B.A.D.D. 2 BUSINESS: Family Matters — Traditions & Generational Curses | LIVE ON Da Crew Podcast & Media Network, hosted by Shynen Saffron| - DA CREW Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
I know you can see me, can you hear me?
All right?

Speaker 2 (00:16):
All right, good evening, Good evening. Welcome to another episode
of Bad to Business. I am shining Saffron. Thank you
for hopefully trying to stick in with me. We have
some technical difference difficulties, but you know, dealing with systems,
it just happens like that. So I'm going to give

(00:38):
a couple of people a minute to check in with me.
I know there's some people who wanted to hear this conversation.
Y'all have been hitting me up asking me what's going on.
I've been trying to, you know, work some things out,
but thank you for sticking in.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Jazz you can right, yep, I sure came.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
I got a co host.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Her name is Jazz.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Jazz.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
You don't mind.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
I'm gonna give a couple of peace for a second
to check in before I, you know, go into this show.
I think this is really gonna be a good one.
I thank you for co hosting with me, making sure
that it's smoothly, and so let's give the people a
minute to check in. Hello, Hello, Hello, Jess. How are

(01:21):
you feeling tonight? Let's go ahead and get this rolling.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
How you feeling. It's a good day. It's Friday, it's
the weekend. Things are happening. It's a great day. Man.
How are you.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I'm good. I'm good.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
I don't have any complaints.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
And even if I did, I mean God is already
solving those.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
So I'm working it out.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
I again, I thank you for sticking in with me.
I know we have some technical difficulties connecting and stuff,
so thank you for sticking with me. As I said,
I'm just giving some people a second to check back in,
and I'm getting back to some people about uh, they

(02:05):
were looking for the show, so we are looking for
them to tap in, tap in, tap in with your girl,
tap in with your girl, tap in with your girls.
Thank So we're gonna keep this moving right along.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
So on, and we're out of time.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Anybody who cannot tap in right now, you can go
ahead and check the replays on YouTube, on ipard, on substack,
on all these things that you subscribe to. At the
Crew Podcast twenty three, you can follow up and find
out what you missed. So right now, I'm not gonna
be too concerned on who cannot. Hey, hey, hey ya yam,

(02:51):
glad you could tap in? Glad you can, all right,
we know the ball is rolling now, all right, we're
able to tap in. Everybody's able to tap in. Hello, Hello,
good evening, Good evening. Just give it a couple of
more minutes, now, I do again. I do not want
to run out of time on the topic, but I
do want some people to be able to have some times.

(03:14):
It's happened. I know it's a little late for me
to check in, but we've got a good show for you, right.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Jazz got a good show. We got a great show.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Give me just a second and give everybody a second
tap in.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
I am going to just make sure that everybody knows
what's going on, so that everybody knows tap in.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'm gonna keep moving though, because because that's what we do.
We keep moving.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, gotta keep moving of course.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Welcome to a another episode of Bad to Business. I
am your host, Shining Saffron. Thank you for joining me.
Bad to Business is b a d d at acronym
for bringing all diverse discussions to business. I have the
pleasure of having my co host, Ms. Jazzy Younger. Hello, Jazzy, Hey,
hey going on. Everybody, are you doing? How are you

(04:24):
to have you on because you have such a you
have just a great conversation. We have a great conversation,
so uh and you have a diverse point of view.
So hey, hey Carlen, Hello, Hello, thank you for tapping in.
I know we're kind of late, but thanks for tapping in.

(04:46):
So again, I just want to welcome everybody to bad
to business, and today we are talking about family matters.
Uhazz Jazzy and I have talked about this periodically through
different conversation and stuff, so I'm glad to actually bring
this to the business table. So while we're talking about it,

(05:06):
we're just gonna go ahead and let's get down to business.
Since we kind of miss a little bit of time,
We're gonna go ahead and get down to business so
we don't miss any more time.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
So again, JAZZI, you're okay, You ready?

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Ye, I'm ready. Let's go.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
So the topic of conversation tonight is family matters, traditions
and general setbacks, generational setbacks. We want to talk tonight
about what type of traditions that you have kept that
has enhanced your family and what general generational let me

(05:41):
get this word together, what generational setbacks are. And we're
a struggle through a struggle through you to go through
to ensure that it did not affect your bloodline. So Jazzie,
I'm gonna kind of pose that question to you tonight.
So first and foremost, let me go ahead and ask
you what type of what trend. I'm gonna let you

(06:08):
go ahead and take this over because I'm kind of flustered.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
I'm upset that we have started late.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Let me be honest, I'm trying to make sure that
we get all the information that we wanted to give
you all in this timeframe that we have. So I'm
gonna calm down. I'm so glad that we have a car,
Thank you Jazz, that we have a co host tonight.

(06:37):
Let me go ahead and for a second, as Jazz,
I like to be so organized, and I know that
things cannot run perfectly smooth, right, but I plan things
and I try things to go so perfectly planned that
when they go off a plan, I kind of get

(06:59):
a little fluss. So that's a little ability of me.
And that's why I'm so glad to have people like
Jazz on my team that says he.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Things are okay.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
You know, it's not going to always go according to
your plan, but as long as it goes.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
According to his will.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Right, yep, yes, bread take a deep breath.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
All right, So thank you to everybody who joined in.
I see Zilly who said I finally made it.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
We finally.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
All right, So let's rewind it back real quick.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Your host, Shining Saffron, I am the host of Bad
to Business b A d D is a acronym for
bringing all diverse discussions to business. I have a special
co host, UH Jazzy, who is going to help me deliver.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
This message today.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Her and I have talked about different things concerning family matters,
and I think it's very important that we share it
with everybody today.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
So welcome JAZZI. How are you feeling, I'm great, I'm great.
Take two. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
But because we started a little bit late, we're gonna
go ahead and jump start this and we're gonna get
into it. So thank you everybody for joining. Everybody who's listening.
We wanted to bring some family matters.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
To the table.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
The again, the topic question is what is a tradition
that has kept that you have kept that has enhanced
your family?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Right?

Speaker 2 (08:39):
And then uh that you have just maybe first let
me go back, I did a definition just to make
sure that we are all on the same accord of
what a family tradition is. A family tradition is repeated
activities that hold a special meaning, shared experiences that help

(09:04):
build a strong family identity and create memories. And an
example is holiday gatherings, vacations, game nights, or family meals
and the importance of these things are it helps to
build the identity identities of an individual, which defines family

(09:28):
and shared culture provides stability, which like predicted predator, I
can't get this word right and I understand it, but
it's a predicability.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
There we go and routed routines.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
So basically it just basically says that we are establishing
what type of routines and what we expect in our families. Okay,
and strengthen connections which reinforce family bonds. Okay, those are
family traditions. Now we also want to know what type

(10:07):
of family uh setbacks, what type of generational setbacks that
you have had to grow from or try to endure
that make sure that you don't continue those in your bloodline.
So tonight I want to kind of start with you, Jazz.
You and I have dialogue before. And I know that you.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Have some things that you want to talk about as
well as I do. So I'm gonna start with you.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
So what type of family traditions have you kept that
kind of kept your family glued together?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Ooh? So I would say Christmas is probably the biggest
holiday that we celebrate. I mean, it's the time that
we can get together. You know, sometimes we can have
family come in, depending on what's going on. But I
remember as a kid growing up, like my mom would
every year when it starts, you know, I assume as

(11:03):
Thanksgiving hit, decorations go up, we're driving the city, looking
at lights, listening to Christmas music. You know. I remember
because I actually talked about this a couple of days ago,
like with some coworkers in mine. I remember this house
where we would drive down and they had a glass
garage door and they had an entire town set up

(11:26):
with Christmas and lights and you know, little statues that danced,
and it was just amazing to see it. Every single
year and even to this day. Every year for Christmas,
I will drive around, no matter where I'm living, I
will drive around and go look at Christmas lights. I
will find you know where they're having like the drive

(11:48):
throughs or whatever where you can like tune your radio
station to the station and all the lights dance to
the music. You know. It's harder as I've gotten older,
because I have been moving around to get back home
for Christmas. But it's still there. My mom still decorates.
I still try to decorate, and like I said, I
still drive around every single year. I don't care what
I'm doing. At least one night during the holiday season,

(12:10):
I'm driving around and looking at Christmas light. So, I mean,
that's one thing I will say has been deeply rooted
for me personally, Like that's one thing that I will
continue to probably do because I enjoy it. I enjoy
the holidays and the lights, you.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Know, you know, just Christmas holiday or holidays itself.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
I mean, the Christmas holiday is the most special because again,
you got all the lights and everything like that. I mean,
we celebrate birthdays, you know, anniversaries, things like that, but
Christmas seems to be the one where it's like we
get to eat, we get to see family, and we
get a show. You get a light spectacular. I mean,

