Closing Out a Powerful Season: Cracks in the Surface — Not Easily BrokenTonight, Friday, August 15 at 8 PM EST, we air the final episode of Cracks in the Surface: Not Easily Broken on Basic Blaque After Dark.This season has been a journey of truth-telling, healing, and connection. Together, we’ve shared stories that peeled back the layers, confronted pain, and celebrated resilience. Each voice, each moment, and each conversation has reminded us that even when the surface cracks, strength still lives at the core. To every guest, panelist, and listener—thank you for showing up with open hearts and honest words. Your presence has made this season unforgettable.What to expect tonight:
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/da-crew-podcast--5763835/support.
- Reflections and powerful takeaways from the season
- A community-centered conversation on what healing looks like next
- Live check-ins, listener voices, and space to be seen and heard
- A look ahead at how to stay connected between seasons
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/da-crew-podcast--5763835/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Anyone else will shah, wow, that's so nice to hear.
(01:13):
Thank you so much for sharing. Anybody else want to share? Yeah,
(01:53):
it's true, and I'm so glad and I was able
to share that during your journey. Hm, go back head beach.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
K and and and and and now I was saying
(02:49):
before a sweepers pings, so I got all the I
think I got all.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
The cowboys this time.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
No, I'm so glad that you was able to join
this because you had a lot to bring to the table.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Doctor Carolyn, You've been here.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
With us for every one of these conversations, watching each
panelist share their truth and evolved from your perspective. What
are your observation on the panelists growth and the seasoned schemes?
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Well, uh, if I may be candidate, before I.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Before I made my comment, uh, I would like for
us to take a brief moment.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
We we we were.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Privy to some some news about our sister. So the
therapist is having a U having a moment. Yah, thank
(04:17):
you so much.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Human is really a straight mind.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So what setbacks or relaxes have taught you the most
about your resilience? Because I've seen resilience throughout each and
every one of them. What setbacks or relaxes have taught
you the most about your resilience?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, mhm. Anybody want to share.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Mhm yeah, m hmm.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Well I've said something at this particular moment and that
they they can walk allow me to have my moment.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
You know, I I often, uh, I often share with
my clients. I have a.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
That's something that I that I often say, and that
is that it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
One of the things that I have uh discovered about
resilience and uh throughout our journey together here on the panel.
This wasn't intentional, but I found myself redefining words for us,
or redefining phrases for us, because what I do understand
(05:49):
is that it's our perspective and how we look at
a thing or how we see a thing, which will
allow us to maybe respond two things.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
In a much more different way.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
And when we use that term resilient, you know, lots
of times people would call me and they say, hey, Doc, Carolyn,
how are you doing? And I would respond and say,
I feel resilient, you know, I feel you know, because
we have such a habit of always saying hey, I'm
doing fine, I'm doing okay, I'm doing fine, I'm doing okay,
(06:24):
and we do and we rehearse that narrative so much
until we just believe it ourselves. You know, we really
believe it ourselves that every day we just okay, or
even if we just know that we're really not okay,
we just we have rehearsed the narrative so much as
if though we are in some kind of a dramatic
(06:46):
play or something where we feel like if people ask me,
I have to say I'm okay or I'm doing doing fine,
or if you're a religious person, then you might say
something like, oh, I'm blessed, you know, never point the.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
World is falling apart. And so, don't get me wrong,
I do believe in discretion.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I believe that we have people that we feel comfortable
with disclosing or not disclosing too. But when I think
about resilience, just like I have this moment and not
really I'm I'm in tears right now. There would have
been years and years ago that I would not have
(07:30):
said to you all, hey, right now on set, I'm
having a moment because I've done lots of television and
stuff like that, and I know that you just don't
do that kind of thing on TV. But one of
the things that I have found out about myself and
about people, and I try to set that example for
people because most people would say of me that I'm
(07:52):
a pretty strong person. I'm strong because of him. So
that's the first thing I want to say. But it's
okay to be okay. And I think resilience is best
demonstrated when we show people that we are human.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
We are not machines, we're not robotical.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
We have moments, we cry, we get angry, we get mad,
and so it's okay to be with people in a
very human way so that they too understand you know what, Wow,
(08:33):
I'm still resilient. I'm making it through this, but at
this moment, I may not be fair enough very well.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
I may not be doing very well, and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
And this is part of how we can normalize when
we talk about mental health disparities and stuff like that,
because we want to keep ourselves very real even though
we're encountering something. So I've always been a pretty really
authentic person. But you know, I do know that I'm
a professional, and so I was really big on presentation.
(09:07):
But I don't know if this has something to do
with age or just where I am in life, But
now it's just something that's natural exactly. I just let
people experience me this and and in this moment, you know,
I'm here with people that I love, and I just
(09:29):
heard some news and uh, I'm not okay, And it's
okay to say that. It's okay to say it's okay
to say that, and it's okay especially when you're in
a safe space. But I am going to make it
through it. That's the resilient part. I am making it
(09:50):
through it. I showed up and I'm here, you know,
so that that's that's our level of resilience. So I
think that one of the beautiful things about this group
of people is that we have formed what I would
deem as a safe space where we're able to be
a bit more open about where we are in our
(10:12):
emotional and mental uh uh spaces within ourselves. And I
think that's a good different for the world to see.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
The part of this question for each of you, what
is the one thing you are no longer apologizing for?
Speaker 6 (10:33):
Mhm, you speak on that, yep. I think the from
a very young age. Most of us are for lack
of a better educated or or or poll.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We we we're.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
Given this this false diconomy, like you know, the first
thing you hear as a young as a boy, as
a child, oh men, don't cry. And we grow up,
you know, believing these things or embracing these things that
(11:20):
were given as children as youth, and it carries over
into our into into our into our into into a bloblin.
And that's one of the reasons why you have so
many people who are financing their lifestyles of psychologist, psychologists
and psychiatrists.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I mean one.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
But I think to the point of your question, one
of the things that I stopped doing about four or
five years old is I stopped apogizing for being me.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
I stopped apodizing to people.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
And and the the idea of the concept is often
time you people say well, i'm.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, I worked very hard
doing what I do.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I may, in certain circumstances, I may apologize for what
I say but the way I say it. But seldom
will I ever apologize for what I said, because when
I say, I stand.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Up true, so I will love. I will not apologize
for being here.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Well, I'm saying what I'm saying, Thank you so much, BG,
anybody else for this year?
Speaker 8 (12:35):
I can share because it kind of goes in line
with what b G said as far as him being him.
Speaker 9 (12:42):
I feel like, for me, I'm.
Speaker 8 (12:43):
Gonna stop being intentional about not apologizing for choosing me.
I was just talking to Fair earlier, and we were
just having a conversation about like certain decisions that I've made,
you know, always, and it probably stems from like a
long history of people pleasing and just really wanted to
be there for everybody, and then you get it to
(13:04):
this space where you just realize that everybody's choosing them,
and you're choosing.
