August 20, 2025 • 29 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Dive into "Daily Our Miss Brooks," where each podcast episode brings you a slice of life from the iconic radio character, Miss Brooks. Experience her daily escapades in teaching, alongside lively interactions with students and faculty, all infused with the wit and charm that made the original series a hit. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the series, this podcast is your go-to for a daily laugh rooted in classic entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now anison the tablet thousands of physicians and dentists recommend
for fast relief of pain of headache, neurytis, neuralgia, and heat,
the liniment that's strong yet does not burn.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Present ar Miss Brooks starring e Varden.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
If time once again for another comedy episode of our
Miss Brooks transcribed, But first, may I make a suggestion
that you will probably thank me for someday. It's simply this.
The next time you suffer from headache, neurytis, or in
neuralgia pain, try anison.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
The reason we suggest this is.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Because we feel sure you will be surprised at how
incredibly fast anison gives you relief.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Thousands of people who have tried.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Anison say its action is truly astonishing. Anison is like
a doctor's prescription. That is, anison contains not just one
but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy
to take tablet form. Thus, in taking anison, you are
following sound principles. The next time you suffer pain from headache,
(01:05):
eurytis or neuralgia, don't wait for relief. Try anison on
this guarantee. If the first few anison tablets do not
give you all the relief you want as fast as
you want it, Return the unused portion, and your money
will be refunded. You can get anison at any drug
counter in handy boxes of twelve and thirty tablets and
economical family size bottles of fifty and one hundred. I'll
(01:28):
spell the name for you, Ana cim.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
When a woman feels about a man the way Armis Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High feels about Philippointing, the
biology instructor. She's usually pretty patient with him, but after
going together for six years, she's beginning to feel that
she's given him enough rope.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
I'm also beginning to feel like getting some of the
rope back so I can hang myself. All in all,
I accomplished some pretty high class brooding during the week,
But oddly enough, it was my landlady's cat who finally
took my mind off my personal problems. She was missing
at dinner Wednesday night, and when she didn't show up
(02:13):
Thursday morning at breakfast, I mentioned my concern to my landlady.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Really, Connie, there's nothing to worry about. Minerva's stayed away
many times, but.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Missus Davis, she wasn't here for dinner last night.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Now you know Minerva, she'll be back anyway. Dear, it
isn't like you to worry about things like that. There's
something else behind your nervousness, isn't there? Connie?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Something else is You've been brooding.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
All week long? Has mister Boynton been bothering you?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I should live so long?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
That is well, if you want to look at it
that way, my brooding has something to do with mister Barnham.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
In fact, it has everything to do with mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I thought that was it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Here it is near the end of another school year,
and his attitude toward me still hasn't changed.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Well, Connie, you listen to me for once. I'm going
to talk to you like a Dutch junkle. For six
years now, I've watched how you handle mister Boynton, and
as far as I can see, there's only one way
you'll ever become missus Boynton.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
I know, bump off his mother and marry his father.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No, you've got to change, completely, change exactly. And all
the time you've known mister Boynton, you've been completely independent.
You've gone Dutch. John Dates loaned in money while you
were as self reliant as he was. And what's the result.
You're a peled to him, a buddy, but never a woman.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
You mean he thinks of me as a playmate instead
of a maid.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Precisely. Now, there are several things you can do to
make him think of you as a woman.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Wouldn't it save time if I just showed him my
birth certificate?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I'm not kidding, Connie. A man likes to feel he's
needed by a woman, that he's being depended upon. He
enjoys being the big protector.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
You may have something there, Missus Davis. What do you
suggest I do?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well? Have you ever cried on his shoulder?
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Cried?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I mean really turned on both faucets?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Well, no, I never.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
That's the greatest gimmick we women have. A man can't
stand to see a woman cry. His defenses go down
and all his protective instincts come to the fore. Most
men will do anything to stop a woman from crying.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
From Missus Davis, I can't turn on my tear ducts
like that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It could if you had a little help. Help, Connie,
I have an idea. I'm going to cut up some
raw onions and put them in your handbag.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Raw onions, Oh, Missus Davis, I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Must be Walter Denton to drive me to school beyond.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
The Connie, If you want to see how affected tears
can be, this is the best possible way.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
But Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Wants in his life. You've got to make mister Boynton
aware of your presence.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
If I open that handbag, the whole school will be
aware of my presence. I'm to think of it, though,
it would be very interesting to see how mister Boynton
reacts to tears.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It'll be amazed, Connie. Now, I'll just take your handbag
into the kitchen and be back in a minute.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Where is it, dear, It's over on the sideboard. Oh,
Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Before I forget, please call me later in the day
and let me know if Minerva shows.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Up all right, Dear, my brother Victor promised to help
me look forward today. I'm sure she'll turn up all right. Now? Then,
is there anything else? Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
If you do find Minerva, don't discuss what we're having
for dinner in front of her. She might not show
up for another six days. Walter, be careful, Please don't
drive so fast, Walter, Oh, now, for goodness sake, slowed down.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
You just missed two fire hydrants by inches.
Speaker 6 (06:13):
I guess I'm out of practice. And the reason I'm
hurrying is because I was over to the Conklins last night,
an old marblehead. Mister Conklin said he wanted to see
you first thing today.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Oh he did. Well, then, by all means, drive the
way you were before.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
You mean you want to get there faster?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
No, but that way we have a fifty to fifty
chance of not getting there at all.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
Yeah, I will make it all right.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Oh, miss Brooks, pardon me for mentioning it, but there's
a slight smudge on your nose.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
With smudge, I can't understand where it came from.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Me either, After all, this car is only open on
five sides. See, I've got a handkerchief right here in
my handbag. I did have one in here.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Where did I put it?
Speaker 7 (06:59):
Well, Miss Bruce, what is it?
Speaker 8 (07:02):
What's what you're crying? I have never seen you cry before.
What isn't, Miss Brooks? What happened.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Wald nothing at all?
