August 11, 2025 • 29 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Dive into "Daily Our Miss Brooks," where each podcast episode brings you a slice of life from the iconic radio character, Miss Brooks. Experience her daily escapades in teaching, alongside lively interactions with students and faculty, all infused with the wit and charm that made the original series a hit. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the series, this podcast is your go-to for a daily laugh rooted in classic entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm Alive, SOLFI your beauty Hope and Luster Cream shampoo
for soft, glamorous green girl hair. Bring you Our Miss
Brooks starring Eve Arden. Our Miss Brooks teaches English at
Madison High School. She's very fond of her pupils, and
(00:21):
they're very fond of her.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
She's also very fond.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Of biology teacher Philip Boynton, and he's very fond of
his frogs and guinea pigs. This absorption in his laboratory
is largely due to mister Boynton's natural shyness. Well that
is to say that he's shy in the world of reality,
but in the dreams of our Miss Brooks, Philip Boynton
is every bit as ardent and attentive as any woman
(00:47):
could desire.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Let's listen, Oh, my darling, Constance. He's so lovely, so desirable.
I feel I could fly on the wings of our love.
Won't you join me, Constance on a flight to paradise
contact I must pause for a moment, my darling.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
You know why the station identification.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I want to look at you again before I kiss you.
If you notice anything strange in my eyes, dearest, it's
star dust.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Well sweep it under your lids. Then let's get going.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Why isn't it wonderful, Connie? Just you and I alone
in our dream house.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes, it is Philip, And if anyone comes calling, we'll
refuse to answer the doorbell. Sorry, wrong number. Oh oh okay,
alarm clock in quiet. If I could have slept a
few more minutes that dream, I'd have gotten the Academy award.
(01:49):
Come in. Good morning, Connie, Good morning, missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I've brought you a little breakfast tree.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I hope you liked the surprise recip Another surprise recipe.
I'm still trying to get used to the last one.
Why Chris boiled in breadcrumbs?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Oh, this isn't anything like that, Collie. This is a
famous Alaskan dish. Want to know what it consists of?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
No?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
What, It's very simple.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
You just take a pound of frozen whale meat, thaw
it out, throw in the patties, and fry in deep
seal fat.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
What do you call this Eskimo's delight, Blubberbergie.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Yes, of course not everyone can enjoy them at first eating.
How do you stand on the whale meat, Connie.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
I really don't know, Missus Davis. I've never stood on
any It was nice of you to bring a tray
into my room, Missus Davis, but I'd rather have breakfast
out here in the dinette with you.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
Oh thank you, Connie. But you have had a thing
but a glass of milk.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I know you can't fry that. That is, I didn't
feel very hungry. Oh that's too dead. Today, of all days,
what's so special about today, don't you know? Let's see. Oh,
certainly yesterday was payday, so today must be rent day?
What do I owe you, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
I'm not worried about the rent, Connie, although I could
use a small load.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
How much will have? Five dollars would do nicely?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
It's for a donation, I promised the ailing newsboys.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Sound all right, Missus Davis, I can let you have
five dollars. You sure you won't miss it?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Now?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I won't miss it. The people I owe the payment
on my car might miss it, but I'll take care
of that later. I've had my eye on a bag
in Justin's department store, and I've decided to throw caution
to the winds and buy it this afternoon.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
The one you've told me about green Arrogator skin.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
That's the one. Of course, I'll have to postpone a
lot of my time payments, the car, my coat, the
watch I bought for mister Boynton. But it's worth it.
Wait do you see that bag? Missus Davis?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
But what about your creditors?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
What do you tell them? I'll write them all polite
letters letters.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
What do you say?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Oh, I'll think of something. I'm an English teacher, ain't
I I mean? Aren't I am? I not?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You certainly must have your heart set on that day.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Oh I have. Do you think mister Boyne will like it?
He likes frogs and lizards and things.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
In this alligator bag ought to be right up his alley.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Lucky alligator bag to be up in an alley with
mister Boyne. Oh, that must be Walter Demon. He's giving
me a lift of school. I'll be there in a minute, Walter.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
He's your car in the repair shop again, Connie.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yes, the garage says, they just have to get one
more part to the car before I can drive it again.
What part is there? A motor? Hello, Walter, come in, thanks,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
I just came in to tell you to be sure
and bring a coat with you this morning. It's cold
in a school teacher's heart out, I mean some school
teacher's hearts. Miss Brooks, you're a warm one, thanks, Walter.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
You can butter me up on the way to school.
I'll go get a code. I'll just be a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Did someone let that cat in again?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
His name missus? David? Oh, Walter, I'm glad you came in.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
We've got to make arrangements for the surprise party so.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
She know it's her birthday.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
No, just like last year, she's forgotten about it completely.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Well, and the.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
Party will go over that much bigger. Did you find
out what she wants?
Speaker 7 (05:34):
She is?
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I did, Walter. It's a green bag ingestine. But she's
threatened to buy it for herself.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Oh that's no good, I know. So I thought of
this scheme.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
If we all borrow some money from her, she won't
be able to buy it, then we can give.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
It to her for a present.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I'll call the confidence and tell then to be sure
and borrow something from miss Brooks when she gets to school.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Good.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
She's so soft hard it she'll never turn anybody down
as long as there's.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
A hard luck story with it.
Speaker 8 (06:03):
And I'll put the bite on her. And I mean
I'll borrow something on our way to school.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Oh she comes, I'll go back into the kitchen. I
don't want her to think we didn't constirling opekay, missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well, that wasn't put your long wad, was it?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Walter?
Speaker 6 (06:16):
Oh not at all, Miss Brooks. Gosh, that's a nice coat.
Or when did you buy that.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Within the next eighteen months? That's Harry Walter. I couldn't
touch a morsel of missus Davis's breakfast. I'd like to
get a bite on our way.
Speaker 8 (06:29):
Don't worry if you will.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Our Miss Brooks will continue in just a moment. But first,
here is Verne Smith with an important announcement. Palm Alli
Soap is giving away prize is worth sixty seven thousand
dollars a grand prize of twenty five thousand dollars in
one lump sum or one hundred dollars a month for life.
