Struggling to see your child's neurodiversity as a gift? Join Debi and Angela Legh for an inspiring discussion on "Embracing Neurodiversity as a Superpower in Families." This follow-up offers a fresh perspective on ADHD, autism, and learning disabilities. Learn to foster compassion, curiosity, and celebrate your child’s unique strengths. Angela shares wisdom from "Children's Lives Matter" and her acclaimed show the “Unfiltered Parenting Show” to help you support your neurodiverse superpower!
Debi Changes Lives is broadcast live Thursdays at 6PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Debi Changes Lives TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Debi Changes Lives is broadcast live Thursdays at 6PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Debi Changes Lives TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Debi Changes Lives Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome to my radio and TV show, Debute Chances Lives.
I'm Debbie, you Surfy Helissa cauth coach. I violize people's
lives by happing them, identify at the root causes of
the health and miset issues, and create a customed, natural
antic strategy to address them in the areas of mind, body,
and soul. As a health coach, I'm not a gown
to say that I heal, tree, heure, prevent or diagnose
(01:13):
any diseases. I could certainly make your body more efficient
by reducing symptoms. You'll feel better, be reductive, and enjoy
life more. Not many people have released seventy pounds had
a health and mindset transformation and kept fitting triune for
over a decade. I have and I have stay in power.
It's been over eleven years. I even became a half
(01:34):
marathon runner at the age of fifty one when I
never ran from childhood pain and I have done eight
half marathons so far. Mind set is a key to
lasting change. As a certified to the List of health coach,
I do revialize people's lives in many different areas of
health and mindset. I guide them to clean toxic refuse
(01:55):
and high quality essential nutrients. My coach is for optimizing
your health, releasing way and enhancing your mindset. With my clients,
I help them recognize that their thoughts, feelings, and emotions
drive their actions down results sometimes good, sometimes bad. That's
why it's crucial to have a positive mindset in life.
It's also imperative to manage your emotions, to release those
(02:17):
low vibracial emotions such as fear, frustration, and doubt, because
all they're going to do is slow you down and
get you stuck physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Black a
hot air balloon that has balances. I help my clients
release those emotional balances and baggage to get uplift to
a better, healthier, healthier life. And in turn, they are
(02:38):
releasing their stress, they're getting healthier, and they're beginning to
shape their core beliefs. You will see and feel the
differences with my coaching programs. Ask me about them that
have a complimentary consultation at Debuts's Lives d E b
I d h A n t E S l ivs
and victory ees dot com or such link tree l
(03:00):
I n K t R e E, and I will
guide you to that better, healthier, healthier life with custom
solutions unique to you in the areas of mind, body
and soul. And are you aware that many people are
neudiversion and you know some of them you can't even tell,
and that's almost like their own superpower. Unfortunately, the medical
(03:22):
system gives everyone and them labels, you know, for services
and for medical reasons, and I personally don't like labels
because it gets people stuck. They get they get a
chip on their shoulder. Now, with neurodivers people their brains
work differently, and everyone's brain does work differently because they
(03:45):
have a different experience that's growing up and so it's
important to embrace our differences, as Richard Bruce's indicates neurodiversion.
People excel in areas such as logic, technology, skills, the
solving at her recognition, precision, subtain concentration, analysis, and other
(04:06):
cognitive functions. Some of them have very high IQs and
are change makers in our society and so they do.
Include Richard Branson and Elon Musk. Others are thought to
be like Albert Einstein and possibly Bill Gates. Today, I'm
honored to half back Angela Lee on my show. She's
(04:28):
the author of The Bella Santina Chronicles, producer and hosts
of Unfiltered Parenting show on BEINGE Network and also Children's
Lives Matters Are Thriving Women Network. Angela is best known
for being the author of a children's fantasy book, The
(04:48):
Bella Santini Chronicles, where she gives parents and children tools
and techniques for emotional balance. Her theme illustrates a uniqueness
of her heroine and how she withstands belovment and bulling.
For over fifty years, Angela has experienced abuse, bullying, and
(05:10):
belitvament as. Through this exposure, she has developed emotional management
methods Angela has been featured in the USA Today. She's
a syndicated in a Los Angeles Tribune newspaper and magazine
as a columnist, and has candless other media exposures. Angela
(05:32):
is a war winning international bestselling author with I'm Sure
They're over ten published books by now, and all three
of her books from the bell Santini Chronicles have won
Mom's Choice Awards, Gold Medal and the Golden Wizard Book
Prize recipient. In twenty twenty four, Angela even received the
(05:56):
White House Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, and in twenty twenty four,
Right are the Year? I mean twenty three? Right in
the year? From the Los Angeles Tribune. Today, we'll be
discussing embracing neurodiversity as a superpower. So let's welcome Angelaie,
the author of award winning Bella Santini Chronicles and hosts
(06:20):
and producer of Children's Lives Matter on three sixty TV
and un Filtered Parenting Show on the network VY.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
How are you my friend?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Oh? Good? Yeah, you've accomplishes, You've done a lot.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Thank you. And I do have to say that Children's
Lives Matter show was sunseted when I started Unfiltered Parenting,
but the episodes are still available on E three sixty TV,
and there are several episodes about neurodiversity. There's episodes about
body image, suicidal ideation, any emotional thing that a child
(07:03):
may face.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, and I was a guest on one of them.
You were Yeah, that was really an honor. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I'm so welcome, my friend.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah. So, you know, we're talking about nerd diversity today,
and so when you say nerdiversity is a superpower, can
you explain what that means, especially for parents who are
struggling to understand their children's differences.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yeah, so we all understand that neurodiversity is simply a
different way the brain is wired. Yes, and when the
brain is wired, well, each and every one of us
has slight differences in how our brain is wired. There
are auditory people, there are kinestic people, there are visual people,
(07:53):
and all those differences we accept as normal. But when
we look at neurodiversity, it's like, all of a sudden,
this just slightly different brain wiring is a label a problem.
And I imagine that many parents when they get a diagnosis,
they're like, oh my gosh, you know, my world is imploding.
(08:18):
How do I deal with this? How do I make
my kid feel successful and whole when he's carrying this label?
And I understand that it takes you know, you kind
of need the label to be able to navigate the
school system and all the medical system, all the different places.
(08:43):
But it's important for parents to really downplay the label
with the child and say, you know, hey, yeah, your
brain is a little bit different, but there are things
that you can do better than anyone else, and there
are things that are harder for you. And it's not
(09:04):
about the label. Basically, No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And the problem is, I think everybody has problems with labels.
