August 17, 2025 • 30 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Dive into "Daily Our Miss Brooks," where each podcast episode brings you a slice of life from the iconic radio character, Miss Brooks. Experience her daily escapades in teaching, alongside lively interactions with students and faculty, all infused with the wit and charm that made the original series a hit. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the series, this podcast is your go-to for a daily laugh rooted in classic entertainment.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Coldgate Bettle cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and lust. Your
cream tampoo for salt, glamorous caressible hair bring you Our
Miss Brooks starring e Varden.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's time once again for.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks under the direction
of l lewis Well. The past few days haven't been
easy ones for our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at
Madison High School.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It seems that she is called upon to assume additional duties.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Whenever mister Conklin, Madison's beloved principle, loses a secretary. At
breakfast Thursday morning, Miss Brooks discussed her plight with her Landlady.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It's not only the added work that bothers me, missus Davis,
it's mister Conkland's temper.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
I know Connie Osgood is a natural born sourball.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Lemon flavored. No wonder he can't keep the secretary.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Why do you realize that since the fault where him started,
he lost three of them.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Three secretaries in a month. How is that possible?
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Well, the first one lasted the week she quit because
she couldn't stand is yelling. The second one quit after
four days for the same reason, and the third secretary
left before she even started.
Speaker 7 (01:16):
Why did the third one quit?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
She heard sourball screaming at the second one. He has
another one coming over today, and believe me, it's not
a minute too soon.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
You've been doing an awful lot of explorort this task week.
Has mister Counton given you anything for it?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
He's given me plenty, But I just don't listen.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
What annoys me more than anything else, though, is his
latest suggestion that I need glasses.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Glasses, but you're Beatingish twenty twenty, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Sure?
Speaker 6 (01:45):
Sure, at least as far as I know. But I
made a few mistakes in typing yesterday and he insisted
that I stopped in and as an optometrist this morning
and get a prescription for glasses.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I think it's so high here.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
There's nothing serious about wearing glasses now here.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
He's your apple fritters. I'll say they look good. What's
this brown stuff next to them?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
That's apple butter? Or if you'd rather have apple jerry
that's in dusky.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
She'll be here.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
You're the picture of apple juice.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You see.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
I'm celebrating National Apple wheet this morning.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I would never have guessed, Oh that's Walter Demon. He's
going to drop me at the optometriss this morning. The
doors open, Water, come on in.
Speaker 7 (02:35):
Do you think you want something to eat?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You'll want everything to.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Eat, fair lady?
Speaker 7 (02:43):
And what is this I see before me?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Apple fritters? Here's a fork? Fill your face? How about you,
Miss Brooks? I don't feel very hungry this morning.
Speaker 8 (02:53):
Water.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The possibility of my having to wear glasses has gotten
me down.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I guess I think that's absurd myself. I wish you'd
tell miss Brooks how little wearing glasses will affect her looks.
Speaker 9 (03:04):
Oh sure, Oh you shouldn't worry about glasses hurting your looks.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Miss Brooks. I shouldn't, of course.
Speaker 9 (03:09):
Not nothing could do that. What I mean is, well,
you don't even know if you need glasses yet, so
why should you worry now about how mister Boynton is
going to react?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It hasn't when he sees you with glasses on. I
don't recall mentioning mister Boynton in this conversation. You don't
have to.
Speaker 9 (03:31):
His name shines out of your eyes like neon.
Speaker 10 (03:35):
But even if you.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Do, put goggles on, I'm sure.
Speaker 9 (03:38):
That mister Boynt will feel just like any.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Other average male feels about it. How is that?
Speaker 9 (03:43):
Well, most men feel that glasses are merely an inconsequential,
man made accouterment, And the real beauty of a woman
is what lies within herself, and the quality is admired
by men of.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Taste and sensitivity, are.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Of the mind and the soul.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Please go on, doctor fud.
Speaker 9 (04:03):
Once we grant the true loveliness springs from the inner being,
it follows that no exterior impertinence could conceivably veil such loveliness.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Walter, would you go steady with a girl of war glasses? Frankly,
I wouldn't be caught dead with.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
One turn in your figures, dent in your through Come,
come on, we better get started.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I've got an early appointment with the optometrist.
Speaker 9 (04:30):
Oh please don't let it depression, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Remember there's a bright side of this thing too, where
I seem to have misplaced it.
Speaker 9 (04:37):
Well, the eye doctor will put drops into your eyes
as part of the examination, and this makes your vision
all blurry and funny.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh what's so bright about that? Don't you get it?
Speaker 9 (04:47):
Even after you arrive at school, you can be sitting
right in his office with him and not see mister
Conklin all morning long, a lot.
Speaker 11 (04:55):
Of beautiful longing, Oh lot a.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ah, what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day,
you say.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
The hardship for this morning, Daddy.
Speaker 12 (05:15):
Seeing in your office and wearing a big white carnation,
I wish some of the teachers could look at you.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Now, Well, why don't you sell tickets? I'm really trying
to keep up my spirits in the face of the
many obduous beauties I'm called upon to perform.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
Have you completed arrangements Broncle Henry's party tonight?
Speaker 4 (05:34):
And not quite, my dear, but I'll attend to it presently.
Why his bachelor friends insist on giving a man a
party simply because he's going to get married to me?
That's exactly like feeding a bear a nice, big antelope
steak and then pushing him into a trap.
Speaker 10 (05:51):
Why, Daddy, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 12 (05:53):
Stag parties are with all the American customs, but I
think it's flattering that Uncle Henry's friends picked you to
arrange the entertainment.
Speaker 10 (06:00):
This makes the third stag party of arranged, doesn't it?
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Counting the one he left at the altar. This makes
number four for Uncle Henry, and you better run along
to your class, Harriet. I've got several things to attend.
Speaker 10 (06:11):
To, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Don't work too hard.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
I'm trying not to terminal. This is the Principal's office,
as good Conkland himself speaking.
Speaker 13 (06:31):
Hells Conlan, this is missy Leroy. Some friends of your
brother in law told me you were planning a little celebration.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
For him tonight.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Right, Yes, we are going to have a party, but
it's strictly stagg.
Speaker 13 (06:44):
That's strictly why I'm calling. You've seen the chicauquin. I'm
in the entertainment business. You were planning some entertainments for
this evening, weren't you.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Yes, yes, But frankly I thought we'd provide our own merriment.