Speaker 9 (13:10):
Them and I, you know, and it's like, okay, well
who's choosing me?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You know?
Speaker 8 (13:14):
And so even though you know, I love to show
up for people and to be there for people and
to help them and support them, I realize, like even
just this morning, that it's also kind of backing me
into a wall where it made me feel like I'm
mismanaging the things that I pray for, the things that
God has given me. And so in order to just
do my due diligence showing him that you know I
(13:36):
can handle what I pray for and what he's shown
me like, I have to learn how to manage that better,
even if that means like telling somebody else know so
I can have my stuff together. So I'm going to
be very intentional about not apologizing for choosing me.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Thank you for that I say something. I'd like to
add something to that diamond if I could.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I'd love what Shana said.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That was very powerful and very thought provoking and profound,
all wrapped up in one and lots of times we
all come to that place where we realize that maybe
we're not showing we're not fully showing up for ourselves,
but we're showing up for other people. So I'd like
(14:27):
to put a question out there for the panel to
think about. Ask yourself the question, how can I show
up best for the people that I love? How can
I show up best for the people that I love?
(14:48):
Because when we ask ourselves that question, we're gonna find
on that list that one of the answers will probably
be or should be I can show best for the
people that I love by first showing up for me.
That's the way I can show up best for people.
It's by see, sometimes we really kind of get that
(15:13):
mixed up because we think that, Okay, I'm just going
to show up for this person, that person, this person,
that person, and we feel like we're doing well best
and when helping you is hurting me, that's not showing
up as your best self.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
So I just like for us to think about that.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Ask yourself the question, how can I best show up
for the people that I love and care about? How
can I do that? And then the answer should be
is by showing up for me first and being the
best version of myself, taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, holistically,
(15:53):
showing up for myself is the best way that I
can show up for people that I love. And I'll
add to that and I'll close, And sometimes we need
to send out the memo, I can't show up for
you at this time of my life because I need
to show up for me first.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
I need to show up. I need to.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Start showing up for me first so that I can
come back and show up for you better.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know I want. I want to answer my own
question for each of you.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I asked, what's the one thing you are no longer
apologizing for? And I found myself saying, Wow, I'm asking
them this question, but I'm going to ask myself the
same question. And I figured my answer was plain and simple,
something I've always said. I am no longer apologizing for apologizing.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I will want.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Apologize for apologizing. I won't do it, you know, and
I just I can't do it. When I say something,
I say what I mean. I'm not gonna take it
back and I'm not gonna apologize for it. Anyone who's
gonna wait for an apology, they'll be waiting for a
long time because I don't say something that I don't mean.
(17:06):
So I'm very careful with the words that I choose
to say. Some may say, oh, that's rude. I'm not
going to sit there and say I'm sorry you feel
like that. I won't sit there and say that's just
your perspective of the way that you accepted what I say.
But I'm not going to explain myself. I think that
(17:27):
I made myself perfectly clear, was what I said. So
I had to sit back and think about that question.
I said, is it They're for me to ask them
that question and I don't answer it. I answer it myself.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And it took me in just about a minute just
to figure it out that I can't keep apologizing for apologizing.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It's just too much and it's just too heavy to
carry with me. So I just unloaded that weight off
of my back and if to take the truth.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
It felt good.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So who or what in your life has changed because
you start? But mm hmm yeah, sure has to shift
and a lot of healing.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
With everyone, who oh what?
Speaker 5 (18:11):
Who oh what?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
And your life has changed because you started to shift
or heal everybody.
Speaker 9 (18:17):
Lots of lots of friendships to see where.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Your real friends are, for sure, I have, I have, two, three, four.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
There are five people five people who have who have
who had sworn to be lifelong friends that I they
as social associating right now since I started the shift.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
I made the shift, but it's only people go ahead.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
No, I'm just reminded of I think it was oh gosh,
the poet may Angelo if she said, if if Glad
remove someone from from from from if Glad removes someone
for your presence, let them go.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Don't don't try to hold on the people.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
Don't try to hold on the people to the to
the point that it equates a document to you.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I'm I'm there's something I think the author's name was Rand.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
There's a nineteen sixty four I think a nineteen sixty
four novel.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
But there's something called the virtue of selfishness.
Speaker 6 (19:39):
Your name is a virtue of selfishness simply means that
it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for Ethiopia,
a country that stopped with to try to.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Put together bars to send to Europe.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
So if you can't take care of yourself, what good
do you take anybody else? I stand on that. I
stand on that platform the virtues of selfishness. If you
practice the virtues of selfishness, you're gonna take care of
you first. And most people interpret that, are you that
as being selfish? But without being selfish? Everybody has to
(20:17):
be a little bit selfish because if you can't help yourself,
what can you do for me?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
That's true, you Coole, I believe he was gonna say something.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Well.
Speaker 10 (20:33):
Throughout this journey, I kept two close friends, and I
had learned I'm learning to say no, and that that's
been a problem for me. I've always wanted to say
yes to everybody, and I can't. I'm learning and I
really can't do that because that will only drain me,
(20:55):
and I won't be able to be good for anybody
else if I'm not good for myself.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The virtues are sufficient.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
Well for me.
Speaker 11 (21:06):
It just also goes back to you know, your question
that everybody can't go with you. So it's almost like,
be careful what you pray for, because I ask God
to remove people who shouldn't be there anyway, because everybody
can go where I'm going, and so the people who
are here supposed to be here, and for me that sometime, because.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I applaud you for that, sometimes you have to remove yourself.
I have the space of others, because it's not healthy
for you to maintain that space or to figured that
it's in the best interest of the other person.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
What about the best interest of yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I've had friends, well I'm not gonna say friends, people
who I've grown up with, and many of them say
that you've changed, And I said, how so?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
And they said that you seem a little different.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You know, we always knew that you were quiet, but
you just just really just pulled back a lot. Well,
I'm just letting them know that somebody poked the band
and the band is right away now, and that's going
to be a problem because I don't think the bean
is going back to sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Because it's been poked too many times. So I think
that I'm going to move forward with that.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But there's some people that I do need and that
by addressing them with certain situations. And I'm not caring
how they take it because it needs to be said
because I'll be relieved. They may not feel that way.
They may feel that I was wrong in saying what
(22:50):
I was saying. Well, I said what I said, and
that's going to be the bottom onne of that. And yeah,
of course I meant it because I don't apologize. I'm
not apologizing anything. So I will be having conversations with
people that probably will be coming up soon that probably would.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Be I intended on uh And that was the own
person I intended on sharing this on our last broadcast.
I did tell Diamond and I didn't get a chance
to share it. And I was going to share this
at the end when we were coming to the end,
(23:27):
and I can't remember what wanted to what made me
want to share it, But we are sometimes when we
talk about change, we're looking to get to an arrival
(23:48):
spot or to get to a destination and because we
are magnificent human beings.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Where we should always.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Stay in our mind, in our heads is that our
growth is perpetual. It is perpetual. So it's not about
that I have become something hm because then when that changes,
(24:23):
then there's a certain amount of disappointment that you know.
