August 19, 2025 • 29 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Dive into "Daily Our Miss Brooks," where each podcast episode brings you a slice of life from the iconic radio character, Miss Brooks. Experience her daily escapades in teaching, alongside lively interactions with students and faculty, all infused with the wit and charm that made the original series a hit. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the series, this podcast is your go-to for a daily laugh rooted in classic entertainment.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm on it. Soul, your beauty, hope and Pluster Cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you, our Missus
Brooks starring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
To most people, a warm May Day suggests to vive
in the country are leisurely picnic.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
But to our miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison
High School, it has a far different significance.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yes, indeed, to me, a warm May Day means just
one thing. Mister Conklin, our beloved principle, is putting the
heat on. Some people feel that mister Conklin makes his
teachers miserable because of his costlessness. I don't agree. You
can't make so many so miserable so often without giving
it plenty of thought. How the traps I'm being too
(00:51):
harsh in my judgments. A principal's life can't be all
a bed of roses either. There must be many nights
which he spends tossing and turning in bed until the
wee small hours, hoping, planning, thinking, saying to himself what
can I do to them this week? Well, during the
(01:12):
free period life Friday morning, his nocturnal efforts seemed to
have borne fruit. He started an impromptu quiz without prizes.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Uh huh oh, yes, mister Conquin.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Congjugate the verb strive.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Please strive, strive, strove striven.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Now thrive thrive, thrive.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Throw thriven. Oh no, thrill, mister. These sudden little tests
are quite disconcerting.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
We're not finished, yes, sir, more Verbs five five five
fou priven. No, wait a minute, mister cousin.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Five isn't the verbs?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I knew my visit to your room would produce some value,
little bit of information.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Now.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
My main reason for.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Dropping in, however, was to ask you to do me
a favor of Miss brook As you know, Sunday is
Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yes, I know, mister Conklin. Thanks to a special savings
plan I started in February, I was able to send
my mother a card this morning. But what did you
want me to do for you?
Speaker 6 (02:19):
I'd like you to take this package home with you
and keep it until Sunday morning. It's a little Mother's
Day remembrance for missus Conklin, and I don't want her
to stumble upon it before time. Wonderful woman, missus Conklin,
and she's trained our daughter Harriet to be a duplicate
of herself. Really, yes, it's between them. They're the two
biggest snoopers in the county.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That makes it unanimous. I mean, I'll be happy to
keep the package calling.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
I hope my daughter Harriet remembers Mother's Day. Lately, she's
had her mind on nothing but that moronic manager of
the baseball team, Walter Jenson.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Walter isn't so bad, mister Canton. Of course, he's not.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
A brilliant student's brilliant Walter Denton is Madison's gift to subnormality.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
The thing that annoys me most is the way he bounces.
He never goes anywhere. He always bounces there, I.
Speaker 7 (03:16):
Am, miss Brooks. I just thought I bounce him for
a minute.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
Well, if it isn't the human hands ball.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
If I'm interrupting anything, I'll just bounce along.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Know Walter, Mister Conklin was about to dribble back to
his office. That is, you were finished with me, weren't you,
miss Conklin.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Quite Good morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Goodbye, mister Conklin.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
I still a vis to mister Conklin. I learned that
in Spanish it means to see you later.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
Oh well knows the lobo staed premero.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
What does that mean, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
That means not if I see you first?
Speaker 8 (03:54):
Now?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Walter?
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Well, I need some advice, Miss Brooks, and as is
my won't when I wanted. I've hired myself to my
favorite English teachers, so that matter, my favorite any kind
of teacher.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Are you sure it's only advice you want?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Oh sure, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (04:10):
It's about a mother's day gift, but a very special
type of mother, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
That is.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
I know it's impossible right now, but just for supposition's sake,
suppose you woke up one day and found yourself a mother.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I have a mother or she's miles away.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
No, Miss Brooks, I didn't mean it that way. I
mean if you awoke to find that you were a mother, Now,
what would your first question be?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Way? Uh?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Are you?
Speaker 7 (04:42):
Certainly wouldn't say how is my husband?
Speaker 9 (04:45):
Not me?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I might say who is my uther?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
I'm serious, Miss Brooks. My dad told me that was
my mother's first concern. She knew that I was all right.
You know, she thinks of us constantly and never of herself.
But me, what do I do in return? I don't
get out of bed when she wakes me. I leave
my clothes all over the house. Sunday's mother's James Brooks,
and I've got to make it up to her.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well, i's pretty short notice, Walter. But I have a
suggestion for you. You have yes Sunday morning. Wait till
your mother starts to make breakfast and you're sure she's
in the kitchen, close the dog quietly behind her. Then
then gather up all the clothes that you've scattered around
the house. Then then put them in a big suit case.
Then then run away from home. I'm just teasing you, Walter.
(05:37):
There's only one way you can make your mother happy,
and that's by turning over a new leaf.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Well, I'll try this, Brooks. But meanwhile, that's just supposing again. Oh,
what kind of a present would you like if you
were a mother?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I wouldn't care much about President Walter. I'd just be
happy if I had all my beloved children around me. Gee.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Oh, of course, my mother only has this one beloved child.
I don't know that it is a lovely sentiment. However,
I'd still like to figure out a little gift of
some sort. Oh, what would make a young mother like
yourself happy?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
A young father like mister Boynton always reminds me, Walter,
it's time for me to get down to his laboratory
and pick him up for lunch.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Oh did he invite you for lunch today?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Of course he did, about ten minutes from now. Not
tell me, Walter. We able to find out what kind
of a gift she's like?
Speaker 7 (06:33):
I couldn't find out a saying, Harriet, but.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
We've got to get her something.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
What's the good of naming miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Are mother away from Mother? If we can't surprise her.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
With somebody she wants. I'm sorry, Harriet, but all she'd
say was that she'd be happy with all her beloved
children around her. And she is kidding. Of course, I
hope she wasn't kidding.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
She met us.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Now, let's see, we'll.
