Analogue Tinder

Will Trevor break Bestie's heart? 
What's the best thing to order from the Kmart Cafeteria?
Is Johnny Young old?
All these questions and more will be answered in this episode.

And remember, if you think you know us - no, you don't!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
I've known my bestie for fifteen yearsnow, but what was she like before
I met her? Welcome to Diaryof my Bestie, where she reads to
me her childhood diaries. All thenames and identifying places have been changed to
protect the innocent and the guilty.We're also staying anonymous ourselves, so if
you think you know us, noyou don't. Welcome back to Diary of
My Bestie. Hello, Besty,Hello Bestie. How are you? I

(00:24):
am quite well, that's good.I'm very keen to get into here the
second part of this epic saga aboutTrevor. Trevor, see what he does
and see what well? Russian Trevor, what's call him? Russian Trashi Trevor.
Okay, I'm interested to see whathe's done. Okay, whether or

(00:46):
not he's going to hurt me,we know he is, so there's no
suspense there. It's the how insertculture club reference here? Or actually,
I take it back. My apologiesto Trevor. You're getting to the age
where it could be you. Butwe'll see. We'll see you have snugged

(01:08):
on with other people, so it'snot outside your bounds. True. Thursday,
February twenty second nineteen ninety. DearDarry, I did not write yesterday
because I was sick with headaches,dizziness and shaking. Anyway, I'm homesick

(01:30):
again today. It's got to beone of the best days to get sick,
because guess what's on at twelve twentyfive pm on the ABC. Inger's
in the Lost City of Gold DegrassiJunior High. Okay, sorry, sorry,
we are We are two stars fromdifferent universes at this stage. Al

(01:53):
right, so I am so happy. That's got to be one of the
best shows ever to be made.I hope it's a good episode. Anyway,
I'm going to watch the Rocky HorrorPicture Show for now, and before
I forget. The Lost Boys ison on Monday night. Excellent. I'll

(02:15):
write more after de grassy a bigblock of must watch TV. Yes,
these were, of course the dayswhen it would take years usually for something
to reach Telly. When did TheLost Boys come out? That would have
been nineteen eighty seven and it's nownineteen nine. I was young when it

(02:38):
did. I remember. It's traumatizing. Excellent, all right. I don't
actually write more after de Grassi becauseit's now Friday, February twenty third,
nineteen ninety Interesting, no reference toTrevor. Hmmm, did I'm home again

(03:01):
today? Mike just rang from school. He'd been talking Why don't I have
an appending sense of dread? He'dbeen talking to Hannah Hillcrest. Okay,
she was talking to Trevor the nighthe came skating. Okay, he only

(03:25):
went out with me because I persuadedhim. Okay, he even got with
another girl that Friday night. That'snot cool. He was going to drop
me that Saturday night, but that'swhen he was distant. Yeah, he

(03:50):
was trying to get Hannah to dropme for him all night, but she
wouldn't because she knew how upset I'dbe. Okay, Remember, this is
the guy who told me that he'dnever had a girlfriend before, but he's
suddenly getting with random girls. Didhe tell you not to interrogate you?

(04:14):
But did he tell you directly thathe never had girlfriends before? That's when
I gave him that card. Hetold me he was really nervous because he'd
never had a girlfriend before. Justto get clarification again, girlfriend as it
was he after the three fs,but not an R. Maybe he's he's

(04:36):
gotten with heaps of girls, buthe's never had a girl. Ye,
that been it? Lucky. Ididn't go to school because Mike would have
told me there and I would havecried there. I should are we No
you go? No, no,trust me. Mine has to finish after

(04:58):
yours, So you go. That'swhat you said. Yes, I should
have listened to everybody. Trevor isthe following bastard, shitthead, creep,
fucking wanker, fuckhead, asshole,stag, cunt, pull job, bogain,

(05:27):
idiot head, banana nos zero IQ, stupid blockhead, has the IQ
of space, Frankenstein, elephant,porcupine, and a user. I am
upset, but mainly with myself forbeing such a dickhead that I couldn't see

(05:54):
what was coming. Now, wheneverI hear the song when I See You
Smile, it'll add to the soullist. Don't don't Don't you dare ruin
that song for me? It's oneof my all time favorite songs. Don't
you sually that song for me?Goodbye. I won't be writing for a

(06:15):
while. Bad English is When ISee You Smile is one of my all
time favorites. Spoiler it didn't spoilit for me because I still love that
song. So it's okay, okay, very good, excellent? Are we?
Are we in a self reflective moodof cognitively reframing the situation? Do

(06:38):
you think how well? I'm nottaking Trevor's side here, but let's let's
look at it, at it fromoutside the window. Trevor, nineteen year
old guy, decent looking guy,probably emotional immature, hence no girlfriends.

(07:06):
You very confident, know what youwant and don't really take no for an
answer and chase the issue down.If you want something, you go after
it with no reserves and no questions. Right? Is there a small amount

(07:27):
of grace to gifts Trevor? Thathim being nineteen and you being thirteen is
weird? And while at the startit was a novel idea, he realized
that he was in it for thewrong reasons and has picked a less than

(07:48):
elegant way to extract himself from thatsituation, not necessarily for your benefit.
But could you have dodged a bulletand he's actually gone, You know what,
I'm not what this person wants orneeds, and it's gifting a whole

(08:15):
lot of grace to him. Butdo you think that he's basically gone,
yeah, this is too much andthis is not cool. Yeah, but
it would have been better if hejust said that in the first place instead
of stringing me along. I know, I look one hundred percent agree with
you there, but we're also askingnineteen year old dudes who are dating thirteen

(08:41):
year old guys to have emotional maturity, to have the foresight to do that.
I mean, he should have justnever gone there in the first place.
He should have just said, Hey, I'm nineteen, you're thirteen.
I'm your dance teacher. It's nothappening. But when you want something,

(09:01):
you don't let go. So chaa. You not gonna lie when you get
when you get the look, youare intimidating. There has been instances between
us two where you've wanted something andI'm like, and I've just gone on
along with it because I like myhead in the current arrange that it's on.

(09:26):
Yeah, yeah, take after mymom in that way very much.
Show like that's I was skipping aroundthat subject without saying, hey, you're
your mom, because that's not alwaysthe coolest thing to say. Let's just
say in the orchard, the littletree is growing right next to the big,

(09:46):
Yes, the apple didn't fall farst. Yes, this is true cognitive
reframing. It was probably a suckysituation that was actually beneficial. And he
may have I've done the right thingand the wrong way. Yes, And
you know a little bit of awarenesshere being upset with myself for not seeing

(10:11):
the situation as it really was.But careful not to blame yourself for that
situation, because there was two partiesinvolved, and one of them was supposed
to be more adult in that.But the circumstances around it were like,
I've seen those look in your eyes. There's situations where it's just easier to

(10:31):
say no because yeah, and Iwould speak to all your members of your
family and they would recognize the lookwhere it's just like, yeah, okay,
this is not okay. I'll describeit this way. There are some
times when you realize it's not adiscussion. There's no things to discuss.

