good the movie
was or is, like, it was never going to reach
the expectation I had in my head because social media
made it like totally unrealistic. Okay, so now into like
actual opinions about the movie. My most controversial opinion about
(31:58):
the Wicked movie is I personally did not love Arianna
Grandi's performance as Glinda. Don't come for me, Please do
not come for me. I am not an Ari hater, Okay.
I had no qualms with her being cast in this role.
I thought this was great, this is her dream, and
(32:20):
I will say this, I agree with everybody saying it
is beautiful to watch somebody live out their dreams, both
her and Cynthia Rivo. It is beautiful to watch that
because I have dreams and I hope that one day
when those dreams come true or like dreams that I
don't even know that I have come true, like, people
(32:41):
will be happy for me. So I'm not a woman
hater and I'm not like somebody that can't feel joy
for other people. Right, it was so cool to see
somebody's dream come true, like that video of her where
they tell her that she's playing Glinda, like ugh, Like
it makes my heart so happy because as a theater
girl and is somebody that has experienced a lot of
(33:03):
rejection in this theater world. Like when you get something
like a role that you want to play, like it
is so exciting. It is this breath of like exhilaration.
You're like, oh my god, I did it, Like I
am going to get to fully play and realize this
role that I really wanted. So that is what I
(33:25):
will say about that, is that I had no qualms
with her playing this role. I think for me personally,
I was distracted a bit by like, oh, this is
Ariana Grande playing Glinda. So I think like at first
I was in that headspace because with Cynthia Aarrivo, I
(33:49):
felt there was such a transformation to Alphaba into the
fourth Wall. Whereas Ariana, I don't want to say she's
acting out Glinda in the real world, but she's definitely
portraying a lot of the character in herself in the
(34:11):
real world. She is definitely bringing the character to her
facial expressions, to how she's posing on the red carpet,
to how she's speaking, and you know, Austin Butler Elvis.
He was literally talking like Elvis for four hundred fucking years,
and that was annoying. Like I get it, some people
(34:32):
really method act and really immerse themselves in that character,
and the lines can get blurred. However, I think that
line blurredness is hard when you're trying to get into
the world of the movie and get into this other
thing that's not real, into the story, right, because now
(34:55):
I'm watching it and I'm like, oh, like, this is
how are you like?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
This is this?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
This is just Arianna, you know what I mean, versus Cynthia, Like,
at least for me personally, Like I don't feel like
she's being Alphaba Elfie in real life, Like I feel
like she is Cynthia Rivo. And then when I saw
her in Wicked, she transformed into Alphaba. And then another
thing about Ariana's acting choices that I didn't love as
(35:23):
much is I feel like she brought a lot of timid, meek,
demure energy to her rendition of uh Glinda. I felt,
especially in that first forty five minutes two hour of
the movie. I felt like, yeah, it was just too
(35:43):
timid and demure for me. She was making acting choices
and literally, I was getting frustrated. I was like, girl, like,
why are you being so timid? Why are you being
so oh like like stan not stan Offish, but like
and I don't want to use the word weak, but
like kind of weak. I was like, ye, yes, Glinda
is ditsy like whooe kind of.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
But she isn't weak.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
She isn't timid or at least all the actresses that
I've seen Plague Glinda on Broadway, I think, bring this
strength to her. Like Glinda knows who she is. Yes,
she has this ditsy, maybe character comedy esque vibe to her,
but like she is strong, she stands in her power,
(36:31):
in who she is, and sometimes Ariana Grande wasn't giving
me that, and so I think immediately that threw me
off when I started watching the movie, was just like
how she was choosing to play this role and that
I didn't agree with it, and that's okay, Like, obviously
(36:51):
so many people are taken by her performance, and I'm
not saying I wasn't taken by it. Like Popular was
so good. I loved her rendition of Popular. I love
what she brought to it. However, I just think a
lot of the times throughout the movie, I was somewhat
I think, distracted by her being Arianna and that whole
fourth wall break. And I was also not agreeing with
(37:14):
how she was choosing to play this role, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I was she brought a bit more strength to it.
And I also think something that contributed to how I'm
feeling is I really felt like her makeup was so
washed out. I don't know if anybody else agree agrees
with that, but I literally felt her face was just
this blank canvas like that they only did foundation, so
her face sort of felt lifeless to me throughout the movie,
(37:40):
like I wish they gave her some more blush, Like
I was just like, I want your face to have
more life, Like I want there to be yeah, like
more dynamic to your face. Her costumes were incredible. I mean,
who doesn't love Glinda's costumes. Glinda's costumes are the best, Like,
especially as a pink, girly girl, Like I'm just like,
oh my god, I want to be in her wardrobe.
(38:03):
But I feel like her face was just so watched
out and bland that it was bothering me a bit too.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
So I'm excited to see the.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Movie again, and I really want to approach Glinda Ari
from a fresh point of view and maybe try and
see what she's trying to do with her acting choices,
what she may be trying to do with the role
being a bit more timid and whatnot. That's just my opinion.
(38:33):
We can agree to disagree. You may not like it,
but I wanted to share it because I'm curious if
anybody else feels the same way.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Olivia.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
You know, I talked to Olivia about it and they
sort of saw what I was seeing as well. But
I'm curious if you feel the same way. Please let
me know, because I literally have nobody to talk about
it with. I literally have no one to talk about
it because I'm scared. I'm scared, you guys, I'm scared
people are gonna yell at me and be mean to
me by sharing my opinion and like ugh, like you know,
but I want to share because it's something I haven't
(39:01):
heard before, and so I'm just curious if anybody else
saw it or felt that from her performance. So please
please DM me if you did. My next thing is
Cynthia Rivo was incredible. She was incredible. She was my
favorite part of that movie. Hands down, I saw this
opinion on TikTok and it literally put exactly into words
(39:24):
how I feel about her performance. She brought an emotional
depth to Alphaba that I have never seen anybody do.
It's funny because I'm talking about how like Engalinda, I
have personally liked, like not a characterature, but like you know,
it could be a little bit more theater acting in
that way with that role. At least I've enjoyed that
(39:46):
in the past. However, on Broadway, I feel like Alpha
Ba has kind of taken on a bit more of
a character too. Can kind of be cheesy sometimes with
the theater acting, but oh god, miss Arivo just brought
me to a whole other emotional dimension with how much
(40:08):
emotion and story she put into her rendition of Alpha Ba.
Like you could see in her eyes throughout that entire
movie that she was immersed in that world, that she
was Alpha Ba, that she was going through things.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I think you lose that in the Broadway show.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I think because the camera is so close to their
faces and you can get so many different, like yet
close up shots, wide shots of Alphaba's story that you
are just able to see that character like you aren't
able to see her on Broadway. You are able to
feel her emotional depth like you aren't able to on Broadway,
(40:54):
like Cynthia Rivo's eyes throughout the entire performance just had
me locked. There was just a story in her eyes
one hundred and ten percent of the time that she
was on screen. She held it all throughout the show.
It's been interesting to hear like bits and pieces about
how she approached the role in our interviews because it
(41:16):
reminds me of how I approach acting very much in
that like she would want to do takes like all
the way through because she wanted to continue and build
that momentum of a character and I and I love
that choice. The last show that I was in at
Elon was this song cycle called a Fugitive Fugitive Songs. Yeah,
(41:38):
I think that's what it was called. And I played Alicia,
and because I hadn't been in anything else during my
time at Elon, I really put a lot of character
work into that. And let me tell you, when you
do the work, your performance shows. She did the mother
fucking work because that character was emotionally there a hundred
(41:59):
and ten percent of the time she was always in check.
She always knew which part of the story and her
character journey she was at, and she brought that to
us in the biggest and best ways possible.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
And it reminded me of.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
When I did that role at school, because I really
built that life for the character. I did a lot
of like character paperwork to figure out who this character was,
what world she lived in, what she had been through.
And when you do that work, it helps your acting.
