August 18, 2025 • 32 mins
Missed the show “Self-Care vs. Self-Love: What’s the Difference—and Do You Need Both?” Catch the replay with The Royal Mic host Zachery Williams and special guest Michelle R. (Zeta Phi Beta, mom, and more).Watch here:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Legs and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The
show starts in turn right seven, sh Hi, shoot one cool.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Hey you guys. I know, I know, I know y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Miss me, y'all, miss me, I miss me, I miss
y'all too. Man, Welcome to your royal Mike Broadcast. Is
your boy, your truly mister boy, Missus Zachary Win aka
Missus zach Attack Dose.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
W know it. Man.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
It's good to be.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Here again with you guys man today today, Today has.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Been a long day, but we are here. Ready. I
am ready to talk to y'all. So today I have
a special special guest. She is joining me. She's my sister,
she is my.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Sorrow, Zeta Phi Beta. That's welcome, Michelle. Come on, Michelle,
let's get only here.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Hello, Hello, z five gar.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
How are you doing today?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Who? It's been a monday? This Monday has been monday
in Okay. You see see a dog outside trying to
make everybody listening to mama, you know, just handling business
out of contact vendors. Today I've been doing the thing saying,
but a chicken wing.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So my first question for you before we dive right,
and you know My lessoner is my you know, my
lucker is my audience. Want to tell us about yourself,
those who don't know you.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Well, First of all, as you already mentioned, I'm a
member of the most fabulous d not organization that has
ever been created. They took I make the sorority incorporated. Okay,
that's first and foremost. Okay. Second of all, I am
a mom, I am a child of God visionary, I'm
an entrepreneur. I'm an insurance agent. Okay. In my insurance
(03:04):
company is called Cornerstone Wealth Advisory and Insurance Services, since
with life insurance, Medicare first timers and those already on Medicare,
and also with investments. And I'm a single mama of
four beautiful children, two boys and two girls and three teenagers. Anyway,
(03:26):
but yes, the applications, well, I just want to say
thank you for taking the time out of your schedule
and coming on my broadcast around problem as everybody be
theirself and we talking about real conversations. So today we
are going to talk about you know, self care, self love.
(03:49):
You know, I want Tom off with an icebreaker for you,
right all right? So okay, so ready.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So when people hear about the phases of self care.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
You know, they all would think about, you know, a
spa day, but when you hear it, when it comes
to your mind at first self care, the first thing
about is rest, because my thing is rest isn't always
laying down prostrates, which is laying flat feet propped up
with the pillows and your little cucumber sizes in your eyes.
It's rested to make sure.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Are things getting done? Are things being handled? And sometimes
that rest can incorporate resting your mind, not just your body,
but your mind as well. It could be something as
small as journaling, have a quiet moment to yourself, listen
to your ratchet music or spa music whatever whatever you
godspel music, whatever music can choose. But this makes that's
(04:49):
the first thing that comes bund when I think about
self care is rest.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
You know, I think for me, I think of self care.
I think of I say I said love, Why love?
I think because you you have to love yourself, you.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Know, like for me self love self love like self
love is definitely where is that self care?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Because who don't care about you besides you?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And if you don't love yourself, who will love you?
You can't expect me to love you. Hear love yourself right,
I feel you. I was looking at.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It, so when did you first real life?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Self care has been a deep, deep importance to you
better than you know.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Bubble bath and vacation.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Let me get mussel together because hold on the more
I realized how important self care was when I was
going through my divorce, Let's just be real. Because I
realized after being a mom for so long, a wife
for so long, and wear those hats and putting me
before my health to where my doctor was saying, you
(06:01):
have ulcers you have you're losing hair, You're losing skin,
your teeth is hurt, and all that stuff going on.
It was stress induced. That was my bottom and my
valley experience to realize how important self care is. So
now my self care is getting my nails done, going
for a walk at the gym, around the neighborhood, making
sure I have moments throughout the date, and anfelt the
week that I had that self care. And when I
(06:22):
realized I don't have that self care, I started to
stress a little bit. I feel tension in my face,
in my neck. I'm looking for physical markers to say, hey,
when's less I arrested, okay, and it's just that was
the biggest thing. I realized that I was not taking
care of myself when my doctors were telling me straight up, hey,
we don't know what's going on in your life right now,
but if you don't stop whatever's happening to you and
(06:44):
take care of yourself, then you're gonna die and you're
gonna die out and look just like this because of
stress and well, they didn't realize that I was going
through a divorce, but they didn't realize this. I have
a chronic illness for over twenty eight years, well almost
twenty eight years now. I have chrome disease that requires
me the case and also self care. But all of that, again,
to be a wife and mother, I put everything on
the back burner. I didn't know how to balance time
(07:06):
for me and time as a mom and other titles
that I have in my life. I don't know how
to do that. So through that experience, I've learned if
I don't take care of myself and even more reason like,
I felt that burnout feeling like throughout the summer because
I have one kid doing football, I have so many
things going on a different level with my business, you know,
(07:27):
the entrepreneur mode, getting that mode sometimes and not know
how to off all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Excuse me. Yeah, it's like I feel again. And also
with my health trying to balance out you know, new
medications and these tests they want to do and it's
just a lot. But I have to make sure and
make a priority consciously or it's going to be on
the back burner again. And I can't go through that again.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I think with me, will self care is? I think
because you know.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
You know me, I'm always on boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Like even my friends, my family and my spouse, they
always tell me when you're gonna relax, when you're gonna
do for you, and you know I take certain things off,
like oh no, I do nothing. The answer is no, no.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Thank you. I'm not going nowhere.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Let's say I got my who, I got my wine. Listen,
when I'm at home, I want nobody to bother me,
like my man understand, Like, yo, I don't wanna talk
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Just give me this timeframe, just too and just what's that?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Literally, just give a few minutes and don't gotta be
all day. I still love your care for you, baby,
but you're gonna give you a few minutes for myself
to realize. I have to touch base with myself and
be into myself for a few minutes because it's been
a today. Their stresses life on everybody. Everyone has their stressors.
They're different for different people. Everybody can get stressed off
with different things differently. You may want to be stressed
(08:51):
for some person, may be a trigger for somebody else,
And you gotta always get conscious of that. And if
you don't take the top for yourself, who want to
do it? You won't be checking out of the hospital.
Oh I can break, but it is too late so
that you can't read. You can't you can't retract us
certain things. You know what I'm saying. So it's you
better take that time, baby, listen.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
If you don't land, it's like, how can you functioning life?
