The Duel of the Two Sharpers, from the Thousand and One Nights

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The duel of the two sharpers from the thousand and
one knights. There was once in the city of Baghdad
a man, Hight Almarbasi, who was a sharper and ruined
the fork with his rugeries, and he was renowned in
all quarters for knavery. He went out one day carrying

(00:21):
a load of small pebbles and swore to himself that
he would not return to his lodging till he had
sold it at the price of racins. Now there was
in another city a second sharper, Hight al Rasi, one
of its worst, who went out the same day bearing
a load of round stones an and which he too

(00:43):
had sworn to himself that he would not sell it,
but at the price of sun dried figs. So the
twain fared on with that which was by them, and ceased,
not going till they met in one of the khans,
and one complained to other of what he had suffered
on travel in quest of gain, and of the little

(01:04):
demand for his wares. Now each of them had it
in mind to cheat his fellow. So the man of
marv said to the man of Rae, wilt thou sell me?
That he said yes, and the other continued, and wilt
thou buy that which is with me? The man of
ray consented. So they agreed upon this, and each of

(01:27):
them sold to his mate that which was with him
in exchange for the others, after which they bade farewell,
and both fared forth. As soon as the twain were
out of sight, they examined their loads to see what
was therein, and one of them found that he had
a load of small pebbles, and the other that he

(01:47):
had a load of round stones. Whereupon each of them
turned back in quest of his fellow. They met again
in the khan, and, laughing at each other, canceled their bargain.
Then they agreed to enter into partnership, and that of
all they had, of money and other good should be
in common share and share alike. Then quoth al Rasi

(02:12):
to al MARVASI, come with me to my city, for
that is nearer than thine. So he went with him,
and when he arrived at his quarters, he said to
his wife and household and neighbors, this is my brother
who hath been absent in the land of Khorassan, and
is come back. And he abode with him in all honor.

(02:35):
For a space of three days. On the fourth day,
al Rasis said to him, know, o, my brother, that
I purpose to do something. The other asked what is it,
and the first answered, I mean to feign myself dead,
And do thou go to the basar and hide two

(02:55):
porters and a bier. Then take me up and go
about the st reads and markets with my body, and
collect arms on my account. Note moslins are bound to
see true believers decently buried, and the poor often beg
arms for the funeral end of note. Accordingly, the marman

(03:18):
repaired to the market, and, fetching that which he sought,
returned to the rayman's house, where he found his fellow
cast down in the entrance passage, with his bear tied
and his eyes shut, and his complexion was pale, and
his limbs were loose. So he deemed him really dead
and shook him, but he spoke not. Then he took

(03:38):
a knife and pricked his feet, but he budged not. Presently,
said al Rasi, what is this, o fool? And said
al Marvasi, I deem thou wast dead in very deed,
al Rasi cried, get thee to business and leave funning.

(03:59):
So he took him up and went with him to
the market and collected arms for him that day till eventide,
when he bore him back to his aboat and waited
till the morrow. Next morning, he again took up the
bear and walked round with it as before, in quest
of charity. Presently the chief of police, who was of

(04:21):
those who had given imunds on the previous day, met him.
So he was angered and fell on the porters and
beat them and took the dead body, saying I will
bury him and win reward in heaven. So his followers
took him up, and carrying him to the police officer,
fetched gray diggers who dug him a grave. Then they

(04:44):
brought him a shroud and perfumes, and fetched an old
man of the quarter to wash him. So the shrike
recited over him the appointed prayers, and laying him on
the bench, washed him and shrouded him. When the dead
man found himself alone, he sprang up as he were
a satan, and, donning the corpse washer's dress, took the

(05:05):
cups and water can and wrapped them up in the napkins.
Then he clapped his shroud under his armpit and went
out the door keepers thought that he was the washer,
and asked him, hast thou made an end of the washing,
so we may acquaint the emeror. The sharper answered yes,

(05:26):
and made off to his abode, where he found the
marman A wooing his wife and saying to her, by
the life, thou wilt never again look upon his face.
For the best reason that by this time he spuried.
I myself escaped not from them, but after toil and travel.
And if he speak, they will do him to death,

(05:48):
quoth she? And what wouldst thou have of me? And
quoth he be mine? For I'm better than thy husband. Now,
when the Rayma heard this, he rushed in upon them,
And when al Arvasi saw him, he wondered at him
and said to him, how didst thou make thine escape? Accordingly,

(06:12):
he told him the trick he had played. And they
abode talking of that which they had collected from the fork,
And indeed they had gotten great store of money. Then
said the man O marv in very sooth mine absence
hath been prolonged, and leave, would I return to my
own land? Al Rasi said, as thou wilst and the

(06:35):
other rejoined, let us divide the moneys we have made,
and do thou go with me to my home, so
I may show thee my tricks and my works, replied
the man of Ray, come to morrow, and we will
divide the coin. So the marman went away, and the
other turned to his wife and said to her, we

(06:58):
have collected us great eat, plenty of money, and the
dog would fain take the half of it. But such
things shall never be. For my mind hath been changed
against him since I heard him making love to thee.
Now therefore I propose to play him a trick and
enjoy all the money. And do thou not oppose me?

