October 10, 2025 • 29 mins
- Podcast: B.A.D.D. 2 Business, which stands for “Bring A Diverse Discussion to the Business Table”.
- Host: The host of the show is Shynen Saffron.
- Network: The podcast airs live on Da Crew Podcast network.
- Schedule: The show airs on the 2nd Friday and 4th Sunday of the month.
- Listen: Episodes are available on platforms including Amazon Music, Audacy, and Facebook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Legs and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The
show starts in ten mine eight seven, six five? Shoot? Cool?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's up? What's up? What's up? Folks?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Give me just a second, let me get everything straight. Hello, Hello, Hello,
I am your host, Shining Saffron. Welcome to another episode
of Bad to Business. I'm gonna give some people a
second to tap in so we can get in with
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Get myself set up.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
That's why I can get tapped in on several conversations,
because this is gonna be pretty.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Good on this episode here.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I didn't really think that I had to make it
like an episode or PSA announcement, so to speak. However,
I've been having some conversation with some people and over
the past couple of weeks and even experience some things myself,
and it's always been a little pet peeve of mine, and.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So I just thought i'd share, you know, see what
y'all thought.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Maybe in the comments, y'all can give me a difference
of opinion. You know, if you have been following me,
you know my podcast is bad to Bad to Business,
bringing all diverse discussions to business. So I always want
to bring a difference of opinion to the table, whether
it's you know, changing my opinion or we get to
change somebody else's opinion. So we always want to be
(02:36):
included in the conversation and you know, see what we
can bring to the business table. So come on, tap in,
tap in, Happy Friday, tgif we are thanking God that
we made it this far, because the weeks can be harsh. Again,
(02:58):
if you are able to tap in, I'm glad that
you made it this far. Please have a seat wherever
you know you can provide one for yourself. Get comfy
just for a minute. I'm just gonna take up a
little bit of your time and like I said, I'm
just gonna see what you'renna think about something. So again
I am your host, Shine and Saffron, you are witnessing
(03:21):
another episode of bad Too business.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Thank you for tapping in for me.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Hey, hey, we're getting ready to get started. Come on in,
have a seat at the at the business table. I'm
getting ready to share something that I call manipulating the
mulberry bush. And the reason why I kind of came
(03:47):
up with that is because these conversations, so you know
how people say you're beating around the bush, okay, and
that was kind of the inspiration.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Around the mowberry bush. Of course, here we go around
the moberry bush. Yeah, all that thing.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
So skipping around the mowberry bush, but manipulating the mulberry bush.
Not not only are you skipping around or beating around
what you want to talk about, but you're kind of
manipulating it in a way that you try to make
it seem like it's not what it really is, you know.
So I just want to kind of talk to y'all
(04:26):
about that this evening and see what y'all think. Again,
hit me up in the chats or in the comments,
hit me up in the DMS message me. I can
revisit this conversation because, like I said, I didn't think
I was gonna make this a whole thing. But with
the experiences and the conversations I've had with some people,
they've been venting to me a little bit, and uh,
(04:50):
I just I just I just felt like it was necessary.
It was some things to be said. So come on in,
tap in, tap in, Welcome to bad to business, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. Okay,
I'm gonna go ahead and get started with this, get
this stuff rolling because you know, again it's Friday.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't want to take up too much of your time.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I'm sure you got stuff to do, and I definitely
just want to get through this type of conversation and
just see what kind of, you know, resolutions we can
come to in this type of thing. Maybe you can
offer some good advice because I, you know, I feel
some type of way, and we'll just see. So again,
(05:32):
this episode is about manipulating the mulberry bush. If you're
just joining in, hey, joining in. It's just about people
beating around the point of what they want to talk
about and still trying to make it seem like it's
not what it is.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And I feel like, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
We should talk about this because I've never really understood
why people, you know, I guess, tiptoe around what really
needs to be said. Now, you do have some straightforward people,
what I call straight talkers. I'm known to be one
of them, But I'm also known to be a little aggressive.
(06:11):
Maybe sometimes it seems a little I'm insensitive. That might
just be my nature, but I have not only lived
a life but work some jobs that are straight to
the point. Let's turry up and get a resolution and
that's how life should be anyway. You shouldn't be so
concerned about the problem and not working towards the resolution.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
So I don't think that's a bad thing first for
me to do. I don't think it's a bad thing
for you to do anybody else that needs to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Just get straight to the point, right.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But I found that in these conversations and experiences that
just in these last couple of weeks and in my experiences,
that there have been three types of bushes, so to speak,
that people tend to beat around for the most part,
(07:01):
and that comes to monetary, informational and emotional monetary information
on emotional. So let's start off with monetary. So let's
say somebody just needs to borrow some money from you,
or you know, borrow some some type of something of value,
(07:24):
whatever the case may be. They need to borrow your
car something like that, and they can't seem to get
to that. They got to tell you the whole story,
or they got to tell you the whole SIB story.
And you know that if you like most of us,
we don't do pity parties, we don't do crisis conversations.