And that's not all. There are over two thousand prizes
in palm Olive's Big Pressure Chest contest. Fordsed End Westinghouse, laundromats,
(07:02):
from Silver Fox scarves, Hostmaster toasters, and.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
It's easy to enter. Complete the last line of.
Speaker 9 (07:08):
This jingle, A fresher brighter looking skin is something I
would like to win. I'll get palm Olive soap today.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
To do to dot to dot to.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
D write your last line on a plain sheet of paper,
or use an official entry blank giving complete rules obtainable
at your dealer's include your own and dealer's name and address,
and mail with the big word Pamlive from the front
of the wrapper of one regular and one batsized cake
of Pamalive soap to Pomaliv Box ninety.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Two, New York, eight, New York. Now here's the jingle
once more.
Speaker 9 (07:38):
A fresher, brighter looking skin is something I would like
to win. I'll get palm Olive soap today. Do dot
to dot to dot tod mail your.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Entry to Pamalive Box ninety two, New York, eight, New York.
Get Pamalive soap for a lovelier complexion. Remember doctors prove
Pomaliv's beauty results.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
I just had a tune up job done in the car,
Miss Brooks, friend's pretty smooth.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
It doesn't it? Yes? It does? Walder, what kind of
a car was this?
Speaker 10 (08:12):
Is this?
Speaker 8 (08:12):
In nineteen thirty eight?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Hudson, Hmmm, certainly held together for the past ten years,
so have you, miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Not that I'm comparing you with a car or anything.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
But well, you're still so youthful.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Nature's treated you extremely well. Why you haven't even got
any crows feet?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Nature probably knows I can't afford shoes for them.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
I don't like to keep bothering you with my personal problems,
miss Brooks, But could I once more?
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Could you once more?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
What Walder bother you with a personal problem? It's about
a financial matter?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
What kind of a financial matter? Alone? Are you asking
me or telling me? I'm telling you?
Speaker 8 (08:52):
I mean, I'm telling you I'm broke.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Really, how long have you been a school teacher? I'm serious.
Speaker 6 (09:00):
I've just got to get some money somewhere. It isn't
like it was for myself. I won't even ask if
it was for myself.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Who is it for.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
It's for a friend of mine.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
He's an iceman and his horse fell down the other
day and he's laid up in the barn now. And
my friend hasn't been able to sell any ice.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Oh it's too bad, Walter.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
He doesn't know when the horse will be on his
feet again, and he's just had a baby.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
The horse, No, the iceman I'll like to switch his
white see and they haven't got enough money to buy milk.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
Defeated let alone the other seven children in the family
plus oats.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
It's sad, miss Brooks, sadest thing since Camille. How much
do you want to borrow?
Speaker 11 (09:41):
Walter?
Speaker 8 (09:42):
Five dollars A help a lot?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Okay, here you are? Gosh? Thanks?
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Are you sure you won't miss it?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
No, I won't miss it, Walter. The people who sold
me this coat may miss it, but I'll take care
of that later.
Speaker 8 (09:53):
Thanks again.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
You don't know what this money you'll do for these people,
and you'll get it back just as soon as my
friend's foot here, your friend's foot.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
I thought it was the horse who fell. The horse?
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Oh sure, but didn't I tell you when the horse fell,
my friend tried to lift him up and sprained his
own ankle.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Between his sick horse, sprained ankle and having a baby,
your friend is the busiest ice man I ever knew.
I all right near school.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Oh gosh, I got so wound up talking about my
poor friend. I forgot to stop and let you get
some breakfast.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well after that, Storry, Walter, I'd feel guilty eating anything,
but hey, I'll have an early lunch in the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (10:35):
How, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Well, here we are, thanks, Walter. Say, isn't that Harriet
Conklin going up the steps? Yeah? That's Harriet. Oh, you
better hurry.
Speaker 8 (10:46):
She's anxious to talk to you.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
How can you tell from the back of her neck
I'm psychic about some things.
Speaker 8 (10:52):
Go ahead, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
All right, Walter, see you later. Good morning, Harry.
Speaker 12 (10:57):
Oh, good morning, Miss brook I'm so glad we bumped
into each other before school starts.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I've been very anxious to talk to you. Walter is
psychic at that, among other things. What did you want
to talk to me about?
Speaker 12 (11:08):
Well, it's rather embarrassing, Not that you're hard to talk
to or anything, but golly, ike, just don't know how
to say it.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Now that we're face to face. Well, we'd look pretty
silly chatting back to back.
Speaker 12 (11:21):
What seems to be the trouble, Well, it's really not
my trouble, miss Brooks. It's just that I've got to
get some financial assistance for a friend in need.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
What friend, Harriet, Well, it's a little boy.
Speaker 11 (11:31):
I know.
Speaker 12 (11:32):
He comes from a very poor family, and in order
to help his folks, he shines shoes after school. Now
he's got a little dog that helped him get his
business started.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
What did he do put up the money?
Speaker 12 (11:45):
I know, miss Brooks, he used to do tricks and
track customers. But just the other day fell down and
hurt his foot. Now the poor little dog can't even
get downtown anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Well, I can get him a lift downtown if he
doesn't mind riding on a lame horse. I don't understand.
I don't either, But how much do you want to borrow? Well,
right after he was.
Speaker 12 (12:05):
Hurt, they took the little dog to a hospital and
the bill there was eight dollars.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
You must have had a semi private room. Well here's
the eight dollars, Harriet. Oh, thank you, miss Brooks. You're
sure you won't miss it. No, I won't miss it.
The people I owe the payment on my watch might
miss it, but I'll take care of that later. Anyway,
I still have enough left to pick up that bag
at Justin's this afternoon.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Oh I mean what bag? A green alligator job that
I've had my eye on for weeks. Oh well, before
you go to your room, Daddy would like you to
stop in at his office. Oh what have I done?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Now?
