Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A matter of magnitude by Al Sevcik. When you're commanding
a spaceship over a mile long and armed to the teeth,
you don't exactly expect to be told to get the
hell out. The ship, for reasons that had to do
with the politics of appropriations, was named Senator Joseph L. Holloway,
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but the press and the public called her Big Joe.
Her captain, six Star Admiral Heselton thought of her as
great Big Joe and never fully got over being awestruck
at the size of his command. She's a mighty big ship, Rogers,
he said proudly to the navigator, ignoring the latter's rather
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vacant stare and fixed smile. More than a mile long
and wider than hell. He waved his hands expansively. She's
never touched down on Earth, you know, never will. Too
big for that. They belt her on the moon, the
cost well. Whippling his chair around, Hesselton slowly surveyed the
ship's control room with a small, satisfied smile. The two
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pilots sitting far forward, almost hidden by their banks of instruments,
the radar operators idly watching their scopes. The three flight
engineers sitting intently at their enormous control consoles and just
behind the radio shack its closed door, undoubtedly hiding a
game of cards for weeks now, As Big Joe moved
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across the galaxy's uncharted fringe, the radio bands had been
completely dead, except of course, for the usual star static
hissing and burbling in the background. Turning back again to
his navigator, Heselton smiled modestly and noted that Big Joe
was undisputedly the largest, most powerful, most feared, and most
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effective spaceship in the known universe. As always, Rogers nodded agreement.
The fact that he'd heard it a hundred times didn't
make it any less true. Big Joe, armed with everywhere
and known the Terran technology, was literally the battleship to
end all battleships. Ending battleships and battles was in fact
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her job, and she did it well. For the first time,
the galaxy was at peace. With a relaxed sigh, Heselton
leaned back to gaze at the stars and contemplate the
vastness of the universe, compared to which even Big Joe
was an insignificant dot. Well said rogers. Time for another
course check. I'll jump back, barely avoiding the worried lieutenant
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to explode it upon them. From the radio shack a signal, Sir,
damn close on the VHF band. Their transmission is completely
overriding the background noise. He waved excitedly to someone in
the radio shack, and an overhead speaker came to life,
emitting a distinct clacking, grunting sound. It's audio of some sort, sir,
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but there's a lot more to the signal than that.
In one motion, Heselton's chair snapped for forward, his right
fist hit the red emergency alert button on his desk,
and his left snapped on. The ship's intercom lights dimmed. Momentarily,
his powerful emergency drive unit snapped into action, and the
ship echoed with the sound of two thousand men running
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to battle stations. Bridge to radar, report, radar to bridge.
All clear. Heselton stared incredulously at the intercom. What radar
to bridge, repeating all clear, Admiral, We've got two men
on every scope. There's nothing anywhere. A new voice cut
in on the speaker. Radio track to Bridge. Frowning, Heselton answered, Bridge,
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come in radio track. We're listening, sir. The crisp voice
of the radio track section commander had an excited tinge, sir.
Doppler calculations show that the source of those signals is
slowing down somewhere to our right. It's acting like a
space ship, Sir. That's coming to a halt. The admiral
locked eyes with rogers for a second and shrugged, slow
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the ship and circle right radio track. Can you keep
me posted on the object's position. No, can't do, sir.
Doppler effect can't be used on a slow moving source.
It's still off to our right. But that's the best
I can say, sir. Another voice chimed in. This is
fire control. We've got our directional antennas on the thing.
It's either directly right or directly left of the ship,
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matching speed with us exactly either to our right or left.
That's the best we can do, sir, without radar help, Admiral, Sir,
the lieutenant who had first reported the signal came running back.
Judging from the frequency and strength, we think it's probably
less than one hundred miles away, less than a Of course,
we can't be positive, sir. Heselton whirled back to the
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intercom radar. That thing is practically on our necks. What
the hell's the matter with that equipment? The radar commander's
voice showed distinct signs of strain. Can't help it, Admiral.
The equipment is working perfectly. We've tried the complete range
of frequencies. Twenty five different sets are in operation. We're
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going blind looking. There is absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
For a moment, the bridge was silent, except for the
clacking grunting from the overhead speaker, which, if anything, sounded
louder than before. It's TV, Sir. The radio lieutenant came
running in again. We've unscrambled the image here. The communication
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screen on Heselton's desk glowed for a moment, then flashed
into life. The figure was clearly alien, though startlingly humanoid,
at least from the waist up, which was all that
showed in the screen. A large mouth and slightly bulging
eyes gave it a somewhat jovial froglike demeanor. Seated at
a desk similar to Heselton's, wearing a gaudy uniform profusely
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strewn with a variety of insignia, it was obviously Heselton's counterpart,
the commander of an alien vessel. Hmmm, looks like we've
contacted a new race. Let's return the call, Lieutenant. A
tiny red light glowed beneath a miniature camera on Heselton's desk,
and almost at once, the alien's face registered obvious satisfaction.