(10:56):
There is no back and forward exchangingof ideas. It's like, here's what's
happening, Get on the bus orgo home. I don't want to be
that sort of friend, but no. But the thing is that the bus
that you normally schedule is a goodone, and worth getting on. But
I know that there's it's not abad thing. It's very much like a

(11:18):
you. There are times when youhave picked the right course and there's no
point of debate because it's like,get in, we're going shopping. Pretty
much, get in, loser,we're going shopping. That type of thing.
Yeah, there are times where you'rejust like, okay, yep,
it hurts. It hurts more topushback. Okay, Well I'm the one

(11:39):
who is a good thing. It'sa good thing. Yeah, I know,
I'm the one. I just wantto assure you. It is a
good thing. I am giving youpraise. It is a trait I admire
about you, is your agency andyour ability to know what you want and
know that and chart the right course. It's yep. And there are times
where you where we look at itand go yep, okay, that's what's

(12:03):
happening. There's that confidence I supposestill there, very much, and slightly
little bit of scary confidence. Wellyeah, so I'm not writing for a
while. Okay, so boo Trevor, but tiny yay, but boo Trevor.

(12:24):
So yeah. So that was Friday, February twenty third, during the
school did anything happen on Valentine's Day? Or was that that was a non
event except for the car. Yeah, I just gave him a card.
Okay, So then I didn't writeagain until Saturday, February twenty four at

(12:46):
twelve thirty three am, So twelvehours later. Okay, because you're actually
scared, then this is the exactthing. The way that you said that
is like, Okay, this iswhat's going to happen. There's going to
be a break, there's going tobe an emotional reason for it. And
you're like, no, twelve hours. But trust me, after the last

(13:09):
couple of entries, the fact thatwas more than two hours and you hadn't
made six phone calls at that time, isn't a significant thing? A little
bit stalkery there, dear Diary.I could sleep if I tried, but
I couldn't be bothered trying. I'vebeen thinking of a lot of things.

(13:31):
I just heard this tape of JohnSmith talking about sex, relationships and stuff.
It was interesting. Now I'm thinking, will I ever find the right
guy? Look, I know I'myoung, and I have a lot of
living to do and guys to meet, But when will all the good bits
start? All the hugging and kissingand stuff. Maybe I'll go out and

(13:56):
meet a whole lot of guys likeit the overnight skate tonight. Okay,
so she has been unshackled. Andwho was the one who said you got
with one hundred and twenty one guysor whatever? Oh that was one of
my brother's friends. Well, allbetter off tonight. Let's break that record.

(14:22):
What about Kevin Samson, Jeffrey Ross, Terry Winslow, justin major Even
they're my age, it would bemore approving. They are all boys in
my class at school. You saythat, that's a the fact that you
had to clarify. That says everything. Guys, watch out, I'm letting

(14:50):
loose. Oh no, okay,okay, Project number one, you've numbered
them all right, Let's go overnightskate Okay, not guys, okay,
just might meet some very nice boys. Yes, Project number two. He'll

(15:15):
high get Rachel to show guys myphoto. She'll give my address and phone
number to anyone interested. So analogueTinder, Yeah, for a thirteen year
old and your friends shopping you around? Yeah, like an arranged marriage going.

(15:43):
I've got a thirteen year old girl, Are you interested? I've got
to contact you tols just just foryou people who are listening. Bestie did
a major, major face palm justnow. It was pretty epic. Oh
you. I was gonna say it'slike perfect match, but even perfect Match

(16:07):
had a little bit of filtering.Just okay. Look, I'm being loving
and supporting and I'm being very verygiving you lots of grace in your current
situation. But your plan involved Hey, take my flyer and hand it out
to any dude with a heartbeat whoshows interest. Was she going to filter

(16:32):
these guys for you? Or isit like first come first? I can
see she wouldn't have well I supposethat's air quotes better. Yeah, she
wouldn't have given my number to anyonewho like sucked ors awful. Okay,
all right, well this is aplan. Yes, I'm not going to

(16:52):
say it's a good plan, butit's certainly a plan. It's not the
end of the plan either, OhGod. Okay, Now Stage three,
project number three. Okay, KevinSampson. If the above projects fail within
two days, putting a time limiton it, try this one. Find

(17:17):
out if Kevin likes me. Ifso, two write him notes during music
He was in my music class three, go out with him. If he
doesn't like me, then project numberfour. There isn't one yet, just

(17:40):
wait and see what event eventuates fromprojects one, two, and three.
Okay, three questions, Yes Kevin, Yes, new character in our story.
New character. So any interest beforethis day? Or was just basically
he was the next one on thelist. I knew who he was in

(18:03):
grade eight, but I wasn't inany of his classes. But this year
he's in my my music class,so I've gotten to know him over the
last few weeks. Yep, didyou have a plan for the first for
stage one? Like? Did youhave like a menu to try? Or

(18:26):
I do go with all these dudes? You again? I do. There's
a bit of an explanation going,yeah, sorry, I jumped the gun
a little bit. Oh that's okaybecause it does say later, so okay,
later on Because this was what thatwas like twelve thirty in the morning
that I wrote all of that,Dearest Diary, it's the same morning,

(18:49):
except it's now seven forty three amMay. Seven hours sleep for a thirteen
year old. Got to get readyfor that, get ready for you project
night. I hope my projects workProject number one is being put to work
tonight. Project number two will beon Monday, and number three next Wednesday

(19:15):
or Thursday, probably Thursday because wedon't have music on Wednesday. Okay,
so thirteen year old making do youappointment? Yes, I'll probably meet someone
tonight. I'll meet I'm sure ofit. I'll meet them and get talking
for six hours exactly or depending onwho it is, for twelve hours.

(19:41):
So I'm I'm planning on talking tothem either from exactly halfway through the overnight
skate or from the beginning of theall night skate, because it's twelve hours
long. So could you have beensaying, well, I'm going to do
it for six hours so you getat if you start at six o'clock at

(20:02):
night. At twelve o'clock at midnight, you're like, yes, sorry,
thanks for your time on the project, but we've decided to move in a
different direcon It could be. Itcould be it's like a very long interview,
because the way you said is like, I'll give him six hours or
depending if he goes all right,he'll get twelve. Yeah, okay,
well it could be the entire night, depending who it is. Okay,

(20:27):
all right, I'm not going toget with anybody unless Rachel find somebody too.
So, being a good friend,I'm not going to go off and
pash someone and leave my friend beingthe third wheel in now that now,
the multiple years later, is thata little bit weird. I'm not going

(20:49):
to snug on unless my friend getsomeone to snug on with. See now
I'd be like, don't get it, I don't care. Yep, Okay,
all right, I should hook herup with She didn't have a project
that's the thing. She didn't havea project planner. She was pretty boy

(21:11):
crazy, though I do remember maybeshe didn't need that level of coordination and
organization. So I should hook herup with Sean Fielding or Terry Winslow because
they'll probably turn up. What aboutRaymond? Ha ha? I like that.

(21:32):
I'm going to get my friend aboyfriend because these two dudes are going
to actually turn up. That's thethat's the category. It's like, yep,
you walked in the door and you'realive here if he's my friend?
Oh no, these were like youremember I've mentioned Sean Fielding before. He
was that guy who said will youpash me sometime? Yeah, I've just
got to I just want to quicklylook up who Raymond is because I can't

(22:00):
remember where are we Raymond? Whoare you? And why do I think
that's funny? I don't know whyI think that's funny because he was an
Okay, dude, Well you're goingto give you a friend to pash on
with him? So yeah, butI said, ha ha, Okay,

(22:30):
I'm watching Rage right now. It'ssome of that beautiful house music. Unfortunately,
some of it reminds me of thatdisgusting guy whose name I won't mention
or I'll throw up all over theplace. Okay, Trevor, Yeah,
erecked house music for me for alittle while. Actually, I hope he's

(22:57):
there tonight. I'll really stand upfor myself and tell him where to go.
And if he thinks he's still goingout with me, he's got another
thing coming. I'm going to readup on some insults and I'm going to
call him an arrogant, impertinent,over sexed, moronic cretin in front of

(23:18):
everybody. Oh, ain't be shouting, just standing there with a big smile
on my face. Then I'll say, you should have told me you were
like this before. Then I wouldn'thave been so shocked when you told me
of all the girlfriends that had leftyou. I feel really sorry for the
next girl you go out with.You're such a user. People like you

(23:41):
don't deserve to have friends. Ireally hope you burn in hell. Hush
here it says he told me ofall the girlfriends that had left you,
But earlier I said he'd said he'dnever had a girlfriend. What the heck?

