I Love Nick

Bestie loves Nick.

Does Nick love Bestie?

Find out in this episode.

And remember, if you think you know us - no, you don't!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
I've known my bestI for fifteen yearsnow, but what was she like before
I met her? Welcome to Diaryof my Bestie, where she reads to
me her childhood diaries. All namesand identifying places have been changed to protect
the innocent and the guilty. We'realso staying anonymous, so if you know
who else, So if you thinkyou know us, no you don't.
Welcome back to Diary of My Bestie. Hello Besty, Hello Besty. We

(00:25):
left on a bit of a cliffhangerwith some young Nick making advances or potentially
making advances, or potentially not makingadvances, and we're about to get into
the Saturday skate to find out whereit's all happening. And I'm very excited
to figure out where this goes.Then I shall not delay. I will

(00:45):
get straight into it. Saturday,October twenty first, nineteen eighty nine.
Dear Diary, You'll never believe it, but Nick is ground from skating this
weekend. I'm more disappointed for Nickthan Nick is, So tomorrow me and

(01:11):
Meghan Harrison are going to ring himup and ask him if he's allowed to
come for a bike ride, orI'll ask him if he'll go with me.
And when you say bike rides,you mean the vanilla version of bike
ride actually getting on bicycles going fora ride. There was two of you.

(01:33):
It's a bike like you and afriend were calling him to say,
hey, you want to go ona bike ride. Oh, but Megan
was going to be there too.Yeah, that's It's exactly. The point
I'm making is like he's he's partof this route cabal or whatever it is.
Basically you never know you could goa two for one deal. Does
he get extra prizes? Okay,I'm I'm personally just devastated and defended.

(01:59):
I got his phone number and addressfrom David Irbaker. So, David skating
boy, as I think I've mentionedhim. A logistical question just to ground
everything in reality a bit. Sure, Say you're the nucleus. Well,

(02:24):
let's say skating is the nucleus ofthe of the map. What's the radius
of all these people? Like isit like, is it possible to walk
between your house and their house?Or is it a sort of a wide
spread out suburb type of thing.Ah, so everybody kind of lives all

(02:46):
over the place. So I livein walking distance to the ring a Nick
it probably would have been maybe ahalf hour walk from skating to his place,
but a shorter bike ride. Okay, So you would have ridden from

(03:06):
your place past the skating rink tohis place or about that, or probably
would have met halfway. Yeah,okay, found a midpoint, met in
a park or something. Yeah,just because at the same time as being
a big city, it sounds likea very very small, insular city.

(03:27):
Yeah it is. Nick lived nearthe school, okay, all right,
and so did a lot of theseother people. Okay, so you'rely that
being the nearest high school, youwere out a little bit from that,
you were sort of separated from theschool cluster, more closer to the skate
cluster. Okay. Yeah, becausewhen we first moved to Thornley, we

(03:52):
lived near the school when we wererenting. That's where Mike started going to
high school. And then we movedfurther out, but obviously Mike kept going
to school there, and so that'swhere I went to school too. Okay,
all right, cool. Yeah,bowling was fun. That's bowling with
my parents and their friends you mentionedlast episode. Yeah, I won a

(04:15):
packet of chips. Nice. Nice? Does it say how or is it
just a no? Do you thinkyou actually won the packet of chips or
was it like you've won chips?I would have because it was they had
I think they called it moonlight bowling. Ah okay, so this is a
Saturday night. Yeah, okay,understand. Yeah. Yeah, so they

(04:39):
turned the lights off and they hadsome like glow in the dark stuff and
little bad competitions were probably black lightstuff. So yeah, yes, yeah,
that's it. Yeah, okay,so that was fun. Never say
no to a packet of chips.No, definitely not. I don't have
much more to I finished my historyassignment and now I've got to do my

(05:04):
film review, music assignment, readingassignment, and English speech in that order.
Was this all due on the MondayTuesday? Or is this you getting
ahead for the weekend. Probably abit of both. Okay, Yeah,
I was pretty conscientious with my schoolwork. All right, I'm going now,

(05:30):
so by dearest most wonderful diary.I love Nick, even though he's
granded. Yes, so you wouldhave written this when you got back from
Bold, Yes, okay, saySaturday evening. So did you used to
stay up late journaling or was itjust a something you finish the day?

(05:53):
Sometimes? Usually ark on the weekends, so I'd usually stay up a little
bit later, but otherwise I tendedto right when, like just before I
went to bed or after dinner.Yeah, so last thing you do type
of journally. Yeah, and youseem to write a lot of it early
in the morning as well, soit'd be the wake up in journal and

(06:15):
then just before the bed general.Okay, cool, yeah. Yeah.
Sunday, October twenty second, nineteeneighty nine, Dear Diary, Megan and
I rang Nick, but he wasn'tat home, so we went skating and

(06:35):
he wasn't there either. Okay,Paul came with us. He still wants
to go with me. I know. I can't stop him from liking me,
though at least he doesn't try toshow off like Kent used to and
still does sometimes. Paul Kent stillthe hero of this situation. He shot.

