August 18, 2025 • 7 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nervis with a smile by Charles L. Fontenet. Herbert was
(00:06):
truly a gentleman robot. The lady's slightest wish was his command.
Herbert bowed with a muted clink, indicating he probably needed
oiling somewhere, and presented Alice with a perfect Martini on
a silver tray. He stood holding the tray with a white,
permanent porcelain smile on his smooth metal face as Alice
(00:26):
sipped the drink and grimaced. It's a good martini. Herbert said, Alice,
thank you, but damn it, I wish you didn't have
that everlasting smile. I am very sorry, miss Alice, but
I am unable to alter myself in any way, replied
Herbert in a polite, hollow voice. He retired to a
(00:48):
corner and stood impassively, still holding the tray. Herbert had
found a silver deposit and made the tray. Herbert had
found a sand and made the cocktail glass. Herbert had
combined God knew what atmospheric and earth chemicals to make
what tasted like gin and vermouth, and Herbert had frozen
the ice to chill it. Sometimes, said Sarah wistfully. It
(01:13):
occurs to me, it would be better to live in
a mud hut with a real man than in a
mansion with Herbert. The fore women lolled comfortably in a
living room of their spacious house, as luxurious as anything
any of them would have known on a distant earth.
The rugs were thick, the furniture was over stuffed. The
paintings on the walls were aesthetic and inspiring. The shelves
(01:35):
were filled with book tapes and music tapes. Herbert had
done it all, except to the book tapes and music
tapes which had been salvaged from the wrecked spaceship. Do
you suppose we'll ever escape from this best of all
possible manless worlds, asked Betsy, fluffing her thick black hair
with her fingers and inspecting herself in a Herbert made mirror.
(01:57):
I don't see how, answered Alice glumly. That atmospheric trap
would wreck any other spaceship just as it wrecked ours,
and the same magnetic layer prevents any radio message from
getting out. Now, I'm afraid we're a colony. A colony
perpetuates itself, reminded sharp faced Margaret acidly. We aren't a
(02:19):
colony without men, They were not the prettiest women in
the universe, nor the youngest. The prettiest women and the
youngest did not go to space. But they were young
enough and healthy enough, or they could not have gone
to space. It had been a year and a half now,
an earth year and a half, on a nice little
(02:39):
planet revolving around a nice little yellow sun. Herbert the
robot was obedient and versatile, and had provided them with
a house, food, clothing, anything they wished, created out of
the raw materials of earth and air and water. But
the bones of all the men who had been a
space with these four ladies lay moldering in the wreckage
(03:01):
of their spaceship, and Herbert could not create a man.
Herbert did not have to have direct orders, and he
had tried once to create a man when he had
overheard them wishing for one. They buried the corpse, perfect
in every detail except that it had never been alive.
(03:23):
It's been a hot day, said Alice, fanning her brow.
I wish it would rain. Silently, Herbert moved from his
corner and went out the door. Margaret gestured after him
with a bitter little laugh. It'll rain this afternoon, she said.
I don't know how Herbert does it, maybe with silver
eyed eyed, but it'll rain. Wouldn't it have been simpler
(03:47):
to get him to air condition the house, Alice. That's
a good idea, said Alice, thoughtfully. We should have had
him do it before. Herbert had not quite completed the
task of air conditioning the house when the other space
ship crashed. They all rushed out to the smoking side,
the four women and Herbert. It was a tiny scout
(04:07):
ship and its single occupant was alive. He was unconscious,
but he was alive, and he was a man. They
carted him back to the house tenderly and put him
to bed. They hovered over him like four hands over
a single chick, waiting and watching for him to come
out of his coma, while Herbert scurried about creating and
(04:29):
administering the necessary medicines. He'll live, said Sarah, happily. Sara
had been a space nurse. He'll be on his feet
and walking around in a few days. A man murmured Betsy,
with something like awe in her voice. I could almost
believe Herbert brought him here in answer to our prayers. Now, girls,
(04:49):
said Alice, we have to realize that a man brings
problems as well as possibilities. There was a matter of
fact hardness in her tone which almost masked the quiver
behind it. There was a defiant note of competition there
which had not been heard on this little planet before.
