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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Volume two, Chapter thirteen. Emma continued to entertain no doubt
of her being in love. Her ideas only varied as
to the how much. At first she thought it was
a good deal, and afterwards but little. She had great
pleasure in hearing Frank Churchill talked of, and, for his sake,
greater pleasure than ever in seeing mister and missus Weston.
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She was very often thinking of him, and quite impatient
for a letter that she might know how he was,
how were his spirits, how was his aunt? And what
was the chance of his coming to Randall's again this spring?
But on the other hand, she could not admit herself
to be unhappy, nor after the first morning, to be
less disposed for employment than usual. She was still busy
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and cheerful and pleasing as he was, she could yet
imagine him to have faults and farther. Though thinking of
him so much, and as she sat drawing or working
forming a thousand amusing schemes for the progress and close
of their attachment, fancying interesting dialogues, and inventing elegant letters,
the conclusion of every imaginary declaration on his side was
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that she refused him. Their affection was always to subside
into friendship. Everything tender and charming was to mark their parting,
but still they were to part. When she became sensible
of this, it struck her that she could not be
very much in love, for, in spite of her previous
and fixed determination never to quit her father, never to marry,
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a strong attachment certainly must produce more of a struggle
than she could foresee in her own feelings. I do
not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice,
said she, in not one of all my clever replies,
my delicate negatives, is there any allusion to making a sacrifice.
I do suspect that he is not really necessary to
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my happiness. So much the better. I certainly will not
persuade myself to feel more than I do. I am
quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be more.
Upon the whole, She was equally contented with her view
of his feelings. He is undoubtedly very much in love.
Everything denotes it, very much in love indeed, And when
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he comes again, if his affection continue, I must be
on my guard not to encourage it. It would be
most inexcusable to do otherwise, as my own mind is
quite made up not that I imagine he can think
I have been encouraging him hitherto No, if he had
believed me at all to share his feelings, he would
not have been so wretched. Could he have thought himself encouraged.
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His looks and language at parting would have been different. Still, however,
I must be on my guard. This is in the
supposition of his attachment continuing what it now is, But
I do not know that I expect it will. I
do not look upon him to be quite the sort
of man. I do not altogether build upon his steadiness
or constancy. His feelings are warm, but I can imagine
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them rather changeable. Every consideration of the subject, in short,
makes me thankful that my happiness is not more deeply involved.
I shall do very well again after a little while,
and then it will be a good thing over, For
they say everybody is in love once in their lives,
and I shall have been let off easily. When his
letter to missus Weston arrived, Emma had the perusal of it,
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and she read it with a degree of pleasure and admiration,
which made her at first shake her head over her
own sensations and think she had undervalued their strength It
was a long, well written letter giving the particulars of
his journey and of his feelings, expressing all the affection,
gratitude and respect which was natural and honorable, and describing
everything exterior and local that could be supposed attractive with
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spirit and precision. No suspicious flourishes now of apology or concern.
It was the language of real feeling towards Missus Weston
and the transition from Highbury to Enscombe. The contrast between
the places, in some of the first blessings of social life,
was just enough touched on to show how keenly it
was felt, and how much more might have been said,
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but for the restraints of propriety. The charm of her
own name was not wanting. Miss Woodhouse appeared more than once,
and never without a something of pleasing connection, either a
compliment to her taste or a remembrance of what she
had said, And in the very last time of its
meeting her eye, unadorned as it was by any such
broad wreath of gallantry, she yet could discern the effect
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of her influence and acknowledge the greatest compliment, perhaps of all,
conveyed compressed into the very lowest vacant corner were these words.
I had not a spare moment on Tuesday, as you
know for miss Woodhouse's beautiful little friend. Pray make my
excuses and adiuz to her. This Emma could not doubt
was all for herself. Harriet was remembered only from being
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her friend. His information and prospects as to Enscombe were
neither worse nor better than being anticipated. Missus Churchill was recovering,
had he dared not yet even in his own imagination,
fix a time for coming to Randall's again. Gratifying, however,
and stimulative, as was the letter the material part its sentiments,
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she yet found when it was folded up and returned
to Missus Weston, that it had not added any lasting warmth,
that she could still do without the writer, and that
he must learn to do without her. Her intentions were unchanged.
