Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga Shark Media make twelve thirty great again. I'm Johnny
Mack with your daily comedy news David Letterman, who's on
the wrong side of all the issues these days. You know,
he's supporting Seth Myers, whereas the President and I are
aligned that NBC twelve thirty could be a lot funnier.
(00:24):
Letterman also out there letting Adam Sandler believe he's the
least bit funny. You know, I don't know what to
do with this. I'm actually getting increasingly mad with Mike
from The Letterman Podcast, and I'm in his ear that
he needs to rebrand his show as The Conan Podcast
and celebrate the true greatness of twelve thirty comedy now
that Dave has just lost his way. And you know,
I don't know what Jimmy Fallon did on that show
(00:45):
and Seth forget about it. So Mike the Conan Podcast
think about it. I think you need to consider it.
David Letterman is still out there putting out work. Dave
has announced another season of My Next Guest Needs No
Introduction with David Letterman, season December sixteenth. Michael B. Jordan
is the guest and my wife has the haunts for
Michael B. Jordan, so I'm not gonna tell her that
(01:06):
episode even exists. Then I find this interesting mister Beast,
and then they tell us mister Beast's real name is
Jimmy Donaldson. I thought your guest needs no introduction. Hmmm,
which is it? David Letterman and Jason Bateman will be
the final guest of the wopping three episode season. For
some reason, the Saandler episode not part of the official season.
(01:28):
I don't know how many of this works. I don't care. Dave,
come back home, Dave, you want to press me. I
don't care about the return of Eddie Murphy. Here's what
I want Dave to do. David Letterman, I'm calling you out.
I want you to find a tower somewhere and throw
a watermelon off it. Just one watermelon. That's all I
need out of you, Just to know that my David
Letterman is still in there somewhere now. The original five
story tower has been torn down, but I'm sure we
(01:50):
can find another five story tower if you want. If
you want to come over to my house and throw
a watermelon off the house at me, I'll let you
do that as long as I can record the audio.
You know, in these trying times where some things are
getting worse, some things are getting better, Sesame Street has
found its fastball. I'm really excited about this. You know,
Sesame Street is on Netflix right now. Yeah, no more PBS.
(02:11):
It's on Netflix and they're doing a cross promotion to
promote this knives Out movie that I think it's out today.
If you've ever seen a knives Out movie. Daniel Craig
plays ben Wan Blanc. Well, he plays Benyet Blanc on
a knives Out parody on Sesame Street. Let's listen, someone
e't me tripleberry pie? Ha ah, No one touched my
(02:39):
sardine pie. This a mystery only the world's greatest detective console.
What have arrived to this street of Sesame on a
sunner day? Turn cloudy? We have a culinary culprit in
(02:59):
our mites, and to solve this confectionery conundrum, we must
look right in front of our googly eyes at cookie Monster.
Oh we're not doing that whole gasp thing. It makes sense.
Cookie Master does love silm chills. Yeah, yes, now that
was pretty good, and like most things on modern Sesame Street,
(03:22):
it got ruined Byomo. I mean that is just the
story of him. Well, President Trump, why don't you do
something about Sesame Street? You know, I don't know what
you're doing all day. Appreciate you helping to make twelve
thirty great again, and I applaud your efforts there. You
and I are not aligned on all the issues, but
you've done nothing about Patton Oswalt and Star Trek so far,
and I think you need to do something about Sesame Street.
(03:44):
Sesame Street in the seventies was wonderful, and then Elmo
came along, and you should do something about that, mister President.
I digress. Some people want Knives Out filmmaker Ryan Johnson
to make an official Muppets version, which would be epic.
This probably as close as we'll ever get. Johnson had
the Hollywood Reporters Awards Chatter podcast that respects both the
Muppet movies and Knives Out to mix them. He says
(04:06):
that now come back in twenty years when he needs
a paycheck. He says, the reality is, if you put
Muppets in a Ben wa Blanc movie, it would feel
totally wrong because they would be getting murdered. The alternative
is just to stick Ben Wy into a Muppet movie,
which admittedly would be very fun, but will kind of
break the reality of what Blanc is, which is to say,
I'd love to just do a regular awesome Muppet movie.
