April 10, 2025 • 47 mins
Debi welcomes Robin Johnson of Robin Learning Systems to discuss building resilience. They explore the definition and importance of resilience in life's challenges. Robin shares actionable strategies to strengthen this vital skill, comparing it to developing a muscle with effort. Discover insights on navigating difficulties, bouncing back from setbacks, and emerging stronger. Learn valuable perspectives on cultivating a resilient mindset for personal growth and enhanced wellbeing.
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Debi Changes Lives is broadcast live Thursdays at 6PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Debi Changes Lives TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Debi Changes Lives Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome to my radio and TV show, Debbie Changes Lives.
I'm Debbie, you cerifi Hell. As the cause coach, I
finalize people's lives by helping to identify the recause without
health and mindset issues and create a custom natural, holistic
strategy address them in the areas of mind, body, and soul.
As a health coach, I'm not a last say that
I heal three here, prevent or diagnose any diseases. I
(01:12):
could certainly make your body more efficient by reducing symptoms,
You'll feel better, be more reductive, and enjoy life more.
Not many people have released seventy pounds, had a health transformation,
and kept fit and trim for over a decade. I
have and I have staying power and it's been over
eleven years. I even became a half marathon runner at
the age of fifty one, when I never ran from childhood,
(01:35):
AHOO did a food pain and I have done eight
half marathons. Mindset is a key to lasting change. As
a certify Holissic health coach, I do revialize people's lives
in many different areas of health and mindset. I guide
them to clean ToxS of refuse and high quality essential nutrients.
My coaching is for optimizing your health, releasing weight efficiently
(01:57):
if needed, and enhancing your mindset. With my mindset coaching,
I help my clients recognize that their thoughts, feelings, and
emotions drive their actions and results. Sometimes that's good and
sometimes that gets bad. So it's really crucial for you
to have a positive mindset to succeed in life. It's
also imperative that you manage your emotions and release those
(02:18):
low vibrational emotions such as fear, frustration, and doubt, because
I want to slow you down and get you stuck physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually. Lock on a hot air balloon with ballasis.
I help my clients release those emotional ballasies and bagshas
so they can uplift to a better healthier life and
turning their releasing their stress and reshaping their core beliefs.
(02:41):
You will see and feel the differences of my coaching programs.
Separate a consultation and ask me more about them at
my link tree at Debbie Changes Lives d E B
I C H A N T E S l I
VAS and victory ees dot com or slash link tree
l I n k are EE and I'll guide you
(03:02):
to that better, happier, healthier life.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Now.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
People have told me that I have grip and I've
build resilience throughout my life and has been so beneficial
for me today, I am thrilled to have Robin Johnson,
the founder of Robin Learning Systems. She is a well
being advisor, a fraud prevention expert, and a zuzuki violinist teacher.
(03:29):
How fun is that she blends her unique experience and
insight and everything she does, whether she is guiding someone
to find their signature strength or helping companies to create
an environment where they're going to stay. She holds an
MBA and organizational Behavior with BYU and a master's with
(03:51):
Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Philadelphia, where she
studied under Martin Ziegler, who is the founder of Positive Psychology.
She's also a number one international author where her book
hit number one in twenty nine categories in thirteen countries.
(04:15):
She's also a sought after speaker, and she co authored
this book Enabling Business for Success. Today, Robin is going
to be sharing with us how to build resilience. It's
like building a muscle. With a little bit of effort
and intention, it could be done. And so we're going
(04:36):
to welcome Robin Johnson, the founder of Robin's Learning Systems,
to my show. So is Robin there? I sure, I am, hello,
Welcome to my show.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Thank you so much. It is really really a delight
to be here. And I will say that we met
and you were a guest on a podcast that I
co host, and you are such a delightful guest talking
about all the changes that you've done and inspiring women.
(05:09):
The co host I am. The podcast I co host
is Women Investing in Women, and you're a fabulous guest there,
and was so kind of you to invite me to
be on your show, Debbie changes lives, because you absolutely
do change lives. And it's really a privilege for me
to be here with you.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Thank you really, Yeah, that's so wonderful what you just said.
I appreciate it. And so, you know, I know what
resilience is. Maybe some people don't. So what is resilience.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Well, in the studies that I've done at the University
of Pennsylvania and also with my MBA and an emphasis
and organizational behavior from Brigham Young University, resilience is the
ability to bounce back from challenges, to navigate through adversity,
to overcome obstacles, and this is very important to reach
(06:04):
out and to grow. We often think of these first
three components, bouncing back and navigating through overcoming those are
reactive in nature. We're reacting to something, which is extremely important.
But another component is being able to find growth through
that adversity, through that challenge, through those obstacles, and being
(06:28):
able to reach out and grow because of that. And
we've heard a lot about post traumatic syndrome, which is
very real and very important to be addressed, but there's
also a phenomenon called post traumatic growth where we can
grow from our challenges.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yes, and it's really important because sometimes our challenges I
don't like to call the failures. I just call them
something to work on and grow upon, because you can
always find something that did quite work out and improve
upon it and get to where you need to go.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah. Absolutely, it's interesting. I've heard from different people that
the symbol in some might be in Chinese or some
language like that, that the symbol for challenge is the
same as a symbol for opportunity or something like that.
But basically, as you just said, we look at challenges
(07:25):
as opportunities, and it's very true that we get knocked down.
Sometimes we get bucked off the horse and acknowledging, hey
I just got bucked off a horse. You kind of
lick our wounds for a minute, then catch your breath,
dust yourself off, and then and then have the skills
to then keep going.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, as you said that, I had, I broke my
foot a few years ago and I actually healed very
quickly from it, so I'm really happy about that. But
I did have some mussilos, so I had amblysis, and
unfortunately I felt a few times and injured myself and
I felt like I was doing the chacha and I
just laughed it off. So it's really when something happens
to you just left to laugh it off because what
(08:04):
it does that changes your feeling about what you should
happen when you fell. Yeah, don't you agree?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yeah, there are many There are many situations where you
can look back and find the humor in it. And
sometimes it takes a while to find a humor in it.
Of course, there's some situations where there isn't any humor
to be found. You just solemnly acknowledge what happened and
move on. But in many instances, having a sense of
humor definitely aids in our resilience. It, you know, aids
(08:34):
in our ability to overcome, navigate and work through, navigate through,
and so having it having some humor is definitely definitely helpful.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yeah, it isn't my case. So why is having resilience matter?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Resilience is extremely important because people with resilience are more
successful in every category of life. They get better grades,
they have better relationships, they earn more many they have
more opportunities. And the other thing that's really important is
that the skills of resilience that are learnable skills help
(09:14):
us undo the ongoing negative consequences that come that stem
from our childhood. And it doesn't matter how great of
a childhood you had had. Everyone has challenges from childhood.
There's no there are no parents who are perfect. Every
parent made mistakes, and as children we absorb those mistakes
(09:36):
and carry them into our future. Having a sense of
resilience and learning the skills of resilience can help us overcome,
discover and overcome some of those challenges. And some of
those challenges we already know what they are. Others remain
hidden to us, and so being able to develop our resilience,
(09:56):
it gives us the emotional strength over to uncover some
of those things and the emotional strength to then overcome them.
We have to discover them and then overcome them. So
it's it's very important.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah, exactly. Now, some people are very good with their
grades and what's coming to their lives, and they need
to pay more attention to it and treasure that and
realize that that's something really a positive thing in life.
Do you ever have people that don't recognize that, as with.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Jillians, Well, I see there's two things coming to my head.
One thing is called imposter syndrome, which is very very real,
and it's where we just don't believe that we are
as good as we are. And this can happen to anyone,
and there are definitely some strategies and skills you can
learn to overcome that. But one of my favorite examples
(10:53):
is Karen Rivitch. Doctor Karen Ravitch. She teaches at the
University of Pennsylvania. She helped developed the pen Resilience program,
which is one of the most vetted programs and most
popular programs in the world, and she helped invent this.
She and she did in class. She shared that one
(11:13):
time she was flying out from Philadeladelphia out down out
to San Francisco to meet with some military leaders because
the army had adopted had adopted this resilience program to
help their soldiers. She's flying in getting ready to land,
and she starts thinking, oh my gosh, what if I
(11:34):
forget what I'm gonna say? Am I even any good
at this?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You know? But they don't believe me, you know?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And this is the person who invented it. Okay, suddenly
struck with this imposter syndrome. Is she's in the air
getting ready to land. Well, fortunately she remembered her training
and so her training kicked in. Okay, you know that's
not true, because you know, I am the one who
(12:02):
invented this, and if I forget something thing, I can
just look in my notes. You know, all these strategies
that we learn, you know, in school, which we then
you know, apply and which I will can teach people.