(07:03):
He shot. He's like, I'mgoing to make her like me and
she's not even going to know aboutit, and come swimming my pool just
you and me. I mean,okay, so poor Kent. Justice for
Kent's dag. I just can't waitfor school these days. Roseanne reckons that

(07:27):
she's going with Nick, but DavidRbacka and Amanda and all them said that
would be bull because he does notlike her. Okay, So just to
catch me up because my brain hasfaded in the in the So, was
Nick and Roseanne ever going out?Or Nick liked Roseanne? Or is this
just as a suspicion that was happening. I don't think they went out,

(07:53):
Okay. I think they kind ofhad the hots for each other. Okay,
yeah, but then Nick found outthat I liked him, and yeah,
slash joined the yeah request Okay,yep. Yeah. So Rosanne doesn't
go to our school, okay,so this could have been Nick's girlfriend in

(08:16):
Canada type of thing as well.Or did you she went skating? Okay,
she's a skating okay out. Yeah, so you know she wouldn't have
seen all this stuff happening between Nickand I at school? Okay, all
right, during the week, sookay, all right. Yeah, Amanda

(08:37):
might have a job as a receptionistat a hotel, and if she does,
she'll be leaving school. I'll waituntil tomorrow to find out. So
is this basically once you get ajob, you gone type of situation?
Well, she was fifteen and ingrade ten and Okay, yeah, okay,
I think at that point you eitherhad to have a job or finished

(09:01):
grade ten. Yeah, by law, I don't know, something like that.
Yeah, but she Yeah, shereally wanted to leave school, but
needed to have a job first formight have just been a parent's rule,
I don't know. Yeah, shewanted out. I love Nick. Okay.

(09:28):
Was that a sign off or wasthat a it's a sign off?
I think that's taken over from loveMe or whatever it was I was writing
previously. I'm still an instant bystandingvictim of the listing. Just name after
name after name after name, justchecking you're not throwing in a random thing

(09:50):
just as punctuation. I mean,you did write cherished by Madonna for no
reason in the middle of last one. So yeah, that's pretty random.
Yeah, Okay. Monday, Octobertwenty three, nineteen eighty nine. So
do we have any resolulution on Nick. No, it just nothing happened on
the s. No, he wasn'tat home, so I couldn't talk to

(10:11):
him and ask him to go fora bike ride. Yep, okay,
yep. So yeah, Monday todayhad to be one of the best days
of my life. Okay, Imean the last time you said that you
broke up with someone. So I'mnot getting my hopes too much up.
So I went past Nick this morningand he goes, hello, Ah,

(10:39):
the subtle arts of flirting when youwere fourteen or fifteen, okay, all
right. And I was talking toAmanda and she said that Nick had asked
for my phone number. Okay,okay, And she asked him if he
was going to ask me out,and he he said, yeah, probably.

(11:03):
Oh come on, Nick, givea little bit of a definitive answer,
but okay, all right, progress, let's go progress. And I
was talking to David Erbacker and hesaid Nick would probably ask me out by
Wednesday, if not before, okay, and that if he doesn't do it

(11:26):
then then he will at skating onSaturday. See that annoys me because it's
like he's going to do something bythis date. If not, he'll do
it later. Well, then youdon't know when he's going to ask you
out. Don't speak with such confidencesay he's likely to ask you out in
a little bit. Yeah, i'llpay you money by Wednesday, if not

(11:48):
earlier, but if I don't,i'll pay you Saturday. So you're paying
me by Saturday. Yeah, okay, all right, right, yeap,
but there was a bad part.Okay, Brett dropped Jasmine. Okay,
maybe it's just I'm too caught upin you and Nick. But why do

(12:09):
we care about Brett and Jasmine?Well, Jasmine was my friend and you
were upset for her, not necessarily, Yeah, Okay, he said he
just wanted to be single. BullBrett, you told me you were never
going to drop her. Okay,does Brett duce caz Noka just school?

(12:35):
Yep? And he's friends with Nick. Yeah, they're in the same grade.
Okay, Yeah, Struth, shewas so upset. She still loves
him, but he only likes heras a friend. Okay, all right,
okay, so yeah, big breakup. They've been going out I think

(13:01):
probably about two or three months,just not a half a week type of
thing. No, so that wasa pretty big deal at the time.
Yeah. I left Mum all thesenotes around her ashtray, lighter and cigarette
pack about how bad smoking is,et cetera. And I even wrote on

(13:24):
all her packs and her lighter inNicico. I hope she quits. I
told her straight out in one ofthe notes. So passive aggressive you invented
the warnings on cigarette packets before theycare out before that's some hard passive aggressiveness.

(13:48):
Yeah. I actually remember hearing mymum go into the kitchen because these
are all on the kitchen bench andfinding that, and then I could hear
her screwing up the little notes andsighing, like, how dare I care
about her health? I always haveto. I don't know why, but

(14:13):
I think there's also the feeling oflike knowing your brother as I do,
being a mother to your brother andbeing a mother to you and everything like
that. She's like, the onebloody thing I get to do every day
is just have a dart and calmdown, and now I can't even do
that. It was it was herbecause I know their bloody kill me.

(14:39):
But if I don't take them,I'm going to kill these people. She
could be stewing on that for allthese years, and she goes, yeah,
I thought you were a little biband you screwed up my day.
Do you know how? Like Ihave to take you to skating and deal
with all these relationships, and allI wanted is to have a dart.
That's all I want. It's allI wanted. I hope she quits.

