A Scandal in Bohemia

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Scandal in Bohemia by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle from
the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. To Sherlock Holmes, she is
always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her
under any other name. In his eyes, she eclipses and
predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that

(00:20):
he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler.
All emotions, and that one particularly were abhorrent to his cold, precise,
but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the
most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen.
But as a lover he would have placed himself in
a false position. He never spoke of the softer passions,

(00:43):
save with a gibe and a sneer. They were admirable
things for the observer, excellent for drawing the veil from
men's motives and actions. But for the trained reasoner, to
admit such intrusions into his own delicate and finely adjusted
temperament was to introduce a distracting factor which might throw
a doubt upon all his mental results. Gret in a

(01:05):
sensitive instrument or a crack in one of his own
high power lenses would not be more disturbing than a
strong emotion in a nature such as his. And yet
there was but one woman to him, and that woman
was the late Irene Adler, abdubious and questionable memory. I
had seen little of Holmes lately. My marriage had drifted

(01:26):
us away from each other. My own complete happiness and
the home centered interest which rise up round the man
who first finds himself master of his own establishment, were
sufficient to absorb all my attention. While Holmes, who loathed
every form of society with his whole bohemian soul, remained
in our lodgings in Baker Street, buried among his old books,

(01:49):
and alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition,
the drowsiness of the drug and the fierce energy of
his own keen nature. He was still, as ever, deeply
attracted by the study of crime, and occupied his immense
faculties and extraordinary powers of observation in following out those
clues and clearing up those mysteries which had been abandoned

(02:11):
as hopeless by the official police. From time to time
I heard some vague account of his doings, of his
summons to Odessa in the case of the trepof murder,
of his clearing up, of the singular tragedy of the
Atkinson brothers at Trincommie, and finally, of the mission which
he had accomplished so delicately and successfully for the reigning

(02:32):
family of Holland. Beyond these signs of his activity, however,
which I merely share with all the readers of the
Daily Press, I knew little of my former friend and companion.
One night, it was on the twentieth of March eighteen
eighty eight. I was returning from a journey to a patient,
for I had now returned to civil practice. When my

(02:53):
way led me through Baker Street. As I passed the
well remembered door, which must always be associated in my
mind with my wooing and with the dark incidents of
the Study and Scarlet, I was seized with a keen
desired see Holmes again and to know how he was
employing his extraordinary powers. His rooms were brilliantly lit, and

(03:14):
even as I looked up, I saw his tall, spare
figure pass twice in a dark silhouette against the blind.
He was facing the room swiftly, eagerly, with his head
sunk upon his breast and his hands clasped behind him
to me, who knew his every mood and habit, His
attitude and manner told their own story. He was at

(03:34):
work again. He had risen out of his drug created
dreams and was hot upon the scent of some new problem.
I rang the bell and was shown up to the
chamber which had formerly been in part my own. His
manner was not effusive, it seldom was, but he was
glad I think to see me, With hardly a word spoken,
but with a kindly eye. He waved me to an

(03:57):
arm chair, threw across his case of cigars, and indicated
a spirit case and a misogyny in the corner. Then
he stood before the fire and looked me over in
his singular introspective fashion. Wedlock suit you, He remarked, I think, Watson,
that you have put on seven and a half pounds
since I saw you seven. I answered, indeed, I should

(04:20):
have thought a little more, just a trifle more. I
fancy Watson, And in practice again I observed you did
not tell me that you intended to go into harness.
Then how do you know I see it? I deduce it.
How do I know that you have been getting yourself
very wet lately? And that you have a most clumsy

(04:41):
and careless servant girl. My dear Holmes, said I, this
is too much. You would certainly have been burned had
you lived few centuries ago. It is true that I
had a country walk on Thursday and came home in
a dreadful mass, But as I have changed my clothes,
I can't imagine how you deduce it. As to Mary Jane,

(05:02):
she is incorrigible, and my wife has given her notice.
But there again I failed to see how you work
it out. He chuckled to himself and rubbed his long,
nervous hands together. It is simplicity itself, said he. My
eyes tell me that on the inside of your left shoe,
just where the fire light strikes it, the leather is

(05:22):
scored by six almost parallel cuts. Obviously they have been
caused by some one who has very carelessly scraped round
the edges of the soul in order to remove crusted
mud from it. Hence, you see my double deduction that
you had been out in vile weather, and that you
had a particularly malignant boot slitting specimen of the London

(05:43):
slavey As to your practice, if a gentleman walks into
my room smelling of video form, with a black mark
of nightrate of silver upon his right forefinger, and a
bulge on the right side of his top hat to
show where he has secreted his stethoscope. I must be dull, indeed,
if I do not pronounce him to be an active
member of the medical profession. I could not help laughing

(06:07):
at the ease with which he explained his process of deduction.
When I hear you give your reasons, I remarked, the
thing always appears to me to be so ridiculously simple
that I could easily do it myself, though at each
successive instance of your reasoning, I am baffled until you
explain your process. And yet I believe that my eyes

