May 7, 2025 • 33 mins
Dating apps are leaving people depressed, lonely, and desperate for real connection. Despite the rise of so-called "offline dating" alternatives, the core problem remains: online, physical attractiveness still trumps all.
Dating today is broken. Online platforms dominate modern romance, but instead of creating meaningful connections, they’re fueling loneliness, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. One study finds that in the world of dating apps, physical attractiveness outweighs all other traits, leaving users to feel disposable and dehumanized.
While some turn to “offline dating” apps that promise organic encounters, these often feel clunky, elitist, or just as emotionally exhausting.
At the same time, new research reveals a powerful link between sexual activity and mental health. A study of nearly 15,000 Americans found that people who have sex once or twice a week are 24% less likely to experience depression.
Even less frequent sex still offers similar benefits. The findings held across all ages, races, and income levels, with younger and uninsured individuals showing the most significant mental health boosts.
Scientists aren't sure whether sex reduces depression or if better mental health leads to more sex — but either way, the connection is strong.
In a culture increasingly dominated by swipes and superficiality, the path to emotional wellness might not be in finding the “perfect match” — but in seeking real, reciprocal intimacy beyond the screen.
Contact KOP for professional podcast production, imaging, and web design services at http://www.kingofpodcasts.com
Support KOP by subscribing to his YouTube channel and search for King Of Podcasts
Follow KOP on Twitter or Facebook @kingofpodcasts or Instagram @thekingofpodcasts
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Dating today is broken. Online platforms dominate modern romance, but instead of creating meaningful connections, they’re fueling loneliness, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. One study finds that in the world of dating apps, physical attractiveness outweighs all other traits, leaving users to feel disposable and dehumanized.
While some turn to “offline dating” apps that promise organic encounters, these often feel clunky, elitist, or just as emotionally exhausting.
At the same time, new research reveals a powerful link between sexual activity and mental health. A study of nearly 15,000 Americans found that people who have sex once or twice a week are 24% less likely to experience depression.
Even less frequent sex still offers similar benefits. The findings held across all ages, races, and income levels, with younger and uninsured individuals showing the most significant mental health boosts.
Scientists aren't sure whether sex reduces depression or if better mental health leads to more sex — but either way, the connection is strong.
In a culture increasingly dominated by swipes and superficiality, the path to emotional wellness might not be in finding the “perfect match” — but in seeking real, reciprocal intimacy beyond the screen.
Contact KOP for professional podcast production, imaging, and web design services at http://www.kingofpodcasts.com
Support KOP by subscribing to his YouTube channel and search for King Of Podcasts
Follow KOP on Twitter or Facebook @kingofpodcasts or Instagram @thekingofpodcasts
Listen to KOP’s other programs, Podcasters Row… and the Wrestling is Real Wrestling Podcast and The Broadcasters Podcast.
Buy KOP a Coffee https://buymeacoffee.com/kingofpodcasts
Drop KOP a PayPal https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=3TAB983ZQPNVL
Drop KOP a CashApp https://cash.app/$kingofallpodcasts
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/depraved-and-debaucherous--5267208/support.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Podcasting since two thousand and five. This is the King
of Podcasts Radio Network, King of Podcasts dot com. You
want the answer to those depressing dating apps, Well only
sex can save you. We're all a little depraved and debaucherous.
(00:21):
Here is the King of Podcasts. Thank you for joining me.
King of Podcasts. Here with you. King of Podcasts dot
Com is the website seeth on all my content each
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me know and I'll be happy to go ahead and
make that. So So, I've been kind of off of
dating apps for a while now, more than a few years.
(02:30):
Definitely got out of it before COVID, and I think
a lot of people will really have had the struggle
to get themselves back on there because when that we
had that madeor break it really did break everything up,
and people have not really circled back around to normal
habits of social interaction since then. I don't think it.
I think it's just changed again. Look at what changed
(02:53):
in the last five years. When we got a lot
of reasons for people not to go to the restaurants, Hey,
just go ahead and order in, just get door Dash
or Uber and just get it delivered. That was the
first part, and then we have the lack of the
really anti social behavior when it comes to everybody just
being in themselves used to social distancing and still people
kind of do that because all we're doing is it's
(03:14):
not by the masks, it's by the earbuds and headphones
that we wear everywhere. Everyone is in their own little pod,
in their own mindset, and it's kind of hard to
see where people really feel like they're going to be
in that place and they feel comfortable in that route.
So it's all those kind of things that are happening
now more and more every day. And you ask yourself,
like when you talk about what will make you happy,
(03:36):
what will satisfy you? Make you happy? In love? And
we identified those three areas for a lot of young
people out there, love, sex, and money. So I'm going
to kind of still follow up on that subject from
last week. If you didn't have a chance to listen
to it, please go and find it. It's on the
YouTube channel, it's on the website, and of course you
can find the show on Apple, Podcast, Spotify, YouTube Music, iHeartRadio,
(03:57):
all the different platforms. Right. So, there's a good stories
that come across when we are trying to get on
dating apps and people feeling they want to go and
get themselves off of it because they feel depressed over it.
There's a story in the Guardian that really was interesting.
So there's a story that came in from a reader
to the Guardian in the UK. A forty year old
(04:18):
man using dating apps for eight years met about one
hundred different women, not out of the ones whom I
just chatted. So actual physical dates, first dates, quite a
few second dates and a few short relationships. Nothing stuck.
So eight years on dating apps. This is his experience
in his thirties now into his early forties. When I
(04:40):
read this story, I look at where I was, because
that's exactly what I did up until about forty years old.
I really did try to go ahead and go on
dating apps, and I was doing a lot of first dates.
One he's in my thirties. It was all first dates,
and he said the same way a lot of first dates.
(05:02):
Didn't have a lot of second dates myself, and if
there was somebody I was gonna be with, it's like
things just fizzled out for whatever reason. And part of
it was for me is that I needed to feel
something coming from the relationship. There had to be some reciprocity.
I never felt that in some of those relationships. So
here's what this gentleman says wants to seem to want
(05:25):
a relationship. Everyone is broken, including me. Someone would turn
me down allegedly because I asked to split the bill
on the second date, having paid on the first. Some
turn me down because I want kids and they don't.
Some to me I'm a nice man, after which I
don't hear from them again. I've never coasted anyone, but
I've turned down some good people too. I was trying
(05:45):
to do the right thing by my head and my heart,
and appears everyone is looking for chemistry and not finding it.