You know, like you said, you are a mom, you're
a business owner and slash an entrepreneur. You know over here,
I'm an author, I'm a poet, I'm a brother at
and I'm in school and I have a relationship. I
don't have kids, but I have different you know our
prog what's the word. I'm looking for other things I
(09:33):
need to maintain. So how do you teach your kids
self kid?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
You know? You know football, practice, you know school.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
You know, doing different organizations, you know being being the
children being a child, you know, hav their brothers and
sister running around? You know, as a mom, like, how
do you teach your children how to self kid at
the early age?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
At dar right now?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Communicate? We can't expect our kids to communicate with us
if I really can't communicate with our kids effectively. So
a lot of times it's mommy needs a break right now.
Mommy is tired, right now, I need a few minutes.
Oh I got no, give me a few minutes, Mammy,
give me about five minutes was my timer. I did
(10:16):
a few minutes a quiet time and then you can
come on with the questions or you know, I mean sitting,
have my quiet moment and they may not know that
and bust them in the room.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh no, no.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
No, it's quiet time. Come back in about ten minutes.
That I got you. And if you don't communicate with
our kids, know that it's appropriate to ask for It's
okay to ask for and communicate that with our children.
How do you gonna know how to do it? And
I'm not screaming, I'm not hollering. I'm talking, Hey, it's
quiet time. So my kids are much younger, I would say,
(10:50):
oh it's quiet time, but it's like outside, it's time
to go on your bed for some rest for a
little while. The mommy look outside like this, Bobby, I
guess because sometimes you know when you when you for
your fuse being let them both ends, and you would
have blown out on your kids. And you don't want
(11:10):
to show them that part of you because your childhood
or through other experiences that maybe tread it for you.
You don't want to be You call your kids a
B C, A to Z. You want you your nose
and your ears and they know it's you. Better tell
them kids, go to be. It's quite a time of
(11:31):
fifteen minutes. Y'all been arguing all day. I suggest y'all
go to your rooms.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
So like that, So having kids, you know self kids
also you know called boundaries. You know because because a
lot of people again I always speak this a lot,
I spent us on you know, the wrong broadcast, you know,
just a black canvas and I had just to do bodcasts.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
You know, boundaries is always support it. You know, boundary
is always you know that self love, boundary is always
you know that self care. So how do you you know,
how can I say, how do you handle boundaries with
you know, a family member, friends, you know at work
(12:18):
have to learn that if they really would care, they
would reach out. I can't always reach out to different
people because sometimes my mind may ever forget or I'm
like I need some time to myself. Most of the
summer I didn't really reach out a lot of people
the summertime. This myth. This summer was like I didn't
do a lot of vacations with my kids running around
my kids. We would be the beach a few times.
That was it. My goal this summer was to rest
(12:39):
and heal because I had a lot of medical things
going on as well. And then when I could ould
balance to work at the work you know, workload in
there as well. But the biggest thing with boundaries is
I'm gonna do what I can when I can. I
can't do for everybody, and if I can't, I'm gonna
tell you no. And I don't have to explain what
my no is and why I'm saying no. I can
say disrespectfully no, thank you and going about my business.
(12:59):
You're not gonna add more to my play because your
play is full of you. On the no then, like
I said, just as nice as I did, I don't
think the attitude nasty with you. But no, it's my
no and my boundaries, my boundary. I want to explain
that to you. And I've learned that just ru the
past a year or two. If I said no, no,
those kids will say, well why, but why? Sometimes you
(13:19):
can always answer why because I said so, And in
the moment when I have more time on my hand
to explain that to you, out of that moment, whatever
that necessary moment is, I could break it down for you.
But in this moment, the answer is no, and that's it,
and that's what friends, children, whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I think a lot of people don't understand the word
no because it's definitely oh.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
They oh, they want oh, listen, they want an explanation
after no. And I think for me, I have learned
even with this year, I have not been out.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would say I've been outside for certain things, right, I.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Haven't like when people book me for certain things, I'm like,
what if I'm gaining off of this, you know right,
I'm like, no, you just when use me because I
mean no the answers, no, why you can't do this
or why you can't I.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Don't have to give you that answer.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
I'm not able to at this time. I pray you
I wol to feel that spot that you need me
to feel, have a blessed day exactly like it rubbed
me the wrong way, and it rubs some of my
friends refrashing like they want to answer right then me
as an individual person.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I don't have to. I'm not obligated to give you
that answer.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
That part, that part, I'm not obliging to tell you anything.
Noah's no. I apologize you feel some kind of way
you want to show up to the event or do
ABC X y Z, but it's not can I I'm
not able to do that now. I'm sorry I disappointed you,
but I cannot be there for everybody that can't be
there for myself. And sometimes, like I hate to say
no to people. I've always wanted to try to go
(14:58):
and go to everybody's events to support everybody, but sometimes
God shows me I need to slow my happy self
down and just be still Peace, Be Still solves forty
six and one, and it says be still so many
times in the Bible, But how many times we have
to actually operate and that be still more, be still
and listen, be still, and no no what know who
you are? Know to how I say no?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
So my next question is for you, how have you
ever felt guilty for putting yourself first?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
And how how did you handle it?
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Yes? Again, Like, the biggest issue I had with like
self care and boundaries was when I was going through
my divorce, and a lot of times that was I
realized I had to say no more often, and a
lot of times I felt guilty because I'm like, I
couldn't be there for everybody to do this. I don't
feel like I just I was not in the mental
capacity to go on in people's faces ki ha ha
(15:55):
if how I was going through Even then, I was
going through real private so I'm not going to block
what I'm going through In the streets. Some people were
trying to say, well, what's going on with you? Nothing,
I can't know. But that really hurt me, And it
kind of bothered me because I hated showing two people out.
But for my mental health, talk about things that are
traumatic for you and to you, over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and
(16:18):
over and over again. It's not healthy. Mental health professionals
said that all the time. You know what I'm saying.
So that was like the hardest part of was saying no.
And even when kids were much younger, they wanted to go,
excuse me, this party, that party, this event, that event.
Sometime I couldn't just do it. I had to tell
them no, they're crying boom and Mamma loves you. I'm
gonna say your mama, I still love you. You could
(16:39):
be upset, you could have your emotion, but I have
to say no at the time. And it's just eventually
you getting more used to it. I have more, so
eventually you start getting good at it. No no, just
like that.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I think for me growing up, I think I didn't
had another It wasn't a lot of noes for me.