But you know, when people see themselves as different and
I'm just saying people because they turn out to be adults, okay,
and children do too, they get very sensitive about it
and it just doesn't help help. And you know, you know,
adults and children can be really not exactly nice to
(09:33):
each other.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
They're judgmental and a mental thing.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, it's you know, they really I wish people wouldn't
judge any in all reality, but.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
That makes it was a beautiful world.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That'd be a beautiful world, right, Yeah, So that's not
really possible, but when it comes to children that have differences,
it's really important, like you said, to pay attention to
their super are their gifts, because you know some of
them are like excellent at math science and you know,
(10:07):
pattern recognition being able to you know, that's why the
tech industry is so good for autistic.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
And asperger children as they grow up going into that
because first off, they can work alone and that's helpful,
and secondly, their ability to focus, to recognize patterns, to
pick apart and rewire things in different ways that wouldn't
(10:43):
even occur to someone with my brain wiring. So it's like,
I just wish that the medical system could tell parents,
your child has this diagnosis and here are the gifts
and here are the challenges.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
But what they don't really understand that and I don't
think they really pay attention to that really. Yeah, and
that's what's unfortunate. And maybe things are different these days,
but you know, they pretty much they try to prepare
you as best it can, but they really don't know
the answers. I don't think in medical school they're told
(11:24):
to do X, Y and Z. It's kind of like
they only have four hours of nutrition to begin with.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Right, I know, and it's scary because.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Every day right, and these kiddos, you know, adults, they
just need the proper nutrition and there's some things out
there that I can offer for them so they can
you know, if they do have a focus problem, they
can focus better because some people do, and they're going
to be calmer and be able to ace those tests
(11:56):
and get you know, and excel.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
But my whole point is is that we need to
you know, treasure what they're really good at. And honestly,
when they're at it, until they start doing you know,
until second grade, you really don't know what their gifts are.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
And that's true. And it's like, you know, there there
are narratives children in in toddlerhood that are exhibiting behaviors,
you know, building these towers of not legos, but blocks,
and it's like, no one knows a child better than
(12:37):
the parent, yes, and no one has the interest of
the child the way the parent has. And what I
love about you as a parent is that you advocate
more the people in your life that need the advocacy.
(12:58):
And it's you know, if if a teacher your child
is in school and a teacher is just slapping a
label on and and you know, dismissing the child because
of that label. That's a time for the parent to
step up and say, my child is whole. My child
(13:20):
has gifts. Yes they do, and so instead of focusing
on the negative, let's look at the positives of this. Yes,
he may need more help with emotions, he may need
more help with functioning within society, but he has gifts,
(13:43):
and let's focus on those.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And that's really important. And honor, you know, honor what
they need in the classroom. Honor, you know, honor if
things are not going quite right, like in the playground,
you know, figure that out and keep the parents aform.
Honor them, and that that's how you support them.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Right. It's like if you have two children and one
is labeled normal and the other is labeled neurodiverse. Would
you deny the first child teaching in the classroom? Would
you deny them, you know, the normal things in life
just because of a little brit of brain wiring. You
(14:29):
may accept that the other child can't have that. And
that is the problem with the medical system because the
second child, the one with neurodiversity, is a whole person.
They have folks, dreams, and gifts and they have challenges.
(14:51):
We all have challenges, so let's stop separating them.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Yeah, exactly, And even there are typical children, you know,
these are planted starting at seven years old, depending on
what kind of environment they live in, how their parents reacted,
how they talked to them, And it's really important and
(15:18):
it's really not exactly easy being a parent. Sometimes I
don't really know what to say, you know, but unfortunately
these things get planted in their subconscious for their life
and something they need.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
And even if the parent doesn't plant that seed, the
circumstances might. You know, in my lifetime, I had a
raging father, and nobody told me to repress anger. But
I made the decision as a child to never be
(15:55):
like my father. So to me, that meant repress anger.
And so the child themselves can come up with a
rule for a living that isn't you know, perhaps based
on the behavior of the people and their family. But
nobody came out and told them to do that.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Well that's funny because that, you know, for me, it
was like, I don't want to be like my mother,
and nothing wrong with my mother, but she she was
more of a workaholic and so like social settings and
things like that. I didn't get to go to girl Scouts.
I went there for a couple of years and then
nothing happens, and I kind of went overboard with my son.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
He was in everything, something that often happens in parenting.
So I was denied this. I'm going to make sure
my son has it. And there's a question that needs
to be asked, is does my son want.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Well, yeah, I had to make choices. I mean it
got to the point where like baseball was not his
thing and he was in soccer for a while, and
it was like, you know, he had a choice, you know,
between soccer and music, and he went with the music,
so that thing, you know, but you know, it's like
(17:17):
all his friends are doing X, Y and Z, so
he wants to be like them. I think you have
it to go. It's just it's not for everybody. And
even these little steeds get planted by their friends too.
That's why people. Yeah, so that's really important to pay
attention to now when it comes I think we might
have covered some of these things, but we're gonna I'm
(17:38):
going to ask you anyways, when we hear about ADHD,
autism and also learning disabilities, we need to move beyond labels,
like you said, and we kind of gave some clues
about unique strengths and children. Let's say somebody really can't
figure it out. Is there some kind of I don't
(17:58):
know idea that you can some parents?
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Well, you know, we have the power of Google now,
so we can we can always google. You know, true,
my son is ADHD. What are the strengths associated with
that diagnosis? And so you know there's ADHD. People tend
(18:24):
to multitask better than neurotypical people, and so with every
diagnosis there's a strength and a challenge. Yes, And how
different is that from normal? You know, neurotypical. Don't we
have strengths and challenges?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yes, we do. We do, We definitely do. And some
of us are neurotypical do have some of these things
going on. You know, I have dyslexic. So if I
say things backwards because I'm not trying to talk like youa,
it just happens.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Well, yeah, and it's like, what, there's nothing to worry about.
It happens. It's not. One of the things that I
really want the teachers in this world to hear is
teach that mistakes.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Are learning experience.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Of an experience, and it's not the end of the
world if you got something wrong. And you know this
idea that I can't make a mistake, it's we're human.
Of course we make mistakes, all of us.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
The kids really, even probably neurotypical, when they well some
of them don't care, but some of them truly care.
It gets to them.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
And part of that is because they go to school
from kindergarten through twelfth grade or into college. Everything is graded.
They are supposed to perform in the way that they're taught,
not necessarily in the way that feels good for them.
And so you know, one of the stories that I
(20:09):
tell is when my husband, who was an engineer, when
he was in grade school, the teacher handed out a
math thing. He put the answers on the paper and
turned it in, and the teacher marked him with an
F not because the answers were wrong, but because he
didn't show the work. And he said, but I know,
(20:33):
I just know it had yes, yeah, yeah, And he
may be neurodiverse.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
You know, that's one of the gifts, right, Well, a
lot of engineers are that way, you know.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yeah, that's true, and go into those fields. Yeah, so
that is an example of a teacher who was very
narrowly focused not on the fact that the answers were right,
but on the fact that he didn't do it the
way she wanted to.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And if you think about that, the lack of communication
in her part.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
It is And further, there's more than one way to
forget from A to B.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
There is in the real world. Nobody expects people to
blindly follow a path set down by someone else. So
what is that teacher trying to teach?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah? And I got to say that it also depends
on where they are, where they originally live. Some of
these instructors and professors can be very strict about certain
things and it is the way they were brought up
in their society model.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
That's true. And that's why, you know, with adults with parents,
with teachers, I ask, where's your motivation for that?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
You know?
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Have you ever asked yourself why you're expecting that for
up my child?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah? I don't, you know. Unfortunately, as a way we
were brought up right, I mean, and sometimes.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
It doesn't make it right. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Maybe you looked at for sure, and and it'll start
with the school systems or even charter schools or even
a lot of parents are doing homeschooling. Now, yeah, and
with that homeschooling, they might find it easier. But the
thing is with this, I hate to get on the subject.