(12:54):
what about you.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Well as far as uh editions and stuff like that.
Of course I had families that, you know, I had
a family that did different things. We celebrated birthdays, we
celebrated Christmas and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
But to be totally.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Honest, I don't think that I had anything that actually
stucked that I can call a tradition. Now, well, let
me take that back. I am the baby of six siblings,
and as far as my siblings go, they did when

(13:32):
it came to celebrating Easter and holidays and stuff. Grandma Aarents,
God Rest her soul. We always went to Grandma Aarrent's house.
That was always a safe haven. It was so many
memories there, and you know, we we always celebrate.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
I couldn't even tell you what a tradition was.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
The tradition was if there was a celebration, we're meeting
at grandma parent's house, you know, out out to Pasadena, California,
because that's what celebrations.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
The celebrations going.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
So I have to say that if that's the case,
there was a tradition, there was. It's a tradition of
celebrations that was when there was a maybe a significant birthday,
meaning somebody of age, you know, a senior in the
family or something like that we celebrated it there. Any holidays,

(14:29):
we celebrated it there. So we all got together at
Grandma Aaron's house. But to be honest, then Grandma Aaron
passed away. M So I cannot, to be perfectly honest
with you, I can't tell you that there's been meetings
after Grandma area, you know, unfortunately, And that's where we're

(14:53):
bringing this to discussion today and bringing it to the
table today. Some traditions tend to I won't say die,
but fade out. Yeah, I can tell you that the
traditions with Grandma Aron and Grandma Aaron's house of us
meeting and different things have faded.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Out pass the way.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
So as far as just some some traditions, I'm glad
to hear that Christmas is still something.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
I know you travel.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
I know you do different things and wherever you're able
to go, different jobs, different opportunities for you. I know
you travel. So I know that keeping a tradition of
Christmas is uh, you know, it's pretty good and at
least it's just a once a year kind of thing.
You don't have to try to get together on different occasions.
If you know that Christmas is your family's hop today.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
That's awesome.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
So I hope that you make time, not find time
for that, because finding time is hard, but making time
is what.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
We need to do exact exactly.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
So that's awesome. So but let me do a little
twist on that now.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
So what generational setbacks are or were a struggle to
grow through to ensure the effects don't continue down your bloodline?

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Do you know any you know generational without your family.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
On blast or whatever.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
But even though in individuality, is there any individual setbacks
that you feel like you know that you had to
grow from or you know that you had to realize
that you had to be an adult about you know,
and make sure that the rest of your bloodline doesn't
suffer from that.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
I can't honestly say that I have, like yeah, I
mean not to where I mean because I don't have
kids yet, and so I just feel like I wouldn't
say there's been anything for me. There's always been together,

(17:02):
that's yeah, there's all like mind side of the like
our family is semi small. I mean, the extended family
makes it a lot bigger. But like my mom's side
of the family, like where most of most of our
traditions come from, I mean, I wouldn't say there's really
any setbacks except for there's no family left really to celebrate,

(17:25):
you know, and then everybody's like so far apart, it's
kind of hard getting getting closed. But I mean there's
ways to you know, fix that and get together, which
you know, we'll discuss on. But I would definitely say
as far as like generational setbacks, I wouldn't really say

(17:47):
not really, not not for me, you know well.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
And again as far as a generational setback, just to
flip that on me, I don't really see anything that
has I think that's what you're saying, that has actually
hindered me right per se to from my growth as
an individual. Now I do have kids, but I don't

(18:15):
think that there's been anything that has actually hindered my
growth that I'm passing down generationally. Now, I do have
some things within myself that I do not want to
pass down to my children, and that's another thing that
I would probably pose the question to you make sure
or is there anything that you can identify as yourself

(18:38):
right now?

Speaker 1 (18:39):
You said you don't have kids, cool, is there.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Anything that you can identify in yourself that you would
like to change before you accidentally pass that down to
your generations once you because you're still young, you're gonna
have kids.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
I understand that, and you still plan to have kids.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
So is there anything about your self that you have
maybe obtained through life that you want to make sure
that you don't pass out to your bloodline.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
Definitely, I would definitely say shutting down is probably one
of my biggest things that I have the hardest time
not doing, whether it's like in an argument or like,
because I'm not a person that like I like to fight,
I don't like to fight. I'm non confrontational, and if

(19:29):
it gets too heated, I'm shutting down. I'm shutting down.
I'm walking away. We're not talking about it, and I
don't know if I want to talk about it later
because I feel like it needs to be squashed. But
at the same time, it's like, depending on the approach,
I'm not gonna take it very well and I will
shut down in the heartbeat.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Well, I think what you're saying is I don't want
to find about it. No, we're on to some type
of terms about it, and well, well, what we're leading
into that, But if we're gonna come to some type
of common terms about it.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
I definitely don't want to fight about it.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
And if it comes time to a type of conflict
or fight, I'm good.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
I can see I'm good.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
However, I will say that that may lead to some
problems too, because just shutting down, like you said, conceding
shutting down. Now, I remember a quote from doctor Phil
that said, you want to get along or you want
to be right.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Now.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
One of my family members brought it to my attention
that says, how come if I'm gonna be right, I
can't get alung that it comes to a point where
and you gotta find that leverage where being right doesn't
mean proving it right.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Right.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
I've learned that, Yeah, you can.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Be right in your own right, but do you prove it.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
To the point of argument back and forth? No, you don't.
You don't.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
And that's what even if there you have settled something
in yourself that you are right and or you're owning
your own right and that or you are right in
your own right and you have accepted what the other
person has not accepted from you, like kind of like
you agree to disagree right exactly, and you're okay with that,

(21:26):
be okay with that right right. You know, sometimes that
that that's considered not okay.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
You know, some people want to be.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
A final resolution in something, and that's where we're coming
into even family conflict. Some family wants a final resolution
to something, and sometimes that don't happen.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
That don't happen what we're talking about that night.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
So I have had some people to while we are
talking about generational setbacks and traditions, I've had some people
who did reach out just real quick. I've had some
people who reached out anonymously, and I've had some people.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Who reach out publicly.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
And I'm just gonna keep it a hundred and just
leave everybody anonymous. So I hope that those who did
reach out to me. I did give you the link
so that you can catch me and Jazzy talking about
the conversation.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
But I will leave you anonymous.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
But I will talk about some of the things that
you brought to my attention. So one of the things
is somebody brought to my attention that they wanted to
discuss that they have dealt with alcohol addiction and their
family and they felt as though what they were going

(22:45):
through was just what they were going to go through.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
This is what.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
This is what was set in their.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Family and they just had to find.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Their way around it, you know.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
And that that's one of the questions, like what is
a generational setback that you had to try to find
your way around even to make sure, you.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Know.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
And so that was one of the things that somebody
said that I did not want to have somebody, you know,
have the addiction to alcohol. And to be honest, I
did not go too far into it with this person
as far as well, the person that preceded you had

(23:34):
an alcohol addiction. How did you get addicted? I'm not
gonna to be honest, I did not get into that.
But however, this person after the person preceded them, their dad,
their mother, whatever, had alcohol addiction, they.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Got addicted to alcohol.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
The great thing about what they did is and let
me go ahead and go back to I discussed what
family traditions are. Let's define generational setbacks right. What I
looked at and define generational setbacks is the cycle slash

(24:12):
transmission of negative patterns, traits, or misfortunes through generations, the
cycle of negative patterns or misfortunes through traditions, and so
I e.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
Reoccurring family issues, mental or.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Physical ailments, learned behaviors, epigenetics, and we won't get into
that just yet. But it's more so, this is what
I learned. Let's go and learn behavior because.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
That's the easiest.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
That's what you saw, that's what you grew up on.
So I want to believe, or I want to assume,
or even suggest, because I didn't go too far into it,
that this person learn this behavior of drinking as a
coping mechanism.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Right.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I didn't look at it as something that was a
great thing or something fun to do. I looked at
it as a coping mechanism. But as she stated, I
learned that that was not the thing to cope with.
Not only did she learn it, but she looked up
some data and found out that she could help others.