(24:03):
But I go back to my earlierthing that he was a handsome dude
and even the thirteen year olds ridedto ride his d all right, So
is there a chance where he wasdeep in hookup culture at that stage?
But maybe the a few of thegirls he hooked up with he wanted to

(24:27):
have relationships with, but it wasjust that ships and the night type of
thing. Yeah. Possibly, buthe's probably too wimpish to turn up and
face me. Okay, I'm goingto see Rachel, who's at the hairdressers

(24:51):
this morning. She's getting her hairpermed. I'm going down to get some
chips and tampons. Having your ragsfor the overnight skate that okay, I
can't imagine, but okay, probablynot fun. I used to get pretty
bad cramps, so mm hmm.You still do though sometimes this may have

(25:17):
been while I was sick. Yeah, I was like pmsing or having cramps
or something. And could it thisis such a stereotypical, not cool thing
to say, but could that alsobe fueling your current writing style? Oh
absolutely yeah? Okay, hormones allover the place. Yeah, yeah,

(25:44):
okay, sure, I'm still watchingRage. I'll sign off now, then
finish watching Rage, then go downand see Rachel. Then when I get
back, I'll have my breakfast,clean my room and feed the bird.
My arm is getting sore from riding. All right, tomorrow, Okay.

(26:07):
So yeah, this hairdresser with Rachelwas getting her hair done, was like
the shops just down the road fromwith the tampons and the chips had.
They had like a little supermarket anda chemist and a hairdresser and you know
newsagent stuff like that. A fishand chip shop. Yes, I was

(26:32):
probably getting potato chips, though nothot chips. We're not going to start
this conversation with my friends in theUK. No, we're the weirdest thing.
There's chips, chips and chips.Yes, they're not crisps, they're
just chips. The chips chips andchips exactly, although hot chips dipped in

(26:53):
slurpies from Kmart. I haven't triedthat. Well, there was I don't
know if you had a Kmart whenyou were younger. A lot of k
martes have cafes in it. Yeah, the little CAFETERI up the back.
Grandfather used to take me to Kmartdown the coast all the time and we'd

(27:14):
get a slurpy each and a bigbowl of chips and you dip the chips
in the slurpy. Nice. Ialways got a Kmart cafeteria and the Maya
Cafeteria for that matter, ham sandwichon white bread and a milkshake. See.
My play was to skip lunch andget the pick to pick your own

(27:37):
chocolates from the spinning pick a mixsing at the Meyer Center and the spinning
category thing. Nice. Yeah,that's a bit of a flashback. Kmart
cafe was always my thing because itwas always chips and chips and slushies with

(27:57):
my grandfather. So yeah, Idon't know about the time that you went
there, but when I did,they had the little wooden trays, yes,
wooden lemonated trays that you'd slide pastall the things of food and then
you'd order your hot food if youwanted your chips or whatever at another section.

(28:21):
And you go to Ikea now andit's that type of thing as well.
So I haven't eaten American. Wehave to. You have to come
down and you have to. I'vemade knock off Ikea meatballs which were delicious,
but I haven't had actual. Youknow, you can buy frozen meatballs
from my kid and the sauce likethat. They've got the little things out

(28:45):
the front that's got the freezer andyou buy the meatballs and then they've got
the packets, the flavor packets forthe for the gravy. Frozen balls.
Yes, next time, next timeI'll come, I'll bring up pack of
frozen balls. Because what you dois you do that and you put it
on white soft bread rolls and putthe gravy on it and have meat or

(29:07):
sub yes please, and then chipsand news. Yeah. Okay, all
right, so I write that down. Let's see if project one was fruitful.
Okay, okay, Sunday free eggplantor banana. Come, it's getting

(29:33):
laid, folks. It's late.It's getting late. I'm getting loose.
Sunday February twenty fifth, nineteen ninetyDear Diary, the overnight skate was excellent?
How excellent? You know the girlthat Trevor got with? Are you

(29:56):
asking me? Or is this youright? Diaries asking you? Okay,
sorry, no, I don't,Diry. Sorry. It was Kirsty Oldbrey?
So is that the is that thetoo many names? So? Is
Kirsty Oldbrey the person that he toldthat he wanted to break up with you?

(30:18):
Akay, tell me that that wasHannah? Okay, Hannah, that's
what it is, Okay. Kirsty'sbeen mentioned a few times. She was
going out with Robert when I wasgoing out with Jamie Flynn. Okay,
yeah, yeah, and then atone stage I'd broken up with Jamie,
and then I said that I hatedher. Now okay, And now how

(30:40):
old is she? She is likea year older than me, or maybe
two at the most, let's hopefor two. Yeah, she's going with
Trevor now, okay. I didn'ttalk to her much. She tried to
talk to me once and I puton a tone of voice which meant gosha

(31:03):
a bitch, and it worked.Okay, was Trevor there? I called
Trevor tons of stuff. It wasexcellent, Okay, all right. Then
I thought I liked a guy,but then I didn't like him. And

(31:26):
then I met this other guy andI do like him, but the light
switching off and I didn't like himand another guy, and we're getting married
next Tuesday unless we don't. Well, maybe that first guy. I chatted
to him for six hours and decidedno, he's not it, and then
moved on to the next one.You reckon. He would have got the

(31:48):
full six though. I mean,you had to fit in all the name
calling, and you had to fitin the expressing to this girl that she's
a bitch when she's probably and okay, let's let's grant her a small amount
of grace. Did she know thesituation? So when she got with Trevor?
Did she know that she was?Was she an acting partner in this

(32:13):
betrayal? Or was she just likeand innocent got with her? I got
with a person she knew. Okay, right, yeah, bitch, Moving
on to this boy I have justmet. His name is Marcus Best and
he is so cute. Oh God, here we go. Okay. I

(32:36):
found out he is in year elevenat my school. So give me the
age gap here. I'm in gradenine, so it's only two years that
it's a refreshing non rape change.So at this stage I was thirteen,
he would have been fifteen. Idon't have to use the phrase statutory rape.