Speaker 11 (06:57):
Organize a committee to pick out a gift and give
it to miss great Harriet.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
Then tonight will officially become Mother away from Mother's Day night.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Now that we're finished with lunch, Miss Brooks, I I've
got a surprise for you.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Surprise What is it, mister Barton, I guess you're picking
up both checks. No, I'm picking up both checks.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
No, then I give up, Miss Brooks. I want you
to meet my folks.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh, mister Barton, you've only known me for five years.
This is so sudden.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I just found out they were coming to town myself.
You see. They usually spend Mother's Day with my married brother,
but mom decided that this year it's my turn to
do what.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Oh, you're trying to spend Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
That's right. You'll love my mother, Miss Brooks. She used
to be a school teacher too, you know. As a
matter of fact, she worked herself up until she was
a principal.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
You've got to get pretty worked up to be a principal. Oh,
I'm unsure we'll get along splendidly.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
And you'll be crazy about my dad. Oh, what his
sense of humor he's got. He's the one who told
me to joke about the quiz master who called out,
I've got a lady doctor. But before he could ask
her any questions, he stuck a thermometer in his mouth
and took his poat.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Isn't that his scream?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Your father? Sounds like more fun than a barrel of nothing?
May I ask you a rather personal question about your folks.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh, certainly, miss Books. What is it?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
How long did they go around together before they were married?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Nine years?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I'll plead in long engagements in those days, I guess.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Oh, they weren't engaged until six weeks before the wedding.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Six weeks.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Once Dad makes up his mind about something he's greasedlightly.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
He's could have used a little griefing the first eight years. Yeah,
certainly be looking forward to seeing them misappointments. When don't
they arrive in.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Town this afternoon, is Brooks, I'll have to check them
into a hotel for the weekend. I've just got a
small bachelor apartment.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Yes, I know you've told me about it. Maybe your
folks you'd like to drop over to my place tonight.
I'm sure my landlady, missus Davis wouldn't mind my dust
in the living room a little.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Oh, it's just fine with me and Miss Brooks. I'll
get my folks a chance to rest up and the
cliff and have some dinner before they before they meet
the girl about whom I've or they've heard so much.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Mister b you mean you actually wrote to your folks
about it?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
And how miss Brooks. I've written them many times about
how gay and youthful and exuberant you are.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I am you. I mean, you have.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Gone right. I remember in one of my most recent
letters to them, I said you were more like a
pupil than a teacher. In fact, I think that was
a letter in which I described you as a great, big,
overgrown kid.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Maybe i'd better take something.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
You should have seen the answer I got from Dad.
He said, whatever you do, son.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Don't rob the cradle.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Leave it to dead.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Oh, here's jesting, of course, he loves youngsters.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Mister Barney, you've given me an idea.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
What kind of an idea? Mis books, If.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Your father turns me down when I ask him for
your hand, maybe he'll adopt.
Speaker 9 (10:25):
Me and you.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Arden will continue in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But first, here is Verne Smith.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Here's wonderful news, ladies, wonderful wonderful news. Now there's something
frillingly new in toarm Olly's famous beauty lather. Yes, something
frillingly new. Pa Molly's famous beauty lather now brings you
a new fragrance.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
You charm, you allure.
Speaker 10 (10:55):
Millions of women will prefer beauty ladder par Molly's over
all other leading toilets the minute they try us for
Palmali's solf. Same as Beauty Ladder now has a new
clean flower fresh fragrance for new allure, new chard so.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Ladies, forget all other beauty care and use Palmaly soap
the way doctors advise.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
For a lovelier.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Complexion, Just stop improper cleansing and instead wash your face
with Palmaly soap three times a day, massaging Palmali's wonderful
beauty lather onto your skin for sixty seconds each time
to get its full beautifying effect.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Then rise.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's all All types of skins, young, older, oily respond
to it quickly. Don't wait another day to try Palmaly's
Beauty Ladder. You'll be thrilled by its new fragrance. You charm,
you allure, thrilled again by the fresher, brighter complexion doctors
proved may soon be yours For.
Speaker 10 (11:47):
New loviness all over, use big bath size Parmaley in
tabo shower.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Well. I hurried home right after school and put mister
Conqulin's gift to his wife on my dresser, and I
started to make myself on the house as presentable as possible.
Before mister Boynton's parents came over that evening. First of all,
I shampooed my hair and set it in pin curls.
Then I put on an old, oversized house dress, which
I borrowed from Missus Davis. This intriguing combination achieved the
(12:21):
happy effect of making me look like a pack rack
drowning in a quantcert hug. Then I went into the
living room to get things in order. When I got there,
Missus Davis had just finished vacuuming.
Speaker 11 (12:33):
Oh, Connie, will you pull the plug out for me?
My Beck's been bothering me lately.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh, certainly, Missus Davis. There. Hey, this vacuum cleaner's pretty old,
isn't it?
Speaker 11 (12:44):
Yes, indeed, but he's held up remarkably well. I bought
it in nineteen thirty two.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Nineteen thirty two.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes, this hoover.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Came in and the other one went out.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
I'll just how the place looks nice and neat for
to night. You know, I've never met mister Briton's parents before.
Speaker 11 (13:03):
I know you haven't, Connie, And first impressions are so important.
That's why I sent our sofa and all the chairs
out to be recovered.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
What every chair in.
Speaker 11 (13:14):
The house is that the upholster is Connie. But don't worry,
Stretch Snodgrass took them down for me, and he promised
to bring them back by six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Stretch Snodgrass. Look, Missus Davis, Stretch may be a fine athlete,
but when it comes to mentality, he's strictly a third strike.
Why he's liable to forget where he took the chairs?
Speaker 11 (13:30):
Oh, I don't think so, Connie. You know how absent
minded I am, And even I couldn't.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Forget the name of this upholsterers.
Speaker 11 (13:37):
Why not because he has a very odd name.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
What is what.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
The name?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Who's name?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
The upholsterer?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Upholster?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yes, look, missus Davis, the sofa and all our chairs
are being recovered today.
Speaker 11 (13:58):
Well, they can certainly use it. Where did you send them?
Speaker 9 (14:04):
Connie Fellow with a very odd name.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I never can remember it.