We are so tuned into just looking at the screen,
(22:33):
whether it's a TV screen or whether it's a phone screen,
or that we need to interface with people.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
We do. And it's one of the Children's Lives Matter episodes,
and they're all available on my website. You can just
go into the parenting column on you know, the parenting
web page on my website has links to every Children's
Lives Matter episode, including the one with Debbie in it.
(23:04):
We did a cell phone addiction show and it was
amazing watching these videos. This kid, these kids saying, oh,
I'm not addicted to my cell phone. But when there
was a set of seven questions asked, I was like,
can you walk out of a room without your phone? Yeah,
(23:25):
well you and I can. But Ken the kid and
it was like they would get something like ten points
out of seven, and they were they were all amazed
that they are addicted because they didn't think they were.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And you know, hat on that subject to but text
messaging just pick out the dar phone and talk to
someone so you can hear them emotional.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
There is something. Yeah, I bowed to my children and
started communicating with them only through text mostly, but every
time once in a while I'll call. But you know,
they're that age, so text is I understand I talk
to them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, it's just they are in a different world and
it's showing.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well, it's that's one of the things, you know, when
when we are trying to parent our kids and we're
using the techniques that our parents used. Think of the
world your parents grew up in. How different is it
from the world we're in. Those styles don't work. We
(24:41):
are in a whole new paradigm.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
And my parents grew up in the nineteen thirties, so
can you imagine, Yeah, exactly, our times and the world
you grew up in way different from the world your
son grew up in. Yeah, exactly exactly. But we need
to be able to interface emotionally and see what's going on.
That's my whole point.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
It's very true, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
And when it comes to emotions, how is a ner
Di virgen child's brain wiring different differently with the emotional
world and the emotional world and what can adults do
to support them more efficiently?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
So narratives. Children are much more sensitive to emotions, to
the energy of emotions, to the inputs of the world.
So rather than freaking out because your child is having
an emotional breakdown, it's better if you can say, I
(25:46):
get it. You must be feeling terrible right now. What
can I do? And it might be just sit with
me while I go through this. You know it's children
up until a certain age are not really equipped to
understand their emotions.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Yeah, And so when they're overwhelmed, emotionally overwhelmed, if you
try and stop them from doing that, you're giving them
a message that their emotions don't matter all right. True,
you're giving them a message that it's better to put
on a strong face and ignore how you're feeling. And
(26:33):
there is so much damage in the world done by
repressed emotions that I'm such an advocate for people go
ahead and face that feeling, allow it to flow. And
once you give that feeling permission to flow, it goes away.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, it dissipates over time. Yeah, it does go away.
Well because of recognizing it, and it just kind of.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Well, Debbie I didn't tell you about the whole process.
So the feel in free method focused attention on a feeling.
It works because your mind, when circling over the circumstances,
keeps bringing the feeling up over and over and over
(27:23):
and over again. When you switch your mind from the
circumstances to the feeling and you're focusing only on the feeling,
where is it in my body? How strong is it?
Is it jangled? Is it sharp? Is it in my neck?
Is it in my stomach? When you're putting that much
(27:44):
attention on the feeling, there's no room for you to
think about the circumstances. So once you give permission, you
say it's okay for me to feel this, the feeling
flows and within ninety seconds it's gone. It will reacht
when your mind thinks of the circumstances. Yes, so you
(28:05):
have to do the process over again, but over time
you will kind of train your mind away from the
circumstances into being self aware of what you're feeling.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It makes it easier to let go the circumstances over
time when you do that, because it gets less intense
over time.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
It does get less intense, absolutely, So I can talk
about you know the terrible things my former husband did,
and I have no emotional charge over it because I
have done the process. And the other side of that
is when you have emotional charge over circumstances, those are
(28:50):
emotional triggers. So something else happens and you blow up
because of this emotional trigger that hasn't yet been solved exactly. Yeah,
so knowing how I talk about it as knowing how
to ride the wave of the emotion without falling into
(29:12):
the rabbit hole of pain.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
That makes a lot of sense because people tend to
spiral down into that rabbit hole.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Yeah. I've been there, you know, in.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
A way, I have to emotions. That that's why we
need to, you know, manage them in some way and
work with them and reckon.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Yeah. And what I say, it's there are so many
people who will talk about managing emotions. I think we
need to allow our emotions and manage our thoughts.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
That too, because our thoughts are what's triggering it. M yes, yeah, yeah,
So that's some great ways that parents can try to
work with their children and just be patient.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Mm hmmm. Yes, absolutely, patience.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
Is and I do celebrate. Yeah, yeah, that's really important. Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
For that, because it's like how many parents celebrate. Hey,
you felt angry and you learned how to express it
in a way that didn't hurt anybody. That's really good,
you know.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you know, and life, you know,
even I don't think very fast in my toes. And
it's a learning it's a learning process for everybody, for
us and everybody. Yeah, and over time, as I get
holder and older, I'm giving wiser and wiser, so I
(30:54):
able to help more people that way. But that's the
whole point of life. You learn from situations and you
grow from them, and you know, you don't look at
it as a failure. You look at it as a
learning moment.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yes, part of the journey. Thomas Edison had to adjust
his experiments. I think it was nine thousand times to
come up with the light bulb. Right. If he saw
the first one as a failure, would he have gone further?
He saw it as a journey. Okay, now I know
(31:28):
that this one wire doesn't work, Let's try the next one.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Very true, Very true. Now I know that your show
people can look at your past episodes for Children's Lives Matter,
and you've highlighted some things you've talked about. One thing
that you have said in the past is that people
really need to highlight the children and set it out
(31:53):
and how can this perspective help us embrace neurodiverse kids
with compassion and curiosity.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
I love that compassion and curiosity. It's you know, having
the curiosity. Ask your child, what are you feeling right now?
What are you experiencing right now? Because we have really
no idea what it's like to be expelled. I know
(32:21):
that for me, when I'm around very loud music sometimes
it feels very assaultive to me, and it can be
turned down quite a bit but still be assaultive to
a neurodiverse kid. It's important for the parents to understand,
(32:43):
you know, what are the challenges my child experiences. How
can I ease that child through this experience? Yes, and
you know it may be a quiet room in your
house that is just for that child. It may be
but Wayne headset. Yeah. There there are so many ways
(33:09):
that a parent can support a narrativerse child. And it's
you know, use the internet to your benefit.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
And you know, we don't want to fix these children
the best the way they are, but we want to
make them better.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
And we want to. It's not that we want to
make them better. We want to give them the environment
where they can thrive.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yes, because everybody's brain is multiple and so as there
that's true.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, so that's something to think about and honor because
you want people to honor you, to honor them.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, that's really important. The respecting someone for what they bring,
whether it's something you understand or not. Don't we all
deserve that kind of respect.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Yes, we do. We do, definitely. That's why I don't
like it when people judge, because that's not very respectful that,
you know. And we shouldn't be so harsh on ourselves either, because.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah, there's like the outside influences, you know, the parents,
the teachers, that the other children in the class, the
religious leaders, all of these outside influences that try and
put you into a box. Well, at the same time,
(34:41):
your mind is an inside influence trying to put you
in the same box, the one you don't want.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
To be in exactly. And I've had people try to
do that to me, so it's kind of like, well
that's how I feel.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, thank you for.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Yeah, you know, it's and they need to honor that,
they need to honor everybody, everybody, you.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Know, so all of us, Yeah, we all need to.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
We will need to. Well, why don't we talk about
your offer today and we'll have more time you know,
later on a chit chat.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Okay, So, my book Bella Santini in the Land of
Everlasting Chain is not currently available for sale because it's
moving to a new publisher, but it will probably be
out in a couple of weeks. But in the meantime,
if you want to explore the book, you can download
the first two chapters. It's free on my website. You
(35:43):
put your email in and boom, you get the chapters.