Speaker 9 (07:14):
Then?
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Why are you crying?
Speaker 10 (07:16):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (07:17):
Miss Bruce, please don't. I can't stand not particularly a
woman I'm as fond of as I am of.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
You, it's all right. Well, they believe me. I'm all right.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Ah, you can't fool me, Miss Brooks. I know you
too well. Something terrible must have happened for you to
keep crying this way.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Oh it's not so terrible. I just can't get this
bag clothes. I mean I'll be all right in a minute.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
Oh please let me help you. Please.
Speaker 8 (07:44):
Oh, something happens to me when I see a woman crying. Honestly,
right now, I've got butterflies in my stomach. What can
I do?
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Get technicolor X rays.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
I'll do anything if you'll only just stop crying.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
If I can get results like this, I'll make Niagara
Falls look like a damp blotter.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Who is it?
Speaker 10 (08:20):
And what do you want?
Speaker 7 (08:21):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
And not a thing? Bye?
Speaker 10 (08:24):
Come in Brooks.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Did you want to see me?
Speaker 11 (08:29):
Mister Counten? I asked to see you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (08:32):
Believe me.
Speaker 11 (08:33):
There's a different sit down, please and I'll come straight.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
To the point.
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Yes, sir, Miss Brooks, I have a little problem.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
To pose to you.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
A problem, mister Counton.
Speaker 11 (08:42):
Is something that i'd like your advice on. You see,
the PTA has asked me to make a speech tomorrow night,
and speeches take time and preparation, preparation that can't be
accomplished during school hours. Therefore, an evening must be devoted
to it.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I follow me so far, Miss Brooks like.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
A reluctant be go, yes, sir, I do well.
Speaker 11 (09:03):
Since the speech must be prepared this evening, and since
there's no one else to turn to.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
If you were me, what would you do.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
I'd sit down and write the speech myself.
Speaker 11 (09:13):
I accept your kind offer, be over at my house
at nine Shops.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
But sir, I meant that you should write it. I
have an appointment with mister Boyton for tonight.
Speaker 11 (09:26):
Oh you have well, naturally, you can't break a date.
It's the last minute.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Oh I'm glad you see it that way, mister Cauntlon.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Indeed I do, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 11 (09:34):
I wouldn't dream of separating you too tonight for the worst.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
That's very considerate, sir.
Speaker 11 (09:39):
So while you are working on my speech to the PTA,
mister Boynton can sit in the same room preparing my
report to.
Speaker 9 (09:46):
The Board of Education.
Speaker 11 (09:47):
But mister Cantlon, I'll see you at nine tonight. Oh
and before you face your pupils, Miss Brooked, it might
be advisable to remove that smudge from the side of
your nose.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
Smudge. Oh that's right. I never did get that thing off.
Is it very noticeable?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Sir?
Speaker 11 (10:03):
Not very It just looks as if your hair net
flipped down. Can can I lend you something to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Take it off with?
Speaker 10 (10:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:12):
No, thanks. I have a handkerchief right here in my
bag at least I thought I had one in here.
Where is where's that handkerchief?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Miss?
Speaker 9 (10:23):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
What's what?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Why you're you're crying?
Speaker 11 (10:29):
I've never seen you cry before.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Where where It's? Nothing?
Speaker 10 (10:45):
Miss?
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Nothing at all? Then?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Why are you crying?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I'm not crying.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Then fry your eyes at once at once?
Speaker 10 (10:53):
You here.
Speaker 11 (10:55):
Forgets about tonight. I've never asked you to work at
my house.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I've never asked you to do anything again anything.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
I promise.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Oh I can't tell your hormat.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
I appreciate stop right.
Speaker 10 (11:08):
Something happens to me when I see a woman cry.
Speaker 11 (11:12):
I get butterflies in my stomach.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Oh they get around, don't they.
Speaker 10 (11:19):
I'll do anything anything you ask. Please stop crying.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Oh yes, sir, there God stop?
Speaker 9 (11:28):
Oh thanks goodness?
Speaker 10 (11:29):
Are you all right now?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Will you be able to take your first Classmas Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Yes, sir, but first I have to make a very
grateful phone call.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Grateful phone call to whom.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Well, let's just call her a girl who really knows
her onions.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
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(12:17):
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(12:38):
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heat the liniment that penetrates deep to bring immediate relief.
(13:05):
Well so far, missus Davis idea that tears could soften
up any man from Miss Brooks's worked belt plates, but
with the wrong men. Now, as Miss Brooks waits at
a table in the school cafeteria for the big experiment,
mister Boyton, her prize guinea pig, is deep in conversation
with Walter Denton at the entrance to the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (13:24):
So I thought you might know why Miss Brooks did
all like crying this morning, mister Boyton.
Speaker 10 (13:28):
I'm the slightest idea, Walter. What's more, I simply can't
imagine Miss Brooks crying.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
I couldn't either until this morning.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I still can't believe it of her. I thought only
women cried, that is weaker women.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 8 (13:45):
Somehow, I've always thought of Miss Brooks as a kind
of rock of Gibralar.
Speaker 9 (13:51):
That's funny.
Speaker 10 (13:51):
I've always pictured her as sort of an indestructible battleship.
But I suppose he each of us has his own
romantic impression of the same woman.
Speaker 8 (14:03):
Well, whatever's causing it must be pretty awful, But whatever
it is.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
I'm sure you could take her mind off her troubles.
Mister Boynton.
Speaker 9 (14:10):
Oh, I'm willing to try, Walter.
Speaker 10 (14:12):
I'm going to meet her for lunch now and got
a little idea that I hope will make her forget.
Speaker 9 (14:16):
Her own worries, whatever they are.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
No, that's well, good luck, mister Boyton. Oh there we
are there?
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Who are Oh?
Speaker 11 (14:29):
We yes?
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Here? I are am. Please sit dan, Miss Nan.
Speaker 9 (14:37):
Where's your lunch? Miss Brooke?