Speaker 11 (14:11):
I'm sure it'll come back to you later. Now you'll
excuse me. I've got to get out in there and
look for our cat Minerva.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Is she missing? Against mm hmm.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
She had a date this morning, a date, Yes, I
heard your making it last night.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But she should be back.
Speaker 11 (14:28):
Fin now She knows how I worry about her. Well,
you let me know. She comes in the frontway, Connie,
and I'll take.
Speaker 10 (14:34):
A look back.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
You all right, Missus Davis. That's funny. The Nerva never bothered.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
To ring before.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
How do you do, my dear, how do you do?
Speaker 9 (14:47):
I'm Philip's mother, Philip, Yes, Philip Boyton, I'm Missus Boynton.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
But that's impossible. You won't be here till tonight. Oh,
I come in, Missus Boynon.
Speaker 9 (14:58):
You don't have to tell me who you are. Philip
has written so much about you. Yes, he says, Miss
Brooks wouldn't know what to do without you. Missus Davis,
Missus Davis, Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Honey, that's Missus Davis, Missus Boyton. I'm Missus Brooks, such
as I am. We've got company, Missus Davis.
Speaker 11 (15:17):
Or she came into play.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
She yeah, she's right here in the living room.
Speaker 11 (15:23):
She's a wicked cat.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
And put her under the p.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yes, Missus Davis, you're a wicked cat, and get under
the Oh no, oh, you'll have to forgive me, Missus Boynton.
I didn't expect you until after dinner.
Speaker 9 (15:37):
Well, that's perfectly all right, miss Brooks, as a matter
of fact, I owe you an apology for not recognizing you.
But it was rather dem in here.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Not dim enough. But where's mister Boynton or should I
say where are mister Boyton or mister Boyton?
Speaker 9 (15:57):
Well, they had a little trouble parking the car, and
I wanted me to myself first. Anyway, Philip's written so
much about you, you must see an awful lot of
each other. Well, we do teach at the same school.
I understand you were a teacher at one time, Missus Varney. Yes,
indeed for many years.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
It's remarkable you still let's go, well, said are you?
Speaker 9 (16:20):
Oh it's the boys, Hello.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Philip, my dear, Hello mom, Well I see you too,
have mad.
Speaker 9 (16:25):
Yes, indeed they're old friends.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
By now, well, here's he is?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Dad is slippy pied, My dear, fibe, what old fingers?
How do you do, mister Barney?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I do pretty well for an old CORDU old coda.
It card you that time, den I.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I've told you what I sensed a humor.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
He had stuff all right.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
If Phill's written its all about you, my dear, I
hear you're just like a mother to miss Rolks. Missus David.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
This house stress has got to go.
Speaker 11 (17:01):
This isn't missus Davis Harvey.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
It is, of course not Dad. This is missus Brooks.
Why are we all standing out here in the hall.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, let's all go in and stand in the living room.
Well here we are now, then, Missus Boynton, if you
just come over to this land, that's a very comfortable
place to stand stand over there by the piano.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I don't understand, Miss Brooks, were all the chairs.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
They're out being recovered. I didn't expect you for hours yet,
mister Boyne, this is a terrible thing to do to anybody.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
I'm sorry, Miss Books, but it couldn't be helped us either.
It was the convention in town. I couldn't get the
folks accommodations anywhere. You know how big my room is,
and well, I wondered if you and missus Davis could
put the folks up for the weekend.
Speaker 9 (17:44):
I some I'm surprised that you. You know better than
to whisper in front of others.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
No, I'm sorry, mother, I was just explaining our predicament
to Miss Brooks. She was saying how delighted she'd be
to have you stayed for a couple of days. Will.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Now that's what I call whopping hospitality.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
It's all right.
Speaker 11 (18:02):
I think you give me a hand of the guardage, Tony.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I just can't. Oh, I think your This is mister
and missus Boyton, and this contrary to popular opinion, as
Missus Davis, how.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Do you do this?
Speaker 9 (18:14):
Hello, Missus Davis.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
A good afternoon, Missus d nice little place you've got it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
I just invited the folks to spend the weekend with us.
Missus Davis, if you don't mind my doubling up with you.
I figured they could have my room.
Speaker 11 (18:25):
That's perfectly all right. Oh, dear the upholster. You folks
must be tired after your trip. Why don't you go
to bed?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
It's only falters in the afternoon.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Oh, Missus Davis is only kidding Missus Barton. She's got
quite a sense of humor too.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Just remember one saying, Missus Davis, you can't kid a
kidder kiddle.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
As we get off some cracks, Missus Davis. Yeah, he's
a jim dandy.
Speaker 9 (19:03):
Now it's you folks.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
She'll just follow me.
Speaker 11 (19:05):
I'll show you to your room, A rabbit's Brookie's room.
Speaker 9 (19:08):
Well I could do with a bit of freshening up
at this.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh nonsense, mother, you're his fresh is today?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I got you?
Speaker 8 (19:18):
Cut it out there, yeah, cut.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It out there?
Speaker 9 (19:26):
How his soft? I don't know how he's get some
of his ideas. He's terribly original, don't you think, miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Oh a second oscar hammer? Sign missus Barney. Or to
put it another way, the corn is as high as
the elephant hide.
Speaker 9 (19:48):
Well, miss Brooks certainly has a comfortable room.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Hovey is.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Indeed, that's showing a little cat naps just what the
doctor ordered.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Tell me, howey, what do you think of miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Hell, it's hard to tell that. I'll pit your head on.
But once she the hair and climbs out of that
duney sack, I'll bet she's a looker.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Yes, but what is she looking for?
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Now, mother, you think that every girl who meets him
immediately sets her.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Cap for Philip?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Hey puts his package undress. It here says for mother.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Must be for you.
Speaker 9 (20:16):
Oh wasn't that thoughtful of miss Brooks? She got a
Mother's Day gift on it when she said I was coming.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I'm going to open it right now. Oh but Mother's Day,
isn't it till send.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You know I never have the patience to wait.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Why what's this?
Speaker 9 (20:32):
A black sheer negligent?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Well, laughy Mother's day.
Speaker 7 (20:39):
For me?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Look, his card fell out when you opened the package.