One of the boys is quite competent on the Cello's
competent on the cello, and if I say so myself,
I'm not a bad hand with the corment.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
What no story?
Speaker 13 (07:15):
Off the confused look, mister Conklan. Your brother in laws
friends could see me dance and starts.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
Theater, and they felt.
Speaker 13 (07:22):
That I could provide just the start of entertainment they
would make your party tonight a bit.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It said, Oh, you're a dancer, and what kind of
dances do you do, miss Lori?
Speaker 13 (07:35):
And that's just I think you'll be pleased. My tea
for the evening is.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Fifty dollars plus an additional.
Speaker 13 (07:46):
Charge is seven fifty what's that for balloon insurance?
Speaker 10 (07:53):
Now about my costume?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Just a minute, just a minute.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You'll have to excuse me now, miss Leroy. I'll take
up this matter of entertainment with some of the other
fellows and then make my decisions.
Speaker 13 (08:06):
Oh, then you want me to contact you later, that
would be fine, Thank you, mister.
Speaker 14 (08:11):
Goodbye, goodbye? Come in, I mean come in.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
How are you today?
Speaker 8 (08:26):
Fine? Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
But I'm at my desk. You're talking to the umbrella stand.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Oh I'm sorry, it's these drops in my eyes. I
just it's a conklin. What's the matter with you?
Speaker 8 (08:39):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
What's the matter with me?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Your face is so white and it's all wrinkled.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
You're looking at the carnation in my button hole. O.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
Thank goodness, I didn't see how your head could be
leaning against your shoulder like.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
This.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Flurry vision should.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Pass in a couple of hours, and then I can
type up the notes you need for the PTA meeting tonight.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That won't be necessary, miss Brooks. My new secretary is
coming in this morning. Besides, I won't be addressing the
PTA members tonight. There's another affair.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I have to attend another affair.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, my brother in law is getting married next week
and we're getting him a little party.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Oh, Henry, who's the lucky for it? Who's going to
address the PTA meeting if you don't show up?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Mister Stone, the head of the Board of Education has
kindly consented to go in my place. You'll be over
this afternoon to pick up my speech. Now, I've got
to leave for a while, so I'll appoint Harriet to
monitor your first class, and I'd like you to stay
here and take charge of my office until the new
secretary arrives. Where are you going, mister Conklin, We're just
chuck full of curiosity today.
Speaker 11 (09:47):
On it.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
So happens that I have a little shopping to do
for the party. Some of Henry's friends will expect a
bit of punch. I'm going to get the fruit for
it now, teaches things.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
Be careful of that fruit. Mister Conklin, What do you mean,
judging from the way your eyes looked after the last
stag you ran into some very bloodshot peaches.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Rusheth.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
The cold gates, cold gate clean water toothpaste, Bara Queen Juty, Coldgate.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Toothpaste, water toothpaste.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Baraquane Juty, Coldgate devil cream cleaned your breath while it
cleaned your teeth, and the cold gateway stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
More than two years research showed the cold gateway of
brushing teeth right after eating helped stop more decay for
more people than ever before reported in Denific's history. Yes,
the cold Gateway stop tooth decay best better than any
other home method.
Speaker 8 (10:55):
Of oral hygiene.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No other Dandiferus ammoniated or not has proof of such results.
And you should know that cold Gates, while not mentioned
by name, was the only toothpaste used in the research
on tooth decay, recently reported in Readers Digest. So always
use cold gates to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and stop tooth decay best. Crash your teeth,
(11:20):
cold gates, clean toothpaste, WI clean dirt, and the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 7 (11:37):
Well.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
When mister Conklin left to go shopping for his brother
in law stag party. I sat in his office and
waited for a his new secretary and b the effects
of my eye drops to wear off.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I got a good idea of the progress I was
making when I answered a knock on his door. Come
in and what can I do for you? Sir?
Speaker 7 (12:04):
The first thing you can do is take another look.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Huh oh, it's a girl.
Speaker 7 (12:09):
Congratulations.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You see I've had some drops in my eyes and
they're still quite blurry. If you'll just take a seat, miss.
Speaker 15 (12:19):
I talked to mister Conklan on the phone a little
while ago.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Of course he's been expecting you. I'm miss Brooks. I
teach English here.
Speaker 7 (12:25):
Oh glad to know you. Where is mister Conton?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He should be back in a very short time. He's
doing some shopping. Why don't you just make yourself comfortable,
miss Leroy?
Speaker 15 (12:34):
Oh, I guess I might as well tell me, Miss Brooks,
do you think mister Conchlan will want to see a sample.
Speaker 7 (12:40):
Of my work?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Well, if I know our beloved principle, he'll want to
see several samples.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
It sounds like he's pretty hard to please.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh, you'll get used to him.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
I'm glad you got here, though if you hadn't, I
would have had to do your work for tonight. I
might not look at but I'm pretty efficient.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Well, you put it fool me? What do you do
teach English on the side?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Or lately that's been just about the size of it.
I've had more outside work than I can handle.
Speaker 7 (13:22):
What do you work with?
Speaker 8 (13:23):
Ms?
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Brooks?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
The usual tools of the tray, some carbon paper and
a typewriter.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
Carbon paper and typewriter.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Of course, if it's a rush job, I just grind
it out with a notebook and pencil.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That's what I call a new wrinkle. How long have
you been doing.
Speaker 7 (13:45):
This sort of work?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Just this season? Mister Conklin's had a tough time finding anybody.
Speaker 7 (13:50):
Oh, he must be pretty particular.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
He is rather temperamental. But if you don't mind a
little shouting now and then, you'll get along fines.
Speaker 7 (13:57):
Well, I'm used to that. I worked at an Elks
con convention. Last night.
Speaker 6 (14:03):
Uh, there's the bell for another class. Now that you're here,
I can run along. Is there anything I can.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Get you before I go?
Speaker 7 (14:11):
And no, thanks, I've got everything i'll.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Need in this bag.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
I'd certainly like to clinch this job.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
There's only one way to do it, mister Leroy. When
mister Conklin gets back, you'll be all ready to work.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Missus Roots coming over to my table, all right, Walter?
My the cafeterias jammed as usual?
Speaker 12 (14:42):
Yeah, that's why I like to get off in the
corner and say where did you get.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
The tortoise show glashes? I just borrowed them from Miss Richardson.