I think it was a lot of I can see
what I can do, I can see what I can.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Do, and eventually, you know, you tell that yild not
to get your hopes up, but not to get your
hopes It's like it's mid level and you know I
learned that.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know, a lot of people are.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Scared to tell me you know why I was little
because like it hurt my feelings. But now you tell
me no, cool, Cool because I respect that. I respect
your boundaries, right, and I respect you as a person
being outfront with me. Hey, I'm sorry I can't do this. Hey,
I'm sorry I can't come because back then, for me,
I always expect a lot of people be like why
(17:43):
did not come in? I always been like down, like right, I.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Expect so much people to do certain things, but reality
kicked them.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Like sometimes they can't do what you they can't do right,
and sometimes they can't show up how you want them
to show up.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
That's right. Sometimes they have to show up for they
want self They don't even know how to do that exactly.
So people really do not and you can tell about
their self care. You ain't brush your teeth, brush your hair,
get your hair washed, and wash your tail and how long.
And one thing I'll be saying, one of my little
quotes I'll be saying is especially TikTok a little a
little social media pages. If y'all follow, I say, I'm
(18:24):
gonna mind my business, brush my teeth with my deorder
and drink my water. I got to worry about worry
about you too, no ma'am, no sir.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Oday. So let's let's switch a little bit, switch more
about it. You know, you say you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
You know, let's talk about your business, you know, real quick,
you know, let's let's talk about you know, health assurance.
You know why it's important to have health assurance because
pretty much self care and self love is always have
to do with that will come down to you know,
family members and have a certain thing happen, be having
the honest conversation with them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So let's talk about it for minutes. Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Well, for me, I specialize in medicare more for health
insurance for seniors who around sixty five or have a
disability and how are able to get medicare right, So
it's basically the same thing for you people who are younger.
If you care about your sple, love yourself, go on
a doctor in a regular basis. Don't be fearful of
the doctors. I know some of you have trauma when
it comes to doctors. But if you do basic maintenance
(19:26):
that helps curb a lot of things to go with
your body. If you know there's something hereditary in your family, diabetes,
high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, it would be wise
to use wisdom to get these things checked out regularly
so you can have preventative measures in place. If you
brush your teeth, I may joke about it, but if
you honestly, my great great brother, a great great excuse me.
(19:47):
You used to say, take care of your teeth, your eyes,
your ears, and your feet. With eyes, you gotta be
able to see. You can't a good prescription. I didn't
even know one. Now if you have a good prescription,
excuse me, gariality, but you can't see right if you
get take care of your teeth, But how you teeth
in your mouth? And also a lot of bacteria, a
lot of heart infections, and blood can come out of
(20:10):
sores and less in your mouth. You got taking care
of your hearing? How you gonna hear what going on?
If you can't, you can't, you can't, you know what
I'm saying. I got that situated. Also, when it comes
down to taking care of your feet. How many people
with diabetes are told to be extra cautious of what's
going on with their feet? A lot right, a lot
right now that I deal with with seniors, especially those
who are African Americans, deal with heart issues, deal with
(20:33):
UH diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular issues. Hey Tavoyd rice
Zevi anyway, anyway, but that's the biggest thing that I'm
dealing with. And not just call you know, our elderly
black you know, our elders of the family, but also
with Caucasian individuals. They deal more with mental health issues.
(20:58):
Sometimes not say every white person or every Black person
just with these things, but I see prevalent in a home.
Another big thing I see with seniors is loneliness. Y'all.
Self care isn't about abandoning granny and grandpa. Now I
understand generational trauma, etc. But sometimes all they want is
you to pop up real quick and say hello, I
(21:18):
don't look like half my clients. I make sure you
on my mind. If God puts you on my heart
in my mind, I want to pop up and right now,
loneliness is one of the biggest killers of singers. Right now,
they're neglected themselves. They don't care they and God bless
us who have cats and puppies as they feel like
some reason to live forward you know what I'm saying.
But any preventative of anything, as far as your health
(21:40):
is important. I don't care what age you are. If
you've an issue, get taken care of. It's what like
you see on TV and what's on popular right now,
pipple pop and all those stuff they got leisures and cancers,
bulbous things all across save body from top to bottom
and not get things taken care of. I had this
lamp on my back for seven years. I had this
lump on my hip. You got it for seven and
(22:01):
twenty seven years. And I think Jayla and dangling baby
Baby couldn't have been me. Is this a what of me?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is this a I'm going to the doctor see by
a lot of people scared?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I think a lot of people are scared of the results.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
That and it has to be what it is, the fear.
But if you get you know one, it's minute, but
to make its bigger with it, it really is cancer.
And that thing's put across your whole day one body
and been ten twenty years now. Baby, it's too late.
But they called it when it's permittive, when it was small,
when you first got that thing checked out you know
what I'm saying, like cool now a lot of it.
I got to be fair, baby, it gotta be.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Me who I'm a Listen, I am a true believer
man and going to the doctor. I am a true believer.
I'm telling you this wasn't here. I'm telling you I
am truth. Listen.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
If anybody have through my social media back in the day,
you have seen, if you have seen my teeth and
hor about I took the first.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I took the first that it gotta fix a lot.
Like a lot of people are just scared to take
that first step.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
I'm telling you, yeah, he did. Fear. I've bet whate
guy he was fifty eight years old. Should holler at me, baby.
That's a whole other conversation. But one thing about it.
He had trauma from his teenage ys or get his
teeth done. This man teeth was rotten in his mouth
and he talking about he's scared to go to he
wanna get a whole new sit of teeth. But you
know how much a whole of the teeth costs for
(23:36):
what I'm got a hold on one side of my mouth.