It says for baby from her Goodies.
Speaker 9 (20:49):
So it belongs to miss Brook faby.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
You don't think that's still up woo?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Certainly not.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
You wouldn't have nerve enough as for that in the door.
Speaker 9 (20:57):
Well, I'm gonna find out just where this came from. Oh,
miss Brook, Yes, would looking here a moment?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Please?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Miss What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well?
Speaker 9 (21:07):
I opened the package from mistake and found this inside
of it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
A black sheer neghlage.
Speaker 9 (21:14):
It was a card with it that said Bob Baby
from Hoodie Goodie.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Oh that must be short for us good Why? Of
course that was mister Conklin's gear, Miss.
Speaker 9 (21:24):
Coplin, the principal of Madison High.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yes, isn't he a devil?
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
To keep it for him so his wife wouldn't discover
it before Mother's Day. Oh, it's for his wife. Yes,
who did you think it was for? Don't answer that.
I can tell from the position of your eyebrows. My eyebrows, Yes,
missus Vardon. You better drop them a notch. You're pushing
back your hairnet.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
It certainly was nice of you to invite us out
at dinner, Missus p Is.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Indeed, it's delicious to.
Speaker 11 (22:02):
Thank you both have you, But missus Brooks is the
one who deserves the credit.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
She prepared it all.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh, come now, missus Davis, you opened every bit as
much as I did.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Beef se isn't it?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
There's beef represented in us. Yes, he hits slowly.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yes, mother, they say your stomach has no teeth, but
maybe it's just as well if it got too hungry.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
It's too off your suspender button. He always gets me
when I've got a mouth.
Speaker 9 (22:38):
Will he's such a baby.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
There's nothing but a great, big, overgrown kid.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
That's funny.
Speaker 9 (22:46):
That's the same phrase as Philippus and describing you in
one of his letters.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Well she is mother. You ought to see her around
the school where the students just treat it like one
of themselves.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Oh, yes, indeed we kids have some great old times together.
Oh I'm glad.
Speaker 9 (22:59):
I like to to have lots of youthful friends. The
younger the better.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Well, they don't come much younger or better than Miss
Brooks's mother. Well, thank you, mister b call me Philip tonight.
Speaker 9 (23:13):
Excuse me, folks, I wonder who that could be.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Don't tell me.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Who is it, Missus Davis.
Speaker 7 (23:25):
Oh, we didn't mean to disturb you.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Oh that's all right, Walter. I was just telling the
folks how informal we are at Madison. Mister Missus Boynton.
They I present Walter Denon and Harriet Conquer.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
And now Miss Brooks, we would like to present something
to you that expresses the devotion and reverence fell towards
you by the entire student body.
Speaker 9 (23:47):
What is it, Walter?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
It's a shawl, A shawl and a handsome pair of
knitting needles to go with a rocking shirt to which
you're so attached. But that finished, Missus Poynton.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Ms Brooks, you have.
Speaker 7 (24:01):
Been chosen our mother away from mother.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh no, I'll go the pian of water and you've
seen the song we've written.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Okay, Harriet plady to hear this, folks.
Speaker 12 (24:17):
The B stands for the books she held such study.
The R is for she's righteous, also pure, for the
fact that she's our buddy. The second, oh is likewise,
(24:39):
I am sure.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
The ka is for okay, she rates avow. The S
is for her sadly wrinkled brow.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
She's motherly just like else.
Speaker 9 (25:00):
See the cow.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
We love you, dearly, Miss brook sat Me, I'll always
be Smiths.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
Froward bous Books returns and dust the moment.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
But first, dream Girl, green Girl, Beautiful luster cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look
after a luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Only.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Luster cream brings you k Dooma's magic formula. Blend of
secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin gives loveliness, lather even in
hardest water.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Glamorizes your hair as you wash it.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Luster Cream not a salt, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Lead's hair fragrantly clean.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Free of loose sandriuf, glistening with sheens saw manageable. Gives
new beauty to all hairdoos or permanence. Four ounce jar,
one dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars. Tonight, try
luster Cream shampoo.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And be a dream girl, dream girl, Beautiful luster cream Girl.
You your clowning gloriot woo a luster cream shampoo and
now once again here is our Miss Books.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Several days later, Friday night came to an end. As
I escorted mister Boyne to the front door. He was
in a strangely mellow mood enomous books.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I'm a man of many dreams, but more often than that,
I find I'm shooting too high.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Shooting too high, mister Boydan.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Well, yes, in trying to find the right girl, for instance,
it seems that subconsciously I'm always looking for a girl
who's just like my mother, attractive yet sweet, non selfish.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Well, don't give up the search, mister Boynan. Someday you're
liable to find such a girl right under your nose,
and I think that's a very nice location.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
What I mean is, when you gave up your room
for mother, I suddenly realized that you're not only attractive,
but also sweet and nonselfish. So miss Books, instead of
just shaking hands like we usually do, yes, mister go
I'd like to say good night to you the way
I do to my mother, with a kiss.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
A kiss, mister boy.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Yes, on the forehead.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
There you go, shooting too high again.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
The harm is what rock you by?
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Parmade soap?
Speaker 4 (28:03):
You're Gady hooks?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
And what's the cream gamble?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
The soft, glamorous, prescible hair. Our Mixed book starring Eve
Arden is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by
Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch. Mister Boyton is
played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conston by Gail Gordon. Others
in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Clenna, Lauria macmillan,
Fak Nelson and.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Myra marsh.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Wow, ma'am, do you shave with the latter or brushless
shaved cream? Parmalad shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever
way you prefer the shave, you'll find that using Parmelid
brushless or Parmala lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves. Here's the poof twenty five hundred and
forty eight men tried the new Parmalad waiter shave described
(28:48):
on the tube, and no matter how they had shaved before,
three out of every four got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves.