So it's not that I have become something. I am becoming.
That is that is mine, that that is my state
of being, is that I am becoming. I am becoming.
And when does that end? It does not end because
(24:43):
I am I am, I am becoming. Even even when
we transition, we become something else. I So I live
because I am becoming. Now, what happens in relationships with people?
We talk about friendships. So let's just say if Aaron
is busy on her perpetual life journey and she is becoming,
(25:05):
she is evolving. She's always evolving, right, So she's doing that.
But if there are people in her life around her
and they're doing that, they're stuck. They're not evolving, You're stuck.
Then there's gonna be an automatic friction because you got
one person who's evolving and another individual is stuck. And
(25:29):
so it's not like you're meaning to leave them or
you have intention or in abandon them.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
And it's not like they.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Intend on treating you any particular kind of way. It's
just that you know they're stuck and you're becoming, and
as you're becoming, you're going to find that those relationships
are not going to be the same. It is automatically
going to happen. It's not anything plan. It is just
(26:01):
it's automatically because we are not and when we talk
about compatibility, we are not divinely compatible.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
We are not.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
I want anybody to remember that we are not divinely compatible.
Maybe we were compatible at one point in my life because.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
I was at a space.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Now that I am evolving, I'm not at that space anymore.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
So we are not divinely compatible, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
And because we're not divinely compatible, it's inevitable that there
is going to be a separation or moving away.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
The good news is.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
That when that person gets on the role and they
start to their journey of becoming, it is very possible
that we may collide and back up again. That is
that is very possible. So that's how they don't want
to take it personal. It's just that I am becoming.
That's what I'm doing. I am in a perpetual state
(27:07):
of being and growing. And you know, I was one
kind of author this year. This year, I'm a different
kind of author. I wrote on certain fools this year
this year. So when people come to you and say, wow,
you know, SHANEA, you really have changed up.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
No, no, I haven't. I have not changed up. I
am becoming.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
I am becoming the person that God always intended for
me to be.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
I'm not becoming I'm not I'm not being brand new.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I'm just becoming the person that God always.
Speaker 5 (27:38):
Want me to be.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
And here's the thing, and I'll close with this, but
the people who love you and the people who are
divinely connected to you, they gonna get with that. They
gonna get with that version of Shanna. They'll get with
that version. Hey, Queen, I like where you are, I
what you're becoming. As a matter of fact, I like.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
It so much.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Want to get on I want to get on that too.
I want to get I want to get with that.
I want to get with that too. So it's a
matter of that we are, we are, we are becoming.
We are perpetual human beings that are not proposed to
be stuck.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
But we are human beings. We are beings that are evolving.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
We evolving every day, every minute, every second, every hour,
We are evolving.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I thank you, ex thank you so much for that
and almost and that people heard that. Because life happens.
Life experience happens, and can people move along with that experience.
And it's not that it's changed them. It's just that
they're absorbing what they are experiencing and it could be
(28:44):
a wonderful thing for some, but then there's some that
it could be very scared, So that support is still needed.
It's not that they're not your friend or a part
of your life. It's just that they're experiencing a different
part of their life which was designed for them. And
it doesn't mean that you're excluded. It's just that they're
(29:06):
going through a process that could be very scary for
them as well. So they'll reach out or speak to
you or however your relationship was. They didn't leave me behind,
and they're not planning or leaving me behind. It's just
that they're going through a different experience and you may
be going through that same word, but someday, so as
(29:28):
they go through that experience, when they see that you're
going through it.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
They're there to be.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Able to help and support you through it because they've
experienced their way. So just give them that time. Don't
think that you've been left behind, because you're not.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
So what I want to.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Ask is, if you had to describe this season's journey
in one word, what would it be and why? But
before you do that, I want doctor Carolyn, can you
summarize and speak about life over the panel's answer? So
as they give that one word, I would like for
you to speak about life over there answer with one word.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
So if anybody can tell me.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Describe the season's journey in one word, what would it
be and why?
Speaker 9 (30:14):
I would say mine would be stretch is my one word.
And you said why, So I think I've shared before.
Speaker 8 (30:23):
So in October of twenty twenty four, I took the
Sleep of Faith to step into entrepreneurship. Now it's not
the first time I took the journey or the leap.
The first time I took it, it didn't really end well.
And I say that I learned a lot, but I
also feel like I may have leaped prematurely, and so
as I some days wrestle with if this leap was
(30:46):
that again, because you know certain things aren't lining up,
or you know, there are other days you know you
gotta rob Peter to pay Paul and you gotta, you know,
like just make heat. Literally there have been times where
I've questioned like that, like did I hear you correctly?
You know, I'm not even gonna say I question, but
I'm like I want to question, but my heart, my spirit,
like everything, I know that I'm in the right season,
(31:08):
but that doesn't mean it's not hard. And so like
there are days like I want to give up, like
should I just go get a job?
Speaker 9 (31:13):
Did I hear correctly?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
God?
Speaker 8 (31:15):
He show up just like that, Like every time I'm
second guessing myself or just wondering like if I heard
correctly or for our you know, if I'm gonna make
the same mistake again, he show up every time. And
so with him showing up every time, it stretches me further,
Like it's like, Okay, I can take another step, Okay,
I have another day to add to this entrepreneurship and
flight as just kept like, you know, even though there
(31:37):
are certain things that are not completely in place the
way I want them to, this is year one. I'm
already in month eight, like it'll be one year in October.
And last year I need to make it two months
or two years ago when I did it, I didn't
even make it two months.
Speaker 9 (31:49):
So here I am eight.
Speaker 8 (31:50):
Months in, still believe in God, still walking on water,
still like you know, just stretching my faith. And so
I just that's it has to be my seating for
this word, and I'm allowing him to do it. And
I'm in that place of uncomfortability and uncertainty, but like
he's still showing up, like I've said a prayer to that,
I said, God, like I just heard this testimony that
(32:11):
you did with my friend said she asked God to
that she didn't really trust him in the area of
her finances. So can you, you know, just show me
right quick, almost asking for a mantle. And so I
think that's the right word, you know, a fleece, not
a mantal, a fleece. And so I said, well, God,
I said, let me try this fleece thing. I said, Lord,
if you really want me to do this, and I'm
coming to you correctly, like as your daughter, you know, humbly,
(32:33):
if this is a move that I believe you're telling
me to make, you know, show up, you know, put
a deposit on my account, and I went to sleep.
Speaker 9 (32:41):
I took a nap, like and this was like an hour.
Speaker 8 (32:44):
I took a nap and my nap was on about
thirty minutes and then I woke up because it was
time to get on the show. And then my first
lady called me and she said she was just talking
or whatever, and she said, did you check your bank account?
And I was like, well, no, you know, I didn't
check it because I wasn't really you know, you know,
You're like, I'm not second stuff, but I'm not ac
secting the stuff.