They don't actually do anything for my vision, but I
want to try an experiment.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Oh, where is mister Boynton. Mister Barton?
Speaker 9 (14:58):
Shut you want to see how we react if you
really do have to wear glasses?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Where is he? He's coming through that aisle over there?
What aisle? The same one you're leaving by? I did
not take like a good boy, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (15:12):
How gotta look for Harriet tack when anyway, I'll see
you in the not too distant future.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Or the not too present presents.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
Oh pardon me, miss Brooks, do you mind if I
join you at this table?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Not at all, mister Boyhen, I've been more or less
expecting you.
Speaker 8 (15:26):
Good Now, how does set this trade down?
Speaker 11 (15:29):
Oh?
Speaker 16 (15:29):
I certainly had a difficult morning some of those kids
just flatly refused to learn biology.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So do some adults.
Speaker 17 (15:37):
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Now, if you're here, mister boyntan, do you notice anything
different different? Yes, look closely.
Speaker 8 (15:48):
Well, what do you know about that? They put a
buttl of ketchup on every table.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
It's pretty exciting, especially for people who ever read too.
That's not what I had in mind, mister Boyton. Do
you remember how I looked yesterday?
Speaker 8 (16:07):
At what?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Not as anything. I just want to know how I
look to you when you looked.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
At me, Well, you look fine, Thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Now how do I look to you today?
Speaker 8 (16:22):
Fine?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Let's have a glass of ketchup.
Speaker 16 (16:27):
I don't understand, miss Brooks. Just what is it you'd
like me to observe? Have you got a new hairdo?
Or did you manicicure your nails in a different shade?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
I'll forget about it, mister Barrington. As a matter of fact,
I'm delighted with the result of my little one man
quiz program.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Now let's eat huh very well?
Speaker 8 (16:43):
Why that spinach of yours looks very appetizing, so nice
and green?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's corn beef? Hash? Is this gray stuff over here?
Speaker 16 (16:54):
By the way, Miss Brooks, there's something I meant to
ask you when I first sat down at the table.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
What's that, mister Barton?
Speaker 8 (17:00):
Why are you wearing Miss Richardson's glasses?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
You did notice them?
Speaker 8 (17:09):
Oh?
Speaker 16 (17:09):
Yes, they're quite becoming. As a matter of fact, they
make you look much more mature.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Mature? Do you like me that way?
Speaker 8 (17:17):
Of course? Everything benefits with age.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I'm not ready for old age benefits. I mean, what
about the girl? I was the gay care for youthful girl?
Speaker 8 (17:29):
I didn't know you.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
Then hand me a blotter. I'm giving these eye drops
back to the optometrist.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
Do you mean you've been examined for glasses, miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Mister Conkland insisted, but I still think he's wrong.
Speaker 9 (17:45):
Excuse me, mister Boyton, Miss Brooks, there's something.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I can I tell you. What's the trouble?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Walter?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You look as if you'd seen a ghost.
Speaker 9 (17:52):
I looked into mister Conklin's office for Harriet, and believe me,
what I just saw was no ghost.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
What did you see?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
How?
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Calm down?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I presume you're referring to mister Conklin's new secretary.
Speaker 9 (18:15):
If she's a secretary, I'm gonna study to be a principal.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Beautiful little feet she's got.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Is that all you noticed?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (18:27):
Her dress was beautiful too, I saw it hanging in
the closet. Yeah, she's wearing a French bathing suit. Don't
you see, Miss Brooks. She's no secretary.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
She's a dancer.
Speaker 9 (18:45):
She told me she was trying to get a job
entertaining tonight at a party mister Conklin's giving.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
For his brother in law. His brother in law, Henry.
He's a four time loser.
Speaker 6 (18:56):
You stay right here, Walter, mister Barton, you and I
have got to get that girl out of mister Knk's
office before he comes back.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
There's no time to argue. Mister Stone is coming over
here today too, the head of the Board of Education Cash.
Speaker 9 (19:08):
If he sees what I saw, he'll flip what's left
of his wig.
Speaker 8 (19:14):
This sounds like a crisis. We better take a look
at this creature.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
Turn those optometrists, they never know whose eyes to put
the drops in. We can't just burst into mister Conklin's office.
Mister Boyton, he may have returned.
Speaker 8 (19:33):
You're right, miss Brooks, i'd better knock.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Tell me well, that doesn't sound like mister Conklin. Well,
hell Loo, holy cow. Mister the roy what are you
doing in that French bathing suit?
Speaker 7 (19:54):
Thlowing at my balloon? Were with several of them.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
There's been a terrible misunderstanding. You've got to leave here
at once.
Speaker 7 (20:04):
Oh what's the hurry?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Honey?
Speaker 7 (20:07):
Don't you think you should introduce me.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
To your friends?
Speaker 8 (20:10):
No?
Speaker 6 (20:10):
I don't.
Speaker 16 (20:14):
That is very polite, Miss Brooks. Miss Leroy, my name
is Philip Point and I teach biology here.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
What time, please, Miss Leroy?
Speaker 8 (20:25):
You ought to put some more clothes on.
Speaker 16 (20:27):
She'll catch her death of cold that way, don't you
think so, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, but not soon enough, as miss Luri. I'll help
you get dress.
Speaker 15 (20:34):
Oh they're on that chair by the desk. But I've
got to do an audition for the shot tonight. You
told me yourself to get ready, Miss Brooks. That's when
I thought you were a secretary. Now will you please
put your dress on?
Speaker 8 (20:43):
It's too late, Miness Brice. Mister Conklin just coming in
the front eye arms with a windows.
Speaker 7 (20:47):
Well, it's about time he showed up.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Who oh home, Miss Brooke, Miss Biden, Hello, hello.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Hello, mis.
Speaker 8 (21:01):
Holy time, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
I left you in charge of this office. What is
this woman doing here in that get.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Up, she's just blowing up her balloons.
Speaker 7 (21:21):
And mister Conston, I felt you on the phone. Don't
you remember how did you get in here? Mister let
me in. She's the one who told me to get
ready for my audition.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
That was when my eyes were still blurred from the
drops this morning, mister Conglan.
Speaker 8 (21:33):
I thought you and your lame excuses.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Do you realize that, mister Stone is do you here
any moment to pick up a speech I wrote for
the PTA meeting tonight?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Mister do you realize further that the title of that
speech is propriety in our schools? I don't have to
switch on? Holy cow?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
How am I going to explain this woman to mister Stone?