It's the books really are teaching a new way to
look at emotions, and it's understanding that emotions are energy
and the energy needs to flow.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Yes, when we.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Do emotional repression. The generation before us mostly taught emotional repression.
And it's either I'm going to escape through alcohol or
drugs or some other way, or I'm going to suppress
and I'm just going to put on a happy face
and forget that I feel that way.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
And never say anything.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
So you don't never Yeah, and we are we're never
going to talk about this right that. So the psychological
studies done by doctor Alice Miller on the longitudinal effects
of repressed emotions. She took a bunch of traumatized children
(36:48):
and studied them for I think fifty years her. What
she came up with is that emotions don't repress. They
never do. They will either go into the body and
cause physical problems.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Yes they do, or they will explode outward.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
And we've all seen trigger happy people easily offended trigger
happy people. Those people are billing those repressed emotions outward.
So isn't it better just to face that feeling so
you don't do that?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Yes, it is, It definitely is. And your books have
of tools and techniques to help parents and children, even adults.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
I would say ninety percent of the reviews, the five
star reviews on my book are from adults over forty like,
oh yeah, I learned something from.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
This exactly, exactly, And you can get it at our website,
Angela The Last Notes of l egh dot Com four
such books, and you scroll down and you can can
download these chapters and you just enter your information to
do that.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So yeah, and if you want to actually buy the book,
you can go onto the books page and enter your
information to be on the wait list to receive that.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Yeah, there's a weightless on there, that's right, right, Yeah,
and she has you know, she has you know, others
as well, so they're really I've you know, I've skimmed
through one of them really fast, and I just love
them almost like a female Harry Potter.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
But anyway, they have been compared to Harry Potter.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Yeah, so thank you for being a guest on my show,
and I will have you back, thank you Unfiltered Parenting
Show a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Please stick around for closing remarks. Okay, I will, all right,
So remember I do revilize people's lives in many different
areas of health, the mindset. I do help you with
your gut and other health conditions. And remember I can
help people who have anxiety and other things going on
our life that might be part of that autistic spectrum
(39:11):
with products and eating better because I you know, I
know challenge in eating kids. So anyways, what I want
to say is I can come up with something for you.
I guide you through clean toxic refusee and high quality
essential nutrient products that will reduce symptoms, they'll feel better
and POSSI weight gain weight if they need to, or
(39:32):
lose weight if they need to, and you know it's
going to up with the moods and with my mindset coaching,
I do help people release their stress, emotions and tangments
from the past because I do help them with their
mindset and enhancing that mindset, so the mindset could be
more enhanced. Now with the health optimization and weight release,
(39:53):
their body is more efficient. That's the mind body solution
that makes your heart and soul saying, which is really
important with what we were talking about because your emotions
do affect your physical health as well and mental health.
You can ask me about my programs on my complimentary
consultation button at debt Changes Lines which is d E
(40:13):
B I C H A n G E S l
I V S and Victory E S dot com or
slash link tree l I n K t r E
and there you get to know me. I get to
know you, and I can guide you to your optimum health.
And it begins with one or two health assessments. The
health evaluation is actually complementary where you rate your symptoms
in the last thirty days and four categories of health.
(40:35):
Parents would do it for their children and you will
get a baseline score. I would review it with the
parent and the child if that's the case, and when
you move forward life services, I'll create that customatial strategy
for the individual and will monitor us on a monthly basis.
Now I also have two different bodies ZETO scants, and
(40:58):
what I love about that is I love the slide
of the zero link because I can actually send it
remotely internationally and I've sent it to Australia and South Africa.
And the zero link is a transdermal optical imaging gap
that you It will scan your face if you're only
looking three of the scan for blood flow, for components
of emotional, functional and also energetic, and that emotional component
(41:21):
is a hidden gem. And it creates a wellness report,
not a diagnosis. It's looking at the body systems and
as well as your diet and it's going to show
you wellness points out of range and wellness points back
into range with bodies or services. And I do review
it with you because this this scan is quite intensive.
(41:44):
A COSS seventy five dollars. If you be for with
a programmer product, I give you a twenty five dollars
discount on one of them, and I also have a
family pack where you can save fifty dollars a set
of five. Zero Link is a trans is that transdermal
optical imaging app that that is also known as TI
and you can look at how health accurate it is
(42:05):
at PubMed dot gap as PU b M D dot
do be and people are really amazed what the body
tells them and you'll be two. So give it a
shot if you're curious and see what it's all about.
I do have my programs Take your Body Back as
a twelve week great release mindset coaching program where you're
going to use a new version of you to drive
your success. All coaching is done on Zoom, and the
(42:28):
first one is private to you because I am a
sertif I hip a complient petitioner and everything regarding health
is private. I give a choice between you two meal
plans and instructions. On one, I give you instructions how
to create that new version of you on an avatar board.
They'll drive you with emotion and passion to achieve your
health and weight transmission goals. The rest of the coaching,
whether it's a group or private, is the same. We'll
(42:49):
be celebrating with we will be gunning you with boards
and I will also give you tips on health and
miset tips. So you can ask me questions about this
program or watch my previous episolus self love and regarding
this program. Just remember prices then has gone up. Why
fast is then ms pacity program that gets yourselves and
body humming and and helps you with your metabolism. There's
(43:12):
programs for recipes as well as exercise. There's good nutrition
and supplements. You could use my coaching for this if
you want. There's a two or four week program. And
also you can use these smaller programs for miset coaching
as well health utilization. But the larcier program policy saving
money back and great custom programs. Now, this next section
(43:35):
it's limited. It's for a limited time, which is w's
coaching chats. I don't have time to go into this,
but these meetings are on Tuesdays at four pm Pacific
seven pm EASTERO and you go to Debbie's changes Lives
dot com for slash chests to find out what my
coaching is all about. Then I also give you if
you subscribe to my newsletter, I give you a gift
(43:55):
and that's at w changes Lives dot com for Slash
Radio TV show, And that's a thirty day help on
I set daily action journal that will track your gratitude,
your feelings and emotions, as well as food as water
helping us and exercise. You've done a daily basis. I'm
running out of time, so you can check this lide
for more information or call me content maybeguarding it and
(44:19):
do we have some time for ANGELAA come back?
Speaker 4 (44:22):
Hello my friend again, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Run out of times, but anyways, that's okay. So do
you have any closing numberbox you want to say?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Just when I come on a podcast or a radio show,
often people have never heard of the kind of things
I talk about, and so I always want to say,
please give yourself grace. You may not have heard about
this before and it's brand new. There's lots of support
(44:55):
on my website for parents for teachers, but give your
self grace because our parents did not teach us about emotions.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Good end. So reach out for Angela for her offer
and her books, reach out to me for my service
products and programs. We both are a little bit different
in a way from the norm, So just venture and
try something new because It's always possibility, so continue to
enjoy my radio and TV show. Debut changes lives on
(45:26):
Thursdays at three pm Pacific six pm Eastern. Read Your
Holistic Journey Begins
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome to my radio and TV show, Debute Chances Lives.