But that's my favorite example is here is a person
who invented it, and she is having imposter syndrome. So
(12:22):
there's imposter syndrome where we don't believe that we are
as good as we are. And then the other thing
is is having a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
And oftentimes children who are really good, they have a
good set of skills, maybe they're raising a family where
(12:43):
they were able to develop a lot of things. If
they are told, oh, you're really smart, so you can
do that, you can do this because you're just really smart,
You're just naturally good at this. Well there are times
when yeah, you are naturally good. But on the other hand,
there are times when you had hard and you had
practiced and you had tried, you'd worked out you know,
(13:04):
whatever this this skill might be. And when children are
told you know, you're just really smart, well you don't
really have a lot of control over how smart you are,
and that can actually backfire and cause them to not try.
Because if I'm supposed to just be naturally good and
(13:24):
then I try it something and I'm not just naturally
good at it, then that means I've failed, and so
I'm just not going to try. And so what we
want to do is focus on things that children have
control over. Well, you, wow, you got a really good grade.
You must have studied really hard, or you must have
(13:45):
paid attention to the teacher, or maybe you went to
those extra workshops. So that is something that you have
control over. And so it makes me think of right
after I had just been doing some reading and learning
on this and giving credit where credit is due, when
my daughter and son in law then had my first
(14:07):
grand their first child, my granddaughter, they said, this book
Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck. This is required reading, and
so if you want to interact with your granddaughter, you
need to read this and adopt different vocabulary, which I did, okay,
And so anyway, just just having that having that vocabulary,
(14:31):
and I realized I went off on this tangent of
this story about my granddaughter and real life kind of
forgot where I was going with this, but the notion that, oh, yeah,
I can remember it.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Now, I've just been reading it.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
And so my our other daughters were home, you know,
then they were they they've all learned violin and piano
and multiple instruments and and that, and they were performing.
And someone said to me, oh, it's so lucky that
your children are so talented, and I yes, luck and
thousands of hours of practicing and thousands of dollars in
(15:05):
music lessons exactly, and yes they are really good.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yes, and some do have natural talents, but they still
need to grow and work on those talents and get
some expert advice from people exactly, exactly. Yeah, and it's
interesting that, you know, the first example she actually saw
her doubt, recognized it and as they said, okay, what
do I do now, and released it. I'm sure she
(15:32):
got through her presentation and with the exciting example of
children that's backloss reading a book. But my whole point is,
you know, these kids these days, because of what they've
been through recently with the pandemic, they don't have the
bunk nanity, so to speak, and I mean both spunk
(15:56):
and spondinity. So world is so much differ than it
was when we were growing up, and they're letting that,
you know, pull them down. And it's really important to
not pay attention to what's going in the external world
and pay attention to what you're doing and how you're
reacting to it. Like you said at the beginning, being proactive,
and that's what I have my clients do too.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you know, and I think that I
realized that we have a tendency to put different generations
into stereotypical boxes. And so I'm wondering if some of
this notion of well they don't have as much resilience
or sticktuitiveness. I personally have not not experienced that in
(16:44):
my interactions, but I wonder is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That I make resilience. It's just they are they have
doubt about the I mean, I know, as somebody as
graduating soon and she doesn't even know what she's going
to do because of what's going on right now. So
that's the whole point. They're just wondering what the world is,
what's going on in the world. In the set of
wondering what's going on in the world, just move forward
(17:07):
and find that.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Job you get My point. Yes, yes, that is very true.
I was going to say that because of their experiences,
they're approaching life differently. You know, for example, when COVID
hit and lots of people are dying, lots of people
are getting sick, people are being laid off, people are
being furloughed, people are working online. It really it shifted
(17:33):
people's priorities and shifted people's perspectives. And so maybe these
young people are going to be different than say someone,
say my older sister who just turned eighty, and you
grew up like more in the industrial age, where you
work with one company for fifty years and then you retire.
You know, their their life experiences are different.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yes, right.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I do believe that not just this generation, but any
generation can function more effectively in their mindset, in their
belief system, and in their ability to move forward and
like you said, to be proactive and having the strength
to do that, they having the skills to do that.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, exactly, And they may go from job to job
and maybe a lot more variety and more interesting too.
I mean that's the way you can look at it, right.
So you know, I've seen one of your presentations and
you talk about creating an edge of the pool. You
explained to the audience what that is all about.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Yeah, that is one of my favorite concepts to teach,
and within the broad field of resilience. So one of
my favorite slices of the pie is what it's called
the fast skill. Real time resilience. Is called real time
resilience because you can keep it in your hip pocket
and whip it out anytime you need it.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
And within that skill, there's different strategies and different what
are called sentence starters. And I use the analogy that
these sentence starters and these strategies are like the edge
of a swimming pool. And when I was watching my
(19:20):
children learn how to swim, and then also as I
watch my granddaughters learn how to swim, the instructor will
have them jump in, then turn around, and then kind
of paddle to the edge and grab onto the edge,
jump in, turn around, grab the edge, jump in, turn around,
grab the edge, and they jump out a little bit further,
then turn around, paddle over, grab the edge. Well, they
(19:42):
do that over and over and over again in multiple lessons,
and one time the instructor explained the reason why they
do this is so when the children are off on
their own and they're at a swim party, or they're
at a public school, a public pool, and they get
kind of joss older maybe to get pushed and they
fall into the pool. And instead of just kind of
(20:04):
flailing around and drowning that they will instinctively when they
hit the water, instinctively, they'll they'll reach over and they'll
try to they'll go toward finding the edge of the pool.
And so I use that analogy that we can create.
I used to call it find I now call it
create our mental edge of the pool. So when we
(20:29):
got we get knocked off balance. Maybe we're sitting in
a marriage therapy session and something has said then we're
knocked out balanced, or maybe we're at work and someone
says something that knocks us out balanced, or our child
says something that knocks us out balance, and we're just
kind of in our heads and in our hearts, you're
just kind of you know, flailing that that these sentence
(20:52):
starters and these strategies and another strategy called you know, calming,
calming and calming strategies that they can help us grab
onto a mental edge of the pool and instead of
just flailing around and being in this emotional distress or discomfort,
(21:13):
that we can turn ourselves around more quickly. And so
that's what I call it creating. We create a mental
edge of the pool. And what I discovered is that
the more I was able to create these mental edges
of the pool, I noticed the interesting interesting phenomenon is
I could kind of detect, oh, you know, it kind
(21:36):
of feels like I just about might be going to
be pushed into the pool. And I could get anticipating
being in situations where someone might try to push me
into the pool, and then I could anticipate that kind
of steel myself, you know, get my nerves strengthened, your anxiety. Yeah,
(21:59):
and so when I did get pushed into the pool,
I wasn't flatling around. I could kind of anticipate it,
have a response, and move on like that. And so
I just thought that was such an interesting phenomenon which
I didn't expect at all. But I could kind of
tell in social situations where I might you know, could
anticipate where I might get thrown off, and then I
(22:22):
wouldn't get thrown off. Instead, i'd be prepared.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah. Sometimes when you scan m I'm pathic. So sometimes
we scan the room I feel the energy or I feel, oh,
this is not my crown, and so pretty much, you know,
you don't want to feel nervous and anxious. So you
just wanted to take a deep breath and say what
can I do in this situation? And obviously, I just
(22:48):
because of when people call my grit, it's just my courage.
I have no fear. I just like, Hi, I'm Debbie,
and I that's what they do.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I just what do you do?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
And I just listen to them. I let them talk.
I listened to them, and then I, you know, I
share what I do. So that's something that you know,
it took time for me to get used to because
I never I was a person that was very quiet.
I was like, oh, you know, not anymore. But it
was a wall flower. And so I've learned that over time.
(23:16):
You know, unless you speak out and reach out to
somebody and talk, they're not going to reach out to you.
And and that's one thing, you know, when you get
thrown into the pool. I've actually gotten thrown into a river. Yeah,
well it was this guy snack up on me. I
guess he liked me. He was one of the river
guides of this rafting adventure type of thing. He snack
(23:41):
up on me and pulled me into the river. And
the first thing I realized, oh natural thing, because it
was so cold. I went to, well, you know, I
just might heartbeat. And then when I got up there,
I got back into the into the you know, the wrath.
