Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga Shark Media.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Damn Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news. If you
missed a couple episodes because the holidays, I get it.
I had real episodes both Thanksgiving and yesterday, and yesterday
was particularly fun. I was a little loosey yesterday. Go
back and check that out. The SF Gate went to
see John mullaney. They're right. Comedian John m'alini returned to
San Francisco, which he once dubbed a city that isn't nice.
Mlini opened the show by reminiscing on his history with
(00:32):
San Francisco and talked about one of his recent sets
in the city. I came here briefly to do a
concerted dream Force, and then he told the tech bros
that they're imminently replaceable. Malleini added, I got paid before
the show. You can't do that. He did some local
humor the seal of San Francisco should be a guy
going back to get a jacket. Melini then admitted, I've
been doing that joke here since two thousand and seven.
That's hilarious. I guess he won't have an Amazon special
(00:54):
anytime soon. He did some material about Jeff Bezos saying,
no matter how much money you have, there's no fixing
a late. He also commented on Missus Bezos Laurence Sanchez. Yeah,
definitely no Amazon special coming. John mulaney said, it's beautiful.
How beautiful he thinks she is. M'laney not a fan
of AI, saying not complicated, all bad. Don't let the
(01:15):
robots take over? How many times did we practice? He
did some jokes about Robert F. Kennedy, saying his wife
was in Curb your enthusiasm and he cheats on her
like a dog. That joke got booed. Mulaney said, that's
the line for you. He poisons children, but his infidelity
is too far. The Gate says John may dip his
toes into dangerous topics, but mulaney is skilled enough to
(01:35):
make even the most vanilla content hilarious. And apparently the
closer is very strong. No spoilers here. Now. The President
of the United States and I we don't agree on
all the issues. Some of the issues we do agree upon,
For example, make twelve thirty greed again this next issue.
Not sure I'm aligned with the president. You see the president,
he's trying to revive the rush hour franchise. That's right.
(01:56):
The President of the United States would like there to
be rush Our. President Trump has been speaking with Larry Ellison,
that's the guy who owns Paramount about bringing back Jackie
Chan and Chris Tucker. Now, interestingly enough, Chris Tucker was
recently seen at a Kamala Harris campaign rally. At the
time of this recording, there are no plans for a
new Rush Hour film, but you never know. My question
(02:19):
is why is the President not doing anything about Star Trek.
Make Star Trek agreed again? Stop with the rush Hour,
focus on people like Patton Oswalt who speak out against you,
mister President, and then play character's name Doug the Vulcan
on Star Trek. I don't think the President is attacking
Patton Oswalt on this issue, this Star Trek, this Dug
the Vulcan issue. Quite enough. Patton Oswalt was on Stephen
(02:43):
Colbert's soon to end show, and if Stephen Colbert is
going to promote garbage like this, perhaps it is time
for the show to come to an end. Let's listen.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Star Trek Strange, New World's guest star Patton Oswald breaks
down playing a sexy vulcan Yes, let's get the sex
and that's going here on.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah, hid, Wow, that is what's uh?
Speaker 3 (03:09):
What's what's his name?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
His name is Doug.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
His name is Doug.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
It's his name is Doug is dark. His parents were
fascinated with earth culture, so they gave him an earthling name, Doug. Doug.
He is a he is an uh, he's an artist,
and he studies vulcan contras and and he is a sensualist.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
What is most you know sexy about being a vulcan
is the ears or the emotional inavailability.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
The emotional inavailability. There's a whole come here, go away
vibe coming off of Doug and also that you he is.
It is a come here, go away, here go away,
come here, go away attack by retreating.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Now, among the issues that the President and I don't
agree on is this whole Jimmy Kimmel thing. Bill Maher
called out Jimmy Kimmel's wife, this is going to go well.