(25:27):
I will look more into her information, and if she's
willing to let me share it, I'll get into that.
But just to go into generational setbacks, I was so
glad that she tapped in to talk about alcoholism. Yeah,
that is one of the easiest behavioral influences that we
could have that and you don't think that and again

(25:51):
you said you don't have children yet, but it's very influential.
And easy for a child to see a bottle while
a is crime while a parent is dealing with stress,
while the parent or guardian is dealing with something, to
see a bottle while they're dealing with something and say

(26:13):
I'm good when you go to ask them, Like my
darts come to me and I say I'm good. No,
I don't have a bottle in front of me. But
I've been able to teach my kids that I pray
a lot. Yeah, Jesus in front of me. I keep
the Lord in front of me. I keep his promises
in front of me. That allow me to teach them that.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
So, as far as generational setbacks, again, the cycle of
negative patterns, traits or misfortunes through generations reoccurring family issues
such as mental and physical ailments, learn behaviors like alcoholism, violence,
and or poverty, and the epigenetics of it suggests severe

(26:55):
stress trauma that can cause effect.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
On gene expression.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Gene expression, and you and I will talk about that, right.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I'm so glad you on that because.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
That lets you know you're in tune gene expression in
descendants even if they didn't experience the trauma themselves.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
Yeah, jene expression, Yeah, so that it is passing it down.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
That is fighting in front of your kids. That is
showing them a bottle when you're dealing with something, yeap,
that is them smelling marijuana smoke when you're dealing with something.
That is them learning what you do to deal.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
With something, right, So that is starting that.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
So I just wanted to give those definitions. I know
we got so much more to talk about, you and
I trying to fly past this, but just the fact
that there are you know, traditions, family traditions that we
can that will benefit and help us to grow.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
I e.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Christmas that allows you to even know no one, uh,
just because you travel and just because you don't have
children or whatever the case may be, just because you are,
like we're in the world, is Carmen San Diego. You
still make sure that you keep a Christmas tradition because
it's important to your family. You try to make it home,

(28:25):
you try to do those things. We see movies about
it all the time, So that's important. And then you
got the family setbacks that you try to avoid going
down your generations, the negative effects, the alcoholism, the abuse.
One of the things I looked up says it's it's alcoholism,

(28:49):
it's conflict, it's neglect, it's abuse. Right, we'll get all
into that, but all those factors that lead into just
a bad generational setback.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you keep something good.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Okay, So moving along, let's talk pros and cons of just,
you know, traditions and generational setbacks. We discussed a little
bit about it right now. The prose of it is,
you know, you get to keep things, keep cultures, keep traditions,

(29:24):
keep those things that are happy in your life, even
when you don't feel those happiness the happiness anywhere else
in your life. And then you got the cons of
the setbacks alcoholism, abuse and anything else like that. Yeah,
but you and I have talked about how regardless of
if it's the pro side of teaching traditions young or

(29:50):
it's the cons of inheriting the bad things of traditions,
the generation setbacks, all of it are both things. Starting
young can affect how you grow into things. Right, And
then you said to me, we started something about your

(30:12):
twenty one day fix, So how do you how do
you feel like and incorporating your point, how do you
feel like starting young with a generation and possibly just
keeping that routine repetition, of course, can contribute to doing
better things.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
Well because like like you said, with the twenty one
day Fix, it is an exercise program that basically you
change your way of thinking, like basically, and there's been
studies to show that you can break or build a
habit in just three weeks. Twenty one days is all
it takes. Now we are talking more long term than that.

(30:50):
You can't just start a tradition in twenty one days.
Ha ha, I got it. But what we're talking about
is anything that you do, if you do it often,
consistency is always key. So if you do that often enough,
just like we said, I as a kid, every year
we did we decorated for Christmas every year. We celebrated

(31:12):
my birthday in Passo every year. We had a golf
tournament every year, like we were doing family things throughout
the year. But Christmas was that one time where okay,
we you know, we eat, everybody gets together. It's into
New Years. Like I remember one year we had the
best New Year's party ever, Like after Chris everybody came

(31:34):
down from Christmas like stayed through New Years. We had
you know, karaoke, like it was just it was a
great time. So that started when I was young and
got all the way into my teen years, adult years
until we all moved. Like I said, we all moved away,
like we moved out of California. Everybody else stayed in California.
Then eventually they migrated towards the East. But everybody is

(31:59):
in a different area now. And just like we said,
with the traditions and the setbacks, that can all start
at a very young age. Your kids see you doing
you see you your kids see you drinking and smoking
or whatever, and they pick that up as they get older,
like no, they don't have to say no because oh
my mom does it, or they sneak in and steal

(32:20):
what their parents have. You know, there's just there's different
things that can happen with both sides of it. But
the main point of it is everything takes consistency or yeah, everything,
you got to be consistent with it. So whether it's
every year you do something like have a family vacation.
It doesn't have to be Christmas. You could just take

(32:42):
every summer the kids are out of school, we all
go somewhere for summer. Every single year we do that.
And you start doing that and then when those kids
grow up, they remember, Hey, we went to so and so.
Every single year, I'm going to like when I have kids,
I'm going to make sure they're more They tend to
do those things more often, you know, like I said,

(33:04):
whether it's positive or negative, regardless of what it is.
But that's what I mean. Like it. Studies have shown,
like I said, it takes three weeks to build or
break a habit. So just like with anything else, you
got to be consistent. Every year we build something together
and we do it, but there's sometimes not enough of that,

(33:24):
or sometimes, like you said, it falls off after an
important person of the family is no longer with us,
we stop. We fall off those traditions because either a
it's too painful to go back to where that person was,
if the house is still there, if it hasn't been sold,
whatever the case may be, or you just feel like,
you know what, we stop doing it. It's fine, we'll

(33:47):
do something else, or we don't do anything at all.
It just depends. So like I said, it can be
it can be both sides, and it just depends whether
it's positive or negative.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Well, I think over all, even with your twenty one
day fix or challenge, is that repetition is impactant, even
if repetition, even in your shoes, repetition is every December
or you need to make sure and hell, you got

(34:19):
all year, and that we're learning. You know, everybody always
wants to say life is short.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
I don't know how much time we have.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
No, we don't that you need to spend your time wie,
same way you spend your money.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Is that I don't know how much time I have.
That's the only reason why we can say life is
short because we don't know.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
We don't.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
So, yes, life is short because you don't know how
long you have. So even with that being said, the
repetition of making sure that you are there every Christmas.
Now when you do have kids, and I know that
that is in your very your future. I know that
you're planning, and you know you're one of the fortunate
that get to plan your life out.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Absolutely that you get.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
To plan your life out.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
But you I know that this Christmas tradition is important
to you and your family and your mom, so that
you will start to get your kids on that, you
know what I mean. And so again this is where
we're talking about traditions that can help enhance the family
and grow them as family versus generational setbacks that tear

(35:39):
down your family.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Okay, so I'm going to keep on.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
Talking about that.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
I want to talk about a couple of points that
I had kind of brought up with some other people,
So I'm going to bring them up individually. So I'm
going to, you know, say some It's almost like a
the game show password, right, So I'm going to bring
up some keywords and I'm gonna see what you think
about them.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
So let's talk.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Boundaries or binds, boundaries or binding some things.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
How do you.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Feel about setting boundaries and how do you feel about
binding some things?

Speaker 1 (36:17):
And I'm just gonna give a quick cute example.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
I feel very strongly about binding the devil in my adversaries.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
To the boundaries of health. Okay, I feel.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Serious about binding, finding boundaries and binding some things to
where they need to be. How do you feel about
boundaries and binding? And again, I know that you don't
have children, so you don't have to look so keen
into everybody. But it is about self awareness, so.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Well, no, I mean that's anybody everybody can I mean
basically is what is it? Boundaries is where you have
a line set don't cross this line. Okay, we're not
doing binding. Is there's a restriction like ain't no there,
don't come near me, okay. So I definitely feel like

(37:18):
there needs to be both of those. You have to
set boundaries within your life because you need you need
to be able to have you need to be able
to have peace in your life. So boundaries and binding
need to be set with certain people, certain things, certain behaviors.
All that. I definitely agree with both. It just depends

(37:42):
on where both need to be applied.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
King Again, boundaries and binding.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Are binding for binding, yep.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
That that it is and or or that is something
that you need to consider.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
There are some things to.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Have boundaries or binding.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
There are some things that have to have boundaries and well,
I don't know if it has to have boundaries and binding,
because you need to choose which one needs to be
which right, Some things just have to have boundaries. Like
you said, don't cross this versus you can't cross this.
There's a little bit of a leniency of expectancy or

(38:31):
respect or you know, I give you a little bit.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
In in boundary.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
I'm giving a little leniency in making sure that we
can compromise.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
But you don't cross a line moderation.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
That's a boundary, whether it's and it's in family, it's
in family relationships. Family, and there's binding where you just
say I'm not going to accept.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Certain things, just not going to that.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
I again, where I use the example, I will bind
the adversaries to the depth of hell. I just you
got to go there. I have no compromise with you. Right,
So all right, let's go with the next one. How
about protection versus rejection? And I'm talking about protecting your peace?