I'm Debbie, you Surfy Helissa cauth coach. I violize people's
lives by happing them, identify at the root causes of
the health and miset issues, and create a customed, natural
antic strategy to address them in the areas of mind, body,
and soul. As a health coach, I'm not a gown
to say that I heal, tree, heure, prevent or diagnose
(01:13):
any diseases. I could certainly make your body more efficient
by reducing symptoms. You'll feel better, be reductive, and enjoy
life more. Not many people have released seventy pounds had
a health and mindset transformation and kept fitting triune for
over a decade. I have and I have stay in power.
It's been over eleven years. I even became a half
(01:34):
marathon runner at the age of fifty one when I
never ran from childhood pain and I have done eight
half marathons so far. Mind set is a key to
lasting change. As a certified to the List of health coach,
I do revialize people's lives in many different areas of
health and mindset. I guide them to clean toxic refuse
(01:55):
and high quality essential nutrients. My coach is for optimizing
your health, releasing way and enhancing your mindset. With my clients,
I help them recognize that their thoughts, feelings, and emotions
drive their actions down results sometimes good, sometimes bad. That's
why it's crucial to have a positive mindset in life.
It's also imperative to manage your emotions, to release those
(02:17):
low vibracial emotions such as fear, frustration, and doubt, because
all they're going to do is slow you down and
get you stuck physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Black a
hot air balloon that has balances. I help my clients
release those emotional balances and baggage to get uplift to
a better, healthier, healthier life. And in turn, they are
(02:38):
releasing their stress, they're getting healthier, and they're beginning to
shape their core beliefs. You will see and feel the
differences with my coaching programs. Ask me about them that
have a complimentary consultation at Debuts's Lives d E b
I d h A n t E S l ivs
and victory ees dot com or such link tree l
(03:00):
I n K t R e E, and I will
guide you to that better, healthier, healthier life with custom
solutions unique to you in the areas of mind, body
and soul. And are you aware that many people are
neudiversion and you know some of them you can't even tell,
and that's almost like their own superpower. Unfortunately, the medical
(03:22):
system gives everyone and them labels, you know, for services
and for medical reasons, and I personally don't like labels
because it gets people stuck. They get they get a
chip on their shoulder. Now, with neurodivers people their brains
work differently, and everyone's brain does work differently because they
(03:45):
have a different experience that's growing up and so it's
important to embrace our differences, as Richard Bruce's indicates neurodiversion.
People excel in areas such as logic, technology, skills, the
solving at her recognition, precision, subtain concentration, analysis, and other
(04:06):
cognitive functions. Some of them have very high IQs and
are change makers in our society and so they do.
Include Richard Branson and Elon Musk. Others are thought to
be like Albert Einstein and possibly Bill Gates. Today, I'm
honored to half back Angela Lee on my show. She's
(04:28):
the author of The Bella Santina Chronicles, producer and hosts
of Unfiltered Parenting show on BEINGE Network and also Children's
Lives Matters Are Thriving Women Network. Angela is best known
for being the author of a children's fantasy book, The
(04:48):
Bella Santini Chronicles, where she gives parents and children tools
and techniques for emotional balance. Her theme illustrates a uniqueness
of her heroine and how she withstands belovment and bulling.
For over fifty years, Angela has experienced abuse, bullying, and
(05:10):
belitvament as. Through this exposure, she has developed emotional management
methods Angela has been featured in the USA Today. She's
a syndicated in a Los Angeles Tribune newspaper and magazine
as a columnist, and has candless other media exposures. Angela
(05:32):
is a war winning international bestselling author with I'm Sure
They're over ten published books by now, and all three
of her books from the bell Santini Chronicles have won
Mom's Choice Awards, Gold Medal and the Golden Wizard Book
Prize recipient. In twenty twenty four, Angela even received the
(05:56):
White House Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, and in twenty twenty four,
Right are the Year? I mean twenty three? Right in
the year? From the Los Angeles Tribune. Today, we'll be
discussing embracing neurodiversity as a superpower. So let's welcome Angelaie,
the author of award winning Bella Santini Chronicles and hosts
(06:20):
and producer of Children's Lives Matter on three sixty TV
and un Filtered Parenting Show on the network VY.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
How are you my friend?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Oh? Good? Yeah, you've accomplishes, You've done a lot.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Thank you. And I do have to say that Children's
Lives Matter show was sunseted when I started Unfiltered Parenting,
but the episodes are still available on E three sixty TV,
and there are several episodes about neurodiversity. There's episodes about
body image, suicidal ideation, any emotional thing that a child
(07:03):
may face.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, and I was a guest on one of them.
You were Yeah, that was really an honor. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I'm so welcome, my friend.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah. So, you know, we're talking about nerd diversity today,
and so when you say nerdiversity is a superpower, can
you explain what that means, especially for parents who are
struggling to understand their children's differences.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yeah, so we all understand that neurodiversity is simply a
different way the brain is wired. Yes, and when the
brain is wired, well, each and every one of us
has slight differences in how our brain is wired. There
are auditory people, there are kinestic people, there are visual people,
(07:53):
and all those differences we accept as normal. But when
we look at neurodiversity, it's like, all of a sudden,
this just slightly different brain wiring is a label a problem.
And I imagine that many parents when they get a diagnosis,
they're like, oh my gosh, you know, my world is imploding.
(08:18):
How do I deal with this? How do I make
my kid feel successful and whole when he's carrying this label?
And I understand that it takes you know, you kind
of need the label to be able to navigate the
school system and all the medical system, all the different places.
(08:43):
But it's important for parents to really downplay the label
with the child and say, you know, hey, yeah, your
brain is a little bit different, but there are things
that you can do better than anyone else, and there
are things that are harder for you. And it's not
(09:04):
about the label. Basically, No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
And the problem is, I think everybody has problems with labels.