Speaker 9 (33:02):
She said, well, don't check it. Just know that it's
in there. I said, well, come on, did like you
you know?
Speaker 12 (33:07):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (33:08):
And it was it was from and I know it
was God because when it was from a recordable source,
you know, like it wasn't for you know, just like
some random I mean not to say it's random, because
God moves I think in the random, but it was
just it was something was so intentional and purposeful.
Speaker 9 (33:22):
And I was just like like, Lord, you can hear me, and.
Speaker 8 (33:24):
Like, I know I'm in the right season. It's hard,
but you told Peter if you stepped out on that boat.
He kept his eyes on you. Then you was gonna
grab them. So I'm like, I'm believing in that season.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
So Shana, that you can't have the perfect word stretch,
DoD need to see what one word do you have
for Shana? One word reflection about her? One word or
one word was stretched.
Speaker 10 (33:57):
I have a word with the one word that I
am doing, the one word stretch.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I think that's a that's a that's that's that's a
phenomenal the word for her. I think I would add
to it authentic, authentic because I saw her something today
like a twenty platform thing that she's doing, and when
I saw it, I said, that's you girl right here,
(34:29):
that you right now, that is you. So I think
Shana is coming into her authentically. I think she's coming
into her.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Thin word word. I have one word.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
What is your word?
Speaker 5 (34:50):
Strength or strengthening?
Speaker 10 (34:52):
It takes a lot of strength to be authentic and
to be to stretch, it takes a lot of strength.
Speaker 4 (34:59):
M hm okay, So doctor C she said strength, what
is your one word that reflects on her word for strength? Ooh,
I would have thought these would have been easier. I'm
(35:22):
gonna say flexibility.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Oh Okayle, I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
I'm gonna say flexibility.
Speaker 13 (35:31):
I know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
And that and that word both for both of you.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It fits because I known Nicole and she has been flexible.
You got to get to know and she has been
flexible and she's been flexible in so many different ways
that it has been a.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Stretch for her. And again you have to get to
know him.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
But I'm very proud of her for making the moves
that she's made and becoming.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Who she's meant to be.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
So I'm of that for So, what promise do you
want to make to yourself moving forward from this season?
We get one person that needs to adder that. What
promise do you want to make to yourself moving forward
from this season?
Speaker 11 (36:18):
I will say to keep showing up and being intentional.
That's the promise I'm keeping from myself.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
You know I love that word intentional.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Yeah, that's that's the promise to what would what would
you say? And I think that's a perfect word I have.
I've mentioned that word to someone else and it fits them.
To me, it fits them, And to be intentional is
to be intentional to what would you say to someone
who's listening who feels like their cracks mean they can't
(36:52):
ever be whole? Doctor C, can you leave a prescription
or an audience and in the panel a challenge or
affirmation to carry forward. First, I would say, how do
you how do you as an individual define being whole?
(37:18):
That's very important because if you look if you look
at I'm just gonna pretend I'll say, well, black Diamond
is a whole person. And if I try to measure
my life up according to the way that I see
her as whole, as to how I frame my definition
(37:40):
as whole, then I'm already going to be disappointed.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
So one, what is your definition of being whole? Okay?
Speaker 4 (37:49):
What is your The Bible tells us that God wants
us to be whole and entire and lacking nothing. And
I love that he wants us to be lacking nothing.
And immediately when we think of lacking nothing, we automatically
(38:09):
think of money. And I would say, to be whole,
we got to get our mind out of thinking about
money all the time. Okay, because lacking nothing. So what
does that mean to you? What does wholeness mean to you?
It's getting a good definition of what a whole life
(38:32):
means means to you and is striving to live a
whole life body, soul and spirit. What does that mean
to you? That would be my uh prescription. What does
what does that mean? What does that mean to you?
What does that look like for you? And allowing yourself
(38:53):
to be intentional about and when we talk about intentionality
and being intentional is one of my favorites words that
I use every day. But let's just say that you
say to yourself, well, I feel that being whole is
this okay? So being intentional means is what I'm doing
right now? Is the decision that I'm making right now
(39:17):
going to put me in the place of wholeness of
where I want to be.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
So no, it is not. Then I need to.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Be intentional about coming away from that space, that environment,
those people. It's about being intentional, not living life had
living life haphazardly, but having being intentional about your goals,
whether there's spiritously, mentally, financial, financially, being an intentional person
(39:47):
in everything that you do.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Thank you so much for that. You know, when we
started this journey, I didn't know how deep we'll go.
I just knew we needed something real, something wrong, something
that spoke to the broken places we've all been taught
to hide. What I've witnessed over these past few months
is nothing short of sacred. I've seen people step out
from behind Shane and into their truth. I've seen tears
(40:14):
become testimonies and silence become strength. Some of us came
in thinking we were too damaged, too far gone, to unfinished,
to begin again.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
But what we found was this.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
It's not the absence of cracks that's making us strong.
It's what we choose to do with them. It's how
we rise anyway, how we speak when we used to
swallow our voice, how we walk when we used to
crawl just.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
To get by.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
This isn't the end. It's a sacred pause, a breath
before the next chapter. And I hope that whatever and
wherever this message finds you, you feel seen, you feel reminded,
You've be worthy because you are so.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
From my heart to yours, I want to thank you.
Thank you for showing up, for standing ended, for staying
when healing got hard. And as you go, I pray
you remember this. You don't have to be whole to
be worthy, you just have to be willing. So until
next time, I am black diamond, and this has been
cracks in the surface strengths and the core not easily broken.
(41:23):
We rise, and we don't rise alone, but we're not alone,
and we're not done. I want you to mark your
calendars because on Friday, September fifth, at eight o'clock right here,
we're going back. We're coming back with.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Doctor Caroon Stevens for a special episode celebrating the Distinguished
Authors Guild DAG nominees. It's going to be a special
night of recognition, resilience, and inspiration. Until then, keep rising,
keep growing, and as always, thanks for keeping it.
Speaker 13 (41:56):
Basing you guys this journey. It has been something that
can help me.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
All the way.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
And you guys being present, I felt like I'm really
selfish right now. I felt like you were present for
me in ways that I couldn't even explain. There has
been things that has been going on behind the scenes
that I'm gonna be honest that I was too embarrassed
to reveal, and that's still happening right now.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
But things are clearing up. So I do see.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
An opening for me and I'm happy with that and
I'm making decisions this time. I'm making decisions for me
and I'm gonna tell you, I was scared because decisions
have always been made for me growing up, for me
to do this, for me to do that. But now
that I have a decision that I have to make,
I'm scared because I have other people's lives in my
hand and it's about me every day. Am I going
(43:01):
to make the right decision? Is this decision just for me?
Or is it for everybody who's gonna benefit from it?
