The Death of the Dating Game. Is It Gen Z's Fault

In a rapidly evolving digital landscape, the dating world has witnessed a significant shift, particularly with the emergence of Generation Z (Gen Z). Born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s, Gen Z has grown up in a technology-driven era, wielding smartphones and social media as their primary means of communication. According to a report published by Tinder, a leading dating app, Gen Z is challenging the traditional dynamics of dating, revolutionizing the way people connect, and potentially heralding the end of dating games.
Authenticity and Transparency:
Gen Z is characterized by a desire for authenticity and transparency in their relationships. They are increasingly seeking genuine connections and are less interested in engaging in mind games or superficial interactions. This generation values honesty, directness, and open communication. Dating platforms like Tinder have responded to this shift by introducing features such as "verified profiles" and prompts that encourage users to showcase their true selves.
Casual Dating and Non-Traditional Relationships:
Gen Z's approach to dating is more fluid and open-minded compared to previous generations. They are more inclined towards casual dating, embracing non-traditional relationships, and rejecting rigid labels. This generation values personal freedom and explores diverse options without the pressure of commitment. As a result, dating apps have seen a rise in features like "friends with benefits" or "non-monogamous" preferences to cater to these evolving relationship dynamics.
Digital Dating Culture:
Gen Z has grown up with social media, which has greatly influenced their perception of relationships. Online platforms have become an integral part of their dating experiences. These platforms offer a space for Gen Z to express themselves, share experiences, and discover potential partners beyond their immediate social circles. Apps like Tinder provide a convenient avenue to meet new people and establish connections, allowing for a broader range of romantic possibilities.
Empowerment and Inclusivity:
Gen Z's dating preferences reflect their progressive mindset. This generation is passionate about social justice, inclusivity, and gender equality. They are more likely to prioritize partners who share their values and beliefs. Additionally, Gen Z is actively challenging societal norms and stereotypes related to gender roles and sexuality. This has led to a greater acceptance of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and non-binary expressions within the dating sphere.
The Potential End of Dating Games:
With the rise of Gen Z's influence on dating, there is a growing possibility of the demise of traditional dating games. Gen Z's emphasis on authenticity and directness has created an environment where individuals are encouraged to express their intentions clearly and openly. This shift reduces ambiguity and allows for more genuine connections to form. Additionally, the rejection of conventional relationship norms and the embrace of casual dating minimize the need for manipulative tactics and mind games that were prevalent in previous generations.
In conclusion, Gen Z's impact on the dating landscape cannot be underestimated. Through their emphasis on authenticity, non-traditional relationships, and digital dating culture, they are reshaping the way people connect and interact. Dating apps like Tinder are adapting to meet the evolving needs of this generation, providing platforms that prioritize transparency and inclusivity. While the end of dating games may not be absolute, Gen Z's approach to relationships has undoubtedly ushered in a new era of dating, one that is more open, honest, and reflective of their values.
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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
We are all a little depraved anddebaucherous. Here is the King of podcasts.
Welcome to d D. This iskeep a podcast here with you.
Website is dd Radio dot Live andof course you can find the show subscribe.
Please rate and review Apple podcasts,Amazon, Spotify, Google Podcasts wherever

(00:25):
you find them Spotify and Apple podcastsspecifically, please do that so we can
go and get more of the wordout there on this program, which all
of you do take time to listento, and I really appreciate the audience
that checks in the show. Everyweek. We're going to talk about the
death of the dating game and thegenerations, the impact the young people and
the way they're changing dating altogether.And I don't know what's changing. If

(00:48):
there's just something where the peers,you know who it's older than them.
You know, we have that generationalgap right now. We're millennials. You
know. The older brothers, oldersisters, and his nephews weren't really a
good help when it comes to datingbecause of their mistakes. I put to
like this, So I had alot of cousins that were older than me,

(01:12):
you know now they're many of themwere remarried, but for a handful
of cousins of mine and one ofmy brothers. They all got married early
mid to late twenties, and insnificant ways, they dated someone that were

