Episode Transcript
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When I was a kid, Iused to go to Catechism, and everything
they talk about Jesus was something thatdidn't add any value to my life.
It was something that didn't captivate meor catch my attention. Very possible because
it was an obligation imposed by myparents, just like going to school.
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Catechism was boring, Mass was boring, the priest was boring, and everything
related to the Church was boring untilrecently, when someone described the birth of
Christ to me, How could themost powerful man who walked the face of
the earth be born in a palacewhere cows and donkeys were fed? Shouldn't
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he have been born in a palaceworth of a king. The first to
go to see him were those whowere the outcasts of society at the time,
the shepherds. Shepherds like David,people whom no one valued. How
this is possible? That he wasborn in this way, in the almost
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way possible, even in his birthserved as lesson to me. For one
of the most important lessons of mylife, I discovered that Jesus was a
man made of flesh and bone,like us, just like us, who
got angry when necessary, who wasa gentle when necessary, who was called
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when necessary, who cried just likeus, who loved just like us,
who loved just like us. Buthe was not like us. He came
to here to show us how tolove one another in the simplest way possible,
and which is so difficult for us. I will remind you what he
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told us. Love your enemies,do good to those who hate you,
Pray for happiness for those who curseyou. Bless those who curse you,
and pray to God on behalf ofthose who mistreat you. If someone slaps
you on one cheek, offer theother one to If someone demands your coat,
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give them your shirt as well.Give to everyone who asks you.
And if they take what belongs toyou, do not demand it back.
Do to others what you want themto do to you, and ask you
how this is possible. Well,this is what put into practice by Diane
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Foley. And who is Diane Foley. She is the mother of James Foley.
James Foley was killed by ISIS intotwenty fourteen decapitated, which the video
filmed and posted on YouTube. Theterrorist who killed him, or was involved
in the murder of James Foley wasknown within the terrorist group as the Beatle
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because he was English, but hisreal name is Alexander. Diane went to
meet him to get to know himand talk to him. She reconciled with
the man Alexander Coty, how thisis possible? Could I do it?
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Could you, my listener do it? This is what we talk about today's
episode about how to Love. Thisis the David and Goliath podcast, and
I will tell you real stories fromnormal people who had great, mighty wars
and defeated their giants. James Foleywas a journalist and a VID reporter who
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in twenty twelve was covering the SyrianCivil War in that country. James Fowley
was American originally from a North Americancity called Everstone, Illinois, the oldest
of five children of Diana Foley.During the Syrian Civil War, Foley worked
as a freelancer for Global Posts,an addiction to other media outlets such as
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Agency Franz Press. On November twentysecond, twenty twelve, Foley was kidnapped
by an organized gang after leaving acoffee with British journalist John Cantley in the
northwest Seri while they were on theirway to the Turkish border. He Foley
was used as a means to drawthe world's attention to show the hatred that
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isis fell towards the United States.There were several attempts by the US to
rescue him, but without any kindof success. On August nineteenth, twenty
fourteen, Foley was seen in avideo on YouTube. In that video,
Foley appears kneeling next to a terroristdressed in black, reading a long message
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of hatred against the United States.Folly was beheaded in less than ten seconds
on that same day. The videodoes not show the moment, but shows
the world the body of James Fowleylying on the desert ground dead. Well,
this is in the eyes of allof us, deserve revenge, and
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this is what the UUs authority said. The Attorney General, Eric Holder said
the following in twenty fourteen, wewill not forget what happened, and people
will be held it accountable one wayor on the other. And this is
what happened. The beetle was capturedand brought to the United States. He
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was charged with all the crimes hewas accused of, including the death of
James Fowley. Most likely the storywould here, but no in this case
The death of James Foley led tothe creation of the Foley Foundation, funded
by his mother, Diane Foley.The mission of this foundation is to secure
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the freedom of Americans and jentuly,help captivate abroad, prevent future kidnappings,
and promote journalist safety. According toDiane, this is what James wanted,
but she also said that he probablywanted to do something else, to talk
to his executor. Alexander pleaded guiltyto all charges against him during the trial,
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and it was in this that Dianesaw an opportunity to talked to him.