And the chemistry part, we're gonna fall back into that
again a little bit later on, because that's going to
go into the part of attractiveness, sex and satisfaction because
I think one of the things that are all tied
in that because the chase for us for men, because
(06:08):
he's chasing too, it's the same thing for both. And
the chase never satisfied me because I could tell you
the difference between my thirties and my forties. In my forties,
I was much more into what is now called situationships,
but there was friends with benefits, and the truth was
(06:31):
I felt more satisfied and friends with benefits to the
fact that I was able to go and have interactions
with multiple women at any given time. And when what
happened was COVID happened, and it just stopped everything that
was what I was used to doing, where I might
(06:52):
going to go just full around and find some strange
It just changed me. But the dating apps at the
end of the day, one of the things that also
concerned me a lot was that I wasn't finding anybody
quality on there anymore. And the time spent for me
to go ahead and find someone to talk to and
talk for months and with one girl up to a year,
(07:16):
I wasn't getting nothing out of those at all. And
sometimes there were possibilities where I met somebody in person,
talked up and then for whatever reason things just fizzled
out after the first date, or I would bail out.
There were a lot of things like that. But then
the other part too was that there was also a
bit of a thing where the money I had to
(07:38):
spend on some friends with benefits because I had to
go find hotel rooms and set up the date, set
up the arrangement. It still comes down to the fact
that I never had a girl I could just go
to her place and just fool around It was never
that I didn't have my own place. I never had
my own place, so roommates were always of an issue,
(07:59):
and I could somebody in just to where I was.
It was always something else I had to work on,
so I had to find a place to go every time.
And it wasn't always easy to get someone that I
wanted to spend time with and bring them to this place.
Because remember when I was in my thirties, I was
working in a different county. Like in many cases, I
(08:20):
was driving down from Palmage County to Broward County, a
good fifty miles runt and back, and so I would
have to go ahead and figure out, Okay, if I
was meeting people that I got to interact with in Broward,
I'd have to go back down the Broward later on
the night. So if I met somebody there during the day,
I would have to go back at night to go
(08:40):
meet up with them. It wasn't never easy to go
go down there during the middle of the day and
go back and see them again. That drive was a lot,
and the setup was a lot, so there was money
being spent on this, but I did get satisfaction. I
felt like, well, I got something out of that because
I always felt like I had to go. I would
find more friends and benefits when I was closer to
my work down there, because there were a lot more
(09:01):
single people and just a lot more opportunities than it
was closer to where I was. Like, the closer I
could find someone near me, the more difficult it was.
To be honest, Like, I had chances of more friends
with benefits when I met people down in a different
county than it was where I was. For me to
have a sustainable friends with benefits, I had to really
(09:23):
go ahead and make the trip. I had to spend
the time and spend the money. So it was the
same thing that's going on a date. But at least
I got laid, maybe not laid all the time, at
least I got something, some satisfaction out of it. I
got the third base, I got serviced. But other than that,
that's all it was. Now in this person's case, Yeah,
(09:45):
you're not gonna get someone to split the bill on
the second date. Trying to go ahead and try to
justify and make some fairness out of this. That's not
gonna work when you've already created precedent. Look, you're gonna
try to go split. You might as do it in
the first date and just say this is the way
it is, and just lay out the framework first, because
if you start changing these up and start getting less
of yourself on the second, third date, no, that's not
(10:06):
gonna work. The fact that the conversation about children on
a first or second date comes up, that's pretty quick.
I wouldn't think about anything like that right away. But
he's looking for a relationship. So it's one of those
things where if you're going into a relationship, like how
much of that do you want to give of yourself?
Like there's girls when I talk to you right now
(10:27):
that talk about relationship with me, and they're just girls
I'm met online. But when there are women that will
go ahead and jump early into like what the future is,
if we're gonna be a couple, if we're gonna get married,
we're gonna have children, the fantasy of that. You'd be
surplised how many women overseas get that kind of idea
right away. And when they do, it's like, well, I
(10:52):
can share as much as I can about myself, and
for me, I don't want to be the twenty questions
guy when it comes to a girl anymore. I don't
want to do the whole get to know you phase
and going that kind of route favorite color, favorite food,
favorite music. Some of that is like nice to know
if we can kind of have that as a reason
to come back to it and talk about it. But
(11:12):
I don't want to go into that in a regular basis.
I can't do it. And that's the part that I've
been trying to figure out the best form of action
on interacting with a girl. That's just going to be
a natural thing when especially it's online, it is so
much easier to do than in person. You can take
(11:34):
the advantage of body language, taking the advantage of how
the person's how the girl's responding to you, or for
the guy, if it's the other way around, it's the response,
it's the subcommunication, it's the interaction. You get a better
chance to know if they are in jive with what
you're talking about, if they feel if you're gelling with them,
(11:55):
if there's a chemistry that's being built up because he
said it right, You do want to find chemistry, and
the chemistry needs to build up more and more and more.
But as somebody doesn't want to go ahead and get
involved in the building that chemistry. That's where I shut out.
I shut down on a girl that doesn't give me
that kind of chemistry, that doesn't want to go towards
that kind of chemistry. Attraction, attraction to let's bond, let's
(12:16):
get together and let's do something, let's have some fun,
and then realize, well, it's more than just that. Now
he talks about how he tried to meet women without
using apps. My friends are married or in long term relationships,
and unfortunately don't know anyone they could match me with.
When I was younger, I worked in a big company.
(12:37):
I went the house parties. Now I'm self employed and
my friends throw baby showers, So I can't meet seeing
women as much. Look, and that's the part where I
don't rely on friends. We know that, Like, if you
have friends, then they can introduce you to people. That's
one thing. But yeah, my point him being at forty
years old, Yeah, everybody he knows is married. Same thing
for me, Like if I had any close friends of mine, yeah,
(13:00):
they're all married with kids, and so I'm not worried
about trying to interact with others or like tag along
with other friends of mine that I know of just
to see what happens. I just don't do it. Everybody's
kind off to her own device. So yeah, everyone's married.
There's no one to go and attached to on that route.
(13:22):
You just have to go ahead and go out and approach.
You have to just go and make the first move
and talk to a lot of girls that will reject you.
Maybe he's not really much into that. He says he's
gone to bars and courageously chatted to the women I fancied.
Sometimes it actually works, but she may just like me
professionally or as a friend, and maybe in a relationship already.
(13:42):
Because that's the other part too. Some of the things
you're gonna get rejected for is the fact that somebody
else will have somebody else. But now we know that
doesn't happen as much. We know we have a lot
more single people out there, but they're not looking for relationships.
And part of it is, too, is that it's the investment.
(14:03):
When guys are much more comfortable being single than ever
and women have a different intent or expectations from a
guy that the love that they give is not enough.
It's got to be how much money do you give me,
how much support and how much of a benefactor. You
are being more of a benefactor than a lover. Is
where a lot of younger women are falling into right now.
