Casual Sex & Respect, Waiting for Commitment, Letting Go of Deadweight Love + More

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In this episode of Dear Tisia, we’re diving deep into the messy middle of love, respect, and knowing when to walk away.

💌 First, we hear from a confident woman juggling multiple casual situations — no commitment on either side — but now she’s wondering if respect can survive after the physical is involved. Can you keep it fun and still protect your heart?

💍 Next, a caller in the “rebuilding” stage of a relationship asks the question many face: When is it time to make it official again? After months of healing, how long is too long to wait for a commitment?

🚪 Then, a woman in a six-year situationship with zero emotional, financial, or spiritual support is desperate to finally leave… but keeps letting him back in. With her 40th birthday approaching, she wants to reclaim her peace, her space, and her future.

🌹 Fragrance Break: We’re featuring Soie Malaquais by Dries Van Noten — notes of bergamot, black currant, rose, silk, chestnut, and cocoa.

🚩 Red Flag Report: We unpack the internet debate around Keyshia Ka’oir Davis’ viral comments about how she cares for her husband Gucci Mane. Is it empowering devotion… or self-sacrifice disguised as love language?

👇 Sound off in the comments — Can casual sex and respect co-exist? Would you wait months to be “official” again? And is too much love even a thing?

🩷Fragrance: Soie Malaquais (by Dries Van Noten)

Call In Here: https://www.relationshiprestored.com/deartisiawrite-in

🔔 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share with someone who needs to hear this.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You cannot give a fish to a man that's not
a fisherman. If you give a fish to a man
that is not a fisherman, when the fish is gone,
he's going to come back and ask you for another
fucking fish. If you give a fish to a man
that has a business plan, that has determination, that has

(00:20):
the qualities, he's going to learn how to fish and
take the fish and say, wow, thanks for feeding me
when I was hungry. Here's one hundred fucking fish for
our family. But if he's not a fisherman, okay, he's
gonna come back and ask you for another fish when
it's gone. Period. Okay, y'all, welcome back to another episode

(00:56):
of Your to Sea. We have a couple of subscription reminders,
that is, to follow the Dear to See a podcast
on the Apple and Spotify. Make sure you click follow
on Apple and on Spotify, leave us a five star
review now one, not two, not four, five five star review,
and then subscribe to the Relationship Restore channel and the

(01:18):
Dear to See a YouTube channel. Now we have a
new home for all of the videos, so they'll now
be hosted on to See an XBS. But I'm still
a part of relationship for store, y'all, so don't worry.
But you can now watch all of the episodes on
the to See an XBS channel, and we need to
get our watch hours up so we can monitor ze.
So please please please okay, running in your car, running
in your house, like while you're cleaning up, running in

(01:39):
the gym, child, watch it on to See an XBS.
We can start now making us look coins. Okay, help
the girls out. And then some of our goals are
fifty k followers on Apple Podcasts, one thousand reviews. We
already surpassed five hundred. That was our first goal, so
we crushed that. Now we've up it to one thousand,
and then we want to have a ndred thousand subscribers

(02:01):
on both channels, which is totally totally doable. We have
Courtney back. Okay, so we have Courtney back. If y'all
listen to the last episode. I always like to introduce
my guest here on the show, and Corny and I
met during our Ready to Love season, if y'all ever watch,
if y'all don't know, y'all, or I did dibble and

(02:23):
out onto a little reality television on own networks. Ready
to Love many many moons ago and Courtney was one
of my castmates and we've been locked in ever since.
Still stay closed. If anybody ever notice ever wonders. Some
people always say like, oh, do y'all still talk to
each other? Do y'all still talk? Yes, we do, and
Courtney is here talk everything's love, life, data and relationship

(02:44):
in these men.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Chiw Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
So we have a listener review and it's entitled A
Fan of All Things to Sea. I just love to
see if she's a realist. I'm loving the new podcast.
I can listen to her all day. She speaks to truth,
a very wise young lady. I adore her. Love you back, girl,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning in and
watching all of the episodes.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Voicemail one is entitled I'm just here for the thrill,
but I still want respect. Let's hear it, dare to
see you.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
I have been talking to multiple guys that are not
interested in a relationship, and I have gotten to the
point where I'm doing them how they do me. I
am here for the thrill, I'm here for the fun.
I'm here maybe even just to get some dick. And
I am realizing that I am guarding my heart, but
also like, at the end of the day, I do

(03:41):
want to be respected by these guys. So how do
I gain their respect back after I've already let them
have sex with me? The guys that I've been talking
to have been on and off for years. None of
them are interested in being serious, and I'm not interested
in a really relationship either, But at the end of

(04:02):
the day, like, I do want their respect, and this
may come from just by allowing them not to have
not to sleep with me anymore, but to see I
would love to know your advice on someone on a girl,
a beautiful girl that can have anyone she wants, and
she pursues all of these sexy, confident, well established men.

(04:23):
And we've done what needed to be done, and we're
still kind of seeing each other on and off. We
talk here and there, and at this point, I'm just
here for a good time. But how do I keep
it to where we are able to have a friendship
for years to come after we've already slept together and
we're we're all just having fun. If this makes sense,

(04:46):
I hope it helps.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Laugh like that, you know, I think she gets them,
Like what she's asking for is kind of crazy. Yet, like, girl,
I look at the camera and I say this, you
cannot do what these niggas do. The friend with benefits
thing for a woman is a scam. It never works,
It never works, it never works. I'm trying to tell

(05:11):
you somebody is gonna get caught up emotionally. Women cannot
play men games. I have met so many women that's
just like, I don't want a relationship. I'm just here
for a good time. The two months, six months, eight
months day on my line crying about it. You cannot
do what these men do. And a man is always

(05:32):
gonna think differently about you after he's had sex with you.
It's just the way that the cookie crumble. Now. I
think that there are men that have admire things about
you be prior to they have thought about you in
a different way. They have really wanted to get to
know you and date you, and then the sex happens.

(05:52):
But when the sex happens, and that person is now
like slipping back into this friend zone. I don't want
a relationship type of thing. Just let you know what
their intentions were. Like she's she wants their respect, but
she is open to the friends with benefits and I
just think that those things are too too are different.