No no, no, no, no, no no. Look, it's a movie.
(04:29):
We can all handle it. We can all understand that
there's no reality to this thing. We can handle it.
Make this President Trump, get on that. Burt Kreischer. I
like what Burke Kreischer is doing here. He will headline
the first Full Throttle Festival during the Daytona five hundred weekend.
Have you ever been to Daytona. I got to go twice.
I got what's called a hot pass. What a hot
(04:52):
pass is is you can be on pit road during
the actual race. So I would be standing at NASCAR races.
The series had the rights to a NASCAR and I
got to go to a bunch of races as part
of the cross promotional Blue Collar Radio. I found myself
in Talladego one day with Jeff Foxworthy. But you're standing there,
and because you have a past that says the word
(05:13):
hot on it, you have all access. It's like sitting
in the dugout in the World Series. So I was
there and I was like, I appreciate this. But I
know I'm not appreciative because I was looking at all
these people in the stands and I'm like, oh, boy,
if those people who like truly appreciate you know, I'm
from Queens. I didn't grow up a NASCAR. Those people, boy,
if they could be in my spot, they would lose
their mind. Again, I thought it was really cool, and
(05:33):
I was thankful, but I was just like, boy, this
is the equivalent of me sitting in the Mets dugout
in the World Series, Not that the Mets would ever
be in the World Series, but you know, I could fantasize.
I had a great time I met this dude. I've
got a great picture. He was dressed head to toe
in Budweiser gear. I guess he was a Dale Earnhardt
junior fan, and he had a cooler. And the other
thing about Daytona an hour before the race, you're allowed
(05:55):
to sit on the track. I've got a picture of
me sitting on the track drinking a Budweiser an hour
before or the race of Daytona five hundred. So I
love the Daytona five hundred. I have digressed again. Bert
Kreischer will headline the first Full Throttle Festival during Daytona
five hundred weekend, held February fourteenth, Happy Valentine's Day, Honey
at the Ocean Center. The festival will include barbecue, beer,
and NASCAR themed attractions. This sounds awesome. Tickets start at
(06:18):
seventy five bucks. Full Throttle Festival dot com touted as
an all night party that brings together live music, stand
up comedy, beer and barbecue under one massive roof. Kraser
will be joined by Leonard Skinnard and renowned DJ producer
and former Daytona Beach area resident Diplow seven pm to one.
Am Bert Kreisher said, Race Weekend in Daytona is the
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super Bowl of speed, and for me that means going
absolutely massive. So I figured, why not partner with Nascord
build the biggest, wildest, greatest pre race party ever. We're
bringing a rock show, country show, comedy show, and the
kind of barbecue and beer that would make a pit
crew chief proud. Love it so much fun and to
wash all this down, as if this wasn't fun enough,
the Great American Beer Hall will feature an expanse of
(07:00):
craft beer program and domestic favorites with signature cocktails, available
at bars in the venue. Tickets to the Daytona five
hundred are not required to attend the festival. Sounds really cool.
Paul F. Tompkins has weight in on cake versus pie
and says cake will always be superior to pie. Yeah,
the truth hurts pie people. Cake will always be superior
to pie for one very simple reason, frosting. You all
(07:23):
forgot about the frosting. Every once in a while I
get some pathetic little pie person say something like, well,
you could put whipped cream on a pie. Whipped cream.
Don't make me laugh. You've embarrassed that both of us
with that answer. You put whipped cream up against frosting.
Love it. Here's how good frosting is when you eat
it directly out of can you feel shame must be.
It's pretty good because you're not supposed to eat it
(07:43):
that way. What are you gonna put pie filling up
against frosting? Patton Oswald, who is helping to ruin Star
Trek with his awful dug the Vulcan character, President Trump,
please get on this. Forbes asked Patent why the title
of his special Black Coffee and Ice Water does not
appear in the special and Patten said that he never
puts them in the special, and I was like, Yeah,
who does that? Nobody does that? Do people do that?
(08:05):
I hope not? Batton explain, And it's kind of the
overall mood at the title is more of the mood,
but you never hear anything with the title in it.