(06:28):
are quite as good as yours. Quite so, he answered,
lighting a cigarette and throwing himself down into an arm chair.
You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.
For example, you have frequently seen the steps which lead
up from the hall to this room. Frequently, how often, well,

(06:49):
some hundreds of times. Then how many are there? How many?
I don't know. Quite so you have not observed, and
yet you have seen. That is just my point. Now,
I know that there are seventeen steps because I have
both seen and observed by the way. Since you are

(07:10):
interested in these little problems, and since you are good
enough to chronicle one or two of my trifling experiences,
you may be interested in this. He threw over a
sheet of thick, pink tinted note paper, which had been
lying open upon the table. It came by the last post, said,
He read it aloud. The note was undated, and without

(07:30):
either signature or address. There will call upon you to
night at a quarter to eight o'clock, it said, a
gentleman who desired to consult you upon a matter of
the very deepest moment. Your recent services to one of
the royal houses of Europe have shown that you are
one who may safely be trusted with matters which are

(07:51):
of an importance which can hardly be exaggerated. This account
of you we have from all quarters received. Be in
your chamber then at that hour, and do not take
it amiss if your visitor wear a mask. This is
indeed a mystery, I remarked, What do you imagine that
it means? I have no data? Yet? It is a

(08:12):
capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one
begins to twist facts to shoot theories instead of theories,
to shoot facts. But the note itself, what do you
deduce from it? I carefully examined the writing and the
paper upon which it was written. The man who wrote
it was presumably well to do, I remarked, endeavoring to

(08:36):
imitate my companion's processes. Such paper could not be bought
under half a crown a packet. It is peculiarly strong
and stiff. Peculiar, that is the very word, said Holmes.
It is not an English paper at all. Hold it
up to the light. I did so, and saw a
large E with a small G, a p E and

(09:00):
a large G with a small T woven into the
texture of the paper. What do you make of that?
Asked Holmes. The name of the maker, no doubt, or
his monogram, rather not at all. The G with the
small T stands for Geselschaft, which is the German for company.
It is a customary contraction like our c. O. P,

(09:24):
of course stands for papier. No for the E. G
let us glance at our continental gazetteer. He took down
a heavy brown volume from his shelves, Iglo Egloniz. Here
we are Egria. It is in a German speaking country
in Bohemia, not far from Carlsbad, remarkable as being the

(09:48):
scene of the death of Wallenstein, and for its numerous
glass factories and paper mills. Haha, my boy, what do
you make of that? His eyes sparkled, and he sent
up a great blue, triumphant cloud from his cigarette. The
paper was made in Bohemia, I said, precisely. And the
man who wrote the note is a German. Do you

(10:10):
note the peculiar construction of the sentence. This account of
you we have from all quarters received. A Frenchman or
Russian could not have written that. It is the German
who is so uncourteous to his verbs. It only remains, therefore,
to discover what is wanted by this German who writes
upon Bohemian paper and prefers wearing a mask to showing

(10:33):
his face. And here he comes, if I am not mistaken,
to resolve all our doubts. As he spoke, there was
a sharp sound of horses hoofs and grating wheels against
the curb, followed by a sharp pull at the bell.
Holmes whistled a pair by the sound, said he yes.

(10:53):
He continued glancing out the window a nice little bruffum
and a pair of beauties a hundred and fifty guineas apiece.
There's money in this case, Watson. If there is nothing else,
I think that I had better go, Holmes, not a bit, doctor,
stay where you are. I am lost without my boswell,

(11:13):
and this promises to be interesting. It would be a
pity to miss it. But your client never mind him.
I may want your help, and so may he. Here
he comes. Sit down in that arm chair, doctor, and
give us your best attention. A slow and heavy step
which had been heard upon the stairs and in the passage,

(11:34):
paused immediately outside the door. Then there was a loud
and authoritative tap. Come in, said Holmes. A man entered,
who could hardly have been less than six feet six
inches in height, with the chest and limbs of a Hercules,
his dress, which was rich with a richness which would
in England be looked upon as akin to bad taste.

(11:56):
Heavy bands of astricum were slashed across the sea leaves
and fronts of his devil breasted colt, while the deep
blue cloak which was thrown over his shoulders was lined
with a flame colored silk and secured at the neck
with a brooch which consisted of a single flaming barrel.
Boots which extended half way up his calves, and which

(12:17):
were trimmed at the tops with rich brown fur, completed
the impression of barbaric opulence, which was suggested by his
whole appearance. He carried a broad brimmed hat in his hand,
while he wore across the upper part of his face,
extending down past the cheek bones, a black vizard mask,
which he had apparently adjusted that very moment, for his

(12:40):
hand was still raised to it as he entered from
the lower part of the face. He appeared to be
a man of strong character, with a thick, hanging lip
and a long, straight chin, suggestive of resolution pushed to
the length of obstinacy. You had my note, he asked,
with a deep, harsh voice and strongly art German accent.

