Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
And now a tail well calculated to keep.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
You in.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Saft Spence in a Moment, Act one of that Real
Crazy Infinity, starring Jack Grimes and Richard Hollands and written
especially for suspense by Dick W. Dowling.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Like what do we do now?
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Man?
Speaker 5 (00:29):
I don't know. We're going to dig up some loots somewhere.
They still got our horns?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yeah, but do we blow them or howk them?
Speaker 5 (00:37):
We're gonna find a hot shop in this town?
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Oh man, this is a real drag. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:42):
All I want now is to get back to New York.
Well we need is one fast gig that pays enough
bread for traveling expenses.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Why don't we check with that tomato behind the counter
and see what the scoop is around here?
Speaker 6 (00:53):
Too?
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Crazy? Hey baby, Yeah, what'll it be? Jan Two more coffees? Please?
You got them? Hey, honey, what's the best way to
pick up a fast bark in town?
Speaker 7 (01:04):
Here?
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Make a fast crab?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
If this kid is not the Lenny Bruce, just a
touch of you, my boys, say, what kind of work
can you do?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well?
Speaker 5 (01:13):
We're musicians. We like to earn bus fare back to
New York.
Speaker 8 (01:16):
I ate much call from musicians around here except maybe
the church socials now.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
And then wow, any other kind of work.
Speaker 8 (01:23):
Well, there's strawberry picking over at Tanner's farm.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Yeah, no, no, no thanks. By the way, when is
the next BLUs in New York?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (01:31):
Never least? Why is not from here? You gotta go
clear over the centerville about sixty miles. Any chance of
getting a lift for somebody.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Likely this time and night? Well maybe a lot.
Speaker 8 (01:41):
Pardon me, Jenny, I couldn't help over here in these
gents me predicament.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
Maybe I can.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Help this here is Charlie Olden runs the radio shopping
town here, got TV too.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Oh that must be a gas. And I'm pleased to
meet you, Charlie. I'm Bud. This is loup.
Speaker 7 (01:55):
Likewise, hi, now.
Speaker 8 (01:58):
As I see it, If you gents could use it up
with dollars in a place to sleep right right, well,
I can supply you with both, if you'll do me
a little favor in return.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, listen, Clyde. What's the little favor?
Speaker 8 (02:10):
Some electronic equipment just came in from New York on
special lord, and I got to deliver it to a
place just out of town.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Now, if you boy gone it, Charlie, I knew he
was leading up to that, and I won't let you
do it.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
They have no mind here?
Speaker 7 (02:23):
Are you just mind your dishes?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I'm well not.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You've got no right tricking these here, straight tricking them.
Speaker 5 (02:28):
I'm willing to pay you mean you'll pay us to
deliver this electronic equipment?
Speaker 8 (02:32):
Yes, ten bucks between you and I'll drive you halfway?
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Why halfway?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Ah? Now you're asking stranger, Go on tell them why Charlie,
I'm dare you? Oh, hush up, Kenny, you're.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
Where's my mother in law?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
All right?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
What's the gimmick?
Speaker 7 (02:46):
He no gimmick?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Doll dance voices from the grave, Like, what are you
talking about? Baby? Voices from the grave. If you do,
like Charlie says, you're walking the land.
Speaker 7 (02:55):
Of the dead.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
You know this broad is talking to bug me lorc.
Let's have a straight story here, all right?
Speaker 7 (03:00):
Then don't listen to Jenny. No, she's like everybody around here.
He's scared of nothing at all.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Seems like you're the ones scared to live the stuff yourself.
Speaker 8 (03:07):
Oh, I ain't no such thing you said tonight? Uh well,
I just want to get home early tonight for Jane.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Where do we deliver this equipment to.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
Just outside town. Norvil Hagen's play.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Well, what's with this Hagen? Is he some kind of cook?
Speaker 7 (03:23):
Oh no, no, no, he's right friendly.
Speaker 8 (03:25):
He just maybe uh a little different, about as different
as Dracula. Pe Now, Jenny, you know that's just a
lot of silly talk.
Speaker 7 (03:36):
You gents want to make that ten dollars or not?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Well, how about it, Lou, Well we need some bread, man,
But like guy, I don't dig the Dracula bit.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Look, LOUI suppose this guy Hagen is at flip. There's
going to be three of us and only one of him, right, yeah,
I suppose. So we got nothing to lose, and we
need the bread, even if it's only ten beans. I
say we do it. Are you with me?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
All right? Man?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
But the first time this gig starts to.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Look flaky, I am cooling it to a man. Low
All right, mister Holling, you you gotta deal.