(33:00):
Okay. We sat really close togetherand I did my usual dirty jokes
and crude comments like always, andhe laughed. Okay, he slept on
my pillow. He used you alsoon that pillow? Well, did he

(33:20):
just steal it? No? No, I taken. I had this blue
satin pillow case that a friend ofmine had made for me. It was
my favorite pillowcase. I took apillow in case I felt tired. I
was at like a picnic table typething, just talking to people, and
he just took that and put iton top of the table, put his
head down on it and had alittle snooze. Okay, all right,

(33:45):
he used my panadole. Okay,must mean something someone. Obviously I gave
it. He can use your pillow. Yeah, you can't use your true
because if he's giving it back,it's like no thanks. He's going with

(34:06):
somebody, but he's breaking up withher to go out with me. How
quickly the standards flip, basically callingTrevor andte and this other chick an absolute
asshole slut. Oh. By theway, they did get it on him
and I didn't. We were justtalking. Yeah, but you conspired on

(34:28):
a night knowing each other for thirtyseconds, you break up with that person
so we can fall madly in lovefor a white hot seventeen hours or something.
I don't still better than just gettingit on kinder back. Okay,
I'm going to maintain that stance.It's very important to me. Okay,

(34:50):
there's a correct order that you dothings in. Yes, yes, even
though you want the D as longas you don't get the D until the
paper were exhorted. The more youknow. He invited me to a party
next Friday night, but since Idon't know him too well, I gave
it a pass. Let's pull oneout for the never gone to a pool

(35:17):
party that that young bloke said justto me. Yeah, Paul can't like
Paul Kent still sits in his poolgoing if only, but he is coming
skating next Saturday night, he smokes, but I don't. I'm very I'm
very you can tell I'm very tiredbecause all these phrases. You're saying,

(35:42):
it's pinging my natural senses because he'scoming next Saturday night. I'm like,
yeah, he is, but nodepends how quickly breaks up with his other
girl. He smokes, but Idon't mind. I might have a few
puffs. Okay. He's a bitlike Jason and Kent. And then he

(36:02):
brackets root rats. Okay, how'sthat for a great Aussie term? Root
rat? So we're going on toseven fs now because we've got to We've
got to include the F word forcigarettes that we can't say anything. Yes,
uh so he's a bit. He'sa bit of a root rat.
But I reckon he could be reallycaring. He could be I can change

(36:30):
your mum. I could change you. I'll get to know him during the
week, Okay, yeah, wewe will. I'll figure out what his
last name is and then we'll thinkabout this. Well, I know the
last his name is Marcus Best.Okay, so you know that that matters.

(36:53):
I don't know what he's to do. Beforehand, you didn't know he
was Russian. Never found out hisRussian name, So this can't be relied
on. Maybe not. It couldbe Marcus Borschkiel for some reason, Markov
Yeah, Mark mark Off. Allright, now we are moving back to

(37:16):
the countdown diary. Okay, okay, was there reasons for ship shifting between
the two or just I remember?I can't remember. Yeah, And it's
now a week later, Saturday,March the third, nineteen ninety so postpool

(37:37):
party didn't go to but pre skatinghe might come to and come to.
I've been thinking some pretty heavy thoughtsabout life, God and death. You
know, I really want to bea Christian and I'm trying, really i
am. I just don't think I'mready to devote my whole life to Jesus.

(38:01):
I'll have to throw most of mylife away. Maybe I give in
to Satan too much. I musttry harder. It's just so much hard
work. Favorite song Nothing Compares byShaneid O'Connor, Okay, just basically like

(38:25):
ran over the top of my dirtyjokes springing with the Jesus. Yeah,
I'm not ready yet. I justlove that too much. Yeah, So
obviously I have an understanding of youknow, when you give your life to
Jesus, you have to give yourlife to Jesus. It's not a half
hearted thing. You've got to reallysay no to yourself and the things that

(38:51):
you might want to do. ButI'm not maybe not ready to do that
yet. I think the fact thatLessons said even days ago you crafted a
multi step plan about getting your yoursnug on might be a little bit of
a marker in this situation. Maybehow does Jesus fit into the plant?

(39:15):
Is he between three and four?Was he the this three? Four?
Were you? Wait? That's thething. If if one, two and
three didn't work out, would youhave taken the four to be a nun
and got with Jesus? Maybe ina spiritual sense, not in a yeah.
Again, I'm not going to saythat. I'm not going to say

(39:36):
don't say it because you know,and I know, and your partner knows,
and everything knows where I go.So now we'll have a little think
back to those projects. Project onewas overnight skate. Project two was Rachel,
Yes, Rachel and the guys atHe'll High, Okay, pimping you

(39:57):
out soun eight March the fourth,nineteen ninety Okay, I went to church
this morning, and how to talkwith mister Bruce. I understand things more
clearly now. He wants me toget baptized. I'm thinking about it,
What was mister Bruce's first name?Go, sure we would be trusting a

(40:22):
person with two first names. Well, remember that we already know mister Bruce.
I know, I know, butlike you never trust a person with
first especially one that's Bruce. Hewas very it was Bruce. If it
was Bruce Bruce, I'd go outby him dinner, going how is your

(40:44):
life going? Being called Bruce Brucein Australia. He was definitely not Bruce
Bruce. Okay, I'm going outwith someone. Oh is it Kevin?
Kevin was Project three? I knowthat's but we never got to Project four.

(41:06):
So I'm just taking the information contextclues i've got, and I'm only
up to Kevin. Well, hisname is len Casey, Len Casey,
he is fourteen and in year nineat Hill High. So the analog tinder
worked. Yeah, don't know whathappened to Marcus. Maybe I got to

(41:30):
know him during that week and didn'tlike him, or maybe well, to
be fair, you had a fortyeight hour deadline on Project too true,
so maybe you got you got thecall up and he just missed out.
No, yeah, so len Heynot to bring the situation down, but

(41:52):
did you ever speak to Marcus afterthat? Yeah, I saw him at
school. Did he break up withhis girlfriend to get with you and then
you guys didn't hook up? OrI don't remember if he broke up with
his girlfriend, but we definitely didn'thook up. Is there a small part

(42:14):
in the back of your brain going, I wonder if he did break up
with his girlfriend to get with meand that never happened. So do you
know I don't think she went toour school. Yeah, but could you
imagine he's gone, I'm one ofthe thing here and he's rung up Sunday
morning to go Sorry, sweet,I got to break up. And then

(42:37):
come Monday, project pimping's gone outand you've gone, sorry mate, I've
met this other dude. So Ido, well, have you met this
other dude? Well, just brieflyon Marcus. I do remember one time
walking past, you know, oneof those demountable classrooms had like these wooden

(43:00):
steps at the front with a metalrailing, And I remember walking past and
he was standing next to that railing, like waiting to go into class,
and he was like doing these reallydisgusting long spits onto the railing and trying
to make the spit like split intotwo over the railing. Yes, that

(43:25):
might have been a bit of aturn off. He was good with his
mouth, he had spit control.No, maybe he missed a tricky I
hated slab. That used to callit slagging back then, not spitting,
it was slagging. I thought itwas gross. So I still do what

(43:46):
doesn't start with an F so itdoesn't come into your wheelhouse. Back to
Len. Have we have we physicallymet Len yet? Or is it just
the name? I don't think solet's see he's a virgin and proud of
it. That sounds familiar. Hey, I'm going to get to know him

(44:10):
a lot better during the next fewweeks. I really like him. I
can't wait to get to school andtell Hannah Lenn swears a lot, but
not when he's around me. Sothat seems to imply we have met Okay,

(44:31):
it's possible. Also red flag isthat he's a swear except around you.
Well, he knows I don't likeit. Okay, you don't like
it even though you researched the Dictionaryand Thesaurus how to insult a person.
Yeah, maybe Lenn had come skatingwith Rachel the day before or something,

(45:00):
okay, like so we could meetin person. I don't know, so
that would that have been on theSunday, Probably on the Saturday. So
that was a melding of Project oneand two kind of yeah, okay.
Now Monday, March the fifth,nineteen ninety, lenn is in Rachel's geography

(45:22):
class. She's passing messages to himfrom me. Okay, Jenny, but
he doesn't go to your school.No, he goes to Hill High So
how are you getting the messages tohim to her to pass to him?
Oh? Probably just verbal messages becauseI used to to Oh, hang on,

(45:45):
no actually dancing. Yeah, I'mjust stuck in the in the present
where you're like, so did youWere you messaging her for messages to send
to him, And it's like,no, that didn't just at the time
you've had to speak. It wouldeither be over the phone or I'd give
her notes at dancing and she wouldgo to school and give them to him.