(13:01):
I told you that I would call. He looked from
one to the other office as if uncertain which to address. Pray,
take a seat, said Holmes. This is my friend and colleague,
doctor Watson, who is occasionally good enough to help me
in my cases. Whom have I the honor to address.
You may address me is Count von cram A bohemian nobleman.

(13:25):
I understand that this gentleman, your friend, is a man
of honor and discretion, whom I may trust with a
matter of the most extreme importance. If not, I should
much prefer to communicate with you alone. I rose to go,
but Holmes caught me by the wrist and pushed me
back into my chair. It is both or none, said he.

(13:46):
You may say before this gentleman anything which you may
say to me. The Count shrugged his broad shoulders. Then
I must begin, said he, by binding you both to
absolute secrecy for two years. At the end of that time,
the matter will be of no importance at present. It
is not too much to say that it is of

(14:08):
such weight it may have an influence upon European history,
I promise, said Holmes. And I you will excuse this mask,
continued our strange visitor. The august person who employs me
wishes his agent to be unknown to you. And I
may confess at once that the title by which I

(14:29):
have just called myself is not exactly my own. I
was aware of it, said Holmes dryly. The circumstances are
of great delicacy, and every precaution has to be taken.
To quench what might grow to be an immense scandal
and seriously compromise one of the reigning families of Europe.

(14:49):
To speak plainly, the matter implicates the Great House of Ormstein,
hereditary Kings of Bohemia. I was also aware of that,
murmured Holmes, settling him self down in his arm chair
and closing his eyes. Our visitor glanced with some apparent
surprise at the languid, lounging figure of the man who

(15:09):
had been, no doubt depicted to him as the most
incisive reasoner and most energetic agent in Europe. Holmes slowly
reopened his eyes and looked impatiently at his gigantic client.
If your Majesty would condescend to state your case, he remarked,
I should be better able to advise you. The man
sprang from his chair and paced up and down the

(15:32):
room in uncontrollable agitation. Then, with a gesture of desperation,
he tore the mask from his face and hurled it
upon the ground. You are right, he cried, I am
the King. Why should I attempt to conceal it? Why? Indeed,
murmured Holmes, your Majesty had not spoken before I was
aware that I was addressing Wilhelm Gotthriich, Sigismund uvon Ormstein,

(15:55):
Grand Duke of Castelfelstein, and Hereditary Caing of Bohemia. But
you can understand, said our strange visitor, sitting down once more,
and passing his hand over his high white forehead. You
can understand that I am not accustomed to doing such
business in my own person. Yet the matter was so

(16:16):
delicate that I could not confide it to an agent
without putting myself in his power. I have come incognito
from Prague for the purpose of consulting you. Then pray consult,
said Holmes, shutting his eyes once more. The facts are
briefly these. Some five years ago, during a lengthy visit
to Warsaw, I made the acquaintance of the well known

(16:39):
adventurous Irene Adler. The name is no doubt familiar to you.
Kindly look her up in my index, doctor murmured Holmes,
without opening his eyes. For many years he had adopted
a system of docketing all paragraphs concerning men and things,
so that it was difficult to name a subject or
a person on which he could not at once furnish information.

(17:02):
In this case, I found her biography sandwiched in between
that of a Hebrew rabbi and that of a staff
commander who had written a monograph upon the deep sea fishes.
Let me see, said Holmes hum born in New Jersey
in the year eighteen fifty eight, contralto hum Lescola MM

(17:25):
Primadonna Imperial Opera warsaw Yes retired from operatic stage a
living in London. Quite so, your Majesty, as I understand,
became entangled with this young person, wrote her some compromising
letters and is now desirous of getting those letters back.

(17:47):
Precisely so. But how was there a secret marriage? None?
No legal papers or certificates. None. Then I failed to
follow your majesty. If this young person should produce her
letters for blackmailing or other purposes, how is she to
prove their authenticity? There is the writing POOFU forgery, my

(18:12):
private notepaper, stolen, my own seal, imitated my photograph bot
we were both in the photograph. Oh dear, that is
very bad. Your majesty has indeed committed an indiscretion. I
was mad, insane. You have compromised yourself. Seriously, I was

(18:38):
only a crown prince then I was young, I am,
but thirty. Now it must be recovered. We have tried
and failed. Your majesty must pay. It must be bought.
She will not sell stolen. Then five attempts have been made.
Twice burglars in my pay, ransacked her house once, we

(19:01):
diverted her luggage when she traveled twice. She has been waylaid.
There has been no result, no sign of it, absolutely none,
Holmes laughed. It is quite a pretty little problem, said he,
But a very serious one to me, returned The king reproachfully,
very indeed, And what does she propose to do with

(19:24):
the photograph? To ruin me? But how I am about
to be married? So I have heard to Clotilda Lothmann
bon Saxe Meningen, second daughter of the King of Scandinavia.
You may know the strict principles of her family. She

(19:44):
is herself the very soul of delicacy. A shadow of
a doubt as to my conduct would bring the matter
to an end. And ivery Nadler threatens to send them
the photograph, and she will do it. I know that
she will do it. You do not know her, but
she has a soul of steel. She has the face