But I'm not trying to be selfish. For over forty years,
I have been taking care of other people. Now I
have to take care of me. And I've been seeing
it every day. I go in the mayor and not looking,
(43:21):
I said, that's not even me. I don't know who
that person is, but it's not me. So I want
to get back to me. I want to get back
to happy.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
But as I said that, the pair has been poked
and she's wide awake now.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
And that's as far as I'm going to go with that.
Speaker 12 (43:43):
Sure it's true.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, it's like the airplane.
That's the airplane ride. You have to put the mask
on yourself before you can put it.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
On the next person. Yeah, and that's exactly where I'm
at now,
Anyone else will shah, wow, that's so nice to hear.
(01:13):
Thank you so much for sharing. Anybody else want to share? Yeah,
(01:53):
it's true, and I'm so glad and I was able
to share that during your journey. Hm, go back head beach.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
K and and and and and now I was saying
(02:49):
before a sweepers pings, so I got all the I
think I got all.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
The cowboys this time.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
No, I'm so glad that you was able to join
this because you had a lot to bring to the table.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Doctor Carolyn, You've been here.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
With us for every one of these conversations, watching each
panelist share their truth and evolved from your perspective. What
are your observation on the panelists growth and the seasoned schemes?
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Well, uh, if I may be candidate, before I.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Before I made my comment, uh, I would like for
us to take a brief moment.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
We we we were.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Privy to some some news about our sister. So the
therapist is having a U having a moment. Yah, thank
(04:17):
you so much.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Human is really a straight mind.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So what setbacks or relaxes have taught you the most
about your resilience? Because I've seen resilience throughout each and
every one of them. What setbacks or relaxes have taught
you the most about your resilience?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, mhm. Anybody want to share.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Mhm yeah, m hmm.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Well I've said something at this particular moment and that
they they can walk allow me to have my moment.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
You know, I I often, uh, I often share with
my clients. I have a.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
That's something that I that I often say, and that
is that it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
One of the things that I have uh discovered about
resilience and uh throughout our journey together here on the panel.
This wasn't intentional, but I found myself redefining words for us,
or redefining phrases for us, because what I do understand
(05:49):
is that it's our perspective and how we look at
a thing or how we see a thing, which will
allow us to maybe respond two things.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
In a much more different way.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
And when we use that term resilient, you know, lots
of times people would call me and they say, hey, Doc, Carolyn,
how are you doing? And I would respond and say,
I feel resilient, you know, I feel you know, because
we have such a habit of always saying hey, I'm
doing fine, I'm doing okay, I'm doing fine, I'm doing okay,
(06:24):
and we do and we rehearse that narrative so much
until we just believe it ourselves. You know, we really
believe it ourselves that every day we just okay, or
even if we just know that we're really not okay,
we just we have rehearsed the narrative so much as
if though we are in some kind of a dramatic
(06:46):
play or something where we feel like if people ask me,
I have to say I'm okay or I'm doing doing fine,
or if you're a religious person, then you might say
something like, oh, I'm blessed, you know, never point the.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
World is falling apart. And so, don't get me wrong,
I do believe in discretion.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I believe that we have people that we feel comfortable
with disclosing or not disclosing too. But when I think
about resilience, just like I have this moment and not
really I'm I'm in tears right now. There would have
been years and years ago that I would not have
(07:30):
said to you all, hey, right now on set, I'm
having a moment because I've done lots of television and
stuff like that, and I know that you just don't
do that kind of thing on TV. But one of
the things that I have found out about myself and
about people, and I try to set that example for
people because most people would say of me that I'm
(07:52):
a pretty strong person. I'm strong because of him. So
that's the first thing I want to say. But it's
okay to be okay. And I think resilience is best
demonstrated when we show people that we are human.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
We are not machines, we're not robotical.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
We have moments, we cry, we get angry, we get mad,
and so it's okay to be with people in a
very human way so that they too understand you know what, Wow,
(08:33):
I'm still resilient. I'm making it through this, but at
this moment, I may not be fair enough very well.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
I may not be doing very well, and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
And this is part of how we can normalize when
we talk about mental health disparities and stuff like that,
because we want to keep ourselves very real even though
we're encountering something. So I've always been a pretty really
authentic person. But you know, I do know that I'm
a professional, and so I was really big on presentation.
(09:07):
But I don't know if this has something to do
with age or just where I am in life, But
now it's just something that's natural exactly. I just let
people experience me this and and in this moment, you know,
I'm here with people that I love, and I just
(09:29):
heard some news and uh, I'm not okay, And it's
okay to say that. It's okay to say it's okay
to say that, and it's okay especially when you're in
a safe space. But I am going to make it
through it. That's the resilient part. I am making it
(09:50):
through it. I showed up and I'm here, you know,
so that that's that's our level of resilience. So I
think that one of the beautiful things about this group
of people is that we have formed what I would
deem as a safe space where we're able to be
a bit more open about where we are in our
(10:12):
emotional and mental uh uh spaces within ourselves. And I
think that's a good different for the world to see.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
The part of this question for each of you, what
is the one thing you are no longer apologizing for?
Speaker 6 (10:33):
Mhm, you speak on that, yep. I think the from
a very young age. Most of us are for lack
of a better educated or or or poll.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We we we're.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
Given this this false diconomy, like you know, the first
thing you hear as a young as a boy, as
a child, oh men, don't cry. And we grow up,
you know, believing these things or embracing these things that
(11:20):
were given as children as youth, and it carries over
into our into into our into our into into a bloblin.
And that's one of the reasons why you have so
many people who are financing their lifestyles of psychologist, psychologists
and psychiatrists.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I mean one.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
But I think to the point of your question, one
of the things that I stopped doing about four or
five years old is I stopped apogizing for being me.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
I stopped apodizing to people.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
And and the the idea of the concept is often
time you people say well, i'm.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, I worked very hard
doing what I do.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I may, in certain circumstances, I may apologize for what
I say but the way I say it. But seldom
will I ever apologize for what I said, because when
I say, I stand.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Up true, so I will love. I will not apologize
for being here.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Well, I'm saying what I'm saying, Thank you so much, BG,
anybody else for this year?
Speaker 8 (12:35):
I can share because it kind of goes in line
with what b G said as far as him being him.
Speaker 9 (12:42):
I feel like, for me, I'm.
Speaker 8 (12:43):
Gonna stop being intentional about not apologizing for choosing me.
I was just talking to Fair earlier, and we were
just having a conversation about like certain decisions that I've made,
you know, always, and it probably stems from like a
long history of people pleasing and just really wanted to
be there for everybody, and then you get it to
(13:04):
this space where you just realize that everybody's choosing them,
and you're choosing.
Speaker 9 (13:10):
Them and I, you know, and it's like, okay, well
who's choosing me?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You know?