(39:21):
Do you have to reject people to protect yourself or
can you protect yourself in a way that it does
not reject people?

Speaker 1 (39:32):
I e.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Again, the whole point is family matters and bringing family
to a unity. So we don't want to necessarily reject.
But do you have to reject to protect your peace?
How do you feel?

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Yes? I mean you do. I mean and unfortunately with that,
some people, family or friend may not be in your
life any longer. And and I don't mean they're not there,
They're just someone you don't deal with. I'm actually going

(40:09):
through that myself where I had to stop dealing with
someone to protect myself. And I don't regret that decision.
I'm I feel one hundred percent that sometimes depending on
the person. I mean, everybody's different, everybody's different. Depending on

(40:31):
the person, I do feel like you have to reject
them in order to protect your peace. You can always
protect your own piece. But there's just sometimes that person
or sometimes people that you are just like I can't
even be around you in any type of form at all.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Well, and I can understand that on the way that
you yourself to say, it could go the other way
because you know, I'm I'm a little bit different necessarily
have to reject you to protect myself. I am one
that believes in the motto know who you're dealing with,
so you know how to deal with them. Knowing how
to deal with somebody doesn't necessarily have to reject them, right, So,

(41:15):
like you said, depends on the person. The capacity and
how my old boss taught me is the bandwidth you have.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Do you have a capacity.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Bring with bandwidth to even withstand what somebody is bringing
to you because you could just say.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
I'm just not gonna deal with it, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Versus somebody that you have to deal with. Therefore, you
can deal with some stuff that they come with. But
it does ultimately come down to protecting your peace. Will
you have to come down to rejecting people, rejecting situations,
rejecting things to protecting your peace or can you learn

(41:58):
how to deal with people or piece?

Speaker 1 (42:01):
And that's more of the question.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Do you feel like you can you personally deal with
people around protecting your piece? Or do you feel like
it's a no go if you are disturbing my piece,
I can't deal with you.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
You gotta go.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
How do you.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Feel, No, Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Because everybody
gets a chance. I'm not just saying you just cut
everybody off like the first attempt. Everybody gets a chance.
And when you realize that sometimes people's energy is more
draining then it should be, you decide I can't even

(42:40):
really be around you, and you don't have to be mean.
You just step back a little bit at a time
until maybe hey, we just not talking anymore.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
It's a weaning process.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
Yeah, because for both. I mean, if that's someone that
you you're used to dealing with, or like in the situation,
you may have lived with this person for eight years,
you took care of this person. You you know, you
everything that they needed. You were there to help. And
then at some point it gets to be like, okay,
look you are draining me and you're because it could

(43:16):
come with any kind of abuse. You know, it could
be mental, physical, you know, any kind of abuse. You
never know what somebody's going through. But that's why I
said you sometimes, yeah, you sometimes have to reject someone
in order to protect yourself because you, you're your piece
is taking little hits every every time you deal with
this person, and at certain thing, you just get tired

(43:38):
of it and you're like, I'm not going to keep
doing this anymore. I can't.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
That's true because you don't know their journey. You don't
know what they're going, but you cannot let their hindrance
be your your burdens.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Either, Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
And then I'm always drawn back to you.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Pray for a discernment, you know, got to let you
know when you're engage into something, when you so you
either need to support somebody or you need to step
away and let him do what he has already designed designed.
All right, So that's protection and rejection. Let's talk forgiveness
and fault finding. And just to give you an idea

(44:19):
of what I mean by those two, fusing is that
sometimes people can have an expectancy of apology. So when
you call yourself forgiving somebody, but because they have not
done the things that they need to do, and again

(44:42):
this is all family oriented, they have not done the
things that you feel they need to do to be
back in your good graces or apologize the way they
need to apologize, or whatever the case may be. Because
you are in and expected see of an apology, then

(45:02):
you're not really forgiving.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
So I know that.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
I that's why I.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Put together the two forgiveness and fault finding, because I
find that those two go together.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Like, I mean, you can find fault in somebody.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
You want to say that they did this, they did that.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
But one point that I just brought up this evening
while I was talking about another thing is cool. You
want to throw the first stone, no problem, Let's go
ahead and build the glasshouse first, right, Let's go ahead
and build that glasshouse around you before you throw that
stone of finding somebody at fault for something.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
That you can't forgive. Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
This is why I left that for last.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
So again, trigger words or you know, just something that
that I want you to think about. What do you
think about forgiveness and fault finding, or do you find
that those should be separate. You might find they're separate,
but unfortunately, in families and family matters, they're one and
the same, and that's why things can't get together.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Yeah. Sometimes, I mean for me it's separate, but like
you said, in a family, it's all one and the same.
It's hard to forgive someone for for if you feel
like you've been wronged in any kind of way, even
if you feel like it's your own, like I may

(46:31):
not be justified, but for whatever Like the act itself
may not be something huge, but you feel for whatever
reason you were wronged, and that expectancy of an apology
that may never come. That that is I will say
for me, because I've gone through it myself. That takes

(46:55):
a lot of prayer and a lot of even the
soul search. Because you want to be so angry at
this person for whatever the act was, whatever it was,
let's say they wronged you. You want to be so mad,
and you want to be so mad for so long.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
We're on the side of fault finding. We're not right
forgiveness at that point.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
There is no forgiveness because you were wrong until they
come to you and be like, hey, this is I'm
sorry for X y Z, and you actually are like, okay,
we actually talked about it. There's really there's always going
to be fault finding.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
But for me, you're looking for the apology or.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
You're most people.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Does that hold from forgiveness? This doesn't apology hold you
from forgiveness. Now, of course that goes into you and
I have talked about closure.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
We won't go into.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
That on this conversation.

Speaker 5 (47:52):
Yeah, today when it called when you are fault finding,
you know, I'm trying to forgive, but I remember that
you did this, and I remember that you did that.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Do you necessarily have to have the apology for everything
you've listed? You've listed that this person has done wrong.
Do you do you have.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
To have an apology for all that you shouldn't? But
most people are expecting that. So like for me, I
didn't get an apology.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Think think of a personal and I don't. I'm not
going to ask you to.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
Oh no, we're not going to talk about it. But
you know I I have been through some stuff with people, family, whatever,
and like I said, I was angry for at least
a good year and past years long time long time,
wasted time, long time, and I still to this day

(48:58):
have not gotten gotten an apology. But here's the thing.
I had to let that crap go because me personally,
I could not grow, I couldnt do anything because that's
all I wanted to think about. I wanted to be
so angry that that's all that mattered. All I could
think about was, Oh, it's your fault. It's your fault,
it's your fault. And one day I, like I said,

(49:21):
it takes a lot of prayer, it takes a lot
of thinking, meditating everything, because that's very hard, especially when
that person has always been in your life. They're very close,
they're pretty much, yes, very and a major part of
everything that you've grown up to be. And for me,

(49:45):
I had to let it go. It hurt. It hurt
to let it go. But after I finally and I'm
gonna be honest about it, it wasn't like a one
and done like I wanted to be like, oh, you
know what, I forgive this person, and I will say
it crept back up. It crept back up, It crept
back up, and I wanted to because again that person

(50:09):
was around, and it just kind of brought things back open,
and it was like, you know what, if I'm really
going to forgive her, I really have to forgive her,
and I really have to let it go. And so
I did, and at this point I have right, I have,
I have done that, but I also choose to leave

(50:31):
that person alone because I know it's not good for
my mental health. Again, rejection for my peace.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Okay, So rejection sometimes does result in protection, or rejection
is sometimes necessary for protection.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
Oh yeah, definitely, I would definitely say yes, I agree,
I definitely agree.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
I'm you again.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
My model is you got to know who you're dealing
with to know how to deal with them.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Definitely, come to a point where you know who you're
dealing with. Is somebody that you have to just totally
protect yourself from. It is what it is, and even
protection could mean cut communication stuff like that. Now, again,
this topic of tonight is about family matters and how

(51:20):
to bring back family traditions and break generational setbacks. But
part of don't get it misconstrued. Part of breaking the
generational setbacks is making sure that you understand boundaries or
binds protection versus rejection and forgiveness and fault finding. You

(51:45):
need to recognize what is what, So you know how
to deal with what?

Speaker 3 (51:50):
Right? So now what?