(06:15):
I always say people ask me like, oh when a man,
when you have sex with a man on the first
day or the second day or too soon, does that
mess up? Like how he thinks about you? And I
always say, first, he gonna think I'm that nigga, like
I'm him. She likes me so much that she gave
it to me. The second thing that he's thinking is

(06:36):
does she do this with everybody? First, he gonna be
feeling himself like bed I begged her, she got it.
She must really like me. It's always about him. And
then the second thing is gonna be like, hold on
after that, look post after that, like you know what
I'm saying, the moment happens, okay, post not clarity, Okay,

(06:56):
he gonna be like, ho, hold on, hold on, like
are you out here doing is? I've seen it on
my own, So I let me tell you this. A
lot of times men date us. I just talked about
this in a real A lot of times men date
us and they're actually disappointed when you're wondering like, oh, well,
why did he pursue me? Why did he want to

(07:17):
be with me? And then now all of a sudden,
he pull it back and he wants me to chase him.
He got to fucking know you, and he's disappointed. Let
me tell you this, it's my shit. So I can
say I done disappointed a couple niggas. I know that
there are a man out here that was just like
admire me from Afar and it was like surprise, I'm
a whole like surprise, surprise. Look I fuck you that

(07:40):
in a week. Like I know that I disappointed you,
like I think that men they see you from Afar
and they're like, wow, look at Cortney. She's out here
doing her things. She's a boss or whatever. And then
they get you on. They see you off that cost
of me goos you drunk as a fucking fish. You're dying,
don't consist of nothing. You're listening to trap music every
time you wake up. You know what I'm saying. You
have no morning routine, you have no core values, and

(08:02):
they date you and they they like, damn, like I
thought it was something else. It's actually disappointing. And I
think when you always say y'all can't do what I
can do, But I think that like for myself, I
know that I can pull away and not be attached,
or just really date from a place of autonomy and
get the things that I want and pull over. But

(08:23):
I promise you I am disappointing a couple niggas. Cordy Like,
now niggas probably been like, oh, this is this is
what you're out here doing. It's like, you know, you know,
I can't expect too much from it, but a lot
of us are disappointing. And so now she's like, she
wants the respect. They're disappointed in you. They thought you

(08:47):
were cool, that you were this great girl, that you
were this, that you were that, and then they got
up on you. They got close enough to you, they
got proximity to you. They always say, look a christlid
three hundred look like a fantom and to a fanom
pull up, okay. And he got up on you. He
got close enough in proximity to actually know you, and
you lost the respect. He like, oh this was it?

(09:08):
Like this this is really all you about. And as
a woman, you just gotta he's gotta accept that, like
after you've already offered yourself to them, like what other
value did you bring? And I think that that is
a difference from a man that has sex with you
and he's just gone, and then a man that has
actually seen value in you prior to So it's like

(09:29):
you want the respect. If you want the respect, present
the respect, respect yourself and offer things that are more valuable.
Or that's conversation, whether that's networking, whether that's kindness, patience, nurturing, compromise.
What else are you bringing if you just want the
respect because you're seeing you there for a good time,
not a long time, and you're the epitome of the
woman that I'm talking about that think that they can

(09:51):
do friends will benefits things, and then you want the
respect of a girlfriend. It doesn't work like that. They
always say me And when they first mean they put
you in two categories. It's either you his wife or
his whore. Have you heard that either you his wife
or his whoror And the man first meet you, he
thinking about you in two totally different categories, while you
either one or the other. And it doesn't mean that

(10:12):
he literally thinks you were a horror. But it's just
like you can't be my wife. You either did, so
I'm just either about to play with you or about
to marry. They say that men put you in two categories.
You can't do the friends with benefits and linky sneaky
link situation. Then like, oh well I want the respect
to it doesn't it just it just it just doesn't.
It doesn't work like that.

Speaker 4 (10:30):
Have you experienced this, like, I think you're not gonna
get the respect back. That's gone, gone is gone. You
put out fast as you you know what I'm saying.
It's just what you sometimes women. You gotta take your
l take it. Like I said, I know disappointed a
couple of niggas. He probably thought he was gonna get
some wife and just hold some woman and baby that man. Hey,

(10:56):
we did some things and I was like, thank you, pull,
I'll leave your money on the counter, and he probably
thought it was gonna be a lot.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
I know I have disappointed a couple of people. I
promise you I have. Like, it's just like you, you're
not gonna get the respect after you've reached that peak
with him. If you want the respect, be respectful. This
is why they always say women when they like a man,
they make him wait. When you ain't got no intention
with these niggas that you just like, okay, like it
is what it is. But when you like a man,

(11:24):
you actually make him wait a little more, you make
him do a little bit because it's just you. You
want the respect. You want him to actually respect you.
And you know women are stupid. You know that when
you a little bit more liberal and you a little
bit more, you know that there's a possibility that that
that connection is gonna end in a situationship if you

(11:46):
just if you move too quick, you move too quick
on the intimacy. So I don't think I don't think
she gonna she gonna ever get the respect back, like
you said, and then she asks, can you truly gain
or regain a man's respect after sex if they're a
relationship wasn't serious to begin with, Take that l to

(12:08):
the chace, just start over it just it really, honestly,
just is what it is like men like that, that's
what they want, that they're looking for that and even
a man that's a lot more reserved because you have
to understand that like men will also wait for the
woman that they really care about, want to and want
to deal with. So he had no discipline either. He

(12:31):
was he he pulled a trigger on and he went
the poundtown. And you are not gonna get the respect.
I think after you've already kind of crossed that boundary,
because again, first she's gonna be thinking like, yeah, I
knew she was feeling me, And then he gonna be like,
hold on, is this your typical? Is this how you

(12:53):
typically move with people?

Speaker 5 (12:54):
You know?

Speaker 1 (12:54):
I think that they think about that, you know, afterwards.
So yeah, friend, I don't think. I don't think she
she going there with it. I don't think she's gonna
get the respect. And is it possible to keep long
term friendships with men you casually slept with? Or is
that wishful thinking? She is all over the place. She
don't know what she wants. She want the respect, but
she want the friends with benefits. She did what she

(13:16):
wanted to do. Now she want to keep a long
term Stop collecting these men. I promise you. Women have
to have a different standard of what a friend is.
Let me explain to you what a male friend is.
A male friend is somebody that got your back, that
will support you, that's dependable, that's reliable, that you can
call on, that's gonna come get you off the side

(13:37):
of the road. That's your protect your protector. He is
gonna lie, He's not gonna let people play with you.
He got your back front, side to side. He cares
about your well being. He's calling to check up on you.
If these niggas are not doing any of that, this
is not your friend. Stop putting males that you rolled
around with but it didn't materialize into a relationship into
the friend category. That is not a friend. Think about

(14:00):
your girlfriends that you have standards for, Courtney, I want
you to support me. I want you to be there
for me if I'm having a sad day, I want
you to show up. If I have a death in
the family, I want you. That is These men don't
be doing none of that. Like, just because it didn't
work out you had sex with him and it didn't
turn into a relationship, doesn't mean the default is a friendship.