Speaker 8 (13:14):
And so even though you know, I love to show
up for people and to be there for people and
to help them and support them, I realize, like even
just this morning, that it's also kind of backing me
into a wall where it made me feel like I'm
mismanaging the things that I pray for, the things that
God has given me. And so in order to just
do my due diligence showing him that you know I
(13:36):
can handle what I pray for and what he's shown
me like, I have to learn how to manage that better,
even if that means like telling somebody else know so
I can have my stuff together. So I'm going to
be very intentional about not apologizing for choosing me.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Thank you for that I say something. I'd like to
add something to that diamond if I could.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I'd love what Shana said.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That was very powerful and very thought provoking and profound,
all wrapped up in one and lots of times we
all come to that place where we realize that maybe
we're not showing we're not fully showing up for ourselves,
but we're showing up for other people. So I'd like
(14:27):
to put a question out there for the panel to
think about. Ask yourself the question, how can I show
up best for the people that I love? How can
I show up best for the people that I love?
(14:48):
Because when we ask ourselves that question, we're gonna find
on that list that one of the answers will probably
be or should be I can show best for the
people that I love by first showing up for me.
That's the way I can show up best for people.
It's by see, sometimes we really kind of get that
(15:13):
mixed up because we think that, Okay, I'm just going
to show up for this person, that person, this person,
that person, and we feel like we're doing well best
and when helping you is hurting me, that's not showing
up as your best self.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
So I just like for us to think about that.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Ask yourself the question, how can I best show up
for the people that I love and care about? How
can I do that? And then the answer should be
is by showing up for me first and being the
best version of myself, taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, holistically,
(15:53):
showing up for myself is the best way that I
can show up for people that I love. And I'll
add to that and I'll close, And sometimes we need
to send out the memo, I can't show up for
you at this time of my life because I need
to show up for me first.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
I need to show up. I need to.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Start showing up for me first so that I can
come back and show up for you better.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know I want. I want to answer my own
question for each of you.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I asked, what's the one thing you are no longer
apologizing for? And I found myself saying, Wow, I'm asking
them this question, but I'm going to ask myself the
same question. And I figured my answer was plain and simple,
something I've always said. I am no longer apologizing for apologizing.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I will want.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Apologize for apologizing. I won't do it, you know, and
I just I can't do it. When I say something,
I say what I mean. I'm not gonna take it
back and I'm not gonna apologize for it. Anyone who's
gonna wait for an apology, they'll be waiting for a
long time because I don't say something that I don't mean.
(17:06):
So I'm very careful with the words that I choose
to say. Some may say, oh, that's rude. I'm not
going to sit there and say I'm sorry you feel
like that. I won't sit there and say that's just
your perspective of the way that you accepted what I say.
But I'm not going to explain myself. I think that
(17:27):
I made myself perfectly clear, was what I said. So
I had to sit back and think about that question.
I said, is it They're for me to ask them
that question and I don't answer it. I answer it myself.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And it took me in just about a minute just
to figure it out that I can't keep apologizing for apologizing.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It's just too much and it's just too heavy to
carry with me. So I just unloaded that weight off
of my back and if to take the truth.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
It felt good.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So who or what in your life has changed because
you start? But mm hmm yeah, sure has to shift
and a lot of healing.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
With everyone, who oh what?
Speaker 5 (18:11):
Who oh what?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
And your life has changed because you started to shift
or heal everybody.
Speaker 9 (18:17):
Lots of lots of friendships to see where.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Your real friends are, for sure, I have, I have, two, three, four.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
There are five people five people who have who have
who had sworn to be lifelong friends that I they
as social associating right now since I started the shift.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
I made the shift, but it's only people go ahead.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
No, I'm just reminded of I think it was oh gosh,
the poet may Angelo if she said, if if Glad
remove someone from from from from if Glad removes someone
for your presence, let them go.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Don't don't try to hold on the people.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
Don't try to hold on the people to the to
the point that it equates a document to you.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I'm I'm there's something I think the author's name was Rand.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
There's a nineteen sixty four I think a nineteen sixty
four novel.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
But there's something called the virtue of selfishness.
Speaker 6 (19:39):
Your name is a virtue of selfishness simply means that
it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for Ethiopia,
a country that stopped with to try to.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Put together bars to send to Europe.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
So if you can't take care of yourself, what good
do you take anybody else? I stand on that. I
stand on that platform the virtues of selfishness. If you
practice the virtues of selfishness, you're gonna take care of
you first. And most people interpret that, are you that
as being selfish? But without being selfish? Everybody has to
(20:17):
be a little bit selfish because if you can't help yourself,
what can you do for me?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
That's true, you Coole, I believe he was gonna say something.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Well.
Speaker 10 (20:33):
Throughout this journey, I kept two close friends, and I
had learned I'm learning to say no, and that that's
been a problem for me. I've always wanted to say
yes to everybody, and I can't. I'm learning and I
really can't do that because that will only drain me,
(20:55):
and I won't be able to be good for anybody
else if I'm not good for myself.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The virtues are sufficient.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
Well for me.
Speaker 11 (21:06):
It just also goes back to you know, your question
that everybody can't go with you. So it's almost like,
be careful what you pray for, because I ask God
to remove people who shouldn't be there anyway, because everybody
can go where I'm going, and so the people who
are here supposed to be here, and for me that sometime, because.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I applaud you for that, sometimes you have to remove yourself.
I have the space of others, because it's not healthy
for you to maintain that space or to figured that
it's in the best interest of the other person.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
What about the best interest of yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I've had friends, well I'm not gonna say friends, people
who I've grown up with, and many of them say
that you've changed, And I said, how so?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
And they said that you seem a little different.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You know, we always knew that you were quiet, but
you just just really just pulled back a lot. Well,
I'm just letting them know that somebody poked the band
and the band is right away now, and that's going
to be a problem because I don't think the bean
is going back to sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Because it's been poked too many times. So I think
that I'm going to move forward with that.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But there's some people that I do need and that
by addressing them with certain situations. And I'm not caring
how they take it because it needs to be said
because I'll be relieved. They may not feel that way.
They may feel that I was wrong in saying what
(22:50):
I was saying. Well, I said what I said, and
that's going to be the bottom onne of that. And yeah,
of course I meant it because I don't apologize. I'm
not apologizing anything. So I will be having conversations with
people that probably will be coming up soon that probably would.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Be I intended on uh And that was the own
person I intended on sharing this on our last broadcast.
I did tell Diamond and I didn't get a chance
to share it. And I was going to share this
at the end when we were coming to the end,
(23:27):
and I can't remember what wanted to what made me
want to share it, But we are sometimes when we
talk about change, we're looking to get to an arrival
(23:48):
spot or to get to a destination and because we
are magnificent human beings.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Where we should always.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Stay in our mind, in our heads is that our
growth is perpetual. It is perpetual. So it's not about
that I have become something hm because then when that changes,
(24:23):
then there's a certain amount of disappointment that you know.
So it's not that I have become something. I am becoming.
That is that is mine, that that is my state
of being, is that I am becoming. I am becoming.
And when does that end? It does not end because
(24:43):
I am I am, I am becoming. Even even when
we transition, we become something else. I So I live
because I am becoming. Now, what happens in relationships with people?