Speaker 7 (14:39):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I thought maybe you'd go and get both our lunches here.
I'll just open my bag and give you the money.
Speaker 10 (14:45):
Miss Brooks, take your hand away from your pocketbook this minute.
Speaker 9 (14:48):
Since when have I let you pay for your lunch?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Since when haven't you?
Speaker 10 (14:54):
Anyway, I'm paying for lunch today.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
It's a fine time to start. Well, you don't if
I opened my bags to part of my nose, do you?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (15:02):
Not at all, Miss Brooks. I'll wait right here till
you get back.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
I should have lest that smudge on my face while
I was ahead. You've seen Miss Gorton. I haven't been
quite myself today, and.
Speaker 10 (15:13):
So I heard, Miss Brooks. I also heard that you've
been crying. I could hardly believe it.
Speaker 9 (15:19):
Must be something terribly serious.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Oh it is. It is?
Speaker 10 (15:23):
Then, I suppose my troubles that seem minor by comparison
you're troubles.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Has something happened to you too?
Speaker 10 (15:31):
Oh it's hardly worth mentioning, miss Brooks. My father had
a little fire in his place of business last week.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Oh really, any serious damage?
Speaker 9 (15:40):
Oh? Not with any of us pointing to all serious.
It was quite a fire though.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Where is your father's place of business, Miss Barton.
Speaker 9 (15:47):
He operates a small factory upstate?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Oh what does he manufacture?
Speaker 10 (15:52):
Paper boxes and excelsior? Mostly the whole shebang burned to
the ground.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. He insured.
Speaker 10 (16:01):
Funny thing about that his policy lapped the day before
the fire.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Pretty careless planning. I mean, what is he going to do?
Speaker 10 (16:12):
Oh he'll just borrow some money and build another plant.
I guess my brother will be able to help out
as soon as his broken leg heals.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Your brother has a broken leg.
Speaker 10 (16:23):
He broke it trying to rescue My sister got to
her just in time.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Oh well that's good.
Speaker 9 (16:29):
Yes, she should be coming out of shock any day now.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Shock. Oh, mister Borton, you have had a rough time.
I'm surprised you never mentioned any of this before.
Speaker 10 (16:41):
Oh. I was going to, but then I figured why
should I bore you with a lot of family trivia
so part of living.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I always say, Well, you've certainly shown a lot of
courage bearing up the way you have, mister Boyton.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Oh, there's nothing really. Oh, hello Harriet, Hello.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Harry, Oh hello miss Brooke. Are you than whom I mean?
I feel quite well, thank you.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
One's so glad you look pretty grim and class before.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Oh, Daddy wants to see mister Boynton right away. He
says he should get down to his office on the double,
on the double, isn't that's right?
Speaker 7 (17:16):
And you know Daddy when he says get there on
the double.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
When Daddy says get there on the double, you'd better
get there on the triple.
Speaker 11 (17:34):
So, mister Boynton, you have no idea why miss Brooks
has been crying all day, not the faintest Miss Carton.
I wouldn't have imagined it possible if I hadn't seen
her do it right here in my office this morning.
Speaker 9 (17:44):
It's very unlike her, sir.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Indeed it is.
Speaker 11 (17:46):
I still have difficulty believing it of Miss Brooks. I've
always thought only people cried weaker women.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 10 (17:58):
I've always thought of miss Brooks as an in the
instructible battle Shepherd?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Have you real name? Isn't that funny?
Speaker 11 (18:05):
I've always pictured her as a heavily armored tang. But
this morning, when she started to blink her gun slits
to blink her eyes and they filled with tears, I
was completely disillusioned.
Speaker 10 (18:23):
Well it must be something pretty serious.
Speaker 11 (18:27):
Hello, our good conquence speaking. Who Oh yes, yes, I'll
give miss Brooks a message.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
What well, that's terrible, terrible.
Speaker 11 (18:37):
Oh yes, yes, I'll break it to her as gently
as I can.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Goodbye.
Speaker 11 (18:42):
Well, that call explains everything. Who was a sir Missus
Davis's brother? He said, to just tell miss Brooks that
the poor dear is still missing missing?
Speaker 9 (18:53):
Why no, wonder miss Brooks was depressed.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
Missus Davis has been a second mother to her, and
she's God.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It was inevitable that she'd.
Speaker 9 (19:02):
Wander off, por thing.
Speaker 11 (19:07):
Inevitable from the moment I met her. I always said
that Missus Davis was a natural for amnesia.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Our this book will return in a moment.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Way back in fifteen twelve, an explorer named Ponta de
Leon discovered the peninsula we now call Florida. Months and
maybe years later, news of his discovery filtered back to
the old country, full of distortions.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Legends, and wild reports.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Communications was a pretty hit and this affair in Ponta's day.
In our twentieth century, however, communications have reached the complexity
and precision of a science and the swiftness of magic.
When you listen to CBS Radio, your living room is
on the news fronts of the world advance reach you
almost as they happen, and they're reported accurately, completely and
(20:04):
without bias.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The roster of CBS newsmen include such names.
Speaker 9 (20:08):
As Edward R.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Murrow Lowell, Thomas Larry Lecir, Eric Severid, Howard K. Smith,
Robert Trout, and many others, all well qualified by years
of experience at home and abroad to bring you the
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up to the minute CBS Radio News. Listen to it
every day and keep well informed.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
While so far today.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
A few tears plus a missing cat have resulted in
a near cause.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The lab for armis Brooks.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
After taking a brief phone message for her, Mister Conklin
and mister Boynton have convinced themselves that the reason she
has been in tears almost all day is that her
landlady is missing. However, as miss Brooks answers a phone
call at home that evening, she is unaware of their deductions.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Hello, Hello, honey, I'm sorry I couldn't be home for dinner.