(01:36):
with and went to the proper thingand went and married, and some did
have kids as a result, butfor whatever reason, the marriages did not
last. This is the nineties,by the way, and then for what
a reason, all of them wouldget into different relationships after that, and
then would get into something more stablecoming into this decade, into the twenty

(01:59):
tenths, into the twenty twenties.I'm Generation X, and for me,
you know, dating was different.You know, you could go ahead and
date. We didn't completely get ourselvesattached, at least until eighteen years old,
until I got into college. Ireally didn't use computers during the Internet
because it wasn't really available to mewhere I was at in a small town.

(02:21):
When I moved into you know,the interns of the intern of Palmidge
County, West Palm Beach, andI moved over here and I went to
college fau for Atlantic and I wasable to get in front of computers with
the Internet. Whole different story,but it still took a while for me
to go and get into regularly beingon the internet, having the DSL in

(02:44):
the mid nineties and then being ableto go ahead and move around and navigate
and use websites. Up until basicallythe iPhone, dating apps were not anything
of anything. But that's what changedat all. It's funny. I watched
the BlackBerry movie two weeks ago.Great movie, by the way, you

(03:05):
know, the story about how thatwas the phone that was the talk of
the talk in two thousand and six, two thousand and five, the Crackberry,
and then everything changing with the iPhoneat the app store and all that
they did. And we're sixteen yearsafter that up to iPhone fourteen and look
at what's happened. Everything has goneupside down. Apple basically single handled the

(03:30):
changed the way the dating him is. And now we're going to the sixteenth
year with the iPhone all these datingapps. We have a completely different generation
of users and adopters going on todating apps and they're not doing it the
same way. The dating game isgone. It's dead, and if there

(03:50):
is a dating game, it's nota fun game to play anymore. It's
it's actually not fair. Whatever wasfair, but now it's even worse.
Than ever was before, and that'sa problem. So there's a couple of
stories that took that really did putthe whole thing across. Now, when
I let chat GBT write about this, they said that there's a growing possibility
to demise the traditional dating games.Gen Z has an emphasis on authenticity and

(04:15):
directness and that as we're individuals arein creag to express or intentions clearly and
opening. This is why we weretalking about goblin mode a few weeks ago.
Oh yeah, it's be yourself becauseI remember there was a time where
you were dating and you were kindof filling a role, but then you
eventually did that in order to thenadapt and then adopt and then to evolve
into who you really are, Likeyou did what you need to do to

(04:39):
attract the main attractive partner, andthen you started growing up who who you
really were, your real habits.You're able to go and be yourself,
but you had to play this datinggame in order to be attractive in order
to attract. Well, now that'swhat they're seeing here that gen Z doesn't
want to do that anymore. Theydon't want to take the effort. I
don't want to see as so muchLad easy as it is. It's like

(05:00):
this idea of that dating doesn't matteror love and relationships don't really matter.
It's not like they're all of asudden wanting to get into love and they're
really doing that. But there's thiswhole thought process of how dating is still
supposed to be a thing and thosethat do try to date are being ruined

(05:23):
horribly by the acts of dating,and how boys are not acting like boys
anymore. The masculinity of boys isdropping a lot. You can see that
because there's this idea where I don'tsee to swmuch of women and young girls,
but like young boys, you couldjust tell they're not out there doing

(05:44):
the things that we did even youknow, decades before, but decade before.
They're not going out of the playthey're not outdoors doing stuff. They're
not you know, playing sports orbeing athletic or competing with each other.
It's a lot of video games outof anime, a lot of comic books,
a lot of just internal stuff,and a lot of online and not

(06:06):
actual interaction human person the person interactionat all. When social media takes up
all the timing because it was socialmedia, It's like, well, now
young girls want to go and competewith everyone, every other young girl out
there in the world, which isimpossible to do. The beauty standards now