That thing cost five thousand dollars for one tooth. Imagine
the whole cit of thirty two.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Okay, and that's not including you have insurance.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
That's gonna include pain. That's not including the injections. Put
you to sleep every two beating the place and pulled
out and put back together. Everybody.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Maybe you need how gode like I'm telling you because
I just don't understand you sit here. I understand you
know health health. You know you don't have a health
assurance and stuff like that. But baby, you go to
the hospital, they have to check you out, they have
to doctor office. It's a different right, different right. But
(24:18):
there's even free health clics out right now. You have
to do your research and do your homework. But there's
free health clinics and get help you out right now
for for either for absolutely free or for a minuscule
minute price. And here in the Low Country there's a
clinic and Summerville that will meet on a regular basis
at a local church. I think call Hell and Hands
Ministry if I'm not mistaken. They'll meet on a regular
basis and do basic over check of your body. They
(24:40):
have free dental clinics there as well. If you guys
want to get pulled, get the tooth pulled, make sure
is the right one, but get the tool palled.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Questions.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
But it's it's very important, man, it's very important. I
don't know because the game fear A fear is mentally
my people don't like yo. If you know you have
the fear because I get I hear these stories. I
definitely hear these stories.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
You know doctors do take advantage of patients when they
at a low point, but that's not every doctor.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
That's right doctor.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And then do you have do your research if you
think your doctor is a scle wack and you have
insurance or not, find one that you trust. Find irreputable
doctor that you like and you trust. If you won't
want to look like you, I don't care what your
color you have. If I want to look like you,
if you don't want to like you, if you want
a female, if you want to male. Doctor, you repar
what your issue is, request what you would like. But
make sure you get out of that fear and can
(25:38):
so check because God forbad something happening. You have children
depend on you, a spouse depending on you, family depending
on you, and you being self. Oh I got time,
I got time, I got to work these hours I
want to put that check in with it. That's I mean,
it is what it is, you know what I'm saying.
And some people are so fearful, whether they got chest
pains or side pains or something they think made going
on because they're so fearful. But at the same time,
(25:59):
you have the use that fear to scare you to
get right. You know what I'm saying. If you know
you gotta lose some weight and the beanies and weenies
and eat them fat back and put back and the
fat ryns and then I ask you for dinner. Did
you need to start doing that? But the see and
the thing is honesty, honesty, right, you know you you
want to lose, and I'm on this weight loss journey.
(26:20):
I'm telling you I was lost fifteen Listen, I was big,
but your boy and your boy looking color.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But like you have to be honest with yourself, like
you have to be honest with yourself.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Like I said, if you look at my social media
way back in my college year, this was not like
this telling you until I've been realistic and be like, yo,
my tea look messed up.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I want to say the other word, but my tee.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Look messed up, especially nobody would date no personally when
I messed out, like it's not self care like you
not taking care of yourself? Right? That tells a lot,
you know, And and shot to my doctor Trevor because
Trevor Trevor is wanted girls.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
And really he really be honest with you. It's like,
you know you're supposed to be doing that. You know
you're supposed to be doing that.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
This is right.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But shout out to travel man, like real quick. So
my next question for you, right is.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
You see let me get nervous. Let you the question.
I'm like, oh, let me look. I'll be like hold on,
I'll be like, hold up, what's the next question?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
A b cdmru. So how do you you know, self
evaluate yourself?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
You know, like I said, I do about how I feel.
So sometimes I'm feeling kind of down. Let me go
for a walk, Let me have a little ton of myself.
Let me listen to my music.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I like to listen.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I listen to a wide variety of music. If I,
like I said before, if I feel attention to my
body in certain places even now, who else I have
to bow bath? You know what I'm saying. I check
myself and sometimes even to day, like my goal is
to day just get to the gym for thirty minutes,
like after that, Michaels are already in the car. I
know how I get. So my goal to get to
the gym fut least thirty minutes, get on the triple
and go. I when and every time I said, even
(28:03):
when I say I had to trip myself say this,
just go for ten minutes, just get just get to
the door. And now the Punnet fitness up. My house
two miles away and the four miles away, so I
had no excuse. But my fad wonder how you want
to go? But I go away. So with my self care,
I know that I go. You know, I have a
busy day and I'm exhausted. I know if I go
for thirty minutes to an hour, I'm gonna feel so
(28:25):
much better, and I'm gonna sleep real good because versus sleeping,
you'll work out in the morning. You would help pep
your day up. But at night. I've learned with me,
do not work out at night, even thirty minutes, ten minutes, whatever,
even an hour or two. If I get caught up,
I say for hours to the kids home. They save
they good with my grandparents. You know they're good. But
if I get a gym at night, I see so
much better at night. And sometimes I know my self
(28:45):
cares also need to be more more work or receive
more work. When I can't get sleep at night. What's
on my mind? What's what's going on? You know what
I'm saying. I had to check myself. So it's like,
you know, I I've listened to my body. My body's
hurting certain areas, bowl baths, walk music. You know, there's
different things I do. So now get my nails done today.
I do different things for me to distress. I think now,
(29:10):
I think for a lot of my people who are listening,
who's watching? So I have a like a one on
one conversation with God, Like that's very well we if
we like we here like this, he's my homie, Like
that's definitely where I definitely feel like I can always
(29:30):
talk to somebody who doesn't judge me, even though he listened.
I might not want the you know, the the end
results what I want, but you know, God knows what's
best for me, and God knows what's best for anybody
who believes in God. Anybody who believes what.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
They believe in. But that's the part of myself care.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
So my last question is for you, miss ma'am, like,
what advice can you give somebody on you know, self
care and self love or anything on this spressdel.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
The biggest thing I would I would hit home after
our discussion on today is love yourself first, treat yourself
well and find things. It does have to be money related,
but find things. Three fourth, things that you enjoy doing
that helps relax you. I don't care if it's blowing bubbles,
call on the coloring book, going for a walk, journaling,
(30:28):
meditation on God's word, or outside in the peace peaceful
nature if you like peaceful nature. So that's my biggest
thing with Find something that you like to do at
least two to three things, and it's seek to do
those things a regular basis to lower your stress levels
and take care and love on you. Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And how can people find you on social media?
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Facebook, TikTok business, okay, well on TikTok Shelly, wellye pooh
coming at you and I'm playing So what do you
put on TikTok? Now? TikTok is my think to relax?
I cut over on TikTok. I'm cooking, I'm talking, I'm
going live, I'm enjoying life. I'm having something about crozy.
I talk about life, chronic illnesses, I talk about cooking.
(31:11):
The relationships. Everything is on social media. On there, Facebook
about professional or professional. I do little goofy stuff on
that more professional Michelle Raking on Facebook on TikTok chili
with you pooh. I'm also other forums with the other
two main ones I use for right now and also
on Insta and somehow there. As much as I am
my TikTok, I cut up, so if you want to
cut I'm gonna get a good laugh.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I say, man, thank you, man, I appreciate it. I
appreciate it. Thank you sitting down with me.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
You know you are definitely my girl, You are definitely
my friend. You are definitely wanting to have this real
conversation with men. It's a lot of conversation that a
lot of real people can't.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
Have, right, And I'm real with it. I always I'm
gonna stay real, oh way, something to blunt some situation.