(14:28):
So on the apps, all the women are single, a
good star, he says. But then the corrosive activity of swiping, chatting, meeting,
rejecting or mostly being rejected became too much and he
considered suicide. He deleted the absenstead of himself. He says,
he wished he could afford counting, but it's too expensive.
In the National Health Service in England, by the way,
(14:50):
where he's at talking, therapies appear to be reserved for
people who are struggling more than me, which is understandable.
So yeah, he had a real issue about trying to
figure out what to do with himself because the rejection
was becoming too much for him, and the struggle, plus
that feeling of like, well, I'm forty years old, I'm
(15:11):
at the middle of my life and I have no
one to celebrate my life with and celebrate love with.
That loneliness for some people really hits hard. I know that.
The thing because one of the things I do for
myself is that I keep myself real busy, so I
have my full time work, my part time work, and
I do the work right here on this podcast and
(15:33):
the other podcasts that I do, so all that takes
up a lot of my time, among other things that
I have to do. But I can't just have a
whole lot of empty time and just time just to
do random recreational things. I can't just have leisure time,
because then I'm going to have time just to think
about the fact of well, I'm lonely anybody to spend
(15:56):
this with, and all those kind of things. Even the
struggle of trying to go out and do vacations, that's
very tough, So Analysa Barbieri. In this Acardian article, she
talks to the author of Tell Me the Truth about Love,
Susannah Apps, a couple ps psychotherapists, and in the UK,
(16:18):
an estimated eight percent of people now find their long
term partners on apps, and the older your are, the
more likeliness will be. But when you're on dating apps,
while you might have people that are single, it's also
a highly pressurized setting because people could be very anxious
about rejection as they avoid showing interest. And she also
(16:41):
wonders whether quote open hardness and a willingness to look
for friendship are actually as important as chemistry in media.
Physical attraction is great, but perhaps chemistry also develops over time.
The person is interesting and crucially interested in you, So
are you interesting or are you curious about those you meet? Well,
that's the part where I got to understand where Susan's
(17:04):
saying this right here. But part of it is to
me that if you want to find someone that has chemistry,
when especially when you're younger, the chemistry starts from the attraction,
because that's the first thing you get, is the immediate
physical attraction, and then there are things that you're gonna
learn about somebody that are gonna make them attracted to you.
(17:25):
Women will always say, oh, well there's a man as
he's smart, he's got you know, a good work ethic
that will be attractive to her. We already know that's
more than that, but that's also tying into the fact
that now guys that hear, oh he's got a great
worth work ethic, he's really strong, he's really smart. You know,
he's get up and go kind of guy. So they
(17:48):
want to motivated man because they know that means he's
making money or he's gonna work really hard for someone
he loves. But then how much work is the woman
going to do to make him, make her make him
love her? Not much? Now the other part of the
offline dating, So the story that came in from Day's
(18:10):
Digital talking about dating offline and getting back to that
again trying to turn things back around. So there are
now alternative apps and events that are promising to take
dating offline again. They're growing in popularity. But this is
the new thing with the dating apps right now, where
you still have the try and true dating apps that
(18:31):
are now charging much more than ever, with Hinge and
tender offering premium plans or basically matchmaking services. Now the
a dating apps in the UK have been dipping a lot.
So here's what we have in TWENTYWOY three. These stats
that they have right here. Tenderhead lost six hundred thousand users,
Hinge one hundred and thirty one thousand, Bumble three hundred
(18:53):
and sixty eight thousand. So young people are for going
online dating, they don't want to do it. I think
they can mention of a couple different dating apps that
are out there. There is Breeze, which takes online dating offline.
You're block Froom chatting with matches until you meet face
to face on your first date. Left Field, which is
available in New York right now, is a dating app
(19:14):
designed to help you meet people in the wild, and
users are in a pushed onification when a potential match
is in their vicinity. Right, there's that, then there's happen
happn In a similar way, users are able to connect
with the other users they have crossed paths with in
real life. But remember all these dating apps are spread out,
so it's not that you're gonna have the biggest concentration
of people being on one app. That's the part is
(19:36):
really difficult about all this is that there's not that
many single people on there anymore, and so the choices
available are slim. You have slim pickets on all these
sites now except for the major ones, which is why
they would around the longest when it comes to Tender
or a hinge match, dot com, all those. So you
(19:57):
have these apps that trying to get people to go
more off line. Then they have their events as well,
and some of the examples they show right here. Breeze
allows you to see seven profiles a day, so you're
unable to spend hours to bond ly swiping through profiles
like you would on hinge left field, trying to add
some more spot in eety back to dating and prevent
(20:18):
people from getting stuck in dreaded talking stages that go nowhere,
So they offer speeding events. The problem is right now
is that you can't get people to go back to
dating in person like you used to because technology has
changed it. The dating technology that kept people to stay
on dating apps and swipe away, you can't turn that
back around. It doesn't matter how you get a new
(20:41):
generation that changes things up, it just doesn't change like that.
So there was a book from Marie Bergstrom, a sociologists
in twenty twenty once she wrote The New Laws of Love,
talking about the privatization of intimacy. So describe the way
in which the growth of online dating has catalyzed the
culture where finding love is that increasingly is an activity
(21:02):
increasingly carried out in private spaces outside of the public sphere.
So some studies claim that relationships would be given offline
are more stable and satisfying the relationship's formed via apps,
but also unhealthy for us to be so rigid about
who we date and where we meet them. And Berkshire
had told The Guardian in twenty twenty two, quote, we
(21:23):
need to think about what it means to be in
a society that has moved inside and closed down. She
says here us, Well, just like I said, you can't
put the genie back in the bottle. I too, live
in our dating app poisoned world, and now how hard
it is to now approach someone in the wild. And
I know it's not as simple as sitting around and
looking mysterious in cafes. I know I could feel scary
(21:44):
to confessed feelings for a friend, But do we really
need to get third parties involved? And as human beings,
we've already come equipped with everything we need to find love.
We don't need gimmicky apps or dating events. I'm not
deluded enough to pretend that means everybody on earth is
guaranteed to have a rom com worthy meet cute one day.
But at risk its sound like a Richard Curtis character.
(22:05):
I do think it's the least possible to find love
anywhere if you're really open to it. There's a lot
more of that it's being said in this story, but
part of it is that we are at a point
where if you're struggling to go ahead and date in
person or date online, it still comes down to one
(22:27):
thing that is guaranteed that will always get things going,
that you have a good chance of being able to
go ahead and find someone. The psychology says it all so.