(42:35):
You're singing your storytelling so much, at least for me
as the actor and performer, Like it's just I'm able
to do my job so much easier because I am
Sarah Lyddy here and then once I step into the
world of the play or the musical, I have a
whole world for that character. And you can tell that
(42:56):
Cynthia did that. And I'm not saying Ariana Grande didn't
she one hundred percent. I think did as well. But
I was just really taken by Cynthia's eyes the entire time,
like I was just locked in and she really brought
me somewhere. So I'm excited to watch her do this
again tomorrow evening. I will say the only part of
the story and how they chose to depict it in
(43:19):
the movie. That I didn't like with Alphaba was the
last scene, which I know is crazy because it was
defying gravity, and I mean Cynthia sang it beautifully. However,
for me, in the last like sixteen bars of the song,
they did a lot of stopping and starting. If you've
seen the movie, she like does one rift and then
you know, her broom drops and she starts falling and
(43:42):
she sees her younger self and then she lifts up
and then she does another rift and then she flies
around and then she does the last rift. And for
me personally, I felt that it chopped up the momentum.
I feel like it didn't drive us to the end
for me personally, Like literally, Olivia and I looked and
laughed at each other because you know, Cynthia Rivo's like
(44:07):
defying gravity rift. The end rift that she does has
I don't want to say, become a meme, but it
has become a pop culture moment, like people have been
doing it.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
So much.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Sorry, that was like really cracky because I went out
on Friday, as I said, and my voice has been
very tired ever since. Anyways, that like her rift has
become so well known in pop culture, and so I
feel like with all these stops and starts and pauses,
like it made me chuckle because I knew what was coming, right,
(44:39):
I knew the whole was coming, Versus I would have
loved to have seen it drive a bit more like
vocally and stay there like when she starts. So if
you O care, find me like I wanted her to
keep I wanted it to keep going, not the like
(44:59):
pause sing, pause sing. It just took the drive and
the momentum out of it for me personally. So yeah,
those are all my thoughts on Wicked right now, honestly,
Like I think, I just feel so taken about, like
this is so losory, This is so losory and weird
(45:21):
of me. But literally, I'm just so taken aback that
I didn't have this like life changing experience like everybody else.
And like we all know social media is fake, So
I bet there is a lot of fakeness to the
tears into the oh my god me before the Wicked movie,
Like I bet there is fakeness to all of that,
(45:44):
Like we're all putting on somewhat of a performance when
we get on social media, right Like whether we like
it or not, but I'm hoping that tomorrow, especially because
I'm going with one of my like theater friends, like
it'll it'll be a different experience. Actually, the girl I'm
going with, Steph We sang what is this feeling at
her senior recital and she had shared it on social
media today and it made me happy and it made
(46:05):
me be like, wow, girl, like, maybe you should start
singing again. New character arc for Sarah Lettie, We'll see,
we see. I did warm up before this, especially because
my voice was so tired. Okay, I'm gonna get into
Love Island Australia like super duper quickly. I bet like
five percent of you are even watching it. But if
you're not watching it, this is your sign. This is
your sign to watch Love Island Australia. It is so good,
(46:30):
Like I love a good season of Love Island. Sometimes
I feel like at the beginning, Love Island is definitely
a slow burn, Like those first four to five episodes.
You're either going to get me or you're not gonna
get me, because look, they're getting to know each other,
they're meeting each other, so there is a lot of
(46:50):
slow energy to it all. There isn't a bunch of
drama yet. But let me tell you, Love Island Australia
brought the drama so quickly and it hooked me. It's
sort of like the current US season and that happened
over the summer that everyone was so taken by. And
that's what I feel like will make or break Love
Island season is those first four or five episodes.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
If that cast is not.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Able to lock in on drama and connection quickly enough,
the viewer gets bored. I feel like it was the
last season of UK. Like I tried to watch it.
I couldn't get through it. You guys, I couldn't do
it because there was just something that wasn't there for me.
But that isn't the case with Love Island Australia. Let
(47:35):
me tell you they have brought it since the first second. Okay,
So I'm going to go through some of the characters
and storylines that I have enjoyed or have opinions on,
like super quickly, because I didn't think that my wicked
review would take so long, but it did. Love Island
Australia starts off super strong with the meanest mean girls
(47:55):
I have ever seen mean in my life. Like I
was watching and I was like, Hey, the blonde one
is on ten percent, Regina George Zanthy is what's Amanda
Seyfrid's Oh god, Regina Gretchen, Oh my god? Why am
I blanking on Amanda Seifried's character in Mean Girls Karen Karen. Okay,
(48:17):
so Hannah, Regina Zanthy, Karen, and she's not stupid, but
she's twenty one years old and you can tell it.
You can tell it throughout her time on the island,
with her emotional maturity about her situation. Okay, and then
we have Aileisha who is Gretchen. Aileisha was insufferable, insufferable
(48:42):
to watch, and honestly, I felt like she brought out
the mean girl in Hannah because ever since Ailiicha Alicha
got voted off pretty early. Oop spoiler, sorry guys, but
she gets voted off pretty early. And it was interesting
those first couple episodes because it honestly felt like there
was a divide between the girls. There was Hannah Zanty
and Aileisha, and then there was em and me me
(49:05):
on the other side, and then the bombshell who came
in sop because Hannah Zanti and Aileisha were like hating
on the other girls, and I feel like that doesn't
happen a lot on Love Island. Like, you know, even
though girls people boys can get jealous too, Like even
though people are coming in and manet or making connections
(49:26):
with somebody that you have connections with, like whatever they're
kind of being, they're usually able to like put that
aside and still form these like close friendships. But in
the first couple of episodes, I was honestly worried about
the female friendships on this season because it felt like
the mean girls, you know, were just so rude and
(49:47):
hating on the other women in the villa, and I
did not like that. I was like, no, I was like,
you all are acting so insufferable right now, those three
mean girls, like I was like pa Lee's they were
just being so so rude. And when the first bombshell
SOF comes in, like the way Hannah and Elisha were
acting were just oh god, it was so nasty, and
(50:09):
like I feel like Xanthy was just their little like minion,
like homegirl just like doesn't have enough of a personality
or sense of self that she just like got swept
away in it. So when Alisha was taken out pretty early.
I was happy about it because it kind of softened
Hannah a bit, or at least what I was viewing
was like, Okay, the women over the next few episodes
(50:29):
really came together, and Hannah was being nicer and like
they were forming bonds, like you know, I'm on episode
twelve now, and now Hannah really likes the girl Sofa
that she was an absolute bitch too at the beginning, okay,
And so I was like, thank god, okay, because women
need each other, We need our friends like you need
them to get through. And I didn't want to see
(50:50):
a season like where the girls were just being mean
to each other, like that's not cool, right. And the
one guy that's really standing out for me right now,
twelve episodes in is this guy named Zaane. He was
with the girl Zanthe, who has no sense of self,
Like this girl was like a twenty one twelve year old,
like she would sob you guys, hin hysterics about this
(51:16):
man that she maybe knew for a week, like literally
after two days sobbing. And look a part of me
gets why she was sobbing because this man did not
give one fucking like shit about her. He did not
care about that girl whatsoever, Like she was like just
hooking up and maybe sex for him in the villa.
Like he never talked about her when you saw them together,
(51:39):
Like did they even talk about anything? Like no, they
were just like making out like and he didn't give
her the time of day. And so I get it,
Like I think she was seeing that in real time though,
Like this guy doesn't really care about me, like we're
together because like he can easily hook up with me
and like stay with me while he waits for something better.
But this guy Zain is so interesting to me because
(52:00):
he has been a fuck boy for lack of a
better term, for the last seven years. He's been sleeping
around with whoever he wants to, not forming any serious
emotional connections, at least to what he's saying in the villa,
And now all of a sudden, you know, he wants
something serious. He's like, I'm getting older, like you know,
when the girls are asking him like, oh, what did
you come here for, He's like yeah, like I'm looking
(52:20):
for something serious. However, it's a great lesson in like
you cannot like that whole taxi cab theory with guys, right,
So they'll fuck around for as long as they want
and when they're ready to get ready.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
When they're ready to get ready, when they're.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Ready to settle down and get married, they'll see the
first taxi cab, first girl.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
And go, she's it right.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
And I don't think he's doing that completely, but I
bring that up because it makes me realize and maybe
will make you realize as a viewer, Like you can't
go from being emotionless and just having emotionless sex, hooking up,
not giving a fuck for so many years too. I
want to be in a committed relationship and expect that
(53:02):
you're going to know how to be in that committed relationship. Like,
if I've learned anything in my twenties, it is that
romantic relationships are work. And I don't think it's bad
that they are hard work, That their work, that their
effort that you need to put in. However, this man
knows nothing about being in a committed relationship, Like he
(53:24):
just wants to be in one, right, But you can
tell his lack of emotional maturity, like it is so high.