I'm always a kill now. I'm always gonna be real.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Well, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
It's your boy, mister Zachary William and walk to the
Royal mic and I hope, I hope you have a
great night man suiting me next time see your letter,
M M M
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I
Legs and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The
show starts in turn right seven, sh Hi, shoot one cool.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Hey you guys. I know, I know, I know y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Miss me, y'all, miss me, I miss me, I miss
y'all too. Man, Welcome to your royal Mike Broadcast. Is
your boy, your truly mister boy, Missus Zachary Win aka
Missus zach Attack Dose.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
W know it. Man.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
It's good to be.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Here again with you guys man today today, Today has.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Been a long day, but we are here. Ready. I
am ready to talk to y'all. So today I have
a special special guest. She is joining me. She's my sister,
she is my.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Sorrow, Zeta Phi Beta. That's welcome, Michelle. Come on, Michelle,
let's get only here.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Hello, Hello, z five gar.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
How are you doing today?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Who? It's been a monday? This Monday has been monday
in Okay. You see see a dog outside trying to
make everybody listening to mama, you know, just handling business
out of contact vendors. Today I've been doing the thing saying,
but a chicken wing.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So my first question for you before we dive right,
and you know My lessoner is my you know, my
lucker is my audience. Want to tell us about yourself,
those who don't know you.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Well, First of all, as you already mentioned, I'm a
member of the most fabulous d not organization that has
ever been created. They took I make the sorority incorporated. Okay,
that's first and foremost. Okay. Second of all, I am
a mom, I am a child of God visionary, I'm
an entrepreneur. I'm an insurance agent. Okay. In my insurance
(03:04):
company is called Cornerstone Wealth Advisory and Insurance Services, since
with life insurance, Medicare first timers and those already on Medicare,
and also with investments. And I'm a single mama of
four beautiful children, two boys and two girls and three teenagers. Anyway,
(03:26):
but yes, the applications, well, I just want to say
thank you for taking the time out of your schedule
and coming on my broadcast around problem as everybody be
theirself and we talking about real conversations. So today we
are going to talk about you know, self care, self love.
(03:49):
You know, I want Tom off with an icebreaker for you,
right all right? So okay, so ready.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So when people hear about the phases of self care.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
You know, they all would think about, you know, a
spa day, but when you hear it, when it comes
to your mind at first self care, the first thing
about is rest, because my thing is rest isn't always
laying down prostrates, which is laying flat feet propped up
with the pillows and your little cucumber sizes in your eyes.
It's rested to make sure.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Are things getting done? Are things being handled? And sometimes
that rest can incorporate resting your mind, not just your body,
but your mind as well. It could be something as
small as journaling, have a quiet moment to yourself, listen
to your ratchet music or spa music whatever whatever you
godspel music, whatever music can choose. But this makes that's
(04:49):
the first thing that comes bund when I think about
self care is rest.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
You know, I think for me, I think of self care.
I think of I say I said love, Why love?
I think because you you have to love yourself, you.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Know, like for me self love self love like self
love is definitely where is that self care?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Because who don't care about you besides you?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And if you don't love yourself, who will love you?
You can't expect me to love you. Hear love yourself right,
I feel you. I was looking at.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It, so when did you first real life?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Self care has been a deep, deep importance to you
better than you know.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Bubble bath and vacation.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Let me get mussel together because hold on the more
I realized how important self care was when I was
going through my divorce, Let's just be real. Because I
realized after being a mom for so long, a wife
for so long, and wear those hats and putting me
before my health to where my doctor was saying, you
(06:01):
have ulcers you have you're losing hair, You're losing skin,
your teeth is hurt, and all that stuff going on.
It was stress induced. That was my bottom and my
valley experience to realize how important self care is. So
now my self care is getting my nails done, going
for a walk at the gym, around the neighborhood, making
sure I have moments throughout the date, and anfelt the
week that I had that self care. And when I
(06:22):
realized I don't have that self care, I started to
stress a little bit. I feel tension in my face,
in my neck. I'm looking for physical markers to say, hey,
when's less I arrested, okay, and it's just that was
the biggest thing. I realized that I was not taking
care of myself when my doctors were telling me straight up, hey,
we don't know what's going on in your life right now,
but if you don't stop whatever's happening to you and
(06:44):
take care of yourself, then you're gonna die and you're
gonna die out and look just like this because of
stress and well, they didn't realize that I was going
through a divorce, but they didn't realize this. I have
a chronic illness for over twenty eight years, well almost
twenty eight years now. I have chrome disease that requires
me the case and also self care. But all of that, again,
to be a wife and mother, I put everything on
the back burner. I didn't know how to balance time
(07:06):
for me and time as a mom and other titles
that I have in my life. I don't know how
to do that. So through that experience, I've learned if
I don't take care of myself and even more reason like,
I felt that burnout feeling like throughout the summer because
I have one kid doing football, I have so many
things going on a different level with my business, you know,
(07:27):
the entrepreneur mode, getting that mode sometimes and not know
how to off all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Excuse me. Yeah, it's like I feel again. And also
with my health trying to balance out you know, new
medications and these tests they want to do and it's
just a lot. But I have to make sure and
make a priority consciously or it's going to be on
the back burner again. And I can't go through that again.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I think with me, will self care is? I think
because you know.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
You know me, I'm always on boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Like even my friends, my family and my spouse, they
always tell me when you're gonna relax, when you're gonna
do for you, and you know I take certain things off,
like oh no, I do nothing. The answer is no, no.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Thank you. I'm not going nowhere.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Let's say I got my who, I got my wine. Listen,
when I'm at home, I want nobody to bother me,
like my man understand, Like, yo, I don't wanna talk
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Just give me this timeframe, just too and just what's that?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Literally, just give a few minutes and don't gotta be
all day. I still love your care for you, baby,
but you're gonna give you a few minutes for myself
to realize. I have to touch base with myself and
be into myself for a few minutes because it's been
a today. Their stresses life on everybody. Everyone has their stressors.
They're different for different people. Everybody can get stressed off
with different things differently. You may want to be stressed
(08:51):
for some person, may be a trigger for somebody else,
And you gotta always get conscious of that. And if
you don't take the top for yourself, who want to
do it? You won't be checking out of the hospital.
Oh I can break, but it is too late so
that you can't read. You can't you can't retract us
certain things. You know what I'm saying. So it's you
better take that time, baby, listen.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
If you don't land, it's like, how can you functioning life?