Speaker 12 (12:38):
Why should you think you've done something, Miss Brooks. Golly,
just because daddy's a principal. There's no reason for anybody'd
be afraid of him.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
No, maybe a right, Harriet, good morning. See you later,
Miss brook By Harrid.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
When you step into my office a moment, Miss Brooks, certainly,
mister Conklin, at ease have a chair, Yes, sir, as
you know, I was a major in the last War,
spent almost four years in charge of the post exchange
at Camp Bubrick.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Ohio.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Scouts fella.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yes, although I've been returned to the arms of my
loved ones for over two years now, I opened my
last box of hershes in forty six, I must confess
there are aspects of military life which fair remembering, such
as the camaraderie esprie decorps.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Don't you agree, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
We montcapitown.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You've been teaching at Madison High for over five years,
haven't you.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
That's right, mister Conklin. And in that time I've had
a lot of his strie decorps, but very few raises.
I think the last one was let's.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Not talk shop, Miss Brooks. I realized that you haven't
had a raise in some time. But after all, it's
a universal complaint these days, and one which can't be remedied. O. Meanwhile,
you get by very nicely on the money earned, don't you.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Well, speaking frankly, that's.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
The only way to speak, miss brook Now, if you
don't mind, I'll come to the point. I've got to
have some financial assistance for a friend of mine in distress.
Another one, this poor chap was one of my gi
assistants during the war, just a corporal, but I recommended
him for a War Department citation. Really, yes, you never
saw anyone fill a coke machine.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Like this lamb.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
As for stacking Kleenex boxes. Ah, Well, after the war
he got married and started to raise a family. That
was three years ago. But luck didn't favor this boy.
He lost one job after another. Things went from bad
to worse.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
You mean he became a teacher.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No laughing matters, Brooks. He's just written me that.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
His wife is going to have another baby. Therefore, in
three years.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
There's a set of twins.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
In any event, he's desperate. He can't even afford a
hospital room for his wife.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Well, I know where there's a semi private room if
she doesn't mind dogs. I mean, how much would you
like to borrow? Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I've asked many of my friends for five or
ten dollars.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I see, well, I get, But you're.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Such an old friend, Miss Brooks, I feel that I
can ask you for fifteen.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Before our friendship gets any older. Here's the fifteen.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Dollars I would like, Miss Brooks. You're sure you won't
miss it.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
No, I won't miss it. The people I owe apair
bill on my car might miss it, but I'll take
care of that later.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Very well, that'll be all in dismissed.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I excuse me, Miss Brooks, but at this table with you,
the school cafeteria is pretty crowded today.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Oh sit down, mister Boynton. You'll forgive me if I
go ahead with my lunch. Of course, I want to
eat this salad while it's still warm.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
There's something i'd like to talk to you about.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Yes, mister Boyton, I've heard from.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Many people how generous and warm hearted you are under
your veneer of seeming sophistication.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Of course, I've.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Always known that you're true glue, one hundred percent human being,
deep down below the surface.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Why, mister Boynton, you've been peeking at my x rays.
I'm serious.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I know that I can appeal to you for assistance
without fear of embarrassment. And I know when you hear
my story you'll want a help it to Boynton.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Well, what's your story?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Well, I have this friend who's also a biologist from
a poor family. No, no, his family's very wealthy as
a matter of fact.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
But he's married and has seven children and one on
the way. No, he's a single chap, but he's got
a bad sickness.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Oh no, he's in the pink of condition.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh wait a minute, die Now, his little puppy broke
its leg.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Oh he hasn't any puppy, but it's great danger.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Just want a blue ribbon? Wrong again? But give that
lady a box of red Heart and two tickets to
next week's flea circus. Look, mister Gordon, I'll bet your
friend's horse is so lame you can't even ride him
to word.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
My friend drives a Cadillac.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
If you'll just let me finish it, I'll be.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
As brief as possible.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
You see, he's leaving town.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
He's got about thirty white mice and frogs that he
wants to give me.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Oh, so that's it. They're sick and not at all.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
They're wonderful specimens, but they're orphans. Please, Miss Brooks. What
I'm trying to tell you is that i'll need about
twenty dollars for the added equipment it'll require to house them.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Oh well, why didn't you say so? Here, mister Boyden,
here's eighteen dollars. It's all I have left. Let a
couple of the mice double up.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I certainly appreciate this, But are you sure you won't
miss it?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
No, I won't miss it. The people I owe the
payments on my car, watch and code might miss it,
but I'll take care of that later. There's only one
thing that's not going to be put off, mister Boynton.
Oh what's that? A green alligator bag. I've got my
deep down underneath a little warm heart set on. My
first stop after school will be the nearest bank that
lends money.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
All right, all right, attention quietly see now then, Harriet,
it was your idea to have this surprise party for
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Suppose you outlined the plant, all right?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Daddy?
Speaker 12 (18:35):
First of all, did we all borrow enough for Miss
Brooks to keep her from getting that bag.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
She won missus Davis and I took five dollars each
from her.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I nailed her for a that is, I appropriated fifteen
and she loaned me eighteen dollars.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Good for you, mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I'm afraid it's not good enough, mister Counton. She told
me at lunch she was going to the bank and
borrow the money for the bag.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Oh golly, that'll spoil everything I know.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Why don't we call the store and tell them, under
no circumstances to sell her that bag.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Tell them we're buying excellent Walter. It's a wonder that
that agile mind of yours doesn't function quite so efficaciously
in the school room.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Ash.
Speaker 8 (19:14):
Thanks, mister Connachlin.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
You can.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
I'll run down to the store, pick up the bag,
and take it home. Now, who'll get miss Brooks and
bring her over to our house. I will.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I'll call for it at about five o'clock and bring
her over to your house at six.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Fine, Now, synchronize watches, everybody.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Let's say, confidential loan department. This is it. Pardon me,
I've read your ads, but I'd still like to be
assured that any business we transact will be strictly confidential.
You may be quite certain of that, Miss I said.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
We treat all our sactions with the utmost secrecy.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Well, you're gonna let me in on it? Like to
borrow about thirty five dollars? Yes, ma'am. What is your
occupation please? I'm a school teacher. How long have you
been teaching? And at what school? Please? Five years at
Madison Hawg. How do you sound when you've got lauringitis?
(20:24):
Very comical?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
You write your name and address down and I'll get
you the money.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Is that all there is to it?