(07:20):
She replied, tis well, and he said to her to morrow,
at peep O day, I will feign myself dead, and
do thou cry aloud and tear thy hair, whereupon the
folk with flocked to me. Then lay me out and
bury me. And when the folk are gone away from
the grave, dig down to me and take me, and

(07:43):
fear not for me, as I can abide without harm.
Two days in the tomb nish whereto she made answer,
Do in whatso thou wilt accordingly. When it was the
dawn hour, she bound, despaired and spreading a veil over it,
shrieked aloud, whereupon the people of the quarter flocked to her.

(08:05):
Men and women. Presently up came Almarbasi for the division
of the money, and, hearing the keening, asked what may
be the news? Quoth they, thy brother is dead, And
quoth he in himself thee accursed fellow cousineth me, so

(08:25):
he may get all the coin for himself, But I
will presently do with him what shall soon requicken him.
Then he tore the bosom of his robe and bared
his head, weeping and saying, alas my brother, ah alas
my chief, ah alas my lord ah. And he went

(08:50):
in to the men, who rose and condoled with him.
Then he accosted the rayman's wife and said to her
how came his death? To a said she, I know
nothing except that when I arose in the morning, I
found him dead. Moreover, he questioned her of the money

(09:11):
which was with her, but she cried, I have no
knowledge of this and no tidings. So he set down
at his fellow sharper's head and said to him, know
o RASI, that I will not leave thee till after
ten days, with their knights, wherein I will wake and
sleep by thy grave. So rise and don't be a fool.

(09:35):
But he answered him not, and the man o Marv
drew his knife and fell to sticking it into the
other's hands and feet, proposing to make him move, But
he stirred not. And he presently grew weary of this,
and determined that the sharper was really dead. However, he
still had his suspicions, and said to himself, this fellow

(09:59):
is for me, so he may enjoy all the money therewith.
He began to prepare the body for burial, and bought
for it perfumes and whatso was needed. Then they brought
him to the washing place, and Almarvasi came to him, and,
heating water till it boiled and bubbled, and the third

(10:19):
of it was evaporated, fell to pouring it on his skin,
so that it turned bright red and lively blue, and
was blistered. But he abode still motionless. Presently they wrapped
him in the shroud and set him on the bear,
which they took up, and, bearing him to the burial place,
placed him in the grayenish and filled in the earth,

(10:42):
after which the fog dispersed, But the marman and the
widow abode by the tomb, weeping, and ceased, not sitting
till sundown. When the woman said to him, come let
us hear us home, for this weeping will not profit us,
nor will it resto or the dead, he replied to her,

(11:03):
by allah, I will not budge, hence till I have
slept and waked by this tomb ten days with their knights.
When she heard this his speech, she feared lest he
should keep his word and his oath, and so her
husband perish. But she said in her mind, this one
dissembleth and I leave him and return to my house.

(11:27):
He will tarry by him a little while and go away,
And al MARVASI said to her, arise thou, and he
thee home. So she arose and repaired to her house,
while the man of Marve abode in his place till
the night was half spent. When he said to himself,
how long yet? How can I let this snavish dog

(11:51):
die and lose the money. Better I open the tomb
on him and bring him forth, and take my due
of him by diner of grievous beating and torment. Accordingly,
he dug him up and pulled him forth of the grave,
after which he betook himself to a garden hard by
the burial ground, and cut then staves and palm fronts.