Jeth Parmalad gushless or Parmalad lather shape in Queens Today's.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
For Mystery literally.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Sprinkled with laughs.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Listen to Mystery and Missus Morse the exciting, fun fact
adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Tune infused the evenings over most of these.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Same stations, and be with us again next week at
the same time for another comedy episode of our.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Miss Brooks bab Leaman speaking.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Stay tuned now for Life with Luigi, which follows.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Immediately over most of these stations.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
This is CBS de Columbia Broadcasting
I'm on it. Soul, your beauty, hope and Pluster Cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you, our Missus
Brooks starring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
To most people, a warm May Day suggests to vive
in the country are leisurely picnic.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
But to our miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison
High School, it has a far different significance.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yes, indeed, to me, a warm May Day means just
one thing. Mister Conklin, our beloved principle, is putting the
heat on. Some people feel that mister Conklin makes his
teachers miserable because of his costlessness. I don't agree. You
can't make so many so miserable so often without giving
it plenty of thought. How the traps I'm being too
(00:51):
harsh in my judgments. A principal's life can't be all
a bed of roses either. There must be many nights
which he spends tossing and turning in bed until the
wee small hours, hoping, planning, thinking, saying to himself what
can I do to them this week? Well, during the
(01:12):
free period life Friday morning, his nocturnal efforts seemed to
have borne fruit. He started an impromptu quiz without prizes.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Uh huh oh, yes, mister Conquin.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Congjugate the verb strive.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Please strive, strive, strove striven.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Now thrive thrive, thrive.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Throw thriven. Oh no, thrill, mister. These sudden little tests
are quite disconcerting.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
We're not finished, yes, sir, more Verbs five five five
fou priven. No, wait a minute, mister cousin.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Five isn't the verbs?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I knew my visit to your room would produce some value,
little bit of information.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Now.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
My main reason for.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Dropping in, however, was to ask you to do me
a favor of Miss brook As you know, Sunday is
Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yes, I know, mister Conklin. Thanks to a special savings
plan I started in February, I was able to send
my mother a card this morning. But what did you
want me to do for you?
Speaker 6 (02:19):
I'd like you to take this package home with you
and keep it until Sunday morning. It's a little Mother's
Day remembrance for missus Conklin, and I don't want her
to stumble upon it before time. Wonderful woman, missus Conklin,
and she's trained our daughter Harriet to be a duplicate
of herself. Really, yes, it's between them. They're the two
biggest snoopers in the county.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That makes it unanimous. I mean, I'll be happy to
keep the package calling.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
I hope my daughter Harriet remembers Mother's Day. Lately, she's
had her mind on nothing but that moronic manager of
the baseball team, Walter Jenson.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Walter isn't so bad, mister Canton. Of course, he's not.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
A brilliant student's brilliant Walter Denton is Madison's gift to subnormality.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
The thing that annoys me most is the way he bounces.
He never goes anywhere. He always bounces there, I.
Speaker 7 (03:16):
Am, miss Brooks. I just thought I bounce him for
a minute.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
Well, if it isn't the human hands ball.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
If I'm interrupting anything, I'll just bounce along.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Know Walter, Mister Conklin was about to dribble back to
his office. That is, you were finished with me, weren't you,
miss Conklin.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Quite Good morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Goodbye, mister Conklin.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
I still a vis to mister Conklin. I learned that
in Spanish it means to see you later.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
Oh well knows the lobo staed premero.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
What does that mean, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
That means not if I see you first?
Speaker 8 (03:54):
Now?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Walter?
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Well, I need some advice, Miss Brooks, and as is
my won't when I wanted. I've hired myself to my
favorite English teachers, so that matter, my favorite any kind
of teacher.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Are you sure it's only advice you want?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Oh sure, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (04:10):
It's about a mother's day gift, but a very special
type of mother, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
That is.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
I know it's impossible right now, but just for supposition's sake,
suppose you woke up one day and found yourself a mother.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I have a mother or she's miles away.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
No, Miss Brooks, I didn't mean it that way. I
mean if you awoke to find that you were a mother, Now,
what would your first question be?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Way? Uh?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Are you?
Speaker 7 (04:42):
Certainly wouldn't say how is my husband?
Speaker 9 (04:45):
Not me?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I might say who is my uther?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
I'm serious, Miss Brooks. My dad told me that was
my mother's first concern. She knew that I was all right.
You know, she thinks of us constantly and never of herself.
But me, what do I do in return? I don't
get out of bed when she wakes me. I leave
my clothes all over the house. Sunday's mother's James Brooks,
and I've got to make it up to her.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well, i's pretty short notice, Walter. But I have a
suggestion for you. You have yes Sunday morning. Wait till
your mother starts to make breakfast and you're sure she's
in the kitchen, close the dog quietly behind her. Then
then gather up all the clothes that you've scattered around
the house. Then then put them in a big suit case.
Then then run away from home. I'm just teasing you, Walter.
(05:37):
There's only one way you can make your mother happy,
and that's by turning over a new leaf.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Well, I'll try this, Brooks. But meanwhile, that's just supposing again. Oh,
what kind of a present would you like if you
were a mother?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I wouldn't care much about President Walter. I'd just be
happy if I had all my beloved children around me. Gee.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Oh, of course, my mother only has this one beloved child.
I don't know that it is a lovely sentiment. However,
I'd still like to figure out a little gift of
some sort. Oh, what would make a young mother like
yourself happy?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
A young father like mister Boynton always reminds me, Walter,
it's time for me to get down to his laboratory
and pick him up for lunch.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
Oh did he invite you for lunch today?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Of course he did, about ten minutes from now. Not
tell me, Walter. We able to find out what kind
of a gift she's like?
Speaker 7 (06:33):
I couldn't find out a saying, Harriet, but.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
We've got to get her something.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
What's the good of naming miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Are mother away from Mother? If we can't surprise her.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
With somebody she wants. I'm sorry, Harriet, but all she'd
say was that she'd be happy with all her beloved
children around her. And she is kidding. Of course, I
hope she wasn't kidding.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
She met us.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Now, let's see, we'll.
Speaker 11 (06:57):
Organize a committee to pick out a gift and give
it to miss great Harriet.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
Then tonight will officially become Mother away from Mother's Day night.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Now that we're finished with lunch, Miss Brooks, I I've
got a surprise for you.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Surprise What is it, mister Barton, I guess you're picking
up both checks. No, I'm picking up both checks.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
No, then I give up, Miss Brooks. I want you
to meet my folks.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh, mister Barton, you've only known me for five years.