Speaker 11 (20:32):
Yes, we don't.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Believe in a lot of red tape. All you have
to do is sign a few papers. First here, yes,
ow here right now? This one there you are?
Speaker 11 (20:43):
Ow here here again and this one.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Now we'll start on the second page.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Here and here and here and here and here here?
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Can I help you? Madam? It's miss miss Brooks. I'd
like to see an item your department has been featuring
in your window display. What item is that, Miss Brooks?
It's a green alligator? What a green alligator? I've seen
it in your window every day for weeks now. Have
you ever heard of alcoholics? Anonymous? Do you mean to
(21:32):
tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Oh
not at all, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (21:36):
You know you don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Don't you? Or do you? Of course I do. Let's
start all over again. There's a purse made of green
alligator skin that's been in your window. O that thing?
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Oh you wouldn't want to own that?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
Why it wouldn't do a thing for you. It wouldn't
have to. I've got a job. May I see at least.
Speaker 12 (22:01):
A funny thing about that model?
Speaker 8 (22:02):
I saw the last one not a half hour ago.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
To miss h Conklin, I believe, Well, couldn't you get
one just like it? If I h Conklin. That's Harriet,
by that little demon. Maybe if I get her another bag,
she'll trade me the green one. Now she wears a
lot of green. Besides, she has alligator shoes too. Well,
I might as well go over to her house and
see what I can do.
Speaker 7 (22:24):
Anyway, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your monologue, but
h Conston.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Won't be home for a while.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
She says she had a lot of shopping to do,
and then she's going to get a manicure at Antwine's.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Well I'll go to our house and wait. Thank you
and good day.
Speaker 11 (22:41):
J Edgar Hoovering.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Hello, missus Conklin. Is Harriet at home?
Speaker 10 (22:57):
Why no, Miss Brooks, she's out doing some last minute shopping.
Miss Brooks. Isn't it terribly early? I mean, with the
day is getting shorter all the time. It seems like
about five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
It is five o'clock. May I come in, missus Conko
of course?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Who is a mother?
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It's you, Miss Brooks. Hello, mister Conkent Martha.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Did Harriet get back with miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Early?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I mean, it only seems like five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Five one.
Speaker 10 (23:27):
Here in the living room a minute, Miss Brooks. I
was good.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
I like to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yes, will you excuse us police, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Surely, I don't know what I wonder if they've had
a confidential loan lately. I'll be right there.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Hello, Walter, Oh, missus Conklin, I got all this stuff,
funny hats, noisemakers, confettian streamers. Hell, come on in the
living room and we'll start decorating the place.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
But Walter, look who's here? Water Miamus Brooks.
Speaker 6 (24:01):
Ye, Walter, Now we'll take the streamers, and we'll start
in this corner of the room and we'll Brooks.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
When you hear the tone, the time will be five two.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
This one's on me.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Hello, mister Cochlan, I was just over at missus Davis's house.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But you say no, say't no, mal Biden, come into
the living room.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Hello, mister Boyn, Hello Missus Cochlan Water, Hello mister Hello,
missus Chris Brooks. As I started to say, mister Cockle,
I went over to missus Davis is to pick up
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
But this Brooks. I know I'm terribly early, but I
wish I knew for what.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
Must be Harriet, Hello, dear missus Davis, come.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
In, won't you. I got the bag mother and I
had a gift wrapped. Oh it looks just super. I
brought the cake. Martha Ben he know everybody. Hello, Missus Davis, Harriet, Hello,
Miss brook Well, there's nothing else that we can do now.
But wait, the company, says Miss Brooks once more. I'm
going to change my name to Lucy pumper Nichols.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag. Now.
We might as well tell you, miss Brooks, this little
gathering is in honor of your birthday, My birthday.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
How do you like that? I forgot it again?
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Miss Brooks has a token of our esteem and affection.
May we present you with this little gift?
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Go on, miss brook open it.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
We gift you something you wanted for the longtime.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Colley, Oh, the green alligator bag. So that's why everybody
borrowed money from me today, that's right.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
We didn't want you to get it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Well, this is certainly the nicest present anybody ever bought me,
with or without my money. Oh, we didn't get this
with your money, miss Brooks. Look inside the purse. Oh
what's this? Five ten, twenty? It's all here, that's right,
miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Well, now that we all know it's your birthday, suppose
you tell us how old John.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday,
Armis Groul, Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
E Varden as Armis Brooks returns in just one moment.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
But first, dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Tonight you can see this come true, revealed by a
luster cream shampoo. You'll see your hair lovelier, your wave curls, softer,
more glamorous, easy to do, quickly, even in hardest water.
Luster cream shampoo leads hair three ways, lovelier, fragrantly clean,
easier to mand age, brilliant with sheen. Don't wait tonight.
(27:03):
Use Luster cream shampoo, not a soap, not a liquid,
but a dainty, magical cream. Discover why it's by far
the top favorite cream shampoo. Get the big jar one dollar,
smaller sizes either tubes or jars.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Tonight you can be a.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You owe your crowning glory to all Luster cream champoo.
And now once again, here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
So you see I won't need the thirty five dollars
I borrowed from you people yesterday. Here it is.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Fine, The interest is practically nothing.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Oh that's nice. May I have a receipt? Please? Of course?
Just sign here ye and here yes, and here yes
and here that's true.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Turn into another hour, Miss Brookshaw, dot you buy Armory salt,
your beauty, hope and Uster cream sampoo for soft, glamorous
green girl hair. Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is
produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by al Lewis,
with music by Wilbur had Dentis know what cleans teeth best,
and over four thousand datas say Colgate toothpowder with a
(28:27):
two minute routine gets teeth sparkling and super clean. So
to remove dull film and get your teeth shining clean,
just brush teeth two minutes morning and night with Colgate toothpowder.
Brush inside, outside, and biting surfaces. Always brush away from
the guns. See how quickly this gets teeth naturally bright.
