Fighting for Breathe

The reflection on the daily fight for survival, not just physically, but mentally, grappling with the weight of expectations and the suffocating feeling of pretending to be okay.


Dear Diary,

I know I've been away for some time. It’s actually hard fighting against the world, but even harder when you have to fight for your own life. Every day feels like a battle, one I’m not sure I’m equipped to win. The weight of expectations, the pressure to keep moving, to keep smiling, all while trying not to break. Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of demands, gasping for air while pretending everything is fine.

The struggles of having to keep oneself alive go beyond the physical. It’s the mental war that no one sees, the quiet desperation behind every carefully constructed facade. I’m trying so hard not to choke on life itself, to not let it swallow me whole. Some days, I can barely breathe beneath the weight of it all, and yet I keep going, because what other choice is there? The world doesn’t stop spinning because I feel like I’m falling apart.

People often talk about survival as if it’s just about getting through the day, but it’s so much more. It’s about the emotional stamina it takes to pretend, to smile when your heart is heavy, to engage when all you want is to retreat. It’s exhausting, diary, it's exhausting to fight for myself in a world that constantly pushes back, in a life that feels overwhelming at times. And the worst part? No one seems to notice the struggle beneath the surface.

I wonder if anyone truly understands how hard it is just to exist some days, to wake up and face the world when everything inside me feels like it’s crumbling. It’s not that I don’t want to live—I do—but there are moments when living feels like a fight I’m barely winning. The energy it takes to hold on, to keep myself from slipping into that dark place where giving up seems like the only option, is draining me.

But here I am, writing again, hoping these words will help me make sense of the chaos within. Maybe, in these pages, I can find the strength I need to keep fighting, to keep breathing. For now, I’ll take it one day at a time, hoping that each breath becomes a little lighter, and that the fight for my life, my peace, won’t always feel like an endless war.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mh their DIARYY I know, I know you're wait for
some Sorry, it's hard how I get against them.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
But even add the way you have to have your
own life every day days like one, I'm not sure
you keep the raining. The way of expectations is the
pressure gives the inveainment gives my minding all while trying
to ry to break ring. Sometimes I feel like I'm

(00:38):
drowning on in sea of your man.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Man.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
That's as for hair, while we're retaining in everything far
fine structure of having to give keep one save a
life behind the physical. It's it's the main thing I
would want to see the quiet aspiration behind everyone carefully
finish but fading. I'm trying to hard, hard to truck
the life myself. Do not let me swallow live you

(01:04):
Some days I can barely alive with beneath me the
weeds of the whole. And yet yet he win businessless.
But how actually say the world doesn't stust pay because
I feel like a living background. People are talking about
survival and CES is just just going through the day.
So much control. It's about unction now. It takes to

(01:29):
pretating the smile when you heard heaving, when enged went
when all you want is to retreat, treat. It's exting
that there's also despite for myself in the world that
constantly pushes back back, and the life that feels over
women at the time time, and the worst worst part,

(01:50):
it seems to not the structure sur I want to
hear if anyone truly understands how to party and is
to just just this to say, to wake up and
faced when everything decides it feels like it's Crumblingly, it's
not a leading be doing two. But but there are

(02:12):
moments when even feels like a five.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Idea any really, it takes it to do to keep
myself from sleeping into that place, even though like lip.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Options really nay, oh yeah, yeah, very right and again
yeah open these words with amazings and skills your GENI.
Maybe it is. I'll find a strange riding at five
keep breathing, but no, I'll take it a the idea life.

(02:47):
I've been that yet I'm a little at the fire.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Your life like this.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Will always physically less.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Little apafore were in the vala Alardo

Speaker 1 (03:06):
H