But why, because according to Diane, it would be what James wanted
to do first to know why allthis and then try to understand the reason
for his son's death. Many peopletried to dissude Diane from this idea because
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they thought it was an absolutely nonsensical, completely crazy one. However, she
went ahead with the crazy idea.Seven years after James's death, Diana went
to meet Alexander in a courtroom inthe state of Virginia, United States of
America. They were not alone inthe room, if BI agents, court
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personnel, and lawyers were with them. Diane said that at first it was
all very strange and awkward. Neitherof them felt comfortable with each other.
Alexander was dressing the prison attor shackledfrom ankles to the wrists. They approached
a table and stared at each other. Shortly after, Diane said hello,
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Alexander, it's a pleasure to meetyou. According to the author of the
book American Mother, a book aboutthe Foundation James's story and his encounter,
named Colin McCain, it was somethingspecial. It was mythical, mythical because
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according to Colin, it was aboutviolence, faith, death, courage,
and forgiveness. It was one ofthe most externorinary moments of his life.
Diane looked into his eyes of hersons killer, smeled his sense and spoke
with him. Alexander showed her photographersof his children living in London and explain
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why helicid in isis. We talkedto her about the anger he felt towards
the United States and everything that hadnegatively affected him in his life, a
person who in the end is ahuman being who unfortunately made very strong decisions
throughout their life. Diana wanted totake something positive from her son's death.
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He couldn't have been in vain.Not only did she create a foundation,
but she also showed all of uswhat Jesus told us to do, which
I mentioned at the beginning of thisepisode. In the end, she not
only got to know the personal Alexanderis, but also amazingly forgave him.
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She forgave him because, according toher, this forgiveness is a part of
her grieving process. And above all, she forgave him because it's her will
and God's will. It was herwill and God's will and gave us a
great lesson and how we should livethis life and trust it to us.
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But what does it mean? Howis it possible to forgive? Right now,
I'm thinking about several people I don'twant to be around, preferably I
want them far away from me andmy life. At the same time,
I imagine myself forgiving them, justlike Diane did with Alexander. It's not
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easy. Oh no, no,of course, it's not for giving someone
who was hurt me. It's noteasy. It's easier to insult, it's
easier to seek revenge. It's easyto hold on to that cheap anger.
They caused me pain, betrayed me, tried me up. How could they
have the agudocity to do that.We often ask. We also sometimes ask,
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I did this and that, andat the end, is this what
I get in return? Betrayal,pain, hurt? This is what happens
to all of us. This iswhat I have done and sometimes still do,
with people who judge me, whotalk about badly about me behind my
back, with people who have stolenfrom me, abandoned me, tore me
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down, civilized me. The otherday, I was having dinner, and
when I have dinner alone, Ilike to listen to podcasts. That day
I was listening to a bit ofAutomist by Simon Sinek, and the theme
was moral courage and guess who wasthe guest, Yes, Diana Fowley.
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That's when I learned her story.Naturally, I want to know more about
who she is, what she does, and what really happened. Immediately I
related to my own situation. Imade a list of people I don't like,
and even some I deeply resent.Some of them. I feel like
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a could thought them. Then Iimagine being in a room with each one
over them, extending my hand,greeting them, and then forgive them them,
just like Diane did. Impossible thatwas my first thought. Since I'm
not one to give up, Idecided to cut the elephant into very small
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stakes, just like I do whenlife presents challenging situation to me, like
in this case. In other words, I tried to put myself in their
chees. I tried to imagine theexplanation for why they hurt me when we
were in the same boat together.I imagine their lives. I imagine what
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was going through their heads. Iimagine the stress they were under. I
managed the anguish, I managed thebelief they held. Even the case of
the people who were in the closestcircle of friends, I imagine their childhoods
and the reason behind certain behaviors orconversations. I imagine everything possible and plausible
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that could justify what they did orsaid, Just as Alexander Cotty did when
he showed Diana pictures of his children, explaining the anger he felt was the
Americans at the time, which ledhim to become a terrorist, Just like
Alexander Coty did when he showed Dianathat he wasn't a monster, but a
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human being who made wrong decisions inhis life. You want to know something
wonderful that I discovered By doing thisexercise, I discovered that I made mistakes,
and those mistakes led these people todo what they did or say what
they said to me. I alreadyknew I wasn't perfect, of course,
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but I never thought I was ahuman. Was those who hurt me that
I also betrayed and hurt others.Then two possible paths appear before me.