(15:03):
Oh I already said that. Didshe quit? Though? No, she
still does it. She still smokes, but as soon as she became a
grandmother, she stopped smoking in herown house. Next time you go over
to her house, take a Nicowith you and ride on the stone and

(15:26):
say, like, Mum, Iasked you so many years ago and you
still haven't done it. Come on, she has cut down a lot.
Okay, she probably only has maybethree or four cigarettes today. It's all
right. We love mama Bestie,and we wanted to be around for a
long time, so that's good.Remember meeting her for the first time and

(15:48):
she didn't come up past my elbow, but she towered over me for some
some strange things like it's like hi, hi, missus bestie. Hello.
Yeah that is she's she's small,but she's kind of domineering. Isn't the
word? I mean? If youwant to see a twenty nine year old

(16:08):
man, go hello, missus,besty, how are you? It's okay,
she's a big little lady. Yes, very exceptionally exceptionally good thing.
But yeah, yeah, all right. Cleo spewed on my bed this afternoon
again this cat seriously again, Yeah, sick maybe, or maybe it was

(16:33):
more moths again, which is whywe can't have moss. We have Sarah
Lee. Yeah, she's got amoth habit. Maybe if she's sick again,
she's she's a moth. Okay,all right, shirt idea kicking around

(16:57):
in my head, moth smoking mothpipe. Okay, sorry, cat threw
off on you. If she's sickagain by the end of the week,
I'm taking her to doctor Rob Okay, Okay, how is how is the

(17:22):
budgy at this stage? Do weknow? I was just going to say
that I don't know because I haven'tmentioned it. Do you still have the
budget or was that like, don'tmention the budget because it's no longer with
its Well, that would probably bethe world's oldest budge if I still had
it. No, I mean atthe time you're did, I wasn't.

(17:45):
I don't know. I wasn't.I wasn't expecting a budge with a little
walking walk around going. I justwant a cigarettes that was shut in the
chest thirty years ago. I don'tknow because I haven't mentioned it. I
don't recall this one dying, soI mean it was standing in a bath

(18:06):
height you'd remember, Yeah, gottago now, Bible study time. I
love Nick. PS Natasha Taylor Scottgot braces the other day. Okay,
was this just part of your journaling? Is noting down not even important bits

(18:33):
of information, but just bits ofinformation, just a journal maybe considering my
dislike for her, it was adig like her. It was like as
opposed to Yeah, I'm going toguess I was being mean anyway. It's

(18:55):
a little bit funny considering I havebraces right now. But it was a
different age. It was Tuesday,October twenty fourth, nineteen eighty nine.
Dear diary Cleio was sick again andshe's got diarye. So I took her

(19:15):
to doctor Rob's and found out she'sgot gastronritis. Okay, all right,
yeah, guess what. Amanda wastalking to Nick before school and she said,
when are you going to ask bestieout? And he said definitely tomorrow

(19:38):
or Saturday. Earlier, I spoketo the other guy, and can I
just just highlight a little bit ofcontext of here, is that the sum
total of your conversation with Nick overthe past week is like, Hi,
Hi, and all these other peopleare having in depth investigations into your relationship

(20:00):
status, like she's probably said seventimes the amount of words to Nick.
Then was she was she friends withNick? I would say, is there
is there an established a discord betweenthe two or is it? She's like,
when are you going to ask herout? Uh? It? Well,
she would have known him from skatingand she was in the grade above

(20:23):
him at school. But she wasthe kind of person who just liked to
insert herself into other people's ah,so filterless person. Yeah, okay,
that came in handy when you knowdefinitely. I'm just like, I'm like,
the most you've said to Nick ishi, because you even tried to

(20:44):
call him and he didn't answer thephone. It wasn't there. And she's
like, okay, well let's havea chat like camp counselor turn the chair
around right now, So what's happeningwith this? So mm hmm exactly.
And that's the way it went prettymuch at that time. You just your
friends or whoever to do all thedirty work and be the go between.
And you had a conversation with hisfriend who had a conversation about you with

(21:07):
him, so that okay, it'sjust yeah right, yep, okay,
So he said definitely tomorrow and thenI've written, ah, and this is
Tuesday that you're writing the centric okay, so old MAT's been pretty much on
the button with Wednesday or Saturday.Yeah, okay, okay. And I've

(21:30):
written a scream in there, andthen said, actually I did scream when
I found out. Ah, okay, he probably would have been more like
her. Ah, yes, okay, yes, excited thing. See now,
I'm emotionally invested in this, andif it doesn't work out, I'm
gonna be upset. My heart's beenbroken a couple of times in this story.

(21:55):
Well, I said hello to himfifty million times to minus forty nine
million, nine hundred and ninety nine, nine hundred and ninety three, so
seven times, yep. And onetime he was leaning on the rail at
E block and he went to stepover it and he got one leg over

(22:18):
and slipped. Okay, all right, yep. I would have said I'll
kiss it better. But you know, I'm all talk and no action.
Okay, all right, Well,according to some people, you're nothing but
okay, all action and no talk. Okay, Well, which is the

(22:45):
truth. My rags are due soon. Shit, And then in brackets,
whoops, I guess I'm trying notto swear. So didn't ask you out
on this Wednesday? Oh it's stillTuesday. This is still Tuesday. Again,
this is still Tuesday. Yeah.And I don't know everybody used this