Speaker 8 (04:08):
Oh fine, boys, fine, let's get started.
Speaker 7 (04:11):
It's getting late.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Sure isn't out of the white place.
Speaker 8 (04:19):
Yeah, Old Norville likes his privacy.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
He likes bumpy roads too.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
Oh, Norvil don't care. He never comes into town.
Speaker 8 (04:26):
He just sends down for food and Electronics supplies about
once a month.
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Oh here we are, here.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
We are where?
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Like?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
All I see is the side of a cliff.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
There's a wooden stairway with a handrail leads all the
way up. Now, let's get the box out of the car.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I'm on a dark here. Isn't it a.
Speaker 9 (04:50):
Grave?
Speaker 8 (04:50):
The other end of his box? Low and walk straight ahead.
He'll come to a stairway.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Man, what's in here?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Rock?
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Here's a stairway. Now set it down?
Speaker 6 (05:02):
All right, now, what you fellas?
Speaker 8 (05:04):
Start up the stairs. I gotta get something from the car.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Okay, grab that ant? But how far up do we
have to go?
Speaker 7 (05:13):
Man?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I will see?
Speaker 5 (05:15):
Hey, what's he doing?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
Money's in your coat pocket?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Dancing god out? Hey?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Wait on there?
Speaker 9 (05:22):
Hey, up.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
It happened again.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Man, we're blowing the chorus with no lead.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
I'll never find a way back down there. That was
only one place to go. Grab the box, loo, and
let's start climbing. More coffee, gentlemen, No thanks, professor, too's
my limit and user?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Everything is cool? Man? Oh well, then I shall make
some hot coffee.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
No, no, man, I mean the call of the never mind.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Very well, well, I'd like to thank you again for
bringing my electronic supplies, and I hope you will be
my guests overnight.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Like I don't know, man, Oh, we'd appreciate it. We
don't have a car.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Oh I assume mister Olandrove you here.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Good old Charlie.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah, well, you don't know how happy I am to
get this equipment. I must replace some tubes in my phinophone.
If we've been working for several days and I've missed
my classical concerts.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
You have you dig classical music?
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Oh yes, yes, I love the old masters.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I think of them as dear friends.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I studied a little classical piano when I was a kid.
I don't remember much past the happy farmer though.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Oh yes, well, then I must prepare the infinophone immediately
and let you both enjoy some.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Of the great master works. Oh yeah, that'll be a gasser.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Do you have many records, professor?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Oh no, no, no, none at all. With the infinophone,
I don't need records.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
I say, it's a radio.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
No, not exactly. It's my own invention. Let me explain
it to you. All the sound in our world gradually
becomes inaudible and trails off into infinity. I've simply created
a machine for tuning into infinity. Yes, this way I
(07:34):
can hear great master works in their original form, exactly
as they were played centuries ago. Do you understand then,
I lost you back there when you're gonna heat some
more coffee.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Yeah, I think I understand, professor. You just tune into
infinity and pick.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Up sounds of the past, right, yes, yes, let's it exactly.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Must be an interesting your hobby.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Oh, it's it's more than that. See, the classics are
my life.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
As a child.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
I wanted to be a great musician, but well I'm
a scientist in state.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
That's how the chorus goes.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Yes, I confess I don't understand much about life in
our modern society out there in the world. I mean,
I never seem to do or say the right things.
I was considered rather.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Odd, while the world out there is pretty simple, professor.
It's just one big scramble for bread.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Bread.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
Yeah, man, like you know, a loot money.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Oh, yes, I guess that is important.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Yeah, I guess it is. Like I guess we have
to breathe.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
It's the most unpleasant part of life for me.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Or once I really don't care anymore, I may soon
become part of the great classical past.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I love so well.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
What do you mean, professor?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I mean, well, all in good time? And now would
you like to see and hear the infinite phone? You're
sure sure, professor, good it will follow me.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Gentlemen, We're not going with him, are we? That guy?
He's flaky.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Let's go along with the gag. Maybe we can hype
him out of something that's worth selling. Yeah, but what
do we.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Want to hype a pool guy like that for? We're broke?
Is why?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
Besides, if we play our coming gentlemen, yes, sir, yes, sir,
we wouldn't miss this for the world. By plugging the
patch cord into the side panel terminal and turning the
selected dial, we can choose any past century or.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
You know we wish. Well, go ahead, gentlemen, try it.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Oh that's okay, man, I'm a believer. He said try it. Now,
go ahead and try it.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Okay, okay, I've said it for about forty six BC.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Now tune it in.