(46:08):
Okay, so but a note hewould pass on a note to him
from you, not multiple notes.Yeah cool, Jenny, this is Jenny
Laundrigan at dancing was being a bitchall night. She's always bossing us around

(46:32):
me Megan and Rachel are doing thedisco and then we're dropping out or because
of Jenny. We've told her whereto go, but it's hard to tell
her in proper words because her mom'salways there. Proper words being the words
that you've got to say that youdon't like, because Lene's good not sweating.

(46:54):
I'm saying, fuck off, Jenny, you're a bitch and we hate
you. But the things that Lenndoesn't say around here, she don't like
her, they can't because she's aroundher mum. She's a bitch. That
makes it okay. I'm not speakingon her behalf, but it's just like,
hey, he's respectful of me.This other bitch fucker. Oh dear,

(47:25):
I'm going to Hannah's after school tomorrowand Wednesday, Okay. Tuesday,
March the sixth, nineteen ninety,went to Hannah's. We rang Len.
He wasn't home, but he rangme tonight at my place. He was
with his friends. He might becoming around Friday night. He told me

(47:50):
he loves me, but I'm notsure if he does, and I'm not
sure if I love him. Abit too soon again, too soon even
for me. Although it's an ageold question, is how do you express
the feelings between two young people?And is love the only word we have

(48:12):
to use? And probably because youcan't really go I want a three F
you or you know what I'm I'mcurrently a one and a half F.
Yeah, that's where we're at.So I'm giving him that modeling photo.
So this was just a photo thatDeborah Cole took of me for some kind

(48:36):
of photography thing she was doing.It wasn't the fact that I was modeling,
It's just that she needed a modelfor a photo. Do you have
a copy of that photo? Idon't, but it was in a swimsuit
and like on the side of herpool. Okay, right, I was

(48:57):
sitting down. I wasn't like standingup and posing. And if you're a
thirteen bestie, I'm pretty sure youweren't doing like the type of view she
was trying to do, a likecreative thing where like the light was reflecting
off the water onto me. Idon't know if that really worked, but

(49:20):
that was the vision that she had. I understand the concept she was going
for. It's a fairly common tropeand photography. So yeah, that was
that photo. I did my singingaudition yesterday. So this was auditioning for
the school musical. And it wasthe first time I had done a singing

(49:46):
audition because the year before I wasjust in the chorus. I hadn't actually
had to audition for that. Andthis is the first time You're really going
to break out to being the starof these musicals? Are you? Well?
Remember I can sing? I wasin Rory's band. I was the
lead singer. Never actually sang withhim. But it's like, here's my

(50:13):
chance to show everybody see I toldyou I could see. You're on the
CV though, lead singer of aband. It was embarrassing, but I
was pretty good. A lot ofpeople congratulated me. I hope I get
called back, Okay, So yeah, I knew that I was pretty good.

(50:35):
Nobody had actually ever heard me before. So when I actually got up
there and did it, a fewpeople were like, oh, of course
she wasn't just saying it. Shecan sing? How very high school musical.
Yes, Hannah's coming to my houseThursday after school. I'm not going

(50:57):
to her place tomorrow afternoon after all, because Shannon is she's having problems with
her mum. Shannon. That isso Hannah being a good friend, giving
Shannon a safe space a break Yep, Wednesday, March seven, nineteen ninety

(51:20):
Hannah's not allowed to come over.Now. She gave Rachel that stuff to
give to Len. Let me haveit. So maybe you gave it to
Hannah and then Hannah was going topass it on to her to give to
Yes, yeah, I wonder whereHannah was seeing Rachel though, But was

(51:45):
there a chance at you because youwere going to go and see Hannah and
yeah, anyway, No, Ijust can't remember Rachel knew each other.
Don't know well who was coming overto get the safe Shannon, Oh,
shan it. Okay, Lenn promisednot to show anybody my photo that's the

(52:08):
one in the swimming costume. Yeah, however, that's a smart choice on
his partners still thirteen. Yeah,however, everyone at Hill High has seen
my photo in Rachel's diary. Okay, Rachel was the one who's late.
Yeah, that was project two.So that's what was supposed to happen anyway.

(52:29):
But then in brackets, I sayembarrassment. I am being careful to
say any comment about thirteen year old, thirteen year old you in a swimsuit,
your photo being passed around to everything. Oh, the swimsuit one wasn't
being passed around. The one thatRachel had was one that she took when

(52:52):
I was at her house sometime completelyclothed. Okay, I wrote, I
love Len over everything in my pencilcase as you do. Can we can
we hypothesize that your love of stationary, which is strong and deep, comes

(53:17):
from the fact that when you becamemadly in love with a person, you
wrote that endlessly over everything, andyour frequency of turnover meant you had to
purchase stationary often to refresh you justyou know, wide it out right over

(53:37):
the top of it. But trustme, the way you go, there'll
sometimes where you're It's like your pencilcase became more wide out than pencil case.
He's more machine than man. Nowhe's more white out than pencil case.
Now. I stuck some animal postersup around my room. I cleaned

(53:59):
out my desk draw and my makeupdraw. Hannah and I practiced our history
speech. It is good Len's ringingme tomorrow. I think excellent. I
made some pajama pants like Hannah's.They're really cool. These were just a

(54:21):
pair of old track pants that she'dlike ripped in the front, like in
a really cool way. You knowhow you buy ripped jeans, pre ripped
jeans, pre ripped jeans. Yeah, I understand, purposely ripped tracky decks

(54:42):
freaking cooler, right, okay,you know how cool? Yeah, it
was even cooler back then you madebespoke, bespoke distressed track it out.
Len comes over Friday night because thenI can show them to him. Yeah,

(55:05):
I want to. I want toshow this fifteen year old boy the
rips in my TRACKI dacks that havebespoken and ready to go in the legs,
not in the bum, all right, yeah, okay like that,
Like okay, you've put holes inyour clothing and you you want to show
it to a boy. It's likethat's that's there's not a long stretch like
okay, the hallways a little long, but the door is open. Yes,

(55:30):
two baby budgies have hatched. Okay. Still with my birds, we
are dissecting a heart in science tomorrow. Excellent. Is this a like a
cow's heart or a sheep's heart orsomething. I think it was a sheep's
heart. Okay, I do knowwhat we did. I can't remember.

(55:57):
I don't know which one we did. Yeah, No, I think looking
back, it was probably too smallto beak our's hut. Pretty sure it's
a sheep, I know. Eventuallywe did an eye, and that was
definitely a cow eye. Yeah.The death was a pigger of land that
we did anyway, And following thetalk of dissecting a heart, I say,

(56:21):
I really like Len. You're dissectingyour pants. You're going to dissect
a heart, and you like LenA there's a metaphor there somewhere. Yes,
Thursday, March eighth, nineteen ninetyLen is definitely coming over tomorrow.

(56:42):
I might be sleeping at Rachel's.On Saturday. I had a big argument
with Mike. I'm not talking tohim. I don't know what that was
about. Fairly standard for brothers andsisters. Yeah, we didn't fight all
that off. We got on morethan we thought. I talked to Len

(57:07):
for about forty five minutes. Iput some more animal pictures up. I'm
buying some really cute stickers tomorrow.Natasha Taylor Scott hangs around us. Now.
She's much nicer because she used tobe a bitch, didn't she.
Yeah, you remember that. Debrahand I had been planning on letting her

(57:32):
keep hanging around with us till theend of grade eight. But grade nine
was going to be different apparently,Yeah, but maybe not. But maybe
she's changed, she's not annoying anymore, or you're running out of other people.
Yeah, maybe Friday March nine,nineteen ninety came around. He's cute,

(58:01):
but so boring and such a showoff. I think I made a
big mistake. I'll just see ifthings improve. If not, I'll break
it off. But I'll have tohave somebody lined up to take his place.

(58:22):
So all the things I say,and I have to stop myself going
now, don't go too hard orbecause it's going to come off the wrong
way. You're like, yeah,no, I've got to have my backup
d in case. So yeah,at least you're aware. Yes, I
am aware. I think it sayshe's cute, so maybe I've sort of

(58:46):
decided to go out with him basedon looks alone, and now I'm getting
to know him and just not reallya fan of the real linb Well,
is there a patterns forming here whereyou like guys because it's like ah,
and then you're like, oh,wow, they don't match their person there

(59:06):
It looks their personalities don't match.Yes, I think so. Natasha Taylor
Scott is one of my best brandsnow and Debra doesn't like it. So
you were gonna say no more.And now she's moved into top position.
Not quite, I say, oneof my best friends. Yeah, but

(59:31):
when you when you resolved to ostracizethem last year and this year they've they've
moved into tier one grouping, youcan understand while the other ones are like,
hang on, it's a yeah,a bit of a turnaround, and
you still haven't We still haven't workedout why she's returned to the top spots.

(59:54):
I am staying at Rachel's tomorrow night. See ya. Would this be
a post skating thing? Yeah?Probably. We would have gone skating in
the afternoon and then too her house. Saturday, March ten, nineteen ninety

(01:00:15):
I gave Lynn the flick, andI'm glad I did because he reckoned he
was going out with another girl anyway, okay, but his friend told Rachel
that that wasn't true. So isthis what he's so? Did you break

(01:00:36):
it off with him because he wasdoubting someone else or when you broke it
off with him, he's gone Ohthat's right. Yeah, he had he
did what you did, ye,which was have a backup or he could
just be saying it to save face. Oh yeah, yeah, okay,
under resent, But like you,you were planning. You were planning the

(01:00:57):
exit strategy in the backup plan,so you never know anyway. Now,
I like Paul Lancefield a real lot. Remember old mate turning character. Oh
god, okay, all right.I told him that I wanted to go
out with him, and he saidto give it a big think. And

(01:01:20):
he's calling me tomorrow. He's havinga big think or you're having told me
because I've liked him a few timesin the past, and then the one
time he did like me, Ididn't like him. Okay, I think
we're going to give some points toPaul for that's a very how old is
Paul He at this stage he's probablyabout seventeen, still a little old,

(01:01:51):
but that's a very mature seventeen yearold response is okay, think about it.
He just didn't go for the threeF Stralia. I don't know if
I should or not. He's sobeautiful on the outside and the inside.
He had a shave and his skinwas really smooth. He was Italian,

(01:02:16):
so you could tell when he hada shave, because his facial hair was
very noticeable. Otherwise I ran myfingers over it, and he gave me
the most beautiful smile. Then Itold him he had beautiful eyes, and
I ran my fingers from the cornerof his eye to his jaw. He

(01:02:37):
just looked at me. Funny,what should I do? Do we have
a counter like? So this yearit's this number of guys days since last
accidental day, since last love affair, because it would it would be an
interesting exercise at the end of thisyear of diaries, counting up how many

(01:03:02):
days you didn't have someone I liked? Interesting? Do you know? It
would be an interesting exercise. Ithink in some of the not this particular
diary, well, maybe it is. I have to dig it out again,
because I have a feeling that inat least some of them there was

(01:03:24):
a bit of a record of whoI liked on what days. So I
might have a look and see whatI can find. And it would be
an interesting exercise to see how muchspace and grace you gave yourself. Yeah,

(01:03:45):
did not have any days when thatwire blank? That was just for
you? Yes, and not tosuper psychoanalyze or dig, dig, scratch
past the surface. But are weexposing that this is particular. Maybe a
bit of the issue is that thecompulsion you had at that age, which
is a perfectly natural compulsion to neverbe not looking for in a relationship,

(01:04:14):
is you never gave yourself that graceto sort of go. It wasn't a
case of what do I want,It's what I've I got to take because
I can't not have one. It'sgot to be someone you let you're into,
because you're going back to Paul andlook, honestly, Paul's such a
great guy and he's beautiful and lovelyand everything like that. But three days

(01:04:36):
ago it was his other dude you'dspent like two weeks with. If Paul
was such a great guy, thenyeah, because well since the start of
the year, there's been Nigel,Billy, Trevor, Marcus when and now

(01:05:00):
Paul and it's March. It's justmy yeah, okay, yeah, I'm
going to say to thirteen year oldyou, and now you you allow yourself
that grace, give yourself a bitof time and a bit of space.
You're loved by a lot of people, and you don't need to be like

(01:05:26):
that exactly. Monday, March twelve, nineteen ninety I didn't get into the
first lot of singing callbacks. Boomdancing was excellent. We divided into two
groups to make up different routines,Me, Megan and Rachel versus Naomi,

(01:05:50):
Jenny, Kim and Debbie. Wegot our routine sorted out. They didn't,
probably because Jenny was too busy bossingthem around. And is this before
the disco or after this girl?The routines were probably four hed on a

(01:06:12):
sec. Let me think if Iremember right. We divided into groups.
We each made up routine to asong, like two different songs, and
then we had to teach the otherhalf the routine. Yeah, okay,
Rachel, the Hoopers and Corey Smithare staying over Saturday night. Whose that's

(01:06:39):
a full house? Yeah? TheHoopers were my dad's cousin and some of
those little, annoying little kids frommy room that time. Yeah, or
just normal kids? Yeah, yes, exactly, But now I've got to
find out who's Corey Smith. Ohokay, so Cory Smith is Kelly Reeves's

(01:07:06):
little brother. They had different dads, so that's why the different surnames okay,
understand yep, And I finish offthis entry by saying, Johnny Young
is old. I appreciate the wordplay, but yes, he was old in

(01:07:30):
capital letters too. How old?Oh? Look, yeah, what are
you saying? I was like,it's a good punt. It's a very
good point. Johnny Young is old. But how old was Johnny Young in
nineteen ninety That's what I'm going tolook at. I'm still old. Well,

(01:07:53):
he was born in nineteen forty seven, So nineteen ninety take nineteen,
he was only forty three, andI'm calling him old. Yeah, but
also too, let's examine the previousmonth and your age and everything like that.

(01:08:15):
Is that you were thirteen and datinga nineteen year old dude and had
no issue with the age there,But a dude who was forty three hanging
around with sixteen seventeen year olds wasrepulsive and you were calling a mold.
So maybe the problem is not withthe age of Johnny Young, but how

(01:08:35):
you perceive age in context, poorJohnny. For our non Australian listeners and
anybody younger than a certain age,there used to be a television show called
Young Talent Time where young people whohad Talent would have time and time when

(01:09:01):
they would sing and stuff, andthat's where Tina Arena and Danny Minogue both
started out. Yes, before that. Well, here's the question. Did
Danny Minogue start after Kylie became athing or was Danny there first and then

(01:09:24):
Kylie became a thing. I thinkit was around the same time that Kylie
was on The Henderson Kids, Okay, but definitely pre neighbors. Okay.
So so Danny didn't get her rolebecause of her sister, I don't think
so. Okay, So that's that. It would have been a little bit

(01:09:47):
like Kids Incorporated. But they werebeing themselves. They weren't being different characters
like a bride show. I'm justtrying to find what the US equivalent of
it was. It was, there'sa show there that's star Search. That's

(01:10:11):
what It was a similar type ofthing to Star Search, But Talent Time
had the same Mickey Mouse So Mickey'sMickey Mouse's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse mixed with starships.
Yeah, that's what I like it. So, yeah, Young in
Living Color or something. I don'tknow, there's there's too many. I

(01:10:33):
loved Joe Pironi on Young Talent Time. I thought it was spunk and if
anyone's looking for a laugh. OnTriple J, they had Song in an
Hour yep and the Tripodata version ofBevan Musical and they think they did Bevan

(01:10:56):
Part two as well. It wasthe best Bevan's cool. Bevin with the
lemon yellow slacks anytimes, like,yeah, there's a there's certain certain things
I collect and the yellow one,it is very lemon yellow. I've seen
I've seen one with a pair oflegs in that color. I'm like,
do I make a do I makea Bevin version of that? Because they've

(01:11:19):
got the blonde mullet and they've gotthe head. Yeah, I could make
Bevin with the lemon yellow slacks.Oh Bevn. He made Bevn cool kind
of Bevan was cool? He washe was yeah, yeah, wow right

(01:11:40):
yeah. Shuesday March thirteen, nineteenninety I got a callback audition today.
So is this first round or isthis second round? Ye? Okay.
I didn't get into the first lot, but I got into the second lot.
It wasn't as embarrassing as last time. We don't have aerobics tomorrow because

(01:12:06):
the hall is being used for SeniorBadge presentation. Okay, not much to
say. I hate Len, Ilove Paul. So we've got a declaration
of love for Paul. Yes,don't know what I'm doing see Len again?

(01:12:29):
H I think so okay, Idon't know what I did with all
the stuff on my pencil case.That's what I'm saying. I'm I'm forensically
tying your love of constantly buying stationerywith your thirteen year old graffiti style.

(01:12:54):
Maybe that's where it all began.Do they now invent a erasable pencil case
thing where you can do there likea little so you know how they've got
there? My Hi, my nameis You could be like HI today,
I love Love. There's a marketin that, although the people who sort

(01:13:17):
of get the same sticker and putthe sticker over the top of the old
sticker, except your pencil case wouldbe thick and then the I Love sticker
would be like half a meter long. You have to carry hernd he is
it as a handle pretty much.Wednesday, March fourteen, nineteen ninety Okay,
so we're two weeks into March.Natasha Taylor Scott reckons I can't sink

(01:13:42):
and she goes to Deborah. Shewon't get another callback, I don't want
to be around when her name isn'ton the list. But so, yeah,
sucked in Natasha because guess what,I got called back again, and
it's how she didn't. So Ithought Natasha was the flavor of the month,

(01:14:08):
not anymore, obviously not she reckonslike sing. It would have been
because she was in like a outof school choral group. Oh yeah,
yeah, So she probably just thoughtI'm better than her because I'm in a

(01:14:30):
group and she's not, and onlybecause my memory from day to day is
sometimes not great. Did she exactlysay you can't sing? Or was there
missing context that your diary doesn't containthat she probably I would have just known
what she told Deborah, so shewouldn't have said it to my face.

(01:14:53):
She would have said it to Deborahlike bestie can't sing, She's not going
to get another call back. Iknow, my biggest fault is I always
try and think the best of people. But I also know, and being
involved with certain organizations, that whatgets said versus what was actually said a

(01:15:15):
two separate things. Original sources arealways good, they are, But you
know, Natasha's got a bit ofa history of being annoying, so I
don't know. But then again,she was in the she was in top
tier group for a little bit there, So for five seconds we don't know.

(01:15:40):
She might still be there. We'llhave to see Tammy shilling poured glue
down Annie Greenway's back and in herhair. That's a bit of a sidestep
twist, harshness. It is Tammy, Annette and Shelley sucks shit. Me

(01:16:03):
and Annie are friends now, andwhen Tammy says something, we answer back
with an even smarter answer. Butso houn, all right, that was
a whirlwind. So the person suckingshit got glue down their back. No,
no, no, the person whodid it. So Tammy and her

(01:16:28):
friends Annette and Shelley sucks shit,as in, they're idiots and I don't
like them. They suck okay becauseof what they did. Yeah, So
Annie had just come to the schoollike this year. She was really new
and she had had to leave adifferent town and all of her friends,

(01:16:49):
and she was having a really hardtime fitting in because she really didn't want
to be there. She wanted toyou know, yeah, but she was
in one of my class and Ibefriended her. But yeah, these other
girls, it decided to be reallycruel, not cool at all, all

(01:17:11):
right, And that is the endof that entry and the end of this
episode. It's been for those tryingto draw draw flow charts at home,
it's it's been a big one.It has. Something just occurred to me.

(01:17:31):
Yes, I'm like, Tammy sucksship because she pulled glue down Annie's
back end in her hair. Whatdid I do with a pauper recently?
I don't know. What did youdo with poper? Remember I squirt popper
all over some guys duffel coat andin his hair. But wasn't that justified

(01:18:00):
in some way? I just didit and then I started to kick me
on that guy's back. But knowingyou, it could have been a declaration
of love. No, definitely notknowing these guys, hell, I know,
but like you have to sort ofsecond guess. Like everyone, depending

(01:18:27):
on which way the wind blows,you fall in love with people or don't.
So they were definitely on the don'tside. No, honestly, definitely
not absolutely, no inkling of aninterest. I was just mad them.
I would say pop a verse glueintent, not great severity, totally different.

(01:18:51):
I'm trying to think what type ofglue. It would have been it
might have been you know, youget those like tubes of c yeh glue
and like pots of clag or somethingtip and it was kind of runny,
and if you unscrewed the top anddidn't let it go through the spongy tip,

(01:19:12):
you could like pour it out prettyeasy. I had to find a
picture. I don't think I've everseen that one find a picture it pots
of clag or nothing, or wedidn't have hard stick glue then, and
pots of clag were too big toput in your pencil case. So we
had these. We had Pentel rollerglue, which was a liquid glue in

(01:19:35):
a little roll, and then therewere these like long tubes that had a
cap on the top that had alittle sponge in the end of the cap.
Okay, it was like a liquidinterest. So I'll see if I
can find a picture that's been gluetalk for this. Maybe we can go

(01:19:56):
down to Bunnings and ask can't aboutthe glue. Very good idea, Ken
ignore everything else. We said,we're here for the glue, here for
the glue. Need you help?Sorry about your previous trauma and you and
being left alone and everything like that. Worry about your pool not coming to
your pool. It would be Imaintain it would be the greatest thing in

(01:20:19):
the world if Kent works at Bunningsin the pool section and just wanders those
two those two aisles every day thinkingto what could have been if she'd only
come over to my pool. Idon't think we should feel sorry for him,
because remember I referred to him asa root rat a couple of weeks

(01:20:40):
back, so he must be gettingsome oh absolutely, But you're the type
of person that could break a person'ssoul and hearts so much that they just
turned to the root rat lifestyle becausethey can't deal with the everyday pain of
missing out on the pool party withyou all downhill from there. And in

(01:21:02):
fairness to Kent, you had thehots for a nineteen year old and you
were you were plotting driving around withhim and having sex with him and iting
like that, and Ken say Ijust wanted to pull arty ended having sex
with him. In your diary youwrote the thing about the about it about

(01:21:24):
what not the f thing thing notthe thing, they're a thing. Yeah,
but wasn't there a reference to sleepingwith him or something? No,
just it would be nice to wakeup with him. But that didn't necessarily
mean poking him, just you know, having a I apologize I turned that
into it was having a caddle likeliteral, yes, not a special cut.

(01:21:45):
Yeah, but you wanted to wakeup in the same bed as a
nineteen year old dude at thirteen verytastily. Yeah, okay, snuggles.
You added two f's, that's allI'm saying. You added finger ring and
fertilizing to these conversation. Bad boysdo not good girls like me. But

(01:22:05):
I thought fingering was a good thing. It depends if they get to dump
you afterwards. Well, hopefully,hopefully, hopefully the fifth F becomes the
fourth F, so you don't getan F. We don't want the fertilizing,
thank you very much. No,let's leave the head off. Let's

(01:22:28):
go for the fore F, thefour s, okay or the four s
hopefully not fifth F. How aboutwe just make it the two fs,
find and french kiss and then we'llleave it at that. That's very piece
it is, and that's the andthat's the question for next time. Having

(01:22:51):
passions with people at the skating rink. Technique and type is something you need
to fill us in because having asnug with someone, what was the what
was the level of the thing?Was there outside pant touching, what's the
whole? Well, yeah, wecan definitely discuss that. As time goes
on, there will be a lotmore opportunities to discuss that when I talk

(01:23:15):
about other people I have snogged.And now that I said it out loud,
maybe we reserve it till we reacha slightly more not thirteen year old
age to talk about your snogging technique. Yeah, well, there's actually not
going to be any more snogging fora little while, so that's all right.

(01:23:39):
Okay, so that makes me feela little a little bit older.
Next time I actually do a bitof a spoiler. But there's a lot
of other stuff. Okay, okay, but can I ask Can I ask
a spoiler question about that? Imay not to it, but you can

(01:24:00):
ask it the next time you do. Is it more than just snogging or
is it just is it a returnto snogging or is it an advancement of
snogging? It's a return to snogging. Hang on, I'm just trying to
remember. It's a very long timeago. You know, there was an

(01:24:26):
attempted advancement, but it was okay, slapped down by me. Okay,
I'll take that. Because you know, as we've learned over the past hour
or so, is that you jumpfrom things like bang bang bang, and
then sometimes you go from zero toa thousand an hour and you never know

(01:24:47):
it. Oh, we get tothat later. I'm like, okay,
how far do we get? Allright? Well, thank you, bestie,
You're welcome. It has been anemotional right for me, rather exhausted
a lot because lots of micro heartbreak, lots of going through and honestly,

(01:25:08):
it's your other friends that throw mebecause I'm like, okay, who's this
person? And then bang, lookat these other three people and that person
over there and like, okay,back to that person. So yeah,
but there's you know, you've probablynoticed the same names coming up again and
again, like Deborah, I am. I am learning those characters' names.
Yes, and now Rachel. SoI've kind of got my school friend and

(01:25:30):
my skating friend, and honestly theother person I only knew through because it's
three names. I learned the monicrhythm rather than actually who the name is.
Yeah, that's that three named person. Okay, cool, that helps.
I should have kept up with drawingmy flow shot. I really it

(01:25:51):
would have gone through so much paperby now. Though I don't have a
desk big enough, I'd have toswitch online. You know what, It's
probably probably easier and cheaper to buyan ancestry dot com subscription and try and
build the family tree that maybe youcan make an Excel spreadsheet. Don't die

(01:26:14):
because you know I will. CanI tell you that the spreadsheet that I
have made that has all like thenames and that in it that I want
to keep track of. It's gotlike where are eight one, two three,
four five six, semony eleven thirteenfourteen one to two four five?

(01:26:41):
It's fourteen sheets, okay, rangein size from just having another look,
say, the shortest one is abouttwenty five rows long, and wow,
the young the longest one is aboutseventy five rows long. So that's a

(01:27:06):
lot of names. Interesting. Ohwe could do something with that, definitely,
But there's it's a lot. Ican process a fair chunk of data,
as you I was speaking to youbefore. I've got a fair amount
of data to process this weekend,and I'm not too bad at the old
excels. I should do. Yeah, I should send you this or like

(01:27:30):
send you the link in dropbox orwhatever and you can have a look for
yourself. We could do one ofthose like basketball bracket things where you've got
like this person, it all comesto the grand final at the start.
Maybe when we get to the endof like the high school years parts of

(01:27:50):
my diaries, we can do oneof those with like the boys that have
made the biggest appearance, and wecould do a Battle of the boyfriend's bracket.
Yeah, everyone gets to vote withevery week we go okay, who
was better this character or this character, And we get to a grand final

(01:28:11):
two at the end, and thenit's Kent at Bunnings and we bring him
a trophy and he's like, what'sthis. I'm like, don't ask which
was the best of Bestie's boyfriends?Which does she like the best? To
think she should have ended up withthe best his boyfriend's bracket triple B triple
B for triple F. That couldbe fun, But we've got a lot

(01:28:33):
to get through before we have enoughof that. For the sounds of it,
yes, even inside one episode,we've got a lot to get to.
But worth it, well, I'mgoing to go away and try and
get this all sorted in my headand work out what the narrative is.
I'm just going to go away telleveryone about our Instagram where they can come

(01:28:54):
and try and learn about this matteris art Diary of my Bestie, where
you can get little sneak peaks ofupcoming episodes where you discuss topics that come
up. And I want to givea little shout out to a couple of
people from Instagram. Let's punch bears. Great name, doesn't actually punch bears.

(01:29:21):
They they're putting a proposition. They'renot a declaration. Let us bears.
Yeah, it's come friends, letus punch a bear. Not like
I've punched bears. Let's get todo some more. And also Nettie mcferty,
Yes, I like that too.Awesome supporters reminds me of sprinkles on

(01:29:43):
cupcakes. It does nice. It'sa brand. It's a brand of of
cupcake sprinkles you would buy and itwould be in one of those little pop
one of those little tubes like theEminem's come in when you pop it up
and he goes it's got the andthen spreading on and put it back.
I just need to just need toput a little bit of that on the

(01:30:05):
top of my cakes. She isvery sweet, so you say that really
suits her here. So if youever want to start a Sprinkles brand,
all right, let's we could havea tie in with the with the pod.
We could do the official podcasts ofthe sprinkle You better patent that name

(01:30:25):
smart before someone pinches it. Yes, ip astray dot gov dot au trademarket
Now. I only said that becauseI had to do something with it yesterday.
It's a nerd. Hey, youknow what I do. Of course.
Oh, it takes one nerd tono one, it does very much.

(01:30:47):
All right, all right, wellwe're going to go away and process
this all and will we be backand uh crack open? Actually is are
we still in these two diaries?The one and the two? The are
we staying this for a while?We're still in the countdown diary at the
moment, but we will be backinto the normal diary very soon into the

(01:31:13):
long prose. Cool awesome? Allright, Well, thank you, bestie.
I hope you have a good night. And yeah, I love you
lots. I love you. Seeyayye