It removes dull film that improper brushing. Missus and Colgate
(28:47):
Toothpowder also sweetens your breath. Try it by Colgate Toothpowder
today for mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to Mister
and Missus North Tune in Tuesday evenings over most of
these same stations, and be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of our
(29:07):
Miss Brooks Bob Lemon speaking for CBS the Columbia Broadcasting
System
I'm Alive, SOLFI your beauty Hope and Luster Cream shampoo
for soft, glamorous green girl hair. Bring you Our Miss
Brooks starring Eve Arden. Our Miss Brooks teaches English at
Madison High School. She's very fond of her pupils, and
(00:21):
they're very fond of her.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
She's also very fond.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Of biology teacher Philip Boynton, and he's very fond of
his frogs and guinea pigs. This absorption in his laboratory
is largely due to mister Boynton's natural shyness. Well that
is to say that he's shy in the world of reality,
but in the dreams of our Miss Brooks, Philip Boynton
is every bit as ardent and attentive as any woman
(00:47):
could desire.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Let's listen, Oh, my darling, Constance. He's so lovely, so desirable.
I feel I could fly on the wings of our love.
Won't you join me, Constance on a flight to paradise
contact I must pause for a moment, my darling.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
You know why the station identification.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I want to look at you again before I kiss you.
If you notice anything strange in my eyes, dearest, it's
star dust.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Well sweep it under your lids. Then let's get going.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Why isn't it wonderful, Connie? Just you and I alone
in our dream house.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes, it is Philip, And if anyone comes calling, we'll
refuse to answer the doorbell. Sorry, wrong number. Oh oh okay,
alarm clock in quiet. If I could have slept a
few more minutes that dream, I'd have gotten the Academy award.
(01:49):
Come in. Good morning, Connie, Good morning, missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I've brought you a little breakfast tree.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I hope you liked the surprise recip Another surprise recipe.
I'm still trying to get used to the last one.
Why Chris boiled in breadcrumbs?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Oh, this isn't anything like that, Collie. This is a
famous Alaskan dish. Want to know what it consists of?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
No?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
What, It's very simple.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
You just take a pound of frozen whale meat, thaw
it out, throw in the patties, and fry in deep
seal fat.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
What do you call this Eskimo's delight, Blubberbergie.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Yes, of course not everyone can enjoy them at first eating.
How do you stand on the whale meat, Connie.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
I really don't know, Missus Davis. I've never stood on
any It was nice of you to bring a tray
into my room, Missus Davis, but I'd rather have breakfast
out here in the dinette with you.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
Oh thank you, Connie. But you have had a thing
but a glass of milk.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I know you can't fry that. That is, I didn't
feel very hungry. Oh that's too dead. Today, of all days,
what's so special about today, don't you know? Let's see. Oh,
certainly yesterday was payday, so today must be rent day?
What do I owe you, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
I'm not worried about the rent, Connie, although I could
use a small load.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
How much will have? Five dollars would do nicely?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
It's for a donation, I promised the ailing newsboys.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Sound all right, Missus Davis, I can let you have
five dollars. You sure you won't miss it?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Now?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I won't miss it. The people I owe the payment
on my car might miss it, but I'll take care
of that later. I've had my eye on a bag
in Justin's department store, and I've decided to throw caution
to the winds and buy it this afternoon.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
The one you've told me about green Arrogator skin.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
That's the one. Of course, I'll have to postpone a
lot of my time payments, the car, my coat, the
watch I bought for mister Boynton. But it's worth it.
Wait do you see that bag? Missus Davis?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
But what about your creditors?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
What do you tell them? I'll write them all polite
letters letters.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
What do you say?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Oh, I'll think of something. I'm an English teacher, ain't
I I mean? Aren't I am? I not?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You certainly must have your heart set on that day.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Oh I have. Do you think mister Boyne will like it?
He likes frogs and lizards and things.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
In this alligator bag ought to be right up his alley.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Lucky alligator bag to be up in an alley with
mister Boyne. Oh, that must be Walter Demon. He's giving
me a lift of school. I'll be there in a minute, Walter.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
He's your car in the repair shop again, Connie.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yes, the garage says, they just have to get one
more part to the car before I can drive it again.
What part is there? A motor? Hello, Walter, come in, thanks,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
I just came in to tell you to be sure
and bring a coat with you this morning. It's cold
in a school teacher's heart out, I mean some school
teacher's hearts. Miss Brooks, you're a warm one, thanks, Walter.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
You can butter me up on the way to school.
I'll go get a code. I'll just be a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Did someone let that cat in again?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
His name missus? David? Oh, Walter, I'm glad you came in.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
We've got to make arrangements for the surprise party so.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
She know it's her birthday.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
No, just like last year, she's forgotten about it completely.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Well, and the.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
Party will go over that much bigger. Did you find
out what she wants?
Speaker 7 (05:34):
She is?
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I did, Walter. It's a green bag ingestine. But she's
threatened to buy it for herself.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Oh that's no good, I know. So I thought of
this scheme.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
If we all borrow some money from her, she won't
be able to buy it, then we can give.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
It to her for a present.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I'll call the confidence and tell then to be sure
and borrow something from miss Brooks when she gets to school.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Good.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
She's so soft hard it she'll never turn anybody down
as long as there's.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
A hard luck story with it.
Speaker 8 (06:03):
And I'll put the bite on her. And I mean
I'll borrow something on our way to school.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Oh she comes, I'll go back into the kitchen. I
don't want her to think we didn't constirling opekay, missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well, that wasn't put your long wad, was it?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Walter?
Speaker 6 (06:16):
Oh not at all, Miss Brooks. Gosh, that's a nice coat.
Or when did you buy that.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Within the next eighteen months? That's Harry Walter. I couldn't
touch a morsel of missus Davis's breakfast. I'd like to
get a bite on our way.
Speaker 8 (06:29):
Don't worry if you will.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Our Miss Brooks will continue in just a moment. But first,
here is Verne Smith with an important announcement. Palm Alli
Soap is giving away prize is worth sixty seven thousand
dollars a grand prize of twenty five thousand dollars in
one lump sum or one hundred dollars a month for life.
And that's not all. There are over two thousand prizes
in palm Olive's Big Pressure Chest contest. Fordsed End Westinghouse, laundromats,
(07:02):
from Silver Fox scarves, Hostmaster toasters, and.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
It's easy to enter. Complete the last line of.