He literally doesn't even know how to deal with the
crying girl. And now he's in a new couple with
this other girl who's super into fitness, and you guys,
all they're talking about is meal prepping and fitness, Like
it is so fucking boring. And I think it's so
(53:45):
funny that he thinks that that's a real connection because
it's not like he obviously thinks she's hot, but like
they're talking nothing beyond jim Tan, meat and rice. Like literally,
it's really interesting to see that man interact and think
that he's gonna walk away with away from this. I'm like, bro,
you need to go to therapy first. You need to
(54:07):
go on some dates and really figure out how to
emote and what you want in a relationship, because right
now what you're doing is just not it. Like he
just like does not give me good energy. The girl,
m oh my god, I'm obsessed with her, you guys, Like,
I'm like, how are you not queer? I bet she
is to some extent, but like she gives me gay
queer vibes. And I just think she is one of
(54:29):
those people that is just like so effortlessly cool, Like
she wears the coolest stuff, Like her tattoos look so
cool on her, her hair is so cool, her fluffy eyebrows,
like I'm obsessed, Like I'm just so obsessed with her,
and she's with this guy now his name is Taylor,
but I think he may be turning his head, which
is sad because I think it's been really cute to
(54:49):
see them like be in their relationship because they're very
like different from each other's normal type, and I think
that like goes to show like you can you know
fall anybody. You never know what's gonna happen. So I've
really loved watching them live out there romance.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
But I think it's gonna stop, which is so sad.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Hannah's fucking nuts, like yes, Regina George and apparently she
is going to be going into her Regina George two
point zero era with these two new girls that just
came in. I unfortunately sold some spoilers. But she is
a hoot, that girl. When she gets mad at her
man Nico, oh god, like she gets caught crazy, like,
(55:30):
oh my god, you could just see the like sea
thing of anger on her face.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
She's funny.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
But I all this to say, like I say all
this to say so much, but you should watch Love
Island Australia. It is so good and please watch it
so I have somebody to talk about it with because
currently have no one to talk about it with, and.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
I want to talk about it with somebody.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
So I hope you enjoyed chatting with me, and hopefully
you got in your comfies too, or you know, you're
in your car driving, or you're somewhere where you're cozy,
because that's how I'm feeling right now in my pajamas.
You know, very quickly, I've kind of stopped dressing up
and putting on a lot of makeup for the podcast,
and I wouldn't I'd be lying to you if I
(56:12):
said that. I think maybe it affects like the podcast
performance in some ways, like I'm not beautified with all
my makeup and like a cute outfit and whatever. And
I bet there'll be a point where I get back
to that at least a little bit. But I think
the era that I'm in right now, like being in
my childhood bedroom, like with the fire in the back,
(56:34):
it's cozy vibes for me, and yeah, I just kind
of want to like be able to be my most
vulnerable self with you guys, so that like you can
be that with me too, And that's me being in
my comfies right now, Like that's just who I am, comfies,
no makeup, pimple patches, like that's my era, especially not
having to like get up and get dressed for work.
(56:54):
So always feel free to put on your cozies and
listen to the pod. I feel like that's that's that's
the way to listen. Anyways, Thank you guys so much
for listening to this episode of the Completely Clueless podcast.
You can follow me on TikTok, the podcast on TikTok
as well. Let's do the podcast first at completely Coolest
pod on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube, and you can follow
(57:16):
me and all of my personal journeys on at Sarah
alis Lidy on TikTok and Instagram. Thank you guys again
so much for listening. Thank you for being clueless with me.
Thank you for dming me and supporting me again. You
have no idea how much it means to me. Love
you guys so much. Have a terrific Tuesday, have a
wonderful week, and do not forget to be motherfucking clueless.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
I love you guys.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
I leave you with that fine
Hello, my Clueless queens.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome back to the Completely Clueless Podcast. I am your host,
Sarah Alice Lyddy, and let me address the elephant in
the room. For those not viewing giving you the visual,
I am in my Skins pajamas. I feel like I've
been talking about pajamas so much on the podcast lately,
and being in cozies and comfy's is truly the era
(00:32):
I'm in in life. Because I'm not going to a
job right now, I am just constantly in my cozys.
So I wanted to be my most authentic self with
you guys. So I threw on my favorite pair of
Skins pajamas, and they have these cute cherries on them.
I'm obsessed. I also have a pimple patch under my nose.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to
see it from the screen because I'm a bit too
(00:53):
far to like see the details, but you know, just
wanted to address it just in case and normalize pimple patches,
like I mean, I feel like that's already so normal.
So many people wear their pimple patches all the time.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I know I do.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
However, I just could not get on screen with a huge,
bright red ZiT under my nose like this morning, Oh
my god, when I woke up. You guys, you know
when you wake up to eight like fat juicy pimple,
That was me this morning with this one under my
nose and oh my god, you know when it like
hurts to touch. Oh, it was hurting so badly. But
(01:28):
you know what, took a deep breath and popped that sucker.
So the white head is out. But now I just
need my clean skin club pimple patch to you know,
just take all the rest the gross shit out of that.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
So that's where we're at.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It's also a Sunday. I'm running a bit behind per usual.
I've just noticed that I'm one of those girlies. If
you give me an infinite amount of time, like I
will just take my time to the nth degree.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I take my time far, far too much. Literally.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
On Friday, I recorded what I thought was going to
be this episode. However, something that I'm learning in my
solo podcast or era is that sometimes it can be
very hard for me to record these episodes, like think
about it. You are literally I'm in my childhood bedroom
talking to myself.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
To a camera.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I've been trying to like visualize your guys' energy here,
Like I've gotten to know some of you over DM,
so I try and like visualize your faces conversations.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
That we had.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's very like woo woo actor of me. But like
I gotta put my BFA training to work, am I right?
So that's sometimes how I can get myself there. However, Friday,
like I was just one of those recordings where I
was stopping and starting and stopping and starting and judging
everything that I was saying, Like we're gonna get into
the Wicked movie later in this episode, and I have
(02:53):
some interesting opinions. I have opinions that not everybody else
on the internet is having, And like I was just
so an able to get through my thoughts because I
was like, I'm gonna lose my audience. I'm gonna lose
my audience. You are all gonna hate me because I
did not have this life changing reaction to Wicked. However,
I took a step back. It was like, oh my god, girl,
like that anxiety disorder of yours, she's really acting up
(03:16):
right now. And so I wanted to try this episode again,
approach it from a fresh new mind approach. It with
some new things, and I think we're gonna be good.
Oh but here was the point. See, I'm taking up
my sweet tan. See, I'm taking up my sweet goddamn
time on this story too. Back to the point is, yes,
(03:36):
I do take my time like into nobody's business. Like,
let's say I have three hours to get ready. I
will be scra I will be late to the function,
and I will be scrambling. Like I have plenty of
time to get myself ready in three hours, right, but
I'll probably spend the first hour and a half dilly
dallying on my phone or watching the show that I'm
currently watching instead of getting ready. And then by the
(03:59):
time I'm geting ready, I take like literally twenty minutes
on my eyebrows because, fun fact, my eyebrows are actually
my biggest insecurity. When I was younger, I think I've
told the story before I razored them, and now there's
just a lot of blank spots in my eyebrows. So
my eyebrows take me a very long time to fill
in because I'm very specific about them. I want them
(04:20):
to look a certain way, and like, eyebrows should not
take twenty minutes to fill in, but they do, they
do for me anyways, I will literally just take my
goddamn sweet time if I have the time, and then
I'm rushing, always rushing. My makeup is never finished, always
doing the mescara on the train, in the car, literally walking,
(04:41):
or sometimes at the function because I wasn't ready, always
arriving late. And this story started with me being late
on Friday when I went out for the first time
in such a long time, you guys, like I was.