I'm sure Kimmel will be like, oh yeah, I'm totally
cool with that and not fire back at all. You
may recall Missus Kimmel was on a podcast. She revealed
that before the election, she reached out to some of
her conservative family members to convince them not to vote
(04:18):
for President Trump. She told the podcaster she's lost some
relationships with some family members over their support for the
current president. Bill maher addressed the comments. Now these comments
were like a month ago. Did Bill Maher pre tape?
No shame there. Sometimes you gotta tape ahead. I understand,
Bill Maher, Mar said Jimmy Kimmel's wife and head writer
when public on this topic recently, so I feel it's
(04:39):
fair to comment respectfully in public. She says she's lost
relationships with relatives because she wrote them an email before
the election with ten reasons why they shouldn't vote for Trump. Now,
that would have been a great Letterman top ten list.
I'm gonna hit pause here. I'm tempted. I'm gonna ask
chat shept to write a harmless top ten list in
the Letterman style. Be right back, Okay, I'm back, and
(05:00):
this is pretty good. All right, I come in peace.
I'll tell you what I typed in. Here are the
instructions make a harmless nineteen eighty five style slash era
Letterman top ten list of the reasons not to vote
for Donald Trump. Keep it silly, and then I asked
it to get in one particular joke, which you'll see,
Chatchpt playing it safe, chat Chept to hold me. I
could do a purely silly, fictional nineteen eighty five Letterman
(05:21):
era comedy bit as entertainment only in italics, not real
political advice, not actual reasons to vote or not vote. Okay, relax, Chatchapt,
it's a bit. Think of this kind of as the
absurdist list. Dave would read, with Paul chuckling in the background. Yes,
that is what we're doing. Deliverate jokes that have nothing
to do with real policies, a real voting guidance. Thanks
Ai from the Home Office in Washington, DC. The top
(05:45):
ten completely fictional, totally ridiculous, clearly non political reasons not
to vote for Donald Trump. Number ten claims his official
presidential votor cade will be upgraded to twelve stretch limos
connected like a giant human centipede of catillacts. Number nine
wants the national bird replaced, will the really hand pigeon?
Number eight keeps calling the nuclear football the nuclear fanny pack.
Number seven says he won't take the oath unless there's
(06:06):
a fog machine at at least one ball the eagle
on a skateboard. Number six his proposed cabinet me a mirror,
a second mirror, and a guy named Rick who sells
stakes out of a van. Number five wants to rename
Mount Rushmore Mount Brushmore and place all the faces with
different versions of his hair. Number four says he will
accept no briefing materials unless they come in the form
of Garfield Comics. Number three thinks NATO is that thing
(06:26):
with the singing sharks on Sunday Mornings. Number two keep says,
says thing he's going to make twelve thirty great again,
and frankly the network is getting nervous in the number
one reason not to vote for Donald Trump his official
campaign theme song, You're the Inspiration, performed entirely on kazoo.
I think we might have a new bit coming up. Yeah,
(06:49):
the bit is called completely Revolve Table Levan. I don't
know if that's a bit seon. Oh I enjoyed doing
that anyway, I digress. Where were we?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, Bill Maher taking a shot at missus Kimmel, who
had her own list of ten reasons not to vote
for Trump. That's how we got into that, Okay, Bill
Moore said ten reasons. I could think of one hundred,
but I would never present it to someone as an ultimatum.
Ultimatums don't make people rethink their politics. They make them rethink.
You right a top ten list to yourself. We had
to try and imagine ten reasons why seventy seven million
(07:16):
Americans didn't want to trust you with taking power. And
I say that as someone who votes Democratic, and as
I liked to remind my very pure friends, we voted
for the same person. You're just why she lost. Jim
Gaffigan got a wax job from Variety. They asked Jim, Hey, Jim,
that's your sense if humor change over time. Jim said, oh, yeah,
it's definitely evolved. That's what's really interesting about having children.
The value of a reverence, whether you're nineteen or twenty one,
(07:38):
the excitement around reverence is so much more appealing than nuance.