(06:27):
become heightened to a point where it'sall impossibilities. All these young people,
you're not going to get to accomplishall these things that everybody else does.
The status seeking, the posing.We see it in Florida where I'm out
in South Florida. It's ground zero. You can't do it. It's impossible.
But we didn't have these kind ofexpectations. We just had the expectations
we saw around us, and that'sall that mattered. But now it's changed

(06:51):
and it's so much different than before. It's unfortunate. But now we're at
this point where gen Z and theirimpact on dating landscape has been cannot be
underestimated. They want authenticity digital datingculture. They re should be the way
people connect to interact. Tender andother dating apps are adapting the meat the

(07:14):
evolving needs platforms that prioritize transparency,inclusivity. Now they say the end of
it. Then gain has may notbe absolute, according to chatsy BT and
I asked, but the approach torelationships is undoubtedly ushered in a new air
of dating more open, honest,and reflected to their values. But nobody
wants that off the front. Letme tell you this. Let me let
me be clear. I tried tobe honest in relationships. I try to

(07:40):
be as honest and open and astransparent as I could possibly be. You
know what, women didn't want tohear it because it wasn't as much I
mean, it would be the attractionwhere listen, I'm an average attraction.
Okay, I am not putting myselfup there on a pedestal. No,
I'm of average attraction, and Iknow that someoneman that might feel a little
bit different about me, and thatwould be nice. I don't really run

(08:01):
across them too much. But mything is I had to work off personality
to really persuade and really get togetherwith a girl that I was really interested
in. But for the most part, that girl wasn't interested in me.
If I told her what I wasinto, I mean, I'm in the
radio, I'm into television. Imean, I'm not necessarily you know,

(08:22):
I wasn't into journalism at the time. It wasn't necessarily anything exciting or fun
about it, especially not until theInternet came in. Radio mode was really
interested until podcasting came in, andthen podcasting, Oh that sounds so cool.
But if I said anyway, ifI told me when I was into
radio and I I was a journalist, didn't care it matter, It wasn't
important. So what I did fora living didn't really make much of a

(08:45):
difference. And at that point inmy teens and twenties, I haven't gone
out anywhere. I haven't done anytraveling. I haven't really done anything in
terms of much. All I dois I input it. I took in
a lot of movies, a lotof music, a lot of TV.
But that's the stuff I could talkabout. But it wasn't everybody, so
there wasn't a lot. I couldtalk about a lot of things to a

(09:07):
lot of people, a lot oflike minded conversations, so it was different.
I wasn't a big drinker, Ididn't smoke, I didn't do drugs.
I mean, I was just differenton that. Now there's a purity
part that the gen Z also doesas well. But there are some people
that try to go and do datingbecause that's just what they see a movie.
They just come out. They're tryingto replicate, but not totally into

(09:31):
it and the boys the expectations theyhave and what they see, whether it's
in movies in animation or anime ormangas of the reading or the movies they
watch or the musically listen to,and what are they're getting in terms of

(09:52):
thought process, Like you know,there's these there are things that are being
told and certain things that certain peersare getting in their heads. That's acceptable,
And I'm like, all right,well it's really clouding the judgment,
clouding the clear path for a manto be successful, for a man to
find a beautiful woman or a womanthat they like and be attracted to.

(10:16):
Now here's what's going on. Inoticed that the people that are kind of
like minded that you know, likethe nerds or like myself, they're starting
to get an easier go of meetingeach other and dating because of doing it
on the internet actually just worked betterfor them and they find a way to
go and connect. Well when itis the popular people and it's like the

(10:37):
everyday people that will be able togo out and a young girl is you
know, attractive and beautiful and justhas natural remember a young girl out there
and not being able to go andfind a good guy and not having the
right direction or any kind of anykind of structure to go outside and have
some male or female or dominant orsubmissive, you know, guidance and mentorship