I've been in my homebody Grandma era for the past
(05:02):
like ten or eleven months, like I've just really slowed
down on going out in like a party way, and
so usually once or twice a month I will go
out and go balls to the walls and have a
crazy night. But your girl was running so late because
I was trying to record this podcast, didn't wrap that
(05:22):
until like seven o'clock. Still needed to shower, eat, and
do my makeup. I ended up showing up to the
function that started at nine point thirty at ten forty.
Because I also don't live in the city now, and
so I have to take that into account in my
travel time as well, which can be just kind of frustrating.
(05:43):
I ended up having to like spend money on a
lift because like I would have to have waited later
to leave for a train time, so it was a
whole thing. However, even though I was late, I ended
up having such a great night out. I got there
so late that I ended up out until four I
am in the morning, Like, who the fuck is she?
I cannot believe I did that? But we went to
(06:06):
a karaoke bar and just had a grand old time
and I had like four or five drinks, and for me,
that will do it, like in my new era, and
was just being silly, goofy twenty six year old with
my friends. So even though I'm definitely in a different era,
not party girl era of my life, like I pull
(06:28):
her out every every so and so once a month.
I forget how I even got on this subject. But
we're gonna pivot into talking about like Thanksgiving Eve, because
I don't know about y'all, but this is my first
year not doing Thanksgiving Eve, so I'm assuming that most
(06:48):
people listening to this will know what Thanksgiving Eve is.
It's currently the Sunday before Thanksgiving, so holidays are on
the brain for me, as I'm assuming they are for
you guys. As well, And for those who don't know
what Thanksgiving Eve is is in the States, like a
lot of hometowns, when you go home for the Thanksgiving
holiday the night before Thanksgiving the Wednesday, usually everybody will
(07:13):
go down to their like local dive bar or bar
in their town and you see everybody from high school
and like you catch up and like whatever. I don't
know how this tradition got started, but everybody I know
like attends Thanksgiving Eve, and oh god, Thanksgiving Eve is
(07:33):
uniquely unique. It's a unique type of social anxiety that
I know I experienced from the holiday when I was
in college. It was so much more of like a
party night, you know, like getting drunk drunk, and like,
let's be real, you run into old friends, you run
(07:55):
into ex'es, you run into old flings and hookups and situationships,
and like that's a lot of anxiety to put on
yourself the night before a holiday that you're gonna spend
with your family. And then you add alcohol to the mix,
like what is this freaking holiday? And every year it
would come around, and every year I would get so
anxious for it, right because you're seeing all these people again,
(08:20):
the alcohol is there and I don't know, like I
just like wasn't able to sink in and enjoy it
and be like, oh, it's so great to see you
and just not care. You know, I have anxiety, duh,
So my thoughts are spinning and spiraling and whatever. So
I would say the ones before the pandemic for me,
(08:40):
because I was younger, were very wild and crazy, and
then post pandemic, you know, things have slowed down a bit.
And when my friends and I went to Thanksgiving Eve
last year, I was like, this is definitely my last one, Like,
I don't want to do this again. I don't want
to spend the night before Thanksgiving feeling anxious about who
I'm going to see, what we're gonna talk about. Am
(09:01):
I gonna drink too much in front of these people?
Am I gonna divulge something that I don't want to divulge?
And I'm done with it. This year, one of my
high school friends texted in our group chat and she
was like, have we aged out of Thanksgiving Eve? And
we all wrote back apps a fucking lutely like we
are done.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
This is over.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was a great run and I really hope that
my high school friends and I though, will continue to
like see each other around the holidays because it is
such a great time to just like catch up. Like,
to be quite honest, the pregame for Thanksgiving Eve was
my favorite part of the event. Like you got to
see like the people that you were and still are
very close with and you know, have those warm and
(09:43):
fuzzy feelings. You know, now we're adults, so like we're
making fancy drinks or having wine and we made food
like a friends giving type of situation.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
That's what we you would usually do before the Thanksgiving
Eve celebration. But I'm happy.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I I'm happy it is over this year, and honestly,
thinking about it right now, I think, like post pandemic.
A reason why my social anxiety definitely increased around Thanksgiving
Eve was because I was not out when I was
in high school. Nobody knew that I was queer bisexual.
When I was in high school. It was a secret
(10:20):
that I was keeping. And so now when I see
people from high school, I know, I have a lot
of anxiety about like what do these people think of me?
Like what did they think about me coming out? Did
anybody had their suspicions or did they not like what
like do they know that I'm like dating my partner Olivia?
(10:40):
What did they think about that? And I know, like
that's just how my anxiety works, like these spirals, And
to be quite frank, like, let's be real, nobody is
thinking about me, Like we are all very like self involved,
like they are thinking about themselves their immediate situation, not
me and my queerness.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But it's definitely something that would come up for me.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Was like, gosh, like I don't know if I want
to be around people from high school because I don't
know how people feel about me and my sexuality and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
And I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Somebody that doesn't really lead with my queerness, like it's
a part of me, and it's definitely something I'm learning
and want to embrace more about myself. And I think
for me, it's it's been, you know, a rollercoaster that
we're still accepting and getting used to. So I think
being in front of people from high school and being
(11:33):
out is challenging for me, like point blank. So I'm
kind of happy that I won't have to deal with
that this year. I want to know though, from you guys,
if you're doing Thanksgiving Eve, like I definitely am going
to put up a poll on Instagram, which is at
completely clueless pod because we got to talk about it,
like I want to know what your thoughts are, if
you get as anxious as I do, or if you
(11:55):
really enjoy it, like we get a GiB and gab
about it because I want to know, and honestly, like
Thanksgiving is feeling a bit weird this year anyway, because
both of my brothers aren't growing to be here. I
have two younger brothers if you didn't know, their names
are Stephen and Aiden. Steven is about to graduate from
ASU and Aiden goes to Santa Clara in California. So
(12:16):
Aiden went to go visit Stephen at ASU.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So they're there.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
There was a big AFU game and they like stormed
a field and everything like iconic. Wish that I was there,
and I honestly looked like really fun, Like I loved
going to Elon, But something I did not get out
of that college experience was like what Steven gets at ASU,
Like I would have loved that because the thing about
me is I may not know anything about sports, but
(12:40):
I love an event. I love an event, So like
when I was younger, my dad like would invite me
to go to sports games, and I would be there,
especially once I became of age.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Like, yes, I want to tailgate.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes, I want to have my little white claw truly
and have some good food and like have fun.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I just love that energy.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
And so seeing all these like videos of my brothers
there the other day was like I was like, oh,
I feel like I'm missing out on all the fun.
And I'm not seeing my like cousins and my aunt
and uncle that live nearby because my aunt has work.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
So like we were supposed to see each other this
week and it didn't happen because it's.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
No Like, so it's me and my parents because Olivia
is going with their family and so we're spending the
holidays with one of my So we're spending the holidays
with one of my parents' family friends.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And while it's so nice of them to take us in, like.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I'm not looking forward to it, you guys, I'm not
looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I don't love small talk conversations and they get me anxiety.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh my god, she's an anxious girl. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I don't know, I just don't especially on a holiday,
Like I just it kind of sucks to have to
like mingle with people that I don't know very well,
and I know my parents know them, and like I
want to go because like my dad really wants to
be more social than it just being my mom and
him and I and whatever. I'm gonna go for them
and have a jolly good time. I bet I will
(14:08):
have a good time.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Honestly, I get.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So nervous for social interactions and then once I go
and I do them, like, I'm like, oh, that wasn't
that bad.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
And that is anxiety. And that's what anxiety is, girl.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And you would think after like fifteen plus years of therapy,
I would be better at, like, you know, overcoming my anxiety,
like my anticipatory anxiety, but not so. Yeah, Thanksgiving is
feeling weird. I think the holidays are just a weird time.
And honestly, this is gonna lead me into my clueless
moment about feeling lonely right now and kind of struggling
(14:46):
with social anxiety. I feel like I've brought it up
a lot at the beginning of this episode, and that
has been a huge clueless moment for me. It's like,
over the years, I've just gotten so socially anxious and like,
why why am I feeling so like anxious about social interactions?