You appreciate nuance later on, when I was in college,
I worked as a doorman at a comedy club, and
I remember thinking, Oh, these boring comedians. I like the
edgy guy. I would have disliked my own comedy back then.
They asked Jim about working relatively clean. Was he always clean?
Jim said, Now, I tried on a lot of different hats.
I tried being edgy. There's footage of me smoking on stage. Whoa,
(08:01):
WHOA relaxed there Jim Dice Gaffigan smoking on stage. Who unbelievable?
So edgy? A lot of it's just trial and error.
Eventually you end up being the person who actually are
on stage. That's kind of unavoidable and stand up if
you want to embrace authenticity. Some of it is the
ten thousand hours and transferring what makes you funny with
your friends onto the stage. But the trial and error
(08:21):
is being educated on how the audience perceives you. It's
similar to being a character actor, which I also am,
which is code for ugly. You need self awareness. When
I'd go on stage at PIPS in nineteen ninety three,
the crowded just seeing Andrew Dice Clay and that see
me and think I'm John Tesh. I wanted to not
be John Tesh, but I eventually had to face the
reality that this is what I look like. It's unfortunate,
Jim added. Comedians get a lot of credit or criticism
(08:43):
for the comedy they do, but the reality is they
do exactly what they're kind of allowed to do. I'm
a big, lumbering white guy. If I was angry, I
don't think that would be appealing. Lewis Black can be angry,
even Bill Burr can be angry. But if I'm angry,
it just makes the audience uncomfortable. If I'm silly and
self effacing, that's palatable to the audience. Ah, We'll be
right back. The Lil Roady Comedy Festival announced their lineup.
(09:12):
Pretty good lineup. It shows are in March more, twenty
sixth to the twenty ninth, Providence, Rhode Island. John Mulaney,
Chelsea Handler, Jay Farrow, Mark Maren, Andrew Schultz, Bob the
Drag Queen and others. That's a pretty pretty impressive list.
Timothy Shalomy said Adam Sandler should have won an Oscar
for his performance in the two thousand and two film
Punch Drunk Love. I think I tell the story already
(09:33):
at my class. Yeah, I did ten days ago. In
my class I mentioned how for repetition and for humor,
I always say the great dramatic actor Adam Sandler, and
one of my students went him like a seven minute speech.
About Adam Sandler. It was like he was doing my bit,
except he was like super serious. I mean, I'm serious
about it. I do think Adam sandler comedies are terrible,
and he's a pretty good dramatic actor. But you know,
I lean into it for the bit. But this student
(09:54):
went on for like seven minutes, and this student was
all about punch drunk love. So my student agrees with
Timathy s Shella May, who says it's one of the
most important performances. It's impactful, deeply moving. As a young actor,
knowing you for your comedic work Adam Sandler, seeing that
thrown against the context of your other work, I'm like, Wow,
this is an incredible actor. I hope I can give
a performance like this. I know it's not about awards,
(10:17):
but you should have a golden man in your hand. Man.
You're one of the best actors of all time, exactly,
one of the best actors of all time, one of
the worst comedians. Actually, possibly the worst comedian. Now that's
probably somebody worse than him. I'm sure if I sat
here and thought about it for a minute, no one
immediately comes to mind. But in terms of comedy movies,
probably the worst of all time. Hopefully the great dramatic
actor Adam Sandler will heed the words of Timothy Shllamey,
(10:39):
who knows something about acting and has a very successful
career without doing moronic attempts at comedy. And that is
your comedy news for today. I once again bounced a
lot of stories. I got plenty for tomorrow and Monday.
And you know, usually this is a dead time of year,
but I've got a lot heading out of Thanksgiving. This
is like the easiest it's been since I started doing
the show Plenty to talk about. I'm having a good time.
(11:01):
Appreciate you listening. Seems like you're having a good time,
especially if you're still here this deep in. Have an
awesome day.