(20:06):
of the most beautiful of women and the mind of
the most resolute of men, rather than I should marry
another woman. There are no lengths to which she would
not go none. You are sure that she has not
sent it yet. I am sure, and why because she
has said that she would send it on the day

(20:26):
when the betrothal was publicly proclaimed. That will be next Monday. Oh,
then we have three day shat, said Holmes with a yawn.
That is very fortunate, as I have one or two
matters of importance to look into just at present. Your
Majesty will of course stay in London for the present.
Certainly you will find me at the Langham under the

(20:49):
name of the Count Boncrombe. Then I shall drop you
a line to let you know how we progress. Pray
do so I shall be all anxiety. Then, as to
the you have carte blanc, absolutely I tell you that
I would give one of the provinces of my kingdom
to have that photograph and for present expenses. The King

(21:13):
took a heavy chamois leather bag from under his cloak
and laid it on the table. There are three hundred
pounds in gold and seven hundred in notes, he said.
Holmes scribbled a receipt upon a sheet of his note
book and handed it to him and Mademoiselle's adress. He asked,
is Briony Lodge, Serpentine Avenue, Saint John's Wood. Holmes took

(21:36):
a note of it one other questions, said he was
the photograph a cabinet. It was then good night, your majesty,
and I trust that we shall soon have some good
news for you. And good night Watson, he added, as
the wheels of the Royal Bruffam rolled down the street.
If you will be good enough to call tomorrow afternoon

(21:57):
at three o'clock, I should like to cat this little
matter over with you. At three o'clock precisely, I was
at Baker Street, but Holmes had not yet returned. The
landlady informed me that he had left the house shortly
after eight o'clock in the morning. I sat down beside
the fire, however, with the intention of awaiting him, however

(22:18):
long he might be. I was already deeply interested in
his inquiry, for though it was surrounded by none of
the grim and strange features which were associated with the
two crimes which I have already recorded, still the nature
of the case and the exalted station of his client
gave it a character of its own. Indeed, apart from

(22:38):
the nature of the investigation which my friend had on hand,
there was something in his masterly grasp of a situation
and his keen, incisive reasoning, which made it a pleasure
to me to study his system of work and to
follow the quick, subtle methods by which he disentangled the
most inextricable mysteries. So accustomed was I to his invariable success,

(23:02):
that the very possibility of his failing had ceased to
enter into my head. It was close upon four before
the door opened, and a drunken looking groom, ill camped
and side whiskered, with an inflamed face and disreputable clothes,
walked into the room. Accustomed as I was to my
friend's amazing powers in the use of disguises, I had

(23:24):
to look three times before I was certain that it
was indeed he. With a nod, he vanished into the bedroom.
Whence he emerged in five minutes, tweed suited and respectable
as of old. Putting his hands into his pockets, he
stretched out his legs in front of the fire and
laughed heartily for some minutes. Well really, he cried and

(23:46):
then choked and laughed again until he was obliged to
slide back, limp and helpless in the chair. What is it?
It's quite too funny. I am sure you could never
guess how I employed my mourning or what I ended
by doing. I can't imagine. I suppose that you have
been watching the habits, and perhaps the house of Miss
Irene Adler quite so, but the sequel was rather unusual.

(24:11):
I will tell you, however. I left the house a
little after eight o'clock this morning in the character of
a groom out of work. There is a wonderful sympathy
and freemasonry among horsey men. Be one of them and
you will know all that there is to know. I
soon found be on a lodge. It is a bije
villa with a garden at the back, but built out

(24:33):
in front. Ride up to the road two stories Chubb
blocked to the door, large sitting room on the right side,
well furnished with long windows almost to the floor, and
those preposterous English window fasteners which a child could open behind.
There was nothing remarkable save that the passage window could
be reached from the top of the coach house. I

(24:54):
walked round it, and examined it closely from every point
of view, but without knowing anything else of interest. I
then lounged down the street and found, as I expected,
that there was a muse in a lane which runs
down by one wall of the garden. I lent the
ostlers a hand in rubbing down their horses, and received
an exchanged twopence, a glass of half and half, two

(25:17):
fills of shagged tobacco, and as much information as I
could desire about miss Adler, to say nothing of half
a dozen other people in the neighborhood, in whom I
was not in the least interested, but whose biographies I
was compelled to listen to. And what of Irene Adler,
I asked, Oh, she has turned all the men's heads

(25:38):
down in that part. She is the daintiest thing under
a bonnet on this planet, So say the serpentine muse
to a man. She lived quietly, sings at concerts, drives
out at five every day, and returns at seven sharp
for dinner. Seldom goes out at other times except when
she sings. Has only one male visitor, but a good

(26:00):
deal of him. He is dark, handsome and dashing, never
calls less than once a day, and often twice. He
is a mister Godfrey Norton of the Inner Temple. See
the advantages of a cabman as a confidant. They had
driven him home a dozen times from Serpentine muse and
knew all about him. When I had listened to all

(26:21):
they had to tell, I began to walk up and
down near Brionny Lodge once more, and to think over
my plan of campaign. This Godfrey Norton was evidently an
important factor in the matter. He was a lawyer. That
sounded ominous. What was the relation between them? And what
the object of his repeated visits? Was she his client,

(26:42):
his friend or his mistress. If the former, she had
probably transferred the photograph to his keeping. If the latter,
it was less likely. On the issue of this question
depended whether I should continue my work at Brionny Lodge
or turn my attention to the gentleman's chambers in the Temple.
It was a delicate point, and it widened the field

(27:05):
of my inquiry. I fear that I bore you with
these details, but I have to let you see my
little difficulties. If you are to understand the situation I
am following you closely, I answered. I was still balancing
the matter in my mind when a handsome cab drove
up to beyond a lodge, and a gentleman sprang out.