I like avoid them sometimes because I don't know what's
(15:10):
going to happen or how I'm going to feel, And honestly,
it's bothering me a lot. And that's why I'm bringing
it up to you guys, because I'm not sure I'm
liking the social person that I'm becoming at this point
in my life, and I definitely want to work on
it a bit. You know, I've always been a bit
(15:31):
slower to warm up to people that I do not know,
even though I'm like extroverted with y'all on this podcast,
and I'm very extroverted with my friends. When you first
meet me, I can be a bit timid and shy,
and that's because of the anxiety. And it takes a
lot of effort for me to kind of be outgoing
(15:53):
with new people.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I wish it's something I didn't have to think about
as much or fight for much, but it's my reality.
And so I think, like there's times in my life
where the social anxiety has gotten a bit better, like
when I was doing my college auditions my gap year,
like I had to travel around this country for these
auditions by myself, and so like that can be a
(16:17):
pretty lonely experience. And so I got used to like
meeting people at auditions and like we would like they
would invite me to go to dinner with their family,
and like, you know, I became a lot more social
in that way. And then I definitely think post pandemic,
like my social like skills have gone from here to here.
They took like this big drop because we were also
(16:39):
isolated and then post COVID, you know, like we weren't
all like back to social gatherings like how they were
pre pandemic, and especially in the last like ten to
twelve months of my life, like I have been super
isolated or been more isolated than I'm used to, And
(16:59):
I like that's like a couple of factors. Like my
partner keeps saying this to me, and I literally replied
to them, I was.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Like, babe, like when is this hard year going to stop?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
But I have had a pretty hard year and it
has been hard to be a human this year. Like
I'm not even going to freakin lie to you guys.
And I think because I've been going through so many
personal changes, like moving back and forth from the city,
you know, starting a new job and quitting that job,
like trying new things out in therapy, being on zet bound,
(17:29):
and folk trying to focus on my health.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Like there's just so many different.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Changes and things happening in my life that the change
can be very overwhelming for me. And you know, some people,
when they're feeling overwhelmed, they like push outwards and they
want to go and extend their energy outwards and be
extroverted and social. I am literally the opposite, Like I
(17:52):
just draw in and want to isolate, and when I'm
feeling too overwhelmed, like I'm like no, like I can't
go out. I can't do that, Like I need to
like lay in my bed and like conserve my energy,
which is like not the full truth. Like you know,
I've told you guys this before. I suffered a pretty
bad depressive episode, and I think ever since then, like
(18:15):
I just get so overly cautious with my energy and
that's something that I'm really like trying to figure out
and work through. However, like I think in the last
couple of months, it's become really apparent to me how
like disconnected I've gotten from my social life, like even
my close friends, Like I just feel like, gosh, you know,
(18:38):
I used to be so much more social. I used
to be so much more connected and and sure, like
we're all twenty six year old adults now and it
can be hard to find the time with work and
like whatever. And I just think that I've leaned so
heavily into more like isolation, into not going out, into
like wanting to sit on my couch and veg and
(18:58):
like whatever, that it's kind of like affected my social life.
Like when I was out on Friday, you guys, Like
something that was kind of swirling through my head was
I was there for a friend. Was just she works
on SNL and they have these like off weeks like
where the show isn't on, so they have the weekends available,
which she doesn't get often, and so she had all
(19:20):
these friends at a karaoke bar just to like see everybody.
And I was looking around. I was like, Wow, there's
so many people that like came and showed up for her.
And I kind of like looked at my social life
and I was like, I don't get me wrong, I
love my few close friends that I have very meaningful
relationships with, like I rather have those meaningful relationships over
(19:42):
just like acquaintances.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And however, but.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think being in this room full of people, mostly
people that one of my friends has met postgrad, sort
of made me realize. And even my old roommate, one
of my best friends, Liz, like seeing her also extend
her or social circle has just like made me realize
how I haven't made that many friends postgrad, and it's
(20:07):
made me feel like pretty insecure about myself and kind
of lonely. Like I see a lot of my high
school and college friends like going and hanging out with
new connections and new people, and I haven't not not
had that experience. Hey, Ellie, if you're listening to this,
Ellie is a work friend of mine that I made
at my old job and like really the first like
(20:27):
close postgrad friend I've had, but like, I haven't made
many others, and I'm I'm starting to feel bad about it,
you guys, I'm starting not to feel good about myself
and I'm starting not to feel good about it. Yeah,
Like I'm feeling lonely and disconnected, and I'm kind of
completely fucking clueless about how to make friends, and I
(20:51):
think I'm scared of the rejection of making friends. I'm like,
I think because I'm also kind of struggling with like
my identity and said of self, Like I'm also struggling
with like anxieties about like, oh well people.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Even really like like me, or like what are we
going to talk about? And like all these things.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like I just like, I don't know if you guys
feel this way, but like I just haven't had to
make friends, like be actively making friends.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
In so long.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Like even when I got to college, I didn't have
to like try so hard to make friends because I
was in this really specialized program at Elon like getting
my BFA. Each class there had like twenty to twenty
five kids in it. There was only eighty kids in
the program. We had parties every week, and so like
I kind of was put into this like sorority almost
(21:39):
like this built in club when I got into college,
so I didn't have to work that hard to meet people.
Like obviously, like I formed my closer friendships out of
like the group of eighty people, but those people were
just like put in front of my face, whereas now,
being an adult, like I have to actively go seek
(22:00):
those friendships.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
And it makes me so scared.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
It makes me so scared because yeah, I'm just like,
oh God, like what if nobody wants to be my friend,
or like what if I'm unable to find anybody to
be my friend? And so yeah, I'm just having a
lot of clueless moments about like my social disconnection and
feeling self conscious about, you know, my lack of a
(22:23):
big social circle and wondering how to change that. And
I wanted to bring it up because I am a
little bit embarrassed like admitting this to y'all. And I
can imagine that this is probably not like an unusual
feeling that like, you know, some people postgrad or put
(22:43):
into situations like my friend Aaron with SNL kind of
like my college program. They have like classes like the
page program, that's what it's called, and so you're with
this group of like thirty kids, and you're able to
like make friendships from that, right And so like, ugh,
I wish I was like I had something like that
right now. And yeah, I think I'm just like yearning
(23:06):
for friendship and or yearning for connection. Because also since
moving home, it's so interesting because you know, I talked
on the podcast when I lived in the city about
how like I just like wasn't happy like living in
the city, and now that I've moved back home as
much as as like, I love my parents and I'm
(23:27):
grateful for the situation that I'm in, Like I miss
being in the city, Like I miss having my own
space and like being closer to people. Like I'm feeling
isolated being in Westchester because all these like especially a
lot of the new connections that I've made through my
old job, Like they're all in the city, and to
(23:47):
get to the city can be a lot of freaking work,
Like I'm not gonna lie, Like there's a lot of
commuting involved, and like I don't have a car, Like
we only have one car at my house, and my
mom takes that to work every day. So like I'm
kind of stuck here, like stranded most of the time.
And so it's like, no wonder I'm feeling disconnected. There's
a lot of situational things. And my fingers are so
(24:09):
cross that this apartment that Olivy and I have been
like hopefully will work out.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Like I don't want to say too much because I
don't want to drink it. Like knock on wood, knock
on everything. You guys.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Hopefully I'll be able to come back soon and give
good news. But you know, hopefully i'll be back in
the city too. But two, hopefully i'll be back in
the city soon. But yeah, I'm definitely feeling completely clueless
about friendship and connection and being social. And I know
also that like talking to you guys in my DMS
has also made me feel better because it makes this
(24:41):
feel like a connection source for me, like I can
meet people through this and y'all can meet people and
and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
But we need to switch gears now.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
We're going to switch gears from being emotional and we're
going to get into gibbing and gabbing and yapping and
chatting about so many different things that are happening in
pop culture right now. We have Wicked Traders trailer and
cast came out. I don't know about y'all, but I
am so into Traders and I cannot wait for it
to come back. Also, I've been watching Love Island Australia,
(25:10):
So let's be pop culture clueless Garleys for a second
and get into that. Let's start with the Wicked review. Now,
I'm going to say this because the number one reason
I'm rerecording this episode was that I just feel like
when I went to talk about Wicked, I was very nervous.