Speaker 9 (07:08):
This jingle, A fresher brighter looking skin is something I
would like to win. I'll get palm Olive soap today.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
To do to dot to dot to.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
D write your last line on a plain sheet of paper,
or use an official entry blank giving complete rules obtainable
at your dealer's include your own and dealer's name and address,
and mail with the big word Pamlive from the front
of the wrapper of one regular and one batsized cake
of Pamalive soap to Pomaliv Box ninety.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Two, New York, eight, New York. Now here's the jingle
once more.
Speaker 9 (07:38):
A fresher, brighter looking skin is something I would like
to win. I'll get palm Olive soap today. Do dot
to dot to dot tod mail your.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Entry to Pamalive Box ninety two, New York, eight, New York.
Get Pamalive soap for a lovelier complexion. Remember doctors prove
Pomaliv's beauty results.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
I just had a tune up job done in the car,
Miss Brooks, friend's pretty smooth.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
It doesn't it? Yes? It does? Walder, what kind of
a car was this?
Speaker 10 (08:12):
Is this?
Speaker 8 (08:12):
In nineteen thirty eight?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Hudson, Hmmm, certainly held together for the past ten years,
so have you, miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Not that I'm comparing you with a car or anything.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
But well, you're still so youthful.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Nature's treated you extremely well. Why you haven't even got
any crows feet?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Nature probably knows I can't afford shoes for them.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
I don't like to keep bothering you with my personal problems,
miss Brooks, But could I once more?
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Could you once more?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
What Walder bother you with a personal problem? It's about
a financial matter?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
What kind of a financial matter? Alone? Are you asking
me or telling me? I'm telling you?
Speaker 8 (08:52):
I mean, I'm telling you I'm broke.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Really, how long have you been a school teacher? I'm serious.
Speaker 6 (09:00):
I've just got to get some money somewhere. It isn't
like it was for myself. I won't even ask if
it was for myself.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Who is it for.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
It's for a friend of mine.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
He's an iceman and his horse fell down the other
day and he's laid up in the barn now. And
my friend hasn't been able to sell any ice.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Oh it's too bad, Walter.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
He doesn't know when the horse will be on his
feet again, and he's just had a baby.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
The horse, No, the iceman I'll like to switch his
white see and they haven't got enough money to buy milk.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
Defeated let alone the other seven children in the family
plus oats.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
It's sad, miss Brooks, sadest thing since Camille. How much
do you want to borrow?
Speaker 11 (09:41):
Walter?
Speaker 8 (09:42):
Five dollars A help a lot?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Okay, here you are? Gosh? Thanks?
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Are you sure you won't miss it?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
No, I won't miss it, Walter. The people who sold
me this coat may miss it, but I'll take care
of that later.
Speaker 8 (09:53):
Thanks again.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
You don't know what this money you'll do for these people,
and you'll get it back just as soon as my
friend's foot here, your friend's foot.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
I thought it was the horse who fell. The horse?
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Oh sure, but didn't I tell you when the horse fell,
my friend tried to lift him up and sprained his
own ankle.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Between his sick horse, sprained ankle and having a baby,
your friend is the busiest ice man I ever knew.
I all right near school.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Oh gosh, I got so wound up talking about my
poor friend. I forgot to stop and let you get
some breakfast.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well after that, Storry, Walter, I'd feel guilty eating anything,
but hey, I'll have an early lunch in the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (10:35):
How, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Well, here we are, thanks, Walter. Say, isn't that Harriet
Conklin going up the steps? Yeah? That's Harriet. Oh, you
better hurry.
Speaker 8 (10:46):
She's anxious to talk to you.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
How can you tell from the back of her neck
I'm psychic about some things.
Speaker 8 (10:52):
Go ahead, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
All right, Walter, see you later. Good morning, Harry.
Speaker 12 (10:57):
Oh, good morning, Miss brook I'm so glad we bumped
into each other before school starts.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I've been very anxious to talk to you. Walter is
psychic at that, among other things. What did you want
to talk to me about?
Speaker 12 (11:08):
Well, it's rather embarrassing, Not that you're hard to talk
to or anything, but golly, ike, just don't know how
to say it.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Now that we're face to face. Well, we'd look pretty
silly chatting back to back.
Speaker 12 (11:21):
What seems to be the trouble, Well, it's really not
my trouble, miss Brooks. It's just that I've got to
get some financial assistance for a friend in need.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
What friend, Harriet, Well, it's a little boy.
Speaker 11 (11:31):
I know.
Speaker 12 (11:32):
He comes from a very poor family, and in order
to help his folks, he shines shoes after school. Now
he's got a little dog that helped him get his
business started.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
What did he do put up the money?
Speaker 12 (11:45):
I know, miss Brooks, he used to do tricks and
track customers. But just the other day fell down and
hurt his foot. Now the poor little dog can't even
get downtown anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Well, I can get him a lift downtown if he
doesn't mind riding on a lame horse. I don't understand.
I don't either, But how much do you want to borrow? Well,
right after he was.
Speaker 12 (12:05):
Hurt, they took the little dog to a hospital and
the bill there was eight dollars.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
You must have had a semi private room. Well here's
the eight dollars, Harriet. Oh, thank you, miss Brooks. You're
sure you won't miss it. No, I won't miss it.
The people I owe the payment on my watch might
miss it, but I'll take care of that later. Anyway,
I still have enough left to pick up that bag
at Justin's this afternoon.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Oh I mean what bag? A green alligator job that
I've had my eye on for weeks. Oh well, before
you go to your room, Daddy would like you to
stop in at his office. Oh what have I done?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Now?