We just really want to get to the point and
the reason why you want to do that, especially in
(07:44):
a monetary situation or I need a I need a
favor type of situation is you.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Don't want to waste time.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Most of the time it's time sensitive, so you definitely
don't want to waste time asking somebody for something. We're
trying to get to the point of something.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
What our all a long story to a short point.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
You know, long story short, but I mean the point
is so short, the favor be so quick. But if
you waste that time trying to tell somebody the whole
story and the whole background and making them trying to
feel sorry for your whatever the case may be, and
then they can't help you. Now you've wasted that time
telling them that story, and now you got a rush
to go somewhere else, and then what end up telling
(08:25):
that whole story again?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's just not worth it.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Or you tell them to them, you tell it to
the people, and they really they can help you, But
now y'all in a rush to hurry up and get something.
By the time you get to the end of that conversation,
you're like, Okay, well, now the bank's closed, right, so
how am I supposed to help like you're of if
you would have asked me, you know, an hour ago,
(08:49):
we've been sitting here, you asking me how things gone,
how the kids done, all that, because you really wanted
to ask me for a favor. I am that straight talk.
So get straight to the point now. I do understand
that there are times you do have to elaborate when
people ask you. You know, if you are calling to
(09:10):
just ask somebody for a favor, you're trying to get
to the point of something, get there, Let them go
ahead and either tell you they can help you or they.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Can't, you know, and leave it there.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I just think that it's you know, it's unnecessary conversation,
and it seems to sometimes it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Can burn more bridges than build them.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Right that same bridge you're trying to cross, you're trying
to ask that favor, you're trying to, you know, whatever
it is you need, you end up having conversation that
leads to stuff that doesn't need to be talked about
when you're trying to get to that point. Right, So,
just having a conversation with someone just to get to
this point or just to kind of highlight this point.
(09:59):
I'm talking about talking to somebody and she said that,
you know, she was in a situation where someone needed
a favor from her, and instead of him just getting
to the point and saying, hey, can you do this
for me, he kind of went around the point and
you know, tried to start conversation that she really wasn't
(10:19):
trying to have in the first place.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And you can kind of tell you can get the
vibe when somebody's like.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Uh huh uh huh uh huh. Okay, they're unresponsive. If
you will, it's a conversation. But she she wasn't trying.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To have the conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
So the more he talked of apparently, you know, the
more it seemed irrelevant to her, and he ended up,
I guess, you know, in the midst of small talk,
wanted to ask some questions that had nothing to do
with him, of course, right, and now she's at a
(10:58):
level of irritation and of what are you talking about?
Why are we even talking about this at this point?
You know, what's the point? Now she starts to get
a little more anxious because now I realize that we're
having a conversation that we shouldn't even be having with
each other anyway. But again, all in favor of or
(11:20):
trying to get to. I need a favor from you.
So now by the time you get to this is
what I really need, the person's already upset. They're tired
of talking to you. You don't asked questions and said
things that didn't need to be said. You know, you've
even talked about the things your your pity party or
(11:41):
whatever it is. That the story that you wanted to
tell them that they may or may not believe.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
And that's the whole thing too.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
The sermon is a you know, is a powerful prayer
because you got to know when to give your energy
to something and when not to. You got to know
who to talk to who not to talk to. Again,
I feel like the people that need that story, that
backup story or that background story is the people that
ask So it's really unnecessary. But so anyway, that type
(12:11):
of situation, I've been through it. Somebody told me that
they've been through it. Where again, you just need to
ask the favor. And again now it's time sensitive. Now
we gotta hurry up and get to something. Now we
gotta hurry up and figure this out. Or now you
gotta hurry up and figure it out because you don't
waste it time for somebody to give you a solid note,
(12:33):
and you could have just said, can you do this?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
No cool, save me a lot of time. Appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Right, Let's get to another bush, the informational bush. It's
real big, used to be real big with me. It's
not too big with me anymore because you know, let
me see, one of the best slogans I've found to
express the way I feel is, you know, I ain't
(13:01):
got nothing to hide, but I ain't got ith to
tell you either. But I am really big on don't
ask my neighbor come to me, Really big on that,
really big on that, especially if it's somebody who talks
to me on a regular basis, somebody who knows me.
(13:22):
And you know, you just got those nosy type of
people around you, or concerned people around you, and they
just want to kind of know what's going on, and
they're too afraid to ask you your business. Go figure,
too afraid to ask you your business, but they're not
(13:44):
afraid to ask your neighbor if they've seen what's going
on over the fence. So I've experienced that a lot
in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I'm pretty sure you.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Have experienced a lot of that in your life and
if you never or have salute to you, because it's
really annoying to have somebody who can stand right next
to you and still ask somebody else about you. So
and when I found myself even in that situation, and
(14:18):
I asked the person why they couldn't just ask me
why they felt the need to go and ask somebody else,
or you know, ask the person next to me, as
though the person was just gonna give up that information
that easy on me.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And she said, well, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
You tend to get a little snappy when people ask
you about your business. Okay, I take that, you know,
I take that it can happen, But like I had
to explain to this person, sometimes you just got to
check what you're asking, especially if you feel like I'm
(14:56):
gonna get snappy about it now, I will get so fancastic,
you know. And even I told this person, I mean,
how mad can I get? How upset can I get?