A new study that was published in Constributers and Human
Behavior Reporting Human Behavior purports they learned that when it
(22:47):
comes to online dating, physical appearance overwhelmingly determines who gets matched.
They analyze five thousand swiping decisions made by real dating
app users at researchers discovered that improving a person's attractiveness
increases their chances of being selected for more than any
other trait like intelligence, height, or occupation, and men and
women in value these traits in nearly identical ways, challenging
(23:09):
long Hell believes about gender differences in mat preferences. Let
me also add to that, you want to find attractive
to somebody men, I am pretty sure you know that
if you find a girl that you go out on
a date withhe you meet at a club or whatever
it is, you're gonna find the girl who has just
been taking a lot of time, taking many hours to
(23:31):
put herself together the right outfit, the right clothes, the
right accessories, the right makeup, the right hair. She has
put herself together as best as you can, really peacocked
yourself up, a real peacock, look right, attention, getting come hither. Look,
that's the idea, but that's not how she is all
(23:53):
the time. What you really want to find out. And
the girls that will be on these dating apps, they're
gonna put their best pictures forward, or they'll put filters
behind them, whether they can to kind of disguise or
kind of just take away the focus on how they look.
We know a lot of girls that do that. Might
(24:15):
take a picture of their body, but then like they're
taking the picture where they're holding the camera up and
they're not putting the phone down to take the picture.
They're just taking it like a selfie and they don't
move their face so it can be seen in the
mirror or be seen how they're doing it. And I'm
doing reverse selfie either. Think about if you go on
any dating apps right now or even the Cuggar Dedy sites,
(24:38):
how many girls take good pictures of themselves that are
not staged. Then it look like Instagram photos and something
on only fans that a girl can just take natural
pictures of herself and you really get to see her
in a real light. So I'm gonna give a little
secret here. One of the things I always do with
(24:58):
a girl when I'm trying to get and know or
is I want to see you what you look like
in casual clothes. So don't give me anything in the dress,
don't give anything in laugerie, nothing like that. What do
you look like in a pair of jeans and a shirt,
A real simple casual look. You know, for a lot
of times when you look at people that are dating
(25:19):
and look, I go to the movie theaters all the time,
and the movie theater, everybody's there looking comfortable. And girls, man,
more times than not when I see them going in
the movie theater jeans and a shirt or some kind
of time whatever it is, or leggings or whatever, but
it's like very casual, comfortable going into a dark theater.
(25:41):
So they're just gonna go. In some words, it's gonna
be comfortable. So they're not worrying too much about the
makeup about them put themselves made up too much, or
gonna look casual. They're gonna be comfortable, and you get
to see them at a very natural look and how
attractive they are and a very natural look. And I
think when guys get to see a physical appearance unnatural,
(26:05):
you're God given blessed appearance, right the way you look
when you wake up out of bed, almost like that.
And so for a woman that you know, there might
be a women that might have hair extensions or weaves
or wigs whatever they might have, or just have your
hair pinned back whatever it is, like, let's see what
you look like when you're not all put together. And
(26:30):
guys will find obviously find women very attractive. Why do
you think that we always find girls that might be
at the grocery store or the launderman, and why are
we so attractive to them? And we just see them
where they're not even made up, but like they get
hit on all the time and they don't understand why
because they feel like, well, the fact that they're not
dulled up like they would be to a club or
(26:51):
a concert or whatever, they're just not out there planning
on it. But then it's the reverse psychology. Okay, guys
really want a girl that's just like, give me what
she looks like without all the extra stuff. No, makeup
just as you are, and that's really what's the attraction.
(27:17):
So they went and researched four hundred and forty five
heterosexual and bisexual users in Germany on dating apps ages
eighteen to thirty five, evenly split between men and women.
The profiles showed to these people were a face and torso, photo, height, job,
(27:38):
IQ score, short biography, and these features were randomly mixed
across profiles along researchers to disentangle their effects on selection decisions,
and the result they saw out of all these decisions
was that physical attractiveness had a massive effect on whether
someone got selected. There were theories in this that they
(28:01):
said that suggested that men prioritize looks more and women
care more about intelligence or occupation, but that both genders
actually showed nearly identical patterns in their matching decisions. Even height,
which is supposed to be affecting men and women, had
a small but positive effect for both groups. Now in
the story, one of the researchers talked about that they
had research before consistently finding gender differences that align with
(28:25):
evolutionary theory that men prioritize physical attractiveness, women place more
importance on a partner's ability to provide, such as having
a good job. But definings here were largely based on
self reports. They created a more realistic dating scenario. People
had to make their actual choices, and they found that
gender differences almost disappeared and both men and women prioritize
physical attractiveness over other attributes. So, yes, people want to
(28:50):
be attracted to who they're with. And what do we
all do when we are attracted with somebody? Yeah, we
want to be intimate with them. We want to kiss,
make out, hold them, have sex with them. So here's
another story that comes in that is very important as
to wrap things up, the amount of sex you should
(29:14):
have in order to make yourself happy. Futurism puts out
this support that they studied almost fifteen thousand Americans and
found people who have sex one to two times once
or twice a week, once or twice a week, or
twenty four percent less likely to show signs of depression.
(29:35):
Even semi frequent activity, which means a few times a month,
the risk of depression cuts by twenty two percent, and
the benefits were the same across race, age, and income.
There were bigger boosts for younger and uninsured people. But
scientists admit they can't prove if more sex fights depression
(29:56):
or feeling better just makes people have more sex. But
the link get strong in either way, and people might
have exagerated a little bit on the surveys. But still,
if you were successfully having one to two times of
sexual acts a week, if you're getting it twice a week,
(30:17):
you're not depressed, and by that point that's a pretty
reasonable number. It's like if you're in a relationship and
your things are going well, especially early on, if you
are not getting it every night, but you're getting it
a couple of times a week, that's pretty satisfactory. Let
me tell you when I think about what would make
me happy, if I had the choice to be hypothetical
(30:40):
and think what would be enough for me to be
happy right to satisfy me? What did you like this? Okay? So,
if I had the chance to have somebody that can
go to listen, however I do it. If I had
somebody I can go to friends of benefits and I
know I can get something from them guaranteed twice a week. Yeah,
(31:04):
I was at when I did get that kind of threshold.
I was doing Okay, I felt comfortable. Still was a
bit lonely, but still I was okay. I wasn't depressed.
And the same thing goes on how you do it. Like, look,
guys can go ahead and go to a massage parlor.