I was nervous because everybody is having these life altering
(25:32):
reactions and responses to the Wicked movie, and I did not,
And it's making me judge myself and feel self conscious
about my love for Wicked. I'm not even gonna lie
to you guys, like I am embarrassed that I didn't
leave that movie theater hysterically crying. I'm embarrassed that I
was watching the movie and was so distracted by my
(25:58):
dislike of some of Ariana Grande's acting choices that like,
I wasn't able to really take in the movie. So
I will preface all of this with I'm going to
see the movie again tomorrow with one of my bestie's stuff.
I'm super excited about it. I love Wicked. Wicked is
the reason I started musical theater. I went and saw
(26:19):
the original cast with my parents in what was it
like twenty two thousand and three or something like that,
Like I was in third grade, I think, And I
don't even remember how or why they got the tickets.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I just remember like being at a family friend's.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Thing, and like we're like, oh yeah, we gotta leave
early because we're going to see Wicked. But that musical
changed my life, Like you guys, I would not be
the person I am today without Wicked because I saw
that musical when I was seven years old, and it
started my journey as a performer. I left that show
and could not stop singing the soundtrack like it was
(26:56):
my life. And my mom started to obviously hear me
singing around the house and growing up, like if you
look at baby pictures of me, like homegirl was always
in a boa and her princess heels.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
She loved to perform.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Like I think I've always been that type of girl,
but Wicked is what really pulled it out of me
as a kid and made my parents realize it too,
And so when they heard me singing about the house,
they were like, you're actually like not that bad, Like
why don't we get you into singing lessons? And so
it started my journey, Like I started taking vocal lessons
(27:31):
with a local teacher when I was seven years old
and literally never stopped. I can remember my childhood voice
teacher coming over for the first time. She brought the
Wicked score. We sang Popular Popular was my first ever
vocal recital song, Like that's what I sang at the
end of the year of my first year of vocal lessons.
And so this show has had such a profound like
(27:54):
impact on my life. It started my career and life
in performing a musical theater and singing, and.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So to not have this.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Like literally like hysterical response to it kind of made
me feel embarrassed. Like I remember walking out of the
theater and Olivia was like, what did you think?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And like I was just like, why am I not crying?
Why am I not sobbing? Why do I not feel
like my life is changed? Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
However, I think there's a couple things that like contributed
to all of this that I want to get into.
And I'm hoping that by seeing the movie a second time,
I can kind of just like sit back and relax
and not put so much pressure on myself to have
a reaction to something and just take it in and
enjoy it. Because what I did experience watching Wicked was
(28:49):
that this is the piece of art that made me
so much of who I am today, and that's what
made me emotional. And I can literally like feel my
tears a little bit coming, Like I was watching it
and I was just remembering like me, just falling in
love with theater and falling in love with singing and
(29:09):
falling in love with being up.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
On a stage.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And that's what I was feeling during that show, in
during the movie, in that like emotional way. Anyways, onto
my thoughts. So first opinion. First opinion about this movie
is I hate fucking social media. Social media ruins everything,
you guys, because I think the whole reason I had
(29:36):
so much self judgment towards my reaction to this movie
was because everybody and their mother was hyping up this
movie to the nth degree online. If you're a theater
kid like me, you are on Wicked TikTok right now,
like you are not not on Wicked TikTok. And so
I have been taking in so much content about this movie.
(29:56):
I've been watching all their press interviews. I've been watching
friends like who are in like the influencing world go
and review it like people you trust going to these premieres,
like of course I'm watching all of these you know
Chrys solsin Eli Ryoh, like all these you know, big
mega theater influencers go and rave about the movie, hysterically
(30:17):
cry like I was in taking it all. So my
expectations were so high. I was like, this movie is
going to change America, Like this movie is going to
be like life altering for me. And so when I
went to my local AMC Zobe cinema on Wednesday at
(30:39):
six o'clock, and I wasn't a brand new person after
walking out of that theater, Like I.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Was like, what's wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Am I not true theater kid?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And I definitely think the hype on social media contributed
to me feeling maybe a bit disappointed by the movie.
And I think other people have had this reaction as well,
Like I'm finally starting to see some content of other
people who were like okay, wait, is is anybody else
feeling like not totally life altered by the Wicked movie?
(31:13):
And once I started seeing that stuff, I was like, okay,
Like maybe my opinion and my experience is valid, because literally,
like I was not seeing anything on social media about
like the experience that I was having. And so all
this to say, I definitely think the hype on social
media all the content. All the exposure raised my bar
(31:37):
so fucking high that no matter how good the movie
was or is, like, it was never going to reach
the expectation I had in my head because social media
made it like totally unrealistic. Okay, so now into like
actual opinions about the movie. My most controversial opinion about
(31:58):
the Wicked movie is I personally did not love Arianna
Grandi's performance as Glinda. Don't come for me, Please do
not come for me. I am not an Ari hater, Okay.
I had no qualms with her being cast in this role.
I thought this was great, this is her dream, and
(32:20):
I will say this, I agree with everybody saying it
is beautiful to watch somebody live out their dreams, both
her and Cynthia Rivo. It is beautiful to watch that
because I have dreams and I hope that one day
when those dreams come true or like dreams that I
don't even know that I have come true, like, people
(32:41):
will be happy for me. So I'm not a woman
hater and I'm not like somebody that can't feel joy
for other people. Right, it was so cool to see
somebody's dream come true, like that video of her where
they tell her that she's playing Glinda, like ugh, Like
it makes my heart so happy because as a theater
girl and is somebody that has experienced a lot of
(33:03):
rejection in this theater world. Like when you get something
like a role that you want to play, like it
is so exciting. It is this breath of like exhilaration.
You're like, oh my god, I did it, Like I
am going to get to fully play and realize this
role that I really wanted. So that is what I
(33:25):
will say about that, is that I had no qualms
with her playing this role. I think for me personally,
I was distracted a bit by like, oh, this is
Ariana Grande playing Glinda. So I think like at first
I was in that headspace because with Cynthia Aarrivo, I
(33:49):
felt there was such a transformation to Alphaba into the
fourth Wall. Whereas Ariana, I don't want to say she's
acting out Glinda in the real world, but she's definitely
portraying a lot of the character in herself in the
(34:11):
real world. She is definitely bringing the character to her
facial expressions, to how she's posing on the red carpet,
to how she's speaking, and you know, Austin Butler Elvis.
He was literally talking like Elvis for four hundred fucking years,
and that was annoying. Like I get it, some people
(34:32):
really method act and really immerse themselves in that character,
and the lines can get blurred. However, I think that
line blurredness is hard when you're trying to get into
the world of the movie and get into this other
thing that's not real, into the story, right, because now
(34:55):
I'm watching it and I'm like, oh, like, this is
how are you like?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
This is this?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
This is just Arianna, you know what I mean, versus Cynthia, Like,
at least for me personally, Like I don't feel like
she's being Alphaba Elfie in real life, Like I feel
like she is Cynthia Rivo. And then when I saw
her in Wicked, she transformed into Alphaba. And then another
thing about Ariana's acting choices that I didn't love as
(35:23):
much is I feel like she brought a lot of timid, meek,
demure energy to her rendition of uh Glinda. I felt,
especially in that first forty five minutes two hour of
the movie. I felt like, yeah, it was just too
(35:43):
timid and demure for me. She was making acting choices
and literally, I was getting frustrated. I was like, girl, like,
why are you being so timid? Why are you being
so oh like like stan not stan Offish, but like
and I don't want to use the word weak, but
like kind of weak. I was like, ye, yes, Glinda
is ditsy like whooe kind of.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
But she isn't weak.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
She isn't timid or at least all the actresses that
I've seen Plague Glinda on Broadway, I think, bring this
strength to her. Like Glinda knows who she is. Yes,
she has this ditsy, maybe character comedy esque vibe to her,
but like she is strong, she stands in her power,
(36:31):
in who she is, and sometimes Ariana Grande wasn't giving
me that, and so I think immediately that threw me
off when I started watching the movie, was just like
how she was choosing to play this role and that
I didn't agree with it, and that's okay, Like, obviously
(36:51):
so many people are taken by her performance, and I'm
not saying I wasn't taken by it. Like Popular was
so good. I loved her rendition of Popular. I love
what she brought to it. However, I just think a
lot of the times throughout the movie, I was somewhat
I think, distracted by her being Arianna and that whole
fourth wall break. And I was also not agreeing with
(37:14):
how she was choosing to play this role, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I was she brought a bit more strength to it.