Speaker 16 (21:54):
Or maybe maybe we could say she's one of the students,
mister Conklan, one of the students standing in my office
and a French bathing suits.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
We could say she just got out of French class.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Now, mister Roy, please, you've got to hide.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Hide, but where?
Speaker 8 (22:12):
Well? In my closet, that's it.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
Take your balloons and get in that coat closet.
Speaker 7 (22:17):
WHOA, but it's dark in there. I'm afraid to stay
in the dark alone.
Speaker 8 (22:21):
If you want me to, I'll go into the closet
with her, mister concor.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Over my dead body.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
You'll just take a few minutes, right, please, mister I'll
engage you for the night's party for any fee you
name if you just get into.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
That closet and stayed it.
Speaker 13 (22:44):
Well, if it's really a deal, I might as well cooperate,
but try and make it snappy.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
I'm getting a little chilly.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Now, what if you do please help me get rid
of mister Stone in a hurry.
Speaker 8 (22:54):
We'll do our best, mister.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
Well, look who here, mister Conklin. It's mister Stone.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Why so idy? Are you expecting Gypsy rose Lean? That's
a good one.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
My appointment, mister pointed and Miss Brooks were just discussing
some details at the PTA meeting tonight, mister Stone. But
unfortunately my new secretary hasn't arrived, so the notes aren't
typed up.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
However, if you'll come back in an hour, I'll have
them all ready for you. Goodbye, mister Stone.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
I'll walk you to the door if you like.
Speaker 12 (23:34):
I'm not so fast.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I'd like to sit down chat.
Speaker 8 (23:36):
For a moment. I was good.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Sit down, very well, sit right here by my desk,
mister Stone, I'll just take these silk stockings and other garments.
Speaker 7 (23:45):
Of soup stockings.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Silk stockings. What is all this feminine Harold doing in
your office? I was good. Oh that must be the
stuff you just bought for your wife, mister Conklin.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Yes, the clothing you were telling us about.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
None of this is wrapped, and those garments look as
if they've just been worn.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Well, uh uh, mister Conklin and his wife are both
the same size. And somebody's got it. Now you've finished
chatting with mister.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Con I have not finished. How about the speech? Your
reck now is good? I wait a minute, that's very strange.
What's very strange?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
There were four go sun heights.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
And only one sneeze. All four of us said, good
Sun Height?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Who sneezed?
Speaker 8 (24:43):
It was probably just an auditory illusion, mister Stone. Sometimes you.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I mean, I must be catching a cold.
Speaker 8 (24:57):
That sounded like it came from the coat.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Closet, the code closet.
Speaker 6 (25:01):
Oh please, mister Stone, I know it's drafty in there,
but who ever heard of a mall sneezing?
Speaker 8 (25:07):
Whoever heard of a moth sneezing?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
That's rich, bless me bless me. One of those sneezes
came from inside that closet.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
That's absurd, mister Stone.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Now let me tell you about the speechs tonight.
Speaker 8 (25:20):
In it, I have shown.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Conclusively I believe that overly progressive methods of running a
school are not always the best. No, indeed, that's one
bubble I have always tried to burst. There's something funny
going on here, and I'm going to find out what
it is.
Speaker 8 (25:37):
Come out of that closet, whoever.
Speaker 7 (25:39):
You are, Why, hello, mister Stone.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Holy cow, it was right there goes what's left of
his wig.
Speaker 14 (25:56):
Explained to mister Stone.
Speaker 15 (25:57):
Oh, you don't have to explain you Why mister Stone,
I'm sure he remembers little Missy from the Elk's convention
he attended last week.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
Hello, Missy, So you know each other?
Speaker 13 (26:14):
Certainly, mister Stone and I got acquainted at that convention.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
But i'd better be getting on home now.
Speaker 16 (26:21):
Can somebody give me a lib Well, I'll be glad
to drive you if you have no transportation.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
She has no transportation, he says. Listen, mister Boyne, mister
Stone can drive miss Leroy home their fellow Elk.
Speaker 8 (26:32):
But I joined our local lodge the other night. That
makes me a brand new Elk too.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Well, if you want to live to be an old elk,
you'll keep your antlers out of this whole deal.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Body it all.
Speaker 8 (26:53):
Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (27:01):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Tonight, Yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Luster Cream World's finest shampoo.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
No other shampoo in the world gives you kdom its
magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin better than
a soap, better than a liquid. Luster Cream is an
eighty cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean,
free of loostandriff, glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even in
(27:34):
hardest water. Luster cream lathers instantly. No special rintse needed
after a luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream is
wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster
cream shampoo.
Speaker 17 (27:49):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful Luster Cream Girl. You your
crowning glorryoo A lost to cream shampoooo.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
And now once again here is ar Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (28:08):
Well, as soon as I got home after school, I
told Missus Davis all about the day's events.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
When I had finished, she plucked sympathetically. Luck cluck cluck
for a day.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
But at least you've still got a pleasant you need
to look forward to. You've got a date with mister Bornton.
Speaker 8 (28:23):
Haven't you.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
I thought I did, but he just called to tell
me he's going to the party mister Conklin's giving for
his brother in law. On top of that, the new
secretary never did show up, so I'll be saddled with all.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
That extra work this week.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
That's too bad, Connie, but I'm particularly sorry to hear
that you have no date for tonight.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
It's just as well, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It'll give me a chance to practice practice black Honnie taking.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
No blowing up a balloon without getting two winded to dam.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Missus binding the next week to another armist brook show
brought to you. I lest for preen xample with the glamorous,
the wreck of her hair and cold date detlecreen between
your breath, Why do your teeth and help stop tooth
decay our Miss Brooks starring e Varden, is produced by
Larry Burns, written by Al Lewis, with the music of
Wilbra Hatch. Doctors prove Palmala soap can bring you a
(29:13):
lovelier complexion in fourteen days. Yes, thirty six leading skin
specialists prove in tests on twelve hundred and eighty five
different women that Palmala soap facials using nothing but palmalov
brought you complexion beauty. The two women out of three
just wash your face three times daily with Palmala soap,
each time for sixty seconds, massaging Pamalav's beauty lather onto
your skin, then rinse and pat dry. So start your
(29:36):
Pamala facials today. Remember, doctors prove Palmala soap can bring
you a lovelier complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
This is CBS for Columbia Broadcasting System.