You know, like you said, you are a mom, you're
a business owner and slash an entrepreneur. You know over here,
I'm an author, I'm a poet, I'm a brother at
and I'm in school and I have a relationship. I
don't have kids, but I have different you know our
prog what's the word. I'm looking for other things I
(09:33):
need to maintain. So how do you teach your kids
self kid?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
You know? You know football, practice, you know school.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
You know, doing different organizations, you know being being the
children being a child, you know, hav their brothers and
sister running around? You know, as a mom, like, how
do you teach your children how to self kid at
the early age?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
At dar right now?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Communicate? We can't expect our kids to communicate with us
if I really can't communicate with our kids effectively. So
a lot of times it's mommy needs a break right now.
Mommy is tired, right now, I need a few minutes.
Oh I got no, give me a few minutes, Mammy,
give me about five minutes was my timer. I did
(10:16):
a few minutes a quiet time and then you can
come on with the questions or you know, I mean sitting,
have my quiet moment and they may not know that
and bust them in the room.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh no, no.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
No, it's quiet time. Come back in about ten minutes.
That I got you. And if you don't communicate with
our kids, know that it's appropriate to ask for It's
okay to ask for and communicate that with our children.
How do you gonna know how to do it? And
I'm not screaming, I'm not hollering. I'm talking, Hey, it's
quiet time. So my kids are much younger, I would say,
(10:50):
oh it's quiet time, but it's like outside, it's time
to go on your bed for some rest for a
little while. The mommy look outside like this, Bobby, I
guess because sometimes you know when you when you for
your fuse being let them both ends, and you would
have blown out on your kids. And you don't want
(11:10):
to show them that part of you because your childhood
or through other experiences that maybe tread it for you.
You don't want to be You call your kids a
B C, A to Z. You want you your nose
and your ears and they know it's you. Better tell
them kids, go to be. It's quite a time of
(11:31):
fifteen minutes. Y'all been arguing all day. I suggest y'all
go to your rooms.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
So like that, So having kids, you know self kids
also you know called boundaries. You know because because a
lot of people again I always speak this a lot,
I spent us on you know, the wrong broadcast, you know,
just a black canvas and I had just to do bodcasts.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
You know, boundaries is always support it. You know, boundary
is always you know that self love, boundary is always
you know that self care. So how do you you know,
how can I say, how do you handle boundaries with
you know, a family member, friends, you know at work
(12:18):
have to learn that if they really would care, they
would reach out. I can't always reach out to different
people because sometimes my mind may ever forget or I'm
like I need some time to myself. Most of the
summer I didn't really reach out a lot of people
the summertime. This myth. This summer was like I didn't
do a lot of vacations with my kids running around
my kids. We would be the beach a few times.
That was it. My goal this summer was to rest
(12:39):
and heal because I had a lot of medical things
going on as well. And then when I could ould
balance to work at the work you know, workload in
there as well. But the biggest thing with boundaries is
I'm gonna do what I can when I can. I
can't do for everybody, and if I can't, I'm gonna
tell you no. And I don't have to explain what
my no is and why I'm saying no. I can
say disrespectfully no, thank you and going about my business.
(12:59):
You're not gonna add more to my play because your
play is full of you. On the no then, like
I said, just as nice as I did, I don't
think the attitude nasty with you. But no, it's my
no and my boundaries, my boundary. I want to explain
that to you. And I've learned that just ru the
past a year or two. If I said no, no,
those kids will say, well why, but why? Sometimes you
(13:19):
can always answer why because I said so, And in
the moment when I have more time on my hand
to explain that to you, out of that moment, whatever
that necessary moment is, I could break it down for you.
But in this moment, the answer is no, and that's it,
and that's what friends, children, whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I think a lot of people don't understand the word
no because it's definitely oh.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
They oh, they want oh, listen, they want an explanation
after no. And I think for me, I have learned
even with this year, I have not been out.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would say I've been outside for certain things, right, I.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Haven't like when people book me for certain things, I'm like,
what if I'm gaining off of this, you know right,
I'm like, no, you just when use me because I
mean no the answers, no, why you can't do this
or why you can't I.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Don't have to give you that answer.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
I'm not able to at this time. I pray you
I wol to feel that spot that you need me
to feel, have a blessed day exactly like it rubbed
me the wrong way, and it rubs some of my
friends refrashing like they want to answer right then me
as an individual person.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I don't have to. I'm not obligated to give you
that answer.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
That part, that part, I'm not obliging to tell you anything.
Noah's no. I apologize you feel some kind of way
you want to show up to the event or do
ABC X y Z, but it's not can I I'm
not able to do that now. I'm sorry I disappointed you,
but I cannot be there for everybody that can't be
there for myself. And sometimes, like I hate to say
no to people. I've always wanted to try to go
(14:58):
and go to everybody's events to support everybody, but sometimes
God shows me I need to slow my happy self
down and just be still Peace, Be Still solves forty
six and one, and it says be still so many
times in the Bible, But how many times we have
to actually operate and that be still more, be still
and listen, be still, and no no what know who
you are? Know to how I say no?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
So my next question is for you, how have you
ever felt guilty for putting yourself first?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
And how how did you handle it?
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Yes? Again, Like, the biggest issue I had with like
self care and boundaries was when I was going through
my divorce, and a lot of times that was I
realized I had to say no more often, and a
lot of times I felt guilty because I'm like, I
couldn't be there for everybody to do this. I don't
feel like I just I was not in the mental
capacity to go on in people's faces ki ha ha
(15:55):
if how I was going through Even then, I was
going through real private so I'm not going to block
what I'm going through In the streets. Some people were
trying to say, well, what's going on with you? Nothing,
I can't know. But that really hurt me, And it
kind of bothered me because I hated showing two people out.
But for my mental health, talk about things that are
traumatic for you and to you, over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and
(16:18):
over and over again. It's not healthy. Mental health professionals
said that all the time. You know what I'm saying.
So that was like the hardest part of was saying no.
And even when kids were much younger, they wanted to go,
excuse me, this party, that party, this event, that event.
Sometime I couldn't just do it. I had to tell
them no, they're crying boom and Mamma loves you. I'm
gonna say your mama, I still love you. You could
(16:39):
be upset, you could have your emotion, but I have
to say no at the time. And it's just eventually
you getting more used to it. I have more, so
eventually you start getting good at it. No no, just
like that.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I think for me growing up, I think I didn't
had another It wasn't a lot of noes for me.