Speaker 2 (51:53):
And I'm glad that you did that. What kind of
leads me? That kind of leads me into something A
little note, and we don't have to stay on this.
I just because we are talking about somebody who can
take leadership and understand where boundaries or binds protection versus
rejection and forgiveness and fault finding come in. We are

(52:16):
talking about somebody who can lead the family. So let's
call them family administrators. Well, before I go too far,
Trevita tapped in heye, Trevita. One of the things that
she said is learning to communicate before an argument is
important by explaining how you respond during conflict because and

(52:41):
that goes back to defining what negative dynamics of a
family is and which is COmON, neglect and abuse. Those
are the top three things are the top three negativedynamics
of the family is conflict, neglect, and abuse. So but

(53:05):
I do believe that we kind of touched on that
is learning how to communicate is knowing who you're dealing
with to know how to deal with you different strokes
for different folks. We all can can all agree with that.
How I talk to Auntie is not how I'm gonna
talk to sis. Right, how I'm gonna talk to Grandma
is not how I'm gonna talk to mom.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
It's just different.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Yeah, so but we will we will agree that communication
is key. Now, talk to somebody is how you talk
to somebody, But how you talk to somebody is key regardless.
So communicating with somebody is key. Find somebody who you
can communicate with, and even if you have to decide

(53:49):
how you need to communicate with them. Like I tell
my daughters all the time, it's not about what you say,
it's how you say. Yep, you say to me, you
better open your mouth and tell me about how the
world makes you feel. However, you better not cuss, don't
fuss at me. There's ways to tell me, you.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Know, at just don't word vomit me. Right, let's talk
about it.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
So with my daughters, learn who you're dealing with, so
you learn how to deal with them. You can't cuss
and fuss that mom the way you may do your peers. So,
but it doesn't mean not communicate right to go into that.
It's about leadership and how to take leadership in family.
So let's talk about a the family administrators, the people

(54:37):
who take leadership in families when somebody passes or you know,
just just deciding that this part of the generation needs
this part of leadership. You may be in that part
of the aunties or the uncles or the cousins that
are in part of that leadership because the older people

(54:57):
have passed away, the older influences have passed away, or
they're too young or I'm sorry, they're too old too,
or they're older to where they're not leading the way anymore. Right,
So now you are the family administrator that you are
the what we call each other the middle child. We
got the old people with tendencies, but we walk in

(55:20):
with the new people. So we're trying to incorporate how
you can't disrespect the old school while you, you know,
swagging with the new school.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
Yeah cool.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Now, let me ask you this, when it comes to
being a family administrator taking the lead, whether it's because
somebody passed or you just realize that family traditions or
generational setbacks have started to rock your family bloodline, when
it comes to being the at the family administrator, do

(55:54):
you believe or do you think that that's something that's
voluntary or something that's in voluntary.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
I think it's a little bit of both. It depends
on the situation. Like in my household, like it's just
me and my brother growing up, I would say in
our household, like my dad does have other kids, but
they weren't in the same household, So if something were
to happen to my parents, I would assume.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
I'm sorry, just real quick, is your brother older or younger?

Speaker 3 (56:25):
My brother is younger, but he's taller than me, so
I call him my little big brother, right right, right, So.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Take an administrative You're you're saying as far as you're
taking the lead because you're older.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
Yeah, I mean I feel like I feel like because
I'm the oldest child, eldest child, like I feel like
I would be the administrator if something were to happen
to our parents or whatever. But he may feel like,
you know what, I'm the man of the family now
and I feel like I need to take over, Like
I may not be emotionally stable to take over as administrator.

(57:00):
It just it really depends on why someone has taken over,
Like what the case is, you know, if it is
a death or whatever, are you emotionally able to take over?
That role. I know, like when my grandmother passed away,
it was my mother and my aunt or whatever. And
my aunt is the oldest, you know, and she gladly

(57:21):
volunteered the administrator role because she was like I can't
I can't handle it. You know, that wasn't something that
she was going to take over. And I will say
my mother probably handled it the best of the two.
But my question is, like what damage could it have
done to my mother, like having to deal with that

(57:42):
being the baby of the family and having the takeover
like when her mother passed. So it's it's like I said,
that was a death situation versus you know, they get sick,
you know, and you have to take care of them.
Like I said, there's different cases.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
But because of the yeah, planning now in this situation.
So you're saying that your mom was the youngest and
she took the responsibility.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
Yeah, my mom is the baby of four children, so
and my aunt is the second oldest girl of four children.
So with both of her brother.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
Your mom didn't take it on volunteer.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Involuntarily from your POV without like going on into it
with that voluntary position like I'm just gonna take it
on because I see nobody else can or involuntarily as
I have to take it on because nobody else.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Can pretty much because at the time both my uncles,
which are the brothers, they both had passed already. So
when my grandmother had passed, like it was like, okay,
my aunt couldn't do it, my mom had to do it.
So yeah, for my mom was probably more involuntary, like yeah,
she stepped up and did it, but it wasn't her

(58:59):
for choice, whereas my aunt she technically would have been
the natural choice, but volunteered my mother. So like I said,
for that, it just it depends on the case and
can you deal with it or can't or can't you
you know, I will coach that I can, but who's
to say, you know?

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Correct? Well, just to touch on that.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
I am the baby of six.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
It's like writing a bunch three girls, three boys. I
am you know, Cindy if you will, if that's the case,
and when my parents passed away, I'm not the one
you go to.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
We have a family administrator.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
And she does a great job at keeping us informed
and keeping us in you know, updated, motivated on what
we need to do.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
When my parents passed with each passing.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
My mom passed first and my dad passed second. She
I will tell you that for her it was more
so voluntary. She didn't see anybody stepping up. She was
determined to make sure that the family stayed.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
As a unit, that the family stayed.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Thrown, that the family stayed doing what they were supposed
to do. So while I would say it was involuntary,
and that's one of the one of the two key
points I bought up. By assuming, even voluntarily assuming the administrator,
the family administrator's position, you also assume the burdens and responsibilities.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Yeah, she did.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
My sister is very well taking the burdens as well
as the responsibilities. Now I won't I won't go as
far as to say that she is taking the accountabilities
because for things that nobody else is doing, or making
sure that they are staying on top of or whatever

(01:01:04):
else that the family needs. I encourage her to not
take accountability accountability on that. But she is very much
assuming and voluntarily taking family administrator to make sure that
the things are done fairly, the things are done right.
She keeps us updated and we salute her because it's

(01:01:28):
not that we necessarily, like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
You said, she just kind of fell into the position.
She kind of stepped into the position.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Yeah, like you said, I could assume and fall into
the position because I'm oldest, but it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
Mean that I'm capable.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Yeah, my brother could be more.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Capable because he's more mentally stable. Not because he's a man,
but because he's more mentally stable, and he just gonna
hold those feelings where I'm a cry. My sister just
decided that she needed to do what needed to be done.
So salute to your sists. You know who you are.

(01:02:06):
So I want to give a salute to all the
family administrators. Just know that you have a big position
and that there are when you assume the family administrator
or you know, assume or take the position of or
have been given elected. Even the position of family administrator,

(01:02:28):
it does come with some stuff. And I know that
all those who have assumed or taken that position you
already know what it does, and so you deserve the
salute because there are some of us, like Cindy, who
just can't do that. You know, we just cannot deal
with what's going on and everything that has to go

(01:02:49):
along with continuing the family.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
So yeah, salute to you all. Salute to my sister.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
I love you to life itself again. So just to
move on with talking about the family administrator, Okay, the
person that handles the things, handles the burdens, handle those,
handles the responsibilities. Let's talk about who handles the dirty laundry.

(01:03:17):
Say hmm, who handles the dirty laundry? Because we know
that there are some in all families, right, there's dirty
laundry and where we used to have big mamas, grandmama's
big aunties that when I say handles dirty laundry, and
I mean hand washes dirty laundry, washes dirty laundry, make
sure that dirty laundry gets cleaned and pressed when it

(01:03:40):
goes back out. I mean those who heard the gossip,
you know, heard.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
All the.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
Misconceptions of what the povs from each family member thought
about a certain family member, and said, nah, that's not
what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
We're gonna watch that clean.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
We're gonna have a good Thanksgiving, we're gonna have a
good Christmas holiday, we're gonna have a good Birthday celebration.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
We're not gonna talk about that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
So just to give you an example where my siblings,
being the youngest, I got to see a lot of
things before.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Me and my siblings always got together.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
While we're talking about family traditions, I forgot to find
out my siblings we had rest in peace to Grandma
Arrant much respect, rest in heaven. That she had almost
every celebration at her house in Pasadena, California, and we
would all get together for almost every celebration we would

(01:04:48):
think of. They would think of celebrations to go and
have their and it was just because they knew it
was good times, good vibes to happen. So but Grandma
Arrent was also, I believe, a laundry cleaner. That's why

(01:05:10):
we could all go to her house. That's why we
could all get along at her house because she would
not accept the gossip. She would not accept so and
so it's doing something bad and I we're gonna condemn
them as a family. We're going to talk about them.
We're going to exile them, Grandma Aron, I do that.