Like what actually can come out of you just asking
me what you want to know and not beating around
the bush or you know, even I've had somebody even
(15:18):
make up something to see my reaction so that they
could ask me something. Just come on, we just at
this point, we really live in a time sensitive world,
so we don't need all that extra stuff. Let's get
to what we're trying to get to. I guarantee you
we'll accomplish so much more in the short period of
time we still have left. But so, yeah, you gotta
(15:43):
check what you're asking. And some people do get snappy
about what you ask them. Celebrities go through it all
the time. I'm no type of celebrity, but I am
about what is even necessary for somebody to know. Now,
if you're asking me something that keeps stuff rolling, if
we're in partnership, you know a family member who needs
(16:05):
to know something so they can move forward, I mean,
by all means, share that with me. But if you
just asking because you just want to know, and then
you get to the point where you know, if you
ask me, I'm gonna get a little testy, sarcastic and
feel some type of way. So you then decide to
ask somebody else.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Come on, man, we can't do that. We cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I mean, again, the people that are in these situations,
they ain't the first and ain't gonna be the last.
But I just really felt like, come on, what's really
going on? What is really going on? Like, can we
not waste this time talking about what we need and
(16:53):
just you know, asking hey, this is what I need,
and see what happens. And if you can't get it
from the person you're asking, you know, then go ask
somebody else.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But it's that simple.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And like I said, especially when it's time sensitive, it
just seems like it's a domino effect. You know, you're
setting up these dominoes to knock them down, but I
don't even know if people know which way that the
domino is going. The dominoes are spending again, it takes
(17:27):
so long to get them down because you know you're
doing more than two or three. You got to tell
the whole backstory. So let's move on to the next bush.
So we had the monetary bush where we're asking for
favors and takes people so long to get there.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Time sensitive.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I need a favor, I need a place to say
I need some money, I need something, and you need
not take all day to ask me because I might
not be able to help you by the time you
finish asking me. Right then we got the informational bush,
where you are seeking for information. I, for one, suggest
you make sure that it's need to know information, especially
(18:03):
if you're coming at me about it, it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Make it make sense.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And if you're not gonna come to me about it,
just you know, make it make sense to yourself before
you try to go and ask somebody else about me.
You know, it's been one of my things where I
don't ask a lot about other people's business because if
I'm going to open that door to ask their business
and receive their information, that opens mind too.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
It's just unnecessary. And again, I.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Ain't got nothing to hide, but I ain't got nothing
to share, you know, So I'll give the information where
it's needed. Next bush emotional and in this one it's
more so like emotional support. You know, there's sometimes we
really need that and we don't know how to ask
for that.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I will pull my own card.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I'll clean up the stuff out of my own eye
before where I pick out somebody else's eye. I do
know people in the situation like that, but I'm one
of them. I'm one of them, one of those people
who cannot ask for help or it's hard, you know,
And I'm starting to since I've identified that that's what
(19:21):
I need to do, you know, I've been this shape
shifter to survival and I'm gonna get into that in
another episode. But I've been a shape shifter to survival
so long that asking for help seems like letting down
a line of defense. And of course, you know, I'm
always on the defense. I'm I'm a mama bear and
(19:43):
I've been that way and a protector for a long time.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Provider and protector for a long time.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
So I can't let any of the empire that God
has allowed me to build get crushed over anything stupid. So,
but things do get hard, they get rough, they get heavy,
and it's hard to say, hey, things are hard, rough
and heavy. Sometimes I feel like.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
The people around me, or.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
You know the well I'm gonna say, the people around
me should already know because they are already seeing it.
I am one of those people that are like a
see a need, feeling need. And I had to kind
of calm that down because I realized that a lot
of those things were distractions. I was jumping into things.
My last episode talked about me and Jazzy talked about discernment,
(20:40):
knowing when to help when not to, and sometimes the
devil knows that you are one of those spirits that
are a ce a need feeling need type of person,
and he'll throw those distractions so you can just squirrel
right off your path. Right, But with this one, the
emotional support, you know how to ask for help, and
(21:04):
you don't know how to say it. I remember a
situation where I saw someone get really upset because she
they were in a relationship, and she expressed something to
her spouse and I guess she expected him, excuse me,
excuse me. From the way I saw it, she expected
him to react a different way, and he reacted his way.
(21:27):
All right, he's a man, she's a woman, and there
was nothing leading to the conversation.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
She she was fishing, you know, for what she needed, but.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
He didn't respond well, which ultimately again setting up those dominoes.