Coldgate Bettle cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and lust. Your
cream tampoo for salt, glamorous caressible hair bring you Our
Miss Brooks starring e Varden.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's time once again for.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks under the direction
of l lewis Well. The past few days haven't been
easy ones for our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at
Madison High School.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It seems that she is called upon to assume additional duties.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Whenever mister Conklin, Madison's beloved principle, loses a secretary. At
breakfast Thursday morning, Miss Brooks discussed her plight with her Landlady.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It's not only the added work that bothers me, missus Davis,
it's mister Conkland's temper.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
I know Connie Osgood is a natural born sourball.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Lemon flavored. No wonder he can't keep the secretary.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Why do you realize that since the fault where him started,
he lost three of them.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Three secretaries in a month. How is that possible?
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Well, the first one lasted the week she quit because
she couldn't stand is yelling. The second one quit after
four days for the same reason, and the third secretary
left before she even started.
Speaker 7 (01:16):
Why did the third one quit?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
She heard sourball screaming at the second one. He has
another one coming over today, and believe me, it's not
a minute too soon.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
You've been doing an awful lot of explorort this task week.
Has mister Counton given you anything for it?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
He's given me plenty, But I just don't listen.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
What annoys me more than anything else, though, is his
latest suggestion that I need glasses.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Glasses, but you're Beatingish twenty twenty, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Sure?
Speaker 6 (01:45):
Sure, at least as far as I know. But I
made a few mistakes in typing yesterday and he insisted
that I stopped in and as an optometrist this morning
and get a prescription for glasses.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I think it's so high here.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
There's nothing serious about wearing glasses now here.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
He's your apple fritters. I'll say they look good. What's
this brown stuff next to them?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
That's apple butter? Or if you'd rather have apple jerry
that's in dusky.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
She'll be here.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
You're the picture of apple juice.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You see.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
I'm celebrating National Apple wheet this morning.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I would never have guessed, Oh that's Walter Demon. He's
going to drop me at the optometriss this morning. The
doors open, Water, come on in.
Speaker 7 (02:35):
Do you think you want something to eat?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You'll want everything to.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Eat, fair lady?
Speaker 7 (02:43):
And what is this I see before me?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Apple fritters? Here's a fork? Fill your face? How about you,
Miss Brooks? I don't feel very hungry this morning.
Speaker 8 (02:53):
Water.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The possibility of my having to wear glasses has gotten
me down.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I guess I think that's absurd myself. I wish you'd
tell miss Brooks how little wearing glasses will affect her looks.
Speaker 9 (03:04):
Oh sure, Oh you shouldn't worry about glasses hurting your looks.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Miss Brooks. I shouldn't, of course.
Speaker 9 (03:09):
Not nothing could do that. What I mean is, well,
you don't even know if you need glasses yet, so
why should you worry now about how mister Boynton is
going to react?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It hasn't when he sees you with glasses on. I
don't recall mentioning mister Boynton in this conversation. You don't
have to.
Speaker 9 (03:31):
His name shines out of your eyes like neon.
Speaker 10 (03:35):
But even if you.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Do, put goggles on, I'm sure.
Speaker 9 (03:38):
That mister Boynt will feel just like any.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Other average male feels about it. How is that?
Speaker 9 (03:43):
Well, most men feel that glasses are merely an inconsequential,
man made accouterment, And the real beauty of a woman
is what lies within herself, and the quality is admired
by men of.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Taste and sensitivity, are.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Of the mind and the soul.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Please go on, doctor fud.
Speaker 9 (04:03):
Once we grant the true loveliness springs from the inner being,
it follows that no exterior impertinence could conceivably veil such loveliness.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Walter, would you go steady with a girl of war glasses? Frankly,
I wouldn't be caught dead with.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
One turn in your figures, dent in your through Come,
come on, we better get started.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I've got an early appointment with the optometrist.
Speaker 9 (04:30):
Oh please don't let it depression, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Remember there's a bright side of this thing too, where
I seem to have misplaced it.
Speaker 9 (04:37):
Well, the eye doctor will put drops into your eyes
as part of the examination, and this makes your vision
all blurry and funny.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh what's so bright about that? Don't you get it?
Speaker 9 (04:47):
Even after you arrive at school, you can be sitting
right in his office with him and not see mister
Conklin all morning long, a lot.
Speaker 11 (04:55):
Of beautiful longing, Oh lot a.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ah, what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day,
you say.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
The hardship for this morning, Daddy.
Speaker 12 (05:15):
Seeing in your office and wearing a big white carnation,
I wish some of the teachers could look at you.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Now, Well, why don't you sell tickets? I'm really trying
to keep up my spirits in the face of the
many obduous beauties I'm called upon to perform.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
Have you completed arrangements Broncle Henry's party tonight?
Speaker 4 (05:34):
And not quite, my dear, but I'll attend to it presently.
Why his bachelor friends insist on giving a man a
party simply because he's going to get married to me?
That's exactly like feeding a bear a nice, big antelope
steak and then pushing him into a trap.
Speaker 10 (05:51):
Why, Daddy, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 12 (05:53):
Stag parties are with all the American customs, but I
think it's flattering that Uncle Henry's friends picked you to
arrange the entertainment.
Speaker 10 (06:00):
This makes the third stag party of arranged, doesn't it?
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Counting the one he left at the altar. This makes
number four for Uncle Henry, and you better run along
to your class, Harriet. I've got several things to attend.
Speaker 10 (06:11):
To, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Don't work too hard.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
I'm trying not to terminal. This is the Principal's office,
as good Conkland himself speaking.
Speaker 13 (06:31):
Hells Conlan, this is missy Leroy. Some friends of your
brother in law told me you were planning a little celebration.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
For him tonight.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Right, Yes, we are going to have a party, but
it's strictly stagg.
Speaker 13 (06:44):
That's strictly why I'm calling. You've seen the chicauquin. I'm
in the entertainment business. You were planning some entertainments for
this evening, weren't you.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Yes, yes, But frankly I thought we'd provide our own merriment.
One of the boys is quite competent on the Cello's
competent on the cello, and if I say so myself,
I'm not a bad hand with the corment.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
What no story?