Batton explain. I usually generate about an hour and a
half of material every year, and I'd just done a
ton of films and TV shows, including Ruining Star Trek,
and a lot of traveling, and my life wasn't focused
on stand up for a while, maybe a little less
Dug the Vulcan and a little more stand up, just
(08:25):
saying and along with that was how hallucinatory and logical
the world has been coming around us. And as a comedian,
how do you take a step aside away from that
and go, I'm gonna go make fun of this thing
that's already kind of comedy proof in a weird way
because it's already so messed up. So there's a lot
of that feeling in this. And on top of that,
this was not a visual special, that's right, this is
an audio special on Audible. I was so much freer
to perform and just have it being the material. We're
(08:47):
doing a special. All you think of the camera angles,
the wardrobe lighting, how does it look? You have all
that in mind. It's everything but the material. But this
is just me. People are gonna hear my voice and
hear the audience and how we're both relating. Being that
stripped down and that simple for me, it was just fantastic.
Get your nominations in for Comedy Survivor. What we're going
to do in January is every week we're going to
vote one comedian off the Island. So I need your
(09:09):
nominations for who should be on Comedy Survivor. And again,
remember the point isn't who wins, it's the journey. So
give me good names so I have material to work with.
Go to Facebook Daily Comedy News podcast group and three
names in. I'll reveal on Monday who's going to be
on the Island. Comedy Gives Back as a nonprofit that
acts as the safety net of the comedy world, they've
(09:30):
announced a new annual fundraising effort, the Very Good Person
Year End Giving Campaign. Donations will address the challenges faced
by comedians, including mental health struggles, physical health, and financial
instability through various initiatives, including therapy grants, financial assistance programs,
recovery meetings, and educational workshops. The org aims to ensure
that stand ups at all stages of the career receive
(09:50):
the support they need. Zoe Friedman is the organization's executive
director and co founder. As Zoe said, people know the
Kevin Harts and the bird crisis of the world, But
for every household name, there are hundreds of working comedians
you've never heard of who are grinding it out to
bring laughter the world. Those are the comedians Comedy Gives
Back exists to support. Zoe was a guest on episode
one hundred and eighty five of the still titled Letterman
(10:13):
Podcast Again. I'm hoping Mike will rename this the Conan
Podcast and accept the greatness of twelve thirty. And you know,
sometimes I got to leave people behind. There was a
time when Rudy Giuliani was America's mayor and everybody in
New York City loved him. A couple of years went by,
things change. Giuliani started supporting Adam Sandler comedies and saying
Seth Myers was funny, and you know some other stuff.
And now people don't like Juliani as much as they did, say,
(10:34):
you know, in the early nineties when they were in
their early twenties living in New York City. I mean
times change. So Mike, please rename your podcast to the
Conan Podcast, and you know, give you some other stuff
to talk about. Comedy Gives Back has granted one million
dollars to over one thousand working comedians experiencing hardship since
twenty nineteen. Nice job there, folks. Also a nice job
by Tracy Morgan, who said he has fed over nineteen
(10:55):
thousand families. Tracy told people he has donated more than
two hundred thousand dollars to support vulnerable households through his
work with the Hacketsack Meridian Health Foundation. Tracy says, it's
fun to get the love and support, but it's better
when you give it back. That's what I want to
teach my children more than just a great education. I
want Maven and her brothers to be empathic. Tercy has
(11:15):
a great point of view. He says, at this point
in my life, spending time with my children, that's it.
I don't care about nothing else in the world. Listeners
to this program know that Marcelo Hernandez does two things. Well,
those two things are the character he does on SNL.
Every single sketch he appears, it's I mean, you can
call it Domingo, but it's all the same character. And
his Sebastian Manascalco impression. Well, now we'll see if Marcello
(11:36):
has a third thing he can do. He's going to
be in the cast of Shrek five. He's going to
play Shrek and Fiona's son, Fergus. Now, Fergus is a
Scottish name, so I assume Marcelo Hernandez is going to
break out some sort of Scottish accent, right, that would
make sense. Shrek five out June thirtieth, twenty twenty seven.
The cast includes Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Cameron Diaz
(11:57):
reprising their roles a Shrek, Donkey and Fiona. And that
is your comedy news for today. Make twelve thirty great again.
See you tomorrow.