Did you fix yourself something nice?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yes, Missus Davis, I fixed myself real nice. I finished
the Hungarian goulash.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Did you find Minerva yet?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Not yet, dear, but I'm certain she'll turn up, If
not tonight, then certainly in time for breakfast tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
He might at that now that the gulash is gone.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
By the way, dear, did you get the message my
brother Victor left his school for you.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Yes, mister Conklin gave it to me, and oddly enough,
he seemed even more disturbed about Minerva's disappearance than I am.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Oh, isn't that nice? Well, don't worry, Connie, I'll be
home in a little while.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
Don't hurry, Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Miss Boyne not to be here anytime now, and I'm
going to try your crying routine on him.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
It worked beautifully with the others.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Oh, I'm glad you mentioned it, Connie. If you can't
get your handbag, just stick your head in the fruit
bowl on the end table. You'll get the same results.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
The fruit bowl, but there are only apples.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
And they're just a camouflage on top. Underneath it's loaded
with onions.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
Missus Davis, you think of everything. Oh there's the doorbell.
That's probably mister Boyton. I'd better hang up, all right, dear,
good luck, Thanks Missus Davis. Goodbye.
Speaker 9 (22:21):
Good evening, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Good evening, mister Biden, come in.
Speaker 9 (22:26):
Thank you, Missus Brooks. I heard the sad news.
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Today for mister Conklin, and I want you to know
you have my deepest sympathy. Humh. It must be a
great strain to have such a close companion missing companion.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Oh her, Yes, I do miss her.
Speaker 10 (22:46):
It's probably in the evening like this when you miss
her most.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
You're right, mister Boyden.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Only the night before last I sat in this chair
reading and stroking her back for hours.
Speaker 9 (23:00):
You did.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Oh you should have heard her per She always responded
to affection. She was the affectionate type, all right, She
certainly was.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
You don't know how many times a night she used
to jump up on my lap and beg to be scratched.
Speaker 10 (23:21):
I beg your pardon.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
She used to like me to tweak her whiskers too.
Speaker 10 (23:27):
Well, really, Miss Brooks, I know you've got a keen
sense of humor, but this seems hardly the time.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Why not.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Oh, I'm sure we'll find.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Her well, I hope so.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Oh we always have in the past, either lying asleep
in some alley or.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Out yowling on some fence.
Speaker 9 (23:45):
What well, I had no idea, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Indulged Missus Davis. I was talking about our cat Minerva.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
But I thought Missus Davis was missing, that you were
all alone alone.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Oh I am she is. Missus Davis and her catin
IRV are missing together. They're inseparable, you know, never do
anything without the other. Oh it's a tragedy, mister Boyne,
A great tragedy.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
Oh no, take it easy, Miss Brooks. Here, sit down
on this chair.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Let's take the couch. To think that. Now I'm all alone,
all alone in the world. Hand me my bag, mister Boynan.
Speaker 9 (24:28):
Miss Brooks, you're not going to cry.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Just hand me my bag, please, thanks. Now, where is
that handkerchief of mine?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
Here it is here, it is, please, Miss Brooks, please
don't cry.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Well, I'll be all right, Miss Boyan.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
It's just that, after all these years of wonderful companionship.
Speaker 9 (24:48):
Miss Brooks, please stop crying. I can't stand it.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
You can.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Please all I'm going to be all alone, mister.
Speaker 7 (24:58):
Boy No, no, you want Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (25:03):
You'll always have me you.
Speaker 9 (25:05):
Oh, mister, if missus Davis doesn't return, I'll look after you.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I've been thinking, Miss Brooks, why can't you and I?
Speaker 10 (25:18):
Well, why can't we?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
That's what i'd like to know. Go on, mister mister
bon Yes, yes, mister Biden.
Speaker 9 (25:30):
Yes, the doorbell rang, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
I know it always does when I'm dreaming. Well, i've
said answered, I guess Missus Davis, what are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Don't you remember I live here? I'm sorry I had
to ring Connie, but I forgot my keys?
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Oh yes, your key.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You seem nervous about something, dear. Did I get back
too soon?
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Just about a week too soon?
Speaker 3 (26:01):
What are you talking about? Dear? I purposely hurried home
to show you who I found, yea.
Speaker 5 (26:07):
Minerva.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I knew how concerned you were about her. But now
she's found and all your worries are.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Over except one.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
How can I lose her again? Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
You know that phone message your brother gave mister Conklin. Yes,
well he misunderstood it and now everyone thinks you're the.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
One who's missing me.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
I told mister Boyton you and Minerva were both missing,
and he was so touched.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
He was about to propose.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
He must have been touched, that is, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Uh, it's just a policeman reporting on Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Mister Boyton, a policeman.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
You've got nothing to worry about, Miss Brooks. We've got
the best man on the force looking for Oh.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
Thanks, Missus Davis. Now you will only stay out of
sight for a little while. I'll go back into mister
Boyton and help him finish what he started.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Certainly, dear, I'll take Minerva and get into this hall closet.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Oh you're a doll, Missus Davis.
Speaker 9 (27:20):
Brooks, what was that?
Speaker 5 (27:22):
What was what? I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear
that either.
Speaker 10 (27:32):
It seemed to be coming from the hall closet. I'm
going to investigate.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Oh, mister Boyton.
Speaker 9 (27:37):
Wait, Missus Davis, what are you doing in there?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Missus Davis, there's no one for that name in here, Minerva.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
There's no one by that name in there either.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It's no use, Connie. I guess the jig is up,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (28:00):
I think you owe me an explanation. You told me that,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Where are you going?
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I'm not sure yet, Just forward all my mails As
a missing person's bureau.
Speaker 12 (28:17):
Armis Brooks, Darry Evart Frans Drive is producing, directed by
Larry Burns by Arthur rosberganal Lewis with the music of
Lud Gluskins.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Mister Conklin was played by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I Listen Tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Bob Rockwell,
Gloria McMillan, and Billy Goold. In the annual Awards poll
conducted by TV Radio Mirror magazine, for the third time,
American radio listeners have chosen Eve Arden as their favorite comedian.