I think it was a lot of I can see
what I can do, I can see what I can.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Do, and eventually, you know, you tell that yild not
to get your hopes up, but not to get your
hopes It's like it's mid level and you know I
learned that.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know, a lot of people are.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Scared to tell me you know why I was little
because like it hurt my feelings. But now you tell
me no, cool, Cool because I respect that. I respect
your boundaries, right, and I respect you as a person
being outfront with me. Hey, I'm sorry I can't do this. Hey,
I'm sorry I can't come because back then, for me,
I always expect a lot of people be like why
(17:43):
did not come in? I always been like down, like right, I.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Expect so much people to do certain things, but reality
kicked them.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Like sometimes they can't do what you they can't do right,
and sometimes they can't show up how you want them
to show up.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
That's right. Sometimes they have to show up for they
want self They don't even know how to do that exactly.
So people really do not and you can tell about
their self care. You ain't brush your teeth, brush your hair,
get your hair washed, and wash your tail and how long.
And one thing I'll be saying, one of my little
quotes I'll be saying is especially TikTok a little a
little social media pages. If y'all follow, I say, I'm
(18:24):
gonna mind my business, brush my teeth with my deorder
and drink my water. I got to worry about worry
about you too, no ma'am, no sir.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Oday. So let's let's switch a little bit, switch more
about it. You know, you say you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
You know, let's talk about your business, you know, real quick,
you know, let's let's talk about you know, health assurance.
You know why it's important to have health assurance because
pretty much self care and self love is always have
to do with that will come down to you know,
family members and have a certain thing happen, be having
the honest conversation with them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So let's talk about it for minutes. Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Well, for me, I specialize in medicare more for health
insurance for seniors who around sixty five or have a
disability and how are able to get medicare right, So
it's basically the same thing for you people who are younger.
If you care about your sple, love yourself, go on
a doctor in a regular basis. Don't be fearful of
the doctors. I know some of you have trauma when
it comes to doctors. But if you do basic maintenance
(19:26):
that helps curb a lot of things to go with
your body. If you know there's something hereditary in your family, diabetes,
high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, it would be wise
to use wisdom to get these things checked out regularly
so you can have preventative measures in place. If you
brush your teeth, I may joke about it, but if
you honestly, my great great brother, a great great excuse me.
(19:47):
You used to say, take care of your teeth, your eyes,
your ears, and your feet. With eyes, you gotta be
able to see. You can't a good prescription. I didn't
even know one. Now if you have a good prescription,
excuse me, gariality, but you can't see right if you
get take care of your teeth, But how you teeth
in your mouth? And also a lot of bacteria, a
lot of heart infections, and blood can come out of
(20:10):
sores and less in your mouth. You got taking care
of your hearing? How you gonna hear what going on?
If you can't, you can't, you can't, you know what
I'm saying. I got that situated. Also, when it comes
down to taking care of your feet. How many people
with diabetes are told to be extra cautious of what's
going on with their feet? A lot right, a lot
right now that I deal with with seniors, especially those
who are African Americans, deal with heart issues, deal with
(20:33):
UH diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular issues. Hey Tavoyd rice
Zevi anyway, anyway, but that's the biggest thing that I'm
dealing with. And not just call you know, our elderly
black you know, our elders of the family, but also
with Caucasian individuals. They deal more with mental health issues.
(20:58):
Sometimes not say every white person or every Black person
just with these things, but I see prevalent in a home.
Another big thing I see with seniors is loneliness. Y'all.
Self care isn't about abandoning granny and grandpa. Now I
understand generational trauma, etc. But sometimes all they want is
you to pop up real quick and say hello, I
(21:18):
don't look like half my clients. I make sure you
on my mind. If God puts you on my heart
in my mind, I want to pop up and right now,
loneliness is one of the biggest killers of singers. Right now,
they're neglected themselves. They don't care they and God bless
us who have cats and puppies as they feel like
some reason to live forward you know what I'm saying.
But any preventative of anything, as far as your health
(21:40):
is important. I don't care what age you are. If
you've an issue, get taken care of. It's what like
you see on TV and what's on popular right now,
pipple pop and all those stuff they got leisures and cancers,
bulbous things all across save body from top to bottom
and not get things taken care of. I had this
lamp on my back for seven years. I had this
lump on my hip. You got it for seven and
(22:01):
twenty seven years. And I think Jayla and dangling baby
Baby couldn't have been me. Is this a what of me?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is this a I'm going to the doctor see by
a lot of people scared?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I think a lot of people are scared of the results.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
That and it has to be what it is, the fear.
But if you get you know one, it's minute, but
to make its bigger with it, it really is cancer.
And that thing's put across your whole day one body
and been ten twenty years now. Baby, it's too late.
But they called it when it's permittive, when it was small,
when you first got that thing checked out you know
what I'm saying, like cool now a lot of it.
I got to be fair, baby, it gotta be.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Me who I'm a Listen, I am a true believer
man and going to the doctor. I am a true believer.
I'm telling you this wasn't here. I'm telling you I
am truth. Listen.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
If anybody have through my social media back in the day,
you have seen, if you have seen my teeth and
hor about I took the first.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I took the first that it gotta fix a lot.
Like a lot of people are just scared to take
that first step.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
I'm telling you, yeah, he did. Fear. I've bet whate
guy he was fifty eight years old. Should holler at me, baby.
That's a whole other conversation. But one thing about it.
He had trauma from his teenage ys or get his
teeth done. This man teeth was rotten in his mouth
and he talking about he's scared to go to he
wanna get a whole new sit of teeth. But you
know how much a whole of the teeth costs for
(23:36):
what I'm got a hold on one side of my mouth.
That thing cost five thousand dollars for one tooth. Imagine
the whole cit of thirty two.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Okay, and that's not including you have insurance.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
That's gonna include pain. That's not including the injections. Put
you to sleep every two beating the place and pulled
out and put back together. Everybody.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Maybe you need how gode like I'm telling you because
I just don't understand you sit here. I understand you
know health health. You know you don't have a health
assurance and stuff like that. But baby, you go to
the hospital, they have to check you out, they have
to doctor office. It's a different right, different right. But
(24:18):
there's even free health clics out right now. You have
to do your research and do your homework. But there's
free health clinics and get help you out right now
for for either for absolutely free or for a minuscule
minute price. And here in the Low Country there's a
clinic and Summerville that will meet on a regular basis
at a local church. I think call Hell and Hands
Ministry if I'm not mistaken. They'll meet on a regular
basis and do basic over check of your body. They
(24:40):
have free dental clinics there as well. If you guys
want to get pulled, get the tooth pulled, make sure
is the right one, but get the tool palled.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Questions.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
But it's it's very important, man, it's very important. I
don't know because the game fear A fear is mentally
my people don't like yo. If you know you have
the fear because I get I hear these stories. I
definitely hear these stories.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
You know doctors do take advantage of patients when they
at a low point, but that's not every doctor.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
That's right doctor.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And then do you have do your research if you
think your doctor is a scle wack and you have
insurance or not, find one that you trust. Find irreputable
doctor that you like and you trust. If you won't
want to look like you, I don't care what your
color you have. If I want to look like you,
if you don't want to like you, if you want
a female, if you want to male. Doctor, you repar
what your issue is, request what you would like. But
make sure you get out of that fear and can
(25:38):
so check because God forbad something happening. You have children
depend on you, a spouse depending on you, family depending
on you, and you being self. Oh I got time,
I got time, I got to work these hours I
want to put that check in with it. That's I mean,
it is what it is, you know what I'm saying.