But you know, when people see themselves as different and
I'm just saying people because they turn out to be adults, okay,
and children do too, they get very sensitive about it
and it just doesn't help help. And you know, you know,
adults and children can be really not exactly nice to
(09:33):
each other.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
They're judgmental and a mental thing.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, it's you know, they really I wish people wouldn't
judge any in all reality, but.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
That makes it was a beautiful world.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That'd be a beautiful world, right, Yeah, So that's not
really possible, but when it comes to children that have differences,
it's really important, like you said, to pay attention to
their super are their gifts, because you know some of
them are like excellent at math science and you know,
(10:07):
pattern recognition being able to you know, that's why the
tech industry is so good for autistic.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
And asperger children as they grow up going into that
because first off, they can work alone and that's helpful,
and secondly, their ability to focus, to recognize patterns, to
pick apart and rewire things in different ways that wouldn't
(10:43):
even occur to someone with my brain wiring. So it's like,
I just wish that the medical system could tell parents,
your child has this diagnosis and here are the gifts
and here are the challenges.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
But what they don't really understand that and I don't
think they really pay attention to that really. Yeah, and
that's what's unfortunate. And maybe things are different these days,
but you know, they pretty much they try to prepare
you as best it can, but they really don't know
the answers. I don't think in medical school they're told
(11:24):
to do X, Y and Z. It's kind of like
they only have four hours of nutrition to begin with.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Right, I know, and it's scary because.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Every day right, and these kiddos, you know, adults, they
just need the proper nutrition and there's some things out
there that I can offer for them so they can
you know, if they do have a focus problem, they
can focus better because some people do, and they're going
to be calmer and be able to ace those tests
(11:56):
and get you know, and excel.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
But my whole point is is that we need to
you know, treasure what they're really good at. And honestly,
when they're at it, until they start doing you know,
until second grade, you really don't know what their gifts are.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
And that's true. And it's like, you know, there there
are narratives children in in toddlerhood that are exhibiting behaviors,
you know, building these towers of not legos, but blocks,
and it's like, no one knows a child better than
(12:37):
the parent, yes, and no one has the interest of
the child the way the parent has. And what I
love about you as a parent is that you advocate
more the people in your life that need the advocacy.
(12:58):
And it's you know, if if a teacher your child
is in school and a teacher is just slapping a
label on and and you know, dismissing the child because
of that label. That's a time for the parent to
step up and say, my child is whole. My child
(13:20):
has gifts. Yes they do, and so instead of focusing
on the negative, let's look at the positives of this. Yes,
he may need more help with emotions, he may need
more help with functioning within society, but he has gifts,
(13:43):
and let's focus on those.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And that's really important. And honor, you know, honor what
they need in the classroom. Honor, you know, honor if
things are not going quite right, like in the playground,
you know, figure that out and keep the parents aform.
Honor them, and that that's how you support them.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Right. It's like if you have two children and one
is labeled normal and the other is labeled neurodiverse. Would
you deny the first child teaching in the classroom? Would
you deny them, you know, the normal things in life
just because of a little brit of brain wiring. You
(14:29):
may accept that the other child can't have that. And
that is the problem with the medical system because the
second child, the one with neurodiversity, is a whole person.
They have folks, dreams, and gifts and they have challenges.
(14:51):
We all have challenges, so let's stop separating them.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Yeah, exactly, And even there are typical children, you know,
these are planted starting at seven years old, depending on
what kind of environment they live in, how their parents reacted,
how they talked to them, And it's really important and
(15:18):
it's really not exactly easy being a parent. Sometimes I
don't really know what to say, you know, but unfortunately
these things get planted in their subconscious for their life
and something they need.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
And even if the parent doesn't plant that seed, the
circumstances might. You know, in my lifetime, I had a
raging father, and nobody told me to repress anger. But
I made the decision as a child to never be
(15:55):
like my father. So to me, that meant repress anger.
And so the child themselves can come up with a
rule for a living that isn't you know, perhaps based
on the behavior of the people and their family. But
nobody came out and told them to do that.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Well that's funny because that, you know, for me, it
was like, I don't want to be like my mother,
and nothing wrong with my mother, but she she was
more of a workaholic and so like social settings and
things like that. I didn't get to go to girl Scouts.
I went there for a couple of years and then
nothing happens, and I kind of went overboard with my son.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
He was in everything, something that often happens in parenting.
So I was denied this. I'm going to make sure
my son has it. And there's a question that needs
to be asked, is does my son want.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Well, yeah, I had to make choices. I mean it
got to the point where like baseball was not his
thing and he was in soccer for a while, and
it was like, you know, he had a choice, you know,
between soccer and music, and he went with the music,
so that thing, you know, but you know, it's like
(17:17):
all his friends are doing X, Y and Z, so
he wants to be like them. I think you have
it to go. It's just it's not for everybody. And
even these little steeds get planted by their friends too.
That's why people. Yeah, so that's really important to pay
attention to now when it comes I think we might
have covered some of these things, but we're gonna I'm
(17:38):
going to ask you anyways, when we hear about ADHD,
autism and also learning disabilities, we need to move beyond labels,
like you said, and we kind of gave some clues
about unique strengths and children. Let's say somebody really can't
figure it out. Is there some kind of I don't
(17:58):
know idea that you can some parents?
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Well, you know, we have the power of Google now,
so we can we can always google. You know, true,
my son is ADHD. What are the strengths associated with
that diagnosis? And so you know there's ADHD. People tend
(18:24):
to multitask better than neurotypical people, and so with every
diagnosis there's a strength and a challenge. Yes, And how
different is that from normal? You know, neurotypical. Don't we
have strengths and challenges?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yes, we do. We do, We definitely do. And some
of us are neurotypical do have some of these things
going on. You know, I have dyslexic. So if I
say things backwards because I'm not trying to talk like youa,
it just happens.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Well, yeah, and it's like, what, there's nothing to worry about.
It happens. It's not. One of the things that I
really want the teachers in this world to hear is
teach that mistakes.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Are learning experience.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Of an experience, and it's not the end of the
world if you got something wrong. And you know this
idea that I can't make a mistake, it's we're human.
Of course we make mistakes, all of us.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
The kids really, even probably neurotypical, when they well some
of them don't care, but some of them truly care.
It gets to them.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
And part of that is because they go to school
from kindergarten through twelfth grade or into college. Everything is graded.
They are supposed to perform in the way that they're taught,
not necessarily in the way that feels good for them.
And so you know, one of the stories that I
(20:09):
tell is when my husband, who was an engineer, when
he was in grade school, the teacher handed out a
math thing. He put the answers on the paper and
turned it in, and the teacher marked him with an
F not because the answers were wrong, but because he
didn't show the work. And he said, but I know,
(20:33):
I just know it had yes, yeah, yeah, And he
may be neurodiverse.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
You know, that's one of the gifts, right, Well, a
lot of engineers are that way, you know.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yeah, that's true, and go into those fields. Yeah, so
that is an example of a teacher who was very
narrowly focused not on the fact that the answers were right,
but on the fact that he didn't do it the
way she wanted to.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And if you think about that, the lack of communication
in her part.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
It is And further, there's more than one way to
forget from A to B.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
There is in the real world. Nobody expects people to
blindly follow a path set down by someone else. So
what is that teacher trying to teach?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah? And I got to say that it also depends
on where they are, where they originally live. Some of
these instructors and professors can be very strict about certain
things and it is the way they were brought up
in their society model.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
That's true. And that's why, you know, with adults with parents,
with teachers, I ask, where's your motivation for that?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
You know?
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Have you ever asked yourself why you're expecting that for
up my child?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah? I don't, you know. Unfortunately, as a way we
were brought up right, I mean, and sometimes.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
It doesn't make it right. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Maybe you looked at for sure, and and it'll start
with the school systems or even charter schools or even
a lot of parents are doing homeschooling. Now, yeah, and
with that homeschooling, they might find it easier. But the
thing is with this, I hate to get on the subject.
We are so tuned into just looking at the screen,
(22:33):
whether it's a TV screen or whether it's a phone screen,
or that we need to interface with people.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
We do. And it's one of the Children's Lives Matter episodes,
and they're all available on my website. You can just
go into the parenting column on you know, the parenting
web page on my website has links to every Children's
Lives Matter episode, including the one with Debbie in it.
