Is it possible to become the man you never had as a role model?
Ryan Michler didn’t grow up with a blueprint for manhood—but that didn’t stop him from building one. He and Sanger talk about why so many men feel aimless and how stepping up—not faking it—is the way out. They talk about the appeal of distractions like sports and alcohol, the discomfort of starting from zero, and the kind of fulfillment that comes from actually doing hard things.
KEY TOPICS
- Why men substitute purpose with stats, screens, and manufactured intimacy.
- What happens when young men admire risk—and older men discourage it.
- How men get mocked both for not knowing—and for trying to learn.
- Why it’s better to take a first step than wait for certainty.
CHAPTERS
00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decisions in Life & Business
00:50 – Learning by Failing on a Ski Trip
03:18 – Meet Ryan Michler: Founder of Order of Man
04:20 – Growing Up Without a Present Dad
06:48 – Can You Still Learn Manhood as an Adult?
08:27 – Why Men Hide What They Don’t Know
09:14 – The Catch-22 of Men Asking for Help
10:51 – Why Not Knowing Feels Like a Threat
11:38 – How Ego Blocks Growth
13:43 – Finding Mentors & Letting Go of Pride
16:08 – Why Ryan Walked Away from His Firm
18:26 – Taking the Leap Toward Autonomy
20:53 – Rebuilding on Your Own Terms
23:09 – Why Advice Often Reflects Regret
25:33 – Vested Interests & Biased Guidance
27:46 – Seeking Deeper Purpose in Friendships
29:49 – Choosing Relationships Intentionally
31:03 – Escaping Into Sports When Life Lacks Purpose
34:42 – False Meaning in Porn, Alcohol, & Ego
37:02 – What Are You Escaping From?
39:22 – Balance Is a Constant Act
41:45 – Why Fulfillment Beats Happiness
44:09 – You Don’t Find Purpose—You Build It
46:25 – Podcasting & the Birth of Order of Man
48:50 – Try What Interests You (Without Attachments)
51:11 – Ryan’s Battle Plan: 4 Areas of Purpose
53:13 – Decision Tip: Find Someone Who’s Done It
53:21 – Where to Connect with Ryan Michler
54:15 – Key Takeaways
54:50 – Message from the Producer
CONNECT WITH US
Subscribe on YouTube
Join us on Instagram: @decidedlypodcast
Join us on Facebook
Shawn’s Instagram: @shawn_d_smith
Sanger’s Instagram: @sangersmith
Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.
SANGER’S BOOK: A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com