If they can go twice a month, twice a week,
(31:27):
I could say, hey, a couple of times during the week,
every couple of days, they'll go in there, get a
happy ending if they want to something or some might
be erotic, and that's all they need. It's like kind
of giving themselves even keeled. At least they have that
right there. And you think about the fact that, okay
(31:48):
for some people that might have sex multiple times, Like
see if you have a weekend. Let's just say I
had a weekend where there was multiple times of having sex,
and you know what, there was a point where after
that weekend, I could tell you I didn't feel like
doing anything nothing sexual for a month. I was at
(32:10):
least good thirty days without thinking about it. Because then
what happens, even if we're not having sex at the time,
we'll think about those sexual escapades because we're dooming about them,
we're thinking about them, we could fantasize about them, so
it doesn't have to be every day. But it wouldn't
(32:31):
be nice to go ahead and like not just get
the physical bumping unglies like we would want to write,
get back to sexual activity with somebody that we're attractive
with at least if we just have that. Okay, if
there were one nice stands out there or probably just
kind of hooked up in friends with benefits and just
had sex and just enjoy themselves, be a lot more
(32:52):
pappy people in the world. And it doesn't mean women,
you don't have to go ahead and give up on
the whole idea of finding someone that is absolutely your
feeling of well, they need to satisfy me, they need
to be my benefactor. You need to go and provide
for me and give what I want. Remember, there's there
are just guys out there you just want to go
ahead and just hook up with just because yeah, you're
attracted to them, you like them, you want to see
(33:14):
what it's like to be with him in bed, and
so you do it right and just okay, let's go
out there. I'm not going to ask the guy to, like,
you know, give me all these different things. How about
I just want to have a little sex. Maybe I
just want to be a little to praise and de
botress
Podcasting since two thousand and five. This is the King
of Podcasts Radio Network, King of Podcasts dot com. You
want the answer to those depressing dating apps, Well only
sex can save you. We're all a little depraved and debaucherous.
(00:21):
Here is the King of Podcasts. Thank you for joining me.
King of Podcasts. Here with you. King of Podcasts dot
Com is the website seeth on all my content each
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will definitely read it on the next program, happy to
go and do that. If you consider to do that.
If you'd like me to do that, just please let
me know and I'll be happy to go ahead and
make that. So So, I've been kind of off of
dating apps for a while now, more than a few years.
(02:30):
Definitely got out of it before COVID, and I think
a lot of people will really have had the struggle
to get themselves back on there because when that we
had that madeor break it really did break everything up,
and people have not really circled back around to normal
habits of social interaction since then. I don't think it.
I think it's just changed again. Look at what changed
(02:53):
in the last five years. When we got a lot
of reasons for people not to go to the restaurants, Hey,
just go ahead and order in, just get door Dash
or Uber and just get it delivered. That was the
first part, and then we have the lack of the
really anti social behavior when it comes to everybody just
being in themselves used to social distancing and still people
kind of do that because all we're doing is it's
(03:14):
not by the masks, it's by the earbuds and headphones
that we wear everywhere. Everyone is in their own little pod,
in their own mindset, and it's kind of hard to
see where people really feel like they're going to be
in that place and they feel comfortable in that route.
So it's all those kind of things that are happening
now more and more every day. And you ask yourself,
like when you talk about what will make you happy,
(03:36):
what will satisfy you? Make you happy? In love? And
we identified those three areas for a lot of young
people out there, love, sex, and money. So I'm going
to kind of still follow up on that subject from
last week. If you didn't have a chance to listen
to it, please go and find it. It's on the
YouTube channel, it's on the website, and of course you
can find the show on Apple, Podcast, Spotify, YouTube Music, iHeartRadio,
(03:57):
all the different platforms. Right. So, there's a good stories
that come across when we are trying to get on
dating apps and people feeling they want to go and
get themselves off of it because they feel depressed over it.
There's a story in the Guardian that really was interesting.
So there's a story that came in from a reader
to the Guardian in the UK. A forty year old
(04:18):
man using dating apps for eight years met about one
hundred different women, not out of the ones whom I
just chatted. So actual physical dates, first dates, quite a
few second dates and a few short relationships. Nothing stuck.
So eight years on dating apps. This is his experience
in his thirties now into his early forties. When I
(04:40):
read this story, I look at where I was, because
that's exactly what I did up until about forty years old.
I really did try to go ahead and go on
dating apps, and I was doing a lot of first dates.
One he's in my thirties. It was all first dates,
and he said the same way a lot of first dates.
(05:02):
Didn't have a lot of second dates myself, and if
there was somebody I was gonna be with, it's like
things just fizzled out for whatever reason. And part of
it was for me is that I needed to feel
something coming from the relationship. There had to be some reciprocity.
I never felt that in some of those relationships. So
here's what this gentleman says wants to seem to want
(05:25):
a relationship. Everyone is broken, including me. Someone would turn
me down allegedly because I asked to split the bill
on the second date, having paid on the first. Some
turn me down because I want kids and they don't.
Some to me I'm a nice man, after which I
don't hear from them again. I've never coasted anyone, but
I've turned down some good people too. I was trying
(05:45):
to do the right thing by my head and my heart,
and appears everyone is looking for chemistry and not finding it.
And the chemistry part, we're gonna fall back into that
again a little bit later on, because that's going to
go into the part of attractiveness, sex and satisfaction because
I think one of the things that are all tied
in that because the chase for us for men, because
(06:08):
he's chasing too, it's the same thing for both. And
the chase never satisfied me because I could tell you
the difference between my thirties and my forties. In my forties,
I was much more into what is now called situationships,
but there was friends with benefits, and the truth was
(06:31):
I felt more satisfied and friends with benefits to the
fact that I was able to go and have interactions
with multiple women at any given time. And when what
happened was COVID happened, and it just stopped everything that
was what I was used to doing, where I might
(06:52):
going to go just full around and find some strange
It just changed me. But the dating apps at the
end of the day, one of the things that also
concerned me a lot was that I wasn't finding anybody
quality on there anymore. And the time spent for me
to go ahead and find someone to talk to and
talk for months and with one girl up to a year,
(07:16):
I wasn't getting nothing out of those at all. And
sometimes there were possibilities where I met somebody in person,
talked up and then for whatever reason things just fizzled
out after the first date, or I would bail out.
There were a lot of things like that. But then
the other part too was that there was also a
bit of a thing where the money I had to
(07:38):
spend on some friends with benefits because I had to
go find hotel rooms and set up the date, set
up the arrangement. It still comes down to the fact
that I never had a girl I could just go
to her place and just fool around It was never
that I didn't have my own place. I never had
my own place, so roommates were always of an issue,
(07:59):
and I could somebody in just to where I was.
It was always something else I had to work on,
so I had to find a place to go every time.
And it wasn't always easy to get someone that I
wanted to spend time with and bring them to this place.