(23:04):
We did a cell phone addiction show and it was
amazing watching these videos. This kid, these kids saying, oh,
I'm not addicted to my cell phone. But when there
was a set of seven questions asked, I was like,
can you walk out of a room without your phone? Yeah,
(23:25):
well you and I can. But Ken the kid and
it was like they would get something like ten points
out of seven, and they were they were all amazed
that they are addicted because they didn't think they were.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And you know, hat on that subject to but text
messaging just pick out the dar phone and talk to
someone so you can hear them emotional.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
There is something. Yeah, I bowed to my children and
started communicating with them only through text mostly, but every
time once in a while I'll call. But you know,
they're that age, so text is I understand I talk
to them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, it's just they are in a different world and
it's showing.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well, it's that's one of the things, you know, when
when we are trying to parent our kids and we're
using the techniques that our parents used. Think of the
world your parents grew up in. How different is it
from the world we're in. Those styles don't work. We
(24:41):
are in a whole new paradigm.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
And my parents grew up in the nineteen thirties, so
can you imagine, Yeah, exactly, our times and the world
you grew up in way different from the world your
son grew up in. Yeah, exactly exactly. But we need
to be able to interface emotionally and see what's going on.
That's my whole point.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
It's very true, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
And when it comes to emotions, how is a ner
Di virgen child's brain wiring different differently with the emotional
world and the emotional world and what can adults do
to support them more efficiently?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
So narratives. Children are much more sensitive to emotions, to
the energy of emotions, to the inputs of the world.
So rather than freaking out because your child is having
an emotional breakdown, it's better if you can say, I
(25:46):
get it. You must be feeling terrible right now. What
can I do? And it might be just sit with
me while I go through this. You know it's children
up until a certain age are not really equipped to
understand their emotions.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Yeah, And so when they're overwhelmed, emotionally overwhelmed, if you
try and stop them from doing that, you're giving them
a message that their emotions don't matter all right. True,
you're giving them a message that it's better to put
on a strong face and ignore how you're feeling. And
(26:33):
there is so much damage in the world done by
repressed emotions that I'm such an advocate for people go
ahead and face that feeling, allow it to flow. And
once you give that feeling permission to flow, it goes away.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, it dissipates over time. Yeah, it does go away.
Well because of recognizing it, and it just kind of.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Well, Debbie I didn't tell you about the whole process.
So the feel in free method focused attention on a feeling.
It works because your mind, when circling over the circumstances,
keeps bringing the feeling up over and over and over
(27:23):
and over again. When you switch your mind from the
circumstances to the feeling and you're focusing only on the feeling,
where is it in my body? How strong is it?
Is it jangled? Is it sharp? Is it in my neck?
Is it in my stomach? When you're putting that much
(27:44):
attention on the feeling, there's no room for you to
think about the circumstances. So once you give permission, you
say it's okay for me to feel this, the feeling
flows and within ninety seconds it's gone. It will reacht
when your mind thinks of the circumstances. Yes, so you
(28:05):
have to do the process over again, but over time
you will kind of train your mind away from the
circumstances into being self aware of what you're feeling.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It makes it easier to let go the circumstances over
time when you do that, because it gets less intense
over time.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
It does get less intense, absolutely, So I can talk
about you know the terrible things my former husband did,
and I have no emotional charge over it because I
have done the process. And the other side of that
is when you have emotional charge over circumstances, those are
(28:50):
emotional triggers. So something else happens and you blow up
because of this emotional trigger that hasn't yet been solved exactly. Yeah,
so knowing how I talk about it as knowing how
to ride the wave of the emotion without falling into
(29:12):
the rabbit hole of pain.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
That makes a lot of sense because people tend to
spiral down into that rabbit hole.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Yeah. I've been there, you know, in.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
A way, I have to emotions. That that's why we
need to, you know, manage them in some way and
work with them and reckon.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Yeah. And what I say, it's there are so many
people who will talk about managing emotions. I think we
need to allow our emotions and manage our thoughts.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
That too, because our thoughts are what's triggering it. M yes, yeah, yeah,
So that's some great ways that parents can try to
work with their children and just be patient.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Mm hmmm. Yes, absolutely, patience.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
Is and I do celebrate. Yeah, yeah, that's really important. Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
For that, because it's like how many parents celebrate. Hey,
you felt angry and you learned how to express it
in a way that didn't hurt anybody. That's really good,
you know.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you know, and life, you know,
even I don't think very fast in my toes. And
it's a learning it's a learning process for everybody, for
us and everybody. Yeah, and over time, as I get
holder and older, I'm giving wiser and wiser, so I
(30:54):
able to help more people that way. But that's the
whole point of life. You learn from situations and you
grow from them, and you know, you don't look at
it as a failure. You look at it as a
learning moment.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yes, part of the journey. Thomas Edison had to adjust
his experiments. I think it was nine thousand times to
come up with the light bulb. Right. If he saw
the first one as a failure, would he have gone further?
He saw it as a journey. Okay, now I know
(31:28):
that this one wire doesn't work, Let's try the next one.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Very true, Very true. Now I know that your show
people can look at your past episodes for Children's Lives Matter,
and you've highlighted some things you've talked about. One thing
that you have said in the past is that people
really need to highlight the children and set it out
(31:53):
and how can this perspective help us embrace neurodiverse kids
with compassion and curiosity.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
I love that compassion and curiosity. It's you know, having
the curiosity. Ask your child, what are you feeling right now?
What are you experiencing right now? Because we have really
no idea what it's like to be expelled. I know
(32:21):
that for me, when I'm around very loud music sometimes
it feels very assaultive to me, and it can be
turned down quite a bit but still be assaultive to
a neurodiverse kid. It's important for the parents to understand,
(32:43):
you know, what are the challenges my child experiences. How
can I ease that child through this experience? Yes, and
you know it may be a quiet room in your
house that is just for that child. It may be
but Wayne headset. Yeah. There there are so many ways
(33:09):
that a parent can support a narrativerse child. And it's
you know, use the internet to your benefit.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
And you know, we don't want to fix these children
the best the way they are, but we want to
make them better.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
And we want to. It's not that we want to
make them better. We want to give them the environment
where they can thrive.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yes, because everybody's brain is multiple and so as there
that's true.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, so that's something to think about and honor because
you want people to honor you, to honor them.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, that's really important. The respecting someone for what they bring,
whether it's something you understand or not. Don't we all
deserve that kind of respect.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Yes, we do. We do, definitely. That's why I don't
like it when people judge, because that's not very respectful that,
you know. And we shouldn't be so harsh on ourselves either, because.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah, there's like the outside influences, you know, the parents,
the teachers, that the other children in the class, the
religious leaders, all of these outside influences that try and
put you into a box. Well, at the same time,
(34:41):
your mind is an inside influence trying to put you
in the same box, the one you don't want.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
To be in exactly. And I've had people try to
do that to me, so it's kind of like, well
that's how I feel.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, thank you for.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Yeah, you know, it's and they need to honor that,
they need to honor everybody, everybody, you.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Know, so all of us, Yeah, we all need to.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
We will need to. Well, why don't we talk about
your offer today and we'll have more time you know,
later on a chit chat.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Okay, So, my book Bella Santini in the Land of
Everlasting Chain is not currently available for sale because it's
moving to a new publisher, but it will probably be
out in a couple of weeks. But in the meantime,
if you want to explore the book, you can download
the first two chapters. It's free on my website. You
(35:43):
put your email in and boom, you get the chapters.