(11:03):
to know how to pick the rightperson for them. For young girls,
it shouldn't be that hard. You'renot having to work that hard on the
makeup, you don't have to workthat hard on the clothes. It's like
teens and twenties. It should beeasy. Honestly, I know it was
for me to find plenty of girlsthat I thought were beautiful, plenty,

(11:24):
and I thought we would have athing where people were more more acceptable of
each other, more accepting of eachother. But I guess not because social
media changed that. If social mediawasn't around, if we didn't have social
media, different story, I thinkwe didn't have that, it would be
a game changer. But nobody doesthat. Everybody's gonna be on so so
mania. For some reason, Ikeep seeing myself like I use it as

(11:46):
a necessary evil, Like I reallydon't care what I see on social media.
It doesn't really see anything. Icould get information off of it.
I can learn some things and Ican get something like TikTok is one thing
I feel like really does give mevalue, and I feel like I'm not
wasting my time when I get onthere because I'm not taking a whole lot
of time on it, but Iget a lot from it. I get
to really learn the culture from that. So when I look at what's going

(12:09):
on, Mashable puts a brewery interestingsorry about gen Z challenge you the way
we date, and Tender put outa report about it. So Tender has
a future Dating Report for twenty twentythree. They summarize that we are entering
a dating renaissance driven by gen Z'sdesire to disrupt dating and the relationship norms

(12:30):
carved out by previous generations. Here'swhat they learned. Eighteen to twenty five
year olds they make up more thanfifty Tender's user base. So if you
want to get any marketing, youwant to get anything in front of people
eighteen to twenty five, men,women, non binary, you go to
Tinder. Seventy five of these genZ feel their challenging dating and relationship standards

(12:54):
that were passed down to them.Over half of millennials surveyed think dating is
healthier for eighteen to twenty five yearold than it was when they were their
age. I don't agree. Ithink the more and more we have social
media, the more it becomes harderfor the dating game to happen because it's
so much exposed out there too.I mean, there's enough women and I

(13:16):
love guys out there that talk abouttheir dating lines and what they experience that
you kind of know everything, Likenobody can get past you anything these days.
Ages thirty three to thirty eight ofthem said dating games said just playing
hard to get, giving mixed signalswere widely because they're to be normal when
they were eighteen to twenty five,which was for me too. Yes,

(13:37):
mixed signals, playing hard to get, that's not happening anymore. But the
thing is we're not getting playing hardto get at all. What we're getting
is not playing at all, givingup, surrendering to the dating game and
mixed signals. That's because some peopledon't want to be in it. And

(13:58):
now women don't want to play theplaying hard to get. They don't want
to give the mixed signals. Whatthey want are unicorns. The bulk of
women, I'm gonna say more thanhalf, they want the unicorn. They
want attraction, appeal, success,wealth, in some cases are well off.

(14:22):
They want everything. Meanwhile, thewomen have been positioned in programs to
say, well, they don't haveto do with their effort if they don't
want to. And even the onesthat do put in the work, they're
struggling and they can't find what theywant because there's not enough of those guys
for them. There are plenty ofbeautiful women out there, plenty. I

(14:43):
go by them all every day,almost every other day, and I see
what's out there. Listen, it'snot like the clothes or any different.
Listen. I see a lot ofgirls now and jim ware. They're in
legging, joga pants. You know, they're just down. They still look
great, still beautiful. I mean, there's a lot of girls that at

(15:05):
least have done the right thing wherewhen they're young, they haven't done anything
to like, you know, startall through the look or degrading their look.
A lot of young beautiful girls outthere, but you know, we
don't have the things where we usedto have play hard to get where.
In this story, they say thatfor eighteen to twenty five year olds,
a third of them are less likento ghost. Someone over the age of

(15:26):
thirty three, and they don't haveto worry about waiting hours or days to
respond to a message. To playit cool, that's the other part,
the whole thing of waiting to geta call or a text or whatever.
If you're not getting that instagramification ofan answer back, well that's gone.
That's gone to seventy seven percent ofusers on tender responsible match within thirty minutes,

