Between Self and Shadow.

This episode delves into the inner conflict between light and darkness within the self. It reflects on a lifelong struggle to reconcile two parts of their identity: one that yearns for freedom and connection, and another that remains hidden in the shadows of silence and regret.
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BETWEEN SELF AND SHADOW

There’s a version of me that stands in the light,
The one I long to be, unburdened and free,
But my shadow lingers just beneath the surface,
A darker self that pulls me back to silence.
I reach for connection, for safety, yet retreat so fast,
Wondering if this tug-of-war will ever end.

I trace my steps back to where it all began,
A childhood spent half-hidden, half-seen,
Cradled with the fear of uncertainties of what the future holds.
There were moments when I drew away from voices, my voices.
Regretting every silence that built the walls around me.
Each memory a reflection of choices,
choices made by people around me,
Choices made naively,
Choices that resulted to a shadow growing
stronger with every step I took alone.

Now, I stand at the edge, caught between two worlds,
Wondering if I can reconcile these pieces of myself.
Is it too late to break free from this shadow's grip?
Or have I become too comfortable in its embrace?
Perhaps the person I want to be still waits for me,
Beckoning with hope filled eyes and warm embrace,
But the shadow whispers, muttering words,
as I listen, uncertainty flux over me like cold water to a heated soul.