Because remember when I was in my thirties, I was
working in a different county. Like in many cases, I
(08:20):
was driving down from Palmage County to Broward County, a
good fifty miles runt and back, and so I would
have to go ahead and figure out, Okay, if I
was meeting people that I got to interact with in Broward,
I'd have to go back down the Broward later on
the night. So if I met somebody there during the day,
I would have to go back at night to go
(08:40):
meet up with them. It wasn't never easy to go
go down there during the middle of the day and
go back and see them again. That drive was a lot,
and the setup was a lot, so there was money
being spent on this, but I did get satisfaction. I
felt like, well, I got something out of that because
I always felt like I had to go. I would
find more friends and benefits when I was closer to
my work down there, because there were a lot more
(09:01):
single people and just a lot more opportunities than it
was closer to where I was. Like, the closer I
could find someone near me, the more difficult it was.
To be honest, Like, I had chances of more friends
with benefits when I met people down in a different
county than it was where I was. For me to
have a sustainable friends with benefits, I had to really
(09:23):
go ahead and make the trip. I had to spend
the time and spend the money. So it was the
same thing that's going on a date. But at least
I got laid, maybe not laid all the time, at
least I got something, some satisfaction out of it. I
got the third base, I got serviced. But other than that,
that's all it was. Now in this person's case, Yeah,
(09:45):
you're not gonna get someone to split the bill on
the second date. Trying to go ahead and try to
justify and make some fairness out of this. That's not
gonna work when you've already created precedent. Look, you're gonna
try to go split. You might as do it in
the first date and just say this is the way
it is, and just lay out the framework first, because
if you start changing these up and start getting less
of yourself on the second, third date, no, that's not
(10:06):
gonna work. The fact that the conversation about children on
a first or second date comes up, that's pretty quick.
I wouldn't think about anything like that right away. But
he's looking for a relationship. So it's one of those
things where if you're going into a relationship, like how
much of that do you want to give of yourself?
Like there's girls when I talk to you right now
(10:27):
that talk about relationship with me, and they're just girls
I'm met online. But when there are women that will
go ahead and jump early into like what the future is,
if we're gonna be a couple, if we're gonna get married,
we're gonna have children, the fantasy of that. You'd be
surplised how many women overseas get that kind of idea
right away. And when they do, it's like, well, I
(10:52):
can share as much as I can about myself, and
for me, I don't want to be the twenty questions
guy when it comes to a girl anymore. I don't
want to do the whole get to know you phase
and going that kind of route favorite color, favorite food,
favorite music. Some of that is like nice to know
if we can kind of have that as a reason
to come back to it and talk about it. But
(11:12):
I don't want to go into that in a regular basis.
I can't do it. And that's the part that I've
been trying to figure out the best form of action
on interacting with a girl. That's just going to be
a natural thing when especially it's online, it is so
much easier to do than in person. You can take
(11:34):
the advantage of body language, taking the advantage of how
the person's how the girl's responding to you, or for
the guy, if it's the other way around, it's the response,
it's the subcommunication, it's the interaction. You get a better
chance to know if they are in jive with what
you're talking about, if they feel if you're gelling with them,
(11:55):
if there's a chemistry that's being built up because he
said it right, You do want to find chemistry, and
the chemistry needs to build up more and more and more.
But as somebody doesn't want to go ahead and get
involved in the building that chemistry. That's where I shut out.
I shut down on a girl that doesn't give me
that kind of chemistry, that doesn't want to go towards
that kind of chemistry. Attraction, attraction to let's bond, let's
(12:16):
get together and let's do something, let's have some fun,
and then realize, well, it's more than just that. Now
he talks about how he tried to meet women without
using apps. My friends are married or in long term relationships,
and unfortunately don't know anyone they could match me with.
When I was younger, I worked in a big company.
(12:37):
I went the house parties. Now I'm self employed and
my friends throw baby showers, So I can't meet seeing
women as much. Look, and that's the part where I
don't rely on friends. We know that, Like, if you
have friends, then they can introduce you to people. That's
one thing. But yeah, my point him being at forty
years old, Yeah, everybody he knows is married. Same thing
for me, Like if I had any close friends of mine, yeah,
(13:00):
they're all married with kids, and so I'm not worried
about trying to interact with others or like tag along
with other friends of mine that I know of just
to see what happens. I just don't do it. Everybody's
kind off to her own device. So yeah, everyone's married.
There's no one to go and attached to on that route.
(13:22):
You just have to go ahead and go out and approach.
You have to just go and make the first move
and talk to a lot of girls that will reject you.
Maybe he's not really much into that. He says he's
gone to bars and courageously chatted to the women I fancied.
Sometimes it actually works, but she may just like me
professionally or as a friend, and maybe in a relationship already.
(13:42):
Because that's the other part too. Some of the things
you're gonna get rejected for is the fact that somebody
else will have somebody else. But now we know that
doesn't happen as much. We know we have a lot
more single people out there, but they're not looking for relationships.
And part of it is, too, is that it's the investment.
(14:03):
When guys are much more comfortable being single than ever
and women have a different intent or expectations from a
guy that the love that they give is not enough.
It's got to be how much money do you give me,
how much support and how much of a benefactor. You
are being more of a benefactor than a lover. Is
where a lot of younger women are falling into right now.
(14:28):
So on the apps, all the women are single, a
good star, he says. But then the corrosive activity of swiping, chatting, meeting,
rejecting or mostly being rejected became too much and he
considered suicide. He deleted the absenstead of himself. He says,
he wished he could afford counting, but it's too expensive.
In the National Health Service in England, by the way,
(14:50):
where he's at talking, therapies appear to be reserved for
people who are struggling more than me, which is understandable.
So yeah, he had a real issue about trying to
figure out what to do with himself because the rejection
was becoming too much for him, and the struggle, plus
that feeling of like, well, I'm forty years old, I'm
(15:11):
at the middle of my life and I have no
one to celebrate my life with and celebrate love with.
That loneliness for some people really hits hard. I know that.
The thing because one of the things I do for
myself is that I keep myself real busy, so I
have my full time work, my part time work, and
I do the work right here on this podcast and
(15:33):
the other podcasts that I do, so all that takes
up a lot of my time, among other things that
I have to do. But I can't just have a
whole lot of empty time and just time just to
do random recreational things. I can't just have leisure time,
because then I'm going to have time just to think
about the fact of well, I'm lonely anybody to spend
(15:56):
this with, and all those kind of things. Even the
struggle of trying to go out and do vacations, that's
very tough, So Analysa Barbieri. In this Acardian article, she
talks to the author of Tell Me the Truth about Love,
Susannah Apps, a couple ps psychotherapists, and in the UK,
(16:18):
an estimated eight percent of people now find their long
term partners on apps, and the older your are, the
more likeliness will be. But when you're on dating apps,
while you might have people that are single, it's also
a highly pressurized setting because people could be very anxious
about rejection as they avoid showing interest. And she also
(16:41):
wonders whether quote open hardness and a willingness to look
for friendship are actually as important as chemistry in media.