We hope all of the listeners will want to read
about Eve and the awards in the May issue now
(28:47):
on the newsstands. Be sure to be with us next
week for another comedy episode of r Miss Brooks
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Sing
Now anison the tablet thousands of physicians and dentists recommend
for fast relief of pain of headache, neurytis, neuralgia, and heat,
the liniment that's strong yet does not burn.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Present ar Miss Brooks starring e Varden.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
If time once again for another comedy episode of our
Miss Brooks transcribed, But first, may I make a suggestion
that you will probably thank me for someday. It's simply this.
The next time you suffer from headache, neurytis, or in
neuralgia pain, try anison.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
The reason we suggest this is.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Because we feel sure you will be surprised at how
incredibly fast anison gives you relief.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Thousands of people who have tried.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Anison say its action is truly astonishing. Anison is like
a doctor's prescription. That is, anison contains not just one
but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy
to take tablet form. Thus, in taking anison, you are
following sound principles. The next time you suffer pain from headache,
(01:05):
eurytis or neuralgia, don't wait for relief. Try anison on
this guarantee. If the first few anison tablets do not
give you all the relief you want as fast as
you want it, Return the unused portion, and your money
will be refunded. You can get anison at any drug
counter in handy boxes of twelve and thirty tablets and
economical family size bottles of fifty and one hundred. I'll
(01:28):
spell the name for you, Ana cim.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
When a woman feels about a man the way Armis Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High feels about Philippointing, the
biology instructor. She's usually pretty patient with him, but after
going together for six years, she's beginning to feel that
she's given him enough rope.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
I'm also beginning to feel like getting some of the
rope back so I can hang myself. All in all,
I accomplished some pretty high class brooding during the week,
But oddly enough, it was my landlady's cat who finally
took my mind off my personal problems. She was missing
at dinner Wednesday night, and when she didn't show up
(02:13):
Thursday morning at breakfast, I mentioned my concern to my landlady.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Really, Connie, there's nothing to worry about. Minerva's stayed away
many times, but.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Missus Davis, she wasn't here for dinner last night.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Now you know Minerva, she'll be back anyway. Dear, it
isn't like you to worry about things like that. There's
something else behind your nervousness, isn't there? Connie?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Something else is You've been brooding.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
All week long? Has mister Boynton been bothering you?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I should live so long?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
That is well, if you want to look at it
that way, my brooding has something to do with mister Barnham.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
In fact, it has everything to do with mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I thought that was it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Here it is near the end of another school year,
and his attitude toward me still hasn't changed.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Well, Connie, you listen to me for once. I'm going
to talk to you like a Dutch junkle. For six
years now, I've watched how you handle mister Boynton, and
as far as I can see, there's only one way
you'll ever become missus Boynton.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
I know, bump off his mother and marry his father.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No, you've got to change, completely, change exactly. And all
the time you've known mister Boynton, you've been completely independent.
You've gone Dutch. John Dates loaned in money while you
were as self reliant as he was. And what's the result.
You're a peled to him, a buddy, but never a woman.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
You mean he thinks of me as a playmate instead
of a maid.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Precisely. Now, there are several things you can do to
make him think of you as a woman.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Wouldn't it save time if I just showed him my
birth certificate?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I'm not kidding, Connie. A man likes to feel he's
needed by a woman, that he's being depended upon. He
enjoys being the big protector.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
You may have something there, Missus Davis. What do you
suggest I do?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well? Have you ever cried on his shoulder?
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Cried?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I mean really turned on both faucets?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Well, no, I never.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
That's the greatest gimmick we women have. A man can't
stand to see a woman cry. His defenses go down
and all his protective instincts come to the fore. Most
men will do anything to stop a woman from crying.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
From Missus Davis, I can't turn on my tear ducts
like that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It could if you had a little help. Help, Connie,
I have an idea. I'm going to cut up some
raw onions and put them in your handbag.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Raw onions, Oh, Missus Davis, I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Must be Walter Denton to drive me to school beyond.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
The Connie, If you want to see how affected tears
can be, this is the best possible way.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
But Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Wants in his life. You've got to make mister Boynton
aware of your presence.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
If I open that handbag, the whole school will be
aware of my presence. I'm to think of it, though,
it would be very interesting to see how mister Boynton
reacts to tears.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It'll be amazed, Connie. Now, I'll just take your handbag
into the kitchen and be back in a minute.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Where is it, dear, It's over on the sideboard. Oh,
Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Before I forget, please call me later in the day
and let me know if Minerva shows.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Up all right, Dear, my brother Victor promised to help
me look forward today. I'm sure she'll turn up all right. Now? Then,
is there anything else? Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
If you do find Minerva, don't discuss what we're having
for dinner in front of her. She might not show
up for another six days. Walter, be careful, Please don't
drive so fast, Walter, Oh, now, for goodness sake, slowed down.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
You just missed two fire hydrants by inches.
Speaker 6 (06:13):
I guess I'm out of practice. And the reason I'm
hurrying is because I was over to the Conklins last night,
an old marblehead. Mister Conklin said he wanted to see
you first thing today.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Oh he did. Well, then, by all means, drive the
way you were before.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
You mean you want to get there faster?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
No, but that way we have a fifty to fifty
chance of not getting there at all.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
Yeah, I will make it all right.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Oh, miss Brooks, pardon me for mentioning it, but there's
a slight smudge on your nose.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
With smudge, I can't understand where it came from.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Me either, After all, this car is only open on
five sides. See, I've got a handkerchief right here in
my handbag. I did have one in here.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Where did I put it?
Speaker 7 (06:59):
Well, Miss Bruce, what is it?
Speaker 8 (07:02):
What's what you're crying? I have never seen you cry before.
What isn't, Miss Brooks? What happened.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Wald nothing at all?
Speaker 9 (07:14):
Then?
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Why are you crying?