(14:21):
This nigga is not your friend. He probably hit you
with the damn ne's crazy. Remember that time when you'm
tires blue out, he hits you with the damn that's crazy.
He called you the next day. I was like you good.
He didn't help you. So why are these men being
put in the front like women have to stop doing this.
This person is actually not a friend. They're a person

(14:41):
that didn't materialize into a romantic relationship for whatever reason,
and now they're just a human that's existing. They're not
your friend. Okay, long lasting friendship? Do you think that?
Do you think do you think it's possible to keep
long term friendships with me? This is not your He's

(15:01):
not a friend, like, seriously, like and honestly, everybody gotta
earn their keep in my life. My male friends are
real freaking friends. If I call them, they'll be here
in five minutes. If I said I can't, I can't
make my rent, I don't got my rent money that
Venmo cash app zel five minutes, say less, I got you.

(15:24):
That's a friend. They don't want nothing from you. They
don't want you know what I'm saying. They're not expect
they're not flirting with you, they're not trying to. Okay,
it's no funny business. Like y'all have to start putting
men that are friends in the right category. A sneaky
link that didn't work out is not your friend. Now, Okay,

(15:44):
let it go. You couldn't. You couldn't This man got
a pot of pista in the window to throw it
out of it wouldn't do nothing for one help you
out one save you won't can't even be a listening ear.
He's not your friend. Okay, I hate when people do that.
Stop doing that anyways, girl, you ain't gonna get the
respect you rolled around with. Please find out what you're
trying to do. Find out what's trying to do. She
she's just floating around. You want a friend's benefits, You

(16:06):
don't like you just you just floating around. I think
you should really center yourself, slow down a little bit,
and really find out what your values are and where
you're trying to where you're trying to go with this right, Like,
if you want to just have a good time, have
a good time, but the respect is out the window.
You don't get to have it both. We don't get
friends with benefits and respect, and once emotions get involved,

(16:29):
it's no longer friends with benefits. So there's that voicemail
number two. We're we're rebuilding, but when is it official?
A see it?

Speaker 6 (16:40):
Dear Tesia. I have been dating a guy for about
seven months now, since November seven eight months. I've known
him for about a year. We've said I love you,
We've traveled together, We've gone across the country together. He
met my family and like flew out of state to
meet them, and I've met his family and all of
the things, so all of the reallyationship things. We kind

(17:01):
of fell out a couple months ago, we weren't dating anymore,
and then rekindle things and have really developed I think,
something really beautiful. We were on the path to be
like in a committed relationship until we fell out, and
I feel like we've been rebuilding since then. But I
am curious on how long does it take to kind

(17:24):
of finalize that commitment phase when you are rebuilding your relationship.
I don't want to rush it, but I also feel
that seven to eight months is a long time, especially
in my late twenties, meant to be dating without a
formal commitment. So I'm just curious about your thoughts.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
He already knows if he wants to commit to you
or not, period seven to eight months. He's met your family,
y'all said, I love you, He's flown out to see
your fan, blah blah. He already knows literally all. It
does not take that long. This man already knows if
he wants to commit to you. That's number one. Number two,
it's important, And I say this. Please make sure that
this is the last falling out and rekindling that you do.

(18:05):
Off and known equals off you do. The One of
the biggest red flags is if you are off and
on with anybody. Okay. One of the most dangerous men
in the world is these helicopter men. That you break
up with them, two weeks later they circling back. They
hoover in the back around. Okay, they hovering it when
they want to come back. Then you break up with them,

(18:25):
and then they come back indecisive. No, vision don't know
where he want to go. He just being with you
because he's familiar with you, is comfortable in this casual Okay,
let this be the last time that y'all have a
breakup or a falling out before y'all have actually made
a commitment. He already knows. He already knows right now
if he wants to be with you. That's that's just

(18:47):
that he knows if he wants to be with you.
But I think more importantly is that she's saying that
they're rebuilding and now she wants to know, like when
should she expect a finalized commitment like a type don't
want it?

Speaker 4 (19:01):
When she asks you don't think she should ask them like, hey,
this is where we're at, what are we doing?

Speaker 2 (19:07):
What do we have going on? If not move forward?
What I mean? How much? How much time do you need?
Or is the ball in his core? Is that what
we're is that what we're doing?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
I always am interested on like the falling out part,
like this is my thing and I don't know maybe
because it's like my age or what, But where do
you think you going? Okay, if we are dating, all right,
there ain't no following out, nigga, you better take your
ass upstairs and breed and count to tend. Okay, there's
no falling out, breaking up or nothing like that. So

(19:39):
I'm always interested on like what has been happening since
y'all broken up and now y'all have rekindled and got
back together. A lot of times, I promise you, Courtney,
A lot of times when women say that they're that
they're rekindling and they got back together, the woman initiated it.
How much you want to bet that she initiated the
reconnect and the rekindling or that they just fell back

(20:02):
into being together, which is why she is unclear about
where that they where they should be going. I think
that if he has met your parents and that you
are saying that I love you, that that man should
be your boyfriend in a committed relationship, and you actually
should be You should be a little lyricic said she's

(20:23):
in her late twenties about bringing him into that space
without the formal without the formal commitment. I think she
has all the right now to be like, hey, this
is what I want, this is what i'm you know,
I'm looking for. Is that in alignment with what with
what you want? Like? Where do you kind of see this?

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:39):
I think I think you're right, like I think she
I think he already knows. Though I think he already knows,
but I think she should probably say something you know
about this, Like if I gotta say something, do you
really I feel like if we were and you came
back after two months, it's like when we spent the

(21:00):
couple months apart or after a breakup, like I don't
want to have to I feel like now it's like, okay,
we're back together now like press the gap. You came
back for a reason, So now you came back and
I got to wait on the commitment we were together,
we broke up. You found we found our way back
to each other, and I have to wait on the commitment.
Now what are we doing? Like literally, what are we doing?

(21:21):
How do you balance given the relationship space to heal
with honoring your own time? Like this is another shiit, bitch?
Tell me what you did? Tell me what happened. That's
why I helped people leave the shit out, Like what happened?
We had a rough patch and and we fell out,
We took a break? What the what happened? Because them
fallouts is different? Like did he cheat? Did he lie?
Did he you know? Did you say something really disrespectful?

(21:43):
Did you hit below the belt? Did you you know,
call him out of his name? What actually happened? I
think that that context would have really helped. But relationship
space to heal with honoring your own timeline and needs.
I think that she's probably the one that's that initiated
the reconnection, and she's probably the one that's pushing the
relations I think he chilling. I don't really feel any

(22:04):
urgency for him to him to want to to be
in a committed relationship. But I think that if she
you have to know your partner too. I think that
because he seems just my assumption that he seems a
little bit more lax that if she actually presented it
to him, he probably be like, oh, okay, you know,
and I know plenty of women that are actually married

(22:25):
in healthy marriages with a partner that's just like, okay, yeah,
we could do that. Okay, cool, we get like it
ain't too much. It ain't They ain't gonna press you
out about it. They don't really have any real investment
with it. So he may be one of those guys too,
was just like, okay, you want to be together, Okay, yeah,
we could do that. You want to meet each other family, Okay,
you love me? Yell, I love you too.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
You know.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
So maybe I feel like that's.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
And you're not going nowhere? She not going nowhere? Where's
she going? You want to be with him?