What do you mean, asked Sarah. I know what she means,
(05:11):
said Margaret, and the new hardness came natural to her.
She means, which one of us gets him? Betsy the
Youngest gasped, her mouth rounded to a startled oh. Sarah
blinked as though she were coming out of a daze.
That's right, said Alice. Do we draw straws or do
we let him choose? Couldn't we wait? Suggested Betsy timidly.
(05:35):
Couldn't we wait until he gets well? Herbert came in
with a new thermometer and poked it into the unconscious
man's mouth. He stood by the bed, waiting patiently. No,
I don't think we can, said Alice. I think we
ought to have it all worked out and agreed on
so there won't be any dispute about it. I say,
(05:56):
draw straws, said Margaret. Margaret's face was thin and she
had a skinny figure. Betsy the Youngest opened her mouth
but thereof forestalled her. We are not on earth, she
said firmly in her soft, mellow voice. We don't have
to follow terrestrial customs, and we shouldn't. There's only one
(06:17):
solution that will keep everybody happy, all of us and
the man, and that is, asked Margaret dryly, polygamy. Of course,
he must belong to us all. Betsy shuddered, but surprisingly
she nodded. That's well and good, agreed Margaret. But we
have to agree that no one of us will be
(06:38):
favored above the others. He has to understand that from
the start. That's fair, said Alice, pursing her lips. Yes,
that's fair. But I agree with Margaret. He must be
divided equally among the four of us. Chattering over the details,
the hard competitiveness vanished from their tones. The four left
(06:58):
the sick room to prepare for supper. After supper, they
went back in. Herbert stood by the bed, the eternal
smile of service on his metal face. As always, Herbert
had not required a direct command to accede to their wishes.
The man was divided into four quarters, one for each
(07:19):
of them. It was a very neat, surgical job. Service
with a smile by Charles L. Fontenet
Nervis with a smile by Charles L. Fontenet. Herbert was
(00:06):
truly a gentleman robot. The lady's slightest wish was his command.
Herbert bowed with a muted clink, indicating he probably needed
oiling somewhere, and presented Alice with a perfect Martini on
a silver tray. He stood holding the tray with a white,
permanent porcelain smile on his smooth metal face as Alice
(00:26):
sipped the drink and grimaced. It's a good martini. Herbert said, Alice,
thank you, but damn it, I wish you didn't have
that everlasting smile. I am very sorry, miss Alice, but
I am unable to alter myself in any way, replied
Herbert in a polite, hollow voice. He retired to a
(00:48):
corner and stood impassively, still holding the tray. Herbert had
found a silver deposit and made the tray. Herbert had
found a sand and made the cocktail glass. Herbert had
combined God knew what atmospheric and earth chemicals to make
what tasted like gin and vermouth, and Herbert had frozen
the ice to chill it. Sometimes, said Sarah wistfully. It
(01:13):
occurs to me, it would be better to live in
a mud hut with a real man than in a
mansion with Herbert. The fore women lolled comfortably in a
living room of their spacious house, as luxurious as anything
any of them would have known on a distant earth.
The rugs were thick, the furniture was over stuffed. The
paintings on the walls were aesthetic and inspiring. The shelves
(01:35):
were filled with book tapes and music tapes. Herbert had
done it all, except to the book tapes and music
tapes which had been salvaged from the wrecked spaceship. Do
you suppose we'll ever escape from this best of all
possible manless worlds, asked Betsy, fluffing her thick black hair
with her fingers and inspecting herself in a Herbert made mirror.