Speaker 12 (12:38):
Why should you think you've done something, Miss Brooks. Golly,
just because daddy's a principal. There's no reason for anybody'd
be afraid of him.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
No, maybe a right, Harriet, good morning. See you later,
Miss brook By Harrid.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
When you step into my office a moment, Miss Brooks, certainly,
mister Conklin, at ease have a chair, Yes, sir, as
you know, I was a major in the last War,
spent almost four years in charge of the post exchange
at Camp Bubrick.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Ohio.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Scouts fella.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yes, although I've been returned to the arms of my
loved ones for over two years now, I opened my
last box of hershes in forty six, I must confess
there are aspects of military life which fair remembering, such
as the camaraderie esprie decorps.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Don't you agree, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
We montcapitown.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You've been teaching at Madison High for over five years,
haven't you.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
That's right, mister Conklin. And in that time I've had
a lot of his strie decorps, but very few raises.
I think the last one was let's.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Not talk shop, Miss Brooks. I realized that you haven't
had a raise in some time. But after all, it's
a universal complaint these days, and one which can't be remedied. O. Meanwhile,
you get by very nicely on the money earned, don't you.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Well, speaking frankly, that's.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
The only way to speak, miss brook Now, if you
don't mind, I'll come to the point. I've got to
have some financial assistance for a friend of mine in distress.
Another one, this poor chap was one of my gi
assistants during the war, just a corporal, but I recommended
him for a War Department citation. Really, yes, you never
saw anyone fill a coke machine.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Like this lamb.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
As for stacking Kleenex boxes. Ah, Well, after the war
he got married and started to raise a family. That
was three years ago. But luck didn't favor this boy.
He lost one job after another. Things went from bad
to worse.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
You mean he became a teacher.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No laughing matters, Brooks. He's just written me that.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
His wife is going to have another baby. Therefore, in
three years.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
There's a set of twins.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
In any event, he's desperate. He can't even afford a
hospital room for his wife.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Well, I know where there's a semi private room if
she doesn't mind dogs. I mean, how much would you
like to borrow? Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I've asked many of my friends for five or
ten dollars.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I see, well, I get, But you're.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Such an old friend, Miss Brooks, I feel that I
can ask you for fifteen.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Before our friendship gets any older. Here's the fifteen.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Dollars I would like, Miss Brooks. You're sure you won't
miss it.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
No, I won't miss it. The people I owe apair
bill on my car might miss it, but I'll take
care of that later.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Very well, that'll be all in dismissed.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I excuse me, Miss Brooks, but at this table with you,
the school cafeteria is pretty crowded today.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Oh sit down, mister Boynton. You'll forgive me if I
go ahead with my lunch. Of course, I want to
eat this salad while it's still warm.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
There's something i'd like to talk to you about.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Yes, mister Boyton, I've heard from.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Many people how generous and warm hearted you are under
your veneer of seeming sophistication.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Of course, I've.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Always known that you're true glue, one hundred percent human being,
deep down below the surface.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Why, mister Boynton, you've been peeking at my x rays.
I'm serious.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I know that I can appeal to you for assistance
without fear of embarrassment. And I know when you hear
my story you'll want a help it to Boynton.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Well, what's your story?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Well, I have this friend who's also a biologist from
a poor family. No, no, his family's very wealthy as
a matter of fact.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
But he's married and has seven children and one on
the way. No, he's a single chap, but he's got
a bad sickness.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Oh no, he's in the pink of condition.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh wait a minute, die Now, his little puppy broke
its leg.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Oh he hasn't any puppy, but it's great danger.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Just want a blue ribbon? Wrong again? But give that
lady a box of red Heart and two tickets to
next week's flea circus. Look, mister Gordon, I'll bet your
friend's horse is so lame you can't even ride him
to word.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
My friend drives a Cadillac.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
If you'll just let me finish it, I'll be.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
As brief as possible.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
You see, he's leaving town.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
He's got about thirty white mice and frogs that he
wants to give me.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Oh, so that's it. They're sick and not at all.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
They're wonderful specimens, but they're orphans. Please, Miss Brooks. What
I'm trying to tell you is that i'll need about
twenty dollars for the added equipment it'll require to house them.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Oh well, why didn't you say so? Here, mister Boyden,
here's eighteen dollars. It's all I have left. Let a
couple of the mice double up.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Thank you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I certainly appreciate this, But are you sure you won't
miss it?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
No, I won't miss it. The people I owe the
payments on my car, watch and code might miss it,
but I'll take care of that later. There's only one
thing that's not going to be put off, mister Boynton.
Oh what's that? A green alligator bag. I've got my
deep down underneath a little warm heart set on. My
first stop after school will be the nearest bank that
lends money.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
All right, all right, attention quietly see now then, Harriet,
it was your idea to have this surprise party for
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Suppose you outlined the plant, all right?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Daddy?
Speaker 12 (18:35):
First of all, did we all borrow enough for Miss
Brooks to keep her from getting that bag.
Speaker 6 (18:39):
She won missus Davis and I took five dollars each
from her.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I nailed her for a that is, I appropriated fifteen
and she loaned me eighteen dollars.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Good for you, mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I'm afraid it's not good enough, mister Counton. She told
me at lunch she was going to the bank and
borrow the money for the bag.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Oh golly, that'll spoil everything I know.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Why don't we call the store and tell them, under
no circumstances to sell her that bag.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Tell them we're buying excellent Walter. It's a wonder that
that agile mind of yours doesn't function quite so efficaciously
in the school room.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Ash.
Speaker 8 (19:14):
Thanks, mister Connachlin.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
You can.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
I'll run down to the store, pick up the bag,
and take it home. Now, who'll get miss Brooks and
bring her over to our house. I will.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I'll call for it at about five o'clock and bring
her over to your house at six.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Fine, Now, synchronize watches, everybody.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Let's say, confidential loan department. This is it. Pardon me,
I've read your ads, but I'd still like to be
assured that any business we transact will be strictly confidential.
You may be quite certain of that, Miss I said.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
We treat all our sactions with the utmost secrecy.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Well, you're gonna let me in on it? Like to
borrow about thirty five dollars? Yes, ma'am. What is your
occupation please? I'm a school teacher. How long have you
been teaching? And at what school? Please? Five years at
Madison Hawg. How do you sound when you've got lauringitis?
(20:24):
Very comical?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
You write your name and address down and I'll get
you the money.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Is that all there is to it?
Speaker 11 (20:32):
Yes, we don't.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Believe in a lot of red tape. All you have
to do is sign a few papers. First here, yes,
ow here right now? This one there you are?