(01:05:32):
My friend said, We're gonna feed them, We're gonna watch
wrestling with them. You know, we're gonna have fun with them.
We're going to provide a safe place for them that
when the world condemns them, we don't right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
She provided that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
So where are the aunties and the grandma's, the administrators,
the assumed, and the ones that do not want to
take it, cannot take those? Where are the ones that
are cleaning the dirty laundry? We know everybody who's airing
out the dirty laundry. Who knows whose laundry is dirty?

(01:06:17):
We know all the people who are telling the dirty laundry,
you know, but who is actually supporting and stopping the
gossip to say, I don't care that that JJ was
like the last week. He's free this week, so it's
free this week. We're gonna have a dinner, We're gonna

(01:06:39):
have a you know what I'm saying. And I would
refer to a Bible verse, but because I can't remember
it correctly, I won't do that falsely. But it was like,
you know, yes, my son was gone and he did
his life wrong, but when he came back, it was
a it was a moment of celebration because.

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
I'm not gonna hold against him.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
I'm gonna celebrate the fact that he came back and
he was alive. He came back and he was well,
he came back and he wanted.

Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
To come back.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
Yeah, so it comes back to where are the grounds
and the aunties? We know everybody's who's uh, you know,
everybody who used to clean out our dirty laundry, but
those who call theyself assuming the administrator and making sure
that you make that that the family goes right?

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
I you h I e.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
You possibly assuming the role of administrator or not? Can
you make sure that you or your brother do not
allow the extra family to talk about where your mom

(01:07:53):
this and this and that and your dad this and
you know you do not you clean.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
The laundry the gossip that comes.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
Are you able to handle that and that? And that
goes to what you were saying. Excuse me, I don't
know if I can handle that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
My brother may be better at that maybe, but.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
I'm not gonna deal with with family who wants to
talk about fault finding not forgiving right, because why are
we still talking about people at fault who ain't here
to correct it?

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
That that's no longer in.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
People and even in bloodlines that are no longer here
to correct it. You're not even giving them a chance.
So really, you're just gonna fault find to the day
you die because they already gone, right, So you're gonna
fault fine to the day you die.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Just assuming family administrator, and I just wanted to get
your point on if you feel like it was voluntary
or involuntary. And I understand it's just two siblings versus
I am the baby. And it was not the oldest
that assumed the responsibility. It was the second oldest. But whatever,
she felt like she could contribute to the family and

(01:09:11):
she could find some type of balance in the family.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
She did that and she's doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
So so to you, sist, thank you for becoming the
family administrator. It's not an easy position, especially with both
parents gone and there's still family matters to settle. So
I want to give a salute to my sister who
is assuming the family administrator. And it's not easy to

(01:09:36):
face all the facts, let alone get all of them.
So amen to you. But I just want to throw
out there, like we were just talking, if you're going
to assume a position, you gotta kind of take everything
that comes with it. And I do believe my sister

(01:09:57):
taking the administrator. We all talked her, we all tell her, her,
tell her our indifferences are feelings about things, and she
delegates as as need as needed. I'll tell whoever I
need to make sure that there's not conflict, and I
will do what I need to do about conflict to make.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Sure that there's no longer conflict. I'm not the I'm
not the one.

Speaker 3 (01:10:20):
Yeah, I'm not the one.

Speaker 2 (01:10:21):
I will tell you as the Cindy, as the baby
of six. I'm still dealing with my own conflicts in
my own family. So in my own small in house family,
as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord,
but it is I'm dealing with my own. So I
appreciate the older sibling taking that administrative rove and allowing

(01:10:44):
us siblings under her to see where we can jump
in and where we can support, but not necessarily have
to take over the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
So sol't to you, but moving past that and.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
Being the administrator and being the person who probably has
to wash the dirty laundry.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
Make sure that nobody's feeling ill about.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
Anybody, make sure that nobody talks ill about anybody. Make
sure that when we meet that everybody's good again. Salute
to the family administrators of the family that continue to
try to get family dinners together, contribute, continue to try
to get celebrations together.

Speaker 3 (01:11:26):
Salute to you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Even when you know you have a family of conflict.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Salute.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
But it kind of reminded me of even those who
are assumed voluntarily or involuntarily the administrators of the family.
How do you go about delegating that? So you don't
have kids, you have a younger brother, does he have kids? Okay,

(01:11:58):
so nobody has kids just yet. But y'all both young
enough and spry enough to go ahead and have them.
So it's coming, but nobody has kids yet. Now I'm
gonna touch a little bit about generational favoritism. So while
you are the administrator and you're making decisions and you're

(01:12:20):
making sure that family does what they're supposed to do,
and you know who you're dealing with, so you know
how to deal with them, and you know who to
put in position of certain things. Okay, you know, the administrator,
just like a boss at a job, finds the strength
and the weaknesses of the family. Okay, I need you
to do this, I need you to do this, and
you can't do this. All those things, then you come

(01:12:42):
to a generational favoritism. And let me just kind of
explain that, and it can be circumstantial. What I mean
by that is as you are the administrator. Let's just
say that you had more than one sibling, and you
got along with one sibling more than you got along

(01:13:03):
with the other. One sibling has children, the other sibling
has children. But because you get along with the one
sibling more, your more adherent to their kids and what
they do, and you know you're going to the games
and you're more involved versus how you are with the

(01:13:25):
other siblings children. Okay, this is where I'm talking about.
Being the family administrator takes a lot of responsibility. Because
if that's the case, I mean, how do you delegate that?
How do you make sure that you stay focused of that?

(01:13:47):
And I happen to know from personal family experience that
it can affect confidence, it can affect family union, It
can affect a whole lot of things. And it doesn't
necessarily mean it's purposeful. There are some families that put

(01:14:10):
a certain child on a pedestal and put another child.

Speaker 3 (01:14:15):
Under the ground.

Speaker 2 (01:14:20):
But how do you think? And I don't know if
you've experienced it or know anybody else. There are there
are generational favoritisms. And I say generational because they treat
their children a certain way, which means that they're gonna
treat the children of their children a certain way, and that's.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
Whether it's good or bad.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
Yeah, so my end, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:14:42):
The baby of six.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
I have my children very late to the point where
I can honestly say that my parents treated me and.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
My babies as the babies.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Mm hmm, okay, there were differences. There were differences, we
all acknowledged them. So how as as an administrator, and again,
it might be hard for you to even like fathom
or how you do it because your younger brother does

(01:15:19):
not have kids yet, So it's not even like you
could say, oh, yeah, I love his kids and I'm
just in love and I don't care what happens to
the rest of the world. But generational favoritism, again, can
be circumstantial.

Speaker 1 (01:15:33):
How do you feel like, as an administrator.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
Even if you had to assume the responsibility you not
having kids, your brother not having kids, how can you
make sure that where you or your brother were treated
as the favorite. We won't go into that. If there
wasn't even that, how do you make sure that as

(01:15:56):
the administrator that you start to even out the playing field,
that you make sure that favoritism doesn't happen.

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
I don't really know, I mean, besides just being equal
to everybody, Like I mean, I experienced it because on
my side of the family, like they're like my uncle's kids,
Like on my mom's side, we didn't really deal with
my uncle's kids like they just I know that I

(01:16:29):
have them, but I don't know, like we just didn't.
They're a lot older than me, Like I've met a
couple of them. It's just there's so many that we
don't really deal with them. So I get the whole
generational favoritism. But you gotta just you gotta break that
cycle somehow, some way, like regardless of me and my

(01:16:49):
brother or whatever, it can't happen, like you just you
gotta break the cycle someway however you do it. Unfortunately,
you can't continue down that path because it leads to
separation within the family. It leads to discord within the family.
Nobody wants to get along because oh so and so
it's like better. You know, family functions are weird, like

(01:17:10):
it just it gets weird. So like I said, it
just really needs to stop and we need to like
just do better. But I don't know how you do that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
I mean, and.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
Everything in life is a process, right, Yeah, muscle gain,
family gain, whatever, But in this particular situation, it's about
family gain and.

Speaker 1 (01:17:35):
Everything is a process.

Speaker 2 (01:17:37):
And one of the things that you and I talked
about in the generational setbacks, the importance of recognizing a
generational setback is the awareness and action to make a
conscious decision to change.