And I also think something that contributed to how I'm
feeling is I really felt like her makeup was so
washed out. I don't know if anybody else agree agrees
with that, but I literally felt her face was just
this blank canvas like that they only did foundation, so
her face sort of felt lifeless to me throughout the movie,
(37:40):
like I wish they gave her some more blush, Like
I was just like, I want your face to have
more life, Like I want there to be yeah, like
more dynamic to your face. Her costumes were incredible. I mean,
who doesn't love Glinda's costumes. Glinda's costumes are the best, Like,
especially as a pink, girly girl, Like I'm just like,
oh my god, I want to be in her wardrobe.
(38:03):
But I feel like her face was just so watched
out and bland that it was bothering me a bit too.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
So I'm excited to see the.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Movie again, and I really want to approach Glinda Ari
from a fresh point of view and maybe try and
see what she's trying to do with her acting choices,
what she may be trying to do with the role
being a bit more timid and whatnot. That's just my opinion.
(38:33):
We can agree to disagree. You may not like it,
but I wanted to share it because I'm curious if
anybody else feels the same way.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Olivia.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
You know, I talked to Olivia about it and they
sort of saw what I was seeing as well. But
I'm curious if you feel the same way. Please let
me know, because I literally have nobody to talk about
it with. I literally have no one to talk about
it because I'm scared. I'm scared, you guys, I'm scared
people are gonna yell at me and be mean to
me by sharing my opinion and like ugh, like you know,
but I want to share because it's something I haven't
(39:01):
heard before, and so I'm just curious if anybody else
saw it or felt that from her performance. So please
please DM me if you did. My next thing is
Cynthia Rivo was incredible. She was incredible. She was my
favorite part of that movie. Hands down, I saw this
opinion on TikTok and it literally put exactly into words
(39:24):
how I feel about her performance. She brought an emotional
depth to Alphaba that I have never seen anybody do.
It's funny because I'm talking about how like Engalinda, I
have personally liked, like not a characterature, but like you know,
it could be a little bit more theater acting in
that way with that role. At least I've enjoyed that
(39:46):
in the past. However, on Broadway, I feel like Alpha
Ba has kind of taken on a bit more of
a character too. Can kind of be cheesy sometimes with
the theater acting, but oh god, miss Arivo just brought
me to a whole other emotional dimension with how much
(40:08):
emotion and story she put into her rendition of Alpha Ba.
Like you could see in her eyes throughout that entire
movie that she was immersed in that world, that she
was Alpha Ba, that she was going through things.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I think you lose that in the Broadway show.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I think because the camera is so close to their
faces and you can get so many different, like yet
close up shots, wide shots of Alphaba's story that you
are just able to see that character like you aren't
able to see her on Broadway. You are able to
feel her emotional depth like you aren't able to on Broadway,
(40:54):
like Cynthia Rivo's eyes throughout the entire performance just had
me locked. There was just a story in her eyes
one hundred and ten percent of the time that she
was on screen. She held it all throughout the show.
It's been interesting to hear like bits and pieces about
how she approached the role in our interviews because it
(41:16):
reminds me of how I approach acting very much in
that like she would want to do takes like all
the way through because she wanted to continue and build
that momentum of a character and I and I love
that choice. The last show that I was in at
Elon was this song cycle called a Fugitive Fugitive Songs. Yeah,
(41:38):
I think that's what it was called. And I played Alicia,
and because I hadn't been in anything else during my
time at Elon, I really put a lot of character
work into that. And let me tell you, when you
do the work, your performance shows. She did the mother
fucking work because that character was emotionally there a hundred
(41:59):
and ten percent of the time she was always in check.
She always knew which part of the story and her
character journey she was at, and she brought that to
us in the biggest and best ways possible.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
And it reminded me of.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
When I did that role at school, because I really
built that life for the character. I did a lot
of like character paperwork to figure out who this character was,
what world she lived in, what she had been through.
And when you do that work, it helps your acting.
(42:35):
You're singing your storytelling so much, at least for me
as the actor and performer, Like it's just I'm able
to do my job so much easier because I am
Sarah Lyddy here and then once I step into the
world of the play or the musical, I have a
whole world for that character. And you can tell that
(42:56):
Cynthia did that. And I'm not saying Ariana Grande didn't
she one hundred percent. I think did as well. But
I was just really taken by Cynthia's eyes the entire time,
like I was just locked in and she really brought
me somewhere. So I'm excited to watch her do this
again tomorrow evening. I will say the only part of
the story and how they chose to depict it in
(43:19):
the movie. That I didn't like with Alphaba was the
last scene, which I know is crazy because it was
defying gravity, and I mean Cynthia sang it beautifully. However,
for me, in the last like sixteen bars of the song,
they did a lot of stopping and starting. If you've
seen the movie, she like does one rift and then
you know, her broom drops and she starts falling and
(43:42):
she sees her younger self and then she lifts up
and then she does another rift and then she flies
around and then she does the last rift. And for
me personally, I felt that it chopped up the momentum.
I feel like it didn't drive us to the end
for me personally, Like literally, Olivia and I looked and
laughed at each other because you know, Cynthia Rivo's like
(44:07):
defying gravity rift. The end rift that she does has
I don't want to say, become a meme, but it
has become a pop culture moment, like people have been
doing it.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
So much.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Sorry, that was like really cracky because I went out
on Friday, as I said, and my voice has been
very tired ever since. Anyways, that like her rift has
become so well known in pop culture, and so I
feel like with all these stops and starts and pauses,
like it made me chuckle because I knew what was coming, right,
(44:39):
I knew the whole was coming, Versus I would have
loved to have seen it drive a bit more like
vocally and stay there like when she starts. So if
you O care, find me like I wanted her to
keep I wanted it to keep going, not the like
(44:59):
pause sing, pause sing. It just took the drive and
the momentum out of it for me personally. So yeah,
those are all my thoughts on Wicked right now, honestly,
Like I think, I just feel so taken about, like
this is so losory, This is so losory and weird
(45:21):
of me. But literally, I'm just so taken aback that
I didn't have this like life changing experience like everybody else.
And like we all know social media is fake, So
I bet there is a lot of fakeness to the
tears into the oh my god me before the Wicked movie,
Like I bet there is fakeness to all of that,
(45:44):
Like we're all putting on somewhat of a performance when
we get on social media, right Like whether we like
it or not, but I'm hoping that tomorrow, especially because
I'm going with one of my like theater friends, like
it'll it'll be a different experience. Actually, the girl I'm
going with, Steph We sang what is this feeling at
her senior recital and she had shared it on social
media today and it made me happy and it made
(46:05):
me be like, wow, girl, like, maybe you should start
singing again. New character arc for Sarah Lettie, We'll see,
we see. I did warm up before this, especially because
my voice was so tired. Okay, I'm gonna get into
Love Island Australia like super duper quickly. I bet like
five percent of you are even watching it. But if
you're not watching it, this is your sign. This is
your sign to watch Love Island Australia. It is so good,
(46:30):
Like I love a good season of Love Island. Sometimes
I feel like at the beginning, Love Island is definitely
a slow burn, Like those first four to five episodes.
You're either going to get me or you're not gonna
get me, because look, they're getting to know each other,
they're meeting each other, so there is a lot of
(46:50):
slow energy to it all. There isn't a bunch of
drama yet. But let me tell you, Love Island Australia
brought the drama so quickly and it hooked me. It's
sort of like the current US season and that happened
over the summer that everyone was so taken by. And
that's what I feel like will make or break Love
Island season is those first four or five episodes.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
If that cast is not.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Able to lock in on drama and connection quickly enough,
the viewer gets bored. I feel like it was the
last season of UK. Like I tried to watch it.
I couldn't get through it. You guys, I couldn't do
it because there was just something that wasn't there for me.
But that isn't the case with Love Island Australia. Let
(47:35):
me tell you they have brought it since the first second. Okay,
So I'm going to go through some of the characters
and storylines that I have enjoyed or have opinions on,
like super quickly, because I didn't think that my wicked
review would take so long, but it did. Love Island
Australia starts off super strong with the meanest mean girls
(47:55):
I have ever seen mean in my life. Like I
was watching and I was like, Hey, the blonde one
is on ten percent, Regina George Zanthy is what's Amanda
Seyfrid's Oh god, Regina Gretchen, Oh my god? Why am
I blanking on Amanda Seifried's character in Mean Girls Karen Karen. Okay,
(48:17):
so Hannah, Regina Zanthy, Karen, and she's not stupid, but
she's twenty one years old and you can tell it.