(23:11):
term at the time, but ragswas slang for a period because you couldn't
actually say the word period. Thatwas too daggy. All right, you
had to say, I've got myrags. Okay. I gave justin a
letter to give to Nick. Ihope he got it. Okay, So

(23:37):
yeah, another go between this timeNick's brother. Aren't you waiting for Nick
to ask you out though? Yeah? So, but it would have just
been a friendly letter. Yeah.I was playing touch football at lunch and
Nick saw me. Luckily it wasat a good part. Maybe he'll ask

(24:00):
me to play with him one day. Who were Okay, we're straying into
just for listeners. Just to remindhim about two weeks ago, if he
tried to root you, you're goingto punch him in the head. Now
you want to play touch football withhim? M h. It's a little

(24:22):
bit more innocent than you know.Not really you want to touch his football,
so it's fine. And then afterI say this, I say,
anyway, I have to go nowI've got Bible study. The juxtaposition is
fantastic pros Yep, I want thisdude who wanted to root me. I'd

(24:42):
play with him after study the Bible. And I hardly swore all day.
I'm getting better, good job,except when I wrote shit in my diary
and yeah and insinuated you wanted tomolest a young boy. Yes, yeah,

(25:06):
he didn't swear. That's oh no, I didn't swear. And Brett
Hodgson is going with Katie Ball.Didn't he just break up with someone you
just did the day before because hesaid he wanted to be single? Okay?
So okay, is there scurreless scuttlebuck coming about this or is that

(25:30):
just a thing of note. Wellit says, oh, Brett Hodgson is
going with Katie Ball, and hereckoned he was going to stay single.
Okay, I could kill him.He is such a wacko nerd wanker Richard
Cranium. Okay, all right,I guess that's my my non swearing way

(25:52):
of saying dick it. Okay,yep, not intent matters, but okay,
yeah, we don't think much ofBrett. That was just I mean,
poor Jasmine want to I want tobe single? And then next day
another girl. So who told youthis bit of information? Oh everybody would

(26:15):
have known he's going with Katie.Yeah, because there has been some false
confirmations of going with Listeness. Sothis was a deaf and okay, yeah,
must go. I love Nick.Okay, Wednesday is it going to

(26:38):
be the Wednesday? Based on thisstory? I'm just going to get my
heart broken. So I am preparingWednesday, October twenty fifth, nineteen eighty
nine, Dear Diary. He askedme, yay, even though sport was
canceled, He's still asked me okaybecause he was going to ask me at

(27:06):
a sport because we did skating forsport. Yeah, yep. Well,
I was sitting on a bench atthe bottom of the oval stands and all
of a sudden, Joseph would burnand Carl Duffy came up and Joseph goes,
you still want to go with Nick, don't you? And I go
yeah, of course, and hegoes, well, he said yes.

(27:33):
It turned out Joseph had asked Nickfor me. I hadn't asked him to
do that. He just took itupon himself to do it. But I
said I'd wanted Nick to ask me. So Nick came over to me,
put his face three centimeters from mineand said, will you go with me?

(28:00):
And I'm so surprised, and Igo, yes, I will.
So you didn't get grumpy and didn'tget her whole bang minea for anyone.
Okay, all right, this isgood. I don't know why. I
don't know why. I'm so surprised. I kind of knew it was coming.
You kind of manufactured the entire thingover the course of two weeks.
But yeah, oh surprised. I'mso so surprised. It was so good.

(28:26):
But Deborah wasn't there because she wassick. Yeah, so my best
friend missed the whole thing. That'snot really the point, but okay,
yeah, I must go. Seeya. I love Nick. So that's
it. That's all I get isbasically, you want to go out with

(28:47):
me, yes, and then nothing? Yep. Okay, well that's probably
all that happened. Okay, yeah, ps, it's nine fifteen PM and
Dad isn't home from work yet andhas wrong. Okay, Okay, that
sounds like foreshadowing, and is itbad foreshadowing? We'll see. Oh,

(29:12):
Thursday October twenty sixth, nineteen eightynine, Dear Diary, Today was excellent.
They announced that the school dance wouldbe next Wednesday, and Justin said,
Nick always goes, so I'll probablygo to all right. So they

(29:37):
used to be three or four ofthese every year, like once a semester
or once a turn. But Ihadn't been to any of them so far.
I hadn't been interested, but nowI was because of Nick. We
lost our touch game today. Theother team year nine regional players. We

(30:02):
lost seven to three. Oh wellthat's not too bad. Yeah, was
that? Is it surprise you thatI'm playing sport? No, it doesn't,
Oh it does me doesn't. Lookingback on this, I'm like,
wow, I actually played a competitivesport. What. Well, to be
fair, you were skating two tothree times a week and all that time,

(30:26):
so you were actively involved. Andyeah, I'm surprised is the wrong
adjective. It doesn't shock me thatyou would be involved in something. My
hand eye coordination sucks, so cancannot confirm or deny. So not.

(30:48):
Yeah, well it's bad. It'sabout as good as my drawing. Well
it's yeah. Well that's the thingis, it's kind of hard to say
it shocks me. You're playing itdoesn't shock me, it's just does that.
Okay, I didn't say you weregood at it shock me, That's

(31:14):
what I was trying to say.Did I didn't think you were playing Grand
final football? But yeah, youstroke me, struck me as a person
who would give it a go.Maybe I'm the reason we lost? Well?
Was it seven to three as inseven tries to three tries? Or
seven to three as in scoring asin scoring? Sorry? Yeah, well

(31:37):
that's not That's not too bad consideringplaying people Boveeah and they were a regional
team, so fair play. That'sthat's only one try away from from equal
up, So yeah, not toobad. Let's see. I didn't see
much of Nick because of the touchgame because that would have been lunchtime.