Speaker 3 (01:17:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:52):
Oh, even if that's what was going on in your family,
you only have you and your brother, right, her brother
was to decide to have children first, Then you got
to know that you've got to make certain changes to
make sure that that doesn't happen, that that there's no faism,
that there's no whatever case the case may be, if
you had children first, depending on who decided to be

(01:18:13):
the administrator, you have to decide who's going to make
the decision of that's not going to be a zoned
in thing that you You actually did.

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
That, so I totally understand that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
So, but again, the importance of generational setbacks is to
be aware of what's going on and make sure that
you have you're aware to make a conscious change.

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
So I like, that's beautiful, Okay, so I'm gonna keep
on moving.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
But I did want to make the points of generational favoritism.
You know I like this particular child, or you know
my youngest and their children were closer to me than
my oldest and their children. And love is love is
yes time I have to make that list. So every

(01:19:06):
time that I annotate this, that I make sure that
everybody is aware of what love is and what it
comes to love hukers all. So it does not matter
who is who, if you love you love. I have
two daughters and they're three years apart, and one thing
that I have to understand is I understand that the
oldest will come into things in her life before the

(01:19:29):
youngest will, right, but I do it. I communicate to
them both about how I understand and how they.

Speaker 3 (01:19:37):
Need to understand that one will.

Speaker 2 (01:19:39):
Come into things in life sooner than the other. She
will drive at sixteen, or she will try to get
her permitted at sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
You can't get yours at.

Speaker 3 (01:19:49):
Thirteen, right, But I open the lines of.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
Communication to make sure that we understand that the levels
are still there.

Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
Now. The world may separate you, but.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
In as far as my house, as far as my house,
we will serve the Lord.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
And therefore I'm gonna make things equal and fair.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
And so yes, it's fair for her at sixteen to
learn how to drive and start to look for her
driving permit and for me to take her out on
the weekends.

Speaker 1 (01:20:23):
You at thirteen don't get to be upset.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
About that, correct about it? Let me tell you can't,
but she can't.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
But it's not that I'm just treating her like this.

Speaker 2 (01:20:38):
Like this, let me give everybody an understanding of why
sixteen year old get certain privileges.

Speaker 1 (01:20:48):
That thirteen year olds don't.

Speaker 3 (01:20:50):
Right yep, that ministrator.

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
Of my family, I have to assume that the burdens
and the responsibilities of making sure that everybody unders the roles. Okay,
moving along, though, let me ask this question and we're
gonna go ahead and round this up because I realized
we have really talked past our time and I'm okay
with that, but the powers that be might not be.
Thank you for keeping along with me. All y'alls that

(01:21:16):
all y'all that have stay along with me think yes.
So here is one of the last questions I do
want to ask you and see what you feel about it.
Can heredity stop your destiny? What do you think can
heredity and what you've gone through and we've seen different

(01:21:37):
things coming up about racism and you know, your bloodline
and things going on in the tabloids, and you know,
I don't get the same privileges as other people do. Races,
whatever else can heredity stop your destiny?

Speaker 1 (01:21:53):
And that's just something that just came up. So I'm
just gonna ask you.

Speaker 3 (01:21:56):
Look, let me tell you something. It don't matter where
you come from, who you are, black, white, Hispanic, Asian,
it don't matter. I don't think that. I don't think
that heredity can stop your destiny. I feel like if
you believe it, it'll happen. Definitely, not not for me.

(01:22:21):
I don't think. No.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
I mean and that, And I'm glad to hear that
from you because that lets me know that when you
do start your bloodline, that's what you're going to teach.
Oh yeah, no matter what we've come from, and your
kids may learn about slavery and uh, you know, even
capitalism and all those things that make may make them

(01:22:48):
feel inferior or make them know there's a hindrance. But
because you know and you stand in that doesn't affect us,
you'll teach that. And that's again what we're trying to
talk about. What you can do to make sure that
the generational setbacks or whatever else does not hinder your bloodline.

Speaker 1 (01:23:08):
So so lout to you for that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:12):
As as far as I'm concerned, if I feel like
heredity can stop your destiny, I do feel like a
part of my DNA has God's DNA.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:23:23):
That's why I'm able to work up every morning. And
as far as I got God's DNA, there's that's my heredity,
that's my heredity line.

Speaker 1 (01:23:33):
So of course nothing can stop me. There's no weapons that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
Form against me can prosper never you have my destiny.
There's nothing that can stop my destiny. And you know
I tend to worry about the masses if you will,
But one thing that I am always reminded of is
the spirit telling me don't worry about the masses, because
it's always the one that's gonna get you there. And

(01:23:57):
if the one is God, I'm good with that. So
I'm glad that we can agree that heredity cannot stop
your destiny because you make a decision that you're gonna
face it until you make it, or you have decided
that you are part of a destination a bloodline. I

(01:24:19):
do have a destination you're good. So that's awesome, So
thank you for that some of the things. And as
we're coming to a closing, because again we have talked
so much over our time, I'm kind of glad because
this was a very sensitive yet something that needs to
be talked about conversation. You and I have talked about
it before, and that's why we have gathered so many

(01:24:40):
of these points in our closing. I just want to
talk about some of the effects of negative family dynamics.
Negative family dynamics, some things can be conflict in the family,
neglect in the family, and abuse.

Speaker 3 (01:24:55):
In the family.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
Okay, so some of the negative dynamics can be psychological distress,
you know, not being able to handle things well, negative
outcomes with what's gonna happen when you can't handle things well,
and just overall disconnect with which is the beginning of

(01:25:16):
family generational setbacks. And I can tell you that I
am one of those. I will disconnect in a minute
and be okay with it.

Speaker 3 (01:25:27):
So that doesn't mean that it's doesn't mean that it's
a good thing.

Speaker 2 (01:25:31):
Let's make sure that we do not disconnect from family,
because once you forget about family, you can forget about everything.
And the effects of positive family dynamics. Let's let a
couple of family dynamics or positive family dynamics are a
good communication, which Miss Trevita had pointed out, and that's

(01:25:53):
awesome communication. Love, which is something that I pointed out,
and I I love the word love because again, love
is patient, love is kind, Love is everything that can
be settled without discord. And then you have acceptance. And
a lot of family conflict comes from not being able

(01:26:21):
to accept what's going on in somebody else's life. It's
not your life you live in, accept it, support it.
You don't necessarily have to fund it that to accept
it and support it, right, and then one of my
things is okay. So some of the effects of positive
dynamics is it is crucial for individual and family wellbeing.

Speaker 1 (01:26:46):
Individual and family well being.

Speaker 2 (01:26:50):
Yeah, so supporting someone, communicating with someone, loving someone, and
accepting someone is crucial for their well being. And it's
not about I did not point out correction because one
of the things I keep pointing out about correction is
throw the first stone. But before you throw the first

(01:27:12):
stone on somebody because you do not agree with whatever
they have to say. And I'm not even gonna get
into that, because we already know what's going on in
the world about how we deal with people that we.

Speaker 1 (01:27:26):
Don't agree with.

Speaker 2 (01:27:28):
Yeah, but before we get into that, let's let's learn
about how it actually affects our well being, how we
can communicate, how we can say things, how we before
we get to our second Amendment. I mean, damn, we
have freedom of speech. I can say what I want
to say, you know, according to the algorithms, According to

(01:27:57):
the algorithms, right, So, but it is crucial.

Speaker 3 (01:28:01):
For individual and family well being.

Speaker 1 (01:28:05):
And definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:28:07):
Positive dynamics of communication, love and acceptance that starts with
that psychological flourishing. Being able to you know, expand your
mind because you have been accepted by the ones that
love you. You kind of it goes back to if
you if you pay attention to the ones that love you,

(01:28:28):
don't care about who don't you know who for you,
You don't care about who's against you. So if you're
able to focus on psychological flourishment, and I guess it
starts with your family, then you can go ahead and
you know, enhance yourself in awful situations and also healthy

(01:28:50):
development in children and is a key happiness to adults.
So just really in my opinion, like you said, if
you start early in roots teens, it kind.

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
Of just develops in adults.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Yeah, like grandma arent, it was great that she started us,
started us off. We know who we are and how
how we are as a family. When we get together,
we can get together. We just have and it takes
a long time for us too, but we know how
to get together. So family know how to get together.

(01:29:25):
You know how to love each other. Make sure that
you're doing that because family matters. Black lives matters, white
lives matters, all lives matters.

Speaker 1 (01:29:33):
Family matters.

Speaker 3 (01:29:35):
Yeah, we all got so make sure you're doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:38):
So in our conclusion though, or to further in our conclusion,
where do we start jazz? Like, how do we start
to do these things? How we've talked about all the
different conflicts and stuff, but but where do we or
where can we actually start to do some things?

Speaker 1 (01:29:55):
Where would you start?