(15:50):
forty within five minutes. How aboutthat. Because we're all tapped into
our phones and we get the messages, we get them indications seventy percent a
Tender users responsible match within thirty minutes. So what about those that don't get
any matches at all or any responsesout out? As I talked about authenticity,

(16:12):
well that's at the top of thelist when younger daters are looking for.
Seventy percent of gen Z prioritize respectand partners, almost eighty percent prizing
loyalty as an important quality. Sixtyone percent value open mindedness. Now we
don't Also, this is not theentire swath of people on Tender. Let's
make sure of that. It's theones that we're surveying. So gen Z

(16:37):
is using Tender a lot, agroup that continues to influence society challenging with
dorms in the most profound of ways. Well, let me tell you I
met on tender in a little bit, because I could tell you have to
be between eighteen and twenty five toreally play in it. And remember,
you're not going to find that manyof your light minded unless you go outside

(17:00):
your area. For some of thempeople to think, oh, well,
we need to go and look twentymiles, two hundred miles, other states,
other countries to find something they wantto be with, then I really
think that's the actual case. Idon't like that it's happening like that,
but it is, and it's unfortunate. Son, who I want to take

(17:21):
us from psychologist Today the harsh realityevent face on dating apps because the dating
issues really affect men the most.Women are affected by the fact that their
expectations now are at a fever pitchat it's such a high filter. There's
no such thing as a middle ground. There's no such thing as taking someone
for their quality, their relationship,for their personality, for who they are

(17:45):
and who the want they contribute andwhat I compreout a personal quality person they
are. It's all superficial now morethan ever for women is superficial and it's
much more resources and access to whatthey want and what they can get from

(18:06):
said guy or girl or whatever.Do you think I'm kidding? Do you
want to see think that I would? I would say that, and I'm
you know that You don't realize that'sactually happening. Look at the writing it
is. It's absolutely working like that. By the way, how about our
brand new canteen this Adita's water bottlea court. It's all chrome and its

(18:29):
double walled. Oh I love thisthing. Game changer for me. Bought
it at Ross for fifteen bucks.It was one tho. I'll love it
so happy to get it. Soback to psychology today. So reason data
suggests physical attractiveness exceeds warmth, intelligenceand income and women's preferences. Keep this

(18:52):
in mind, this is the studies. Now we're going through facts. Now
we're actually going through science and research. This is not me trying to go
in do like you know, I'msaying everyone doesn't is like I don't need
a man, and I'm not oneof these alpha male radio shows here like
understand, I'm not doing that.I'm honestly trying to be here as an

(19:15):
older counterpart Uncle King a podcast here, Okay, trying to help out all
of you at my age or younger, going through what I'm understood, going
the interactions I've learned and all theresearch I've done to offer some kind of
help here or just some kind ofguidance or something just to give you,
like, hey, listen, you'renot alone. There's a lot of people

(19:37):
that are single and a lot ofpeople that are in relationships that are struggling
the relationships are not a happy orare they like to just listen to this
and say, hey, you knowwhat is he saying? What's this the
PREI the Vatrus thing all about?Because if you're not in a happy,
sensible, loving relationship, you're basicallythe preithan the batrus in some way,
shape or form. Does it meanhas to be sexual? But it's true.

(20:00):
We all are. I know Iam. I'm eight number one the
praised in the Batress. I calledit the show and there is some publicating
didn't app back of data excuse meto suggests the high concesses of the most
attractive users and datters should strike upa conversation between twenty four hours on a
dating app. So the UK appusers spent up to almost an hour day

(20:23):
perusing profiles and users typical turn ofthe app for shorter bursts of time in
the morning and the evening hinge twentythree million users, time constraints and sheer
number perceived matches. Repple gets aspeed in each scenario. What does the
impact of physical attractiveness, income,warmth and intelligence on female deating purpoces in

(20:45):
this scenario, Well, they're goingthrough a study from professor his name is
Wolson from twenty twenty. Given theprimacy of photos and limited time spent on
each profiles have been privileged physical attractivenessabove every other variable characteristics like income,