(32:01):
But I'll see him tomorrow, Saturdayand maybe Sunday. But I've got detention
on Monday and Tuesday for English.Why whole class detention? Why? I

(32:22):
can't remember? I do remember thatthose detentions plus a whole class detention that
we once got in art, werethe only detentions I ever had in high
school. Yeah, and likely Iwasn't involved in whatever behavior led to the
whole class detention, collective punishment.Yeah. Anyway, Dad's friends are coming

(32:49):
around because they need a JP tosign some stuff, so i'd better go
and either do some assignments or ringNick. I love Nick. And had
you spoken to Nick on the phone? Actually, had you had a full
conversation with Nick since he asked youout? Probably not? Since ye lunchtime

(33:12):
I was playing sports, so didn'treally see him. So this is the
Thursday, isn't it? So theday after I've been going out a whole
day. Wow. Friday. Oh, just backtracking a bit. Obviously nothing
happened to Dad because it yeah,it was probably he was just running late

(33:36):
from work. I hate foreshadowing likethat because it's just like no. So
oh no, Friday, October twentyseven, nineteen eighty nine, do you
diary. I talked to Nick quitea bit today. Hey, you said
hello Nick, as opposed to justtell just tie. At little lunch he

(34:00):
asked me if I was going skatingtonight, and I explained that I wasn't
allowed to go skating at night afterwhat happened at the overnight skate. Okay,
so your parents had known about it, they must, but I don't

(34:21):
remember any of that. Okay,I wonder if my brother dipped one percent,
not even a question, and heprobably he probably made it seventeen hundred
and fifty two. But anyway,dose you know why if he says that

(34:44):
he gets to go to the nighttimeskate and doesn't have to babysit you,
well, he was working at theskating rink, so he would have been
able to go anyway. Yeah,but he did. He wouldn't be burdened
with the responsibility of you. That'strue, because it was always look out
for his sister. I like howI'm using the terms little lunch and big

(35:05):
lunch. Like I'm in primary school. I still use little lunch and big
lunch. I'm in a high paidjob with professionals and my morning break,
I still say I'm gonna have alittle lunch and then I'm going to lunch.
It's ingrained. Somebody needs to bringthose back. Heyes, because my
kids have first break and second break. Annoyed my daughter when I used to

(35:30):
see you on little lunch or biglunch, just like dad, how dare
then at big lunch? He askedif I wanted to play tackle Red Rover
Bold okay, mmm, he wasvery much into sport and I declined the

(35:57):
offer. It was or had been, depending on the time pouring with rain,
but I stayed out in the rainand watched them anyway, So was
this a co ed thing where girlswould be playing or yeah, it was
just at lunch. Whoever wanted toplay would have played. So just a
muck around game type of thing.Yeah, okay, yeah, I'm going

(36:22):
to guess that if I had played, the boys probably would have not tackled
any of the girls to the groundanyway. Okay, so I wouldn't have
got muddy, but maybe I wasa bit shy about playing sport around him,

(36:43):
although he had watched my touch game, So I don't know. Can
we be serious for a moment?Knowing your mum and knowing if you'd gotten
dirty, your mum would raise hellslash? You had just had a concussion
fall, hurt your no on atskating, and you've also been clutzy in

(37:05):
other ways, so it's probably selfpreservation on your GT. I can't play
because when I fall over, andalso to you had just explained to him
at little Lunch. I can't gobecause my mom and dad think I'm a
slut. So it follows a biglunch. You say, I can't play
because if I get muddy, mymum and dad will be angry at me.
So yeah, yeah, probably.Okay. Then I was having a

(37:31):
pretend bitch fight with Heidi and whenthe bell rang, Nick came up and
said, what's the problem, andI go Heidi thinks I'm an arrogant bitch,
and Heidi said, no, Iwas only kidding. You're a really
nice girl. And I said,oh sure. So Heidi repeats what she
said, and Nick looks me straightin the eye and goes, yeah,

(37:54):
a really nice girl and puts hisarm around me. Dun, awesome,
dun, in front of teachers,students, everybody, including Abigail Nisan who
is also madly in love with him. And wasn't that they weren't they two

(38:15):
apparently going out? Or is thata different person? No, that was
raish, Yeah that's right. Okay, So Abigail was in his grade and
really wanted to go out with him. Now, when that happened and you
saw it was in front of Abigail, did you sort of preen a little
bit like, oh, yeah,that that's just happened. And I don't

(38:37):
know, but probably So this issort of passed myself fake bitch fight you're
having about going like, oh,yeah, you're really arrogant and up yourself.
I know you're a really sweet person. Arm around It instantly switched to
oh I'm arrogant, not myself,because look I'm so good and you're in
love with him. But I gothim, so but maybe a little bit

(39:01):
armble because then it says I turnedbright red. Also Deborah Heidi and Michelle
Merrill reckon. Okay, so wouldthis be the first significant physical contact?
Would have been the first physical contactfull stop? I think, well,
you never know, like skating andall that type of thing that might have

(39:24):
been, but intentional physical contact.Yes, okay, so big deal,
very big deal. Anyway, he'sgoing skating tomorrow afternoon, so I'll see
him there, and Roseanne will bethere haha, she'll be really peeved.

