Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Section ten of Deirdre by James Stephens, Book one, chapters
twenty two and twenty three. This LibriVox recording is in
the public domain. Read by Michel Frye Betinrouge Louisiana, chapter
twenty two. But for Deirdre a night went by which,
(00:23):
to the end of her days she would not care
to remember. She had seen the king at last, that
being all memory and dream, half monster and half baby,
whom she remembered from Leversham's endless tale. She had seen
the grave brow, the graver eyes, the bushy, reddish yellow
(00:43):
hair looped back to the slope of his pole, and
the yellow beard, cleft at the center and foaming in
two points to the breast. She could not have thought
that a man might be so huge, so steady, so masterful.
He was a being to whom one might pray, or
for whom one might die joyfully. If a lord came
(01:06):
striding from the she surely he would look as Conahor did,
massive and dazzling and wonderful, with an eye from which
one winced, as from the sun, and with a voice
that told and astonished, like the note of a beaten drum.
She remembered his hand that could hold both of her
own with ease, and the great ridge of his shoulders
(01:29):
sloping away like the easy run and fall of a mountain,
and this terrific being claimed her as his wife. Nothing
but terror filled her heart at that prospect, for she
could not see him in any terms of intimacy or affection.
He was and would remain, as remote as her childhood,
(01:50):
and no mere nearness could make him present, And he
would be as unaccountable as are the elements that smile
today and rage tomorrow in hurricane. What woman could reckon
his parts or his total. He was like some god
that had come out of the hills to astonish and terrify.
(02:10):
And there was niche. As her memory retrieved that beloved name,
her heart went bustling to her throat, and she sat
raging and terrified. It was not that he would be
defrauded of her, It would be his own business to
be woeful on that count. But she would be defrauded
of him, and her proper lack was as yet sufficient
(02:34):
for her mood. For lacking him, what could be returned
to her. Her hands went cold and her mouth dry
as she faced such a prospect. The youth who was hers,
who had no terrors for her, who was her equal
in years and frolic. She could laugh with him and
at him. She could chide him and love him. She
(02:56):
could give to him and withhold. She could be his
mother as well as his wife. She could annoy him
and forgive him, for between them there was such an
equality of time and rits that neither could dream of
mastery or feel a grief against the other. He was
her beloved, her comrade, the very red of her heart,
(03:18):
and her choice choice. Deirdre leaped from the bed, but
she could not leap from her thoughts, and she could
not attempt the crazy and mazy corridors of her home
to fly to him, for the excited household was clattering
and chattering in the corridors, and she could no more
escape by them than a bird can escape by its cage.
(03:41):
It was not until two nights had passed that she
could dare the wall. And in the intervening days she
must listen to Laversham endless in caution and advice. Do this,
but do not on your life do that. Remember this always,
and this and this and this. There seemed as much
to remember not to forget, as there was to remember.
(04:03):
To remember. Deirdre would turn an eye on her guardian,
so lackluster at times, and again so woeful or wild,
that the good lady marveled. Do not be frightened, my
silk of the flock, her guardian soothed. There is every
cause for joy and none for fear. In three days
(04:25):
you will be the most envied lady in Ulster, and
in four you will be the happiest. Tell Leversham what
is in your mind and what you are afraid of?
I am in dread of the king, said Deirdre. That
will pass Leversham advised. And in a few days you
will wonder that you could have been frightened. But a
(04:47):
maid is a maid. All that she thinks or dreams
is founded on inexperience and has nothing to do with reality.
The world pours into a young girl's lap, heedless of
what she wished or for. No person can either hope
or fear until they know actually that which is hopeful
or frightful. All you need do is to accept what
(05:09):
your heart approves of, and what your heart rejects you
can throw away. There is everything to hope for and
nothing to be afraid of. But her chance did come
at last. She found the sons of Ishnach still at
their encampment. But they were a silent trio. They were
(05:29):
more than silent. They were abashed and embarrassed. What is it,
Deardrew murmured, feeling the constraint, We are bidden to your wedding,
said Nisa shyly. The mild candor of his voice went
into her heart like a sword, so that she could
not speak to him, And it was to his brother
(05:50):
she turned. What shall we do, dear un Lah, she asked,
But he had no answer for her. And it was
the youngest two replied, let us all run away, Arton cried,
and his face went suddenly red, and his eager eyes
shone like stars. Nisha glanced at Deirdre from under his brows.