He didn't respond the way she wanted him to, which
ultimately made her respond not well.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
And I just kind of watched it unfold.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I did say my two piece in it, but ultimately
that's their relationship. But I just felt like, wow, she
could have just said something like, well, you know, wow,
I expected you to say this, or.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You know, well how about.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
This, or you know, I don't want to get too
much into that part of the situation because I'm no
longer around that situation and it wouldn't be fair to
tell that person's business.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
But I just saw that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
She needed some emotional support, and because she didn't know
how to ask for it, he didn't know how to
respond to it. It caused a bad domino effect. The
dominoes fell out of control. So with these beaten around
the bushes, and again the conversation tonight is about manipulating
(22:51):
the mulberry bush. So not only are you beating around
a bush, but you're making it seem like that's not
what you're trying to get to. That's not the point
you're curving a conversation. I don't know if it's to
make you more comfortable. I don't know how that goes
for people who are not straight talkers, like myself, But
I also know that being a straight talker is or
(23:14):
can be, a gift and a curse. I've experienced some loss,
some loss, some friendship loss just being straightforward about some things.
You know, the Bible tells you that the tongue is
a two edge sward, so you gotta be careful how
you how you put it out there. And because of
(23:35):
how to return. And I know I've had this running
joke with my cousin where it's like, you know, I
gotta be careful how I talk to people, because I
realize I can be a little straight talker and a
little more sarcastic than I need to be at most times.
And I've said things like are the running joke is,
you know, people can't talk to me the way I
(23:57):
talk to them, you know, And I know that sounds,
you know, one sided, I know, which.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Is why I had to kind of switch that up
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
So I just wanted to come with y'all tonight, bring
this to the business table, and see if we can
get some type of resolution. I need y'all to stop
beating around the bush.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I don't know who it is that you're trying to
talk to.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Honestly, you know, less words, less feelings, right, less words,
less emotions.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
If you just get straight to the point, you don't.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Start to think about what the other person's thinking, you
don't start to feel a different body language. Because I
remember one thing my grandmother used to say is I
can't give you good advice without knowing the whole story.
You know, of course, I only want to tell her
bits and pieces about something that was going on before.
She was just like, this don't sound right. You know,
(24:48):
I want to tell you this, but then something sounds
a miss message. So get straight to the point. I
get it that it is sometimes hard scary, but like
I said, depending on who you're talking to, if you're
cool with the person, it shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Be that hard.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
It really shouldn't be that hard. We bail and fail
on relationships, friendships, partnerships because we really can't just say
what we need.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
There is a way to say things.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I remember my mom used to say, it's not what
you say, is how you say it. So definitely hang
on to that. But I just want to share that
with y'all. I'm not going to make this too long,
but like I said, I didn't think I had to
make this a PSA announcement or make this a whole episode,
(25:46):
but this was just something that was coming up and
I just I couldn't take it anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I really couldn't.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
There are people who need stuff, want stuff, and they
just they take too long to get to the point.
So I'm not going to prolong this. I want you
to hit me up, let me know what you think
got a lot of different things going on. I'm just
go ahead and in that because that's that right. I'm
(26:16):
not gonna prolong that conversation any longer. That's that Moving forward.
I got some different things going on, some different projects
coming up. I know I've been kind of off the
scene for a little bit, but I've been trying to
get some other things established, uh, you know, build other
things up so that I can, you know, just be
(26:39):
the queen of the castles that I need to be.
It takes some time to rebuild your mind as you're
rebuilding yourself. I've taken a lot of time to myself.
I didn't post a lot. I haven't really been showing up.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Again.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
If you've been following me, one of my first episodes
was God telling me I need to show up.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And you know, disobedience is is its own punishment.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
So there are ways that I know I been I
was supposed to show up, and you know, I let
false false evidence appearing real fear kind of hinder me.
And I really gotta shake that. So one thing that
I was standing on this morning, I was praying with
God and are praying to God, and you know, f
(27:35):
fear and cancer too. Happy Cancer Month to all those survivors.
But f fear because and cancer because both have the
ability to deteriorate your life. But you got to have
the fight of faith in both situations. And there is
(27:56):
a chance that you'll come through. You know, you cancer
survivors and you and you fearful survivors. I'm about to
be a fearful survivor. It will happen. It will happen.
So anyway, got a lot of stuff coming up. I
hope that you guys can join me. Keep tuned, I mean,
(28:17):
keep connected to me. I'm doing a lot more posts
and getting out there. I got some some projects that's
going in the way that uh that I really need
them to go. I'm gonna need some help, you know.
I might be reaching out and stuff. I got some
new episodes coming up. I might be reaching out to
some of y'all. Some of y'all have already reached out
(28:39):
to the next episode were working on is our entrepreneurship episode.
I hope y'all can tune in, and again, if you're
still willing to be part of the panel, you can
hit me up.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
We'll squeeze in.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
That one's gonna be good because I feel like it
can reach one teach many. So I hope y'all stay
tuned and yeah, just stay connected with me. See what
was going on again? I am your host, Shining Saffron.
Thank you for joining Bad to Business and I hope
that we got something resolved today. I hope that y'all
got something out of this today. If you didn't tell me,
(29:14):
you didn't. If you did, tell me what you did
both times, say something all right? Thank you for tuning in.
Happy Friday to everybody. If you're going out, be safe.