Speaker 4 (22:53):
That he's not going to press the issue because he
doesn't feel like he's losing you.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah. I think I think it would be great to
know like what actually transpire, just to get more context
on like if it's actually like if it can be repair.
But I think she should. I think if she let
him take the lead on bringing up are we in
a relationship, she'll be waiting for a while, and that

(23:17):
says a lot to a lot of women. A lot
of women do not let men show up in their true,
authentic self so that you can see who they actually
are and what they want to do. The amount of
women that are swaying a man's behavior, that are manipulating them,

(23:40):
that are baiting them, that are emotionally leading the relationship.
I always say, if you step back a little bit,
you will find out if you're in a relationship with
yourself and if you are driving the relationship or if
this person is actually there for you and an act
of participant. Women do this all the time. You were

(24:00):
the one that's initiated all the date nicely. You were
the one who booked that trip and he paid on it.
You were the one who planned to go see uh
his uncle's grave site in Orlando as y'all was driving
down to Miami. You're the one step back so you
can see if this man even in a car with you,
is anybody home, like, is anybody actually in the relationship

(24:21):
with you? And I think women lead a lot and
I think if she was to fall back, she'll see
that this man probably will not initiate the actual relationship.
Like I think she's been doing a lot of the
pushing and she's probably actually more hyper focused on the
healing and mending this gap that they had from the
breakup that he actually is. We need contacts right, looks,

(24:44):
looks what the hell happened for the breakup? Okay? Yeah,
well yeah, seriously let us know, because I you know,
I feel like she probably is the one and driving
in it seems like she likes him a little bit
more than she wants to go a baby fall back
to see if you you are, if he's actually an
active participant in a relationship. Let these men show up

(25:06):
in their authentic self, like, let them show up truly
and what they believe, how they That's I always say,
never react to what a man says to you, because
you have to truly see and the more that you
give like a stale face or a stale reaction, the
more willing they're actually able to show and tell and

(25:28):
open up to you. Never react, And I feel like
if she stepped back a little bit, she'll be able
to see him more for who he is and not
really like women have this or or just to even
like manipulate or sway or persuade them to do things
that they actually don't want to do, and it's actually

(25:48):
you leading that question. So girl, fall back a little
bit and let's see if he actually wants the relationship.
The third voicemail, why can't I let go of this dusty,
dirty ass man.

Speaker 5 (26:02):
I am a thirty nine year old female who has
been dating a thirty four year old male for the
last six years. He proposed in August of last year.
I have been through so much with this man, and

(26:22):
the entire relationship is draining everything that I have. But
for whatever reason, I cannot seem to just cut it
off cold turkey. He does not work, he does not
take me on dates. He does not do anything for
me physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually. Nothing. Why it has

(26:45):
lasted six years, I can't tell you. I know that's
my fault, but I don't know. I need help getting
out of this. I recently packed my shit and moved.
I kept the same apartment. I kind of lied and
said I was moving, and he moved out. He's back
in my house. He has no word to go. I
want him out, my house, my life, my faith. I

(27:08):
don't even want to breathe the same air he's breathing.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Help me.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
I watch and share your videos every single day, and
everything that you say is the absolute truth. But for
whatever reason, I cannot impart it in my life. I
need to put this man out. But yet I just
moved him to the next bedroom. I haven't slept with
him in over a year and a half. We barely

(27:37):
talk and communicate, but yet he is still in my face,
not paying a skin bill. I will be forty in
thirty days, and I do not want to start chapter
forty with this. I do not want to continue taking
care of somebody's dusty, dirty ass sun.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Help me.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
First of all, you ain't been watching my videos.

Speaker 5 (28:08):
Maybe I don't know who you have to see him?

Speaker 1 (28:12):
Then you ain't been watching my videos. Okay, I you know.
I appreciate the support, but some look something ain't quite
Rechester friend, because you have not been watching my videos.
Because the man is not paying no bios. He's in
the house, he ain't got no job. He going from
like she she kicked him out, then he came back.
It's just so many things going on. But let me
tell you what stood out to me about this. She said,

(28:36):
I don't know why I keep accepting this man back.
I don't know why I can't get rid of him.
I don't know why I still have him in my life.
I don't want this dusty, rusty, crusty man in my life.
I don't know why. Yes, you fucking do you do? Okay?

(28:58):
I I don't know what I've been on one in
terms of holding women accountable? Yes you do. You do
know why you keep letting this man back in your life?
And when you say, how can I? How do I?
Why can't I let go? That's a title of the voicemail.
Why can't I let go of this dusty, dirty ass man?
Because you're dusty. Let's hey, friend, hold on, look, keep

(29:24):
watching my videos, don't un follow me because you're dusty,
and you have to start holding women accountable. Okay. A
woman that is walking in her stride, that is confident,
that has worked her ass off, that has done the work,
that has been the therapy, that don't have daddy issues,
don't have abandoning issues, don't have anxious attachment style, is

(29:46):
not codependent. Okay, all you have done the work. You
don't deal with dusty people. You're dealing with a dusty,
dirty ass man because you're dusty, and let me tell
you how to brush that dirt off. Let me tell
you that us that you got to brush off friends.
There is no way that you value yourself and you
let somebody leach off of you. It's no way that

(30:08):
you value yourself. And you have a man in here
that's literally homeless, whole like couch surfing. Now he's in
another room. You do not feel great about yourself. You
have not seen yourself. Sometimes you can only meet people
as far somebody can only meet you as far as
they have actually met themselves, right, And there is a

(30:29):
lack of depth and a lack of intentionality in her
own life. So my encouragement to you is to actually
figure out why are you vibrating so low that you
will have somebody like this attached to you. There are
so many reasons. Sometimes women feel a lot of guilt

(30:49):
for turning their back on somebody. You said, this man
actually proposed to I don't know what what ring and
what money, child, but this man proposed to you in
August of last year. Sometimes women feel guilt for actually
moving on and finding somebody that's better, especially if somebody
just doesn't have a job or things like that. You
may feel like, oh, I don't want him to think

(31:11):
that I am like leaving him why he's down or
things like that. Always say the rida da phases are over.
You got to ask questions like where we're going and
why I got to die? You have been. There could
be a guilt component of this here. There could be
also just a savior complex, a people pleasing thing. This
could be down to like how you grew up, your childhood,