(27:25):
He was a remarkably handsome man, dark aquiline and mustache,
evidently the man of whom I had heard. He appeared
to be in a great hurry, shouted to the cabman
to wait, and brushed past the maid, who opened the
door with the air of a man who was thoroughly
at home. He was in the house about half an hour,
and I could catch glimpses of him in the windows

(27:47):
of the sitting room, pacing up and down, talking excitedly,
and waving his arms of her I could see nothing.
Presently he emerged, looking even more flurried than before, and
as he stepped up to the cab, he pulled a
gold watch from his pocket and looked at it earnestly.
Drive like the devil. He shouted, first to Gross and

(28:09):
Hankes in Regent Street, and then to the church at
Saint Monica in the Edgeware Road. Half a guinea if
you do it in twenty minutes away they went, and
I was just wondering whether I should not do well
to follow them. When up the lane came a neat
little Landau, the coachman with his coat only half buttoned
and his tie under his ear, while all the tags

(28:31):
of his harness were sticking out of the buckles. It
hadn't pulled up before she shot out of the hall
door and into it. I only caught a glimpse of
her at the moment, but she was a lovely woman
with a face that a man might die for. The
Church at Saint Monica, John, she cried, and half a
sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes. This was

(28:53):
quite too good to lose, Watson. I was just balancing
whether I should run for it or whether I should
behind her Landau. When a cab came through the street.
The driver looked twice at such a shabby fare, but
I jumped in before he could object. The Church at
Saint Monica, said I, and half a sovereign if you
reach it in twenty minutes. It was twenty five minutes

(29:15):
to twelve, and of course it twas clear enough what
was in the wind. My cabby drove fast. I don't
think I ever drove faster, but the others were there
before us. The cab and the Landau with their steaming horses,
were in front of the door. When I arrived. I
paid the man and hurried into the church. There was
not a soul there save the two whom I had followed,

(29:37):
and a surpliced clergyman who seemed to be expostulating with them.
They were all three standing in a knot in front
of the altar. I lounged up the side aisle like
any other idler who has dropped into a church. Suddenly,
to my surprise, the three at the altar faced round
to me, and Godfrey Norton came, running as hard as

(29:57):
he could towards me. Thank goodness, he cried, you'll do Come?
Come what? Then? I asked, come, man, come only three
minutes or it won't be legal. I was half dragged
up to the altar, and before I knew where I was,
I found myself mumbling responses which were whispered in my ear,
and vouching for things of which I knew nothing, and

(30:21):
generally assisting in the secure tying up of Irene Adler
Spinster to Godfrey Norton bachelor. It was all done in
an instant, and there was the gentleman thanking me on
the one side and the lady on the other, while
the clergyman beamed on me in front. It was the
most preposterous position in which I ever found myself in

(30:41):
my life, and it was the thought of it that
started me laughing. Just now. It seems that there had
been some informality about their license, that the clergyman absolutely
refused to marry them without a witness of some sort,
and that my lucky appearance saved the bridegroom from having
to sally out into the streets in search of a

(31:02):
best man. The bride gave me a sovereign and I
mean to wear it on my watch chain in memory
of the occasion. This is a very unexpected turn of affairs,
said I. And what then, Well, I found my plans
very seriously menaced. It looked as if the pair might
take an immediate departure, and so necessitate very prompt and

(31:24):
energetic measures on my part. At the church door, however,
they separated, he driving back to the temple and she
to her own house. I shall drive out in the
park at five as usual, she said. As she left him.
I heard no more. They drove away in different directions,
and I went off to make my own arrangements, which

(31:46):
are some cold beef and a glass of beer, he answered,
ringing the bell. I have been too busy to think
of food, and I am likely to be busier still
this evening. By the way, doctor, I shall want your operation.
I shall be delighted. You don't mind breaking the law,
not in the least your running a chance of arrest.

(32:09):
Not in a good cause. Oh, the cause is excellent
that I am your man. I was sure that I
might rely on you. But what is it you wish?
When missus Turner has brought in the tray, I will
make it clear to you now, he said, as he
turned hungrily on the simple fare that our landlady had provided.