If you're not going out, have fun at home, you know,
have fun with yourself, have fun with your kids, have
fun with your pets, have fun with yourself. Okay, be
(29:37):
safe in all of it. Signing out,
Legs and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The
show starts in ten mine eight seven, six five? Shoot? Cool?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's up? What's up? What's up? Folks?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Give me just a second, let me get everything straight. Hello, Hello, Hello,
I am your host, Shining Saffron. Welcome to another episode
of Bad to Business. I'm gonna give some people a
second to tap in so we can get in with
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Get myself set up.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
That's why I can get tapped in on several conversations,
because this is gonna be pretty.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Good on this episode here.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I didn't really think that I had to make it
like an episode or PSA announcement, so to speak. However,
I've been having some conversation with some people and over
the past couple of weeks and even experience some things myself,
and it's always been a little pet peeve of mine, and.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So I just thought i'd share, you know, see what
y'all thought.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Maybe in the comments, y'all can give me a difference
of opinion. You know, if you have been following me,
you know my podcast is bad to Bad to Business,
bringing all diverse discussions to business. So I always want
to bring a difference of opinion to the table, whether
it's you know, changing my opinion or we get to
change somebody else's opinion. So we always want to be
(02:36):
included in the conversation and you know, see what we
can bring to the business table. So come on, tap in,
tap in, Happy Friday, tgif we are thanking God that
we made it this far, because the weeks can be harsh. Again,
(02:58):
if you are able to tap in, I'm glad that
you made it this far. Please have a seat wherever
you know you can provide one for yourself. Get comfy
just for a minute. I'm just gonna take up a
little bit of your time and like I said, I'm
just gonna see what you'renna think about something. So again
I am your host, Shine and Saffron, you are witnessing
(03:21):
another episode of bad Too business.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Thank you for tapping in for me.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Hey, hey, we're getting ready to get started. Come on in,
have a seat at the at the business table. I'm
getting ready to share something that I call manipulating the
mulberry bush. And the reason why I kind of came
(03:47):
up with that is because these conversations, so you know
how people say you're beating around the bush, okay, and
that was kind of the inspiration.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Around the mowberry bush. Of course, here we go around
the moberry bush. Yeah, all that thing.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
So skipping around the mowberry bush, but manipulating the mulberry bush.
Not not only are you skipping around or beating around
what you want to talk about, but you're kind of
manipulating it in a way that you try to make
it seem like it's not what it really is, you know.
So I just want to kind of talk to y'all
(04:26):
about that this evening and see what y'all think. Again,
hit me up in the chats or in the comments,
hit me up in the DMS message me. I can
revisit this conversation because, like I said, I didn't think
I was gonna make this a whole thing. But with
the experiences and the conversations I've had with some people,
they've been venting to me a little bit, and uh,
(04:50):
I just I just I just felt like it was necessary.
It was some things to be said. So come on in,
tap in, tap in, Welcome to bad to business, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. Okay,
I'm gonna go ahead and get started with this, get
this stuff rolling because you know, again it's Friday.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't want to take up too much of your time.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I'm sure you got stuff to do, and I definitely
just want to get through this type of conversation and
just see what kind of, you know, resolutions we can
come to in this type of thing. Maybe you can
offer some good advice because I, you know, I feel
some type of way, and we'll just see. So again,
(05:32):
this episode is about manipulating the mulberry bush. If you're
just joining in, hey, joining in. It's just about people
beating around the point of what they want to talk
about and still trying to make it seem like it's
not what it is.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And I feel like, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
We should talk about this because I've never really understood
why people, you know, I guess, tiptoe around what really
needs to be said. Now, you do have some straightforward people,
what I call straight talkers. I'm known to be one
of them, But I'm also known to be a little aggressive.
(06:11):
Maybe sometimes it seems a little I'm insensitive. That might
just be my nature, but I have not only lived
a life but work some jobs that are straight to
the point. Let's turry up and get a resolution and
that's how life should be anyway. You shouldn't be so
concerned about the problem and not working towards the resolution.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
So I don't think that's a bad thing first for
me to do. I don't think it's a bad thing
for you to do anybody else that needs to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Just get straight to the point, right.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But I found that in these conversations and experiences that
just in these last couple of weeks and in my experiences,
that there have been three types of bushes, so to speak,
that people tend to beat around for the most part,
(07:01):
and that comes to monetary, informational and emotional monetary information
on emotional. So let's start off with monetary. So let's
say somebody just needs to borrow some money from you,
or you know, borrow some some type of something of value,
(07:24):
whatever the case may be. They need to borrow your
car something like that, and they can't seem to get
to that. They got to tell you the whole story,
or they got to tell you the whole SIB story.
And you know that if you like most of us,
we don't do pity parties, we don't do crisis conversations.