Physical attraction is great, but perhaps chemistry also develops over time.
The person is interesting and crucially interested in you, So
are you interesting or are you curious about those you meet? Well,
that's the part where I got to understand where Susan's
(17:04):
saying this right here. But part of it is to
me that if you want to find someone that has chemistry,
when especially when you're younger, the chemistry starts from the attraction,
because that's the first thing you get, is the immediate
physical attraction, and then there are things that you're gonna
learn about somebody that are gonna make them attracted to you.
(17:25):
Women will always say, oh, well there's a man as
he's smart, he's got you know, a good work ethic
that will be attractive to her. We already know that's
more than that, but that's also tying into the fact
that now guys that hear, oh he's got a great
worth work ethic, he's really strong, he's really smart. You know,
he's get up and go kind of guy. So they
(17:48):
want to motivated man because they know that means he's
making money or he's gonna work really hard for someone
he loves. But then how much work is the woman
going to do to make him, make her make him
love her? Not much? Now the other part of the
offline dating, So the story that came in from Day's
(18:10):
Digital talking about dating offline and getting back to that
again trying to turn things back around. So there are
now alternative apps and events that are promising to take
dating offline again. They're growing in popularity. But this is
the new thing with the dating apps right now, where
you still have the try and true dating apps that
(18:31):
are now charging much more than ever, with Hinge and
tender offering premium plans or basically matchmaking services. Now the
a dating apps in the UK have been dipping a lot.
So here's what we have in TWENTYWOY three. These stats
that they have right here. Tenderhead lost six hundred thousand users,
Hinge one hundred and thirty one thousand, Bumble three hundred
(18:53):
and sixty eight thousand. So young people are for going
online dating, they don't want to do it. I think
they can mention of a couple different dating apps that
are out there. There is Breeze, which takes online dating offline.
You're block Froom chatting with matches until you meet face
to face on your first date. Left Field, which is
available in New York right now, is a dating app
(19:14):
designed to help you meet people in the wild, and
users are in a pushed onification when a potential match
is in their vicinity. Right, there's that, then there's happen
happn In a similar way, users are able to connect
with the other users they have crossed paths with in
real life. But remember all these dating apps are spread out,
so it's not that you're gonna have the biggest concentration
of people being on one app. That's the part is
(19:36):
really difficult about all this is that there's not that
many single people on there anymore, and so the choices
available are slim. You have slim pickets on all these
sites now except for the major ones, which is why
they would around the longest when it comes to Tender
or a hinge match, dot com, all those. So you
(19:57):
have these apps that trying to get people to go
more off line. Then they have their events as well,
and some of the examples they show right here. Breeze
allows you to see seven profiles a day, so you're
unable to spend hours to bond ly swiping through profiles
like you would on hinge left field, trying to add
some more spot in eety back to dating and prevent
(20:18):
people from getting stuck in dreaded talking stages that go nowhere,
So they offer speeding events. The problem is right now
is that you can't get people to go back to
dating in person like you used to because technology has
changed it. The dating technology that kept people to stay
on dating apps and swipe away, you can't turn that
back around. It doesn't matter how you get a new
(20:41):
generation that changes things up, it just doesn't change like that.
So there was a book from Marie Bergstrom, a sociologists
in twenty twenty once she wrote The New Laws of Love,
talking about the privatization of intimacy. So describe the way
in which the growth of online dating has catalyzed the
culture where finding love is that increasingly is an activity
(21:02):
increasingly carried out in private spaces outside of the public sphere.
So some studies claim that relationships would be given offline
are more stable and satisfying the relationship's formed via apps,
but also unhealthy for us to be so rigid about
who we date and where we meet them. And Berkshire
had told The Guardian in twenty twenty two, quote, we
(21:23):
need to think about what it means to be in
a society that has moved inside and closed down. She
says here us, Well, just like I said, you can't
put the genie back in the bottle. I too, live
in our dating app poisoned world, and now how hard
it is to now approach someone in the wild. And
I know it's not as simple as sitting around and
looking mysterious in cafes. I know I could feel scary
(21:44):
to confessed feelings for a friend, But do we really
need to get third parties involved? And as human beings,
we've already come equipped with everything we need to find love.
We don't need gimmicky apps or dating events. I'm not
deluded enough to pretend that means everybody on earth is
guaranteed to have a rom com worthy meet cute one day.
But at risk its sound like a Richard Curtis character.
(22:05):
I do think it's the least possible to find love
anywhere if you're really open to it. There's a lot
more of that it's being said in this story, but
part of it is that we are at a point
where if you're struggling to go ahead and date in
person or date online, it still comes down to one
(22:27):
thing that is guaranteed that will always get things going,
that you have a good chance of being able to
go ahead and find someone. The psychology says it all so.
A new study that was published in Constributers and Human
Behavior Reporting Human Behavior purports they learned that when it
(22:47):
comes to online dating, physical appearance overwhelmingly determines who gets matched.
They analyze five thousand swiping decisions made by real dating
app users at researchers discovered that improving a person's attractiveness
increases their chances of being selected for more than any
other trait like intelligence, height, or occupation, and men and
women in value these traits in nearly identical ways, challenging
(23:09):
long Hell believes about gender differences in mat preferences. Let
me also add to that, you want to find attractive
to somebody men, I am pretty sure you know that
if you find a girl that you go out on
a date withhe you meet at a club or whatever
it is, you're gonna find the girl who has just
been taking a lot of time, taking many hours to
(23:31):
put herself together the right outfit, the right clothes, the
right accessories, the right makeup, the right hair. She has
put herself together as best as you can, really peacocked
yourself up, a real peacock, look right, attention, getting come hither. Look,
that's the idea, but that's not how she is all
(23:53):
the time. What you really want to find out. And
the girls that will be on these dating apps, they're
gonna put their best pictures forward, or they'll put filters
behind them, whether they can to kind of disguise or
kind of just take away the focus on how they look.
We know a lot of girls that do that. Might
(24:15):
take a picture of their body, but then like they're
taking the picture where they're holding the camera up and
they're not putting the phone down to take the picture.