Speaker 3 (01:29:57):
I mean it's really simple. You gotta start with yourself.
So when you when you heal yourself within, you can
also heal your bloodline, so you have to a lot
of people can't even like like we're talking about forgiveness

(01:30:17):
and fault finding, a lot of people have that within
themselves and they can't let them go for whatever reason.
Hey I messed up for whatever reason, they can't let
it go. They fault finding themselves. They can't forgive themselves.
So I feel like, if you can forgive yourself, if
you can love yourself, love is kind. Love yourself because

(01:30:39):
we do the worst to ourselves. We can talk about
ourselves so badly to ourselves, and it can be detrimental
to us. So I think, like I said, if you
can heal yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself, you can love
other people. You can love everything else around you, but
it starts with you. It always starts with you as
an individual. It don't matter.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
I can concur in that if trauma can be passed
down through generations, so can healing.

Speaker 1 (01:31:11):
So if you can period my drop.

Speaker 2 (01:31:18):
So one of the things I thought about is you
can start to arrange inis. You know when the next birthday,
celebration is coming up, holidays are coming up. I know
that there's some people that you just find yourself not
getting along with, but find yourself getting along with them
because you don't know, you don't know. I don't want

(01:31:40):
to talk about some of the things that's been going
on in the world that conclude and confirm that life
is short and as we know it, because we don't
know what time is the time and stuff like that,
but we do know. And I give homage to those
families that are green eving and going through a strengthening

(01:32:04):
process where they have lost these loved ones in the
last couple of couple of weeks. We all know who
they are. But start arranging those unions, start arranging. Let's
get together, Let's start arranging. Even if you know that
there's going to be.

Speaker 3 (01:32:23):
Conflicts, solve it, then, yeah, get it, get it done.

Speaker 2 (01:32:27):
In the world, I was even explaining to you, there's
so much going on going on in the world that
I'm I'm so unbothered and anointed, like there's some things
that we just got to get clear.

Speaker 3 (01:32:38):
Let's just go ahead and do it, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:32:40):
So, But that's one thing that I could think of
that we where we can start, we can.

Speaker 1 (01:32:46):
Start to arrange unions. Is excuse me?

Speaker 2 (01:32:50):
Is there anything that you can think of that we
can where where families can start.

Speaker 3 (01:32:55):
Oh yeah, my grandma on my dad's side, Grandma feeling
shout out to you as all that you liked our
post the other day. Love you guys. Sorry I haven't
been available and around. But every month they do a
video zoom call. My Audrey puts it together. Every single month.
They basically celebrate you know, whoever's birthday it is for

(01:33:18):
that month, and then they talk about current family events.
You know, what's going on in Granny's world. She's always like,
you know, building and you know, painting houses, and they
got a museum. They're always like adding stuff to the museum.
You know. They're a huge part of the chalk taw
Indian nation. Like they're putting putting together pow wows and

(01:33:38):
you know everything like that. So i haven't been on
in a little bit, but I'm gonna start back. But
start a video chat. Get on FaceTime with your family,
Like if you don't see them often or can't get
around for holidays Christmas, do a zoom call. They got
Google meet now, Facebook Messenger, like, doog whatever you can
to stay in touch. That's what y'all gonna do. Let's

(01:34:00):
do it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:02):
Do something right.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
And something that I'll I'll throw in is support your
family's interests and investment.

Speaker 5 (01:34:14):
That I will, you.

Speaker 3 (01:34:16):
Know, just tap in a little bit on a personal thing.

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
I have started a podcast. I have siblings, I have friends,
I have family, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:34:26):
And.

Speaker 2 (01:34:28):
I am you know, I feel stronger when I'm supported.
Some of y'all may not notice this, but I am
nervous every time I go one, you know, and I
get a little look up after I get on here.
But you know, I can't lie. If I had more
support from my family and friends, I might be a

(01:34:48):
little more.

Speaker 1 (01:34:51):
You know, excited stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (01:34:53):
I did get to hear from my families and stuff,
and they my families and friends on this topic, and
they were kind of excited to hear this coming on.
So I did get a little more excited. And that's
just to prove what the narrative that we're talking about.
The more my family and friends got excited, and that
shouldn't necessarily influence my decision on how I move in

(01:35:14):
life and my journey. But the more excited they got about, hey,
I can't wait to hear this, the more excited I got.
So understand that. And I'm grown, I'm grown to tell
with kids, you know, so understand that as excited as
they got for supporting me, was as excited as I
got for putting it out. So make sure that you

(01:35:36):
support your family. You're supporting their interests. You're doing with
what you can do to make sure that you motivate
them to and show them that the things that they're doing,
you know that matters to you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:47):
Family matters, period.

Speaker 2 (01:35:50):
And one of the last points I just want to
go ahead and sign out with it's not gossipvent. Okay,
we're already talking about who is and who is not
in the dirty laundry, Like, how dare you add to
the dirty laundry and you're not adding to clean it.
You didn't even take the dirty laundry to the to

(01:36:11):
the laundry house. You bring your own laundry soap, right,
you bring your own dryer sheets. If you're going to
add to the dirty laundry, bring the ship that sorry,
bring the stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
I get real serious about this type of stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:36:29):
That's going to clean it too. You did, like make.

Speaker 3 (01:36:33):
Sure that you are doing your.

Speaker 2 (01:36:38):
Look, I don't like the way this felt.

Speaker 3 (01:36:40):
In the family.

Speaker 2 (01:36:40):
I don't like the way this smelt in the family.
I don't like the way this is dealing in the family.
So yes, I am bringing it to the table, but
I'm cleaning it too. And if you're not going to
your effort to clean it, don't give your effort to
dirty it. We don't need we don't need your extra

(01:37:01):
dirty sprinkles. It's already dirty. So appreciate that. So and
one last ps I'd like to add is that please
remember that in these days and time, I don't care
who you are or how you present yourself to be.

(01:37:22):
That character builds culture and cultures build community.

Speaker 3 (01:37:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:29):
So even though we're talking about building a family culture
and structure and keeping it solid, we have to also
think about how we are building a solid community and
culture outside of our families.

Speaker 1 (01:37:47):
It don't stop with our families.

Speaker 2 (01:37:49):
We still have to do our families, don't pay us,
our families, don't build our houses. I mean, we could
try to do stuff like that, but ultimately we go
outside of our household to get business resolved. And that's
again what bad to business is about. I know that
things seem bad outside in the world. I know that
things seem confusing. I know that we don't want to

(01:38:12):
talk about just everything. I may not be talking about
which I want to talk about on the highest of
the charts right now, but I mean everybody's already talking
about that. What I'm trying to talk about is bring
the bad the diverse discussions, bringing all diverse discussions to business.

(01:38:33):
We already know what the bad is, but how can
we bring it to business.

Speaker 1 (01:38:38):
So tonight I want to thank my co host Jazzy for.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
Joining me and bring the bad of generational setbacks to
business about general traditional.

Speaker 3 (01:38:55):
Ongoing settings.

Speaker 1 (01:38:58):
Thank you for that pots to traditional settings.

Speaker 2 (01:39:01):
So even in this conversation, again didn't talk about the
bad in the world. But because there's so much bad
in the world, let's talk about how bringing it to business,
bringing it to a better way of living is going
to help us. So right now we need to bring
our families together. We have plenty of enemies and adversaries

(01:39:22):
we could be fighting. Let that not be family.

Speaker 3 (01:39:25):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:39:26):
So with that being said, Jazzy, I love you.

Speaker 3 (01:39:28):
Thank you so much for joining me and.

Speaker 2 (01:39:30):
Having this discussion with me. I'm glad we finally brought
this to the business table.

Speaker 3 (01:39:34):
Appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (01:39:35):
I am Shannon's shining Saffron signing out, and Jazzy, thank
you so much for on the next episode of Bad
to Business.

Speaker 3 (01:39:45):
Love y'all, don't forget to vote, don't forget to vote.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
Oh I'm on that. Don't forget to vote for the
crew podcast them for the Kingdom Awards. I will best page.
Stay tuned. We have it up until October first, so
thank you for that jazz talking about.

Speaker 3 (01:40:07):
Get out there and vote everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:40:09):
Let's go, so I will be posting that. Stay tuned.
Thank you for joining us for another episode of.

Speaker 2 (01:40:15):
Bad to Business where we bring you all diverse discussions
to business.

Speaker 3 (01:40:20):
Love y'all, check y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:40:22):
Next episode, good Bye, bye bye

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B.A.D.D. 2 BUSINESS: Family Matters — Traditions & Generational Curses | LIVE ON Da Crew Podcast & Media Network, hosted by Shynen Saffron|

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