Speaker 10 (07:16):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (07:17):
Miss Bruce, please don't. I can't stand not particularly a
woman I'm as fond of as I am of.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
You, it's all right. Well, they believe me. I'm all right.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Ah, you can't fool me, Miss Brooks. I know you
too well. Something terrible must have happened for you to
keep crying this way.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Oh it's not so terrible. I just can't get this
bag clothes. I mean I'll be all right in a minute.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
Oh please let me help you. Please.
Speaker 8 (07:44):
Oh, something happens to me when I see a woman crying. Honestly,
right now, I've got butterflies in my stomach. What can
I do?
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Get technicolor X rays.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
I'll do anything if you'll only just stop crying.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
If I can get results like this, I'll make Niagara
Falls look like a damp blotter.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Who is it?
Speaker 10 (08:20):
And what do you want?
Speaker 7 (08:21):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
And not a thing? Bye?
Speaker 10 (08:24):
Come in Brooks.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Did you want to see me?
Speaker 11 (08:29):
Mister Counten? I asked to see you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (08:32):
Believe me.
Speaker 11 (08:33):
There's a different sit down, please and I'll come straight.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
To the point.
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Yes, sir, Miss Brooks, I have a little problem.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
To pose to you.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
A problem, mister Counton.
Speaker 11 (08:42):
Is something that i'd like your advice on. You see,
the PTA has asked me to make a speech tomorrow night,
and speeches take time and preparation, preparation that can't be
accomplished during school hours. Therefore, an evening must be devoted
to it.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I follow me so far, Miss Brooks like.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
A reluctant be go, yes, sir, I do well.
Speaker 11 (09:03):
Since the speech must be prepared this evening, and since
there's no one else to turn to.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
If you were me, what would you do.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
I'd sit down and write the speech myself.
Speaker 11 (09:13):
I accept your kind offer, be over at my house
at nine Shops.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
But sir, I meant that you should write it. I
have an appointment with mister Boyton for tonight.
Speaker 11 (09:26):
Oh you have well, naturally, you can't break a date.
It's the last minute.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Oh I'm glad you see it that way, mister Cauntlon.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Indeed I do, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 11 (09:34):
I wouldn't dream of separating you too tonight for the worst.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
That's very considerate, sir.
Speaker 11 (09:39):
So while you are working on my speech to the PTA,
mister Boynton can sit in the same room preparing my
report to.
Speaker 9 (09:46):
The Board of Education.
Speaker 11 (09:47):
But mister Cantlon, I'll see you at nine tonight. Oh
and before you face your pupils, Miss Brooked, it might
be advisable to remove that smudge from the side of
your nose.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
Smudge. Oh that's right. I never did get that thing off.
Is it very noticeable?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Sir?
Speaker 11 (10:03):
Not very It just looks as if your hair net
flipped down. Can can I lend you something to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Take it off with?
Speaker 10 (10:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:12):
No, thanks. I have a handkerchief right here in my
bag at least I thought I had one in here.
Where is where's that handkerchief?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Miss?
Speaker 9 (10:23):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
What's what?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Why you're you're crying?
Speaker 11 (10:29):
I've never seen you cry before.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Where where It's? Nothing?
Speaker 10 (10:45):
Miss?
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Nothing at all? Then?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Why are you crying?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I'm not crying.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Then fry your eyes at once at once?
Speaker 10 (10:53):
You here.
Speaker 11 (10:55):
Forgets about tonight. I've never asked you to work at
my house.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I've never asked you to do anything again anything.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
I promise.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Oh I can't tell your hormat.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
I appreciate stop right.
Speaker 10 (11:08):
Something happens to me when I see a woman cry.
Speaker 11 (11:12):
I get butterflies in my stomach.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Oh they get around, don't they.
Speaker 10 (11:19):
I'll do anything anything you ask. Please stop crying.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Oh yes, sir, there God stop?
Speaker 9 (11:28):
Oh thanks goodness?
Speaker 10 (11:29):
Are you all right now?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Will you be able to take your first Classmas Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Yes, sir, but first I have to make a very
grateful phone call.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Grateful phone call to whom.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Well, let's just call her a girl who really knows
her onions.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
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(12:17):
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(12:38):
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heat the liniment that penetrates deep to bring immediate relief.
(13:05):
Well so far, missus Davis idea that tears could soften
up any man from Miss Brooks's worked belt plates, but
with the wrong men. Now, as Miss Brooks waits at
a table in the school cafeteria for the big experiment,
mister Boyton, her prize guinea pig, is deep in conversation
with Walter Denton at the entrance to the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (13:24):
So I thought you might know why Miss Brooks did
all like crying this morning, mister Boyton.
Speaker 10 (13:28):
I'm the slightest idea, Walter. What's more, I simply can't
imagine Miss Brooks crying.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
I couldn't either until this morning.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I still can't believe it of her. I thought only
women cried, that is weaker women.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 8 (13:45):
Somehow, I've always thought of Miss Brooks as a kind
of rock of Gibralar.
Speaker 9 (13:51):
That's funny.
Speaker 10 (13:51):
I've always pictured her as sort of an indestructible battleship.
But I suppose he each of us has his own
romantic impression of the same woman.
Speaker 8 (14:03):
Well, whatever's causing it must be pretty awful, But whatever
it is.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
I'm sure you could take her mind off her troubles.
Mister Boynton.
Speaker 9 (14:10):
Oh, I'm willing to try, Walter.
Speaker 10 (14:12):
I'm going to meet her for lunch now and got
a little idea that I hope will make her forget.
Speaker 9 (14:16):
Her own worries, whatever they are.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
No, that's well, good luck, mister Boyton. Oh there we
are there?
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Who are Oh?
Speaker 11 (14:29):
We yes?
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Here? I are am. Please sit dan, Miss Nan.
Speaker 9 (14:37):
Where's your lunch? Miss Brooke?
Speaker 7 (14:39):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I thought maybe you'd go and get both our lunches here.
I'll just open my bag and give you the money.
Speaker 10 (14:45):
Miss Brooks, take your hand away from your pocketbook this minute.