Speaker 13 (07:15):
Off the confused look, mister Conklan. Your brother in laws
friends could see me dance and starts.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
Theater, and they felt.
Speaker 13 (07:22):
That I could provide just the start of entertainment they
would make your party tonight a bit.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It said, Oh, you're a dancer, and what kind of
dances do you do, miss Lori?
Speaker 13 (07:35):
And that's just I think you'll be pleased. My tea
for the evening is.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Fifty dollars plus an additional.
Speaker 13 (07:46):
Charge is seven fifty what's that for balloon insurance?
Speaker 10 (07:53):
Now about my costume?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Just a minute, just a minute.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You'll have to excuse me now, miss Leroy. I'll take
up this matter of entertainment with some of the other
fellows and then make my decisions.
Speaker 13 (08:06):
Oh, then you want me to contact you later, that
would be fine, Thank you, mister.
Speaker 14 (08:11):
Goodbye, goodbye? Come in, I mean come in.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
How are you today?
Speaker 8 (08:26):
Fine? Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
But I'm at my desk. You're talking to the umbrella stand.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Oh I'm sorry, it's these drops in my eyes. I
just it's a conklin. What's the matter with you?
Speaker 8 (08:39):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
What's the matter with me?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Your face is so white and it's all wrinkled.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
You're looking at the carnation in my button hole. O.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
Thank goodness, I didn't see how your head could be
leaning against your shoulder like.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
This.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Flurry vision should.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Pass in a couple of hours, and then I can
type up the notes you need for the PTA meeting tonight.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That won't be necessary, miss Brooks. My new secretary is
coming in this morning. Besides, I won't be addressing the
PTA members tonight. There's another affair.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I have to attend another affair.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, my brother in law is getting married next week
and we're getting him a little party.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Oh, Henry, who's the lucky for it? Who's going to
address the PTA meeting if you don't show up?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Mister Stone, the head of the Board of Education has
kindly consented to go in my place. You'll be over
this afternoon to pick up my speech. Now, I've got
to leave for a while, so I'll appoint Harriet to
monitor your first class, and I'd like you to stay
here and take charge of my office until the new
secretary arrives. Where are you going, mister Conklin, We're just
chuck full of curiosity today.
Speaker 11 (09:47):
On it.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
So happens that I have a little shopping to do
for the party. Some of Henry's friends will expect a
bit of punch. I'm going to get the fruit for
it now, teaches things.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
Be careful of that fruit. Mister Conklin, What do you mean,
judging from the way your eyes looked after the last
stag you ran into some very bloodshot peaches.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Rusheth.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
The cold gates, cold gate clean water toothpaste, Bara Queen Juty, Coldgate.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Toothpaste, water toothpaste.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Baraquane Juty, Coldgate devil cream cleaned your breath while it
cleaned your teeth, and the cold gateway stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
More than two years research showed the cold gateway of
brushing teeth right after eating helped stop more decay for
more people than ever before reported in Denific's history. Yes,
the cold Gateway stop tooth decay best better than any
other home method.
Speaker 8 (10:55):
Of oral hygiene.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No other Dandiferus ammoniated or not has proof of such results.
And you should know that cold Gates, while not mentioned
by name, was the only toothpaste used in the research
on tooth decay, recently reported in Readers Digest. So always
use cold gates to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and stop tooth decay best. Crash your teeth,
(11:20):
cold gates, clean toothpaste, WI clean dirt, and the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 7 (11:37):
Well.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
When mister Conklin left to go shopping for his brother
in law stag party. I sat in his office and
waited for a his new secretary and b the effects
of my eye drops to wear off.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I got a good idea of the progress I was
making when I answered a knock on his door. Come
in and what can I do for you? Sir?
Speaker 7 (12:04):
The first thing you can do is take another look.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Huh oh, it's a girl.
Speaker 7 (12:09):
Congratulations.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You see I've had some drops in my eyes and
they're still quite blurry. If you'll just take a seat, miss.
Speaker 15 (12:19):
I talked to mister Conklan on the phone a little
while ago.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Of course he's been expecting you. I'm miss Brooks. I
teach English here.
Speaker 7 (12:25):
Oh glad to know you. Where is mister Conton?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He should be back in a very short time. He's
doing some shopping. Why don't you just make yourself comfortable,
miss Leroy?
Speaker 15 (12:34):
Oh, I guess I might as well tell me, Miss Brooks,
do you think mister Conchlan will want to see a sample.
Speaker 7 (12:40):
Of my work?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Well, if I know our beloved principle, he'll want to
see several samples.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
It sounds like he's pretty hard to please.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh, you'll get used to him.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
I'm glad you got here, though if you hadn't, I
would have had to do your work for tonight. I
might not look at but I'm pretty efficient.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Well, you put it fool me? What do you do
teach English on the side?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Or lately that's been just about the size of it.
I've had more outside work than I can handle.
Speaker 7 (13:22):
What do you work with?
Speaker 8 (13:23):
Ms?
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Brooks?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
The usual tools of the tray, some carbon paper and
a typewriter.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
Carbon paper and typewriter.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Of course, if it's a rush job, I just grind
it out with a notebook and pencil.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That's what I call a new wrinkle. How long have
you been doing.
Speaker 7 (13:45):
This sort of work?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Just this season? Mister Conklin's had a tough time finding anybody.
Speaker 7 (13:50):
Oh, he must be pretty particular.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
He is rather temperamental. But if you don't mind a
little shouting now and then, you'll get along fines.
Speaker 7 (13:57):
Well, I'm used to that. I worked at an Elks
con convention. Last night.
Speaker 6 (14:03):
Uh, there's the bell for another class. Now that you're here,
I can run along. Is there anything I can.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Get you before I go?
Speaker 7 (14:11):
And no, thanks, I've got everything i'll.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Need in this bag.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
I'd certainly like to clinch this job.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
There's only one way to do it, mister Leroy. When
mister Conklin gets back, you'll be all ready to work.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Missus Roots coming over to my table, all right, Walter?
My the cafeterias jammed as usual?
Speaker 12 (14:42):
Yeah, that's why I like to get off in the
corner and say where did you get.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
The tortoise show glashes? I just borrowed them from Miss Richardson.
They don't actually do anything for my vision, but I
want to try an experiment.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Oh, where is mister Boynton. Mister Barton?