Speaker 9 (10:00):
Con scriptus fabulous mandatus me me gaisari, gaisari, Like what
was that mean?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I'm afraid it's Julius Caesar again. He's always making speeches.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
You mean that was the actual voice of Jurious Caesar.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Oh yes, I recognize him immediately.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Oh yeah, all right, I'll buy what's the gimmick?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
But there is no gimmick. That's how the infinophone works
where it's really not so amazing, gentlemen, Why my new invention,
the infinite transitor, can actually well, that can wait. Perhaps
if I tune in a later period on the infinophone.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Man, this cat sounds familiar.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
As we get something worth Why talk?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
That's Brogan. I know that sounds anywhere.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
That's funny, but I never heard this record. That's no record.
That's Bragon himself. Ah, what a crazy course. He's blowing
his heart out. Prop Can we record this?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Oh? Why yes? But I don't seem why we.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
Got to record it.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
He's simple enough, Chris said, button side depended, and it
starts a tape recorded in any school.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I'll make sure the machine starts.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
And what are you doing this for? I won't you
get it? This will be the greatest discovery in the
history of jazz. We'll be able to name our price
with any record company in the country, and we'll never
run out of materials. Lo we're rich. Yeah, but what
about the professor. He'll never know the difference. But what
if he thinkes it we're doing.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
We'll blow the whole bit.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
Man, then we'll cut him in.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
The tape machine is working perfectly crazy, and.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I hope you, gentlemen, would excuse me. I must get
back to work on my infinite trensit.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Hey, yeah, sure so you go right a head, professor. Oh,
stop worrying.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
This is it.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
From here on in we swing man. No more crummy
club dates, no lousy one night is we're rich man,
we're rich. Hey, Lo watched the vinum and that tape machine.
The naedle's kicking away over.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh man, listen to that man blue, Low, will you
pay attention, low fens.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Listen watch the needle on that machine. Low Low, Will
you take off those headphones and just watch the needle?
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Huh oh sorry, bought I am Oh but man, think
that crazy? Oh go go man Gove, you're going to
go right out the window. You lost the pool recordings
this week. Come on, low, get with it.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Uh another pleasant dinner, eh, and now we.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Pour the tea loo. Oh, thank you, and bad and
myself now my pipe.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You know, gentlemen, has been sometime since I really enjoyed
my pipe this way. I must say it's been pleasant
having you with me these past few weeks.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
We're glad we came.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
I'd almost forgotten it was what it was like to
have people around. You know, my neighbors aren't very neighborly.
Perhaps it's just as well. They'd probably think me strange.
In any case, I won't be around much longer.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
You don't mean you're living here, professor, Yes, I do bend. Yeah, Well,
what about the enfinophone?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
I'll have no need for it, But I'm not sure
I should leave it behind. It might do more harm
than good. No, I haven't decided yet.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
A professor, think of the pleasure you could give the world.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Well, if it can give the world as much pleasure
as it seems to have given you and Lou, I
might be inclined.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
To leave it here.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Lou especially seems entranced by the music he's been listening
to and recording.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Hey, Lou, yallo, you're listening.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Oh well, yes, sure you seem to have found something you.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Like, something I like like. Man, I'm stoned. I never
heard that wailing in my life. Bonnie and the Bird
President arrest you know, I would give up the best
gig in the world just to sit in with those.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Cats for kicks. No bread man, just kicks, not professor.
Is why I'm the one who us to worry about
the bread. My boy, lou here is just living for kids.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You're not a dreamer, but men, Louis.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
While dreamers aren't doors, and doors are the cats who
get things done.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Yes, of course, but every now and then one of
us dreamers gets things done too. Well, if you recuse me, gentlemen,
I I'll get back to my work inside.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
Huhm, you'll hear what he said.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, he's leaving.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Well, you know what happens if he does, we're out
of business, especially if he takes the infentophone with him,
and we bet get a lot of taping done and soon.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, you know what, this is something way out about
the way he talks about leaving.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
What do you mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It's like he's happy, like the way pres used to
look when he was blowing a great chorus. You know.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Yeah, yeah, Well tomorrow I'm blowing a great chorus right
out of here, and you're gonna stay and make tapes
all day? Who where are you going? I'm going in
and see Max Weston at Flip Records, and I'm taking
a small sample of our music with me, who work
for Well, I'm going to offer him exclusive right to
a recently discovered collection of recordings by the late and
legendary figures of jazz. A collection that's out of this world. Well, Max,
(16:15):
it's out of this world.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
It's out of this world, all right.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
What's the gimmick, Well, there's no gimmick, Max, it's legit.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
This is for real. That this music. That's that's the mccause.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
How did you get it?