This is so sudden.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I just found out they were coming to town myself.
You see. They usually spend Mother's Day with my married brother,
but mom decided that this year it's my turn to
do what.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Oh, you're trying to spend Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
That's right. You'll love my mother, Miss Brooks. She used
to be a school teacher too, you know. As a
matter of fact, she worked herself up until she was
a principal.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
You've got to get pretty worked up to be a principal. Oh,
I'm unsure we'll get along splendidly.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
And you'll be crazy about my dad. Oh, what his
sense of humor he's got. He's the one who told
me to joke about the quiz master who called out,
I've got a lady doctor. But before he could ask
her any questions, he stuck a thermometer in his mouth
and took his poat.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Isn't that his scream?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Your father? Sounds like more fun than a barrel of nothing?
May I ask you a rather personal question about your folks.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh, certainly, miss Books. What is it?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
How long did they go around together before they were married?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Nine years?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I'll plead in long engagements in those days, I guess.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Oh, they weren't engaged until six weeks before the wedding.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Six weeks.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Once Dad makes up his mind about something he's greasedlightly.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
He's could have used a little griefing the first eight years. Yeah,
certainly be looking forward to seeing them misappointments. When don't
they arrive in.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Town this afternoon, is Brooks, I'll have to check them
into a hotel for the weekend. I've just got a
small bachelor apartment.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Yes, I know you've told me about it. Maybe your
folks you'd like to drop over to my place tonight.
I'm sure my landlady, missus Davis wouldn't mind my dust
in the living room a little.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Oh, it's just fine with me and Miss Brooks. I'll
get my folks a chance to rest up and the
cliff and have some dinner before they before they meet
the girl about whom I've or they've heard so much.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Mister b you mean you actually wrote to your folks
about it?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
And how miss Brooks. I've written them many times about
how gay and youthful and exuberant you are.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I am you. I mean, you have.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Gone right. I remember in one of my most recent
letters to them, I said you were more like a
pupil than a teacher. In fact, I think that was
a letter in which I described you as a great, big,
overgrown kid.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Maybe i'd better take something.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
You should have seen the answer I got from Dad.
He said, whatever you do, son.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Don't rob the cradle.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Leave it to dead.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Oh, here's jesting, of course, he loves youngsters.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Mister Barney, you've given me an idea.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
What kind of an idea? Mis books, If.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Your father turns me down when I ask him for
your hand, maybe he'll adopt.
Speaker 9 (10:25):
Me and you.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Arden will continue in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But first, here is Verne Smith.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Here's wonderful news, ladies, wonderful wonderful news. Now there's something
frillingly new in toarm Olly's famous beauty lather. Yes, something
frillingly new. Pa Molly's famous beauty lather now brings you
a new fragrance.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
You charm, you allure.
Speaker 10 (10:55):
Millions of women will prefer beauty ladder par Molly's over
all other leading toilets the minute they try us for
Palmali's solf. Same as Beauty Ladder now has a new
clean flower fresh fragrance for new allure, new chard so.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Ladies, forget all other beauty care and use Palmaly soap
the way doctors advise.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
For a lovelier.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Complexion, Just stop improper cleansing and instead wash your face
with Palmaly soap three times a day, massaging Palmali's wonderful
beauty lather onto your skin for sixty seconds each time
to get its full beautifying effect.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Then rise.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's all All types of skins, young, older, oily respond
to it quickly. Don't wait another day to try Palmaly's
Beauty Ladder. You'll be thrilled by its new fragrance. You charm,
you allure, thrilled again by the fresher, brighter complexion doctors
proved may soon be yours For.
Speaker 10 (11:47):
New loviness all over, use big bath size Parmaley in
tabo shower.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Well. I hurried home right after school and put mister
Conqulin's gift to his wife on my dresser, and I
started to make myself on the house as presentable as possible.
Before mister Boynton's parents came over that evening. First of all,
I shampooed my hair and set it in pin curls.
Then I put on an old, oversized house dress, which
I borrowed from Missus Davis. This intriguing combination achieved the
(12:21):
happy effect of making me look like a pack rack
drowning in a quantcert hug. Then I went into the
living room to get things in order. When I got there,
Missus Davis had just finished vacuuming.
Speaker 11 (12:33):
Oh, Connie, will you pull the plug out for me?
My Beck's been bothering me lately.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh, certainly, Missus Davis. There. Hey, this vacuum cleaner's pretty old,
isn't it?
Speaker 11 (12:44):
Yes, indeed, but he's held up remarkably well. I bought
it in nineteen thirty two.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Nineteen thirty two.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes, this hoover.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Came in and the other one went out.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
I'll just how the place looks nice and neat for
to night. You know, I've never met mister Briton's parents before.
Speaker 11 (13:03):
I know you haven't, Connie, And first impressions are so important.
That's why I sent our sofa and all the chairs
out to be recovered.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
What every chair in.
Speaker 11 (13:14):
The house is that the upholster is Connie. But don't worry,
Stretch Snodgrass took them down for me, and he promised
to bring them back by six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Stretch Snodgrass. Look, Missus Davis, Stretch may be a fine athlete,
but when it comes to mentality, he's strictly a third strike.
Why he's liable to forget where he took the chairs?
Speaker 11 (13:30):
Oh, I don't think so, Connie. You know how absent
minded I am, And even I couldn't.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Forget the name of this upholsterers.
Speaker 11 (13:37):
Why not because he has a very odd name.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
What is what.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
The name?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Who's name?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
The upholsterer?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Upholster?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yes, look, missus Davis, the sofa and all our chairs
are being recovered today.
Speaker 11 (13:58):
Well, they can certainly use it. Where did you send them?
Speaker 9 (14:04):
Connie Fellow with a very odd name.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I never can remember it.
Speaker 11 (14:11):
I'm sure it'll come back to you later. Now you'll
excuse me. I've got to get out in there and
look for our cat Minerva.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Is she missing? Against mm hmm.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
She had a date this morning, a date, Yes, I
heard your making it last night.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But she should be back.