Speaker 9 (14:58):
Shut you want to see how we react if you
really do have to wear glasses?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Where is he? He's coming through that aisle over there?
What aisle? The same one you're leaving by? I did
not take like a good boy, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (15:12):
How gotta look for Harriet tack when anyway, I'll see
you in the not too distant future.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Or the not too present presents.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
Oh pardon me, miss Brooks, do you mind if I
join you at this table?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Not at all, mister Boyhen, I've been more or less
expecting you.
Speaker 8 (15:26):
Good Now, how does set this trade down?
Speaker 11 (15:29):
Oh?
Speaker 16 (15:29):
I certainly had a difficult morning some of those kids
just flatly refused to learn biology.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So do some adults.
Speaker 17 (15:37):
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Now, if you're here, mister boyntan, do you notice anything
different different? Yes, look closely.
Speaker 8 (15:48):
Well, what do you know about that? They put a
buttl of ketchup on every table.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
It's pretty exciting, especially for people who ever read too.
That's not what I had in mind, mister Boyton. Do
you remember how I looked yesterday?
Speaker 8 (16:07):
At what?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Not as anything. I just want to know how I
look to you when you looked.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
At me, Well, you look fine, Thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Now how do I look to you today?
Speaker 8 (16:22):
Fine?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Let's have a glass of ketchup.
Speaker 16 (16:27):
I don't understand, miss Brooks. Just what is it you'd
like me to observe? Have you got a new hairdo?
Or did you manicicure your nails in a different shade?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
I'll forget about it, mister Barrington. As a matter of fact,
I'm delighted with the result of my little one man
quiz program.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Now let's eat huh very well?
Speaker 8 (16:43):
Why that spinach of yours looks very appetizing, so nice
and green?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's corn beef? Hash? Is this gray stuff over here?
Speaker 16 (16:54):
By the way, Miss Brooks, there's something I meant to
ask you when I first sat down at the table.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
What's that, mister Barton?
Speaker 8 (17:00):
Why are you wearing Miss Richardson's glasses?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
You did notice them?
Speaker 8 (17:09):
Oh?
Speaker 16 (17:09):
Yes, they're quite becoming. As a matter of fact, they
make you look much more mature.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Mature? Do you like me that way?
Speaker 8 (17:17):
Of course? Everything benefits with age.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I'm not ready for old age benefits. I mean, what
about the girl? I was the gay care for youthful girl?
Speaker 8 (17:29):
I didn't know you.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
Then hand me a blotter. I'm giving these eye drops
back to the optometrist.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
Do you mean you've been examined for glasses, miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Mister Conkland insisted, but I still think he's wrong.
Speaker 9 (17:45):
Excuse me, mister Boyton, Miss Brooks, there's something.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I can I tell you. What's the trouble?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Walter?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You look as if you'd seen a ghost.
Speaker 9 (17:52):
I looked into mister Conklin's office for Harriet, and believe me,
what I just saw was no ghost.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
What did you see?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
How?
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Calm down?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I presume you're referring to mister Conklin's new secretary.
Speaker 9 (18:15):
If she's a secretary, I'm gonna study to be a principal.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Beautiful little feet she's got.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Is that all you noticed?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (18:27):
Her dress was beautiful too, I saw it hanging in
the closet. Yeah, she's wearing a French bathing suit. Don't
you see, Miss Brooks. She's no secretary.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
She's a dancer.
Speaker 9 (18:45):
She told me she was trying to get a job
entertaining tonight at a party mister Conklin's giving.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
For his brother in law. His brother in law, Henry.
He's a four time loser.
Speaker 6 (18:56):
You stay right here, Walter, mister Barton, you and I
have got to get that girl out of mister Knk's
office before he comes back.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
There's no time to argue. Mister Stone is coming over
here today too, the head of the Board of Education Cash.
Speaker 9 (19:08):
If he sees what I saw, he'll flip what's left
of his wig.
Speaker 8 (19:14):
This sounds like a crisis. We better take a look
at this creature.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
Turn those optometrists, they never know whose eyes to put
the drops in. We can't just burst into mister Conklin's office.
Mister Boyton, he may have returned.
Speaker 8 (19:33):
You're right, miss Brooks, i'd better knock.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Tell me well, that doesn't sound like mister Conklin. Well,
hell Loo, holy cow. Mister the roy what are you
doing in that French bathing suit?
Speaker 7 (19:54):
Thlowing at my balloon? Were with several of them.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
There's been a terrible misunderstanding. You've got to leave here
at once.
Speaker 7 (20:04):
Oh what's the hurry?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Honey?
Speaker 7 (20:07):
Don't you think you should introduce me.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
To your friends?
Speaker 8 (20:10):
No?
Speaker 6 (20:10):
I don't.
Speaker 16 (20:14):
That is very polite, Miss Brooks. Miss Leroy, my name
is Philip Point and I teach biology here.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
What time, please, Miss Leroy?
Speaker 8 (20:25):
You ought to put some more clothes on.
Speaker 16 (20:27):
She'll catch her death of cold that way, don't you
think so, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, but not soon enough, as miss Luri. I'll help
you get dress.
Speaker 15 (20:34):
Oh they're on that chair by the desk. But I've
got to do an audition for the shot tonight. You
told me yourself to get ready, Miss Brooks. That's when
I thought you were a secretary. Now will you please
put your dress on?
Speaker 8 (20:43):
It's too late, Miness Brice. Mister Conklin just coming in
the front eye arms with a windows.
Speaker 7 (20:47):
Well, it's about time he showed up.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Who oh home, Miss Brooke, Miss Biden, Hello, hello.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Hello, mis.
Speaker 8 (21:01):
Holy time, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
I left you in charge of this office. What is
this woman doing here in that get.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Up, she's just blowing up her balloons.
Speaker 7 (21:21):
And mister Conston, I felt you on the phone. Don't
you remember how did you get in here? Mister let
me in. She's the one who told me to get
ready for my audition.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
That was when my eyes were still blurred from the
drops this morning, mister Conglan.
Speaker 8 (21:33):
I thought you and your lame excuses.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Do you realize that, mister Stone is do you here
any moment to pick up a speech I wrote for
the PTA meeting tonight?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Mister do you realize further that the title of that
speech is propriety in our schools? I don't have to
switch on? Holy cow?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
How am I going to explain this woman to mister Stone?