Speaker 11 (20:43):
Ow here here again and this one.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Now we'll start on the second page.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Here and here and here and here and here here?
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Can I help you? Madam? It's miss miss Brooks. I'd
like to see an item your department has been featuring
in your window display. What item is that, Miss Brooks?
It's a green alligator? What a green alligator? I've seen
it in your window every day for weeks now. Have
you ever heard of alcoholics? Anonymous? Do you mean to
(21:32):
tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Oh
not at all, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (21:36):
You know you don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Don't you? Or do you? Of course I do. Let's
start all over again. There's a purse made of green
alligator skin that's been in your window. O that thing?
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Oh you wouldn't want to own that?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
Why it wouldn't do a thing for you. It wouldn't
have to. I've got a job. May I see at least.
Speaker 12 (22:01):
A funny thing about that model?
Speaker 8 (22:02):
I saw the last one not a half hour ago.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
To miss h Conklin, I believe, Well, couldn't you get
one just like it? If I h Conklin. That's Harriet,
by that little demon. Maybe if I get her another bag,
she'll trade me the green one. Now she wears a
lot of green. Besides, she has alligator shoes too. Well,
I might as well go over to her house and
see what I can do.
Speaker 7 (22:24):
Anyway, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your monologue, but
h Conston.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Won't be home for a while.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
She says she had a lot of shopping to do,
and then she's going to get a manicure at Antwine's.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Well I'll go to our house and wait. Thank you
and good day.
Speaker 11 (22:41):
J Edgar Hoovering.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Hello, missus Conklin. Is Harriet at home?
Speaker 10 (22:57):
Why no, Miss Brooks, she's out doing some last minute shopping.
Miss Brooks. Isn't it terribly early? I mean, with the
day is getting shorter all the time. It seems like
about five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
It is five o'clock. May I come in, missus Conko
of course?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Who is a mother?
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It's you, Miss Brooks. Hello, mister Conkent Martha.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Did Harriet get back with miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Early?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I mean, it only seems like five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Five one.
Speaker 10 (23:27):
Here in the living room a minute, Miss Brooks. I
was good.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
I like to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yes, will you excuse us police, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Surely, I don't know what I wonder if they've had
a confidential loan lately. I'll be right there.
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Hello, Walter, Oh, missus Conklin, I got all this stuff,
funny hats, noisemakers, confettian streamers. Hell, come on in the
living room and we'll start decorating the place.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
But Walter, look who's here? Water Miamus Brooks.
Speaker 6 (24:01):
Ye, Walter, Now we'll take the streamers, and we'll start
in this corner of the room and we'll Brooks.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
When you hear the tone, the time will be five two.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
This one's on me.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Hello, mister Cochlan, I was just over at missus Davis's house.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But you say no, say't no, mal Biden, come into
the living room.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Hello, mister Boyn, Hello Missus Cochlan Water, Hello mister Hello,
missus Chris Brooks. As I started to say, mister Cockle,
I went over to missus Davis is to pick up
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
But this Brooks. I know I'm terribly early, but I
wish I knew for what.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
Must be Harriet, Hello, dear missus Davis, come.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
In, won't you. I got the bag mother and I
had a gift wrapped. Oh it looks just super. I
brought the cake. Martha Ben he know everybody. Hello, Missus Davis, Harriet, Hello,
Miss brook Well, there's nothing else that we can do now.
But wait, the company, says Miss Brooks once more. I'm
going to change my name to Lucy pumper Nichols.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag. Now.
We might as well tell you, miss Brooks, this little
gathering is in honor of your birthday, My birthday.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
How do you like that? I forgot it again?
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Miss Brooks has a token of our esteem and affection.
May we present you with this little gift?
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Go on, miss brook open it.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
We gift you something you wanted for the longtime.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Colley, Oh, the green alligator bag. So that's why everybody
borrowed money from me today, that's right.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
We didn't want you to get it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Well, this is certainly the nicest present anybody ever bought me,
with or without my money. Oh, we didn't get this
with your money, miss Brooks. Look inside the purse. Oh
what's this? Five ten, twenty? It's all here, that's right,
miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Well, now that we all know it's your birthday, suppose
you tell us how old John.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday,
Armis Groul, Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
E Varden as Armis Brooks returns in just one moment.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
But first, dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Tonight you can see this come true, revealed by a
luster cream shampoo. You'll see your hair lovelier, your wave curls, softer,
more glamorous, easy to do, quickly, even in hardest water.
Luster cream shampoo leads hair three ways, lovelier, fragrantly clean,
easier to mand age, brilliant with sheen. Don't wait tonight.
(27:03):
Use Luster cream shampoo, not a soap, not a liquid,
but a dainty, magical cream. Discover why it's by far
the top favorite cream shampoo. Get the big jar one dollar,
smaller sizes either tubes or jars.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Tonight you can be a.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You owe your crowning glory to all Luster cream champoo.
And now once again, here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
So you see I won't need the thirty five dollars
I borrowed from you people yesterday. Here it is.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Fine, The interest is practically nothing.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Oh that's nice. May I have a receipt? Please? Of course?
Just sign here ye and here yes, and here yes
and here that's true.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Turn into another hour, Miss Brookshaw, dot you buy Armory salt,
your beauty, hope and Uster cream sampoo for soft, glamorous
green girl hair. Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is
produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by al Lewis,
with music by Wilbur had Dentis know what cleans teeth best,
and over four thousand datas say Colgate toothpowder with a
(28:27):
two minute routine gets teeth sparkling and super clean. So
to remove dull film and get your teeth shining clean,
just brush teeth two minutes morning and night with Colgate toothpowder.
Brush inside, outside, and biting surfaces. Always brush away from
the guns. See how quickly this gets teeth naturally bright.
It removes dull film that improper brushing. Missus and Colgate
(28:47):
Toothpowder also sweetens your breath. Try it by Colgate Toothpowder
today for mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to Mister
and Missus North Tune in Tuesday evenings over most of
these same stations, and be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of our
(29:07):
Miss Brooks Bob Lemon speaking for CBS the Columbia Broadcasting
System
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