Speaker 9 (14:48):
Since when have I let you pay for your lunch?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Since when haven't you?
Speaker 10 (14:54):
Anyway, I'm paying for lunch today.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
It's a fine time to start. Well, you don't if
I opened my bags to part of my nose, do you?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (15:02):
Not at all, Miss Brooks. I'll wait right here till
you get back.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
I should have lest that smudge on my face while
I was ahead. You've seen Miss Gorton. I haven't been
quite myself today, and.
Speaker 10 (15:13):
So I heard, Miss Brooks. I also heard that you've
been crying. I could hardly believe it.
Speaker 9 (15:19):
Must be something terribly serious.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Oh it is. It is?
Speaker 10 (15:23):
Then, I suppose my troubles that seem minor by comparison
you're troubles.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Has something happened to you too?
Speaker 10 (15:31):
Oh it's hardly worth mentioning, miss Brooks. My father had
a little fire in his place of business last week.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Oh really, any serious damage?
Speaker 9 (15:40):
Oh? Not with any of us pointing to all serious.
It was quite a fire though.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Where is your father's place of business, Miss Barton.
Speaker 9 (15:47):
He operates a small factory upstate?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Oh what does he manufacture?
Speaker 10 (15:52):
Paper boxes and excelsior? Mostly the whole shebang burned to
the ground.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. He insured.
Speaker 10 (16:01):
Funny thing about that his policy lapped the day before
the fire.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Pretty careless planning. I mean, what is he going to do?
Speaker 10 (16:12):
Oh he'll just borrow some money and build another plant.
I guess my brother will be able to help out
as soon as his broken leg heals.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Your brother has a broken leg.
Speaker 10 (16:23):
He broke it trying to rescue My sister got to
her just in time.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Oh well that's good.
Speaker 9 (16:29):
Yes, she should be coming out of shock any day now.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Shock. Oh, mister Borton, you have had a rough time.
I'm surprised you never mentioned any of this before.
Speaker 10 (16:41):
Oh. I was going to, but then I figured why
should I bore you with a lot of family trivia
so part of living.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I always say, Well, you've certainly shown a lot of
courage bearing up the way you have, mister Boyton.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Oh, there's nothing really. Oh, hello Harriet, Hello.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Harry, Oh hello miss Brooke. Are you than whom I mean?
I feel quite well, thank you.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
One's so glad you look pretty grim and class before.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Oh, Daddy wants to see mister Boynton right away. He
says he should get down to his office on the double,
on the double, isn't that's right?
Speaker 7 (17:16):
And you know Daddy when he says get there on
the double.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
When Daddy says get there on the double, you'd better
get there on the triple.
Speaker 11 (17:34):
So, mister Boynton, you have no idea why miss Brooks
has been crying all day, not the faintest Miss Carton.
I wouldn't have imagined it possible if I hadn't seen
her do it right here in my office this morning.
Speaker 9 (17:44):
It's very unlike her, sir.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Indeed it is.
Speaker 11 (17:46):
I still have difficulty believing it of Miss Brooks. I've
always thought only people cried weaker women.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 10 (17:58):
I've always thought of miss Brooks as an in the
instructible battle Shepherd?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Have you real name? Isn't that funny?
Speaker 11 (18:05):
I've always pictured her as a heavily armored tang. But
this morning, when she started to blink her gun slits
to blink her eyes and they filled with tears, I
was completely disillusioned.
Speaker 10 (18:23):
Well it must be something pretty serious.
Speaker 11 (18:27):
Hello, our good conquence speaking. Who Oh yes, yes, I'll
give miss Brooks a message.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
What well, that's terrible, terrible.
Speaker 11 (18:37):
Oh yes, yes, I'll break it to her as gently
as I can.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Goodbye.
Speaker 11 (18:42):
Well, that call explains everything. Who was a sir Missus
Davis's brother? He said, to just tell miss Brooks that
the poor dear is still missing missing?
Speaker 9 (18:53):
Why no, wonder miss Brooks was depressed.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
Missus Davis has been a second mother to her, and
she's God.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It was inevitable that she'd.
Speaker 9 (19:02):
Wander off, por thing.
Speaker 11 (19:07):
Inevitable from the moment I met her. I always said
that Missus Davis was a natural for amnesia.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Our this book will return in a moment.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Way back in fifteen twelve, an explorer named Ponta de
Leon discovered the peninsula we now call Florida. Months and
maybe years later, news of his discovery filtered back to
the old country, full of distortions.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Legends, and wild reports.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Communications was a pretty hit and this affair in Ponta's day.
In our twentieth century, however, communications have reached the complexity
and precision of a science and the swiftness of magic.
When you listen to CBS Radio, your living room is
on the news fronts of the world advance reach you
almost as they happen, and they're reported accurately, completely and
(20:04):
without bias.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The roster of CBS newsmen include such names.
Speaker 9 (20:08):
As Edward R.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Murrow Lowell, Thomas Larry Lecir, Eric Severid, Howard K. Smith,
Robert Trout, and many others, all well qualified by years
of experience at home and abroad to bring you the
kind of news you want to hear, straight, accurate, and
up to the minute CBS Radio News. Listen to it
every day and keep well informed.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
While so far today.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
A few tears plus a missing cat have resulted in
a near cause.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The lab for armis Brooks.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
After taking a brief phone message for her, Mister Conklin
and mister Boynton have convinced themselves that the reason she
has been in tears almost all day is that her
landlady is missing. However, as miss Brooks answers a phone
call at home that evening, she is unaware of their deductions.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Hello, Hello, honey, I'm sorry I couldn't be home for dinner.