(39:46):
And Megan, Fiona all the regulars, and Lucas Green. So Lucas was
a guy who was just in myclass at school, who hadn't been skating
before, but he was going well, not that he hadn't been skating before,
but I'd never seen him out ofskating before he didn't go regularly.

(40:07):
He reckons he can skate better thanme. I don't know about that.
We'll see. I love Nick,Okay, all right, I've been burned
by Saturday skates with Nick before.So yeah, Lucas could not skate better
than me. Uh, he justthought he could. Maybe he was the

(40:29):
type of person back then who waslike boys can do things better than girls.
So is it? Is it aninteresting thing to note that we've never
been skating together. We have it? And I used to skate every weekend
at roller cave we used to callOkay, which is Yeah, it was

(40:57):
torn down a long time ago,but it's still the history thing and had
pink floors, and yeah, Iused to skate all had my own pair
of skates. Part of the reasonmy toes are so screwed up is because
my skates were too small and Ididn't want to get a new pair,
so I just skated in that.And yeah, I've shot videos on roller

(41:17):
skates and yeah, we've never beenskating together. We need to make it
half in. Is there a skatingrink near you? No, not anymore.
There is a skating rink kind ofnear me. All right, we're
going to have to figure that outsometimes. What do you think your proficiency

(41:38):
on skates currently is pretty good?Like riding a bike? Oh yeah,
okay, all right, yeah we'veI've still got my skates. We've never
been skating together, and it's comeup so much. But yeah, like
even before this podcast. Yeah,we need to do it so fun.

(41:59):
We'll have to research that. Okay, all right, So a bit of
a build up here. Nick andI are going out. He's put his
arm around me, and we're goingskating Saturday together. So Sunday, October
twenty nine. So you've missed Saturdaycompletely nine. Please tell me there's a

(42:22):
retail carry. I couldn't write lastnight because I was in excruciating agony at
skating. At about four point fifteen, the dancers are just finished and I
walked back over to the side.Meghan and I were rolling one of my
skates at each other. I jumpedover it and came down on my ankle.

(42:50):
I've never been in so much painbefore. Philip said I might have
damaged the attendance. Mum is takingme to the doctor tomorrow morning. Okay.
After I got an ice pack atskating, Nick sat with his arm
around me until he had to goat four forty five. He didn't even

(43:15):
get up to go in any ofthe games or anything, okay, okay,
all right, very chivalrous of him, very much. So. Yes,
And when he did go, hekissed me. Okay, so is

(43:39):
there details? I melted into theground, which is what the ice pack
was doing. It was a reallylong kiss, and I think his father
saw Okay, all right, ourfirst kiss fascinate Okay, all right,

(44:07):
Okay. I wrote him a lettertelling him pretty much that I didn't want
to have sex with him. Iwant respect and love, okay, and
I have a feeling that it's goingto work out between us, Okay,
all right. I think that wasbecause of all the root talk that I

(44:30):
wanted to be clear with him fromthe beginning that that's off the table.
Okay, all right, understandable,yep. Yeah. I hope God made
me attracted to him and that weare meant to be. I'd love to
stay in his arms forever. It'snice to be held by him. I

(44:51):
feel strong, supported, cared for, wanted and needed. I love Nick,
love me, Okay, all right, Okay. Things are happening very
much, so very very much,but not not in a scandalous way like

(45:16):
has happened in the past. It'strue, but still board it is.
Yeah, Monday, October thirty,nineteen eighty nine, DoD Diary. I
didn't go to school. I hadto stay home with ice on my foot.

(45:37):
Okay, yeah, I can walkon it now. Just I thought
I was going to the doctor,that's what. Maybe I didn't need to.
Well, your mom was taking yourdoctor, so your mom might have
thought you didn't. Yeah. Ifeel I am failing, failing my self

(46:00):
and failing God. All my hearthas gone to Nick and Cleo, so
I don't have anything left to getmyself together with. I've even been thinking
I want to make love to Nick. I want to have my first time
with someone I love, and thatsomeone has to be Nick. My feelings

(46:22):
towards him are stronger than I feltfor anybody, and I'm sorry to say
I even love him more than Ilove God. Okay, know, is
there some big feelings? Yes,yes, I have to get it together
somehow, but I have a feelingit's going to take a while, so

(46:45):
yeah, I think there. I'mlike, yeah, really really big feelings,
but at the same time acknowledging thatthat's a bit out there, and
I might need to rein it ina bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
because remind everyone how old you arethirteen yea, so yeah, big

(47:10):
bad feelings. Yeah yeah, obviouslygot it really bad for Nick, though,
How do I put this in?Okay? Is it because he said
yes? I don't know, becauseyou've had so many other guys not be

(47:30):
worthy of you and not treat youwell that Nick said yes, and you're
like, yep, so he's theone. Possibly he's also yeah, he's
treating me a lot better. Definitelya decent person. Boys in the past.
That flows through from the guys whohaven't treated you well. But it's

