EP12: TWICE BEATEN

Dear Diary,

I know this might sound strange, even dramatic, but I think I’ve just had my heart broken.

Twice.

In less than two months.

Last night, reality finally knocked on my door.

Whispering, It’s over.

Truly, finally over.

We had a long call, words exchanged, and silence that said even more.

There’s no “us” anymore.

There never really was.

We weren’t friends.

Maybe we never were.

I feel used, Diary.

Stripped of something I can’t quite name.

I blame myself, for feeling too much, for letting my heart think in place of my brain.

That first kiss, the way our fingers laced like promises…

I regret letting it all happen.

I let him touch the parts of me I guard from the world, and now I feel hollow.

I thought it was love.

I thought he was love.

A soulmate.

A forever.

A home.

But I was wrong.

So painfully wrong.

Now, everything reminds me of him.

His voice echoes in the silence I used to enjoy.

I haven’t cried, but the tears sit there, waiting.

My chest aches, my heart is stubborn, it doesn’t want to let go.

Still, I must.

I have to.

Even if I can’t erase all the memories, I can choose to stop feeding them.

I’m grateful for one thing, he showed me what love could feel like, even if it wasn’t meant to last.

We were prayer partners, secret keepers, best friends in our best moments.

Maybe our paths will cross again. Maybe they won’t.

But for now, Diary...

It’s goodbye. Goodbye, lover.

Goodbye, friend.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yeah, diary, I knew this might sound strange, dramatic. Why
I think I just have broken twice in less than
two months. Last night reality finally knocked on my door,

(00:35):
whispering it's over, truly finally over. We had a long call,
exchanged words in silence, a sake any more. There's not
put anymore. They never really was, we weren't. Maybe we're

(01:03):
never aware. I feel you're staring stripped of something I
can quite play. I blame myself for fulfilling too much,
but that's in my heart, thinking place of my brain.

(01:28):
That first kiss, the way a thing as laves like promises.
I realized it in all urban I didn't touch the
parts of me a cat from the world, and now
I feel hot low. I thaught it was love. I

(01:49):
thought it was love. It's so many for help, kay, Oh,
that was so painfully wrong. Now everything reminds me of him,
his voice, because in deciding I used to enjoy. I

(02:14):
haven't cried yet, but it's just still with them chest aches.
My heart stop doesn't want to let go. Still I must.

(02:34):
I have to let go. Even if I can erase
all the memories, I can just stop feeding them. I
have I'm grateful for one fight. He showed me what
love would be like, even if it wasn't mean. The

(02:55):
last reprayer, hardness, secret keepers, best friends in our best moment,
maybe our pass across again. Maybe they wouldn't. But finandary,

(03:16):
it's goodbye, Goodbye lover, goodbye friend. H m hm