Speaker 16 (21:54):
Or maybe maybe we could say she's one of the students,
mister Conklan, one of the students standing in my office
and a French bathing suits.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
We could say she just got out of French class.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Now, mister Roy, please, you've got to hide.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Hide, but where?
Speaker 8 (22:12):
Well? In my closet, that's it.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
Take your balloons and get in that coat closet.
Speaker 7 (22:17):
WHOA, but it's dark in there. I'm afraid to stay
in the dark alone.
Speaker 8 (22:21):
If you want me to, I'll go into the closet
with her, mister concor.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Over my dead body.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
You'll just take a few minutes, right, please, mister I'll
engage you for the night's party for any fee you
name if you just get into.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
That closet and stayed it.
Speaker 13 (22:44):
Well, if it's really a deal, I might as well cooperate,
but try and make it snappy.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
I'm getting a little chilly.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Now, what if you do please help me get rid
of mister Stone in a hurry.
Speaker 8 (22:54):
We'll do our best, mister.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
Well, look who here, mister Conklin. It's mister Stone.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Why so idy? Are you expecting Gypsy rose Lean? That's
a good one.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
My appointment, mister pointed and Miss Brooks were just discussing
some details at the PTA meeting tonight, mister Stone. But
unfortunately my new secretary hasn't arrived, so the notes aren't
typed up.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
However, if you'll come back in an hour, I'll have
them all ready for you. Goodbye, mister Stone.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
I'll walk you to the door if you like.
Speaker 12 (23:34):
I'm not so fast.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I'd like to sit down chat.
Speaker 8 (23:36):
For a moment. I was good.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Sit down, very well, sit right here by my desk,
mister Stone, I'll just take these silk stockings and other garments.
Speaker 7 (23:45):
Of soup stockings.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Silk stockings. What is all this feminine Harold doing in
your office? I was good. Oh that must be the
stuff you just bought for your wife, mister Conklin.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Yes, the clothing you were telling us about.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
None of this is wrapped, and those garments look as
if they've just been worn.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Well, uh uh, mister Conklin and his wife are both
the same size. And somebody's got it. Now you've finished
chatting with mister.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Con I have not finished. How about the speech? Your
reck now is good? I wait a minute, that's very strange.
What's very strange?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
There were four go sun heights.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
And only one sneeze. All four of us said, good
Sun Height?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Who sneezed?
Speaker 8 (24:43):
It was probably just an auditory illusion, mister Stone. Sometimes you.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I mean, I must be catching a cold.
Speaker 8 (24:57):
That sounded like it came from the coat.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Closet, the code closet.
Speaker 6 (25:01):
Oh please, mister Stone, I know it's drafty in there,
but who ever heard of a mall sneezing?
Speaker 8 (25:07):
Whoever heard of a moth sneezing?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
That's rich, bless me bless me. One of those sneezes
came from inside that closet.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
That's absurd, mister Stone.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Now let me tell you about the speechs tonight.
Speaker 8 (25:20):
In it, I have shown.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Conclusively I believe that overly progressive methods of running a
school are not always the best. No, indeed, that's one
bubble I have always tried to burst. There's something funny
going on here, and I'm going to find out what
it is.
Speaker 8 (25:37):
Come out of that closet, whoever.
Speaker 7 (25:39):
You are, Why, hello, mister Stone.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Holy cow, it was right there goes what's left of
his wig.
Speaker 14 (25:56):
Explained to mister Stone.
Speaker 15 (25:57):
Oh, you don't have to explain you Why mister Stone,
I'm sure he remembers little Missy from the Elk's convention
he attended last week.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
Hello, Missy, So you know each other?
Speaker 13 (26:14):
Certainly, mister Stone and I got acquainted at that convention.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
But i'd better be getting on home now.
Speaker 16 (26:21):
Can somebody give me a lib Well, I'll be glad
to drive you if you have no transportation.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
She has no transportation, he says. Listen, mister Boyne, mister
Stone can drive miss Leroy home their fellow Elk.
Speaker 8 (26:32):
But I joined our local lodge the other night. That
makes me a brand new Elk too.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Well, if you want to live to be an old elk,
you'll keep your antlers out of this whole deal.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Body it all.
Speaker 8 (26:53):
Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (27:01):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Tonight, Yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Luster Cream World's finest shampoo.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
No other shampoo in the world gives you kdom its
magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin better than
a soap, better than a liquid. Luster Cream is an
eighty cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean,
free of loostandriff, glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even in
(27:34):
hardest water. Luster cream lathers instantly. No special rintse needed
after a luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream is
wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster
cream shampoo.
Speaker 17 (27:49):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful Luster Cream Girl. You your
crowning glorryoo A lost to cream shampoooo.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
And now once again here is ar Miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (28:08):
Well, as soon as I got home after school, I
told Missus Davis all about the day's events.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
When I had finished, she plucked sympathetically. Luck cluck cluck
for a day.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
But at least you've still got a pleasant you need
to look forward to. You've got a date with mister Bornton.
Speaker 8 (28:23):
Haven't you.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
I thought I did, but he just called to tell
me he's going to the party mister Conklin's giving for
his brother in law. On top of that, the new
secretary never did show up, so I'll be saddled with all.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
That extra work this week.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
That's too bad, Connie, but I'm particularly sorry to hear
that you have no date for tonight.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
It's just as well, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It'll give me a chance to practice practice black Honnie taking.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
No blowing up a balloon without getting two winded to dam.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Missus binding the next week to another armist brook show
brought to you. I lest for preen xample with the glamorous,
the wreck of her hair and cold date detlecreen between
your breath, Why do your teeth and help stop tooth
decay our Miss Brooks starring e Varden, is produced by
Larry Burns, written by Al Lewis, with the music of
Wilbra Hatch. Doctors prove Palmala soap can bring you a
(29:13):
lovelier complexion in fourteen days. Yes, thirty six leading skin
specialists prove in tests on twelve hundred and eighty five
different women that Palmala soap facials using nothing but palmalov
brought you complexion beauty. The two women out of three
just wash your face three times daily with Palmala soap,
each time for sixty seconds, massaging Pamalav's beauty lather onto
your skin, then rinse and pat dry. So start your
(29:36):
Pamala facials today. Remember, doctors prove Palmala soap can bring
you a lovelier complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
This is CBS for Columbia Broadcasting System.
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