But your body does respond that way. It makes you,
you know, not necessarily hold your that for breath, to
give you a moment to slow down and figure out
(24:04):
what you need to do.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, exactly, you know. I will. For your audience who
will be listening to this, either right now or later,
I will teach two, maybe three important things. One is
I used to when I did do my workshops. I
used to always go after explaining about resilience in general.
I loved real time resilience so much I would just
(24:29):
go right to it. The thing I realized that when
people are really emotionally upset, it's really hard to engage
our prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
And use about it and think about.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
It and use these strategies. So one of the other
fast skills is calming and focusing, and that is another
fast skill that you can do just right on the spot.
And so once you realize, oh, my gosh, I got
shipp in the pool, or you realize, you know, I'm
really you know, panicking, or I'm feeling very anxious. And
(25:06):
the first thing is to breathe. And I know that
sounds very obvious, and I know that in this day
and age there are many, many, many practices, wonderful practices
on breathing. But literally, your breath is what keeps you
centered and grounded in this world. And someone pointed out
(25:27):
on a presentation I was listening to not long ago,
that you can go a long time without eating, you
can go actually some days without drinking anything, yes, and
still stay alive. But the minute, I mean you stop breathing,
you know, more than for a minute or two, man,
you're gone. Okay, So breath is utterly core to who
we are. The other thing that's really that helps me
(25:50):
stay grounded in any kind of breathing is to realize
that the what we breathe, the air, the oxygen, the
atmosps sphere around us, that is the one thing that
connects every single human being on the planet. And this
is part of Barbara Frederickson, who's known as one of
(26:11):
the mothers of positive psychology, has these wonderful meditations. And
this I learned this from Warning for Meditations, is that
when you take a breath in, every single human being
on the planet, regardless of time zone, regardless of hemisphere,
they are doing the exact they are breathing the exact
same air. Yes, they are, and that connects us. The
(26:34):
other thing that I thought of, kind of a corollary
to this is if every single human being on the
planet took a really big inhale all at the same time,
would we rent out of atmosphere? Would everyone suck up
all of the oxygen? Oh, they wouldn't. And so it
(26:58):
is we are literally surrounded by abundance. Yes, we are
literally surrounded by abundance. And the more we can tap
into I am surrounded by abundance. I am breathing in
the same air that my next door neighbor is that
you're breathing, et cetera. That is connection. So simply taking
(27:18):
a big internal breath where you fill up your whole lungs,
you fillip down into your stomach, down into your belly,
just one or two of those breaths activates your parasympathetic
nervous system and helps helps calm So there's that calming
and focusing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, and you know, sometimes people have anxiety, you know,
and they are not breathing as deeply as they should.
So for me, for them just to be aware of
how they're breathing, just pay attention to the way you're breathing.
Am I breathing shadowy? Am I breathing deeply? Because as
soon as you breathe in deeply, then you're going to
(27:59):
be able to you know, it's doing it slowly, You're
going to be more aware of what the rhythm is like,
and then you can add the next breath even slower.
I'm probably not many people like me out there. I'm
actually a scuba diver as well, and because of certain
injuries I've had in the past, I use a smaller
(28:19):
tank and most people and I come up with the
small tank not empty, and people are or everyone else
is empty, and they're really amazed, they said, you're like
a fish. It's just because of the way I breathe.
And when I'm scuba diving, I'm so darn relaxed that
I'm just like enjoying the scenery. It's like it's like
(28:41):
you're flying over a little microcosm of a community. I
don't know if at Disneyland, there used to be a
thing where it looks like you're flying over a small community.
It's like one of these rides at Disneyland, and that's
what it's like when you scuba dive. And so I
was just in excel and I was great at buoyancy.
(29:02):
So I felt like I was going up to high.
I would just exhale more and I'll, you know, balance out.
So if you know how to control your breath and
you pay at if you don't pay attention to how
you breathe, and then pay attention to how you feel
when you're bringing down your anxiety, and you'll notice a difference.
(29:23):
It's just being aware, right.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
Yeah, exactly, and absolutely what you said about that when
you're anxious, we tend to breathe kind of shallowly, and
then we don't get as much brain to our we
don't get as much oxygen to our brain and our extremities.
And so by like you, just like you said, by
slowing down, breathing in, breathing out. There's lots of different
(29:48):
ways of breathing, but simply slowing down and breathing more deeply,
we're going to get more oxygen to our brain so
we can think better, so we can function better, so
we can then apply these other streies for real time
resilience once we've calmed ourselves down.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, are there any other real time resilience that you
want to share since we're talking about it, because I
think that this would be very beneficial for other people
out there right now.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
Yeah. Absolutely, so two of my very favorite strategies. One
is called evidence and the presence starter is that's not
true because and then you fill in the blank with
something that is specific, accurate and vivid that that demonstrates,
(30:35):
that proves that whatever thought that you're thinking is not true.
And what the real time is the purpose of real
time resilience is to overcome and kind of smack down
these automatic negative thoughts that continually flitter through our head,
like oh, I'm an idiot, or I'm not any good,
or I can't do this. We have these little tiny
(30:56):
phrases two or three words or it you know, or
four words, a little tiny sentence that will automatically just
pop into our head. And so what we become aware,
Oh that popped into my head or I'm saying it now,
I'm such an idiot. Right, But have I done anything
right today? When that pops in, then once we're aware
(31:18):
that you're doing it now, then you can whip out
that evidence that's not true because you know, I'm not
an idiot, because that's not true because I organized a
Messiah sing along for a thousand people in three months.
You know, I'm the primary editor of Frank Abagneil's fraud bulletin.
(31:38):
You know I can say these things that are very
specific and specific, vivid and accurate to smack that down.
And another one of my favorite strategies is a reframe,
and that is and the sentence starter is well a
better way of looking at this or a more accurate
(31:58):
way of looking at this. And for an example of
how this can play out, you know, for example, Linda
calls her daughter and her daughter doesn't pick up the phone.
So Linda starts thinking, my daughter doesn't like me. She
doesn't like to think about that, she doesn't like to
she doesn't like to talk to me. I was a
(32:20):
terrible mother, and I don't I didn't do anything right
raising her.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
You can see that it.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
And all that happened was she called her daughter, her
daughter didn't pick up the phone, and so instead of
going into this this this negative thinking, this spiral, downward spiral.
There's lots of different types of negative thinking, but the
one I just illustrated was like a downward spiral instead
of spiraling out into you know, she doesn't like me,
(32:52):
she didn't like to talk to me. I was a
terrible mother, and I don't do anything right. You know.
Instead you can say that's not true. You know she
doesn't like to talk to me. Well, that's not true
because she has called me to talk to me. And
a better way of looking at this is, yes, i
made some mistakes as a mom, but I've apologized for them.
(33:16):
I've changed my behavior and I and I didn't and
I did do many good things as a mother, gave
her many opportunities. And so I really like that reframing.
You know, they say you can't change the past, and
I am beginning to disagree to an extent about that.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
While it is true we.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Cannot change the actual physical event that happened, we can
reframe while we look at that, and that can change things. Yeah,
So reframing is a really really is it really to me?
For me? A very powerful strategy.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
So the reframing is helping them understand what something to
materialize in their favor, how it could be done better
or how. You know, this was out of my control
because my parents did X, Y, and Z. And I'm
an adult now and I can, you know, I can.
I can do what I need to do. I don't
(34:18):
need to hear their you know, hear what they've done.
Is so important in life to have a positive mindset,
as I opened it up as crucial for success. And
people don't do go in those bibles, and they need
to reframe themselves. And some people have a really hard
time thinking about the positive. So if someone's having a
(34:40):
really hard time thinking about positive, is there anything that
you kind of do that's a little different without reframing.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Well, the one thing to keep in mind is that
there are, you know, some of the some of the
mistakes that are made as people are learning how to
do real time resilience. And one of them is you
know a Pollyanna, you know, being Pollyanna. And that is
where I like to say, you want to have durable optimism,
(35:11):
you want to have realistic, real time, real time resilience,
and that is where you very clearly see the challenges.
You don't say, oh that bad thing isn't happening. You
don't say you know, things are not what they are,
but you acknowledge they are what they are. And I
can still find something good or I can still innovate
(35:34):
in a way that can help me meet that challenge.