(06:11):
Where could we run too? From the king? Anla grumbled impatiently.
And we do not come of a race that run away,
said Nisha. Silence fell, but the statement of his own
quality had unlocked a door of bitterness in NISA's heart. Nora,
will you easily find a girl who will run away
(06:32):
from a kingdom? He continued, as though addressing reasonable counsel
to his juniors. Deirdre faced him gravely and lovingly. I
will run away with you, she said the king. Nisha gasped,
I am afraid of that king, she whispered urgently, But
her lover was pale and terrified. It would be an
(06:56):
affront that was never offered to a king in Ira.
It would be a cruelty, and it would be an
awful deed. He turned to his brothers. The king is
our uncle. He loves us, he said, yes, Anla agreed.
He loves us better than his own sons. After Coculin
(07:16):
said Adan, he loves us best in the world, and
he loves me, said Deirdre. Nisha leaped to his feet, Oh,
gods of day and night, he cried. He seemed to
plead to Deirdre for comprehension and pity. Conohur reared me
like his own son. I sat in his lap. He
(07:38):
buckled the sword on me with his own hand. He
put his two palms on my shoulders when I won
my weapons, and he kissed me three times on each cheek.
I love and venerate him again. Silence throbbed among them.
I shall go home to Laversham, said Deirdre. The boys
(07:59):
looked at her and at each other. And at the ground,
and did not know where to look any more. I
also shall be reared by the sun of ness, she
said gently, I too, shall sit in his lap. He
will not buckle a sword on me, but he will
unbuckle my girdle with his own hands. He will put
(08:20):
his two palms on my shoulders, and he will kiss
me many times on each cheek. Nisha beat a fist
against his brow. I am the King's man, he stammered,
but she turned her fleet smile and trembling lips on him.
Am I to tell the king how well we loved
each other night after night among the trees? Or would
(08:43):
it be better to keep that a secret amongst us?
For they say that men can keep secrets. The two
lads blushed painfully and turned away. Nisha was as one
who has renounced life. There is nothing to be done,
said his dry lips, and then shaking his shoulders, he
tossed care from them. We shall be beyond the trees
(09:06):
at this hour to morrow night with the chariots, he said.
If the hour passes and you do not come, we
shall attack the guards and take you out. He turned
to the others. You must come with us wherever we go,
my brothers, for when the King finds that I am gone,
he will slay you to for Erik, he wouldn't kill me.
(09:27):
Ardan boasted, for I wouldn't let him. Nobody, but could
Coolan could kill you? Anola scoffed. You couldn't anyway, the
youngest retorted, little boasting pillar of combat. His brother Jad
Pooh battle torch of the Gaul, and in a terrified merriment,
(09:48):
they made the rest of their arrangements. Chapter twenty three,
Laversham left the King's presence. She came away bowed and
blind and dizzy, shuffling in any direction, and unaware of
why she was walking or where she was going. A
(10:09):
hundred thoughts battling, furious for precedence kept her thoughtless. A
hundred pictures, each striving for place and examination, kept her blind.
She was all a din and whirl and swirl, as
though the winds that raged in gust and countercurrent through
her brain were blowing her along. At times she would
(10:33):
remember that she did not wish to go where she
was going, and she would spin furiously aside and go
as stupidly in another path. And at times she would
discover that she was standing still and collected as a stone,
a nothing, staring on nothing. Great sighs broke from her
miserable heart. Or she was so shattered by dry sobbings
(10:56):
that it seemed her bones must part company with her
flesh and with each each other. And again, with her
two hands gripped on her mouth, she squeezed back a
medley of screams and listened as in amazement to the
thin whinings that forced through the crooked spaces of her fingers. Again,
the cautious woman would peep and peer to see if
(11:17):
any person was nigh to observe her, And before that
survey could make its rounds, she would forget what she
was looking for and think that they could not be
seen from this place, for they have hours start, and
will be where by this time. With what unbelieving anguish
that flight had forced itself upon her, she had gone
(11:41):
trotting and ambling and panting about her rooms and fields,
calling Deirdre, Deirdre, Deirdra, searching for her baby in a
work basket or on the flat of a ceiling, while
the servants gibbered and squealed and bubbled and blared at
her and at each other. With what an iron dismay.