And some people are so fearful, whether they got chest
pains or side pains or something they think made going
on because they're so fearful. But at the same time,
(25:59):
you have the use that fear to scare you to
get right. You know what I'm saying. If you know
you gotta lose some weight and the beanies and weenies
and eat them fat back and put back and the
fat ryns and then I ask you for dinner. Did
you need to start doing that? But the see and
the thing is honesty, honesty, right, you know you you
want to lose, and I'm on this weight loss journey.
(26:20):
I'm telling you I was lost fifteen Listen, I was big,
but your boy and your boy looking color.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But like you have to be honest with yourself, like
you have to be honest with yourself.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Like I said, if you look at my social media
way back in my college year, this was not like
this telling you until I've been realistic and be like, yo,
my tea look messed up.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I want to say the other word, but my tee.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Look messed up, especially nobody would date no personally when
I messed out, like it's not self care like you
not taking care of yourself? Right? That tells a lot,
you know, And and shot to my doctor Trevor because
Trevor Trevor is wanted girls.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
And really he really be honest with you. It's like,
you know you're supposed to be doing that. You know
you're supposed to be doing that.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
This is right.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But shout out to travel man, like real quick. So
my next question for you, right is.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
You see let me get nervous. Let you the question.
I'm like, oh, let me look. I'll be like hold on,
I'll be like, hold up, what's the next question?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
A b cdmru. So how do you you know, self
evaluate yourself?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
You know, like I said, I do about how I feel.
So sometimes I'm feeling kind of down. Let me go
for a walk, Let me have a little ton of myself.
Let me listen to my music.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I like to listen.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I listen to a wide variety of music. If I,
like I said before, if I feel attention to my
body in certain places even now, who else I have
to bow bath? You know what I'm saying. I check
myself and sometimes even to day, like my goal is
to day just get to the gym for thirty minutes,
like after that, Michaels are already in the car. I
know how I get. So my goal to get to
the gym fut least thirty minutes, get on the triple
and go. I when and every time I said, even
(28:03):
when I say I had to trip myself say this,
just go for ten minutes, just get just get to
the door. And now the Punnet fitness up. My house
two miles away and the four miles away, so I
had no excuse. But my fad wonder how you want
to go? But I go away. So with my self care,
I know that I go. You know, I have a
busy day and I'm exhausted. I know if I go
for thirty minutes to an hour, I'm gonna feel so
(28:25):
much better, and I'm gonna sleep real good because versus sleeping,
you'll work out in the morning. You would help pep
your day up. But at night. I've learned with me,
do not work out at night, even thirty minutes, ten minutes, whatever,
even an hour or two. If I get caught up,
I say for hours to the kids home. They save
they good with my grandparents. You know they're good. But
if I get a gym at night, I see so
much better at night. And sometimes I know my self
(28:45):
cares also need to be more more work or receive
more work. When I can't get sleep at night. What's
on my mind? What's what's going on? You know what
I'm saying. I had to check myself. So it's like,
you know, I I've listened to my body. My body's
hurting certain areas, bowl baths, walk music. You know, there's
different things I do. So now get my nails done today.
I do different things for me to distress. I think now,
(29:10):
I think for a lot of my people who are listening,
who's watching? So I have a like a one on
one conversation with God, Like that's very well we if
we like we here like this, he's my homie, Like
that's definitely where I definitely feel like I can always
(29:30):
talk to somebody who doesn't judge me, even though he listened.
I might not want the you know, the the end
results what I want, but you know, God knows what's
best for me, and God knows what's best for anybody
who believes in God. Anybody who believes what.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
They believe in. But that's the part of myself care.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
So my last question is for you, miss ma'am, like,
what advice can you give somebody on you know, self
care and self love or anything on this spressdel.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
The biggest thing I would I would hit home after
our discussion on today is love yourself first, treat yourself
well and find things. It does have to be money related,
but find things. Three fourth, things that you enjoy doing
that helps relax you. I don't care if it's blowing bubbles,
call on the coloring book, going for a walk, journaling,
(30:28):
meditation on God's word, or outside in the peace peaceful
nature if you like peaceful nature. So that's my biggest
thing with Find something that you like to do at
least two to three things, and it's seek to do
those things a regular basis to lower your stress levels
and take care and love on you. Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And how can people find you on social media?
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Facebook, TikTok business, okay, well on TikTok Shelly, wellye pooh
coming at you and I'm playing So what do you
put on TikTok? Now? TikTok is my think to relax?
I cut over on TikTok. I'm cooking, I'm talking, I'm
going live, I'm enjoying life. I'm having something about crozy.
I talk about life, chronic illnesses, I talk about cooking.
(31:11):
The relationships. Everything is on social media. On there, Facebook
about professional or professional. I do little goofy stuff on
that more professional Michelle Raking on Facebook on TikTok chili
with you pooh. I'm also other forums with the other
two main ones I use for right now and also
on Insta and somehow there. As much as I am
my TikTok, I cut up, so if you want to
cut I'm gonna get a good laugh.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I say, man, thank you, man, I appreciate it. I
appreciate it. Thank you sitting down with me.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
You know you are definitely my girl, You are definitely
my friend. You are definitely wanting to have this real
conversation with men. It's a lot of conversation that a
lot of real people can't.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
Have, right, And I'm real with it. I always I'm
gonna stay real, oh way, something to blunt some situation.
I'm always a kill now. I'm always gonna be real.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Well, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
It's your boy, mister Zachary William and walk to the
Royal mic and I hope, I hope you have a
great night man suiting me next time see your letter,
M M M
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I
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