Her resolution of refusal only grew more interesting by the
addition of a scheme for his subsequent constellation unhappiness. His
recollection of Harriet and the words which clothed it, The
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Beautiful Little Friend suggested to her the idea of Harriet's
succeeding her in his affections. Was it impossible? No, Harriet
undoubtedly was greatly his inferior and understanding. But he had
been very much struck with the loveliness of her face
and the warm simplicity of her manner, and all the
probabilities of circumstance and connection were in her favor. For
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Harriet it would be advantageous and delightful. Indeed, I must
not dwell upon it, said she, I must not think
of it. I know the danger of indulging such speculations.
But stranger things have happened, and when we ceased to
care for each other as we do now, it will
be the means of confirming us in that sort of true,
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disinterested friendship which I can already look forward to with pleasure.
It was well to have a comfort in store on
Harriet's behalf, though it might be wise to let the
fancy touch it seldom, for evil in that quarter was
at hand. As Frank Churchill's arrival had succeeded mister Elton's
engagement in the Conversation of Highbury as the latest interest
had entirely borne down the first. So now upon Frank
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Churchill's disappearance, mister Elton's concerns were assuming the most irresistible
form his wedding day was named. He would soon be
among them again, mister Elton and his bride. There was
hardly time to talk over the first letter from Enscombe
before mister Elton and his bride was in everybody's mouth,
and Frank Churchill was forgotten. Emma grew sick at the sound.
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She had had three weeks of happy exemption from mister
Elton and Harriet's mind. She had been willing to hope
had been lately gaining strength with mister Weston's ball in view.
At least there had been a great deal of insensibility
to other things. But it was now too evident that
she had not attained such a state of composure as
could stand against the actual approach. New carriage, bell, ringing
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and all. Poor Harriet was in a flutter of spirits,
which required all the reasonings and soothings and attentions of
every kind that Emma could give. Emma felt that she
could not do too much for her, that Harriet had
a right to all her ingenuity and all her patience.
But it was heavy work to be forever convincing without
producing any effect, forever agreed to, without being able to
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make their opinions the same. Harriet listened submissively and said
it was very true. It was just as Miss Woodhouse described.
It was not worth while to think about them, and
she would not think about them any longer. But no
change of subject could avail, and the next half hour
saw her as anxious and restless about the Eltons as before.
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At last, Emma attacked her on another the ground, you
are allowing yourself to be so occupied and so unhappy
about mister Elton's marrying Harriet is the strongest reproach you
can make me. You could not give me a greater
reproof for the mistake I fell into. It was all
my doing. I know I have not forgotten it. I
assure you deceived myself. I did very miserably deceive you,
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and it will be a painful reflection to me forever
to not imagine me in danger of forgetting it. Harriet
felt this too much to utter more than a few
words of eager exclamation. Emma continued, I have not said
exert yourself, Harriet, for my sake, think less, talk less
of mister Elton for my sake, because for your own sake. Rather,
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I would wish it to be done. For the sake
of what is more important than my comfort, A habit
of self command in you, a consideration of what is
your duty, an attention to propriety and endeavor to avoid
the suspicions of others, to save your health and credit,
and restore your tranquility. These are the motives which I
have been pressing on you. They are very important, and
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sorry I am that you cannot feel them sufficiently to
act upon them. My being saved from pain is a
very secondary consideration. I want you to save yourself from
greater pain. Perhaps I may sometimes felt that Harriet would
not forget what was due, or rather what would be
kind by me. This appeal to her affections did more
than all the rest. The idea of wanting gratitude and
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consideration for Miss Woodhouse, whom she really loved, extremely made
her wretched for a while, and when the violence of
grief was comforted away, still remained powerful enough to prompt
to what was right and support her in it very tolerably. You,
who have been the best friend I ever had in
my life, want gratitude to you. Nobody is equal to you.
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I care for nobody as I do for you, Oh
Miss Woodhouse. How ungrateful. I have been such expressions, assisted
as they were by everything that look and manner could do.
Made Emma feel that she had never loved Harriet so well,
nor valued her of affection so highly before. There is
no charm equal to tenderness of heart, said she afterwards
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to herself. There is nothing to be compared to it.
Warmth and tenderness of heart with an affectionate, open manner
will beat all the clearness of head in the world
for attraction. I am sure it will. It is tenderness
of heart which makes my dear father so generally beloved,
which gives Isabella all her popularity. I have it not,
but I know how to prize and respect it. Harriet
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is my superior in all the charm and all the
felicity it gives. Dear Harriet, I would not change you
for the clearest headed, longest sighted, best judging female breathing, Oh,
the coldness of a Jane Fairfax. Harriet is worth a
hundred such and for a wife, a sensible man's wife,
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it is invaluable. I mention no names, but happy the
man who changes Emma for Harriet. End of Chapter thirteen.