(12:01):
The thought of Connahor came on her, desolating and unreckoned,
as the thunderclap which howls on the heels of its
howling brother. He must be told. And at that she
poked up her nose like a moon struck dog, feeling
scream on scream until the attending hags fled into the
(12:23):
corners as the mice do when they are frightened, and
screamed with her, and at her, and at the roof.
She went to Connaheur. She stood mumbling and staring outside
the door, and then trotted in, whispering to him, She's gone,
And Conahor echoed in uncomprehending amazement. She's gone. Laversham stared
(12:51):
into the king's face that was carved in the granite
of suspense and astonishment. She's gone, Little Dedrew's gone. She yelled,
and emptied her thin fingers on the air, as though
she emptied them of deirdre. She clapped her hands together
with a dreadful giggle, and flapped her arms along her thighs,
(13:12):
like some ungainly crow that has been set dancing drunk
on mead. When a maid goes a man goes with her,
she croaked. She flopped to the door and hopped out
of it and popped back. She's gone, she cried, She's gone.
She ran away with the man, and she wobbled to
(13:35):
the doorway again, nodding and tittering at the king until
she disappeared. The servants and guards were listening, with their
eyes staring, their mouths open, and their breathing forgotten. A whisper,
a thrill, a terrible constriction of the heart, fled through
the vast palace and went zig zagging like wildfire about Ulster.
(13:59):
And in the center of that Kanahor stood alone, with
his fists closed and his eyes closed, listening to the
whispers that were an inch away and one hundred miles away,
that were over him and under him and in him,
Listening to the blanching of his face and to the
(14:20):
liquefying of his bones, listening in a rage of curiosity
and woe for the more that might be said and
all the more that might be thought, trying as with
one gripping of the mind, to sense all the bitterness
that might be too exhaust it in one gulp, to reawaken,
(14:40):
as at a million removes from all that has ever
been or could be till doom. End of Section ten,
end of Book one,
Section ten of Deirdre by James Stephens, Book one, chapters
twenty two and twenty three. This LibriVox recording is in
the public domain. Read by Michel Frye Betinrouge Louisiana, chapter
twenty two. But for Deirdre a night went by which,
(00:23):
to the end of her days she would not care
to remember. She had seen the king at last, that
being all memory and dream, half monster and half baby,
whom she remembered from Leversham's endless tale. She had seen
the grave brow, the graver eyes, the bushy, reddish yellow
(00:43):
hair looped back to the slope of his pole, and
the yellow beard, cleft at the center and foaming in
two points to the breast. She could not have thought
that a man might be so huge, so steady, so masterful.
He was a being to whom one might pray, or
for whom one might die joyfully. If a lord came
(01:06):
striding from the she surely he would look as Conahor did,
massive and dazzling and wonderful, with an eye from which
one winced, as from the sun, and with a voice
that told and astonished, like the note of a beaten drum.
She remembered his hand that could hold both of her
own with ease, and the great ridge of his shoulders
(01:29):
sloping away like the easy run and fall of a mountain,
and this terrific being claimed her as his wife. Nothing
but terror filled her heart at that prospect, for she
could not see him in any terms of intimacy or affection.
He was and would remain, as remote as her childhood,
(01:50):
and no mere nearness could make him present, And he
would be as unaccountable as are the elements that smile
today and rage tomorrow in hurricane. What woman could reckon
his parts or his total. He was like some god
that had come out of the hills to astonish and terrify.
(02:10):
And there was niche. As her memory retrieved that beloved name,
her heart went bustling to her throat, and she sat
raging and terrified. It was not that he would be
defrauded of her, It would be his own business to
be woeful on that count. But she would be defrauded
of him, and her proper lack was as yet sufficient
(02:34):
for her mood. For lacking him, what could be returned
to her. Her hands went cold and her mouth dry
as she faced such a prospect. The youth who was hers,
who had no terrors for her, who was her equal
in years and frolic. She could laugh with him and
at him. She could chide him and love him. She
(02:56):
could give to him and withhold. She could be his
mother as well as his wife. She could annoy him
and forgive him, for between them there was such an
equality of time and rits that neither could dream of
mastery or feel a grief against the other. He was
her beloved, her comrade, the very red of her heart,
(03:18):
and her choice choice. Deirdre leaped from the bed, but
she could not leap from her thoughts, and she could
not attempt the crazy and mazy corridors of her home
to fly to him, for the excited household was clattering
and chattering in the corridors, and she could no more
escape by them than a bird can escape by its cage.