(32:30):
I must discuss it while I eat, for I have
not much time. It is nearly five now. In two
hours we must be on the scene of action. Miss
Irene or Madame rather returns from her drive at seven.
We must be at Briony Lodge to meet her. And
what then? You must leave that to me. I have

(32:53):
already arranged what is to occur. There is only one
point on which I must insist. You must not interfere. Come.
What may you understand. I am to be neutral, to
do nothing whatever. There will probably be some small and pleasantness.
Do not join in. It will end in my being

(33:15):
conveyed into the house. Four or five minutes afterwards, the
sitting room window will open. You are to station yourself
close to that open window. Yes, you are to watch me,
for I will be visible to you. Yes. And when
I raise my hand so you will throw into the
room what I give you to throw, and will at

(33:38):
the same time raise the cry of fire. You quite
follow me entirely. It is nothing very formidable, he said,
taking a long cigar shaped roll from his pocket. It
is an ordinary plumber's smoke rocket, fitted with a cap
at either end to make itself lighting. Your task is

(33:58):
confined to that when you raise your cry of fire,
it will be taken up by quite a number of people.
You may then walk to the end of the street,
and I will rejoin you in ten minutes. I hope
that I have made myself clear. I am to remain neutral,
to get near the window, to watch you, and at

(34:19):
the signal to throw in this object, then to raise
the cry of fire, and to wait you at the
corner of the street. Precisely. Then you may entirely rely
on me. That is excellent. I think perhaps it is
almost time that I prepare for the new role I
have to play. He disappeared into his bedroom and returned

(34:41):
in a few minutes in the character of an amiable
and simple minded nonconformist clergyman. His broad black hat, his
baggy trousers, his white tie, his sympathetic smile, and general
look of peering and benevolent curiosity were such as mister
John Hare alone could have equalled. It was not merely

(35:03):
that Holmes changed his costume, his expression, his manner, his
very soul seemed to vary with every fresh part that
he assumed. The stage lost a fine actor, even as
science lost an acute reasoner when he became a specialist
in crime. It was a quarter past six when we

(35:23):
left Baker Street, and it still wanted ten minutes to
the hour when we found ourselves in Serpentine Avenue. It
was already dusk, and the lamps were just being lighted
as we paced up and down in front of Brionny Lodge,
waiting for the coming of its occupant. The house was
just such as I had pictured it from Sherlock Holmes

(35:45):
succinct description, but the locality appeared to be less private
than I expected. On the contrary, for a small street
in a quiet neighborhood, it was remarkably animated. There was
a group of shabbily dressed mens, smoking and laughing in
a corner, a scissors grinder with its wheel, two guardsmen
who were flirting with a nurse girl, and several well

(36:09):
dressed young men who were lounging up and down with
cigars in their mouths. You see, remarked Holmes, as we
paced to and fro in front of the house. This
marriage rather simplifies matters. The photograph becomes a double edged weapon.
Now the chances are that she would be as averse
to its being seen by mister Godfrey Norton as our

(36:30):
client is to its coming to the eyes of his princess.
Now the question is where are we to find the
photograph where? Indeed, it is most unlikely that she carries
it about with her. It is cabinet size too large
for easy concealment about a woman's dress. She knows that

(36:51):
the King is capable of having her waylaid and searched.
Two attempts of the sort have already been made. We
may take it that she does not carry it about
with her where then her banker or her liar. There
is that double possibility. But I am inclined to think neither.

(37:12):
Women are naturally secretive, and they like to do their
own secreting. Why should she hand it over to any
one else? She could trust her own guardianship, but she
could not tell what indirect or political influence might be
brought to bear upon a business man. Besides, remember that
she had resolved to use it within a few days.

(37:34):
It must be where she can lay her hands upon it.
It must be in her own house. But it has
twice been burgled. Pshah, They did not know how to look.
But how will you look? I will not look what
then I will get her to show me, but she

(37:55):
will refuse. She will not be able to. But I
hear the rumble of wheels. It is her carriage. Now
carry out my orders to the letter. As he spoke,
the gleam of the side lights of a carriage came
round the curve of the avenue. It was a smart
little Landau which rattled up to the door of Briony Lodge.

(38:17):
As it pulled up, one of the loafing men at
the corner dashed forward to open the door in the
hope of earning a copper, but was elbowed away by
another loafer who had rushed up with the same intention.
A fierce quarrel broke out, which was increased by the
two guardsmen, who took sides with one of the loungers,

(38:37):
and by the sitters grinder, who was equally hot upon
the other side. A blow was struck, and in an
instant the lady, who had stepped from her carriage, was
the center of a little knot of flushed and struggling
men who struck savagely at each other with their fists
and sticks. Holmes dashed into the crowd to protect the lady,

(38:57):
but just as he reached her, he gave a cry
and dropped to the ground, with the blood running freely
down his face. At his fall, the guardsmen took to
their heels in one direction and the loungers in the other,
while a number of better dressed people who had watched
the scuffle without taking part in it, crowded in to
help the lady and to attend to the injured man.