We just really want to get to the point and
the reason why you want to do that, especially in
(07:44):
a monetary situation or I need a I need a
favor type of situation is you.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Don't want to waste time.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Most of the time it's time sensitive, so you definitely
don't want to waste time asking somebody for something. We're
trying to get to the point of something.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
What our all a long story to a short point.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
You know, long story short, but I mean the point
is so short, the favor be so quick. But if
you waste that time trying to tell somebody the whole
story and the whole background and making them trying to
feel sorry for your whatever the case may be, and
then they can't help you. Now you've wasted that time
telling them that story, and now you got a rush
to go somewhere else, and then what end up telling
(08:25):
that whole story again?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's just not worth it.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Or you tell them to them, you tell it to
the people, and they really they can help you, But
now y'all in a rush to hurry up and get something.
By the time you get to the end of that conversation,
you're like, Okay, well, now the bank's closed, right, so
how am I supposed to help like you're of if
you would have asked me, you know, an hour ago,
(08:49):
we've been sitting here, you asking me how things gone,
how the kids done, all that, because you really wanted
to ask me for a favor. I am that straight talk.
So get straight to the point now. I do understand
that there are times you do have to elaborate when
people ask you. You know, if you are calling to
(09:10):
just ask somebody for a favor, you're trying to get
to the point of something, get there, Let them go
ahead and either tell you they can help you or they.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Can't, you know, and leave it there.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I just think that it's you know, it's unnecessary conversation,
and it seems to sometimes it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Can burn more bridges than build them.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Right that same bridge you're trying to cross, you're trying
to ask that favor, you're trying to, you know, whatever
it is you need, you end up having conversation that
leads to stuff that doesn't need to be talked about
when you're trying to get to that point. Right, So,
just having a conversation with someone just to get to
this point or just to kind of highlight this point.
(09:59):
I'm talking about talking to somebody and she said that,
you know, she was in a situation where someone needed
a favor from her, and instead of him just getting
to the point and saying, hey, can you do this
for me, he kind of went around the point and
you know, tried to start conversation that she really wasn't
(10:19):
trying to have in the first place.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And you can kind of tell you can get the
vibe when somebody's like.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Uh huh uh huh uh huh. Okay, they're unresponsive. If
you will, it's a conversation. But she she wasn't trying.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To have the conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
So the more he talked of apparently, you know, the
more it seemed irrelevant to her, and he ended up,
I guess, you know, in the midst of small talk,
wanted to ask some questions that had nothing to do
with him, of course, right, and now she's at a
(10:58):
level of irritation and of what are you talking about?
Why are we even talking about this at this point?
You know, what's the point? Now she starts to get
a little more anxious because now I realize that we're
having a conversation that we shouldn't even be having with
each other anyway. But again, all in favor of or
(11:20):
trying to get to. I need a favor from you.
So now by the time you get to this is
what I really need, the person's already upset. They're tired
of talking to you. You don't asked questions and said
things that didn't need to be said. You know, you've
even talked about the things your your pity party or
(11:41):
whatever it is. That the story that you wanted to
tell them that they may or may not believe.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
And that's the whole thing too.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
The sermon is a you know, is a powerful prayer
because you got to know when to give your energy
to something and when not to. You got to know
who to talk to who not to talk to. Again,
I feel like the people that need that story, that
backup story or that background story is the people that
ask So it's really unnecessary. But so anyway, that type
(12:11):
of situation, I've been through it. Somebody told me that
they've been through it. Where again, you just need to
ask the favor. And again now it's time sensitive. Now
we gotta hurry up and get to something. Now we
gotta hurry up and figure this out. Or now you
gotta hurry up and figure it out because you don't
waste it time for somebody to give you a solid note,
(12:33):
and you could have just said, can you do this?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
No cool, save me a lot of time. Appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Right, Let's get to another bush, the informational bush. It's
real big, used to be real big with me. It's
not too big with me anymore because you know, let
me see, one of the best slogans I've found to
express the way I feel is, you know, I ain't
(13:01):
got nothing to hide, but I ain't got ith to
tell you either. But I am really big on don't
ask my neighbor come to me, Really big on that,
really big on that, especially if it's somebody who talks
to me on a regular basis, somebody who knows me.
(13:22):
And you know, you just got those nosy type of
people around you, or concerned people around you, and they
just want to kind of know what's going on, and
they're too afraid to ask you your business. Go figure,
too afraid to ask you your business, but they're not
(13:44):
afraid to ask your neighbor if they've seen what's going
on over the fence. So I've experienced that a lot
in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I'm pretty sure you.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Have experienced a lot of that in your life and
if you never or have salute to you, because it's
really annoying to have somebody who can stand right next
to you and still ask somebody else about you. So
and when I found myself even in that situation, and
(14:18):
I asked the person why they couldn't just ask me
why they felt the need to go and ask somebody else,
or you know, ask the person next to me, as
though the person was just gonna give up that information
that easy on me.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And she said, well, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
You tend to get a little snappy when people ask
you about your business. Okay, I take that, you know,
I take that it can happen, But like I had
to explain to this person, sometimes you just got to
check what you're asking, especially if you feel like I'm
(14:56):
gonna get snappy about it now, I will get so fancastic,
you know. And even I told this person, I mean,
how mad can I get? How upset can I get?