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It waved a six fingered hand in an unorthodox but
friendly greeting. Heselton waved back. The alien then pointed to
his mouth, made several clacking, grunting sounds, and moved a
hand on his desk. The scene switched to another alien
sitting in front of what looked like a blackboard with
a piece of chalk in his hand. A meaning was clear, Lieutenant,
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have this transmission switch to the linguistic section. Maybe those
guys can work out some sort of language. The screen
blanked out. Heselton leaned back, tense, obviously worried hesitantly, he
reached out and touched a button on the intercom. Astronomy Professor,
there's a ship right next door somewhere that should stand
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out like King Kong in a kindergarten. I know, Admiral,
I've been listening to the intercom. Our optical equipment isn't
designed for close range work. But we've been doing the
best we can. Tried everything from infrared through ultraviolet. If
there is a ship out there, I'm afraid it's invisible.
Beads of sweat sprinkled Heselton's forehead. This is bad, Rogers,
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mighty bad. Nervously, he walked across to the right of
the bridge and stood, hands clasped behind his back, staring
blankly out at blackness and the scattered stars. I know
there's a ship out there, and I know that a
ship simply can't be invisible, not to radar and optics.
What makes you sure there's only one, Sir? Heselton cracked
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his fist together. My god, Rogers, you're right. There might
be The intercom clacked again. This is fire control again, Sir.
I think we've got something on the radiation detectors. Good work.
What did you find? Slight radioactivity typical of interstellar drive
mechanisms somewhere off to our right. Can't tell exactly what
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where though, How far away is it? I don't know, Sir.
Heselton's hands dropped to his sides. Thanks, he said, for
the help. His nest TV flashed into life with a
picture of the smiling Alien commander. This is the linguistic section, Admiral.
The aliens understand a fairly common galactic symbology. I believe
we can translate simple messages for you. Now, asking him
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where the hell he is, Heselton snapped without thinking, then
instantly regretted it as the alien's face showed unmistakable surprise.
The alien's smile grew into an almost unbelievable grin. He
turned sideways to speak to someone out of sight of
the camera, and suddenly burst into a series of roaring cackles.
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He's laughing, sir, the translator commented, unnecessarily, the joke was
strictly with the aliens. Heselton's face whitened in quick realization. Rogers,
they didn't know that we can't see them. Look, sir.
The navigator pointed to the TV, and a brilliantly clear
image of Big Joe shimmered against the galaxy lit by
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millions of stars. Every missile port, even the military numerals
along her nose were clearly visible. And they're rubbing it in, Rogers,
showing us what we look like to them. Heselton's face
was chalk. They could blast Big Joe apart, piece by piece.
The most powerful ship in the galaxy, maybe, said Rogers,
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the second most powerful. Without answering, Heselton turned and looked
out again at empty space and millions of steady, unwinking stars.
His mind formed the image of a huge ethereal spaceship,
missile ports open weapons, aimed directly at Big Joe. The
speaker interrupted his nightmare. This is fire control, Admiral, with
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your permission, I'll scatter a few sea bombs. Heselton leaped
for the microphone. Are you out of your mind? We
have the slightest idea of the forces that guy has.
We might be in the center of our whole blooming fleet.
Ever think of that. The alien's face, still smirking, appeared
again on the screen. He says, said the interpreter that
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he finds the presence of our armed ship very annoying.
Heselton knew what he had to do. Tell him, he said,
swallowing hard, that we apologize. This part of the galaxy
is strange to us. He says, he is contemplating blasting
us out of the sky. Heselton said nothing, but he
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longed to reach out and throttle. The grinning alien face. However,
the interpreter continued, he will let us go safely if
we leave immediately. He says, to send an unarmed diplomatic
vessel next time, and maybe his people will talk to us.
Thank him for his kindness. Heselton's jaws clenched so tightly
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they ached, he says, said the interpreter, to get the
hell out. The grinning face snapped off the screen, but
the cackling laughter continued to reverberate in the control room
until the radio shack finally turned off the receiver reverse course.
The admiral ordered quietly maximum drive. A thousand missile launchers
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designed to disintegrate solar systems were deactivated. Hundreds of gyros
swung the mile long ship end for end and stabilized
her on a reverse course. Drive units big enough to
power several major cities wind into operation. Anti grabb generators
with the strength to shift small planets counterbalanced the external acceleration,
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and the ship moved away with a speed approaching that
of light oil. Muttered Heselton. That's the very first time
Big Joe has ever had to retreat, as if it
were his own personal failure. He walked slowly across the
control room and down the corridor towards his cabin. Admiral
Lost in thought, Heselton barely heard the call Admiral Look.
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Pausing at the door to his cabin, Heselton turned to
face the ship's chief astronomer, running up waving two large photographs. Look, sir.
The professor gasped for breath. We thought this was a
spot on the negative, but one of the men got
curious and enlarged it about a hundred times. He held
up one of the photos. It showed a small, fuzzy
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but unmistakable spaceship. No wonder we couldn't spot it with
our instruments. Heselton snatched it out of his hand. I
see what you mean. This ship must have been thousands
of miles, the Professor shook his head. No, sir. As
a matter of fact, it was quite close by. But
we figure that the total link at the alien ship
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was roughly an inch and a half end of a
matter of magnitude by Al Savchik