Speaker 11 (14:28):
Fin now She knows how I worry about her. Well,
you let me know. She comes in the frontway, Connie,
and I'll take.
Speaker 10 (14:34):
A look back.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
You all right, Missus Davis. That's funny. The Nerva never bothered.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
To ring before.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
How do you do, my dear, how do you do?
Speaker 9 (14:47):
I'm Philip's mother, Philip, Yes, Philip Boyton, I'm Missus Boynton.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
But that's impossible. You won't be here till tonight. Oh,
I come in, Missus Boynon.
Speaker 9 (14:58):
You don't have to tell me who you are. Philip
has written so much about you. Yes, he says, Miss
Brooks wouldn't know what to do without you. Missus Davis,
Missus Davis, Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Honey, that's Missus Davis, Missus Boyton. I'm Missus Brooks, such
as I am. We've got company, Missus Davis.
Speaker 11 (15:17):
Or she came into play.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
She yeah, she's right here in the living room.
Speaker 11 (15:23):
She's a wicked cat.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
And put her under the p.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yes, Missus Davis, you're a wicked cat, and get under
the Oh no, oh, you'll have to forgive me, Missus Boynton.
I didn't expect you until after dinner.
Speaker 9 (15:37):
Well, that's perfectly all right, miss Brooks, as a matter
of fact, I owe you an apology for not recognizing you.
But it was rather dem in here.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Not dim enough. But where's mister Boynton or should I
say where are mister Boyton or mister Boyton?
Speaker 9 (15:57):
Well, they had a little trouble parking the car, and
I wanted me to myself first. Anyway, Philip's written so
much about you, you must see an awful lot of
each other. Well, we do teach at the same school.
I understand you were a teacher at one time, Missus Varney. Yes,
indeed for many years.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
It's remarkable you still let's go, well, said are you?
Speaker 9 (16:20):
Oh it's the boys, Hello.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Philip, my dear, Hello mom, Well I see you too,
have mad.
Speaker 9 (16:25):
Yes, indeed they're old friends.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
By now, well, here's he is?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Dad is slippy pied, My dear, fibe, what old fingers?
How do you do, mister Barney?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I do pretty well for an old CORDU old coda.
It card you that time, den I.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I've told you what I sensed a humor.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
He had stuff all right.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
If Phill's written its all about you, my dear, I
hear you're just like a mother to miss Rolks. Missus David.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
This house stress has got to go.
Speaker 11 (17:01):
This isn't missus Davis Harvey.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
It is, of course not Dad. This is missus Brooks.
Why are we all standing out here in the hall.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, let's all go in and stand in the living room.
Well here we are now, then, Missus Boynton, if you
just come over to this land, that's a very comfortable
place to stand stand over there by the piano.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I don't understand, Miss Brooks, were all the chairs.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
They're out being recovered. I didn't expect you for hours yet,
mister Boyne, this is a terrible thing to do to anybody.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
I'm sorry, Miss Books, but it couldn't be helped us either.
It was the convention in town. I couldn't get the
folks accommodations anywhere. You know how big my room is,
and well, I wondered if you and missus Davis could
put the folks up for the weekend.
Speaker 9 (17:44):
I some I'm surprised that you. You know better than
to whisper in front of others.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
No, I'm sorry, mother, I was just explaining our predicament
to Miss Brooks. She was saying how delighted she'd be
to have you stayed for a couple of days. Will.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Now that's what I call whopping hospitality.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
It's all right.
Speaker 11 (18:02):
I think you give me a hand of the guardage, Tony.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I just can't. Oh, I think your This is mister
and missus Boyton, and this contrary to popular opinion, as
Missus Davis, how.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Do you do this?
Speaker 9 (18:14):
Hello, Missus Davis.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
A good afternoon, Missus d nice little place you've got it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
I just invited the folks to spend the weekend with us.
Missus Davis, if you don't mind my doubling up with you.
I figured they could have my room.
Speaker 11 (18:25):
That's perfectly all right. Oh, dear the upholster. You folks
must be tired after your trip. Why don't you go
to bed?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
It's only falters in the afternoon.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Oh, Missus Davis is only kidding Missus Barton. She's got
quite a sense of humor too.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Just remember one saying, Missus Davis, you can't kid a
kidder kiddle.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
As we get off some cracks, Missus Davis. Yeah, he's
a jim dandy.
Speaker 9 (19:03):
Now it's you folks.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
She'll just follow me.
Speaker 11 (19:05):
I'll show you to your room, A rabbit's Brookie's room.
Speaker 9 (19:08):
Well I could do with a bit of freshening up
at this.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh nonsense, mother, you're his fresh is today?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I got you?
Speaker 8 (19:18):
Cut it out there, yeah, cut.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It out there?
Speaker 9 (19:26):
How his soft? I don't know how he's get some
of his ideas. He's terribly original, don't you think, miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Oh a second oscar hammer? Sign missus Barney. Or to
put it another way, the corn is as high as
the elephant hide.
Speaker 9 (19:48):
Well, miss Brooks certainly has a comfortable room.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Hovey is.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Indeed, that's showing a little cat naps just what the
doctor ordered.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Tell me, howey, what do you think of miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Hell, it's hard to tell that. I'll pit your head on.
But once she the hair and climbs out of that
duney sack, I'll bet she's a looker.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Yes, but what is she looking for?
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Now, mother, you think that every girl who meets him
immediately sets her.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Cap for Philip?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Hey puts his package undress. It here says for mother.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Must be for you.
Speaker 9 (20:16):
Oh wasn't that thoughtful of miss Brooks? She got a
Mother's Day gift on it when she said I was coming.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I'm going to open it right now. Oh but Mother's Day,
isn't it till send.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You know I never have the patience to wait.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Why what's this?
Speaker 9 (20:32):
A black sheer negligent?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Well, laughy Mother's day.
Speaker 7 (20:39):
For me?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Look, his card fell out when you opened the package.
It says for baby from her Goodies.
Speaker 9 (20:49):
So it belongs to miss Brook faby.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
You don't think that's still up woo?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Certainly not.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
You wouldn't have nerve enough as for that in the door.
