Ep.184 I Deciding to be Alone: 10 Days in Total Darkness and 60 in Antarctica with Akshay Nanavati

What do you do with fear that isn’t going away?

Akshay Nanavati has walked ahead of Humvees looking for bombs in Iraq, dragged a 400-pound sled across Antarctica, and spent ten days in complete darkness—all in pursuit of one thing: a better relationship with fear. In this episode, heand Sanger talk about the difference between fear and danger, how most of us distract ourselves to avoid stillness, and why “good vibes only” is bad advice.

They get into survivors’ guilt, the psychology of endurance, and what to do with emotions that won’t go away.

 

KEY TOPICS

• How survivor’s guilt after war became fuel for Akshay’s purpose.
• 10 days in total darkness: What happens when you sit alone with your thoughts.
• Why the solitude of Antarctica was harder than the cold.
• What you learn about yourself when your body gives out before your mind.

 

CHAPTERS

00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decisions in Life & Business
00:51 – Letting Go to Move Forward
03:13 – What to Do When You’re Not the Expert
04:49 – Introducing Akshay Nanavati
05:18 – A Job No One Wants: Clearing Bombs in Iraq
07:35 – The Danger of Getting Comfortable
09:49 – Training to Be Brave: Skydiving, Climbing & Confronting Fear
12:03 – The Price of Courage: How Fear Builds Virtue
14:27 – Praying for Patience... and Getting It
16:53 – Fear Propels Preparation
18:33 – How the Dalai Lama Ended Up Writing His Foreword
21:33 – Fear Is the Gateway to Growth, Not the Enemy
23:56 – Turning Survivor’s Guilt Into Purpose
26:20 – The Thought Isn’t the Problem—It’s What You Do With It
28:41 – Addiction, Rock Bottom, and the Decision to Get Still
31:02 – Why Most People Are Scared of Stillness
33:23 – Learning to Sit With the Unanswered Questions
35:49 – What a Darkness Retreat Actually Looks Like
38:09 – Stillness vs. Doing Nothing
40:22 – 60 Days Alone in Antarctica
42:43 – When the Math No Longer Works, But You Keep Going
45:08 – Cutting Weight, Cutting Tags, Cutting Toothbrushes
47:21 – When the Body Breaks Before the Mind
49:41 – Losing Fingers for the Sake of Purpose
51:55 – The Price of Frostbite and the Power of Reframing
54:12 – It’s So Hot in Antarctica... in a Tent?
56:34 – Fearing Failure—and Why That’s a Good Thing
58:57 – How to Know Which Fear Is Worth Facing
01:01:21 – Decision Tip: Think in Versions, Not Pass/Fail
01:01:55 – Where to Connect with Akshay Nanavati
01:02:15 – Key Takeaways

01:03:05 – Message from the Producer

 

FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

 

CONNECT WITH US

⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠

Watch this episode on YouTube

Subscribe on ⁠YouTube

Instagram⁠: @decidedlypodcast

Facebook⁠

Shawn’s ⁠Instagram⁠: @shawn_d_smith

Sanger’s ⁠Instagram⁠: @sangersmith 

 

Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.

 

SANGER’S BOOK: .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}