(12:15):
Then he tied the dead man's legs and laid on
to him with the staff, and beat him a grievous beating,
but the body never budged. When the time grew longsome
on him, his shoulders became awary, and he feared lest
some one of the watch passing on his ground should
surprise and seize him. So he took up al Rasi,

(12:40):
and carrying him forth to the cemetery, stayed not till
he came to the magian's morchery place, and casting him
down in a tower of silence, rained heavy blows upon
him till his shoulders failed him, but the other stirred not.
Then he seated him by his side, and rest did,

(13:00):
after which he rose and renewed the beating upon him,
And thus he did till the end of the night,
but without making him move. Now, as Destiny decreed, a
band of robbers, whose want it was when they had
stolen anything, to resort to that place, and there divide
their loot, came thither in early dawn. According to their custom,

(13:26):
they numbered ten, and they had with them much wealth,
which they were carrying. When they approached the Tower of Silence,
they heard a noise of blows within it, and their
captain cried, this is a maggyon whom the angels are tormenting.
So they entered the cemetery, and as soon as they

(13:48):
arrived over against him. The man of Mar feared lest
they should be the watchmen come upon him. Therefore he
fled and stood among the tombs. The robbers advance as
to the place, and, finding the man of Ray bound
by the feet and by him some seventy sticks, wondered
at this with exceeding wonder, and said Allah confound thee

(14:14):
this was a miscreant, a man of many crimes. For
Earth has rejected him from her womb, and by my
life is yet fresh. This is his first night in
the tomb, and the angels were tormenting him. But now, so,
whoso of you hath a sin upon his soul, let

(14:34):
him beat him. By way of offering to Almighty Allah.
The robber said, we be sinners, one and all. So
each of them went up to the corpse and dealt
it about a hundred blows, one saying the wild this
is for my father, and another laid on to him, crying,
this is for my grandfather, whilst the third muttered this

(14:59):
is for my and a fourth exclaimed this is for
my mother. And they gave not taking turns at him
and beating him till they were weary, whilst almar Vassi
stood laughing and saying, in himself tis not I alone
who have entered into default against him. There is no

(15:20):
majesty and there is no might save in Allah the
Glorious the Great. Then the robbers applied themselves to sharing
their loot, wherein was a sword, which caused them to
fall out and end the man who should take it.
Quoth the captain tis my read that we make proof
of it. So an it be a fine blade, we

(15:42):
shall know its worth, and if it be worthless, we
shall know that. Whereto, they said, try on this corpse,
for it is fresh. So the captain took the sword, and,
drawing it, brandished and made a false cut with it.
But when the man of Ray saw this, he felt
sure of death, and said, in his mind I have

(16:04):
borne the washing slab, and the boiling water, and the
pricking with a knife point, and the graynish and its straitness,
and all this trusting in a law that I might
be delivered from death. And indeed I have been delivered.
But the sword I may not suffer, seeing that one

(16:25):
stroke of it will make me a dead man. So saying,
he sprang to his feet, and, seizing a thigh bone
of one departed, shouted at the top of his voice,
oh ye, did once take them to yourselves? And he
smote one of them, whilst his mate of marv smote another.
And they cried out at them and buffeted them on

(16:47):
their neck napes. Whereupon the robbers left that which was
with them of loot and ran away. And indeed their
wits took flight for terror, and they ceased, not running
till they came forth of the Muggion morchery ground, and
left it a parsang's length behind them. When they halted, trembling,
and affrighted for the muchness of that which had befallen

(17:10):
them of fear and ave of the dead. As for
al Rasi and al Marvasi, they made peace each with other,
and sat down to share the spoil. Quoth the man
of Marve, I will not give thee a dirham of
this money till thou pay me my due of the
moneys that be in thy house. And quoth the man

(17:32):
of Ray, I will do nought of the kind, nor
will I withdraw this from aught of my due. So
they fell out thereupon and disputed each with other, and
either of the twain went saying to his fellow, I
will not give thee a dirham. Wherefore words ran high
between them, and the brawl was prolonged. Meanwhile, when the

(17:57):
robbers halted, one of them said to the others, let
us go back and see. And the captain said, this
thing is impossible. Of the dead never heard we that
they came to life in such way. Return we and
take our moneys for that the dead have no need
of money. And they were divided in opinion as to returning.

(18:20):
But presently one said, indeed, our weapons are gone, and
we may not prevail against them, and will not draw
near the place. Only let one of us go look
at it, and if he hear no sound of them,
let him suggest to us what we shall do. At this,
they agreed that they should send a man of them

(18:41):
and assign him for such mission. Two parts of the
plunder Accordingly, he returned to the burial ground and gave
not over going till he stood at the door of
the Tower of Silence, when he heard the words of
al MARVASI to his fellow, I will not give thee
a single dirham of the mine. The others said the same,

(19:02):
and they were occupied with brawling and abuse and talk.
So the robber returned in haste to his mates, who said,
what is behind thee? Quoth he? Get you gone? And
run for your lives, o fools, and save yourselves. Much
people of the dead are come to life, and between
them are words and brawls. Hereat The robbers fled, whilst

(19:27):
the two sharpers returned to the manor Ray's house and
made peace and added the robbers spoiled to the moneys
they had gained, and lived a length of time.