Did you fix yourself something nice?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yes, Missus Davis, I fixed myself real nice. I finished
the Hungarian goulash.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Did you find Minerva yet?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Not yet, dear, but I'm certain she'll turn up, If
not tonight, then certainly in time for breakfast tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
He might at that now that the gulash is gone.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
By the way, dear, did you get the message my
brother Victor left his school for you.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Yes, mister Conklin gave it to me, and oddly enough,
he seemed even more disturbed about Minerva's disappearance than I am.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Oh, isn't that nice? Well, don't worry, Connie, I'll be
home in a little while.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
Don't hurry, Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Miss Boyne not to be here anytime now, and I'm
going to try your crying routine on him.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
It worked beautifully with the others.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Oh, I'm glad you mentioned it, Connie. If you can't
get your handbag, just stick your head in the fruit
bowl on the end table. You'll get the same results.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
The fruit bowl, but there are only apples.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
And they're just a camouflage on top. Underneath it's loaded
with onions.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
Missus Davis, you think of everything. Oh there's the doorbell.
That's probably mister Boyton. I'd better hang up, all right, dear,
good luck, Thanks Missus Davis. Goodbye.
Speaker 9 (22:21):
Good evening, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Good evening, mister Biden, come in.
Speaker 9 (22:26):
Thank you, Missus Brooks. I heard the sad news.
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Today for mister Conklin, and I want you to know
you have my deepest sympathy. Humh. It must be a
great strain to have such a close companion missing companion.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Oh her, Yes, I do miss her.
Speaker 10 (22:46):
It's probably in the evening like this when you miss
her most.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
You're right, mister Boyden.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Only the night before last I sat in this chair
reading and stroking her back for hours.
Speaker 9 (23:00):
You did.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Oh you should have heard her per She always responded
to affection. She was the affectionate type, all right, She
certainly was.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
You don't know how many times a night she used
to jump up on my lap and beg to be scratched.
Speaker 10 (23:21):
I beg your pardon.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
She used to like me to tweak her whiskers too.
Speaker 10 (23:27):
Well, really, Miss Brooks, I know you've got a keen
sense of humor, but this seems hardly the time.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Why not.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Oh, I'm sure we'll find.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Her well, I hope so.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Oh we always have in the past, either lying asleep
in some alley or.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Out yowling on some fence.
Speaker 9 (23:45):
What well, I had no idea, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Indulged Missus Davis. I was talking about our cat Minerva.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
But I thought Missus Davis was missing, that you were
all alone alone.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Oh I am she is. Missus Davis and her catin
IRV are missing together. They're inseparable, you know, never do
anything without the other. Oh it's a tragedy, mister Boyne,
A great tragedy.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
Oh no, take it easy, Miss Brooks. Here, sit down
on this chair.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Let's take the couch. To think that. Now I'm all alone,
all alone in the world. Hand me my bag, mister Boynan.
Speaker 9 (24:28):
Miss Brooks, you're not going to cry.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Just hand me my bag, please, thanks. Now, where is
that handkerchief of mine?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
Here it is here, it is, please, Miss Brooks, please
don't cry.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Well, I'll be all right, Miss Boyan.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
It's just that, after all these years of wonderful companionship.
Speaker 9 (24:48):
Miss Brooks, please stop crying. I can't stand it.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
You can.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Please all I'm going to be all alone, mister.
Speaker 7 (24:58):
Boy No, no, you want Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (25:03):
You'll always have me you.
Speaker 9 (25:05):
Oh, mister, if missus Davis doesn't return, I'll look after you.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I've been thinking, Miss Brooks, why can't you and I?
Speaker 10 (25:18):
Well, why can't we?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
That's what i'd like to know. Go on, mister mister
bon Yes, yes, mister Biden.
Speaker 9 (25:30):
Yes, the doorbell rang, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
I know it always does when I'm dreaming. Well, i've
said answered, I guess Missus Davis, what are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Don't you remember I live here? I'm sorry I had
to ring Connie, but I forgot my keys?
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Oh yes, your key.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You seem nervous about something, dear. Did I get back
too soon?
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Just about a week too soon?
Speaker 3 (26:01):
What are you talking about? Dear? I purposely hurried home
to show you who I found, yea.
Speaker 5 (26:07):
Minerva.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I knew how concerned you were about her. But now
she's found and all your worries are.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Over except one.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
How can I lose her again? Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
You know that phone message your brother gave mister Conklin. Yes,
well he misunderstood it and now everyone thinks you're the.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
One who's missing me.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
I told mister Boyton you and Minerva were both missing,
and he was so touched.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
He was about to propose.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
He must have been touched, that is, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Uh, it's just a policeman reporting on Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Mister Boyton, a policeman.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
You've got nothing to worry about, Miss Brooks. We've got
the best man on the force looking for Oh.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
Thanks, Missus Davis. Now you will only stay out of
sight for a little while. I'll go back into mister
Boyton and help him finish what he started.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Certainly, dear, I'll take Minerva and get into this hall closet.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Oh you're a doll, Missus Davis.
Speaker 9 (27:20):
Brooks, what was that?
Speaker 5 (27:22):
What was what? I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear
that either.
Speaker 10 (27:32):
It seemed to be coming from the hall closet. I'm
going to investigate.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Oh, mister Boyton.
Speaker 9 (27:37):
Wait, Missus Davis, what are you doing in there?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Missus Davis, there's no one for that name in here, Minerva.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
There's no one by that name in there either.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It's no use, Connie. I guess the jig is up,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (28:00):
I think you owe me an explanation. You told me that,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Where are you going?
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I'm not sure yet, Just forward all my mails As
a missing person's bureau.
Speaker 12 (28:17):
Armis Brooks, Darry Evart Frans Drive is producing, directed by
Larry Burns by Arthur rosberganal Lewis with the music of
Lud Gluskins.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Mister Conklin was played by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I Listen Tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Bob Rockwell,
Gloria McMillan, and Billy Goold. In the annual Awards poll
conducted by TV Radio Mirror magazine, for the third time,
American radio listeners have chosen Eve Arden as their favorite comedian.
We hope all of the listeners will want to read
about Eve and the awards in the May issue now
(28:47):
on the newsstands. Be sure to be with us next
week for another comedy episode of r Miss Brooks
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Sing
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