(39:19):
Irene Adler, as I will still call her had hurried
up the steps, but she stood at the top with
her superb figure outlined against the lights of the hall,
looking back into the street. Is the poor gentleman much hurt?
She asked? He is dead, cried several voices. No, no,
there's life in him, shouted another. But he'll be gone

(39:40):
before we can get him to hospital. He's a brave fellow,
said a woman. They would have had the lady's purse
and watch if it hadn't been for him. They were
a gang, and a rough one too. Ah, he's breathing now,
he can't lie in the street. May we bring him in,
marm surely bring him into the sitting room. There is

(40:00):
a comfortable sofa this way, please, slowly and solemnly. He
was born into Brionny Lodge and laid out in the
principal room while I still observed the proceedings from my
post by the window. The lamps had been lit, but
the blinds had not been drawn, so that I could
see Holmes as he lay upon the couch. I do

(40:21):
not know whether he was seized with compunction at that
moment for the part he was playing, but I know
that I never felt more heartily ashamed of myself in
my life than when I saw the beautiful creature against
whom I was conspiring, or the grace and kindliness with
which she waited upon the injured man. And yet it

(40:41):
would be the blackest treachery to Holmes to draw back
now from the part which he had entrusted to me.
I hardened my heart and took the smoke rocket from
under my ulster. After all, I thought, we are not
injuring her. We are but preventing her from injuring another.
Holmes had sat up upon the couch, and I saw
him motion like a man who was in need of air.

(41:03):
A maid rushed across and threw open the window. At
the same instant I saw him raise his hand, and
at the signal, I tossed my rocket into the room
with a cry of fire. The word was no sooner
out of my mouth than the whole crowd of spectators,
well dressed and ill, gentlemen, ostlers and servant maids, joined
in a general shriek of fire. Thick clouds of smoke

(41:25):
curled through the room and out At the open window,
I caught a glimpse of rushing figures, and a moment
later the voice of Holmes from within, assuring them that
it was a false alarm. Slipping through the shouting crowd,
I made my way to the corner of the street,
and in ten minutes was rejoiced to find my friend's
arm in mine and to get away from the scene

(41:45):
of uproar. He walked swiftly and in silence for some
few minutes until we had turned down one of the
quiet streets which led towards the Edgeware Road. You did
it very nicely, doctor, he remarked. Nothing could have been better.
It is all all right. You have the photograph. I
know where it is. And how did you find out?

(42:06):
She showed me as I told you she would. I
am still in the dark. I do not wish to
make a mystery, said he, laughing. The matter was perfectly simple. You,
of course saw that every one in the street was
in an accomplice. They were all engaged for the evening.
I guessed as much. Then when the row broke out,
I had a little moist red paint in the palm

(42:28):
of my hand. I rushed forward, fell down, clapped my
hand to my face, and became a piteous spectacle. It
is an old trick that also I could fathom. Then
they carried me in. She was bound to have me
in what else could she do? And into her sitting room,
which was the very room which I suspected. It lay

(42:48):
between that and her bedroom, and I was determined to
see which. They laid me on a couch. I motioned
for air. They were compelled to open the window, and
you had your chance. How did that help you? It
was all important. When a woman thinks that her house
is on fire, her instinct is at once to rush
to the thing which she values most. It is a

(43:11):
perfectly overpowering impulse, and I have more than once taken
advantage of it. In the case of the Darlington substitution
scandal it was of use to me, and also in
the Arnsworth Castle business. A married woman grabs at her baby,
an unmarried one reaches for her jewel box. Now it
was clear to me that our lady of to day

(43:32):
had nothing in the house more precious to her than
what we are in quest of. She would rush to
secure it. The alarm of fire was admirably done. The
smoke and shouting were enough to shake nerves of steel.
She responded beautifully. The photograph is in a recess behind
a sliding panel just above the right bell pull. She

(43:54):
was there in an instant, and I caught a glimpse
of it as she half drew it out. When I
cried out that it was a false alarm, she replaced it,
glanced at the rocket, rushed from the room, and I
have not seen her since I rose and making my
excuses escape from the house. I hesitated whether to attempt

(44:14):
to secure the photograph at once, but the coachman had
come in, and as he was watching me narrowly, it
seemed safer to wait a little over precipitance may ruin all.
And now I asked, our quest is practically finished. I
shall call with the king tomorrow and with you, if
you care to come with us. We will be shown

(44:36):
into the sitting room to wait for the lady. But
it is probable that when she comes she may find
neither us nor the photograph. It might be a satisfaction
to his majesty to regain it with his own hand.
And when would you call? At eight in the morning,
she will not be up, so that we shall have
a clear field. Besides, we must be prompt, for this

(44:58):
marriage may mean a complete change in her life, and habits.
I must wire to the king without delay. We had
reached Baker Street and had stopped at the door. He
was searching his pockets for the key when some one
passing said good night, mister Sherlock Holmes. There were several
people on the pavement at the time, but the greeting

(45:18):
appeared to come from a slim youth in an ulster
who had hurried by. I've heard that voice before, said Holmes,
staring down the dimly lit street. Now I wonder who
the deuce that could have been. I slept at Baker
Street that night, and we were engaged upon our toast
and coffee in the morning when the King of Bohemia
rushed into the room. You have really got it, he cried,