(47:52):
like, is that sort of wrappedin as like, after all these false
starts, there's a nice person who'sactually going yeah, and you're like yeah,
so I've like just grabbed onto that, and I'm thinking, this is
it? This is what love is? Yeah? Love in the thirteen year
old Yes yeap. Tuesday, Octoberthirty first, nineteen eighty nine, Halloween,

(48:20):
Dear Diary, I've caught a wogoff, Nick. I have creep
in the mornings and a bad coffinsore throat all day. Even apologized for
giving it to me. He's sonice. Yep, well, Nick,
so far as I just I can'tget my heart breaking again. So I'm

(48:43):
going yep, Nick saying all theright things, but I have I have
bombastic side. I waiting for him. We swapped spit and swapped viruses too,
apparently, Carrie. So the letterthat I mentioned previously, Ricky gave

(49:06):
him that letter that's female Ricky,but she and Deborah read it first.
Okay, they said it was good, though not great, but okay,
good feedback. Yeah, Ricky isreading Forever now. I hope it gets

(49:27):
back to me soon. So thisis the book Forever by Judy Bloom.
You know that one. I've neverread it, but I know of the
Judy Bloom series. Yeah, thisparticular one was for older teenage readers,
and it ended up being a bannedbook in quite a few places because it

(49:52):
was pretty graphic for less let's say, less restrained. I wouldn't say graphics,
I mean it was less restrained.There were sex scenes in it,
talk of penises, Judith Bloom sortof yeah, sex scenes as well.

(50:15):
So yeah, I mean, nowI go thinking back now, pretty tame,
But at the time it was likeWow. At the time, if
you didn't have a hat on thatyou were considered to be scandalous. So
yeah, true. I hope itgets back to me soon. I have
to give it back to Fiona onSaturday. Okay, see you're you and

(50:36):
your friends are trading smart books.Excellent. Yeah, yeah, very good,
exactly. I just noticed that thereis cat hair all over my bed.
Okay, I mean, well it'sthrown up and peed all over your
bed as well, so yeah,a little bit of hair, it's nothing.

(50:59):
Dad stayed up all last night duringhis tax return. He could have
had most of it done on Friday, which was his day off, but
he bludged instead. Fantastic at theDad, he could have had all yesterday
to bludge if he'd got stuck intoit on Friday. I without digging too

(51:21):
deep into me personally, it's like, yeah, I don't necessarily, Yeah,
there are days that bludges need tohappen, and yeah, anyway,
every few minutes, he'd yell hishead off at the fucking computer and get
so frustrated that he threatened to chuckit out the window. Doing it on
the computer very advanced for dad,bestie, Yes, this would have been

(51:45):
a one eight six PC yep,yep. So yeah, so here's just
a bit of doing your taxes atthe last minute agro. Yeah, well,
and bit of frustration doing it.Now it's basically you can do it
under about three or four minutes.But yeah, the time is yeah exactly.

(52:06):
Back then, yeah, yeah,it was scary. I remember the
first time I did my paper taxes, and which were pretty straightforward, but
even that was yeah, so youstill talking. You know, used to
get like the three or four pagething and then the like the one hundred
page book that you had to flickthrough, and yes, yeah, it

(52:27):
was stressful. So I completely understandthat now. I think there's something I'm
involved with. When the bass statmentsare now automatically done, no human has
to touch it, just submitted,and it's like, okay the bass is
you? Oh did someone do thebest? Okay? All right? Cool?
Great, huh done it? Easy? See. Yeah, Now we

(52:52):
skip a couple of days, okay, which yeah, I've been writing pretty
much every day, yeah for awhile. Now skip two days in a
row. So is what's coming afterthat? Is it something weak? Is
that a new episode type of brain? No, We've got a little bit
more but it's now Friday and Novemberthe third night. Nine. Okay,

(53:17):
dear Diary, Well, Nick's donea bit of the dirty on me.
You breaking my heart? Nick?He danced, He danced with a couple
of girls at the social Okay,did you go to the Is nothing serious?
No? You couldn't because my ankle? Yeah? Okay, but hopefully

(53:39):
it was nothing serious. Okay,all right. I don't want to invest
now. I don't want to investtoo much into Nick because I feel badness
coming. Well now, it saysI have a lot of questions to ask

(53:59):
him tomorrow, such as one abouthis family, parents, etc. Two
what his purpose of life is?Okay, yep, We're going from hello
to what is the meaning of life? Hello, let's go out together?

(54:22):
What's the extension? What is theanswer to this existential question that will define
your dialogly? Okay yep? Yeah? Three? How he feels about me?
Four? What he wants to dowhen he leaves school? And five,

(54:43):
relating to number three, what hesees in me other than the usual
that is not just another girl toget with and screw around with, but
one who he will love, carefor and cherish. And how old is
Nick again? Fourteen? It's hardfor me because it's like, that's a

(55:10):
lot of stuff to put on afourteen year old boy. Now that's not
defending boys will be boys and allthat type of thing, but they're big,
huge philosophical swings that are being askedhere and like, I need you,
at fourteen to know exactly who youare and know exactly what my worth
is and treat me. It's yeah, I mean, it's I'm ready to

(55:37):
move past hello, I onto somebigger topics, and that's that's you basically
claiming your own agency. But there'salso on the other hand, Nick's gun.
He's probably going like, okay,although if my things he's part of
this this root question, I don'tthink that exists now because he seems to