They're just taking it like a selfie and they don't
move their face so it can be seen in the
mirror or be seen how they're doing it. And I'm
doing reverse selfie either. Think about if you go on
any dating apps right now or even the Cuggar Dedy sites,
(24:38):
how many girls take good pictures of themselves that are
not staged. Then it look like Instagram photos and something
on only fans that a girl can just take natural
pictures of herself and you really get to see her
in a real light. So I'm gonna give a little
secret here. One of the things I always do with
(24:58):
a girl when I'm trying to get and know or
is I want to see you what you look like
in casual clothes. So don't give me anything in the dress,
don't give anything in laugerie, nothing like that. What do
you look like in a pair of jeans and a shirt,
A real simple casual look. You know, for a lot
of times when you look at people that are dating
(25:19):
and look, I go to the movie theaters all the time,
and the movie theater, everybody's there looking comfortable. And girls, man,
more times than not when I see them going in
the movie theater jeans and a shirt or some kind
of time whatever it is, or leggings or whatever, but
it's like very casual, comfortable going into a dark theater.
(25:41):
So they're just gonna go. In some words, it's gonna
be comfortable. So they're not worrying too much about the
makeup about them put themselves made up too much, or
gonna look casual. They're gonna be comfortable, and you get
to see them at a very natural look and how
attractive they are and a very natural look. And I
think when guys get to see a physical appearance unnatural,
(26:05):
you're God given blessed appearance, right the way you look
when you wake up out of bed, almost like that.
And so for a woman that you know, there might
be a women that might have hair extensions or weaves
or wigs whatever they might have, or just have your
hair pinned back whatever it is, like, let's see what
you look like when you're not all put together. And
(26:30):
guys will find obviously find women very attractive. Why do
you think that we always find girls that might be
at the grocery store or the launderman, and why are
we so attractive to them? And we just see them
where they're not even made up, but like they get
hit on all the time and they don't understand why
because they feel like, well, the fact that they're not
dulled up like they would be to a club or
(26:51):
a concert or whatever, they're just not out there planning
on it. But then it's the reverse psychology. Okay, guys
really want a girl that's just like, give me what
she looks like without all the extra stuff. No, makeup
just as you are, and that's really what's the attraction.
(27:17):
So they went and researched four hundred and forty five
heterosexual and bisexual users in Germany on dating apps ages
eighteen to thirty five, evenly split between men and women.
The profiles showed to these people were a face and torso, photo, height, job,
(27:38):
IQ score, short biography, and these features were randomly mixed
across profiles along researchers to disentangle their effects on selection decisions,
and the result they saw out of all these decisions
was that physical attractiveness had a massive effect on whether
someone got selected. There were theories in this that they
(28:01):
said that suggested that men prioritize looks more and women
care more about intelligence or occupation, but that both genders
actually showed nearly identical patterns in their matching decisions. Even height,
which is supposed to be affecting men and women, had
a small but positive effect for both groups. Now in
the story, one of the researchers talked about that they
had research before consistently finding gender differences that align with
(28:25):
evolutionary theory that men prioritize physical attractiveness, women place more
importance on a partner's ability to provide, such as having
a good job. But definings here were largely based on
self reports. They created a more realistic dating scenario. People
had to make their actual choices, and they found that
gender differences almost disappeared and both men and women prioritize
physical attractiveness over other attributes. So, yes, people want to
(28:50):
be attracted to who they're with. And what do we
all do when we are attracted with somebody? Yeah, we
want to be intimate with them. We want to kiss,
make out, hold them, have sex with them. So here's
another story that comes in that is very important as
to wrap things up, the amount of sex you should
(29:14):
have in order to make yourself happy. Futurism puts out
this support that they studied almost fifteen thousand Americans and
found people who have sex one to two times once
or twice a week, once or twice a week, or
twenty four percent less likely to show signs of depression.
(29:35):
Even semi frequent activity, which means a few times a month,
the risk of depression cuts by twenty two percent, and
the benefits were the same across race, age, and income.
There were bigger boosts for younger and uninsured people. But
scientists admit they can't prove if more sex fights depression
(29:56):
or feeling better just makes people have more sex. But
the link get strong in either way, and people might
have exagerated a little bit on the surveys. But still,
if you were successfully having one to two times of
sexual acts a week, if you're getting it twice a week,
(30:17):
you're not depressed, and by that point that's a pretty
reasonable number. It's like if you're in a relationship and
your things are going well, especially early on, if you
are not getting it every night, but you're getting it
a couple of times a week, that's pretty satisfactory. Let
me tell you when I think about what would make
me happy, if I had the choice to be hypothetical
(30:40):
and think what would be enough for me to be
happy right to satisfy me? What did you like this? Okay? So,
if I had the chance to have somebody that can
go to listen, however I do it. If I had
somebody I can go to friends of benefits and I
know I can get something from them guaranteed twice a week. Yeah,
(31:04):
I was at when I did get that kind of threshold.
I was doing Okay, I felt comfortable. Still was a
bit lonely, but still I was okay. I wasn't depressed.
And the same thing goes on how you do it. Like, look,
guys can go ahead and go to a massage parlor.
If they can go twice a month, twice a week,
(31:27):
I could say, hey, a couple of times during the week,
every couple of days, they'll go in there, get a
happy ending if they want to something or some might
be erotic, and that's all they need. It's like kind
of giving themselves even keeled. At least they have that
right there. And you think about the fact that, okay
(31:48):
for some people that might have sex multiple times, Like
see if you have a weekend. Let's just say I
had a weekend where there was multiple times of having sex,
and you know what, there was a point where after
that weekend, I could tell you I didn't feel like
doing anything nothing sexual for a month. I was at
(32:10):
least good thirty days without thinking about it. Because then
what happens, even if we're not having sex at the time,
we'll think about those sexual escapades because we're dooming about them,
we're thinking about them, we could fantasize about them, so
it doesn't have to be every day. But it wouldn't
(32:31):
be nice to go ahead and like not just get
the physical bumping unglies like we would want to write,
get back to sexual activity with somebody that we're attractive
with at least if we just have that. Okay, if
there were one nice stands out there or probably just
kind of hooked up in friends with benefits and just
had sex and just enjoy themselves, be a lot more
(32:52):
pappy people in the world. And it doesn't mean women,
you don't have to go ahead and give up on
the whole idea of finding someone that is absolutely your
feeling of well, they need to satisfy me, they need
to be my benefactor. You need to go and provide
for me and give what I want. Remember, there's there
are just guys out there you just want to go
ahead and just hook up with just because yeah, you're
attracted to them, you like them, you want to see
(33:14):
what it's like to be with him in bed, and
so you do it right and just okay, let's go
out there. I'm not going to ask the guy to, like,
you know, give me all these different things. How about
I just want to have a little sex. Maybe I
just want to be a little to praise and de
botress
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