Speaker 3 (16:27):
All right, I'll admit it.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
It was dumb luck. I found the recordings and some
tang twent and plut them for peanuts.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
That figures, I guess. All right, what's the deal?
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Twenty five thousand plus twenty five percent of gross sales.
I'm a spot on your A and O staff for
me and my pot.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
That is highway robbery.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Is it a deal?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well, okay, you got to bring me enough of this
stuff to make it worth my while.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
I don't worry, Max, My partner's taken care of that
right now. Lower Red, it's off set, okay, put down
your axe for a minute. What do I want to talk?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah? Lord, do you hear me?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
What's wrong with you? Man?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I just made it?
Speaker 5 (17:22):
I almost goofed, but I just made it, just made one.
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Who you know?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I almost started looking forward to recording that stuff and
selling it.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
What do you mean almost? It's all set. We're rich
and we got steady jabs.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Besides, without me, man, without me?
Speaker 5 (17:35):
What are you nuts?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Why?
Speaker 7 (17:36):
Why?
Speaker 9 (17:36):
Why?
Speaker 5 (17:37):
What's wrong? I was listening to some jazz on the infentiphone.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
This cat is he's blowing his heart out, see and
I think he will. There's no kicks and selling somebody
else's jazz.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I want something to my own.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You'll have something of your own, A big fat bank account.
Anybody can have that, but not everybody can lower course
with pres or bunny he lo low baby?
Speaker 5 (17:57):
What do you choose? Stuff or something? I Clyde, where's
the tape your mate today?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Huh? I'm not sure I made one? You what?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I started the tape and then I heard those cats
the swinging. Why I picked up my horn and joined in.
I guess the tape is still run. No, no, no,
you you you you you gotta be kidding pardon.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Me, gentlemen, I have come to say goodbye. Goodbye? Yes, Lou,
everything is ready now.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
Well, where are you going?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
For a professor to become part of the great classical past?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I love so well?
Speaker 5 (18:33):
I don't think you so.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I've completed my infinite transitor. In a few minutes, I
should be transported back into the past.
Speaker 7 (18:42):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
I think not, Bud, I hope not. I'm counting on it.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So po boy.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Well, gentlemen, goodbye, and thank you once again for your kindness.
I shall never forget you, Professor Hagen. Yes, Lou, just how.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
Far back do you expect to go?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Low?
Speaker 5 (19:01):
Are your nuts?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Well? As far back as I wish? I suppose? Why?
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Well?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I what I mean is, could you drop me off
in the thirties?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Has everybody flipped around here?
Speaker 3 (19:13):
We could sessionally try crazy?
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Wait till I pack my hand.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Lo this is ridiculous, lay man, But I gotta find out, Bud,
this is so long.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
I'm going to kind of miss you.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
We've been pals a long time and you've always been
on the level with me, and well, so long.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, little Well, I'll see you in
ten minutes when you come back on Goodbye Bud in
good luck. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure you're later, Man light Bud.
I hope you find something you really dig and when
you do, man play it cool. So long pow h
doesn't dispread everything but two the two of them are flipped.
(19:53):
I don't know who's nott you of the professor Alowe,
oh Man, I hope you got something on that tape. Yeah,
give him a few minutes out there.
Speaker 10 (20:01):
I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
While.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
The papers gave it quite a play, they said, mad
professor and musician die an explosion. I woke up here
in the hospital. There was nothing left of the professor's place,
not a trace of the professor or Lou. It's a
funny thing, though. Lou did make that tape before he left.
(20:42):
He taped his own solos. And here's the guess. All
the jazz pretty explain. It's a great stuff they ever heard. Yeah,
I'm going to make a bundle of loot on Los recordings. Well,
I just don't care. Doesn't seem important. All I can
think about.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
It is poor all little.
Speaker 9 (21:03):
Well.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
I hope he's.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Having a ball out there. And real crazy infinity.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Saucepence, you were listening to that real Crazy Infinity, starring
Jack Grimes and Richard Holland, and written especially for suspense
by Dick W. Dowling. Sauce Spence is produced and directed
(22:06):
by Bruno Zerato, junior music supervision by Ethel Huber, sound
patterns by Joseph Cabibo. Heard in Tonight's story were Cork
Benson as Professor Norvil Hagen, Bob Dryden as Charlie Olan,
Athena Lord as Jenny, Robert Reddick as Max Wesson, and
(22:29):
Guy Repp as the voice of Julius Caesar.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
This is due at Mett Speaking.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Listen again next week when we return with stand In
for Murder, written by Gladys F. Gallant, another tale well
calculated to keep you in
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Sauce Spence