(03:41):
It was not until two nights had passed that she
could dare the wall. And in the intervening days she
must listen to Laversham endless in caution and advice. Do this,
but do not on your life do that. Remember this always,
and this and this and this. There seemed as much
to remember not to forget, as there was to remember.
(04:03):
To remember. Deirdre would turn an eye on her guardian,
so lackluster at times, and again so woeful or wild,
that the good lady marveled. Do not be frightened, my
silk of the flock, her guardian soothed. There is every
cause for joy and none for fear. In three days
(04:25):
you will be the most envied lady in Ulster, and
in four you will be the happiest. Tell Leversham what
is in your mind and what you are afraid of?
I am in dread of the king, said Deirdre. That
will pass Leversham advised. And in a few days you
will wonder that you could have been frightened. But a
(04:47):
maid is a maid. All that she thinks or dreams
is founded on inexperience and has nothing to do with reality.
The world pours into a young girl's lap, heedless of
what she wished or for. No person can either hope
or fear until they know actually that which is hopeful
or frightful. All you need do is to accept what
(05:09):
your heart approves of, and what your heart rejects you
can throw away. There is everything to hope for and
nothing to be afraid of. But her chance did come
at last. She found the sons of Ishnach still at
their encampment. But they were a silent trio. They were
(05:29):
more than silent. They were abashed and embarrassed. What is it,
Deardrew murmured, feeling the constraint, We are bidden to your wedding,
said Nisa shyly. The mild candor of his voice went
into her heart like a sword, so that she could
not speak to him, And it was to his brother
(05:50):
she turned. What shall we do, dear un Lah, she asked,
But he had no answer for her. And it was
the youngest two replied, let us all run away, Arton cried,
and his face went suddenly red, and his eager eyes
shone like stars. Nisha glanced at Deirdre from under his brows.
(06:11):
Where could we run too? From the king? Anla grumbled impatiently.
And we do not come of a race that run away,
said Nisha. Silence fell, but the statement of his own
quality had unlocked a door of bitterness in NISA's heart. Nora,
will you easily find a girl who will run away
(06:32):
from a kingdom? He continued, as though addressing reasonable counsel
to his juniors. Deirdre faced him gravely and lovingly. I
will run away with you, she said the king. Nisha gasped,
I am afraid of that king, she whispered urgently, But
her lover was pale and terrified. It would be an
(06:56):
affront that was never offered to a king in Ira.
It would be a cruelty, and it would be an
awful deed. He turned to his brothers. The king is
our uncle. He loves us, he said, yes, Anla agreed.
He loves us better than his own sons. After Coculin
(07:16):
said Adan, he loves us best in the world, and
he loves me, said Deirdre. Nisha leaped to his feet, Oh,
gods of day and night, he cried. He seemed to
plead to Deirdre for comprehension and pity. Conohur reared me
like his own son. I sat in his lap. He
(07:38):
buckled the sword on me with his own hand. He
put his two palms on my shoulders when I won
my weapons, and he kissed me three times on each cheek.
I love and venerate him again. Silence throbbed among them.
I shall go home to Laversham, said Deirdre. The boys
(07:59):
looked at her and at each other. And at the ground,
and did not know where to look any more. I
also shall be reared by the sun of ness, she
said gently, I too, shall sit in his lap. He
will not buckle a sword on me, but he will
unbuckle my girdle with his own hands. He will put
(08:20):
his two palms on my shoulders, and he will kiss
me many times on each cheek. Nisha beat a fist
against his brow. I am the King's man, he stammered,
but she turned her fleet smile and trembling lips on him.
Am I to tell the king how well we loved
each other night after night among the trees? Or would
(08:43):
it be better to keep that a secret amongst us?