It's the books really are teaching a new way to
look at emotions, and it's understanding that emotions are energy
and the energy needs to flow.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Yes, when we.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Do emotional repression. The generation before us mostly taught emotional repression.
And it's either I'm going to escape through alcohol or
drugs or some other way, or I'm going to suppress
and I'm just going to put on a happy face
and forget that I feel that way.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
And never say anything.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
So you don't never Yeah, and we are we're never
going to talk about this right that. So the psychological
studies done by doctor Alice Miller on the longitudinal effects
of repressed emotions. She took a bunch of traumatized children
(36:48):
and studied them for I think fifty years her. What
she came up with is that emotions don't repress. They
never do. They will either go into the body and
cause physical problems.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Yes they do, or they will explode outward.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
And we've all seen trigger happy people easily offended trigger
happy people. Those people are billing those repressed emotions outward.
So isn't it better just to face that feeling so
you don't do that?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Yes, it is, It definitely is. And your books have
of tools and techniques to help parents and children, even adults.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
I would say ninety percent of the reviews, the five
star reviews on my book are from adults over forty like,
oh yeah, I learned something from.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
This exactly, exactly, And you can get it at our website,
Angela The Last Notes of l egh dot Com four
such books, and you scroll down and you can can
download these chapters and you just enter your information to
do that.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So yeah, and if you want to actually buy the book,
you can go onto the books page and enter your
information to be on the wait list to receive that.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Yeah, there's a weightless on there, that's right, right, Yeah,
and she has you know, she has you know, others
as well, so they're really I've you know, I've skimmed
through one of them really fast, and I just love
them almost like a female Harry Potter.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
But anyway, they have been compared to Harry Potter.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Yeah, so thank you for being a guest on my show,
and I will have you back, thank you Unfiltered Parenting
Show a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Please stick around for closing remarks. Okay, I will, all right,
So remember I do revilize people's lives in many different
areas of health, the mindset. I do help you with
your gut and other health conditions. And remember I can
help people who have anxiety and other things going on
our life that might be part of that autistic spectrum
(39:11):
with products and eating better because I you know, I
know challenge in eating kids. So anyways, what I want
to say is I can come up with something for you.
I guide you through clean toxic refusee and high quality
essential nutrient products that will reduce symptoms, they'll feel better
and POSSI weight gain weight if they need to, or
(39:32):
lose weight if they need to, and you know it's
going to up with the moods and with my mindset coaching,
I do help people release their stress, emotions and tangments
from the past because I do help them with their
mindset and enhancing that mindset, so the mindset could be
more enhanced. Now with the health optimization and weight release,
(39:53):
their body is more efficient. That's the mind body solution
that makes your heart and soul saying, which is really
important with what we were talking about because your emotions
do affect your physical health as well and mental health.
You can ask me about my programs on my complimentary
consultation button at debt Changes Lines which is d E
(40:13):
B I C H A n G E S l
I V S and Victory E S dot com or
slash link tree l I n K t r E
and there you get to know me. I get to
know you, and I can guide you to your optimum health.
And it begins with one or two health assessments. The
health evaluation is actually complementary where you rate your symptoms
in the last thirty days and four categories of health.
(40:35):
Parents would do it for their children and you will
get a baseline score. I would review it with the
parent and the child if that's the case, and when
you move forward life services, I'll create that customatial strategy
for the individual and will monitor us on a monthly basis.
Now I also have two different bodies ZETO scants, and
(40:58):
what I love about that is I love the slide
of the zero link because I can actually send it
remotely internationally and I've sent it to Australia and South Africa.
And the zero link is a transdermal optical imaging gap
that you It will scan your face if you're only
looking three of the scan for blood flow, for components
of emotional, functional and also energetic, and that emotional component
(41:21):
is a hidden gem. And it creates a wellness report,
not a diagnosis. It's looking at the body systems and
as well as your diet and it's going to show
you wellness points out of range and wellness points back
into range with bodies or services. And I do review
it with you because this this scan is quite intensive.
(41:44):
A COSS seventy five dollars. If you be for with
a programmer product, I give you a twenty five dollars
discount on one of them, and I also have a
family pack where you can save fifty dollars a set
of five. Zero Link is a trans is that transdermal
optical imaging app that that is also known as TI
and you can look at how health accurate it is
(42:05):
at PubMed dot gap as PU b M D dot
do be and people are really amazed what the body
tells them and you'll be two. So give it a
shot if you're curious and see what it's all about.
I do have my programs Take your Body Back as
a twelve week great release mindset coaching program where you're
going to use a new version of you to drive
your success. All coaching is done on Zoom, and the
(42:28):
first one is private to you because I am a
sertif I hip a complient petitioner and everything regarding health
is private. I give a choice between you two meal
plans and instructions. On one, I give you instructions how
to create that new version of you on an avatar board.
They'll drive you with emotion and passion to achieve your
health and weight transmission goals. The rest of the coaching,
whether it's a group or private, is the same. We'll
(42:49):
be celebrating with we will be gunning you with boards
and I will also give you tips on health and
miset tips. So you can ask me questions about this
program or watch my previous episolus self love and regarding
this program. Just remember prices then has gone up. Why
fast is then ms pacity program that gets yourselves and
body humming and and helps you with your metabolism. There's
(43:12):
programs for recipes as well as exercise. There's good nutrition
and supplements. You could use my coaching for this if
you want. There's a two or four week program. And
also you can use these smaller programs for miset coaching
as well health utilization. But the larcier program policy saving
money back and great custom programs. Now, this next section
(43:35):
it's limited. It's for a limited time, which is w's
coaching chats. I don't have time to go into this,
but these meetings are on Tuesdays at four pm Pacific
seven pm EASTERO and you go to Debbie's changes Lives
dot com for slash chests to find out what my
coaching is all about. Then I also give you if
you subscribe to my newsletter, I give you a gift
(43:55):
and that's at w changes Lives dot com for Slash
Radio TV show, And that's a thirty day help on
I set daily action journal that will track your gratitude,
your feelings and emotions, as well as food as water
helping us and exercise. You've done a daily basis. I'm
running out of time, so you can check this lide
for more information or call me content maybeguarding it and
(44:19):
do we have some time for ANGELAA come back?
Speaker 4 (44:22):
Hello my friend again, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Run out of times, but anyways, that's okay. So do
you have any closing numberbox you want to say?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Just when I come on a podcast or a radio show,
often people have never heard of the kind of things
I talk about, and so I always want to say,
please give yourself grace. You may not have heard about
this before and it's brand new. There's lots of support
(44:55):
on my website for parents for teachers, but give your
self grace because our parents did not teach us about emotions.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Good end. So reach out for Angela for her offer
and her books, reach out to me for my service
products and programs. We both are a little bit different
in a way from the norm, So just venture and
try something new because It's always possibility, so continue to
enjoy my radio and TV show. Debut changes lives on
(45:26):
Thursdays at three pm Pacific six pm Eastern. Read Your
Holistic Journey Begins
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