First one feeling guilty for everything Idid wrong that led to what happened,
or forgiving them, or at thesame time, forgiving myself. Everything I
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did I did because I thought itwas the best possible thing at that time.
That everything others did was also becausethey thought it was the best thing
they could at that exact moment.Will blaming myself change anything? Will blaming
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myself forced me to make the rightdecisions for my future life. Will blaming
myself make me have a better life? Maybe, But it will be a
very heavy burden to carry, andI don't want to. I hoped for
the second option. It's not aboutabsolving myself or of what I did.
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No, I admit my mistakes andalso arm others. Can I go back
and change my story, No,of course not, But I can look
back, accept this mistake that Imade, and learn from it and never
do it again or avoid does itmost much possible in the future. I
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apologize and ask for your forgiveness foroffending you, just I forgive everything that
has been done to army, soI will move forward on my path.
Not everything in life will always begood, but I prefer to see the
good in everything that crossed my path. Is it easier, No, no,
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it's not. It's the hardest thing, but I want to do it
because it's the right thing to do. Always extract light from darkness, because
there are days in our lives wheneverything is so dark, just like a
new moonlight. Days ago, afriend sent me a ted X speech about
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the woman who was on the vergeof death, recounting her near death experience
and what she learned from it.Her name is Anita Moorgini, and I
strongly recommend you to go and seewhat she said. As nothing happens by
chance, as I often say,I realized that it is has everything to
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do with my forgiveness experience that Imentioned earlier. She drew several lessons from
this experience. One of them waslove love towards others, but precisely towards
ourselves. If we love ourselves deeplybeyond putting up barriers to others in certain
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situations, we will automat love otherpeople deeply as well. In my excesses
of on forgiveness, the fact thatI acknowledge that I made mistakes, and
by identifying these mistakes, I caninvoid them in the future along my journey
on this earth, This too isin an act of loving myself. Think
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the other way around. If Ihad chosen to blame myself, wipe myself,
punish myself. Do you think thisis loving myself? I think not.
In fact, I said it isnot. It's hating myself. It's
feeling a deep disgust for myself.What I want to is to live in
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peace, not in this war withmyself. All this is like a glass
into which life pours water, andit keeps pouring and pouring until overflows and
takes the water elsewhere out of thatglass. This is what love is.
The more love, the more welike ourselves, the more we can love
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and forgive those who have offended us. How is it possible to turn the
other cheek when someone hit us Ifwe don't like ourselves. How is it
possible to forgive if we can forgiveourselves. How is it possible to forgive
if we don't look at the others, those who hurt us, as human
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beings, as flesh and blood,as we are, as flesh and blood,
as Jesus was. We recognize ourhumble that we are not superior to
anyone, that other makes mistakes asserious as we do, that we are
as human as Alexander Courti was.We recognize that they, those who hurt
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us, did the best they knewat that time, just like us.
As we say here in Portugal,we are all flower from the same case,
wherever we like it or not.As I mentioned in a few episodes
ago, there is no us andthem, only us. May we always
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hold on into into this wisdom throughoutour lives. As sea trees, some
green, red roses, I seethem blue. It's farming you, and
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I into myself. What a wonderfulass is skys some blue, the clouds,
some white, the bright blessed day, the dark saved night. And
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I thank you myself what I wonderfor the colors of the rainbow so pretty
in the sky, A polso onthe faces of people going by. I
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see friends shaking as saying, howthey really saying I love? I hear
bags, clouds. I watched themgrow. They're line much more then I
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never know. And I think tomyself, what I wand up from?
Yeah, I thank you myself,what I wand up for, Yes,