We talk about friendships. So let's just say if Aaron
is busy on her perpetual life journey and she is becoming,
(25:05):
she is evolving. She's always evolving, right, So she's doing that.
But if there are people in her life around her
and they're doing that, they're stuck. They're not evolving, You're stuck.
Then there's gonna be an automatic friction because you got
one person who's evolving and another individual is stuck. And
(25:29):
so it's not like you're meaning to leave them or
you have intention or in abandon them.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
And it's not like they.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Intend on treating you any particular kind of way. It's
just that you know they're stuck and you're becoming, and
as you're becoming, you're going to find that those relationships
are not going to be the same. It is automatically
going to happen. It's not anything plan. It is just
(26:01):
it's automatically because we are not and when we talk
about compatibility, we are not divinely compatible.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
We are not.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
I want anybody to remember that we are not divinely compatible.
Maybe we were compatible at one point in my life because.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
I was at a space.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Now that I am evolving, I'm not at that space anymore.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
So we are not divinely compatible, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
And because we're not divinely compatible, it's inevitable that there
is going to be a separation or moving away.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
The good news is.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
That when that person gets on the role and they
start to their journey of becoming, it is very possible
that we may collide and back up again. That is
that is very possible. So that's how they don't want
to take it personal. It's just that I am becoming.
That's what I'm doing. I am in a perpetual state
(27:07):
of being and growing. And you know, I was one
kind of author this year. This year, I'm a different
kind of author. I wrote on certain fools this year
this year. So when people come to you and say, wow,
you know, SHANEA, you really have changed up.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
No, no, I haven't. I have not changed up. I
am becoming.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
I am becoming the person that God always intended for
me to be.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
I'm not becoming I'm not I'm not being brand new.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I'm just becoming the person that God always.
Speaker 5 (27:38):
Want me to be.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
And here's the thing, and I'll close with this, but
the people who love you and the people who are
divinely connected to you, they gonna get with that. They
gonna get with that version of Shanna. They'll get with
that version. Hey, Queen, I like where you are, I
what you're becoming. As a matter of fact, I like.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
It so much.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Want to get on I want to get on that too.
I want to get I want to get with that.
I want to get with that too. So it's a
matter of that we are, we are, we are becoming.
We are perpetual human beings that are not proposed to
be stuck.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
But we are human beings. We are beings that are evolving.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
We evolving every day, every minute, every second, every hour,
We are evolving.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I thank you, ex thank you so much for that
and almost and that people heard that. Because life happens.
Life experience happens, and can people move along with that experience.
And it's not that it's changed them. It's just that
they're absorbing what they are experiencing and it could be
(28:44):
a wonderful thing for some, but then there's some that
it could be very scared, So that support is still needed.
It's not that they're not your friend or a part
of your life. It's just that they're experiencing a different
part of their life which was designed for them. And
it doesn't mean that you're excluded. It's just that they're
(29:06):
going through a process that could be very scary for
them as well. So they'll reach out or speak to
you or however your relationship was. They didn't leave me behind,
and they're not planning or leaving me behind. It's just
that they're going through a different experience and you may
be going through that same word, but someday, so as
(29:28):
they go through that experience, when they see that you're
going through it.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
They're there to be.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Able to help and support you through it because they've
experienced their way. So just give them that time. Don't
think that you've been left behind, because you're not.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
So what I want to.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Ask is, if you had to describe this season's journey
in one word, what would it be and why? But
before you do that, I want doctor Carolyn, can you
summarize and speak about life over the panel's answer? So
as they give that one word, I would like for
you to speak about life over there answer with one word.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
So if anybody can tell me.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Describe the season's journey in one word, what would it
be and why?
Speaker 9 (30:14):
I would say mine would be stretch is my one word.
And you said why, So I think I've shared before.
Speaker 8 (30:23):
So in October of twenty twenty four, I took the
Sleep of Faith to step into entrepreneurship. Now it's not
the first time I took the journey or the leap.
The first time I took it, it didn't really end well.
And I say that I learned a lot, but I
also feel like I may have leaped prematurely, and so
as I some days wrestle with if this leap was
(30:46):
that again, because you know certain things aren't lining up,
or you know, there are other days you know you
gotta rob Peter to pay Paul and you gotta, you know,
like just make heat. Literally there have been times where
I've questioned like that, like did I hear you correctly?
You know, I'm not even gonna say I question, but
I'm like I want to question, but my heart, my spirit,
like everything, I know that I'm in the right season,
(31:08):
but that doesn't mean it's not hard. And so like
there are days like I want to give up, like
should I just go get a job?
Speaker 9 (31:13):
Did I hear correctly?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
God?
Speaker 8 (31:15):
He show up just like that, Like every time I'm
second guessing myself or just wondering like if I heard
correctly or for our you know, if I'm gonna make
the same mistake again, he show up every time. And
so with him showing up every time, it stretches me further,
Like it's like, Okay, I can take another step, Okay,
I have another day to add to this entrepreneurship and
flight as just kept like, you know, even though there
(31:37):
are certain things that are not completely in place the
way I want them to, this is year one. I'm
already in month eight, like it'll be one year in October.
And last year I need to make it two months
or two years ago when I did it, I didn't
even make it two months.
Speaker 9 (31:49):
So here I am eight.
Speaker 8 (31:50):
Months in, still believe in God, still walking on water,
still like you know, just stretching my faith. And so
I just that's it has to be my seating for
this word, and I'm allowing him to do it. And
I'm in that place of uncomfortability and uncertainty, but like
he's still showing up, like I've said a prayer to that,
I said, God, like I just heard this testimony that
(32:11):
you did with my friend said she asked God to
that she didn't really trust him in the area of
her finances. So can you, you know, just show me
right quick, almost asking for a mantle. And so I
think that's the right word, you know, a fleece, not
a mantal, a fleece. And so I said, well, God,
I said, let me try this fleece thing. I said, Lord,
if you really want me to do this, and I'm
coming to you correctly, like as your daughter, you know, humbly,
(32:33):
if this is a move that I believe you're telling
me to make, you know, show up, you know, put
a deposit on my account, and I went to sleep.
Speaker 9 (32:41):
I took a nap, like and this was like an hour.
Speaker 8 (32:44):
I took a nap and my nap was on about
thirty minutes and then I woke up because it was
time to get on the show. And then my first
lady called me and she said she was just talking
or whatever, and she said, did you check your bank account?
And I was like, well, no, you know, I didn't
check it because I wasn't really you know, you know,
You're like, I'm not second stuff, but I'm not ac
secting the stuff.
Speaker 9 (33:02):
She said, well, don't check it. Just know that it's
in there. I said, well, come on, did like you
you know?
Speaker 12 (33:07):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (33:08):
And it was it was from and I know it
was God because when it was from a recordable source,
you know, like it wasn't for you know, just like
some random I mean not to say it's random, because
God moves I think in the random, but it was
just it was something was so intentional and purposeful.