Like what actually can come out of you just asking
me what you want to know and not beating around
the bush or you know, even I've had somebody even
(15:18):
make up something to see my reaction so that they
could ask me something. Just come on, we just at
this point, we really live in a time sensitive world,
so we don't need all that extra stuff. Let's get
to what we're trying to get to. I guarantee you
we'll accomplish so much more in the short period of
time we still have left. But so, yeah, you gotta
(15:43):
check what you're asking. And some people do get snappy
about what you ask them. Celebrities go through it all
the time. I'm no type of celebrity, but I am
about what is even necessary for somebody to know. Now,
if you're asking me something that keeps stuff rolling, if
we're in partnership, you know a family member who needs
(16:05):
to know something so they can move forward, I mean,
by all means, share that with me. But if you
just asking because you just want to know, and then
you get to the point where you know, if you
ask me, I'm gonna get a little testy, sarcastic and
feel some type of way. So you then decide to
ask somebody else.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Come on, man, we can't do that. We cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I mean, again, the people that are in these situations,
they ain't the first and ain't gonna be the last.
But I just really felt like, come on, what's really
going on? What is really going on? Like, can we
not waste this time talking about what we need and
(16:53):
just you know, asking hey, this is what I need,
and see what happens. And if you can't get it
from the person you're asking, you know, then go ask
somebody else.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But it's that simple.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And like I said, especially when it's time sensitive, it
just seems like it's a domino effect. You know, you're
setting up these dominoes to knock them down, but I
don't even know if people know which way that the
domino is going. The dominoes are spending again, it takes
(17:27):
so long to get them down because you know you're
doing more than two or three. You got to tell
the whole backstory. So let's move on to the next bush.
So we had the monetary bush where we're asking for
favors and takes people so long to get there.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Time sensitive.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I need a favor, I need a place to say
I need some money, I need something, and you need
not take all day to ask me because I might
not be able to help you by the time you
finish asking me. Right then we got the informational bush,
where you are seeking for information. I, for one, suggest
you make sure that it's need to know information, especially
(18:03):
if you're coming at me about it, it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Make it make sense.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And if you're not gonna come to me about it,
just you know, make it make sense to yourself before
you try to go and ask somebody else about me.
You know, it's been one of my things where I
don't ask a lot about other people's business because if
I'm going to open that door to ask their business
and receive their information, that opens mind too.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
It's just unnecessary. And again, I.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Ain't got nothing to hide, but I ain't got nothing
to share, you know, So I'll give the information where
it's needed. Next bush emotional and in this one it's
more so like emotional support. You know, there's sometimes we
really need that and we don't know how to ask
for that.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I will pull my own card.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I'll clean up the stuff out of my own eye
before where I pick out somebody else's eye. I do
know people in the situation like that, but I'm one
of them. I'm one of them, one of those people
who cannot ask for help or it's hard, you know,
And I'm starting to since I've identified that that's what
(19:21):
I need to do, you know, I've been this shape
shifter to survival and I'm gonna get into that in
another episode. But I've been a shape shifter to survival
so long that asking for help seems like letting down
a line of defense. And of course, you know, I'm
always on the defense. I'm I'm a mama bear and
(19:43):
I've been that way and a protector for a long time.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Provider and protector for a long time.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
So I can't let any of the empire that God
has allowed me to build get crushed over anything stupid. So,
but things do get hard, they get rough, they get heavy,
and it's hard to say, hey, things are hard, rough
and heavy. Sometimes I feel like.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
The people around me, or.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
You know the well I'm gonna say, the people around
me should already know because they are already seeing it.
I am one of those people that are like a
see a need, feeling need. And I had to kind
of calm that down because I realized that a lot
of those things were distractions. I was jumping into things.
My last episode talked about me and Jazzy talked about discernment,
(20:40):
knowing when to help when not to, and sometimes the
devil knows that you are one of those spirits that
are a ce a need feeling need type of person,
and he'll throw those distractions so you can just squirrel
right off your path. Right, But with this one, the
emotional support, you know how to ask for help, and
(21:04):
you don't know how to say it. I remember a
situation where I saw someone get really upset because she
they were in a relationship, and she expressed something to
her spouse and I guess she expected him, excuse me,
excuse me. From the way I saw it, she expected
him to react a different way, and he reacted his way.
(21:27):
All right, he's a man, she's a woman, and there
was nothing leading to the conversation.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
She she was fishing, you know, for what she needed, but.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
He didn't respond well, which ultimately again setting up those dominoes.