(45:42):
grasping Sherlock Holmes by either shoulder and looking eagerly into
his face. Not yet, but you have hopes. I have hopes.
Then come, I am all impatience to be gone. We
must have a cab. No, my Bruffhelm is waiting. Then
that will simplify matters. We descended and started off once

(46:03):
more for Brionny Lodge. I reenn Adler is married, remarked Holmes. Married.
When yesterday but to whom to an English lawyer named Norton,
but she could not love him. I am in hopes
that she does, and why in hopes, because it would
spare your Majesty all fear of future annoyance. If the

(46:25):
lady loves her husband, she does not love your majesty.
If she does not love your Majesty, there is no
reason why she should interfere with your Majesty's plan. It
is true, and yet well I wish she had been
of my own station. What a queen she would have made.
He relapsed into moody silence, which was not broken until

(46:49):
we drew up in Serpentine Avenue. The door of Brionny
Lodge was open, and an elderly woman stood upon the steps.
She watched us with a sardonic eye as we stepped
from them. Mister Chulock Holmes, I believe, said she, I
am Holmes, answered my companion, looking at her with a
questioning and rather startled gaze. Indeed, my mistress told me

(47:11):
that you were likely to call. She left this morning
with her husband by the five fifteen train from sharing
Cross for the continent. What Sherlock holmestaggered back white withered
Grian in surprise. Do you mean that she has left
England never to return? And the papers asked the King hoarsely,
all is lost, we shall see. He pushed past the

(47:35):
servant and rushed into the drawing room, followed by the
King and myself. The furniture was scattered about in every direction,
with dismantled shelves and open drawers, as if the lady
had hurriedly ransacked them before her flight. Holmes rushed at
the bell, pull tore back a small slighting shutter, and
plunging in his hand, pulled out a photograph and a letter.

(47:57):
The photograph was of Irene Adler herself an evening dress.
The letter was superscribed to Sherlock Holmes esquire to be
left till called for. My friend tore it open and
we all three read it together. It was dated at
midnight of the preceding night, and ran in this way.
You really did it very well. You took me in completely.

(48:21):
Until after the alarm of fire, I had not a suspicion.
But then when I found how I had betrayed myself,
I began to think I had been warned against you
months ago. I had been told that if the King
employed an agent. It would certainly be you, and your
address had been given me. Yet with all this you

(48:42):
made me reveal what you wanted to know. Even after
I became suspicious, I found it hard to think evil
of such a dear, kind old clergyman. But you know
I have been trained as an actress myself. Mail costume
is nothing new to me. I often take advantage of
the freedom which it gives. I sent John the coachman
to watch you, ran upstairs, got into my walking clothes,

(49:06):
as I called them, and came down just as you departed. Well,
I followed you to your door, and so made sure
that I was really an object of interest to this
celebrated mister Sherlock Holmes. Then I rather imprudently wished you
good night and started for the temple to see my husband.
We both thought the best resource was flight when pursued

(49:26):
by so formidable an antagonist. So you will find the
nest empty when you call tomorrow. As to the photograph,
your client may rest in peace. I love, and I
am loved by a better man than he. The King
may do what he will without hindrance from one whom
he has cruelly wronged. I keep it only to safeguard
myself and to preserve a weapon which will always secure

(49:50):
me from any steps which he might take in the future.
I leave a photograph which he might care to possess,
and I remained, dear mister Sherlock Holmes, truly yours Irene
Norton nay Adler. What a woman, Oh, what a woman,
cried the King of Bohemia, when we had all three
read this epistle. Did I not tell you how quick

(50:12):
and resolute she was? Would she not have made an
admirable queen? Is it not a pity that she was
not on my level? From what I have seen of
the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very
different level to your Majesty, said Holmes coldly. I am
sorry that I have not been able to bring your
Majesty's business to a more successful conclusion. On the contrary,

(50:35):
my dear sir, cried the King, nothing could be more successful.
I know that her word is in violate. The photograph
is now as safe as if it were in the fire.
I am glad to hear your Majesty say so. I
am immensely indebted to you. Pray tell me in what
way I can reward you this ring. He slipped an

(50:56):
emerald snake ring from his finger and held it out
upon the palm of his hand. Your Majesty has something
which I should value even more highly, said Rolmes. You
have but to name it this photograph. The king stared
at him in amazement. Irene's photograph. He cried, certainly, if
you wish it, I thank your majesty, then there is

(51:18):
no more to be done in the matter. I have
the honor to wish you a very good morning. He bowed, and,
turning away, without observing the hand which the King had
stretched out to him, he set off in my company
for his chambers. And that was how a great scandal
threatened to affect the Kingdom of Bohemia, and how the
best plans of mister Sherlock Holmes were beaten by a

(51:41):
woman's wit. He used to make merry over the cleverness
of women, but I have not heard him do it
of late, And when he speaks of Irene Adler, or
when he referred to her photograph, it is always under
the honorable title of the woman. End of a Scandal
in Bohemia by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle