May 27, 2024 • 68 mins
What will Bestie get for her 14th birthday?
Will her relationship with Wade last?
And who is keeping a pair of her underpants under their pillow?
Listen in to find out.
And remember, if you think you know us - no, you don't!
Will her relationship with Wade last?
And who is keeping a pair of her underpants under their pillow?
Listen in to find out.
And remember, if you think you know us - no, you don't!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
I've known my bestie for fifteen yearsnow, but what was she like before
I met her? Welcome to Diaryof my Bestie, where she reads to
me her childhood diaries. Or Namesand identifying places have been changed to protect
the innocent and the guilty. We'realso staying anonymous, so if you think
you know us, no you don't. Welcome back to Diary of My Bestie.
Hello Bestie, Hello bestie, andcongratulations. What have I done?
(00:24):
You didn't stuff up the intro?Oh, there's a few times there I'm
like, don't stuff off, don'tstuff I was it was there, and
I was like, do I dothe thing where I say, hey,
I didn't stuff up? Then Idid it for you. I actually and
the thing I had to stand thereand add all names, identify because I
normal to throw on a little bitof spice, not did it straight down
(00:46):
the line? You were the straightman. Yes, how are you going?
I heard you been feeling poorly.Yeah, I've had a pretty snotty
cold. So you know the typeof cold where you wish you had in
clinics because you're using so many ofthem anyway. Yes, yes, there's
(01:07):
a joke about teenage boys there butlet's pass go past. Yeah, let's
know it. Yes, so weare continuing down this path and this journey
which I have missed and eager toget back into. Yes. So we
are still in nineteen ninety and wefinish off the last episode on the eve
of my fourteenth birthday. Mm hmm, where if you recall, at one
(01:36):
minute past midnight, I would officiallybe going out with Wade, and just
to refresh everyone's memory, was wayaware of this. Yes, okay,
yes, we decided on that together. All I'm going to say kind of
little storkery vibes. But you know, you remember, doctor Phil, Yes,
(01:57):
you used to say the best predictorof future behavior is past behavior.
So I don't blame you for wonderingif Wade knew about this. Well,
you said it with the resoluteness thatare like no manifesct. It's going to
be okay, all right, Sowe're one minute past midnight and it's Friday,
(02:24):
September fourteen, nineteen ninety. Okay, at five fifty am, you've
be in a relationship for a wholefive hours and forty minutes. It's very
much like the Easter Records, somethinglike at twelve oh one, we will
have peace. What those silly peoplewho are like Jesus is going to return
(02:49):
on this date at five seven pm? Have I ever told Have I ever
told you the story about when Ireally was this smarty, smart ass in
my religion class in grade nine,actually no, grade eleven, you haven't,
but I'm sure there were many ofthose moments. The our deputy I
(03:14):
think, or one of the higherups in the in the school, took
religion with us for a good partof year eleven, and he'd like to
do this thing where he'd give alittle bits of trivia out. And then
this one day he sort of said, well, what because the year two
thousand was coming up in a coupleof years, Because what's the problem with
(03:34):
the year two thousand? And Istuck my hand up and I went from
the back of the way back ofthe room. I said, Sarah,
it happened last year. And thisgirl who was in front of me tenror
and goes what I'm like, yeah, it happened last year. And the
teacher I remember this, he said, Okay, everyone look at Bestie and
laugh, and the whole how gradeall of the class turned around and laughed
(03:57):
at me and I sat there.I'm like, I know I'm right,
and he goes, well, youknow what, he's actually right. The
Gregorian monks who did up the calendarmade a I think a rounding era or
something like that, and the yeartwo thousand is actually the year zero is
actually five BC. They made amiscalculation in it, so people expecting it
(04:20):
to come in the year two thousandit was actually supposed to come in the
year nineteen ninety five. And thegirl who said what turn around saying,
oh, you're such a nerd,and I'm like, I'm like, okay,
but we were told this in gradeseven. Our grade seven religion teacher
actually pointed this thing out. Ijust remembered it, and they were like,
(04:44):
that's not like you is a nerd. And my teacher actually picked up
the phone because they had a fancyschool that had phones between each classroom and
rang the religion teacher from grade sevenand said, did you tell a class
about this? He said, yeah, I did. Yeah. No,
he just like you guys just allforgot. He's he's not smart. He
(05:06):
just didn't forget. And I'm like, he's not smart, he's just not
forgetful. Pretty much, so butthat was my triumphant moment in the religion
class. Was like, yeah,the fact that I knew that, and
I'm like, oh, I knowthe answer to the question, and it
was exactly what he was looking forand he was he I think he was
(05:28):
a bit disappointed because he wanted toto break open that revelation. He just
spoiled his moment. I think Idid. But he was able to he
was able to go yes, oneof those ones like laugh at him,
Yeah, he's right, he's right, yeah, and he is a nerd.
Yeah, all right, So yeah, sorry, that was my That
(05:48):
was one. That's quite all right. So it's five point fifty am,
very early in the morning for meto be writing he's not real excited about
my birthday. It's real not You'vebeen up at like four o'clock in the
morning, riunning before. That's true. My birthday, I'm fourteen. I'm
(06:11):
going with Wade Nice. Nice.I'm just about to open my present from
Ron, that's my parents friend.It's very, very weird for me because
I know people with similar names andI can't not picture them in this situation.
(06:32):
Yeah. I got up and wentto the loo, and when I
came out Cleo goes meow really loud, which is feeling ease for Happy birthday,
mummy. Okay again at twelve ohone, we are in a relationship
and the cats are now talking toyou completely normal. She's like an adopted
(06:57):
daughter. I suppose a single parentcouldn't adopt a child, though, which
is what the rules were back then. I know, but it's just like,
why couldn't she just be like yourdaughter? Why did she have to
be an adopt adopted daughter. Yeah, Mum and Dad were going to adopt
once, but then they got tooold. Not the fact that you and
(07:20):
your brother are around all then.Mum was thinking really seriously about getting a
foster child. That would have beenso cool. I think we might just
be sponsoring one now. Oh well, at least it's help for a child.
Yes, it's a shame there wasn'ta child in so much danger that
(07:42):
required your care. Meow. I'vewritten this page in a record time of
five minutes. I love Wade AnthonyLeith. I'm fourteen. Then. I
have a list of presents that Igot okay, yep from mum and dad.
(08:07):
A black overnight bag, a blackand white single at top, a
black and white skirt, black andwhite leggings, sensing a theme, a
black skirt, a white peasant top, some ear rings and the Passion single
(08:28):
so overnight bag and everything like that. Are you on your way to mime
school? Maybe I am, butthere's no gloves in there. Everything's black
and white and black. Okay,right, yeah, very much. So
your passion is that song by Bangthe Drama That was my favorite song at
(08:50):
the time, and it was avinyl single. Okay, yes, that
is old school from Mike and Clint. I got a Brashes voucher a Brashes
Rashes, good old brashes for thosewho don't know. That was a music
store, which I think it juststarted out as a record store, but
(09:13):
then they expanded to like electronics andyeah, well they were. They did
CDs and everything like that, andthen as that declined, they started to
put keyboards and stuff in the back. Yeah, but it wasn't a major
focus. It was like you canalso get your stuff here. Yeah,
yeah, exactly. And then Ithink JB Hi fi ate their breakfast.
(09:37):
Yeah that sounds about right. FromAuntie Glender. I got ballerina socks,
blacknail polish, and false eyelashes.Okay, I think she put those in
there as a joke because they werereally like ridiculously, Well, you've gotten
(10:01):
black everything else, So we don'tknow. This is around the time of
beetlejuice. You never know from Ron, I got Yardly Sweet Peace, soap
and body spray and a book.What bird is that? How old was
Ron forties giving a fourteen year oldgirl soap and body spray? I actually
(10:28):
really really liked it. Oh no, I'm one hundred percent impulse type.
Yeah. Everything you're saying is notmaking my objections any less. The fact
that a forty year old dude's gettinga fourteen year old girl in pulse and
alistair. I'm not suggesting anything.No, no, no, no.
He was a bachelor, but Ireckon What probably would have happened is he
(10:54):
went into a chemist and was like, I need a present for a girl
who's turned fourteen. Can you suggestsomething? I know? But still soap
and the bird book would absolutely havebeen. Yeah, yeah, a bird
book, big tick. The soapand body wash and the body spray.
Mate, that's it's it's giving offnineteen year old vibes. Ah, Okay,
(11:20):
well the book. I still havethat book. Yes, I still
have it. Did it help youidentify birds? It did, because as
well as all the descriptions of that, it had like you know how some
books have all the color plates withthe really fancy paper and like glossy paper
and pictures, so it had allthat nice. I'll still use it.
(11:43):
I know I can look up thingson Google now, but but I prefer
to look up those pictures. Soreally good. Cool. From Debra,
I got an address book, Andfrom Kimberly, my brother's golfriend, I
got a coffin money box. Okay, do you remember the ones where you
(12:07):
put your coin on the thing andthen a little skeleton hand would come out
of the coffin and grab the coinand pull it back in. I do.
I'm interested? Did you actually?I was going to say, in
a dress book, why would youneed an address book? But I keep
having to go back to the agewhere see I I wasn't fourteen at this
time, and I didn't have friendsto go places, so I didn't need
(12:31):
a dress book. I had allmy interstate friends that I still wrote letters
to and stuff, and you werecalling people as well, and would have
phone numbers. Needed something numbers forall those boys. I don't think I
had a number of a friend untilfifteen sixteen. I think I barely talked
(12:52):
on the phone at all. Solook, I'm sure most of these boys
would have preferred if I didn't havetheir number. M Yeah, or they
had or you had their address ora secluded spot. Okay. So yeah,
(13:13):
that's my fourteenth birthday. Okay,So it was just a regular day
with some presents, presents thrown inyep. Now we're going to skip forward
to Monday, September seventeen, nineteenninety Okay, at eleven fifty seven am,
because it's the school holidays, andI don't know if you remember that
(13:37):
I was going to be going toa Chinese restaurant on the weekend for my
birthday. Yes, I do.My family and my friend Shiner. M.
So this says the weekend, Well, your friend shower, my friend
Shiner, so not my shower,not my my no. Sorry, Yes
(14:03):
it was sloppy, Yes it wasclunky, but I stand by it.
Yeah, I stayed up talking.That was a little insight into our friendship,
if anyone's wondering. I stayed uptalking to Shona until two AMM,
got in bed and talked for anotherhour. Okay, so you have the
(14:26):
same bed. No, we spoke. No, what's weirder is the idea
that you think that you jump bothjumped into bed and spoke on the phone
to each other. Oh, shewas at my house. Oh okay,
freaking over all? Right, Okay, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Okay, no makes sense. Shonais sixteen and she still doesn't get
(14:54):
her rags. Okay, scandalous,Naomi, that's one of my other friends
got hers when she was eleven likeme. Wesley Hurbaker used to be going
with Roseenne Crawley. Mm hmm,this is stuff that Shona told me.
(15:20):
Or she was staying at my house? Yep. And Shaner is your friend
do you go to school with?She's part of that group of four girls,
the three sisters and the friend.And she's also Wade's sister. Ah,
okay, the connections have all beenreattached. Yes, And that the
Urbaker boys were the ones where oneof them had the smurf curtains, which
(15:46):
is a fantastic euphuism for something.Yes. So yeah, Wesley used to
be going with Roseanne Crawley. She'sjust a girl that we know from skating.
Random he dropped her because her kneeswere bolted together. I couldn't get
her legs apart. Surely a bitof WD forty in the Spana would have
(16:11):
worked. Oh he's talking metaphorically.Okay, this is we're talking about.
He would have been thirteen. Ithink this is the way he's talking about
girls. Shona still likes Wesley.Okay, she likes looking at his bum
(16:33):
anyway, all right, says alot about his personality. Now more gossip
about these Smurf Curtain boys. See, I feel like leaning in. David,
Wesley, and Peter took a girlup on the roof of their house.
(16:55):
Okay, so they're the three brothers. And Dave fingered her, and
then Peter did, he's only eleven, and then Wesley did. I can't
believe it. Okay, how oldwas the girl? No idea. I
(17:21):
think that's a vital bit of informationthere, because as far as I know,
girls don't necessarily enjoy being bowling balls. So I don't think I want
to know because it doesn't matter whatage she is. It's going to be
very, very wrong because we've gotan eleven year old, a thirteen year
old, and a fifteen year oldboy about fifteen I think would be eh,
(17:49):
I mean fifteen and then eleven.Yeah, but if you're if you're
a fifteen year old up on aroof with three boys and they're all having
a stab at you, then likethe boundaries of age appropriation, I mean,
like you're not a mature person ifeveryone gets a turn like h But
(18:11):
you know you're talking about two highschool boys and one boy who's still in
primary school, and that just givesme them. I know, you don't
share a you don't share a ballat a bowling alley, but if you
do, then go for a strike. Anyway, it could have been not
true. It could have been somethingthat Wesley said to Trump Big Night himself.
(18:32):
But I'm more in the camp ofyes, it's not true, but
also too if it is true,then if you're the type of boys who
if type of girl hangs around withthe smurf curtain boys, well then yeah,
yeah, then smurf curtain boys gotto look out for them getting she
(18:53):
got smurfed on a roof, smurfulated. I saw Wade yesterday. Okay,
nothing happened because Mum and missus Leithwere just in the lounge room and then
mister Leith came in. But whatwould have happened if they weren't well,
I probably would have wanted to givehim a good pash. Yeah, this
(19:18):
would have been when we were droppingShowina home. Okay. I wore Wade's
Vision Street Wear shirt Saturday night,then I slept in it, then I
wore it yesterday. Did you washit today? I don't think so.
From Wade for my birthday, I'mgetting a split coin necklace. There you
(19:45):
go, classic. Yeah. Andfrom Shina, I'm getting a Vision Street
Wear shirt like Wades. Okay,So is how I've got confused? Is
Wade one of the Smurf boys?No, that's Wesley, and Wesley's who
Shana likes. Yeah, okay,I'm back in track and they all go
(20:07):
skating. Yeah, Megan gave meearrings and a necklace. Okay. I
saw Two Moon Junction yesterday. Thatname sounds like I should know it,
but I don't know. It wasa movie with Sheryl and Fenn and Richard
(20:33):
somebody or rather, and it wasbasically pawn But okay, I guess it
would have been called soft porn.But there was not much of a storyline,
and there were some really really graphicsex scenes in it. You say
that, like porn normally has decent, well developed it's like porn, but
(20:57):
it didn't have a good script actThe acting was wooden. There was no
character development. It was just itwas a movie, but it may as
well not have been because so ratherthan it's almost like porn, it was
essentially porn. Yeah, disguised asa movie that was put on television.
(21:23):
Okay, Yeah, Wade seen it. He reckons it's better on video because
they don't chop bits out and youcan slow down and pause it back and
forwards, back and forwards. Hewould say something like that, Yeah,
it's He's probably his favorite is ThreeBoys on a Roof. He likes this
(21:47):
murf movie. Just kidding. He'sjust so unbelievably good looking. I just
want to die. I'm so gladI'm going out with him. He has
everything looks, great, personality,intelligence, sense of humor, outgoing and
the fact you're not with Wade nowmakes me think, is it maybe?
(22:11):
Yeah? Conrad was the one Iliked for good looks, Nick for his
outgoingness, Marcus for his personality andsense of humor. Add all of them
together and you still wouldn't get weighed. Do you know why? Because no,
(22:33):
tell me why they're all missing intelligence? Okay, which is really mean,
because Marcus definitely wasn't unintelligent. Conradand Nick, the jury is still
out, but you were using themfor their body? Yeah, not hot.
Okay, I'm not going to dothat. It'd be interesting to go
(22:56):
back in a time machine and lookat him now and in a very non
creepy way, do an examination.Were they hot to like, were they
universally hot or were they thirteen yearold bestie city not discussingly ugly hot.
(23:18):
I think Conrad probably would have beenin the hot thing because he had that
blond surfer skater kind of vibe.Okay, Nick not so much. Nick,
definitely not. No. They hada heartbeat and sort of looked halfway
across at you once across the trafficlight. You're like, yep, that's
the one for me. I probablywon't see way during the holidays because he's
(23:44):
working. He gets three hundred dollarsa week. He's saving for a new
computer. Okay, I can't evenremember what he did. I want to
say that he worked for his dad, but his dad was a fire man,
so I don't think so he couldhave started the fires, got a
commission professional arseners. Well if there'sthere's not many fires up where you live,
(24:11):
so you never know, you neverknow. Anyway, I must go
now, I have to go shuting. That's my secret backstory for Wade.
Now he's a professional arsonist. Doyou think of Wade? You think of
fire? Well, he's hot,all right, Yeah, so I have
(24:36):
to go shopping by PS. Stayedup until approximately two am again this morning.
It's fun okay, PPS hr puffand Stuff's on at three thirty pm
this afternoon. Well that's vital information, isn't it Funny? How Like I
(24:57):
was about to say the one justbefore we're like, oh, I stay
up till two o'clock. I'm soscandalous. If you're still if you're offline
at two o'clock in the morning,I go, what's wrong? I've been
a good girl lately. I've beengetting to bit usually between ten and eleven.
Yes, because you're exhausted from sickness, not because you actually want to.
(25:19):
No, I don't want to,but I kind of have to.
Yeah, Okay. I like howI've gone from scandalous fingering sessions on roofs
to hr puff and stuff in asingle entry. Well like Smurf Curtains.
Puff and stuff could be euphemism forit stuff and puff? Was it?
(25:41):
Was it? What is it hrhuffle puff? Or was it puff and
stuff? Puff and cha puff andstuff? Here's the one when things get
rough. Well, see you go, pump and stuff, pump and stuff,
hr hr stuff and the Smurf curtains, the three Smurf Curtains present pump
(26:04):
and Stuff. That's her name,des Sturf Curtains. She was. I
think the reason I was excited aboutthis is just because that show reminds me
of being a little kid. Thatand Banana Splits and Lancelot Link Secret Chimp.
Okay remember that one, not thechimp one. No, probably actually,
(26:26):
probably I do, but you know, unless I've seen it than i've
seen it recently. It was actual, It was black and white. It
was actual chimpanzeesl Lancelot Link, SecretChimp lance a lot Secret Chimp, So
(26:52):
actual chimpanzees in clothes, and thenthey'd make them do things and they would
dub voices and stuff over the top. Oh okay, No, I haven't
really. I've seen maybe a clipof it in a meme, but no,
I don't remember this one. Yeah, we loved that one, my
brother and I. I'll try andfind you a clip of one thing that
(27:18):
as teenagers when repeats came on,there was one episode where his girlfriend was
like, yeah, may hear aLancelot? And she had this look on
her face that just made us seeourselves laughing. See if I can find
that clip. Okay, it's probablyreally really bad in terms of animal welfare
(27:42):
given in the time it was made, and you just know there's going to
be some racist sort of thing inthere somewhere. Oh yeah, most likely.
I'm pretty sure. Actually there wassome Asian okay, stereotype humor in
there in some of the like forsome of the bad guys. Eh yeah,
(28:06):
okay, not good. Yes,a lot of the shows from our
past were extremely problematic. Yes,yes, and some of them still are
the Yeah. Tuesday, September eighteenth, nineteen ninety seven, thirty one am.
I talked to Shona on the phonelast night. Wade had just gone
(28:30):
to bed. Sounds like you're datingmore than wait. Shona had just been
in to see him. He hadmy undies under his pillow. Okay,
clean clean like that makes a difference. He was holding my photo and he
(28:52):
said to Shona, y I'm surethey yes, Oh it's hidden under his
pillow and he's holding a photo ofyou. It's absolutely fine. Come on,
bestie, you if your fourteen yearold son had a girl's panties underneath
her his pillow and was holding aphoto of her, and you walked in
the room, what would you think, Yes, exactly, I don't want
(29:17):
to think exactly right. Oh,the innocence of you. Oh that's so
romantic. He had me unders underhis pillow and he's looking at your photo
of me. I'm sure this isnothing sus was happening about it. I
mean the smurf dudes are looking athim, going damn. He was holding
(29:37):
my photo and he said to Shona, I wish her bum was in it.
I'm glad you didn't try and saythat like you were trying to get
any better. It's the one thatLenn Casey ripped up, Wade taped it
back together. Okay, little Stalkrishstill has your Can we sort of go
(30:03):
back a little bit? How didhe get your undies under his bed?
I would have given Shiner a pairof them. To give to him.
You say that with a nonchalants thatlike it's perfectly normal too. I probably
thought, so, yeah, here, please give my here, sister of
(30:23):
the boy, I like, pleasegive him my panties. Can we examine
that? I know, but youput Paul Shoner in a position where she's
like, Okay, this messed upchick has just give me some mondies to
give to my brother. I'm like, ill, And now my brother's got
it under his pillow and he's lookingat a photo over and going, gee,
(30:45):
i'd like her asked to be init. Paul in all this,
He's like, but here's the reallyromantic bit. Okay, romance, here
we go. He had the shirtthat I wore, his Vision Streetwear shirt,
beside his pillow. He kept smellingit because he could smell my perfume.
(31:08):
Yeah, and he's beaten off withyondies. Yeah, I'm gonna say
it. Yes they were clean,but the Yndies were there, and he
was looking at your photo and hewas smelling me, and like he was
he was half a ladder away fromgetting on the roof. All I'm saying,
it's so sweet. He must likeme. I'm sure he does.
(31:30):
Jesus, I have three more photosfor him. Okay, listeners, you're
with me right? This is messedup, Like it's not just me.
It's like there is there is afourteen year old romance in here, but
(31:51):
it's like it's a dude with somechick sundies and a photo over and a
shirt. That's what it is,and we all know what that is.
Anyway, Shona's coming around today's togitherwith photos of Wade and some Corey Feldman
posters. Okay, all right,all right, see you later. Have
(32:17):
fun. I'll get write. I'mnot the one having fun. It sounds
like Wade's having a great time.I love Wade. I like the fact
that he's asked for a photo ofyour ass and you haven't said anything about
that. It's all he's got Monday'sunder his under his pillows and that romantic.
(32:39):
He wants to see my ass,but yeah, I to see my
mom later. Hello, this isShona today. We walked to the plaza
on the way best he wanted towrap her laugh and gear around Wade's billibong.
Okay, do you remember the adfor bill Abong icebox? I do,
(33:05):
but that was very coded language.For a blowjob. Yeah, well
it was a cock was it akrooker bar cuock a bar? Yeah,
singing rap your laugh and gear aroundPaul's bill. You couldn't have a cockatoo.
Saying that was a little bit toomuch, But yeah, well you're
the onely mentioned blowjob. And thenmy mind just went to freudy and slip
(33:27):
cocktoo. What else does shown tomean other than you want to get around
his build? That's exactly what shemeant. We were being filthy. Yes,
don't don't throw me under the bus. Here you're training in andies with
your with your best friend, yourboyfriend, throw me under the bus.
I was all talk. I wasabsolutely all talk. Clearly not because he's
(33:50):
got a pair of yourndies. Idon't think that counts as action, though
not on my part anyway, Idon't. I'm not saying action as in
physical, but I would say,like if someone said, oh, yeah,
at fourteen, I gave my boyfrienda pair of undies, Yeah,
that's pretty much that. That's you'realready half halfway on the roof. That's
(34:12):
oct At the plaza, we sawTanita Jacinta dot dot dot Sorry, shown
I couldn't finish writing she had togo home. Tanita, that sounds like
a foot disease. Terrible, Tanita. I mean you like the parents sneeze
(34:35):
when they were writing out the best. If you got something, Tonina,
Oh, I'm pretty sure there wasa singer in the late eighties called Tanita
to Cam I'm gonna look this up. I've just got this. What was
the song? Tonita? I'm notsure if I'm saying her this. Tanita
(35:00):
Tikaram, a British singer songwriter whoachieved chart success with a single card Twist
in My Sobriety in nineteen eighty eight. The you okay, can? I
retort by saying you're all fourteen,which means you were born in nineteen seventy
(35:20):
six, twelve years before. Thisrandom woman came up and talked about singing
about being drunk. Yeah, butstill the naming is an actual names.
Yeah, it's not a misspelling ofa sneeze. Yeah. Shona brought a
photo of Wade and I got itenlarged. We each got a dream,
(35:45):
a little dream picture enlarged and laminated, and another one enlarged. My wall
is full of dream a little dreamand Corey Fellman pictures and another is full
of coke ads. Okay, Sowhat was the photo? Just a regular
normal photo, Yeah, just likea headshot type, okay picture. What
(36:07):
was the photo we had of you? Oh? That was the one that
modeling a picture that I took bymy friend's pool where she was trying to
do the the water reflection thing andyou're in an assim suit. Yeah,
okay, the pieces are in it. Yeah, well that's why he had
his undy his under pillow. Yeah. Shona brought me the sleeve off of
(36:31):
one of Wade's ripped Billabong shirts andshe sprayed it with rex own a sport,
which is what he wears. Now, all I need is a pair
of his undies for the listeners athome. I closed my eyes about thirty
seconds ago in just that that sighinglike comes because once I heard about the
(36:54):
ripped sleeves and the and the theater, and I'm like, okay, here
we go. What's the what's erruh? When we went to the plaza,
I couldn't find my front door key, so I just locked the screen.
Jeremy Bruce came over and said hewas here to pick Mike up for
(37:15):
the basking competition audition. But Mikewasn't home. Maybe he tried to come
home, but he couldn't get inbecause I'd locked the screen. But then
he could have broken in the backwayor just check to see if the louvers
are open. They aren't. Hecouldn't have gotten in the backway. If
(37:36):
he couldn't get in, I'm inbig trouble. Okay, okay, So
yeah, two doors at the front. We had this big door that had
a deadlock, and then the screen. Usually we would just lock the one
with the deadlock, not bother withthe screen, but I obviously lock the
(38:00):
screen this time. I don't knowwhy he didn't have a key for the
screen. Well, to be fair, you'd lost your key, So I
lost my key to the to thedead locked door. Yeah, and he
could have lost his key. Heah, But why didn't I have them both
together? Seems silly? Did Wadehave them? Who knows? I love
(38:25):
that. It's just like, oh, well, if you forget your key,
it's okay, you just break intoyour own house around the back.
I've had to do that, especiallyat Christmas time. I had to break
in Christmas day. So just yeah, we had these lovers next to the
back door, which was the laundryso at the side of the house,
(38:45):
and if they were open, youcould literally just reach your hand in and
lock the screen because it was oneof those I had the kind of the
plastic screen handles that were really blimsyand that tiny little button lock. Yes,
yeah, it was just one ofthose. So yeah, really easy
to break into. We locked outit. We got locked out of our
(39:06):
house on Christmas morning and we hadto go back to break into the back
And it's a thing I know afair bit about. We'll say no more
than that in terms of it's askill I've developed. I had to purposely
make many mistakes out and take abouttwenty minutes to get in because missus Bestie
(39:30):
would be scared shitless if I showedher how fast I can actually get into
our house. All I needed wasone in sixty seconds literally probably about twenty
five seconds and two pieces of strappingout the back, and I could have
broken into our house. Not aproblem. But yeah, I purposely,
oh, I don't know how todo this, and so I made it
(39:52):
look like, oh I've it takesa really long time, don't worry about
it. But obviously they go likeI can just go and get back in,
yeah, back in skin. Nocriminal activity. It's just that nerdy
type of thing of like how dolocks work? Oh, and it helped
me criminal activity or just never gotcaught. No, no criminal activity.
It has helped in other situations andpressing people where things of locks have been
(40:17):
jammed and I'm like, oh herebang, but I've often turned around and
gone and fixed it where no onecan see. Just so yeah, clever,
Let's just say the combination locks onpadlocks, if you have the touch
for it, probably about twenty secondsyou can get into it. It's all
about tumbler and driving and stuff.So I could definitely probably use your skills
(40:42):
one day. Or no, I'malways forgetting keys and locking stuff and not
being able to get into stuff.I'll buy you what I bought starting out,
which was it's a padlock that's clearin acrylic and you get the lock
picking kit with it, and youcan teach yourself how to pick the lock.
(41:04):
You heard it here first, folks. Yeah, and being introduced to
a live of crime. But it'sit's actually a safety It's sold as a
safety thing because it's it's a deadlock, not a so if you're ever trapped,
you can get in. I've gotinto cash boxes houses. One of
(41:24):
the guys we hired a place andthe guy forgot to let us in,
and I said, it's okay,mate, don't worry about it, and
got us into the into the room. He's like, how to do that?
So don't ask, because if youask, I'll tell him you were
here when you're supposed to let it, and he goes it fair enough.
No worries, don't ask, don'ttell. Yeah, cars can't do,
but pad locks and house house locksand stuff, yeah, I can.
(41:49):
I can get in handy. Itcomes in handy. Sometimes. It also
makes you utterly, utterly unfaithful ofany lock, Like every time I locks
up me. Now, I'm like, I know how to get into that,
So anyone else could get into itpotentially. I like Wade so much.
(42:15):
When Dannyel sees his photo, sheis going to be so jealous.
So that's my cousin. Yes,a little bit of a spoiler alert.
We are preparing to go on aroad trip, yep, because one of
my cousins from my other side ofthe family who lives down that way is
(42:37):
getting married. Okay, so that'sgoing to be seeing Daniel. The wedding
will be excellent. There we go. That's what I'm just referring to.
Spoiler warning for the next five seconds. Must go and finish my room.
See ya. I love Wade.Mhmm. When's day, September nineteen,
(43:01):
nineteen ninety ten oh four am.My room is clean. Okay, today
I'm going to ring Shona. Thereare only two things on my bedside table.
A picture of Wade and his billabongsleeve. Okay, that's that still
(43:28):
sounds like a really bad euphemism,it does. And his billibong sleeve.
Yeah. Speaking of the sleeve,I slept with it last night. Okay.
Speaking of sleeping, I fell asleepin my clothes last night on top
of the covers. Okay, atleast it was at a decent hour ten
(43:49):
o'clock approximately. Okay. Obviously allthese two am bedtimes are getting the best
of me. Mm hmm. Thewedding will be excellent. Don't worry,
Diary, I will definitely be takingyou. I'm going to go write some
(44:09):
letters now on the computer. Wadesaid he'd write me one. I'm going
to write him a letter on Fridayand post it on Saturday. If I
have time anyway, I'd better gonow. Remember to always stand by me
and dream a little dream at night. Did you know that you need a
(44:35):
license to drive? Okay? Allnames of movies that Corey Feldman was in.
Yes, yes, still obsessed.I love Wade Anthony Leith. Don't
forget that. If you get adiary Puncher now an undated entry that wasn't
(45:00):
written by me, and it says, well, this is a very nice
diary, I'm sure, even thoughyou won't let me read it. I
think that's very rude of you.And now, something about those beautiful fairy
little fellas. Yes, hamsters.Hamsters are friendly, kind, lovable,
(45:22):
caring, sweet, nice, good, cuddly, adorable and wonderful, just
like me. Love you, JeremyHamster's rule. Okay, okay, Jeremy,
you're giving me sort of weird creepyvibes. He loves hamsters too much,
yes he, but at one pointhe had lived in England and he
(45:45):
had had hamsters as a pet.And of course you can't have hamsters in
Australia. We can't have hamsters inWe don't have hamsters or gerbils, right,
so yes, he liked Hamsters.Thursday, September twenty, nineteen ninety.
(46:07):
While I'm writing this, I'm speakingto Shona on the telephone, and
then the next part, I'm tellingher things to tell to Wade, who's
on his computer in the same room. Okay, she's on the bone.
Told Wade I wanted to go outwith him forever. He nodded. I
(46:30):
told him I wanted to live withhim. He nodded, wide eyed.
Haha. I'm off the phone now, saw de Grassi. It was the
Caitlin and Joey one where she thinkshe likes her but he likes Liz.
I'm listening to the Dream, aLittle Dream video so cruel. It would
(46:53):
have been rented. Remember I reallywanted a copy for my birthday. I
didn't get one because it would costtoo much or something. Yeah, so
I kept just re renting it fromthe video store. Cleo has thrown up
twice today, so I rang doctorRob. If she's sick again, I
(47:13):
have to take her in. I'llhave to ring Mum and tell her because
Mum would have been at work.Both my parents would have been at work,
which meant I was just home aloneor holidays with my brother flitting in
and out depending on what he wasdoing. That was very, very normal.
(47:34):
This page is almost full, soI will sign off very soon.
See you later. Have fun tillI write next. I love Wade and
then I write next. At elevenforty pm, okay, where I stopped
at a servo just outside the stateborder. There are two trucks here,
(47:59):
a mac and and I can't figureout Mum and Dad are going to have
a couppa. So I have aboutten minutes to write. So this is
the road trip. Yes, okay, ye, so Mike is not with
us, he's doing his whatever thing. And the coppa would definitely have been
made with hot water from a thermos. Okay, yes, yes, that's
(48:22):
a given. Yep, you canbuy your coffee. It'd be a tartan.
It'd be a tartan. Thermos probablywas, and they were probably those
plastic type of weare coffee mugs withthe you know, with air or one
of them would have used the littleyeah yeah. And it would have been
(48:44):
like a dark red tartan with thelike the blue and the white, and
it would have been faded and chippedon the bottom. Yeah yeah, but
I think that's how they came.Yeah, but he kept it water boiling
hot. Yeah. Seen on theroad about three hours by this point.
Okay, probably there is a guystanding outside the ladies toilet. What a
(49:09):
weirdo. He's yelling Erica into it. I wish I had a camera.
Okay, and this girl people,I guess it was probably his daughter.
Yeah, probably, yeah, littlegirl. He was doing the absolute pair,
absolutely the right thing. Yeah.Yeah, I'm going to have a
(49:31):
drink night. Now, I'll writeat the next stop, see you then.
Okay. Now we are at ashell servo and it's two twenty a
m Oh, you're doing it allnight. Okay, I'm getting pretty tired.
There's some excellent trucks here, mainlyMax. It's rather chilly here.
(49:54):
There's a white mac beside us calledCarbine with a picture of a horse.
Remember Farlat he had carbine on bothsides of his bloodline. Okay, so
random trivia from my horse mad days. There's a little motel close by.
It's cute. Big Kenilworth just camein. Trucks are my favorite automobiles after
(50:21):
motorcycles. I'm about to have acoppa. It's so cold, I hope
it warms me. Up. Anyway, I better drink this tea before it
goes cold. Only fourteen towns togo until we get to Morgan. So
was your mum and dad doing splitshift driving or yeah? Okay? And
(50:44):
we had a van and the seatsin the back lay flat ticker bed,
so whoever wasn't driving how to sleepin the back and I got to sit
in the front. Nice. Yeah. So More is where my paternal Yeah,
my paternal grandparents live there, andmy maternal grandparents used to live there,
(51:08):
which is why hopefully your mom anddad know each other and are not
related to each other. Well,that's where my parents met. Okay,
they both lived in this town theirfamilies, and that's why we're going back
there because most of my mum's siblingsstill lived in that area. Okay,
(51:30):
yeah, but now we're at anothershell servo and it's five twenty five am.
Obviously my parents are doing the goodthing and stopping every couple of hours
where I would have had to changeover. Yep, stop what was it?
Driver? Yes? Stop something stopstop revised, Yes, that's it,
(51:55):
because every time I come and seeyou, there's two there's two driver
of things on the way up tosee yeah, I never stopped. But
oh, it's another little bit ofrandom family trivia. My dad always kept
a log book in the glove box, and whenever we stopped to get petrol,
(52:16):
he would write in how many kilometershe'd managed to get on the last
tank and how much was like stillin there, and then how much he
filled it up with and how muchit cost? Did your dad Your dad
wasn't claiming the petrol back, wasit just fascinated by the fuel economy of
(52:38):
his vehicle. That's because working insurveys, that's not an unusual thing to
do. But it's just like,okay, well, I was thinking it
was the childlike wonder you had.Actually your dad just putting in fuel receipts
and stuff, so that he wasjust just something he did. He wanted
to make sure that his you know, system was working well. Obviously he'd
(53:00):
know if he wasn't you know,getting good fuel economy anymore. Maybe it
was time to I can't looked ator something that's nice and nerdy. Yes,
so the sun is coming up.There are no trucks stopped here.
We passed plenty on the way,though. There are some really sleepy little
(53:23):
kids here. A white cab,black bodied truck just pulled up. It's
really nice and shiny. It's calledthe First Fleet. Dad says. There's
a truck stop out the back withhalf a dozen semis in it. Ace.
Anybody who's just listening to this partcould be mistaken for thinking this is
(53:45):
the Truck Podcast or something. Darrytruck. There is a mountain nearby.
It's ace. Okay, couple,get two more and you've got a straight
flush. A four wheel drive justpulled up, and a blonde guy came
(54:06):
out and headed into the ladies shower. Weirdo. Oh he's a weirdo,
but he could have been a chickand you just didn't know. Well,
I don't know exactly. It's verypresumptive of me, but I really did
like just to observe random things andwrite about them. Yeah, I guess
(54:32):
you can call it daylight. Now. I'll go now and finish eating breakfast
Home brand barbecue snacks snacks with anX. Yes classic, that's if you
knew some of my branding from mywork. The amount of time I drop
in a X in place of anessa. Kay, yeah, yep.
(54:58):
Anyway, I have to go andsit in the front. Nice yep.
Bye. Later on the road.Just saw a dead fox, poor thing?
Was it a daylight? Now?The Dream of Little Dream soundtrack is
on. I love it. It'sAce. What's that song? Is it
(55:22):
Grin Spoon? Just Ace? Yeah? Ah, I should have written it.
Ten fifteen am. We're here.We're going to see nanny later if
you remember she was still in hospitalbecause she had another stroke. Yep.
(55:45):
Then we're going to the Bradnams tohave Chinese takeaway. Nice. Grandma Pop
Pop, Auntie Glenda and Uncle Bertwill be here soon, same with Uncle
Kel, Auntie Barbe, Nicole,Lacey and Scotty. So they are all
my mom's side of the family.I'm listening to bad like Michael Jackson all
(56:10):
the Yeah, Michael Jackson. Iprobably would have pinched that without my brother
knowing that I took the tape.Okay, now are you listening it on
your own personal listening device or throughthe car? Well, I'm there now.
I don't think I had a walkmanat this stage, but the room
(56:31):
that my brother and I always sleptin at my grandparents usually had a little
cassette player, like just a singleone with a radio. Because if you've
got me in that. If you'vegot a walkman, I'm sure we would
have heard about it. Yeah,I remember my walkman, and I'm pretty
sure I hadn't got it yet.Okay, I think I get it this
(56:53):
coming Christmas. And that's when.My breakfast was approximately six thirty a m.
More barbecue bickies. Then when Igot here, I had three pieces
of bread with sweet and sour sauce. Okay, yeah, actually sounds pretty
good. My grandma really liked chickennuggets, and when she didn't have all
(57:16):
the sauce, they get stashed inthe cupboard. Nobody ever ate them except
me obviously when I came to visit. It's a solid it's a solid,
solid Comba. Yeah, along withthe the canister of quick that I was
the only person who ever drank that, and the jar of Promite that that
(57:44):
was I think used by nineteen eightytwo or something, and I was still
using it up until where my grandparentsdied. So okay, those are special
things. You don't throw them outbecause for your grandkids, you never know,
you never know. Anyway, I'mgoing to go and watch Telly now,
(58:04):
so I'll go and I'll get Danielleand Corina to write when they get
here. And then before I left, there was just a little observation.
The air from the river used tosmell so fresh. Now it smells awful
because of all the pollution. Ah. Nice, it's not great. That's
(58:27):
a bit sad. Thursday, Septembertwenty second, nineteen ninety so we've skipped
the whole wedding trip, the wedding, and now I'm home again and it's
Thursday. I just said that,didn't I Thursday September twenty second, nineteen
(58:49):
ninety five, twelve pm. SorryI haven't written for ages. I'd be
too tired and lazy. Okay,Yes, I went shopping today and I
got ten biros. It's probably backto school shopping. Maybe ten biros,
(59:10):
five blue, two red, andthree black, and a four lecturepad,
some a four paper, two tubsof yogurt, a money order for my
ring and my watch, kay,and some chicken biscuits. And I had
(59:30):
to get some new wendies because theygave them. We're going shopping again later,
uh Thursday night. Ah. Yes, I'm getting a library book,
a black backpack, a CD PaulAbdul's Forever Your Girl, and an a
(59:52):
fourth folder pretty much back to school. Yep, I got a letter from
Pierce Clement's so he is one ofmy cousins on my mom's side. I
think he wrote because he is lonely. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated
(01:00:13):
Auntie Julie. I mean, whodoesn't. She's a dog. Okay,
right, my mom's brother's ex wife. Okay, yeah, no wonder Nancy
turned out like she has. SoNancy is Pierce's older sister. Just throw
everyone under the bus. Yeah,Auntie Julie has always laid the blame for
(01:00:37):
everything on Nancy, even when it'snot her fault. Now, Nancy has
run away so many times with thatboyfriend of hers. I wouldn't be surprised
if she ran away and came backpregnant. Okay, anyway, let's get
off that heavy subject. Mom justgot home from work. We're going shopping
(01:00:58):
and then to the Street Fair tosee Mike and Jeremy busking and see Chad
Morgan singing. Okay, it's abit a fancy. So my dad was
a big Chad Morgan fan, andhe actually was in town to sing for
(01:01:22):
this big annual thing that we had. Remember I talked about going to like
a fate or affair or something.Well, I told my mama was what's
(01:01:42):
the story. It was Robbie thatI was going out with and I never
got to see. And at onestage we're going to be telling our parents
that we were going to be meetingat the fair, but we're actually going
to go to the movies. Yeah. Yeah, it was like an extension
of that fair. But this islike in the actual streets, so just
(01:02:09):
around the shops and stuff. Okay. And on the subject of Chad Morgan,
I'm meeting him. He's going tosing at a thing at Dad's work
and Dad's going to arrange it.Nice. Nice, that's very cool,
but it didn't happen. Yeah.And also Dad has a new workmatee from
(01:02:37):
America, and Dad is going toarrange for me to ride this guy's Harley
Davidson. Yeah. Nice. Nice. That's in capital letters too, A
little bit excited, Okay, that'sa yeah, that's that's pretty huge.
(01:03:00):
I mean, it's like I cansee where your love of Hardley's now come
from. Yep, even from wayback then. Friday September twenty eight,
nineteen ninety ten, eleven PM,I saw Wade tonight. He's so cute.
(01:03:22):
Shona and him came to this songCarnival at youth group. Nothing really
happened. We just sat together,not clos or anything, but I did
touch his hand when I looked atthe manicure Shona gave him. Okay,
okay, getting this thing is ready. I'm glad things are going slow between
(01:03:50):
us. That way, it willspread the relationship out further and it will
last longer. Like you see peoplestart going out after a one night stand
and since they started with sex,they just can't go back to holding hands
because there's no thrill in it anymore. Okay, So essentially what you're doing
is the popcorn before the before thetrailers had done ethos of dating where you
(01:04:15):
don't try and eat it all stuffexactly piecemeal throughout the whole movie. Okay.
Yeah, and I'm speaking from awealth of sexual experience here, obviously
know what I'm talking about. He'sgot a more intimate relationship with your random
pair of undies. And I haveto go to sleep now. I've written
(01:04:39):
this page in a record four minutes. Oh wow, see you later,
smashing it out yep, And yeah, you will see me later because that's
the end of this episode. Okay, all right, so is there any
cliffhangers coming up or if there's anyOh no, there wasn't really anything there.
(01:05:04):
I'm guessing though. It's almost timeto go back to school. Okay,
weeks for school holidays. Yeah,very interesting. Yes, so that'll
be your term four mm of gradenine? Wow? Okay, yes,
(01:05:25):
and you're in a relationship. Now. Wade goes to your school, doesn't
he? No, he does.He goes to a private boys school.
Okay, yes, with the SmurfCurtain boys. No, they went to
my school because you know, filthypublic school boys. Oh, I'm thinking
filthy private school boys. Yeah.I mean he's the one who talks about
(01:05:49):
the nonsensored version of two Moon Junctionand three of them finger banged a chick
on their roof. They like privateschool girls, definitely. Yeah hmm okay,
all right, well, thank you, bestie. It's just it's we've
(01:06:12):
been away for a little while,we've come back, and it's just it's
interesting sinking it back into it andhow the the days sort of roll on
and yeah, it's just it's funny. You just missed the whole wedding,
Like that's this whole. It waslike, Oh, I'm going to diarize
every single stop on the way downthere, every single service station, every
(01:06:35):
single widow, every single truck,a dead fox on the road, and
then nothing. And does your diarynessof everyday life wane from here or is
it sort of? Is it stillstay strong for a bit? It stays
strong for a bit? Okay,yeah, just seeing how how where we
(01:06:59):
are in the timeline, and Ithink it's small at this point. I
really don't have much else to writeabout, okay, so hopefully we'll get
some Well it's hard for me tosay that, because hopefully we get some
good things for you to write about. But good as in good good,
not good as in like jump onthe roof type of No smurf curtains,
(01:07:23):
curtains, no professional arsonists either,No smurf curtains, only undy pillows.
Well, we will have to see. I know what to get for your
birthday now. I'm going to geta pillowcase for you and have undies printed
on the underside of them. Maybethey could be Smurf bundies. Yeah,
(01:07:43):
Smurf fundies, smurf ed Okay,all right, before we get into the
explicit tag, let's let's go andthank m. Hope you feel better and
we will. Everyone should join uson Instagram too and tell us if this
is no more. I don't wantto know. I think I already know.
(01:08:06):
I think you don't have to tellus. You can give us just
a thumbs up that we understand.So yeah, at Daria, my bestie
is our Instagram come hang out.We are not cool and we will see
you next time when we enter thefourteens full speed. Yes, I love
(01:08:28):
you very much, love you seeyou so bye bye
I've known my bestie for fifteen yearsnow, but what was she like before
I met her? Welcome to Diaryof my Bestie, where she reads to
me her childhood diaries. Or Namesand identifying places have been changed to protect
the innocent and the guilty. We'realso staying anonymous, so if you think
you know us, no you don't. Welcome back to Diary of My Bestie.
Hello Bestie, Hello bestie, andcongratulations. What have I done?
(00:24):
You didn't stuff up the intro?Oh, there's a few times there I'm
like, don't stuff off, don'tstuff I was it was there, and
I was like, do I dothe thing where I say, hey,
I didn't stuff up? Then Idid it for you. I actually and
the thing I had to stand thereand add all names, identify because I
normal to throw on a little bitof spice, not did it straight down
(00:46):
the line? You were the straightman. Yes, how are you going?
I heard you been feeling poorly.Yeah, I've had a pretty snotty
cold. So you know the typeof cold where you wish you had in
clinics because you're using so many ofthem anyway. Yes, yes, there's
(01:07):
a joke about teenage boys there butlet's pass go past. Yeah, let's
know it. Yes, so weare continuing down this path and this journey
which I have missed and eager toget back into. Yes. So we
are still in nineteen ninety and wefinish off the last episode on the eve
of my fourteenth birthday. Mm hmm, where if you recall, at one
(01:36):
minute past midnight, I would officiallybe going out with Wade, and just
to refresh everyone's memory, was wayaware of this. Yes, okay,
yes, we decided on that together. All I'm going to say kind of
little storkery vibes. But you know, you remember, doctor Phil, Yes,
(01:57):
you used to say the best predictorof future behavior is past behavior.
So I don't blame you for wonderingif Wade knew about this. Well,
you said it with the resoluteness thatare like no manifesct. It's going to
be okay, all right, Sowe're one minute past midnight and it's Friday,
(02:24):
September fourteen, nineteen ninety. Okay, at five fifty am, you've
be in a relationship for a wholefive hours and forty minutes. It's very
much like the Easter Records, somethinglike at twelve oh one, we will
have peace. What those silly peoplewho are like Jesus is going to return
(02:49):
on this date at five seven pm? Have I ever told Have I ever
told you the story about when Ireally was this smarty, smart ass in
my religion class in grade nine,actually no, grade eleven, you haven't,
but I'm sure there were many ofthose moments. The our deputy I
(03:14):
think, or one of the higherups in the in the school, took
religion with us for a good partof year eleven, and he'd like to
do this thing where he'd give alittle bits of trivia out. And then
this one day he sort of said, well, what because the year two
thousand was coming up in a coupleof years, Because what's the problem with
(03:34):
the year two thousand? And Istuck my hand up and I went from
the back of the way back ofthe room. I said, Sarah,
it happened last year. And thisgirl who was in front of me tenror
and goes what I'm like, yeah, it happened last year. And the
teacher I remember this, he said, Okay, everyone look at Bestie and
laugh, and the whole how gradeall of the class turned around and laughed
(03:57):
at me and I sat there.I'm like, I know I'm right,
and he goes, well, youknow what, he's actually right. The
Gregorian monks who did up the calendarmade a I think a rounding era or
something like that, and the yeartwo thousand is actually the year zero is
actually five BC. They made amiscalculation in it, so people expecting it
(04:20):
to come in the year two thousandit was actually supposed to come in the
year nineteen ninety five. And thegirl who said what turn around saying,
oh, you're such a nerd,and I'm like, I'm like, okay,
but we were told this in gradeseven. Our grade seven religion teacher
actually pointed this thing out. Ijust remembered it, and they were like,
(04:44):
that's not like you is a nerd. And my teacher actually picked up
the phone because they had a fancyschool that had phones between each classroom and
rang the religion teacher from grade sevenand said, did you tell a class
about this? He said, yeah, I did. Yeah. No,
he just like you guys just allforgot. He's he's not smart. He
(05:06):
just didn't forget. And I'm like, he's not smart, he's just not
forgetful. Pretty much, so butthat was my triumphant moment in the religion
class. Was like, yeah,the fact that I knew that, and
I'm like, oh, I knowthe answer to the question, and it
was exactly what he was looking forand he was he I think he was
(05:28):
a bit disappointed because he wanted toto break open that revelation. He just
spoiled his moment. I think Idid. But he was able to he
was able to go yes, oneof those ones like laugh at him,
Yeah, he's right, he's right, yeah, and he is a nerd.
Yeah, all right, So yeah, sorry, that was my That
(05:48):
was one. That's quite all right. So it's five point fifty am,
very early in the morning for meto be writing he's not real excited about
my birthday. It's real not You'vebeen up at like four o'clock in the
morning, riunning before. That's true. My birthday, I'm fourteen. I'm
(06:11):
going with Wade Nice. Nice.I'm just about to open my present from
Ron, that's my parents friend.It's very, very weird for me because
I know people with similar names andI can't not picture them in this situation.
(06:32):
Yeah. I got up and wentto the loo, and when I
came out Cleo goes meow really loud, which is feeling ease for Happy birthday,
mummy. Okay again at twelve ohone, we are in a relationship
and the cats are now talking toyou completely normal. She's like an adopted
(06:57):
daughter. I suppose a single parentcouldn't adopt a child, though, which
is what the rules were back then. I know, but it's just like,
why couldn't she just be like yourdaughter? Why did she have to
be an adopt adopted daughter. Yeah, Mum and Dad were going to adopt
once, but then they got tooold. Not the fact that you and
(07:20):
your brother are around all then.Mum was thinking really seriously about getting a
foster child. That would have beenso cool. I think we might just
be sponsoring one now. Oh well, at least it's help for a child.
Yes, it's a shame there wasn'ta child in so much danger that
(07:42):
required your care. Meow. I'vewritten this page in a record time of
five minutes. I love Wade AnthonyLeith. I'm fourteen. Then. I
have a list of presents that Igot okay, yep from mum and dad.
(08:07):
A black overnight bag, a blackand white single at top, a
black and white skirt, black andwhite leggings, sensing a theme, a
black skirt, a white peasant top, some ear rings and the Passion single
(08:28):
so overnight bag and everything like that. Are you on your way to mime
school? Maybe I am, butthere's no gloves in there. Everything's black
and white and black. Okay,right, yeah, very much. So
your passion is that song by Bangthe Drama That was my favorite song at
(08:50):
the time, and it was avinyl single. Okay, yes, that
is old school from Mike and Clint. I got a Brashes voucher a Brashes
Rashes, good old brashes for thosewho don't know. That was a music
store, which I think it juststarted out as a record store, but
(09:13):
then they expanded to like electronics andyeah, well they were. They did
CDs and everything like that, andthen as that declined, they started to
put keyboards and stuff in the back. Yeah, but it wasn't a major
focus. It was like you canalso get your stuff here. Yeah,
yeah, exactly. And then Ithink JB Hi fi ate their breakfast.
(09:37):
Yeah that sounds about right. FromAuntie Glender. I got ballerina socks,
blacknail polish, and false eyelashes.Okay, I think she put those in
there as a joke because they werereally like ridiculously, Well, you've gotten
(10:01):
black everything else, So we don'tknow. This is around the time of
beetlejuice. You never know from Ron, I got Yardly Sweet Peace, soap
and body spray and a book.What bird is that? How old was
Ron forties giving a fourteen year oldgirl soap and body spray? I actually
(10:28):
really really liked it. Oh no, I'm one hundred percent impulse type.
Yeah. Everything you're saying is notmaking my objections any less. The fact
that a forty year old dude's gettinga fourteen year old girl in pulse and
alistair. I'm not suggesting anything.No, no, no, no.
He was a bachelor, but Ireckon What probably would have happened is he
(10:54):
went into a chemist and was like, I need a present for a girl
who's turned fourteen. Can you suggestsomething? I know? But still soap
and the bird book would absolutely havebeen. Yeah, yeah, a bird
book, big tick. The soapand body wash and the body spray.
Mate, that's it's it's giving offnineteen year old vibes. Ah, Okay,
(11:20):
well the book. I still havethat book. Yes, I still
have it. Did it help youidentify birds? It did, because as
well as all the descriptions of that, it had like you know how some
books have all the color plates withthe really fancy paper and like glossy paper
and pictures, so it had allthat nice. I'll still use it.
(11:43):
I know I can look up thingson Google now, but but I prefer
to look up those pictures. Soreally good. Cool. From Debra,
I got an address book, Andfrom Kimberly, my brother's golfriend, I
got a coffin money box. Okay, do you remember the ones where you
(12:07):
put your coin on the thing andthen a little skeleton hand would come out
of the coffin and grab the coinand pull it back in. I do.
I'm interested? Did you actually?I was going to say, in
a dress book, why would youneed an address book? But I keep
having to go back to the agewhere see I I wasn't fourteen at this
time, and I didn't have friendsto go places, so I didn't need
(12:31):
a dress book. I had allmy interstate friends that I still wrote letters
to and stuff, and you werecalling people as well, and would have
phone numbers. Needed something numbers forall those boys. I don't think I
had a number of a friend untilfifteen sixteen. I think I barely talked
(12:52):
on the phone at all. Solook, I'm sure most of these boys
would have preferred if I didn't havetheir number. M Yeah, or they
had or you had their address ora secluded spot. Okay. So yeah,
(13:13):
that's my fourteenth birthday. Okay,So it was just a regular day
with some presents, presents thrown inyep. Now we're going to skip forward
to Monday, September seventeen, nineteenninety Okay, at eleven fifty seven am,
because it's the school holidays, andI don't know if you remember that
(13:37):
I was going to be going toa Chinese restaurant on the weekend for my
birthday. Yes, I do.My family and my friend Shiner. M.
So this says the weekend, Well, your friend shower, my friend
Shiner, so not my shower,not my my no. Sorry, Yes
(14:03):
it was sloppy, Yes it wasclunky, but I stand by it.
Yeah, I stayed up talking.That was a little insight into our friendship,
if anyone's wondering. I stayed uptalking to Shona until two AMM,
got in bed and talked for anotherhour. Okay, so you have the
(14:26):
same bed. No, we spoke. No, what's weirder is the idea
that you think that you jump bothjumped into bed and spoke on the phone
to each other. Oh, shewas at my house. Oh okay,
freaking over all? Right, Okay, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Okay, no makes sense. Shonais sixteen and she still doesn't get
(14:54):
her rags. Okay, scandalous,Naomi, that's one of my other friends
got hers when she was eleven likeme. Wesley Hurbaker used to be going
with Roseenne Crawley. Mm hmm,this is stuff that Shona told me.
(15:20):
Or she was staying at my house? Yep. And Shaner is your friend
do you go to school with?She's part of that group of four girls,
the three sisters and the friend.And she's also Wade's sister. Ah,
okay, the connections have all beenreattached. Yes, And that the
Urbaker boys were the ones where oneof them had the smurf curtains, which
(15:46):
is a fantastic euphuism for something.Yes. So yeah, Wesley used to
be going with Roseanne Crawley. She'sjust a girl that we know from skating.
Random he dropped her because her kneeswere bolted together. I couldn't get
her legs apart. Surely a bitof WD forty in the Spana would have
(16:11):
worked. Oh he's talking metaphorically.Okay, this is we're talking about.
He would have been thirteen. Ithink this is the way he's talking about
girls. Shona still likes Wesley.Okay, she likes looking at his bum
(16:33):
anyway, all right, says alot about his personality. Now more gossip
about these Smurf Curtain boys. See, I feel like leaning in. David,
Wesley, and Peter took a girlup on the roof of their house.
(16:55):
Okay, so they're the three brothers. And Dave fingered her, and
then Peter did, he's only eleven, and then Wesley did. I can't
believe it. Okay, how oldwas the girl? No idea. I
(17:21):
think that's a vital bit of informationthere, because as far as I know,
girls don't necessarily enjoy being bowling balls. So I don't think I want
to know because it doesn't matter whatage she is. It's going to be
very, very wrong because we've gotan eleven year old, a thirteen year
old, and a fifteen year oldboy about fifteen I think would be eh,
(17:49):
I mean fifteen and then eleven.Yeah, but if you're if you're
a fifteen year old up on aroof with three boys and they're all having
a stab at you, then likethe boundaries of age appropriation, I mean,
like you're not a mature person ifeveryone gets a turn like h But
(18:11):
you know you're talking about two highschool boys and one boy who's still in
primary school, and that just givesme them. I know, you don't
share a you don't share a ballat a bowling alley, but if you
do, then go for a strike. Anyway, it could have been not
true. It could have been somethingthat Wesley said to Trump Big Night himself.
(18:32):
But I'm more in the camp ofyes, it's not true, but
also too if it is true,then if you're the type of boys who
if type of girl hangs around withthe smurf curtain boys, well then yeah,
yeah, then smurf curtain boys gotto look out for them getting she
(18:53):
got smurfed on a roof, smurfulated. I saw Wade yesterday. Okay,
nothing happened because Mum and missus Leithwere just in the lounge room and then
mister Leith came in. But whatwould have happened if they weren't well,
I probably would have wanted to givehim a good pash. Yeah, this
(19:18):
would have been when we were droppingShowina home. Okay. I wore Wade's
Vision Street Wear shirt Saturday night,then I slept in it, then I
wore it yesterday. Did you washit today? I don't think so.
From Wade for my birthday, I'mgetting a split coin necklace. There you
(19:45):
go, classic. Yeah. Andfrom Shina, I'm getting a Vision Street
Wear shirt like Wades. Okay,So is how I've got confused? Is
Wade one of the Smurf boys?No, that's Wesley, and Wesley's who
Shana likes. Yeah, okay,I'm back in track and they all go
(20:07):
skating. Yeah, Megan gave meearrings and a necklace. Okay. I
saw Two Moon Junction yesterday. Thatname sounds like I should know it,
but I don't know. It wasa movie with Sheryl and Fenn and Richard
(20:33):
somebody or rather, and it wasbasically pawn But okay, I guess it
would have been called soft porn.But there was not much of a storyline,
and there were some really really graphicsex scenes in it. You say
that, like porn normally has decent, well developed it's like porn, but
(20:57):
it didn't have a good script actThe acting was wooden. There was no
character development. It was just itwas a movie, but it may as
well not have been because so ratherthan it's almost like porn, it was
essentially porn. Yeah, disguised asa movie that was put on television.
(21:23):
Okay, Yeah, Wade seen it. He reckons it's better on video because
they don't chop bits out and youcan slow down and pause it back and
forwards, back and forwards. Hewould say something like that, Yeah,
it's He's probably his favorite is ThreeBoys on a Roof. He likes this
(21:47):
murf movie. Just kidding. He'sjust so unbelievably good looking. I just
want to die. I'm so gladI'm going out with him. He has
everything looks, great, personality,intelligence, sense of humor, outgoing and
the fact you're not with Wade nowmakes me think, is it maybe?
(22:11):
Yeah? Conrad was the one Iliked for good looks, Nick for his
outgoingness, Marcus for his personality andsense of humor. Add all of them
together and you still wouldn't get weighed. Do you know why? Because no,
(22:33):
tell me why they're all missing intelligence? Okay, which is really mean,
because Marcus definitely wasn't unintelligent. Conradand Nick, the jury is still
out, but you were using themfor their body? Yeah, not hot.
Okay, I'm not going to dothat. It'd be interesting to go
(22:56):
back in a time machine and lookat him now and in a very non
creepy way, do an examination.Were they hot to like, were they
universally hot or were they thirteen yearold bestie city not discussingly ugly hot.
(23:18):
I think Conrad probably would have beenin the hot thing because he had that
blond surfer skater kind of vibe.Okay, Nick not so much. Nick,
definitely not. No. They hada heartbeat and sort of looked halfway
across at you once across the trafficlight. You're like, yep, that's
the one for me. I probablywon't see way during the holidays because he's
(23:44):
working. He gets three hundred dollarsa week. He's saving for a new
computer. Okay, I can't evenremember what he did. I want to
say that he worked for his dad, but his dad was a fire man,
so I don't think so he couldhave started the fires, got a
commission professional arseners. Well if there'sthere's not many fires up where you live,
(24:11):
so you never know, you neverknow. Anyway, I must go
now, I have to go shuting. That's my secret backstory for Wade.
Now he's a professional arsonist. Doyou think of Wade? You think of
fire? Well, he's hot,all right, Yeah, so I have
(24:36):
to go shopping by PS. Stayedup until approximately two am again this morning.
It's fun okay, PPS hr puffand Stuff's on at three thirty pm
this afternoon. Well that's vital information, isn't it Funny? How Like I
(24:57):
was about to say the one justbefore we're like, oh, I stay
up till two o'clock. I'm soscandalous. If you're still if you're offline
at two o'clock in the morning,I go, what's wrong? I've been
a good girl lately. I've beengetting to bit usually between ten and eleven.
Yes, because you're exhausted from sickness, not because you actually want to.
(25:19):
No, I don't want to,but I kind of have to.
Yeah, Okay. I like howI've gone from scandalous fingering sessions on roofs
to hr puff and stuff in asingle entry. Well like Smurf Curtains.
Puff and stuff could be euphemism forit stuff and puff? Was it?
(25:41):
Was it? What is it hrhuffle puff? Or was it puff and
stuff? Puff and cha puff andstuff? Here's the one when things get
rough. Well, see you go, pump and stuff, pump and stuff,
hr hr stuff and the Smurf curtains, the three Smurf Curtains present pump
(26:04):
and Stuff. That's her name,des Sturf Curtains. She was. I
think the reason I was excited aboutthis is just because that show reminds me
of being a little kid. Thatand Banana Splits and Lancelot Link Secret Chimp.
Okay remember that one, not thechimp one. No, probably actually,
(26:26):
probably I do, but you know, unless I've seen it than i've
seen it recently. It was actual, It was black and white. It
was actual chimpanzeesl Lancelot Link, SecretChimp lance a lot Secret Chimp, So
(26:52):
actual chimpanzees in clothes, and thenthey'd make them do things and they would
dub voices and stuff over the top. Oh okay, No, I haven't
really. I've seen maybe a clipof it in a meme, but no,
I don't remember this one. Yeah, we loved that one, my
brother and I. I'll try andfind you a clip of one thing that
(27:18):
as teenagers when repeats came on,there was one episode where his girlfriend was
like, yeah, may hear aLancelot? And she had this look on
her face that just made us seeourselves laughing. See if I can find
that clip. Okay, it's probablyreally really bad in terms of animal welfare
(27:42):
given in the time it was made, and you just know there's going to
be some racist sort of thing inthere somewhere. Oh yeah, most likely.
I'm pretty sure. Actually there wassome Asian okay, stereotype humor in
there in some of the like forsome of the bad guys. Eh yeah,
(28:06):
okay, not good. Yes,a lot of the shows from our
past were extremely problematic. Yes,yes, and some of them still are
the Yeah. Tuesday, September eighteenth, nineteen ninety seven, thirty one am.
I talked to Shona on the phonelast night. Wade had just gone
(28:30):
to bed. Sounds like you're datingmore than wait. Shona had just been
in to see him. He hadmy undies under his pillow. Okay,
clean clean like that makes a difference. He was holding my photo and he
(28:52):
said to Shona, y I'm surethey yes, Oh it's hidden under his
pillow and he's holding a photo ofyou. It's absolutely fine. Come on,
bestie, you if your fourteen yearold son had a girl's panties underneath
her his pillow and was holding aphoto of her, and you walked in
the room, what would you think, Yes, exactly, I don't want
(29:17):
to think exactly right. Oh,the innocence of you. Oh that's so
romantic. He had me unders underhis pillow and he's looking at your photo
of me. I'm sure this isnothing sus was happening about it. I
mean the smurf dudes are looking athim, going damn. He was holding
(29:37):
my photo and he said to Shona, I wish her bum was in it.
I'm glad you didn't try and saythat like you were trying to get
any better. It's the one thatLenn Casey ripped up, Wade taped it
back together. Okay, little Stalkrishstill has your Can we sort of go
(30:03):
back a little bit? How didhe get your undies under his bed?
I would have given Shiner a pairof them. To give to him.
You say that with a nonchalants thatlike it's perfectly normal too. I probably
thought, so, yeah, here, please give my here, sister of
(30:23):
the boy, I like, pleasegive him my panties. Can we examine
that? I know, but youput Paul Shoner in a position where she's
like, Okay, this messed upchick has just give me some mondies to
give to my brother. I'm like, ill, And now my brother's got
it under his pillow and he's lookingat a photo over and going, gee,
(30:45):
i'd like her asked to be init. Paul in all this,
He's like, but here's the reallyromantic bit. Okay, romance, here
we go. He had the shirtthat I wore, his Vision Streetwear shirt,
beside his pillow. He kept smellingit because he could smell my perfume.
(31:08):
Yeah, and he's beaten off withyondies. Yeah, I'm gonna say
it. Yes they were clean,but the Yndies were there, and he
was looking at your photo and hewas smelling me, and like he was
he was half a ladder away fromgetting on the roof. All I'm saying,
it's so sweet. He must likeme. I'm sure he does.
(31:30):
Jesus, I have three more photosfor him. Okay, listeners, you're
with me right? This is messedup, Like it's not just me.
It's like there is there is afourteen year old romance in here, but
(31:51):
it's like it's a dude with somechick sundies and a photo over and a
shirt. That's what it is,and we all know what that is.
Anyway, Shona's coming around today's togitherwith photos of Wade and some Corey Feldman
posters. Okay, all right,all right, see you later. Have
(32:17):
fun. I'll get write. I'mnot the one having fun. It sounds
like Wade's having a great time.I love Wade. I like the fact
that he's asked for a photo ofyour ass and you haven't said anything about
that. It's all he's got Monday'sunder his under his pillows and that romantic.
(32:39):
He wants to see my ass,but yeah, I to see my
mom later. Hello, this isShona today. We walked to the plaza
on the way best he wanted towrap her laugh and gear around Wade's billibong.
Okay, do you remember the adfor bill Abong icebox? I do,
(33:05):
but that was very coded language.For a blowjob. Yeah, well
it was a cock was it akrooker bar cuock a bar? Yeah,
singing rap your laugh and gear aroundPaul's bill. You couldn't have a cockatoo.
Saying that was a little bit toomuch, But yeah, well you're
the onely mentioned blowjob. And thenmy mind just went to freudy and slip
(33:27):
cocktoo. What else does shown tomean other than you want to get around
his build? That's exactly what shemeant. We were being filthy. Yes,
don't don't throw me under the bus. Here you're training in andies with
your with your best friend, yourboyfriend, throw me under the bus.
I was all talk. I wasabsolutely all talk. Clearly not because he's
(33:50):
got a pair of yourndies. Idon't think that counts as action, though
not on my part anyway, Idon't. I'm not saying action as in
physical, but I would say,like if someone said, oh, yeah,
at fourteen, I gave my boyfrienda pair of undies, Yeah,
that's pretty much that. That's you'realready half halfway on the roof. That's
(34:12):
oct At the plaza, we sawTanita Jacinta dot dot dot Sorry, shown
I couldn't finish writing she had togo home. Tanita, that sounds like
a foot disease. Terrible, Tanita. I mean you like the parents sneeze
(34:35):
when they were writing out the best. If you got something, Tonina,
Oh, I'm pretty sure there wasa singer in the late eighties called Tanita
to Cam I'm gonna look this up. I've just got this. What was
the song? Tonita? I'm notsure if I'm saying her this. Tanita
(35:00):
Tikaram, a British singer songwriter whoachieved chart success with a single card Twist
in My Sobriety in nineteen eighty eight. The you okay, can? I
retort by saying you're all fourteen,which means you were born in nineteen seventy
(35:20):
six, twelve years before. Thisrandom woman came up and talked about singing
about being drunk. Yeah, butstill the naming is an actual names.
Yeah, it's not a misspelling ofa sneeze. Yeah. Shona brought a
photo of Wade and I got itenlarged. We each got a dream,
(35:45):
a little dream picture enlarged and laminated, and another one enlarged. My wall
is full of dream a little dreamand Corey Fellman pictures and another is full
of coke ads. Okay, Sowhat was the photo? Just a regular
normal photo, Yeah, just likea headshot type, okay picture. What
(36:07):
was the photo we had of you? Oh? That was the one that
modeling a picture that I took bymy friend's pool where she was trying to
do the the water reflection thing andyou're in an assim suit. Yeah,
okay, the pieces are in it. Yeah, well that's why he had
his undy his under pillow. Yeah. Shona brought me the sleeve off of
(36:31):
one of Wade's ripped Billabong shirts andshe sprayed it with rex own a sport,
which is what he wears. Now, all I need is a pair
of his undies for the listeners athome. I closed my eyes about thirty
seconds ago in just that that sighinglike comes because once I heard about the
(36:54):
ripped sleeves and the and the theater, and I'm like, okay, here
we go. What's the what's erruh? When we went to the plaza,
I couldn't find my front door key, so I just locked the screen.
Jeremy Bruce came over and said hewas here to pick Mike up for
(37:15):
the basking competition audition. But Mikewasn't home. Maybe he tried to come
home, but he couldn't get inbecause I'd locked the screen. But then
he could have broken in the backwayor just check to see if the louvers
are open. They aren't. Hecouldn't have gotten in the backway. If
(37:36):
he couldn't get in, I'm inbig trouble. Okay, okay, So
yeah, two doors at the front. We had this big door that had
a deadlock, and then the screen. Usually we would just lock the one
with the deadlock, not bother withthe screen, but I obviously lock the
(38:00):
screen this time. I don't knowwhy he didn't have a key for the
screen. Well, to be fair, you'd lost your key, So I
lost my key to the to thedead locked door. Yeah, and he
could have lost his key. Heah, But why didn't I have them both
together? Seems silly? Did Wadehave them? Who knows? I love
(38:25):
that. It's just like, oh, well, if you forget your key,
it's okay, you just break intoyour own house around the back.
I've had to do that, especiallyat Christmas time. I had to break
in Christmas day. So just yeah, we had these lovers next to the
back door, which was the laundryso at the side of the house,
(38:45):
and if they were open, youcould literally just reach your hand in and
lock the screen because it was oneof those I had the kind of the
plastic screen handles that were really blimsyand that tiny little button lock. Yes,
yeah, it was just one ofthose. So yeah, really easy
to break into. We locked outit. We got locked out of our
(39:06):
house on Christmas morning and we hadto go back to break into the back
And it's a thing I know afair bit about. We'll say no more
than that in terms of it's askill I've developed. I had to purposely
make many mistakes out and take abouttwenty minutes to get in because missus Bestie
(39:30):
would be scared shitless if I showedher how fast I can actually get into
our house. All I needed wasone in sixty seconds literally probably about twenty
five seconds and two pieces of strappingout the back, and I could have
broken into our house. Not aproblem. But yeah, I purposely,
oh, I don't know how todo this, and so I made it
(39:52):
look like, oh I've it takesa really long time, don't worry about
it. But obviously they go likeI can just go and get back in,
yeah, back in skin. Nocriminal activity. It's just that nerdy
type of thing of like how dolocks work? Oh, and it helped
me criminal activity or just never gotcaught. No, no criminal activity.
It has helped in other situations andpressing people where things of locks have been
(40:17):
jammed and I'm like, oh herebang, but I've often turned around and
gone and fixed it where no onecan see. Just so yeah, clever,
Let's just say the combination locks onpadlocks, if you have the touch
for it, probably about twenty secondsyou can get into it. It's all
about tumbler and driving and stuff.So I could definitely probably use your skills
(40:42):
one day. Or no, I'malways forgetting keys and locking stuff and not
being able to get into stuff.I'll buy you what I bought starting out,
which was it's a padlock that's clearin acrylic and you get the lock
picking kit with it, and youcan teach yourself how to pick the lock.
(41:04):
You heard it here first, folks. Yeah, and being introduced to
a live of crime. But it'sit's actually a safety It's sold as a
safety thing because it's it's a deadlock, not a so if you're ever trapped,
you can get in. I've gotinto cash boxes houses. One of
(41:24):
the guys we hired a place andthe guy forgot to let us in,
and I said, it's okay,mate, don't worry about it, and
got us into the into the room. He's like, how to do that?
So don't ask, because if youask, I'll tell him you were
here when you're supposed to let it, and he goes it fair enough.
No worries, don't ask, don'ttell. Yeah, cars can't do,
but pad locks and house house locksand stuff, yeah, I can.
(41:49):
I can get in handy. Itcomes in handy. Sometimes. It also
makes you utterly, utterly unfaithful ofany lock, Like every time I locks
up me. Now, I'm like, I know how to get into that,
So anyone else could get into itpotentially. I like Wade so much.
(42:15):
When Dannyel sees his photo, sheis going to be so jealous.
So that's my cousin. Yes,a little bit of a spoiler alert.
We are preparing to go on aroad trip, yep, because one of
my cousins from my other side ofthe family who lives down that way is
(42:37):
getting married. Okay, so that'sgoing to be seeing Daniel. The wedding
will be excellent. There we go. That's what I'm just referring to.
Spoiler warning for the next five seconds. Must go and finish my room.
See ya. I love Wade.Mhmm. When's day, September nineteen,
(43:01):
nineteen ninety ten oh four am.My room is clean. Okay, today
I'm going to ring Shona. Thereare only two things on my bedside table.
A picture of Wade and his billabongsleeve. Okay, that's that still
(43:28):
sounds like a really bad euphemism,it does. And his billibong sleeve.
Yeah. Speaking of the sleeve,I slept with it last night. Okay.
Speaking of sleeping, I fell asleepin my clothes last night on top
of the covers. Okay, atleast it was at a decent hour ten
(43:49):
o'clock approximately. Okay. Obviously allthese two am bedtimes are getting the best
of me. Mm hmm. Thewedding will be excellent. Don't worry,
Diary, I will definitely be takingyou. I'm going to go write some
(44:09):
letters now on the computer. Wadesaid he'd write me one. I'm going
to write him a letter on Fridayand post it on Saturday. If I
have time anyway, I'd better gonow. Remember to always stand by me
and dream a little dream at night. Did you know that you need a
(44:35):
license to drive? Okay? Allnames of movies that Corey Feldman was in.
Yes, yes, still obsessed.I love Wade Anthony Leith. Don't
forget that. If you get adiary Puncher now an undated entry that wasn't
(45:00):
written by me, and it says, well, this is a very nice
diary, I'm sure, even thoughyou won't let me read it. I
think that's very rude of you.And now, something about those beautiful fairy
little fellas. Yes, hamsters.Hamsters are friendly, kind, lovable,
(45:22):
caring, sweet, nice, good, cuddly, adorable and wonderful, just
like me. Love you, JeremyHamster's rule. Okay, okay, Jeremy,
you're giving me sort of weird creepyvibes. He loves hamsters too much,
yes he, but at one pointhe had lived in England and he
(45:45):
had had hamsters as a pet.And of course you can't have hamsters in
Australia. We can't have hamsters inWe don't have hamsters or gerbils, right,
so yes, he liked Hamsters.Thursday, September twenty, nineteen ninety.
(46:07):
While I'm writing this, I'm speakingto Shona on the telephone, and
then the next part, I'm tellingher things to tell to Wade, who's
on his computer in the same room. Okay, she's on the bone.
Told Wade I wanted to go outwith him forever. He nodded. I
(46:30):
told him I wanted to live withhim. He nodded, wide eyed.
Haha. I'm off the phone now, saw de Grassi. It was the
Caitlin and Joey one where she thinkshe likes her but he likes Liz.
I'm listening to the Dream, aLittle Dream video so cruel. It would
(46:53):
have been rented. Remember I reallywanted a copy for my birthday. I
didn't get one because it would costtoo much or something. Yeah, so
I kept just re renting it fromthe video store. Cleo has thrown up
twice today, so I rang doctorRob. If she's sick again, I
(47:13):
have to take her in. I'llhave to ring Mum and tell her because
Mum would have been at work.Both my parents would have been at work,
which meant I was just home aloneor holidays with my brother flitting in
and out depending on what he wasdoing. That was very, very normal.
(47:34):
This page is almost full, soI will sign off very soon.
See you later. Have fun tillI write next. I love Wade and
then I write next. At elevenforty pm, okay, where I stopped
at a servo just outside the stateborder. There are two trucks here,
(47:59):
a mac and and I can't figureout Mum and Dad are going to have
a couppa. So I have aboutten minutes to write. So this is
the road trip. Yes, okay, ye, so Mike is not with
us, he's doing his whatever thing. And the coppa would definitely have been
made with hot water from a thermos. Okay, yes, yes, that's
(48:22):
a given. Yep, you canbuy your coffee. It'd be a tartan.
It'd be a tartan. Thermos probablywas, and they were probably those
plastic type of weare coffee mugs withthe you know, with air or one
of them would have used the littleyeah yeah. And it would have been
(48:44):
like a dark red tartan with thelike the blue and the white, and
it would have been faded and chippedon the bottom. Yeah yeah, but
I think that's how they came.Yeah, but he kept it water boiling
hot. Yeah. Seen on theroad about three hours by this point.
Okay, probably there is a guystanding outside the ladies toilet. What a
(49:09):
weirdo. He's yelling Erica into it. I wish I had a camera.
Okay, and this girl people,I guess it was probably his daughter.
Yeah, probably, yeah, littlegirl. He was doing the absolute pair,
absolutely the right thing. Yeah.Yeah, I'm going to have a
(49:31):
drink night. Now, I'll writeat the next stop, see you then.
Okay. Now we are at ashell servo and it's two twenty a
m Oh, you're doing it allnight. Okay, I'm getting pretty tired.
There's some excellent trucks here, mainlyMax. It's rather chilly here.
(49:54):
There's a white mac beside us calledCarbine with a picture of a horse.
Remember Farlat he had carbine on bothsides of his bloodline. Okay, so
random trivia from my horse mad days. There's a little motel close by.
It's cute. Big Kenilworth just camein. Trucks are my favorite automobiles after
(50:21):
motorcycles. I'm about to have acoppa. It's so cold, I hope
it warms me. Up. Anyway, I better drink this tea before it
goes cold. Only fourteen towns togo until we get to Morgan. So
was your mum and dad doing splitshift driving or yeah? Okay? And
(50:44):
we had a van and the seatsin the back lay flat ticker bed,
so whoever wasn't driving how to sleepin the back and I got to sit
in the front. Nice. Yeah. So More is where my paternal Yeah,
my paternal grandparents live there, andmy maternal grandparents used to live there,
(51:08):
which is why hopefully your mom anddad know each other and are not
related to each other. Well,that's where my parents met. Okay,
they both lived in this town theirfamilies, and that's why we're going back
there because most of my mum's siblingsstill lived in that area. Okay,
(51:30):
yeah, but now we're at anothershell servo and it's five twenty five am.
Obviously my parents are doing the goodthing and stopping every couple of hours
where I would have had to changeover. Yep, stop what was it?
Driver? Yes? Stop something stopstop revised, Yes, that's it,
(51:55):
because every time I come and seeyou, there's two there's two driver
of things on the way up tosee yeah, I never stopped. But
oh, it's another little bit ofrandom family trivia. My dad always kept
a log book in the glove box, and whenever we stopped to get petrol,
(52:16):
he would write in how many kilometershe'd managed to get on the last
tank and how much was like stillin there, and then how much he
filled it up with and how muchit cost? Did your dad Your dad
wasn't claiming the petrol back, wasit just fascinated by the fuel economy of
(52:38):
his vehicle. That's because working insurveys, that's not an unusual thing to
do. But it's just like,okay, well, I was thinking it
was the childlike wonder you had.Actually your dad just putting in fuel receipts
and stuff, so that he wasjust just something he did. He wanted
to make sure that his you know, system was working well. Obviously he'd
(53:00):
know if he wasn't you know,getting good fuel economy anymore. Maybe it
was time to I can't looked ator something that's nice and nerdy. Yes,
so the sun is coming up.There are no trucks stopped here.
We passed plenty on the way,though. There are some really sleepy little
(53:23):
kids here. A white cab,black bodied truck just pulled up. It's
really nice and shiny. It's calledthe First Fleet. Dad says. There's
a truck stop out the back withhalf a dozen semis in it. Ace.
Anybody who's just listening to this partcould be mistaken for thinking this is
(53:45):
the Truck Podcast or something. Darrytruck. There is a mountain nearby.
It's ace. Okay, couple,get two more and you've got a straight
flush. A four wheel drive justpulled up, and a blonde guy came
(54:06):
out and headed into the ladies shower. Weirdo. Oh he's a weirdo,
but he could have been a chickand you just didn't know. Well,
I don't know exactly. It's verypresumptive of me, but I really did
like just to observe random things andwrite about them. Yeah, I guess
(54:32):
you can call it daylight. Now. I'll go now and finish eating breakfast
Home brand barbecue snacks snacks with anX. Yes classic, that's if you
knew some of my branding from mywork. The amount of time I drop
in a X in place of anessa. Kay, yeah, yep.
(54:58):
Anyway, I have to go andsit in the front. Nice yep.
Bye. Later on the road.Just saw a dead fox, poor thing?
Was it a daylight? Now?The Dream of Little Dream soundtrack is
on. I love it. It'sAce. What's that song? Is it
(55:22):
Grin Spoon? Just Ace? Yeah? Ah, I should have written it.
Ten fifteen am. We're here.We're going to see nanny later if
you remember she was still in hospitalbecause she had another stroke. Yep.
(55:45):
Then we're going to the Bradnams tohave Chinese takeaway. Nice. Grandma Pop
Pop, Auntie Glenda and Uncle Bertwill be here soon, same with Uncle
Kel, Auntie Barbe, Nicole,Lacey and Scotty. So they are all
my mom's side of the family.I'm listening to bad like Michael Jackson all
(56:10):
the Yeah, Michael Jackson. Iprobably would have pinched that without my brother
knowing that I took the tape.Okay, now are you listening it on
your own personal listening device or throughthe car? Well, I'm there now.
I don't think I had a walkmanat this stage, but the room
(56:31):
that my brother and I always sleptin at my grandparents usually had a little
cassette player, like just a singleone with a radio. Because if you've
got me in that. If you'vegot a walkman, I'm sure we would
have heard about it. Yeah,I remember my walkman, and I'm pretty
sure I hadn't got it yet.Okay, I think I get it this
(56:53):
coming Christmas. And that's when.My breakfast was approximately six thirty a m.
More barbecue bickies. Then when Igot here, I had three pieces
of bread with sweet and sour sauce. Okay, yeah, actually sounds pretty
good. My grandma really liked chickennuggets, and when she didn't have all
(57:16):
the sauce, they get stashed inthe cupboard. Nobody ever ate them except
me obviously when I came to visit. It's a solid it's a solid,
solid Comba. Yeah, along withthe the canister of quick that I was
the only person who ever drank that, and the jar of Promite that that
(57:44):
was I think used by nineteen eightytwo or something, and I was still
using it up until where my grandparentsdied. So okay, those are special
things. You don't throw them outbecause for your grandkids, you never know,
you never know. Anyway, I'mgoing to go and watch Telly now,
(58:04):
so I'll go and I'll get Danielleand Corina to write when they get
here. And then before I left, there was just a little observation.
The air from the river used tosmell so fresh. Now it smells awful
because of all the pollution. Ah. Nice, it's not great. That's
(58:27):
a bit sad. Thursday, Septembertwenty second, nineteen ninety so we've skipped
the whole wedding trip, the wedding, and now I'm home again and it's
Thursday. I just said that,didn't I Thursday September twenty second, nineteen
(58:49):
ninety five, twelve pm. SorryI haven't written for ages. I'd be
too tired and lazy. Okay,Yes, I went shopping today and I
got ten biros. It's probably backto school shopping. Maybe ten biros,
(59:10):
five blue, two red, andthree black, and a four lecturepad,
some a four paper, two tubsof yogurt, a money order for my
ring and my watch, kay,and some chicken biscuits. And I had
(59:30):
to get some new wendies because theygave them. We're going shopping again later,
uh Thursday night. Ah. Yes, I'm getting a library book,
a black backpack, a CD PaulAbdul's Forever Your Girl, and an a
(59:52):
fourth folder pretty much back to school. Yep, I got a letter from
Pierce Clement's so he is one ofmy cousins on my mom's side. I
think he wrote because he is lonely. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated
(01:00:13):
Auntie Julie. I mean, whodoesn't. She's a dog. Okay,
right, my mom's brother's ex wife. Okay, yeah, no wonder Nancy
turned out like she has. SoNancy is Pierce's older sister. Just throw
everyone under the bus. Yeah,Auntie Julie has always laid the blame for
(01:00:37):
everything on Nancy, even when it'snot her fault. Now, Nancy has
run away so many times with thatboyfriend of hers. I wouldn't be surprised
if she ran away and came backpregnant. Okay, anyway, let's get
off that heavy subject. Mom justgot home from work. We're going shopping
(01:00:58):
and then to the Street Fair tosee Mike and Jeremy busking and see Chad
Morgan singing. Okay, it's abit a fancy. So my dad was
a big Chad Morgan fan, andhe actually was in town to sing for
(01:01:22):
this big annual thing that we had. Remember I talked about going to like
a fate or affair or something.Well, I told my mama was what's
(01:01:42):
the story. It was Robbie thatI was going out with and I never
got to see. And at onestage we're going to be telling our parents
that we were going to be meetingat the fair, but we're actually going
to go to the movies. Yeah. Yeah, it was like an extension
of that fair. But this islike in the actual streets, so just
(01:02:09):
around the shops and stuff. Okay. And on the subject of Chad Morgan,
I'm meeting him. He's going tosing at a thing at Dad's work
and Dad's going to arrange it.Nice. Nice, that's very cool,
but it didn't happen. Yeah.And also Dad has a new workmatee from
(01:02:37):
America, and Dad is going toarrange for me to ride this guy's Harley
Davidson. Yeah. Nice. Nice. That's in capital letters too, A
little bit excited, Okay, that'sa yeah, that's that's pretty huge.
(01:03:00):
I mean, it's like I cansee where your love of Hardley's now come
from. Yep, even from wayback then. Friday September twenty eight,
nineteen ninety ten, eleven PM,I saw Wade tonight. He's so cute.
(01:03:22):
Shona and him came to this songCarnival at youth group. Nothing really
happened. We just sat together,not clos or anything, but I did
touch his hand when I looked atthe manicure Shona gave him. Okay,
okay, getting this thing is ready. I'm glad things are going slow between
(01:03:50):
us. That way, it willspread the relationship out further and it will
last longer. Like you see peoplestart going out after a one night stand
and since they started with sex,they just can't go back to holding hands
because there's no thrill in it anymore. Okay, So essentially what you're doing
is the popcorn before the before thetrailers had done ethos of dating where you
(01:04:15):
don't try and eat it all stuffexactly piecemeal throughout the whole movie. Okay.
Yeah, and I'm speaking from awealth of sexual experience here, obviously
know what I'm talking about. He'sgot a more intimate relationship with your random
pair of undies. And I haveto go to sleep now. I've written
(01:04:39):
this page in a record four minutes. Oh wow, see you later,
smashing it out yep, And yeah, you will see me later because that's
the end of this episode. Okay, all right, so is there any
cliffhangers coming up or if there's anyOh no, there wasn't really anything there.
(01:05:04):
I'm guessing though. It's almost timeto go back to school. Okay,
weeks for school holidays. Yeah,very interesting. Yes, so that'll
be your term four mm of gradenine? Wow? Okay, yes,
(01:05:25):
and you're in a relationship. Now. Wade goes to your school, doesn't
he? No, he does.He goes to a private boys school.
Okay, yes, with the SmurfCurtain boys. No, they went to
my school because you know, filthypublic school boys. Oh, I'm thinking
filthy private school boys. Yeah.I mean he's the one who talks about
(01:05:49):
the nonsensored version of two Moon Junctionand three of them finger banged a chick
on their roof. They like privateschool girls, definitely. Yeah hmm okay,
all right, well, thank you, bestie. It's just it's we've
(01:06:12):
been away for a little while,we've come back, and it's just it's
interesting sinking it back into it andhow the the days sort of roll on
and yeah, it's just it's funny. You just missed the whole wedding,
Like that's this whole. It waslike, Oh, I'm going to diarize
every single stop on the way downthere, every single service station, every
(01:06:35):
single widow, every single truck,a dead fox on the road, and
then nothing. And does your diarynessof everyday life wane from here or is
it sort of? Is it stillstay strong for a bit? It stays
strong for a bit? Okay,yeah, just seeing how how where we
(01:06:59):
are in the timeline, and Ithink it's small at this point. I
really don't have much else to writeabout, okay, so hopefully we'll get
some Well it's hard for me tosay that, because hopefully we get some
good things for you to write about. But good as in good good,
not good as in like jump onthe roof type of No smurf curtains,
(01:07:23):
curtains, no professional arsonists either,No smurf curtains, only undy pillows.
Well, we will have to see. I know what to get for your
birthday now. I'm going to geta pillowcase for you and have undies printed
on the underside of them. Maybethey could be Smurf bundies. Yeah,
(01:07:43):
Smurf fundies, smurf ed Okay,all right, before we get into the
explicit tag, let's let's go andthank m. Hope you feel better and
we will. Everyone should join uson Instagram too and tell us if this
is no more. I don't wantto know. I think I already know.
(01:08:06):
I think you don't have to tellus. You can give us just
a thumbs up that we understand.So yeah, at Daria, my bestie
is our Instagram come hang out.We are not cool and we will see
you next time when we enter thefourteens full speed. Yes, I love
(01:08:28):
you very much, love you seeyou so bye bye
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.