And for me, uh, for example, on the reframing, something
happened that you know, many many years ago that was
extraordinarily emotionally painful for me. It just was like a
dagger in my heart that just stayed there for years
(35:54):
and years and years. Okay, And when I shared about
this experience with you know, something that someone had done
and said with my therapist, she said, oh, well, this
this person has attachment issues, and so of course when
they are in this situation, it would be very normal
(36:14):
for them to react how they did. It had nothing
to do with you, you know, because they have issues with attaching,
and so when they're in this situation, they're going to
say and they're going to respond the way that they did.
Oh my gosh. It completely changed my perspective on that event.
Instead of being I am somehow deficient and this was
(36:37):
somehow my fault and I'm not you know, lovable in
it was like it's like, you know, just take that
knife out of your heart, let it heal. That was
that person and and so for me that was reframing.
And so for me that did change the past. That
(36:58):
changed the past, and so and so and so looking
at you know, being being getting back to your notion
and being positive is acknowledging what happened and then having
different tools of reframing, reloking at it, and being able
to move on from there.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Those are some wonderful tools that you share today. Now,
what does your offer from my audience today?
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Wonderful? Well, I am so excited because one of the
protect protective factors when you look at real time and
you look at resilience as a whole, you have some
foundations that you can build on, you have some skills
that you can learn, and then you have some protective factors. Well,
(37:42):
one of the protective factors is positive organizations. And one
of the things I feel absolutely passionate about, passionate about,
is helping organizations create workplaces where people want to stay
instead of wanting to leave and more positive organizations helps
(38:03):
us protect our resilience. And so I have various workshops
for organizations and I'm going to be doing one of
those in the end of April and April twenty fifth.
Friday April twenty fifth, at ten am, I just barely
posted on my LinkedIn side. I'll be putting it in
(38:23):
my Facebook page and Instagram and on my website. But
the very first professional workshop that I did was in
Jing of twenty twenty when COVID would head hit We're
all locked down, and my workshop was on the resilient organization.
And I just barely graduated from the University of Pennsylvania,
(38:45):
so I was using everything that I learned from there,
everything that I learned many years ago at BYU, and
I said, you know what, in this day and age,
with a stock market going like this, all the crazy
stuff that is happening in our world today, that it
is time to dust off and to revisit the resilient organization.
So I'm going to be doing a workshop on that,
(39:06):
and anyone who signs up for it, you use the
code Robin r O B I N and you will
get a fifty percent discount on that is a minor
feed of fifty percent discount, and you are welcome to
use that. I have future on workshops as well, and
that'll be they'll be posting about later and you can
(39:29):
go ahead and use that same code for a fifty
percent discount. Just use just putting Robin R O B
I N my name and that will give you a
discount on that.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Okay, so they would go to I have you Dan,
going to your email Robin at Robin Learning Systems, and
you can imagine Debbie changes lives, so she knows where
this is coming from. Absolutely the wonderful offer. Robin. Would
you like to be a guest on my show again?
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Oh? Absolutely, this is you have a delightful show's and
I love the whole premise of Debbie changing, Debbie changes lives,
and I love the whole premise that you change your
life and now you're giving back, You're helping other women,
other men, children change their lives. I think that is
(40:15):
just something really really fantastic.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Well, thank you, so I'll have you back. Please stick
around for closing remarks. Okay, Yes, remember I do revitalize
people's lives in many different areas of health and mindset,
and I help you correct your gut. I have a
hormone issues, immunity mindset of course, and so much more.
And so it's all any health in mindset and pretty
(40:37):
much what I do is I guide you to a clean,
toxic free diet and high quality central nutrient products. I
lor reduce symptoms. You'll feel better, be marked productive, and
possibly flew some weight and it's going to uplift your mood.
With my mindset coaching, I help you release your stress
emotions and taken in the pass and help you reshape
(40:59):
your mindset. That would be enhanced with my health and
optimization as well as white released, your body is being
more efficient. So that's a mind body thing that I'm
doing for you with my programs. So reach out to
me a set up appointment on my consultation button, but
a bi link tree at Deputy Changes Lives, the E
B I H oh sorry A C H A n G,
(41:20):
S L I vias the victory es dot com for
slactually tree and there you get to know me. I
get to know you, and I guide you to optimal health.
As first starts with one of two assessments, the health evaluation.
You rate your symptoms the last thirty days before categories
of health and there might be some more questions in
different categories. You'll get a health court. I'll review it
with you. I'll create that custom natural hostic strategy with
(41:42):
for you when you move forward with my services and
when the monitors on a monthly basis. I also have
two different body scams and I prefer to do the
sidelink which is now called the zero Link Sustain Company.
And I've actually sent this remotely and internationally to South Africa.
And zero Link is a transdermal optical imagy app. I
(42:05):
send a link to your phone, you scan your face
your thirty seconds. It's only looking at blood flowing out
your face for components of emotional, energetic, confunctional and different
body systems and lifestyles. And the emotional is a gem.
It creates a wellness report, not a diagnosis of one
of biomarkers at arrange and products of services that bring
(42:25):
it back into range. It's quite intensive. Reports are review
with you and it costs seventy five dollars. When you
move forward with any of my programs or products, you
get a twenty five dollars discount. Now, the zero Link
is that transdermal optical imaging app also know as two
I and you can look that up puffmed dot go,
pub med dot gov. And I also have a pack
(42:48):
a family pack where you can say fifty dollars on
five scans. Now, people are really amaze what their body
tells them the scan and you'll be too curious. Go
to that link to get your first sid a scan
and on the site are my programs take your Body
back as a twelve week wait release mindset coding coaching
program where can you as a new version of you
(43:09):
for your success. All coaching is done on Zoom and
the first one is always private to you because I
go over your health analysis, I give you a choice
between two meal plans instructions on one and also I'm
going to help you create a new version of you
in an avatar board. They'll drive you with emotion of
passion to achieve your health and wait transformation goal. Throughout
your journey. We'll be using this code that's board during
(43:32):
coaching and whether it's group or private, we will be
celebrating your wins and I'll be guiding over your guests
with health and mindset tips and also answer your questions.
You're welcome to ask me questions about this program because
you will become a new you. And you also watch
a previous episode holl is it Self Love for more details.
(43:53):
Just remember my price has gone up. Why fast is
then in a minute fasting program that gets yourselves and
body hemin and with rich nutrition and nutrients and exercises
and recipes. You can ask me questions about that and
remember in a minute fasting actually repair cells, reduces information
(44:14):
and gives you mental clarity. You can also if you
need some coaching, you can buy a two or four
program I also have. You can use these smaller programs
for a mindset enhancement as well half organization, but those
are usually large, larger journeys and for a limit time.
I have a thirty minute coaching session called Deputy chatpt's
(44:35):
coaching Chests that's not recorded. There's several topics here that
a surveyabile pick from uptimizing health, ways of releasing stress
and emotions, efficially leasing weight, creating a running mindset, as
well as crying that new version of you in a
avatar boarder drive you with emotion and passion to achieve
your health and weight transformations. These meetings are on Tuesdays
(44:55):
at four pm specific seven pm Eastern. I need to
sign up for it at DeBie Changes Lives as D
E B I, C H A N g E s
l I V San Victory ees dot com for slash
chats and you learn what my coation is all about. Finally,
learn more about alternative health services, programs, products and offers, articles, blogs,
(45:16):
batcoming shows, events and promos by subscribing to my newsletter
at DeBie changes lives dot com. This time four Slash
Radio TV show all one word and I give you
a gift At thirty Day Health of midse at Daily
Action Journal, we record your gratitude, thoughts, feeling, some emotions, food,
water and nutritional selfess and exercise you do on a
daily basis and also tracking measurements. You want to celebrate
(45:36):
your wins daily, weekly and monthly and look for your
gaps and if you need help with gaps, you can
contact me for coaching. I'm certain that you found this
show educational, empowering and enjoyed it. Reach out to me
for my products, services and also programs and offers, and
reach out to Robin for her services at offer. Do
(45:57):
we have time for Robin to come back? Yes?
Speaker 4 (45:59):
Thanks, thank you so much, as I've been thoroughly a
delight to be here. I really feel very privileged to
be here, and I salute you for all the good
that you're bringing in the world. And I'll just say
to the audience that resilience is not like a light
switch you turn on and off, and you're born with
it and you can develop it like a muscle. And
no matter what your resilience potent is right now, you
(46:22):
can always get it better. And you can find me
at Robin Learningsystems dot com.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Thank you. So I'm continuing to enjoy my Ready on
TV show Debut Changes lives on Thursdays at three pm Pacific,
six pm Eastern, where your holistic learning begins.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Do you want to move back to to
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome to my radio and TV show, Debbie Changes Lives.