(56:01):
be like a decent bloke. Butit's like they are pretty when you think
back on it, they are prettyhardcore things to ask a fourteen year old
to define, especially with no preambleat all. It's just like, hey,
skating, Oh you accidentally touched myboob. Now tell me about the

(56:22):
meaning of life. When did heaccidentally touch my boob? But okay,
I'm just saying, like, ifyou're going skating, cappain skater, he's
got his arm around you. Therecould have been an accidental touch of the
boob, like a graze or somethinglike that. It's like all scandalous,
by the way, define your entireexistence and how I mean to you and

(56:43):
how you're going to commit to mefor the rest of your life. I
mean, that's a that's a big, big fan shift. But I think
if there had been an accidental boobgrace, I would have written about it.
Oh yeah, but this is theday. It would have been a
big thing. But even something likeyou couple skating in there's a bump or
a sideways thing or something, that'swhat I mean, like that that very

(57:05):
innocent sort of like he bumped intomy boobs meaning or something like, oh,
by the way to find what Imean to you and my work in
this world? Oh I just Ididn't even know I accidentally touched your boob.
Now I have to sort of ridea diet dry. Yeah. Yeah,
just the smallest grain of sand ofsympathy for young Nick on this beach

(57:29):
of importance. But yeah, poorNick. I'm not going to say poor
Nick because he's probably going to bean asshole at some point. But I'm
just saying at this point in time, as a fourteen year old boy,
it's like I have I have asmall bit of grace for him. Yes,
what is a big list of questions? Trust me, you can knock

(57:51):
out three of those questions and itwould still be a big list of questions.
Yeah, so I'll ask him atskating I love him so much?
Or do I? Well, itdepends on the answers that he gives.
Might be Saturday, November before nineteeneighty nine? Do we have answers to

(58:15):
ask questions? Let's find out.Okay, the ginger cat was in the
yard again this morning, along withthe black and white one. Cleo gets
along really well with the black andwhite one. I think its name is
Bluebell. What a weird name.It's something you'd call a cow. Then

(58:40):
in brackets it says I'm funking coldwith Medina. So I think I'm watching
Rage. Yes, yes, youknow. I only spoke to Nick once
yesterday at school, Okay, okay, twice at the canteen. He said

(59:06):
hello and I said hi. Okay. Conversation two went like this him Hello,
Me Hello Him? Is this beforeor after you had just listed the

(59:29):
like see the stuff that you wroteto ask him. Did you write that
on the Friday morning? I wrotethat like Friday night, and this is
Saturday morning before skating. But you'rereflecting of what you spoke to him yesterday
about? Is that right? Atschool? Yeah? Okay? Cool?

(59:49):
So he said hello, I saidhello. He said you're still a bit
kroky. I said yeah, Ihad to go to the doctor yesterday and
he said give it back to mebold yep. And that's all that was
said. That's all that was saidbetween us. I hope we're not falling

(01:00:13):
apart. Okay, all right there? Did you kiss him? I don't.
I Well, now in brackets itsays bon jovies laying his hands on
ya. My declaration of accidental boomgrays may not be so far from maybe

(01:00:36):
not. Did you know that thereare only five more weeks of school to
live through? Wow? That meansI've got three weeks to finish my homemak
project, So i'd better get movingthe sewing thing that you are strong?
Yeah, still yep, although Ican do plenty at home if I bring

(01:01:00):
my stuff home and Mum could helpme. Mum's idea of help is to
do it for me, which suitsme. I'll make sure that I don't
finish it until the second last lessonotherwise, otherwise I'll have to make another
project because the teacher, Oh,just because you couldn't be idle in class.

(01:01:27):
So yeah, Anthony finished his earlyand now he has to make a
pencil case. Sucked in aunt,But he can make the crappiest pencil case
in the world because he's already finishedhis project, hasn't he. So yeah,
I think he actually liked sewing.That's why he finished it. Now

(01:01:49):
he's happily making this pencil case.But I couldn't think of anything worse,
all right, Okay, yeah,Sharon Law is going with Tony Dixon.
What a dog? Okay, it'sscrewed Tony. I don't know what Tony's
done, but just like, okay, he's a dog. Bye, and

(01:02:14):
I love Nick. Okay, soyou're doing this Saturday morning, aren't you?
Okay? All right, yeah,okay, all right, and we'll
have to wait till next episode tofind out. Okay, all right,
I was like, there's teething aroundthe edge GK. Yeah, okay,
cool, awesome, okay, excellent. Well that's that's another Like we've had

(01:02:37):
a small win for your romantic life. But it's like, oh yeah,
I am so scared that something bad'sgonna happen, not like not just not
worrying, oh you dropped, butlike something bad because you're you've fallen deep.
You're like, you're hardcoreing. Ihave so yea And the fact that

(01:02:58):
Nick's not your husband right now meansthat something happened, yes, yeah,
and you know what it is andI don't know what it is. And
it's like, okay, all right, well let everyone know about our Instagram
so we can get onto this nextepisode. Dari of my bestie, come

(01:03:22):
and hang out there and please askus some questions, yes, and let
us know things like on the ragand all those things that we've mentioned.
You've got any questions asking us,please do yes? All right? Well,
yeah, this rollercoaster ain't stopping andwe're we're ron it. So we'll

(01:03:45):
talk to you next time and seewhere this goes. Thank you, Besty,
thank you, bye bye