(31:33):
your sibling order. There are so many reasons why. But
you are dealing with this dusty man because you are dusty.
That is. That is just it. Confident women do not
do this, and it's not to shame you, right, like
we all didn't have some dusty days. But you gotta
figure out I don't know why, Yes you do. You

(31:53):
have low self esteem. You want this man in your life.
Maybe you want the companionship and let us talk about it.
You want this man to want you and need you.
A lot of times women get a high off of
a man actually needing them for things. And that's a
whole nother trope, friend, that you gotta dust off. Right,

(32:16):
Sometimes women will tolerate men in their life that are
offering them absolutely nothing, because the sense and the the
feeling and safety of being wanted. He ain't got nowhere
to go. I know he gonna need me. I know
he gonna always have loyalty to me. I know he

(32:37):
gonna he ain't got nowhere to go. That sense of
safety and security is actually what keeps women around a lot.
There are so many freaking things, so many reasons why.
But you're dusty, and that is why you're dealing with
a dusty dirted like this is almost embarrassing. And I
hope that, like at forty, I hope your fortieth birthday

(32:57):
is free and clean of him. I hope you know
that that everybody got the same hours in the day.
And I hope she knows that, like every enabling behavior,
this is not helping him at Also, if you actually
do care about him and want the best for him,
you would make this man stand on his own two feet.
Send him back, says mama. We had to call the
last episode. Send him back, says Mama. Where he gonna go?

(33:19):
I don't know, but it ain't show. It ain't show
dollar your fight. I always tell this story. Once upon
a time, someone very close to me dating a man,
and this man was living with us. Okay, this man
was living with us, and the and the person that
she was dating at the time said that he didn't
have nowhere to go. He not over to whatever. So

(33:41):
she went and slept in a car with the man
because he couldn't stay with us, no mo So the
man went and slept in the car. So she went
and slept in the car with her. Do you know
when she actually broke up with that nigga? He had
an apartment in a car in two fucking weeks. So

(34:01):
you were willing to go sleep in a car with
this man because he ain't gonna will you're gonna do,
he ain't gonna nowhere to go, and leaving him out
there like that, and you finally got enough strength to
walk your ass away, and within two weeks he had
a car and an apartment. Let thiese niggas stand on
their own two feet. If you actually stop coddling him

(34:23):
and stop letting him sleep on your couch and being
your I promise you he'll find someplace to go. If
he got to sleep under a bridge or sleep in
the carboard box, I promise you he will find somewhere
to go. Stop feeling guilty. He has to stand on
his own two feet. You got thoughts about this? While
I'm Montana concluded and pissed me off.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
I got it.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
My thing about it is she said that he left
out and then.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
He came back. You had to open the door for him. Huh.
Somebody had to open the door for him. It won't him,
It had to have been you if it was your apartment.
That's the first thing. And the second thing is I.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
Was watching one of your videos and it was a
couple of weeks ago that you had posted.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
We talked about an EmPATH.

Speaker 4 (35:06):
Uh, stop at sympathy. Sympath which we say is not
a word. Right then the last one is compassion. Yeah,
and you gotta stop at You gotta stop at mpath.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Literally you have to.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
You are at compassion.

Speaker 4 (35:18):
And maybe we need to send you that video because
it's on our page. But you need to stop at
EmPATH because there is no way that this man should
have came back in your house. You open the door
for him. He's sleeping in the separate room. Y'all haven't
had sex in a year and a half.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
What are you doing that that that that is that
lets you know that it's actually deep when you're saying
like I don't know why, Please try to find out why,
and that look, I'll know you booking link in my bio. Okay,
if you want to know more about you, gotta take you,
gotta wipe off the dust. You gotta figure out why
you feel so responsible for him, whether it's guilt there,

(35:55):
whether it's like you know, the relationship that you have
with him, maybe you just feel like you don't want
to leave him out there. I don't know what it is,
but I can tell you this that this person that
she is with him shows up and all the other
avenues of her life. It shows up while she's at work,
It shows up with her as a child to her parents,
It shows up in her friendships, it shows up in
her sibling relationships. She's this person all the time. Don't

(36:19):
know how to set boundaries, letting people walk over her,
want to be in people's good graces, letting people guilt
trip out of her, shit that she don't want to do.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
I think maybe we need to know what his life is,
if he's been through some hard things in life, or
he's going through some traumatic things or something, and she
just feels like she wants to be there for him,
because I feel like a lot of my female friends
are in that same situation every time I talk to
my friends, why are you talking to him? Oh well,
his grandma just died. Oh well, he just lost his job.
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear to.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Start being more. I'm sorry to hear that. The obsession
with why with these men is crazy. The amount of
women that they want to know why he cheated? Why
would he lie?

Speaker 2 (37:02):
Why?

Speaker 1 (37:02):
It ain't got nothing to do with you. Don't obsessed
up with a why. And this Nigga Sabas story of
his life and why he truth, Well, he ain't got
a mom in his life. His mama dropped him off
at his grandmama house and she ain't come back. And
then the daddy never he never met the dad, blah
blah blah. Why Like why is good for data on
the back end. Why shouldn't be an evaluation as to
why you in the shit? Like I'm almost like, take

(37:24):
that data and think about that after you're gone, and
you can be like, oh, well, that's probably why this
person showed up. We are so obsessed with the why,
we have to start letting that go I don't I
don't care what happened to the boy. You know, that's
not enough for you to not show up and fulfill
your own social duties like being able to provide for yourself.

(37:45):
She faked moving, She faked moving, he left, she stayed,
and now he's back.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
She wanted a roommate.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
She got to find out what's like, what's the root,
the true root of everything that's going on? And she
has to be able to meet the deepest part of herself,
like seriously, like the gig is up. You have to
be willing to look dead in the mirror and tell
the card god honest truth about what is actually going
on with you and why you are accepting this into

(38:22):
your life. And oh, and what does that person represent?
Sometimes the people that we date represent avoid, it represents
a wound that we have. It represents like people are like, oh,
a man is always looking for his mother and his partner,
or a woman is always looking for her father and
the person that she dates, like you have to also

(38:44):
figure out what is that person representing in your life?
What wound or trigger is that is he attached to,
Which is why you can't disassociate yourself from it that
man represents something else. Maybe she had been failed in
life and she wished people would support her the way
that she supporting this nigga. Maybe she has been disappointed

(39:06):
by her caretakers right, and she wanted people to show
up in her life, and so now she don't know
how to give up on people. Maybe people gave up
on her a whole lot, and she doesn't know how.
That man is a analogy of something, some wound or
dark place in your life, and you gotta figure out