I'm Debbie, you cerifi Hell. As the cause coach, I
finalize people's lives by helping to identify the recause without
health and mindset issues and create a custom natural, holistic
strategy address them in the areas of mind, body, and soul.
As a health coach, I'm not a last say that
I heal three here, prevent or diagnose any diseases. I
(01:12):
could certainly make your body more efficient by reducing symptoms,
You'll feel better, be more reductive, and enjoy life more.
Not many people have released seventy pounds, had a health transformation,
and kept fit and trim for over a decade. I
have and I have staying power and it's been over
eleven years. I even became a half marathon runner at
the age of fifty one, when I never ran from childhood,
(01:35):
AHOO did a food pain and I have done eight
half marathons. Mindset is a key to lasting change. As
a certify Holissic health coach, I do revialize people's lives
in many different areas of health and mindset. I guide
them to clean ToxS of refuse and high quality essential nutrients.
My coaching is for optimizing your health, releasing weight efficiently
(01:57):
if needed, and enhancing your mindset. With my mindset coaching,
I help my clients recognize that their thoughts, feelings, and
emotions drive their actions and results. Sometimes that's good and
sometimes that gets bad. So it's really crucial for you
to have a positive mindset to succeed in life. It's
also imperative that you manage your emotions and release those
(02:18):
low vibrational emotions such as fear, frustration, and doubt, because
I want to slow you down and get you stuck physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually. Lock on a hot air balloon with ballasis.
I help my clients release those emotional ballasies and bagshas
so they can uplift to a better healthier life and
turning their releasing their stress and reshaping their core beliefs.
(02:41):
You will see and feel the differences of my coaching programs.
Separate a consultation and ask me more about them at
my link tree at Debbie Changes Lives d E B
I C H A N T E S l I
VAS and victory ees dot com or slash link tree
l I n k are EE and I'll guide you
(03:02):
to that better, happier, healthier life.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Now.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
People have told me that I have grip and I've
build resilience throughout my life and has been so beneficial
for me today, I am thrilled to have Robin Johnson,
the founder of Robin Learning Systems. She is a well
being advisor, a fraud prevention expert, and a zuzuki violinist teacher.
(03:29):
How fun is that she blends her unique experience and
insight and everything she does, whether she is guiding someone
to find their signature strength or helping companies to create
an environment where they're going to stay. She holds an
MBA and organizational Behavior with BYU and a master's with
(03:51):
Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Philadelphia, where she
studied under Martin Ziegler, who is the founder of Positive Psychology.
She's also a number one international author where her book
hit number one in twenty nine categories in thirteen countries.
(04:15):
She's also a sought after speaker, and she co authored
this book Enabling Business for Success. Today, Robin is going
to be sharing with us how to build resilience. It's
like building a muscle. With a little bit of effort
and intention, it could be done. And so we're going
(04:36):
to welcome Robin Johnson, the founder of Robin's Learning Systems,
to my show. So is Robin there? I sure, I am, hello,
Welcome to my show.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Thank you so much. It is really really a delight
to be here. And I will say that we met
and you were a guest on a podcast that I
co host, and you are such a delightful guest talking
about all the changes that you've done and inspiring women.
(05:09):
The co host I am. The podcast I co host
is Women Investing in Women, and you're a fabulous guest there,
and was so kind of you to invite me to
be on your show, Debbie changes lives, because you absolutely
do change lives. And it's really a privilege for me
to be here with you.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Thank you really, Yeah, that's so wonderful what you just said.
I appreciate it. And so, you know, I know what
resilience is. Maybe some people don't. So what is resilience.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Well, in the studies that I've done at the University
of Pennsylvania and also with my MBA and an emphasis
and organizational behavior from Brigham Young University, resilience is the
ability to bounce back from challenges, to navigate through adversity,
to overcome obstacles, and this is very important to reach
(06:04):
out and to grow. We often think of these first
three components, bouncing back and navigating through overcoming those are
reactive in nature. We're reacting to something, which is extremely important.
But another component is being able to find growth through
that adversity, through that challenge, through those obstacles, and being
(06:28):
able to reach out and grow because of that. And
we've heard a lot about post traumatic syndrome, which is
very real and very important to be addressed, but there's
also a phenomenon called post traumatic growth where we can
grow from our challenges.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yes, and it's really important because sometimes our challenges I
don't like to call the failures. I just call them
something to work on and grow upon, because you can
always find something that did quite work out and improve
upon it and get to where you need to go.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah. Absolutely, it's interesting. I've heard from different people that
the symbol in some might be in Chinese or some
language like that, that the symbol for challenge is the
same as a symbol for opportunity or something like that.
But basically, as you just said, we look at challenges
(07:25):
as opportunities, and it's very true that we get knocked down.
Sometimes we get bucked off the horse and acknowledging, hey
I just got bucked off a horse. You kind of
lick our wounds for a minute, then catch your breath,
dust yourself off, and then and then have the skills
to then keep going.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, as you said that, I had, I broke my
foot a few years ago and I actually healed very
quickly from it, so I'm really happy about that. But
I did have some mussilos, so I had amblysis, and
unfortunately I felt a few times and injured myself and
I felt like I was doing the chacha and I
just laughed it off. So it's really when something happens
to you just left to laugh it off because what
(08:04):
it does that changes your feeling about what you should
happen when you fell. Yeah, don't you agree?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yeah, there are many There are many situations where you
can look back and find the humor in it. And
sometimes it takes a while to find a humor in it.
Of course, there's some situations where there isn't any humor
to be found. You just solemnly acknowledge what happened and
move on. But in many instances, having a sense of
humor definitely aids in our resilience. It, you know, aids
(08:34):
in our ability to overcome, navigate and work through, navigate through,
and so having it having some humor is definitely definitely helpful.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yeah, it isn't my case. So why is having resilience matter?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Resilience is extremely important because people with resilience are more
successful in every category of life. They get better grades,
they have better relationships, they earn more many they have
more opportunities. And the other thing that's really important is
that the skills of resilience that are learnable skills help
(09:14):
us undo the ongoing negative consequences that come that stem
from our childhood. And it doesn't matter how great of
a childhood you had had. Everyone has challenges from childhood.
There's no there are no parents who are perfect. Every
parent made mistakes, and as children we absorb those mistakes
(09:36):
and carry them into our future. Having a sense of
resilience and learning the skills of resilience can help us overcome,
discover and overcome some of those challenges. And some of
those challenges we already know what they are. Others remain
hidden to us, and so being able to develop our resilience,
(09:56):
it gives us the emotional strength over to uncover some
of those things and the emotional strength to then overcome them.
We have to discover them and then overcome them. So
it's it's very important.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah, exactly. Now, some people are very good with their
grades and what's coming to their lives, and they need
to pay more attention to it and treasure that and
realize that that's something really a positive thing in life.
Do you ever have people that don't recognize that, as with.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Jillians, Well, I see there's two things coming to my head.
One thing is called imposter syndrome, which is very very real,
and it's where we just don't believe that we are
as good as we are. And this can happen to anyone,
and there are definitely some strategies and skills you can
learn to overcome that. But one of my favorite examples
(10:53):
is Karen Rivitch. Doctor Karen Ravitch. She teaches at the
University of Pennsylvania. She helped developed the pen Resilience program,
which is one of the most vetted programs and most
popular programs in the world, and she helped invent this.
She and she did in class. She shared that one
(11:13):
time she was flying out from Philadeladelphia out down out
to San Francisco to meet with some military leaders because
the army had adopted had adopted this resilience program to
help their soldiers. She's flying in getting ready to land,
and she starts thinking, oh my gosh, what if I
(11:34):
forget what I'm gonna say? Am I even any good
at this?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You know? But they don't believe me, you know?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And this is the person who invented it. Okay, suddenly
struck with this imposter syndrome. Is she's in the air
getting ready to land. Well, fortunately she remembered her training
and so her training kicked in. Okay, you know that's
not true, because you know, I am the one who
(12:02):
invented this, and if I forget something thing, I can
just look in my notes. You know, all these strategies
that we learn, you know, in school, which we then
you know, apply and which I will can teach people.