(21:06):
intelligence, and warmth. We're onlywaited after establishment. It was a physical
attraction bingo. We've been asking aboutthis for a long time. Here is
the answer. So take that.This is by the way, e Harmony
Labs that has put out there's Addictedto Love is their survey is their study
surveying. So it's out there andit's explaining it. So if you didn't

(21:30):
know this, this is the case, I'm going to go to your harmony
right now and talk about it.Of singles feel as if they're not good
enough for the people they're interested in. Eight percent have more than fifteen conversations
on the go at once correct,it does really make much of a matter
at all. Now back to itsI called today. The bottom line is

(21:53):
that data gaps don't have to appearto have given a leg up to those
perceived this less physically attractive bingo.It's only about how you look the hot
or not dynamic that came back whatin the nineties round plenty of fish,
hot or not, remember that gotall popular and that's what basically became what

(22:15):
was the the early indicator, theearly pioneering which would end up being tender
and Tender has been around for overa decade. We actually talked about that
on the program. There was ananalysis by Hinge engineer Aviv Golden geyear and
was widely reported but now deleted intwenty seventeen. They suggested that men in

(22:36):
they shape matches three times more oftenthan the women, and a fifty percent
of their attempts are likes with justthe twenty five percent of the women on
the app at that time, morethan fifty percent of women's likes just with
the fifteen percent of men, andthe biggest opportunity for the greatest number of
men is to facilstrate their personality warmthand went on the profile, responding to
the prompts or drafting charming about mesections, and trying to create an emotional

(23:00):
connection between twenty four and twenty hoursafter matching out a dating app, especially
on something like a bumble where onlywomen can initiate conversations and matches disappear after
twenty four hours. And three tipsthey talk about in this story is knowing
physical attracts is still central on datingapps. Choose four to six photos of
your favorites for great lighting, creatingaging captions that are authentic, and conserve

(23:23):
the foster communication and strike up aconversation between twenty four hours of matching.
That's what you have to do now. And they even say the story that
dating seems to be harder for agrowing number of men who may be chronically
and involuntarily single and sexist. I'mone. It's just that's how it works.

(23:45):
It's by not like I wanted tobe like this, but we just
there's a lot of men like methat have just given up. We just
stopped, and younger people stopping dating. Ss Shane I don't like it to
be like this, and I don'twant to be like those alpha male shows
that like, oh well you justdo it without and just you know,
oh you make yourself successful and getricher and get buff and get muscular,

(24:07):
and then the women are gonna havecome to you well you know what or
whatever, but that's gonna be likenothing. You ain't gonna find anyone to
marry at all. And like,you know, then there's the passport pros,
right, they go out and wherevercountries they have to go find someone
that's a wife. We shouldn't haveto be doing this, but that's the
problem now and it's greatly unfortunate,but what else can we do. I

(24:30):
don't like it like this, butwe have no choice anyway. That's the
show tonight. Thank you for listeningto the Prison Debatras, which is part
of the King of Podcasts Radio network. Of course, all my programming is
at dd radio dot live. That'sthe website for those show and then ask
for everything else. You can findyours truly and all my content over at

(24:55):
King of Podcasts dot com. Kingof Podcasts dot com, which is where
everything's at and you can find everythingabout going with me and what I'm doing
with the show a regular basis,And remember you can always catch shows every
here every week. If you wantto go and ask anything here on the
program, please go ahead and followmy YouTube Acting of Podcasts. I'm also

(25:18):
on Twitter, Facebook and stacrambed,LinkedIn and TikTok acting A Podcasts and until
next week, no come back,and just remember that you know you can
try to deny it. Even thoughyou're trying to down dating apps, you're
trying to find somebody good. Youfeel like you're upstanding. But if you're
single, you've been struggling, you'regiving up, or you're still trying,

(25:41):
you're probably little depraved and debauchers.