(39:26):
it out so you could let that shit go.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Baby, Would she say her birthday was thirty days send
me in to see your address, and we're gonna pull
up and help him get his ship up out of there.
When he go to get the mail or the grocery store,
and whenever he leaves to do whatever he does, give
us the address.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
We're gonna put his shit outside the door.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
But you know what, like she a little bit more
than that, because I just don't feel But if she
do the work with that at the same time and
do the boundary pack and stuff of leaving alone, literally
cut that phone off. We ain't heard nothing about a kid.
That means you free. You ain't got no, no attachment
to him. He's homeless and he needs to help. You

(40:09):
cannot give a fish to a man that's not a fisherman.
If you give a fish to a man that is
not a fisherman, when the fish is gone, he's going
to come back and ask you for another fucking fish.
If you give a fish to a man that has
a business plan, that has determination, that has the qualities,

(40:30):
he's going to learn how to fish and take the
fish and say, Wow, thanks for feeding me when I
was hungry. Here's one hundred more fucking fish for our family.
But if he's not a fisherman, okay, he's gonna come
back and ask you for another fish when it's gone,
period period. Okay, and you baby, he didn asks for

(40:52):
a million fish. At this point, it's okay to help
somebody while they're down. It's okay to if you see
vision and inspiration and you see how this man. Some
of these women out here that helped the man when
they didn't have a job, helped them and when they
got one. A bitch ain't seen the dollar, She ain't
seen the date nights, she ain't seen a role, She
ain't seying a back pay on rent, she haven't seen anything.

(41:15):
The man was never a fisherman. He ate the fish
and went on about his life. Make sure you are
sowing into and giving a fish to a man that's
a fisherman. He will always have a plentiful supply for
you and whatever else to come. He ate the fishing,
went on about his business. Not here on your couch,
shall anyways? Cut that off. I hope your fortieth birthday

(41:36):
is plentiful. I hope that you clear yourself of that.
I hope you don't go into that. You've done enough.
You've done enough for that man, and the best thing
that you can do is have boundaries and hold him
accountable so he learns what life needs from him as
an adult man. God bless him anyways. All right, bit

(41:58):
you smell good, segm man. Okay, this fragrance Courtney has
it over. There is dres van Noting. You know, dreams
Van Noting is actually like a fashion house, like they
have clothes and stuff like that. But this is their fragrance.
It's dreas van Noting is soy malaque okay by Drees
van Noting. You know, I'm starting to see I'm starting

(42:19):
to see a try in my own and my own
fragrances Burgamont were back.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
On Bergamonte, bergamonte.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Black currant rolls, silk, chestnut, cocoa and cacao. I love
cocoa and cacao. I think are liquid imaginaires. It was
a black albatet. I think it had a cacao or
cocoa in it. It was just so good. So anyway,
this got a hefty little den in here to y'all,

(42:46):
this is drees Van notton soy malaqua. It is too good,
too good, too good, and it's all so. I think
this is more a little bit more lady like.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
Though. Let me take this cap off.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
I think this is a little bit.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
More love a masculine scent though that bergamonte.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
You do you love a masculine scent? I do? I
like you?

Speaker 1 (43:11):
What do you think? It's the bergamonte for me? And
the bergamonte is actually a top notes that's technically what
you smell out the gate. But the chestnut and the
cacao are the deepest notes, y'all. This is so good.
They actually have one in a purple bottle that I'm
hoping to get soon. But this grown spicy. It's deep

(43:34):
it's rich. You know, it's good, y'all. I love it.
Like I said that, it's we already halfway baby, were
already halfway down as a bottle. Okay, I'm telling you look,
if I put I'm putting dents in these bottles. These
are some of my favorite fragrances that I'm present to y'all. Corney,
what's your thing? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I like this one. I like this one. It smells good.
I'm kind of feeling the masculine sense a little bit.
I don't know what it is. It's like girly with it.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
I have changed all of my friend's minds about masculine sins.
Let me tell you this. They have said my friends, like,
you know, this was like my palat ain't that mature?
Next you know, they they're walking around with the big
dog shout out. I'm telling you I have changed my
friend's perspective when people be like this is how I
got to the actual uh bitch, you smell good? Because
everybody's like, girl, you smell good. What's that you got on?

(44:24):
It's because y'all wearing that floory fruital shit, fruity shit,
and that's why nobody smells y'all. Okay, seriously, y'all wearing
all these life of yeah girly shit, and that's when
people smell me, baby, people smell me when I step,
they'd be like, ooh, I'm like, I know exactly. You
gotta get you, so gotta start leaning into them deeper
richer notes that hold and actually project, and that is

(44:46):
vanilla burg of myte pink pepper. Could all of these
no black currant, okay, ginger, get off that girly shit.
I'm trying to tell you, okay, I'm trying to tell
you what that shit at night, you know, when you
got your little neglige lingerie child. But when you step,
if you want people to smell you, the men. The
men do it better. And I think this is you

(45:07):
on the says, but I person think it's more of
a feminine, feminine fragrance. But anyways, I'm smelling good. We're
smelling good. Courty smelling good. Okay, Dries van Noden a
soy malaqua get it by now anyways? Good red flag report,
too much love or just her love language. If Destiny'

(45:30):
shalls cater to you were a person, it might be
Keisha Kay or Davis, The entrepreneur and wife of rapper
Gucci Maine, recently went viral after an interview with Carlos
King where she opened up about the way she cares
for her husband, and let's just say, the internet had opinions.
Keisher didn't hold back, saying she used to. She used

(45:53):
to bathe Gucci when he came home from prison, and
while she doesn't do that anymore, she still cooks for him,
buys some clothes, handle the bills, and manages just about
everything else because she wants to. I enjoy taking care
of him, she said. If I don't do it, I
would be miserable. She also called herself submissive but firm,
someone who takes care of her man while still calling

(46:15):
him out when needed, and according to her, she's the
only woman who could have held Gucci down the way
that she has. The couple has been married since twenty
seventeen and share two children together, and many people online
praise their bond, but others question whether Keisha's level of
service felt more like self sacrifice than love, especially when

(46:37):
she said Gucci doesn't have to do anything else. Let
me say this, I don't think that people actually know
this about this is why I'm glad I get to
have long form content because I don't think that people
actually know this about me, because y'all see all the
click clacking, and then you know the yelling to help
the women you know, and being say out of ribe business.