Speaker 9 (20:57):
Well, I'm gonna find out just where this came from. Oh,
miss Brook, Yes, would looking here a moment?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Please?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Miss What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well?
Speaker 9 (21:07):
I opened the package from mistake and found this inside
of it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
A black sheer neghlage.
Speaker 9 (21:14):
It was a card with it that said Bob Baby
from Hoodie Goodie.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Oh that must be short for us good Why? Of
course that was mister Conklin's gear, Miss.
Speaker 9 (21:24):
Coplin, the principal of Madison High.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yes, isn't he a devil?
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
To keep it for him so his wife wouldn't discover
it before Mother's Day. Oh, it's for his wife. Yes,
who did you think it was for? Don't answer that.
I can tell from the position of your eyebrows. My eyebrows, Yes,
missus Vardon. You better drop them a notch. You're pushing
back your hairnet.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
It certainly was nice of you to invite us out
at dinner, Missus p Is.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Indeed, it's delicious to.
Speaker 11 (22:02):
Thank you both have you, But missus Brooks is the
one who deserves the credit.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
She prepared it all.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh, come now, missus Davis, you opened every bit as
much as I did.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Beef se isn't it?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
There's beef represented in us. Yes, he hits slowly.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yes, mother, they say your stomach has no teeth, but
maybe it's just as well if it got too hungry.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
It's too off your suspender button. He always gets me
when I've got a mouth.
Speaker 9 (22:38):
Will he's such a baby.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
There's nothing but a great, big, overgrown kid.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
That's funny.
Speaker 9 (22:46):
That's the same phrase as Philippus and describing you in
one of his letters.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Well she is mother. You ought to see her around
the school where the students just treat it like one
of themselves.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Oh, yes, indeed we kids have some great old times together.
Oh I'm glad.
Speaker 9 (22:59):
I like to to have lots of youthful friends. The
younger the better.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Well, they don't come much younger or better than Miss
Brooks's mother. Well, thank you, mister b call me Philip tonight.
Speaker 9 (23:13):
Excuse me, folks, I wonder who that could be.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Don't tell me.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Who is it, Missus Davis.
Speaker 7 (23:25):
Oh, we didn't mean to disturb you.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Oh that's all right, Walter. I was just telling the
folks how informal we are at Madison. Mister Missus Boynton.
They I present Walter Denon and Harriet Conquer.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
And now Miss Brooks, we would like to present something
to you that expresses the devotion and reverence fell towards
you by the entire student body.
Speaker 9 (23:47):
What is it, Walter?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
It's a shawl, A shawl and a handsome pair of
knitting needles to go with a rocking shirt to which
you're so attached. But that finished, Missus Poynton.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Ms Brooks, you have.
Speaker 7 (24:01):
Been chosen our mother away from mother.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh no, I'll go the pian of water and you've
seen the song we've written.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Okay, Harriet plady to hear this, folks.
Speaker 12 (24:17):
The B stands for the books she held such study.
The R is for she's righteous, also pure, for the
fact that she's our buddy. The second, oh is likewise,
(24:39):
I am sure.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
The ka is for okay, she rates avow. The S
is for her sadly wrinkled brow.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
She's motherly just like else.
Speaker 9 (25:00):
See the cow.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
We love you, dearly, Miss brook sat Me, I'll always
be Smiths.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
Froward bous Books returns and dust the moment.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
But first, dream Girl, green Girl, Beautiful luster cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look
after a luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Only.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Luster cream brings you k Dooma's magic formula. Blend of
secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin gives loveliness, lather even in
hardest water.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Glamorizes your hair as you wash it.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Luster Cream not a salt, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Lead's hair fragrantly clean.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Free of loose sandriuf, glistening with sheens saw manageable. Gives
new beauty to all hairdoos or permanence. Four ounce jar,
one dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars. Tonight, try
luster Cream shampoo.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And be a dream girl, dream girl, Beautiful luster cream Girl.
You your clowning gloriot woo a luster cream shampoo and
now once again here is our Miss Books.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Several days later, Friday night came to an end. As
I escorted mister Boyne to the front door. He was
in a strangely mellow mood enomous books.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I'm a man of many dreams, but more often than that,
I find I'm shooting too high.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Shooting too high, mister Boydan.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Well, yes, in trying to find the right girl, for instance,
it seems that subconsciously I'm always looking for a girl
who's just like my mother, attractive yet sweet, non selfish.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Well, don't give up the search, mister Boynan. Someday you're
liable to find such a girl right under your nose,
and I think that's a very nice location.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
What I mean is, when you gave up your room
for mother, I suddenly realized that you're not only attractive,
but also sweet and nonselfish. So miss Books, instead of
just shaking hands like we usually do, yes, mister go
I'd like to say good night to you the way
I do to my mother, with a kiss.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
A kiss, mister boy.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Yes, on the forehead.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
There you go, shooting too high again.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
The harm is what rock you by?
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Parmade soap?
Speaker 4 (28:03):
You're Gady hooks?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
And what's the cream gamble?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
The soft, glamorous, prescible hair. Our Mixed book starring Eve
Arden is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by
Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch. Mister Boyton is
played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conston by Gail Gordon. Others
in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Clenna, Lauria macmillan,
Fak Nelson and.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Myra marsh.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Wow, ma'am, do you shave with the latter or brushless
shaved cream? Parmalad shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever
way you prefer the shave, you'll find that using Parmelid
brushless or Parmala lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves. Here's the poof twenty five hundred and
forty eight men tried the new Parmalad waiter shave described
(28:48):
on the tube, and no matter how they had shaved before,
three out of every four got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves.
Jeth Parmalad gushless or Parmalad lather shape in Queens Today's.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
For Mystery literally.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Sprinkled with laughs.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Listen to Mystery and Missus Morse the exciting, fun fact
adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Tune infused the evenings over most of these.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Same stations, and be with us again next week at
the same time for another comedy episode of our.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Miss Brooks bab Leaman speaking.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Stay tuned now for Life with Luigi, which follows.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Immediately over most of these stations.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
This is CBS de Columbia Broadcasting
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.