For they say that men can keep secrets. The two
lads blushed painfully and turned away. Nisha was as one
who has renounced life. There is nothing to be done,
said his dry lips, and then shaking his shoulders, he
tossed care from them. We shall be beyond the trees
(09:06):
at this hour to morrow night with the chariots, he said.
If the hour passes and you do not come, we
shall attack the guards and take you out. He turned
to the others. You must come with us wherever we go,
my brothers, for when the King finds that I am gone,
he will slay you to for Erik, he wouldn't kill me.
(09:27):
Ardan boasted, for I wouldn't let him. Nobody, but could
Coolan could kill you? Anola scoffed. You couldn't anyway, the
youngest retorted, little boasting pillar of combat. His brother Jad
Pooh battle torch of the Gaul, and in a terrified merriment,
(09:48):
they made the rest of their arrangements. Chapter twenty three,
Laversham left the King's presence. She came away bowed and
blind and dizzy, shuffling in any direction, and unaware of
why she was walking or where she was going. A
(10:09):
hundred thoughts battling, furious for precedence kept her thoughtless. A
hundred pictures, each striving for place and examination, kept her blind.
She was all a din and whirl and swirl, as
though the winds that raged in gust and countercurrent through
her brain were blowing her along. At times she would
(10:33):
remember that she did not wish to go where she
was going, and she would spin furiously aside and go
as stupidly in another path. And at times she would
discover that she was standing still and collected as a stone,
a nothing, staring on nothing. Great sighs broke from her
miserable heart. Or she was so shattered by dry sobbings
(10:56):
that it seemed her bones must part company with her
flesh and with each each other. And again, with her
two hands gripped on her mouth, she squeezed back a
medley of screams and listened as in amazement to the
thin whinings that forced through the crooked spaces of her fingers. Again,
the cautious woman would peep and peer to see if
(11:17):
any person was nigh to observe her, And before that
survey could make its rounds, she would forget what she
was looking for and think that they could not be
seen from this place, for they have hours start, and
will be where by this time. With what unbelieving anguish
that flight had forced itself upon her, she had gone
(11:41):
trotting and ambling and panting about her rooms and fields,
calling Deirdre, Deirdre, Deirdra, searching for her baby in a
work basket or on the flat of a ceiling, while
the servants gibbered and squealed and bubbled and blared at
her and at each other. With what an iron dismay.
(12:01):
The thought of Connahor came on her, desolating and unreckoned,
as the thunderclap which howls on the heels of its
howling brother. He must be told. And at that she
poked up her nose like a moon struck dog, feeling
scream on scream until the attending hags fled into the
(12:23):
corners as the mice do when they are frightened, and
screamed with her, and at her, and at the roof.
She went to Connaheur. She stood mumbling and staring outside
the door, and then trotted in, whispering to him, She's gone,
And Conahor echoed in uncomprehending amazement. She's gone. Laversham stared
(12:51):
into the king's face that was carved in the granite
of suspense and astonishment. She's gone, Little Dedrew's gone. She yelled,
and emptied her thin fingers on the air, as though
she emptied them of deirdre. She clapped her hands together
with a dreadful giggle, and flapped her arms along her thighs,
(13:12):
like some ungainly crow that has been set dancing drunk
on mead. When a maid goes a man goes with her,
she croaked. She flopped to the door and hopped out
of it and popped back. She's gone, she cried, She's gone.
She ran away with the man, and she wobbled to
(13:35):
the doorway again, nodding and tittering at the king until
she disappeared. The servants and guards were listening, with their
eyes staring, their mouths open, and their breathing forgotten. A whisper,
a thrill, a terrible constriction of the heart, fled through
the vast palace and went zig zagging like wildfire about Ulster.
(13:59):
And in the center of that Kanahor stood alone, with
his fists closed and his eyes closed, listening to the
whispers that were an inch away and one hundred miles away,
that were over him and under him and in him,
Listening to the blanching of his face and to the
(14:20):
liquefying of his bones, listening in a rage of curiosity
and woe for the more that might be said and
all the more that might be thought, trying as with
one gripping of the mind, to sense all the bitterness
that might be too exhaust it in one gulp, to reawaken,
(14:40):
as at a million removes from all that has ever
been or could be till doom. End of Section ten,
end of Book one,
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