(47:00):
But I am so traditional. I am so traditional. I
do not want my man in the kitchen. I don't
want him to. I know people like, oh, well, men,
you know you want a man to at least know
how to cook for himself. And that's not a woman's job, y'all.
I really think it is. And everybody to each on

(47:24):
to each his own. I am keisha ky or like
I am a traditional woman, y'all. I put my man's
two paste on his tooth brush. I know the boxers
that he wear, I know what he wants on his sandwich.
I know who his barber is. I'm coming and I'm
paying for his haircut. I am that girl, like I'm

(47:49):
that kind of girl. I am a traditional, traditional woman, y'all,
don't think I'm crazy. Once upon a song, I was
ating this man, and he will I would be home.
I will cook for him while he was home, and
he would come home, and I will always meet him
at the door and take his shoes off, and my

(48:10):
friends would sometimes they would be present. They were floored.
They were they was like, bitch, what in the fucking
slavery Harriet Tubman, shit is going on? They literally thought.
I was like Molly the Maid. I will take my
man's shoes off his feet after a hard dale work,
I will cook for him. I don't want him in

(48:30):
the kitchen. I don't want him washing dishes. I don't
want him. And I think that, like we have seen
a lack of this now to the point where women
are kind of like, why are you doing all of that?
Why are you doing all of that? I think that
everybody should have a dynamic that they want to have.
If a man can cook, great. I don't want my

(48:50):
man in the kitchen. Some women think that's sexy. I don't.
I don't. Some women think that that's like wow, like
you know, I you cook, I cook? You cook? Less
tag team this some things. I don't want a tag team.
That's just me personally. I don't want my men to cook.
I don't want him in the kitchen. I wasn't raised

(49:11):
like that. All of my family is from Mississippi. I'll
never forget. I was in college and I brought my
college sweetheart home and he had been there several times.
Several times he had been there, and we had a
little cookout and my grandma said, do you you know
he's in there cooking making his plate. I said, yeah,
he ain't. No guess she said, you don't get your

(49:32):
ass up and go in there and make that man's plate.
I was not raised like that. I'm extremely traditional, and
I think that people women have not been have seen
enough servitude in life. I think that us as millennials,

(49:53):
we've seen a lot of women struggle, and like I said,
they told us, don't get pregnant, and don't stay in school,
and don't get pregnant. Like that was what are older
you know, our moms and grandparents you know, taught us.
But we haven't seen like women in their soft, soft
soft era. But what we are starting to see, which
I think is a different dynamic, is women that are

(50:16):
living their soft life, but they are with these very
rich men. You've seen a lot of black women that
are dating a lot of rich white men, and they're like,
soft life. My man has resources, my men doesn't. We
don't cook, we have a nanny, we have them, and
that's just not my idea of what a soft a

(50:39):
soft life is. Like I am, I am, like I
am Keisha k Or where she said she used to
bathe him, but I used to take my nigga's shoes
off his feet like you we good like you just
just just really you know, kind of exists. But it's
only certain kind of men that yield that type of
behavior from me. There are men that dated me that

(51:02):
would be like she was doing what for you? I
ain't never seen you, wasn't him. You presented an environment
from me where I wanted to be the peak version
of myself. So now when I'm not attracted to men
in that way, when I don't get that type of
feeling from men, it is my social obligation to bow
out of that because when I am the better version

(51:24):
of myself that I do want to take my man's
shoes off his feet, I do want to put his
two brush on, I do want to run his bath.
That you have presented an environment to me where that's
my peak self and I want you to experience that
I would be cheating you otherwise. And sometimes women just
have to bow out, Like sometimes if I'm like, bab,
you could never get me to do what I know
that I can do well, I know that I'm capable of,

(51:46):
and I know what my heart desires to do. I
could never I'm not gonna get there with you because
you're just not him. You're not making me feel that way.
And I have had to have those conversations like I
don't think I see alignment here. I don't think I
have and this I realized this because I just had
to break up with one of my boyfriends. But we
were my landa boyfriend. I just had to break up

(52:08):
with him. And I went on two dates in Atlanta.
One date put his knack in in his plate any
shared side. I put that food on his plate. I
cut his steak up. I made sure that he had
the water, even when he had like a what you
call it a shell allergy to fish. I asked him,

(52:31):
like I asked the waitress, are y'all cooking this on
the same plate? Like, don't have my man have no
fucking allergic reaction? Then I went on another date and
I did not I don't even want I want the
best for you, and I'm not in like I don't
even want you to experience me in that way, because
you're not getting my best self. We're not getting my peak.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
Cell.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
And the man that I was putting his knap in
his plate and I wanted to make sure that he
was good and I was sharing his side, I was
and I was feeding him my beef short red up
from my spoon. That is who I want you to experience.
And so I am Keisha k Or. I think we
need more women like this in this world. And I'm sorry,
bring back the you know. I don't like to too
much new shit, Okay, I don't like these new dynamics.

(53:14):
I don't like the new scale of things that we have.
I don't like I almost s asd something, y'lad. I
don't think we're gonna and that's ready for that. I
think some things need to go back to the way
that it was. Okay. It's a lot of fluid things,
a lot of wiggle room and gray areas, and some
things are just you know, black and white. And I
think we need to bring back bring back the traditional women.

(53:34):
Because I am Keisha. He Keisha, Hey, I'm win when
you're right. Also, Keisha is a Jamaican woman. Let's not
forget them. Caribbean women, they're not fucking around. They are
They are caretakers, they are homemakers. Okay, that's just it.
Keisha can cook her ass off, and she is a

(53:57):
Caribbean woman, So that that says a lot. That says
a lot as well. And I think that women just
haven't experienced, like what it's like for a man to
put you in that kind of subservient, submissive place. I
don't want my man in kitchen. I pray that he
never has to get in the air as long as
you could cook food for these kids in my absence

(54:18):
of not just order something, but like, that is what
I want my role to be. And you know what
I found interested, She said, If I don't do it,
I would be miserable as I am dating. I have
always found it difficult to date in DC because these
men are so fucking self sufficient. They're like, we ain't
gotta you ain't gotta cook for me. We can go

(54:38):
to the steakhouse. You ain't gotta. You know, I already
send my clothes to the cleaners. You don't have to
iron for me. You don't have to. I'm like, I
don't like what am I supposed to do? I don't
like this. Everybody, these government niggas that came right out
of Howard and came out of GW and George Mason
making seventy eighty K at twenty something by the time
I meet him at thirty something day two hundred and

(54:59):
fifty k.

Speaker 5 (55:00):
They not.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
They are convenience people. They've already lived a life where
they have enough money to have convenience. And I saw,
I'm like, maybe I got to go to the South
and find me an overall wearing, tractor driving, fishing ass
men that just won't suffer on a table and look,
a good meal and a beer. That's about what I
need to get at this point, because it's like, where
are the men that actually value traditional women like I

(55:25):
am Keisha k Or I get it, I get it,
bring them back.