You can tell it throughout her time on the island,
with her emotional maturity about her situation. Okay, and then
we have Aileisha who is Gretchen. Aileisha was insufferable, insufferable
(48:42):
to watch, and honestly, I felt like she brought out
the mean girl in Hannah because ever since Ailiicha Alicha
got voted off pretty early. Oop spoiler, sorry guys, but
she gets voted off pretty early. And it was interesting
those first couple episodes because it honestly felt like there
was a divide between the girls. There was Hannah Zanty
and Aileisha, and then there was em and me me
(49:05):
on the other side, and then the bombshell who came
in sop because Hannah Zanti and Aileisha were like hating
on the other girls, and I feel like that doesn't
happen a lot on Love Island. Like, you know, even
though girls people boys can get jealous too, Like even
though people are coming in and manet or making connections
(49:26):
with somebody that you have connections with, like whatever they're
kind of being, they're usually able to like put that
aside and still form these like close friendships. But in
the first couple of episodes, I was honestly worried about
the female friendships on this season because it felt like
the mean girls, you know, were just so rude and
(49:47):
hating on the other women in the villa, and I
did not like that. I was like, no, I was like,
you all are acting so insufferable right now, those three
mean girls, like I was like pa Lee's they were
just being so so rude. And when the first bombshell
SOF comes in, like the way Hannah and Elisha were
acting were just oh god, it was so nasty, and
(50:09):
like I feel like Xanthy was just their little like minion,
like homegirl just like doesn't have enough of a personality
or sense of self that she just like got swept
away in it. So when Alisha was taken out pretty early.
I was happy about it because it kind of softened
Hannah a bit, or at least what I was viewing
was like, Okay, the women over the next few episodes
(50:29):
really came together, and Hannah was being nicer and like
they were forming bonds, like you know, I'm on episode
twelve now, and now Hannah really likes the girl Sofa
that she was an absolute bitch too at the beginning, okay,
And so I was like, thank god, okay, because women
need each other, We need our friends like you need
them to get through. And I didn't want to see
(50:50):
a season like where the girls were just being mean
to each other, like that's not cool, right. And the
one guy that's really standing out for me right now,
twelve episodes in is this guy named Zaane. He was
with the girl Zanthe, who has no sense of self,
Like this girl was like a twenty one twelve year old,
like she would sob you guys, hin hysterics about this
(51:16):
man that she maybe knew for a week, like literally
after two days sobbing. And look a part of me
gets why she was sobbing because this man did not
give one fucking like shit about her. He did not
care about that girl whatsoever, Like she was like just
hooking up and maybe sex for him in the villa.
Like he never talked about her when you saw them together,
(51:39):
Like did they even talk about anything? Like no, they
were just like making out like and he didn't give
her the time of day. And so I get it,
Like I think she was seeing that in real time though,
Like this guy doesn't really care about me, like we're
together because like he can easily hook up with me
and like stay with me while he waits for something better.
But this guy Zain is so interesting to me because
(52:00):
he has been a fuck boy for lack of a
better term, for the last seven years. He's been sleeping
around with whoever he wants to, not forming any serious
emotional connections, at least to what he's saying in the villa,
And now all of a sudden, you know, he wants
something serious. He's like, I'm getting older, like you know,
when the girls are asking him like, oh, what did
you come here for, He's like yeah, like I'm looking
(52:20):
for something serious. However, it's a great lesson in like
you cannot like that whole taxi cab theory with guys, right,
So they'll fuck around for as long as they want
and when they're ready to get ready.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
When they're ready to get ready, when they're.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Ready to settle down and get married, they'll see the
first taxi cab, first girl.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
And go, she's it right.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
And I don't think he's doing that completely, but I
bring that up because it makes me realize and maybe
will make you realize as a viewer, Like you can't
go from being emotionless and just having emotionless sex, hooking up,
not giving a fuck for so many years too. I
want to be in a committed relationship and expect that
(53:02):
you're going to know how to be in that committed relationship. Like,
if I've learned anything in my twenties, it is that
romantic relationships are work. And I don't think it's bad
that they are hard work, That their work, that their
effort that you need to put in. However, this man
knows nothing about being in a committed relationship, Like he
(53:24):
just wants to be in one, right, But you can
tell his lack of emotional maturity, like it is so high.
He literally doesn't even know how to deal with the
crying girl. And now he's in a new couple with
this other girl who's super into fitness, and you guys,
all they're talking about is meal prepping and fitness, Like
it is so fucking boring. And I think it's so
(53:45):
funny that he thinks that that's a real connection because
it's not like he obviously thinks she's hot, but like
they're talking nothing beyond jim Tan, meat and rice. Like literally,
it's really interesting to see that man interact and think
that he's gonna walk away with away from this. I'm like, bro,
you need to go to therapy first. You need to
(54:07):
go on some dates and really figure out how to
emote and what you want in a relationship, because right
now what you're doing is just not it. Like he
just like does not give me good energy. The girl,
m oh my god, I'm obsessed with her, you guys, Like,
I'm like, how are you not queer? I bet she
is to some extent, but like she gives me gay
queer vibes. And I just think she is one of
(54:29):
those people that is just like so effortlessly cool, Like
she wears the coolest stuff, Like her tattoos look so
cool on her, her hair is so cool, her fluffy eyebrows,
like I'm obsessed, Like I'm just so obsessed with her,
and she's with this guy now his name is Taylor,
but I think he may be turning his head, which
is sad because I think it's been really cute to
(54:49):
see them like be in their relationship because they're very
like different from each other's normal type, and I think
that like goes to show like you can you know
fall anybody. You never know what's gonna happen. So I've
really loved watching them live out there romance.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
But I think it's gonna stop, which is so sad.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Hannah's fucking nuts, like yes, Regina George and apparently she
is going to be going into her Regina George two
point zero era with these two new girls that just
came in. I unfortunately sold some spoilers. But she is
a hoot, that girl. When she gets mad at her
man Nico, oh god, like she gets caught crazy, like,
(55:30):
oh my god, you could just see the like sea
thing of anger on her face.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
She's funny.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
But I all this to say, like I say all
this to say so much, but you should watch Love
Island Australia. It is so good and please watch it
so I have somebody to talk about it with because
currently have no one to talk about it with, and.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
I want to talk about it with somebody.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
So I hope you enjoyed chatting with me, and hopefully
you got in your comfies too, or you know, you're
in your car driving, or you're somewhere where you're cozy,
because that's how I'm feeling right now in my pajamas.
You know, very quickly, I've kind of stopped dressing up
and putting on a lot of makeup for the podcast,
and I wouldn't I'd be lying to you if I
(56:12):
said that. I think maybe it affects like the podcast
performance in some ways, like I'm not beautified with all
my makeup and like a cute outfit and whatever. And
I bet there'll be a point where I get back
to that at least a little bit. But I think
the era that I'm in right now, like being in
my childhood bedroom, like with the fire in the back,
(56:34):
it's cozy vibes for me, and yeah, I just kind
of want to like be able to be my most
vulnerable self with you guys, so that like you can
be that with me too, And that's me being in
my comfies right now, Like that's just who I am, comfies,
no makeup, pimple patches, like that's my era, especially not
having to like get up and get dressed for work.
(56:54):
So always feel free to put on your cozies and
listen to the pod. I feel like that's that's that's
the way to listen. Anyways, Thank you guys so much
for listening to this episode of the Completely Clueless podcast.
You can follow me on TikTok, the podcast on TikTok
as well. Let's do the podcast first at completely Coolest
pod on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube, and you can follow
(57:16):
me and all of my personal journeys on at Sarah
alis Lidy on TikTok and Instagram. Thank you guys again
so much for listening. Thank you for being clueless with me.
Thank you for dming me and supporting me again. You
have no idea how much it means to me. Love
you guys so much. Have a terrific Tuesday, have a
wonderful week, and do not forget to be motherfucking clueless.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
I love you guys.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
I leave you with that fine
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