But that's my favorite example is here is a person
who invented it, and she is having imposter syndrome. So
(12:22):
there's imposter syndrome where we don't believe that we are
as good as we are. And then the other thing
is is having a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
And oftentimes children who are really good, they have a
good set of skills, maybe they're raising a family where
(12:43):
they were able to develop a lot of things. If
they are told, oh, you're really smart, so you can
do that, you can do this because you're just really smart,
You're just naturally good at this. Well there are times
when yeah, you are naturally good. But on the other hand,
there are times when you had hard and you had
practiced and you had tried, you'd worked out you know,
(13:04):
whatever this this skill might be. And when children are
told you know, you're just really smart, well you don't
really have a lot of control over how smart you are,
and that can actually backfire and cause them to not try.
Because if I'm supposed to just be naturally good and
(13:24):
then I try it something and I'm not just naturally
good at it, then that means I've failed, and so
I'm just not going to try. And so what we
want to do is focus on things that children have
control over. Well, you, wow, you got a really good grade.
You must have studied really hard, or you must have
(13:45):
paid attention to the teacher, or maybe you went to
those extra workshops. So that is something that you have
control over. And so it makes me think of right
after I had just been doing some reading and learning
on this and giving credit where credit is due, when
my daughter and son in law then had my first
(14:07):
grand their first child, my granddaughter, they said, this book
Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck. This is required reading, and
so if you want to interact with your granddaughter, you
need to read this and adopt different vocabulary, which I did, okay,
And so anyway, just just having that having that vocabulary,
(14:31):
and I realized I went off on this tangent of
this story about my granddaughter and real life kind of
forgot where I was going with this, but the notion that, oh, yeah,
I can remember it.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Now, I've just been reading it.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
And so my our other daughters were home, you know,
then they were they they've all learned violin and piano
and multiple instruments and and that, and they were performing.
And someone said to me, oh, it's so lucky that
your children are so talented, and I yes, luck and
thousands of hours of practicing and thousands of dollars in
(15:05):
music lessons exactly, and yes they are really good.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yes, and some do have natural talents, but they still
need to grow and work on those talents and get
some expert advice from people exactly, exactly. Yeah, and it's
interesting that, you know, the first example she actually saw
her doubt, recognized it and as they said, okay, what
do I do now, and released it. I'm sure she
(15:32):
got through her presentation and with the exciting example of
children that's backloss reading a book. But my whole point is,
you know, these kids these days, because of what they've
been through recently with the pandemic, they don't have the
bunk nanity, so to speak, and I mean both spunk
(15:56):
and spondinity. So world is so much differ than it
was when we were growing up, and they're letting that,
you know, pull them down. And it's really important to
not pay attention to what's going in the external world
and pay attention to what you're doing and how you're
reacting to it. Like you said at the beginning, being proactive,
and that's what I have my clients do too.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you know, and I think that I
realized that we have a tendency to put different generations
into stereotypical boxes. And so I'm wondering if some of
this notion of well they don't have as much resilience
or sticktuitiveness. I personally have not not experienced that in
(16:44):
my interactions, but I wonder is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That I make resilience. It's just they are they have
doubt about the I mean, I know, as somebody as
graduating soon and she doesn't even know what she's going
to do because of what's going on right now. So
that's the whole point. They're just wondering what the world is,
what's going on in the world. In the set of
wondering what's going on in the world, just move forward
(17:07):
and find that.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Job you get My point. Yes, yes, that is very true.
I was going to say that because of their experiences,
they're approaching life differently. You know, for example, when COVID
hit and lots of people are dying, lots of people
are getting sick, people are being laid off, people are
being furloughed, people are working online. It really it shifted
(17:33):
people's priorities and shifted people's perspectives. And so maybe these
young people are going to be different than say someone,
say my older sister who just turned eighty, and you
grew up like more in the industrial age, where you
work with one company for fifty years and then you retire.
You know, their their life experiences are different.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yes, right.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I do believe that not just this generation, but any
generation can function more effectively in their mindset, in their
belief system, and in their ability to move forward and
like you said, to be proactive and having the strength
to do that, they having the skills to do that.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, exactly, And they may go from job to job
and maybe a lot more variety and more interesting too.
I mean that's the way you can look at it, right.
So you know, I've seen one of your presentations and
you talk about creating an edge of the pool. You
explained to the audience what that is all about.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Yeah, that is one of my favorite concepts to teach,
and within the broad field of resilience. So one of
my favorite slices of the pie is what it's called
the fast skill. Real time resilience. Is called real time
resilience because you can keep it in your hip pocket
and whip it out anytime you need it.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
And within that skill, there's different strategies and different what
are called sentence starters. And I use the analogy that
these sentence starters and these strategies are like the edge
of a swimming pool. And when I was watching my
(19:20):
children learn how to swim, and then also as I
watch my granddaughters learn how to swim, the instructor will
have them jump in, then turn around, and then kind
of paddle to the edge and grab onto the edge,
jump in, turn around, grab the edge, jump in, turn around,
grab the edge, and they jump out a little bit further,
then turn around, paddle over, grab the edge. Well, they
(19:42):
do that over and over and over again in multiple lessons,
and one time the instructor explained the reason why they
do this is so when the children are off on
their own and they're at a swim party, or they're
at a public school, a public pool, and they get
kind of joss older maybe to get pushed and they
fall into the pool. And instead of just kind of
(20:04):
flailing around and drowning that they will instinctively when they
hit the water, instinctively, they'll they'll reach over and they'll
try to they'll go toward finding the edge of the pool.
And so I use that analogy that we can create.
I used to call it find I now call it
create our mental edge of the pool. So when we
(20:29):
got we get knocked off balance. Maybe we're sitting in
a marriage therapy session and something has said then we're
knocked out balanced, or maybe we're at work and someone
says something that knocks us out balanced, or our child
says something that knocks us out balance, and we're just
kind of in our heads and in our hearts, you're
just kind of you know, flailing that that these sentence
(20:52):
starters and these strategies and another strategy called you know, calming,
calming and calming strategies that they can help us grab
onto a mental edge of the pool and instead of
just flailing around and being in this emotional distress or discomfort,
(21:13):
that we can turn ourselves around more quickly. And so
that's what I call it creating. We create a mental
edge of the pool. And what I discovered is that
the more I was able to create these mental edges
of the pool, I noticed the interesting interesting phenomenon is
I could kind of detect, oh, you know, it kind
(21:36):
of feels like I just about might be going to
be pushed into the pool. And I could get anticipating
being in situations where someone might try to push me
into the pool, and then I could anticipate that kind
of steel myself, you know, get my nerves strengthened, your anxiety. Yeah,
(21:59):
and so when I did get pushed into the pool,
I wasn't flatling around. I could kind of anticipate it,
have a response, and move on like that. And so
I just thought that was such an interesting phenomenon which
I didn't expect at all. But I could kind of
tell in social situations where I might you know, could
anticipate where I might get thrown off, and then I
(22:22):
wouldn't get thrown off. Instead, i'd be prepared.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah. Sometimes when you scan m I'm pathic. So sometimes
we scan the room I feel the energy or I feel, oh,
this is not my crown, and so pretty much, you know,
you don't want to feel nervous and anxious. So you
just wanted to take a deep breath and say what
can I do in this situation? And obviously, I just
(22:48):
because of when people call my grit, it's just my courage.
I have no fear. I just like, Hi, I'm Debbie,
and I that's what they do.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I just what do you do?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
And I just listen to them. I let them talk.
I listened to them, and then I, you know, I
share what I do. So that's something that you know,
it took time for me to get used to because
I never I was a person that was very quiet.
I was like, oh, you know, not anymore. But it
was a wall flower. And so I've learned that over time.
(23:16):
You know, unless you speak out and reach out to
somebody and talk, they're not going to reach out to you.
And and that's one thing, you know, when you get
thrown into the pool. I've actually gotten thrown into a river. Yeah,
well it was this guy snack up on me. I
guess he liked me. He was one of the river
guides of this rafting adventure type of thing. He snack
(23:41):
up on me and pulled me into the river. And
the first thing I realized, oh natural thing, because it
was so cold. I went to, well, you know, I
just might heartbeat. And then when I got up there,
I got back into the into the you know, the wrath.