(01:57):
I don't see how, answered Alice glumly. That atmospheric trap
would wreck any other spaceship just as it wrecked ours,
and the same magnetic layer prevents any radio message from
getting out. Now, I'm afraid we're a colony. A colony
perpetuates itself, reminded sharp faced Margaret acidly. We aren't a
(02:19):
colony without men, They were not the prettiest women in
the universe, nor the youngest. The prettiest women and the
youngest did not go to space. But they were young
enough and healthy enough, or they could not have gone
to space. It had been a year and a half now,
an earth year and a half, on a nice little
(02:39):
planet revolving around a nice little yellow sun. Herbert the
robot was obedient and versatile, and had provided them with
a house, food, clothing, anything they wished, created out of
the raw materials of earth and air and water. But
the bones of all the men who had been a
space with these four ladies lay moldering in the wreckage
(03:01):
of their spaceship, and Herbert could not create a man.
Herbert did not have to have direct orders, and he
had tried once to create a man when he had
overheard them wishing for one. They buried the corpse, perfect
in every detail except that it had never been alive.
(03:23):
It's been a hot day, said Alice, fanning her brow.
I wish it would rain. Silently, Herbert moved from his
corner and went out the door. Margaret gestured after him
with a bitter little laugh. It'll rain this afternoon, she said.
I don't know how Herbert does it, maybe with silver
eyed eyed, but it'll rain. Wouldn't it have been simpler
(03:47):
to get him to air condition the house, Alice. That's
a good idea, said Alice, thoughtfully. We should have had
him do it before. Herbert had not quite completed the
task of air conditioning the house when the other space
ship crashed. They all rushed out to the smoking side,
the four women and Herbert. It was a tiny scout
(04:07):
ship and its single occupant was alive. He was unconscious,
but he was alive, and he was a man. They
carted him back to the house tenderly and put him
to bed. They hovered over him like four hands over
a single chick, waiting and watching for him to come
out of his coma, while Herbert scurried about creating and
(04:29):
administering the necessary medicines. He'll live, said Sarah, happily. Sara
had been a space nurse. He'll be on his feet
and walking around in a few days. A man murmured Betsy,
with something like awe in her voice. I could almost
believe Herbert brought him here in answer to our prayers. Now, girls,
(04:49):
said Alice, we have to realize that a man brings
problems as well as possibilities. There was a matter of
fact hardness in her tone which almost masked the quiver
behind it. There was a defiant note of competition there
which had not been heard on this little planet before.
What do you mean, asked Sarah. I know what she means,
(05:11):
said Margaret, and the new hardness came natural to her.
She means, which one of us gets him? Betsy the
Youngest gasped, her mouth rounded to a startled oh. Sarah
blinked as though she were coming out of a daze.
That's right, said Alice. Do we draw straws or do
we let him choose? Couldn't we wait? Suggested Betsy timidly.
(05:35):
Couldn't we wait until he gets well? Herbert came in
with a new thermometer and poked it into the unconscious
man's mouth. He stood by the bed, waiting patiently. No,
I don't think we can, said Alice. I think we
ought to have it all worked out and agreed on
so there won't be any dispute about it. I say,
(05:56):
draw straws, said Margaret. Margaret's face was thin and she
had a skinny figure. Betsy the Youngest opened her mouth
but thereof forestalled her. We are not on earth, she
said firmly in her soft, mellow voice. We don't have
to follow terrestrial customs, and we shouldn't. There's only one
(06:17):
solution that will keep everybody happy, all of us and
the man, and that is, asked Margaret dryly, polygamy. Of course,
he must belong to us all. Betsy shuddered, but surprisingly
she nodded. That's well and good, agreed Margaret. But we
have to agree that no one of us will be
(06:38):
favored above the others. He has to understand that from
the start. That's fair, said Alice, pursing her lips. Yes,
that's fair. But I agree with Margaret. He must be
divided equally among the four of us. Chattering over the details,
the hard competitiveness vanished from their tones. The four left
(06:58):
the sick room to prepare for supper. After supper, they
went back in. Herbert stood by the bed, the eternal
smile of service on his metal face. As always, Herbert
had not required a direct command to accede to their wishes.
The man was divided into four quarters, one for each
(07:19):
of them. It was a very neat, surgical job. Service
with a smile by Charles L. Fontenet
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