Speaker 9 (33:22):
And I was just like like, Lord, you can hear me, and.
Speaker 8 (33:24):
Like, I know I'm in the right season. It's hard,
but you told Peter if you stepped out on that boat.
He kept his eyes on you. Then you was gonna
grab them. So I'm like, I'm believing in that season.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
So Shana, that you can't have the perfect word stretch,
DoD need to see what one word do you have
for Shana? One word reflection about her? One word or
one word was stretched.
Speaker 10 (33:57):
I have a word with the one word that I
am doing, the one word stretch.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I think that's a that's a that's that's that's a
phenomenal the word for her. I think I would add
to it authentic, authentic because I saw her something today
like a twenty platform thing that she's doing, and when
I saw it, I said, that's you girl right here,
(34:29):
that you right now, that is you. So I think
Shana is coming into her authentically. I think she's coming
into her.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Thin word word. I have one word.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
What is your word?
Speaker 5 (34:50):
Strength or strengthening?
Speaker 10 (34:52):
It takes a lot of strength to be authentic and
to be to stretch, it takes a lot of strength.
Speaker 4 (34:59):
M hm okay, So doctor C she said strength, what
is your one word that reflects on her word for strength? Ooh,
I would have thought these would have been easier. I'm
(35:22):
gonna say flexibility.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Oh Okayle, I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
I'm gonna say flexibility.
Speaker 13 (35:31):
I know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
And that and that word both for both of you.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It fits because I known Nicole and she has been flexible.
You got to get to know and she has been
flexible and she's been flexible in so many different ways
that it has been a.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Stretch for her. And again you have to get to
know him.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
But I'm very proud of her for making the moves
that she's made and becoming.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Who she's meant to be.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
So I'm of that for So, what promise do you
want to make to yourself moving forward from this season?
We get one person that needs to adder that. What
promise do you want to make to yourself moving forward
from this season?
Speaker 11 (36:18):
I will say to keep showing up and being intentional.
That's the promise I'm keeping from myself.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
You know I love that word intentional.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Yeah, that's that's the promise to what would what would
you say? And I think that's a perfect word I have.
I've mentioned that word to someone else and it fits them.
To me, it fits them, And to be intentional is
to be intentional to what would you say to someone
who's listening who feels like their cracks mean they can't
(36:52):
ever be whole? Doctor C, can you leave a prescription
or an audience and in the panel a challenge or
affirmation to carry forward. First, I would say, how do
you how do you as an individual define being whole?
(37:18):
That's very important because if you look if you look
at I'm just gonna pretend I'll say, well, black Diamond
is a whole person. And if I try to measure
my life up according to the way that I see
her as whole, as to how I frame my definition
(37:40):
as whole, then I'm already going to be disappointed.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
So one, what is your definition of being whole? Okay?
Speaker 4 (37:49):
What is your The Bible tells us that God wants
us to be whole and entire and lacking nothing. And
I love that he wants us to be lacking nothing.
And immediately when we think of lacking nothing, we automatically
(38:09):
think of money. And I would say, to be whole,
we got to get our mind out of thinking about
money all the time. Okay, because lacking nothing. So what
does that mean to you? What does wholeness mean to you?
It's getting a good definition of what a whole life
(38:32):
means means to you and is striving to live a
whole life body, soul and spirit. What does that mean
to you? That would be my uh prescription. What does
what does that mean? What does that mean to you?
What does that look like for you? And allowing yourself
(38:53):
to be intentional about and when we talk about intentionality
and being intentional is one of my favorites words that
I use every day. But let's just say that you
say to yourself, well, I feel that being whole is
this okay? So being intentional means is what I'm doing
right now? Is the decision that I'm making right now
(39:17):
going to put me in the place of wholeness of
where I want to be.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
So no, it is not. Then I need to.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Be intentional about coming away from that space, that environment,
those people. It's about being intentional, not living life had
living life haphazardly, but having being intentional about your goals,
whether there's spiritously, mentally, financial, financially, being an intentional person
(39:47):
in everything that you do.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Thank you so much for that. You know, when we
started this journey, I didn't know how deep we'll go.
I just knew we needed something real, something wrong, something
that spoke to the broken places we've all been taught
to hide. What I've witnessed over these past few months
is nothing short of sacred. I've seen people step out
from behind Shane and into their truth. I've seen tears
(40:14):
become testimonies and silence become strength. Some of us came
in thinking we were too damaged, too far gone, to unfinished,
to begin again.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
But what we found was this.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
It's not the absence of cracks that's making us strong.
It's what we choose to do with them. It's how
we rise anyway, how we speak when we used to
swallow our voice, how we walk when we used to
crawl just.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
To get by.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
This isn't the end. It's a sacred pause, a breath
before the next chapter. And I hope that whatever and
wherever this message finds you, you feel seen, you feel reminded,
You've be worthy because you are so.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
From my heart to yours, I want to thank you.
Thank you for showing up, for standing ended, for staying
when healing got hard. And as you go, I pray
you remember this. You don't have to be whole to
be worthy, you just have to be willing. So until
next time, I am black diamond, and this has been
cracks in the surface strengths and the core not easily broken.
(41:23):
We rise, and we don't rise alone, but we're not alone,
and we're not done. I want you to mark your
calendars because on Friday, September fifth, at eight o'clock right here,
we're going back. We're coming back with.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Doctor Caroon Stevens for a special episode celebrating the Distinguished
Authors Guild DAG nominees. It's going to be a special
night of recognition, resilience, and inspiration. Until then, keep rising,
keep growing, and as always, thanks for keeping it.
Speaker 13 (41:56):
Basing you guys this journey. It has been something that
can help me.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
All the way.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
And you guys being present, I felt like I'm really
selfish right now. I felt like you were present for
me in ways that I couldn't even explain. There has
been things that has been going on behind the scenes
that I'm gonna be honest that I was too embarrassed
to reveal, and that's still happening right now.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
But things are clearing up. So I do see.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
An opening for me and I'm happy with that and
I'm making decisions this time. I'm making decisions for me
and I'm gonna tell you, I was scared because decisions
have always been made for me growing up, for me
to do this, for me to do that. But now
that I have a decision that I have to make,
I'm scared because I have other people's lives in my
hand and it's about me every day. Am I going
(43:01):
to make the right decision? Is this decision just for me?
Or is it for everybody who's gonna benefit from it?
But I'm not trying to be selfish. For over forty years,
I have been taking care of other people. Now I
have to take care of me. And I've been seeing
it every day. I go in the mayor and not looking,
(43:21):
I said, that's not even me. I don't know who
that person is, but it's not me. So I want
to get back to me. I want to get back
to happy.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
But as I said that, the pair has been poked
and she's wide awake now.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
And that's as far as I'm going to go with that.
Speaker 12 (43:43):
Sure it's true.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, it's like the airplane.
That's the airplane ride. You have to put the mask
on yourself before you can put it.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
On the next person. Yeah, and that's exactly where I'm
at now,
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