But your body does respond that way. It makes you,
you know, not necessarily hold your that for breath, to
give you a moment to slow down and figure out
(24:04):
what you need to do.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, exactly, you know. I will. For your audience who
will be listening to this, either right now or later,
I will teach two, maybe three important things. One is
I used to when I did do my workshops. I
used to always go after explaining about resilience in general.
I loved real time resilience so much I would just
(24:29):
go right to it. The thing I realized that when
people are really emotionally upset, it's really hard to engage
our prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
And use about it and think about.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
It and use these strategies. So one of the other
fast skills is calming and focusing, and that is another
fast skill that you can do just right on the spot.
And so once you realize, oh, my gosh, I got
shipp in the pool, or you realize, you know, I'm
really you know, panicking, or I'm feeling very anxious. And
(25:06):
the first thing is to breathe. And I know that
sounds very obvious, and I know that in this day
and age there are many, many, many practices, wonderful practices
on breathing. But literally, your breath is what keeps you
centered and grounded in this world. And someone pointed out
(25:27):
on a presentation I was listening to not long ago,
that you can go a long time without eating, you
can go actually some days without drinking anything, yes, and
still stay alive. But the minute, I mean you stop breathing,
you know, more than for a minute or two, man,
you're gone. Okay, So breath is utterly core to who
we are. The other thing that's really that helps me
(25:50):
stay grounded in any kind of breathing is to realize
that the what we breathe, the air, the oxygen, the
atmosps sphere around us, that is the one thing that
connects every single human being on the planet. And this
is part of Barbara Frederickson, who's known as one of
(26:11):
the mothers of positive psychology, has these wonderful meditations. And
this I learned this from Warning for Meditations, is that
when you take a breath in, every single human being
on the planet, regardless of time zone, regardless of hemisphere,
they are doing the exact they are breathing the exact
same air. Yes, they are, and that connects us. The
(26:34):
other thing that I thought of, kind of a corollary
to this is if every single human being on the
planet took a really big inhale all at the same time,
would we rent out of atmosphere? Would everyone suck up
all of the oxygen? Oh, they wouldn't. And so it
(26:58):
is we are literally surrounded by abundance. Yes, we are
literally surrounded by abundance. And the more we can tap
into I am surrounded by abundance. I am breathing in
the same air that my next door neighbor is that
you're breathing, et cetera. That is connection. So simply taking
(27:18):
a big internal breath where you fill up your whole lungs,
you fillip down into your stomach, down into your belly,
just one or two of those breaths activates your parasympathetic
nervous system and helps helps calm So there's that calming
and focusing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, and you know, sometimes people have anxiety, you know,
and they are not breathing as deeply as they should.
So for me, for them just to be aware of
how they're breathing, just pay attention to the way you're breathing.
Am I breathing shadowy? Am I breathing deeply? Because as
soon as you breathe in deeply, then you're going to
(27:59):
be able to you know, it's doing it slowly, You're
going to be more aware of what the rhythm is like,
and then you can add the next breath even slower.
I'm probably not many people like me out there. I'm
actually a scuba diver as well, and because of certain
injuries I've had in the past, I use a smaller
(28:19):
tank and most people and I come up with the
small tank not empty, and people are or everyone else
is empty, and they're really amazed, they said, you're like
a fish. It's just because of the way I breathe.
And when I'm scuba diving, I'm so darn relaxed that
I'm just like enjoying the scenery. It's like it's like
(28:41):
you're flying over a little microcosm of a community. I
don't know if at Disneyland, there used to be a
thing where it looks like you're flying over a small community.
It's like one of these rides at Disneyland, and that's
what it's like when you scuba dive. And so I
was just in excel and I was great at buoyancy.
(29:02):
So I felt like I was going up to high.
I would just exhale more and I'll, you know, balance out.
So if you know how to control your breath and
you pay at if you don't pay attention to how
you breathe, and then pay attention to how you feel
when you're bringing down your anxiety, and you'll notice a difference.
(29:23):
It's just being aware, right.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
Yeah, exactly, and absolutely what you said about that when
you're anxious, we tend to breathe kind of shallowly, and
then we don't get as much brain to our we
don't get as much oxygen to our brain and our extremities.
And so by like you, just like you said, by
slowing down, breathing in, breathing out. There's lots of different
(29:48):
ways of breathing, but simply slowing down and breathing more deeply,
we're going to get more oxygen to our brain so
we can think better, so we can function better, so
we can then apply these other streies for real time
resilience once we've calmed ourselves down.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, are there any other real time resilience that you
want to share since we're talking about it, because I
think that this would be very beneficial for other people
out there right now.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
Yeah. Absolutely, so two of my very favorite strategies. One
is called evidence and the presence starter is that's not
true because and then you fill in the blank with
something that is specific, accurate and vivid that that demonstrates,
(30:35):
that proves that whatever thought that you're thinking is not true.
And what the real time is the purpose of real
time resilience is to overcome and kind of smack down
these automatic negative thoughts that continually flitter through our head,
like oh, I'm an idiot, or I'm not any good,
or I can't do this. We have these little tiny
(30:56):
phrases two or three words or it you know, or
four words, a little tiny sentence that will automatically just
pop into our head. And so what we become aware,
Oh that popped into my head or I'm saying it now,
I'm such an idiot. Right, But have I done anything
right today? When that pops in, then once we're aware
(31:18):
that you're doing it now, then you can whip out
that evidence that's not true because you know, I'm not
an idiot, because that's not true because I organized a
Messiah sing along for a thousand people in three months.
You know, I'm the primary editor of Frank Abagneil's fraud bulletin.
(31:38):
You know I can say these things that are very
specific and specific, vivid and accurate to smack that down.
And another one of my favorite strategies is a reframe,
and that is and the sentence starter is well a
better way of looking at this or a more accurate
(31:58):
way of looking at this. And for an example of
how this can play out, you know, for example, Linda
calls her daughter and her daughter doesn't pick up the phone.
So Linda starts thinking, my daughter doesn't like me. She
doesn't like to think about that, she doesn't like to
she doesn't like to talk to me. I was a
(32:20):
terrible mother, and I don't I didn't do anything right
raising her.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
You can see that it.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
And all that happened was she called her daughter, her
daughter didn't pick up the phone, and so instead of
going into this this this negative thinking, this spiral, downward spiral.
There's lots of different types of negative thinking, but the
one I just illustrated was like a downward spiral instead
of spiraling out into you know, she doesn't like me,
(32:52):
she didn't like to talk to me. I was a
terrible mother, and I don't do anything right. You know.
Instead you can say that's not true. You know she
doesn't like to talk to me. Well, that's not true
because she has called me to talk to me. And
a better way of looking at this is, yes, i
made some mistakes as a mom, but I've apologized for them.
(33:16):
I've changed my behavior and I and I didn't and
I did do many good things as a mother, gave
her many opportunities. And so I really like that reframing.
You know, they say you can't change the past, and
I am beginning to disagree to an extent about that.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
While it is true we.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Cannot change the actual physical event that happened, we can
reframe while we look at that, and that can change things. Yeah,
So reframing is a really really is it really to me?
For me? A very powerful strategy.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
So the reframing is helping them understand what something to
materialize in their favor, how it could be done better
or how. You know, this was out of my control
because my parents did X, Y, and Z. And I'm
an adult now and I can, you know, I can.
I can do what I need to do. I don't
(34:18):
need to hear their you know, hear what they've done.
Is so important in life to have a positive mindset,
as I opened it up as crucial for success. And
people don't do go in those bibles, and they need
to reframe themselves. And some people have a really hard
time thinking about the positive. So if someone's having a
(34:40):
really hard time thinking about positive, is there anything that
you kind of do that's a little different without reframing.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Well, the one thing to keep in mind is that
there are, you know, some of the some of the
mistakes that are made as people are learning how to
do real time resilience. And one of them is you
know a Pollyanna, you know, being Pollyanna. And that is
where I like to say, you want to have durable optimism,
(35:11):
you want to have realistic, real time, real time resilience,
and that is where you very clearly see the challenges.
You don't say, oh that bad thing isn't happening. You
don't say you know, things are not what they are,
but you acknowledge they are what they are. And I
can still find something good or I can still innovate
(35:34):
in a way that can help me meet that challenge.