He didn't respond the way she wanted him to, which
ultimately made her respond not well.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
And I just kind of watched it unfold.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I did say my two piece in it, but ultimately
that's their relationship. But I just felt like, wow, she
could have just said something like, well, you know, wow,
I expected you to say this, or.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You know, well how about.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
This, or you know, I don't want to get too
much into that part of the situation because I'm no
longer around that situation and it wouldn't be fair to
tell that person's business.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
But I just saw that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
She needed some emotional support, and because she didn't know
how to ask for it, he didn't know how to
respond to it. It caused a bad domino effect. The
dominoes fell out of control. So with these beaten around
the bushes, and again the conversation tonight is about manipulating
(22:51):
the mulberry bush. So not only are you beating around
a bush, but you're making it seem like that's not
what you're trying to get to. That's not the point
you're curving a conversation. I don't know if it's to
make you more comfortable. I don't know how that goes
for people who are not straight talkers, like myself, But
I also know that being a straight talker is or
(23:14):
can be, a gift and a curse. I've experienced some loss,
some loss, some friendship loss just being straightforward about some things.
You know, the Bible tells you that the tongue is
a two edge sward, so you gotta be careful how
you how you put it out there. And because of
(23:35):
how to return. And I know I've had this running
joke with my cousin where it's like, you know, I
gotta be careful how I talk to people, because I
realize I can be a little straight talker and a
little more sarcastic than I need to be at most times.
And I've said things like are the running joke is,
you know, people can't talk to me the way I
(23:57):
talk to them, you know, And I know that sounds,
you know, one sided, I know, which.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Is why I had to kind of switch that up
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
So I just wanted to come with y'all tonight, bring
this to the business table, and see if we can
get some type of resolution. I need y'all to stop
beating around the bush.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I don't know who it is that you're trying to
talk to.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Honestly, you know, less words, less feelings, right, less words,
less emotions.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
If you just get straight to the point, you don't.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Start to think about what the other person's thinking, you
don't start to feel a different body language. Because I
remember one thing my grandmother used to say is I
can't give you good advice without knowing the whole story.
You know, of course, I only want to tell her
bits and pieces about something that was going on before.
She was just like, this don't sound right. You know,
(24:48):
I want to tell you this, but then something sounds
a miss message. So get straight to the point. I
get it that it is sometimes hard scary, but like
I said, depending on who you're talking to, if you're
cool with the person, it shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Be that hard.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
It really shouldn't be that hard. We bail and fail
on relationships, friendships, partnerships because we really can't just say
what we need.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
There is a way to say things.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I remember my mom used to say, it's not what
you say, is how you say it. So definitely hang
on to that. But I just want to share that
with y'all. I'm not going to make this too long,
but like I said, I didn't think I had to
make this a PSA announcement or make this a whole episode,
(25:46):
but this was just something that was coming up and
I just I couldn't take it anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I really couldn't.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
There are people who need stuff, want stuff, and they
just they take too long to get to the point.
So I'm not going to prolong this. I want you
to hit me up, let me know what you think
got a lot of different things going on. I'm just
go ahead and in that because that's that right. I'm
(26:16):
not gonna prolong that conversation any longer. That's that Moving forward.
I got some different things going on, some different projects
coming up. I know I've been kind of off the
scene for a little bit, but I've been trying to
get some other things established, uh, you know, build other
things up so that I can, you know, just be
(26:39):
the queen of the castles that I need to be.
It takes some time to rebuild your mind as you're
rebuilding yourself. I've taken a lot of time to myself.
I didn't post a lot. I haven't really been showing up.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Again.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
If you've been following me, one of my first episodes
was God telling me I need to show up.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And you know, disobedience is is its own punishment.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
So there are ways that I know I been I
was supposed to show up, and you know, I let
false false evidence appearing real fear kind of hinder me.
And I really gotta shake that. So one thing that
I was standing on this morning, I was praying with
God and are praying to God, and you know, f
(27:35):
fear and cancer too. Happy Cancer Month to all those survivors.
But f fear because and cancer because both have the
ability to deteriorate your life. But you got to have
the fight of faith in both situations. And there is
(27:56):
a chance that you'll come through. You know, you cancer
survivors and you and you fearful survivors. I'm about to
be a fearful survivor. It will happen. It will happen.
So anyway, got a lot of stuff coming up. I
hope that you guys can join me. Keep tuned, I mean,
(28:17):
keep connected to me. I'm doing a lot more posts
and getting out there. I got some some projects that's
going in the way that uh that I really need
them to go. I'm gonna need some help, you know.
I might be reaching out and stuff. I got some
new episodes coming up. I might be reaching out to
some of y'all. Some of y'all have already reached out
(28:39):
to the next episode were working on is our entrepreneurship episode.
I hope y'all can tune in, and again, if you're
still willing to be part of the panel, you can
hit me up.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
We'll squeeze in.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
That one's gonna be good because I feel like it
can reach one teach many. So I hope y'all stay
tuned and yeah, just stay connected with me. See what
was going on again? I am your host, Shining Saffron.
Thank you for joining Bad to Business and I hope
that we got something resolved today. I hope that y'all
got something out of this today. If you didn't tell me,
(29:14):
you didn't. If you did, tell me what you did
both times, say something all right? Thank you for tuning in.
Happy Friday to everybody. If you're going out, be safe.
If you're not going out, have fun at home, you know,
have fun with yourself, have fun with your kids, have
fun with your pets, have fun with yourself. Okay, be
(29:37):
safe in all of it. Signing out,
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