Speaker 4 (55:30):
I think that a lot of it has to do
with how you're raised, though, you know, like as a woman,
a lot of that has to do with how you're raised.
If I come from military background, So for me coming
from a military background of having two parents that were
in the army, my mom was, you know, making sure
same thing with my father, making sure the food was
on the table, making sure his taxes were done, making sure,

(55:50):
you know, his appointments were made, making sure like the
car was taking care of and the kids and everything.
So it's like it's about how you're raised and how
you bring that into.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
Your adult life.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Right, So you could look at it and say, I
don't want to be like my mom, or you could
say I want to be just like her. Fortunately for me,
I'm the same exact way. I'm a mom and I
love taking care of my son, and I also want
to take care of, you know, my partner as well,
So that goes into play. I one hundred percent agree
with Keisha ki or for the right man, yeah, the
right man, Yes, one hundred percent do it for the

(56:20):
right person. You can't do it for everybody, You're gonna
get your feelings hurt. But for the right one, you
can do it for him.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Also, I think what people are missing, and it's so
interesting because like I just always got my ear to
the ground, which is popular culture and you know, all
this internet shit. I watch reality TV, I watch all
the you know, trash shows and all that type of stuff.
I've followed their story. They would call each other in

(56:47):
jail and work out together. Do you remember that while
people are like, oh, well, you doing all of this?
They actually built like a bond, and I'm talking about substantially,
like to the core, a great relationship and friendship, and
they held each up. They were having like a true

(57:08):
real relationship. And while this man was in jail, they
would call on video and they would do push ups
and work out together and they would ask like what
so I mean, I feel like it's it's warranted, like
they have a great foundation. And y'all ain't Keisha k
or Okay, so no, don't hold pooky all right, nobody's
telling you. It's a whole pooky right right down, Okay.

(57:30):
But like I think that there is just a lot
of meat to this relationship. And let me lastly say,
is that you ain't saying that nigga And no scandal
what they said about Gucci nothing, that man at home,
that man at home eating that oxtel, that Keisha cooking.
He has not been in any scandal. He has not

(57:52):
been out here okay, messing around and nobody talking about something.
I'm with him. I'm this. I'm that he loves her down.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
That's why she does what she does.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Yeah, yeah, And I think he had built that presence
even before you know, even before that. Okay, So is
it empowering or problematic to say I do everything for
my man and I like it. I think it's empowering.
I think it's really empowering, and again that she likes it.
I think that people again like have to let people

(58:24):
do what works best for them. There are thriving marriages
where it's like, Babe, i'm ana cook this day, you
will cook this day. I'm a you a grown man,
you should know how to cook. There are marriages that
thrive in that, Like I want my man to be
able to wash dishes. This is not a dictatorship. This
is not you know, I want him to be able
to wash dishes if I'm away, if I'm not, Like,

(58:47):
you should be able to, you know, sustain yourself. And
then you have these women that's like you know, they'll
say like, oh, you handle pregnancy so well, and then
they'll cut to their husband. Yeah, this is my husband.
The husband got them kids. They wrangling them kids, He
cooking and cleaning, He supported her while he was he
was with that damn birth doulah, helping her push out
that baby in that pool of water, Like you know

(59:07):
what I'm saying, like, yeah, I'm handling life well because
this is my husband, and I think that like it.
It's different for every woman, but like I think I
have an idea of what I would want my partner
to be and I pray. I'm so tired he's self sufficient.
It's I'm so tired of it, Like it is just
a bore of my life. It's I do any of

(59:28):
y'all care about this stuff? Something wrong, something in the water.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
You know.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
I rarely find a man that's just like I would
love for my wife to cook for me. I'm meeting
a lot of If she she doesn't have to. If
she does, she does, and I'm like, that's my light.
That's my best life. Like just serve it too, Like
that's the best. That's where I that's prime time for me.
I like I said, like she said, I would be
miserable if I had a husband that was like, you

(59:57):
ain't gotta We'll just hire a.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
M m hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
There's a man out there right now that's like I
want a woman to do exactly what.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
You would do.

Speaker 4 (01:00:08):
Please come find he's doing a podcast on the West
Coast talking about like that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
But I will preface what I also don't want it
to come with like control and misogyny and sexism and
all of this other abuse and random ship. It's just like,
you know, I think a part of partnership is letting
your partner do what they do well. I don't want
a man that's trying to dmn that part of me,
because that is literally the best part of me. That

(01:00:39):
is that is just my my light, you know. And
I've always said that the things that you, the best
parts of you, you will always struggle with on this earth.
So when people are like, do you feel sad about
not having a children?

Speaker 5 (01:00:54):
Yet?

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Do you feel sad about not being married? I said, y'all,
that is going to be the best chapter in my life.
And I am not surprised that that is what I
had to wait for. The best parts of you you
will struggle on physical earth with period you ever seen
like the Michael Jackson's The Prince though, like all of
this just to get their gift out and to create

(01:01:17):
music like they had so much strife because that was
the best and most special part of them. So I'm
literally not ever surprised that I'm not married and that
I don't have children, because I know that that chapter
is literally like the Golden Star and God is like,
hold on, friend, wait a minute, wait a little bit.

(01:01:38):
I just want that Chap gonna be real good, real
real good friend, real good.

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
So if you are looking for a woman that's about
her business, okay, so you know, got her career going, strong,
bold confidence. She is on the East Coast, she is
out here in the DMV.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
She is waiting for you. Take care of you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Traditional. Now bills have to be paid. I need to
hope you know that you will pay the bills.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
And she don't do fifty to fifty.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
I don't do fifty to fifty and I I maybe
maybe eighty twenty. Yeah, so that's no. No, I want
to confuse nobody. I want to false advertise. Okay, there's
not on bills. The bills is on you, baby, The
bills is on you. And I just feel like he's
gonna want to do that. So I know, even gonna discussion.
I've never I've never talked to a man about how

(01:02:29):
bills would be split. I think he's just gonna want
to do that. He's gonna wanna provide, he's gonna wanna
pay the bills, you know, and when people say, well,
he brings the table, just know I'm able and willing.
I'm able and willing. I am able and willing. Just
know that if you need me, I got you. You
need me to tap in, I got you. You know
I am able and I'm willing. When they're like, well,
what do you bring to the table? The ability to

(01:02:53):
discern what needs to be on the fucking table? That
is what I bring. That's what my boughs are, my
womanly duties. I'm able to tell your as well. Beneath
fucking apple juice or orange juice, will look to cook
them eggs, fucking last. Okay, I have the ability to
tell you what needs to be at the table, and
that is what I bring. Okay, period, I don't need

(01:03:13):
to look. Paying bills is not my currency, it's not
my That's not how I pay my way through life.
I paid my way through life through my feminine aura
and being able to discern what is actually needed on
the table. Do we china? Do we need silverware? Do
we need cutlery? Do we need water? I know what
belongs on the table.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
That is what wants you to pay fifty to fifty.
He never find you, may he.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Never ever met him, and I said

Speaker 3 (01:03:45):
I never I never met him, So anyhow, I think
that's I think that's that wrapping up St.