And for me, uh, for example, on the reframing, something
happened that you know, many many years ago that was
extraordinarily emotionally painful for me. It just was like a
dagger in my heart that just stayed there for years
(35:54):
and years and years. Okay, And when I shared about
this experience with you know, something that someone had done
and said with my therapist, she said, oh, well, this
this person has attachment issues, and so of course when
they are in this situation, it would be very normal
(36:14):
for them to react how they did. It had nothing
to do with you, you know, because they have issues with attaching,
and so when they're in this situation, they're going to
say and they're going to respond the way that they did.
Oh my gosh. It completely changed my perspective on that event.
Instead of being I am somehow deficient and this was
(36:37):
somehow my fault and I'm not you know, lovable in
it was like it's like, you know, just take that
knife out of your heart, let it heal. That was
that person and and so for me that was reframing.
And so for me that did change the past. That
(36:58):
changed the past, and so and so and so looking
at you know, being being getting back to your notion
and being positive is acknowledging what happened and then having
different tools of reframing, reloking at it, and being able
to move on from there.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Those are some wonderful tools that you share today. Now,
what does your offer from my audience today?
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Wonderful? Well, I am so excited because one of the
protect protective factors when you look at real time and
you look at resilience as a whole, you have some
foundations that you can build on, you have some skills
that you can learn, and then you have some protective factors. Well,
(37:42):
one of the protective factors is positive organizations. And one
of the things I feel absolutely passionate about, passionate about,
is helping organizations create workplaces where people want to stay
instead of wanting to leave and more positive organizations helps
(38:03):
us protect our resilience. And so I have various workshops
for organizations and I'm going to be doing one of
those in the end of April and April twenty fifth.
Friday April twenty fifth, at ten am, I just barely
posted on my LinkedIn side. I'll be putting it in
(38:23):
my Facebook page and Instagram and on my website. But
the very first professional workshop that I did was in
Jing of twenty twenty when COVID would head hit We're
all locked down, and my workshop was on the resilient organization.
And I just barely graduated from the University of Pennsylvania,
(38:45):
so I was using everything that I learned from there,
everything that I learned many years ago at BYU, and
I said, you know what, in this day and age,
with a stock market going like this, all the crazy
stuff that is happening in our world today, that it
is time to dust off and to revisit the resilient organization.
So I'm going to be doing a workshop on that,
(39:06):
and anyone who signs up for it, you use the
code Robin r O B I N and you will
get a fifty percent discount on that is a minor
feed of fifty percent discount, and you are welcome to
use that. I have future on workshops as well, and
that'll be they'll be posting about later and you can
(39:29):
go ahead and use that same code for a fifty
percent discount. Just use just putting Robin R O B
I N my name and that will give you a
discount on that.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Okay, so they would go to I have you Dan,
going to your email Robin at Robin Learning Systems, and
you can imagine Debbie changes lives, so she knows where
this is coming from. Absolutely the wonderful offer. Robin. Would
you like to be a guest on my show again?
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Oh? Absolutely, this is you have a delightful show's and
I love the whole premise of Debbie changing, Debbie changes lives,
and I love the whole premise that you change your
life and now you're giving back, You're helping other women,
other men, children change their lives. I think that is
(40:15):
just something really really fantastic.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Well, thank you, so I'll have you back. Please stick
around for closing remarks. Okay, Yes, remember I do revitalize
people's lives in many different areas of health and mindset,
and I help you correct your gut. I have a
hormone issues, immunity mindset of course, and so much more.
And so it's all any health in mindset and pretty
(40:37):
much what I do is I guide you to a clean,
toxic free diet and high quality central nutrient products. I
lor reduce symptoms. You'll feel better, be marked productive, and
possibly flew some weight and it's going to uplift your mood.
With my mindset coaching, I help you release your stress
emotions and taken in the pass and help you reshape
(40:59):
your mindset. That would be enhanced with my health and
optimization as well as white released, your body is being
more efficient. So that's a mind body thing that I'm
doing for you with my programs. So reach out to
me a set up appointment on my consultation button, but
a bi link tree at Deputy Changes Lives, the E
B I H oh sorry A C H A n G,
(41:20):
S L I vias the victory es dot com for
slactually tree and there you get to know me. I
get to know you, and I guide you to optimal health.
As first starts with one of two assessments, the health evaluation.
You rate your symptoms the last thirty days before categories
of health and there might be some more questions in
different categories. You'll get a health court. I'll review it
with you. I'll create that custom natural hostic strategy with
(41:42):
for you when you move forward with my services and
when the monitors on a monthly basis. I also have
two different body scams and I prefer to do the
sidelink which is now called the zero Link Sustain Company.
And I've actually sent this remotely and internationally to South Africa.
And zero Link is a transdermal optical imagy app. I
(42:05):
send a link to your phone, you scan your face
your thirty seconds. It's only looking at blood flowing out
your face for components of emotional, energetic, confunctional and different
body systems and lifestyles. And the emotional is a gem.
It creates a wellness report, not a diagnosis of one
of biomarkers at arrange and products of services that bring
(42:25):
it back into range. It's quite intensive. Reports are review
with you and it costs seventy five dollars. When you
move forward with any of my programs or products, you
get a twenty five dollars discount. Now, the zero Link
is that transdermal optical imaging app also know as two
I and you can look that up puffmed dot go,
pub med dot gov. And I also have a pack
(42:48):
a family pack where you can say fifty dollars on
five scans. Now, people are really amaze what their body
tells them the scan and you'll be too curious. Go
to that link to get your first sid a scan
and on the site are my programs take your Body
back as a twelve week wait release mindset coding coaching
program where can you as a new version of you
(43:09):
for your success. All coaching is done on Zoom and
the first one is always private to you because I
go over your health analysis, I give you a choice
between two meal plans instructions on one and also I'm
going to help you create a new version of you
in an avatar board. They'll drive you with emotion of
passion to achieve your health and wait transformation goal. Throughout
your journey. We'll be using this code that's board during
(43:32):
coaching and whether it's group or private, we will be
celebrating your wins and I'll be guiding over your guests
with health and mindset tips and also answer your questions.
You're welcome to ask me questions about this program because
you will become a new you. And you also watch
a previous episode holl is it Self Love for more details.
(43:53):
Just remember my price has gone up. Why fast is
then in a minute fasting program that gets yourselves and
body hemin and with rich nutrition and nutrients and exercises
and recipes. You can ask me questions about that and
remember in a minute fasting actually repair cells, reduces information
(44:14):
and gives you mental clarity. You can also if you
need some coaching, you can buy a two or four
program I also have. You can use these smaller programs
for a mindset enhancement as well half organization, but those
are usually large, larger journeys and for a limit time.
I have a thirty minute coaching session called Deputy chatpt's
(44:35):
coaching Chests that's not recorded. There's several topics here that
a surveyabile pick from uptimizing health, ways of releasing stress
and emotions, efficially leasing weight, creating a running mindset, as
well as crying that new version of you in a
avatar boarder drive you with emotion and passion to achieve
your health and weight transformations. These meetings are on Tuesdays
(44:55):
at four pm specific seven pm Eastern. I need to
sign up for it at DeBie Changes Lives as D
E B I, C H A N g E s
l I V San Victory ees dot com for slash
chats and you learn what my coation is all about. Finally,
learn more about alternative health services, programs, products and offers, articles, blogs,
(45:16):
batcoming shows, events and promos by subscribing to my newsletter
at DeBie changes lives dot com. This time four Slash
Radio TV show all one word and I give you
a gift At thirty Day Health of midse at Daily
Action Journal, we record your gratitude, thoughts, feeling, some emotions, food,
water and nutritional selfess and exercise you do on a
daily basis and also tracking measurements. You want to celebrate
(45:36):
your wins daily, weekly and monthly and look for your
gaps and if you need help with gaps, you can
contact me for coaching. I'm certain that you found this
show educational, empowering and enjoyed it. Reach out to me
for my products, services and also programs and offers, and
reach out to Robin for her services at offer. Do
(45:57):
we have time for Robin to come back? Yes?
Speaker 4 (45:59):
Thanks, thank you so much, as I've been thoroughly a
delight to be here. I really feel very privileged to
be here, and I salute you for all the good
that you're bringing in the world. And I'll just say
to the audience that resilience is not like a light
switch you turn on and off, and you're born with
it and you can develop it like a muscle. And
no matter what your resilience potent is right now, you
(46:22):
can always get it better. And you can find me
at Robin Learningsystems dot com.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Thank you. So I'm continuing to enjoy my Ready on
TV show Debut Changes lives on Thursdays at three pm Pacific,
six pm Eastern, where your holistic learning begins.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Do you want to move back to to
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