Line Grinder

This episode begins with Bestie awaiting the imminent return of Chad from soccer camp. 

Has their love survived their time apart?

Listen in to find out.

And remember, if you think you know us - no, you don't!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
I've known my bestie for fifteen yearsnow, But what was she like before
I met her? Welcome to Diaryof my Bestie, where she reads to
me her childhood diaries or names andidentifying places have been changed to protect the
innocent and the guilty, but werealso anonymous. So if you think you
know us, no you don't.Welcome back to Diary of my Bestie.
Hello bestI, Hello Bestie. Ineed to work on that introduction again because

(00:24):
I stumble every time and in differentspots every time. You just shorten it
up, like, yo, heygum, so how are you? I'm
good? And I just had athought actually while you were doing the introduction,
because it takes her bloody long.Yeah, what was she like before
I met her? She was abrazen hussy. Oh we know that.

(00:47):
This is just the this is justthe details. You weren't brazen, You
were discreet, but yeah you werestill us. Yes. Look, I
was going to tempt fate and gofloozy, but no, you you had
a moral line that you wouldn't cross. You just did. You rode that
line often. There were, yes, many people I viewed as potential suitors.

(01:15):
You ground that line more than askater at like seven point thirty at
night on a Friday at them allgoing pulling some sick grinds, line grinder.
Yes, so where are we goingnow? Because the love do decahedron
continues. Yes, I like Chad, that's right, it was the love

(01:41):
rhombus. Yeah, Chad and Igoing out. My friend Carol likes Chad.
Chad's best friend Matthew likes me.Okay, yeah, all right,
that's where we were at. Itwas school holidays still and Chad has been
at Socheguees. Yeah. I'm veryexcited to see where this goes because it

(02:07):
could be that someone else walks pastyou. It is like and the whole
situation goes away. So this issecond week of the school holidays now,
Okay, Tuesday. During the twentysixth, nineteen ninety Dear Diary, I
went shopping today. I got ajive bunny jumper. Okay, yeah,

(02:34):
interesting choice there, silver was thejive bunny jumper just a whole lot of
other jumpers stitched together in a ina fascinating way. Or was it just
de literally just say jive bunny?I had like the bunny, the cartoon
bunny on the front. Yeah,silver hoop earrings. I guess to wear

(02:57):
with my give bunny jumper. Yes, dressing gown, a winter nighty Okay,
new ug boots. I'm guessing I'vegrown out of last year's winter things
and this is quite a quite ahole you're getting here. Yeah, I'm
guessing I'm shopping with Mum and she'sbought most of this for me. Okay,

(03:20):
Yeah, two exercise books, someglue, a Corey Haim magazine Okay,
all right, interesting shout out tomy awkward teenage diary who I know
had a big crush on Corey haymabout this time. Sorry, I'm not

(03:40):
trying to steal your man, butdidn't matter which Corey it was. It
did to me. I was reallya Corey Feldman kind of girl. It's
possible that I got the Corey haymagazine because it had pictures of him and
Corey Feldman in it. Okay,so yeah, bird book and a Comedy

(04:02):
Company book. Okay. Interesting,Actually don't remember having that book. Do
I remember the Comedy Company book?Possibly? I have to look that up
later and see what I find.Because we've all known the story about me
serving one of the guys from Comedycompany. Imagine, yeah, little fanboy.

(04:28):
Well, you know it was veryformative, very formatives. The dove's
egg has hatched. I named thebaby Chad. Okay, so before we
get on, so your doves hadan egg apparently? Was this ever mentioned

(04:51):
previously or I don't think, sorry, but I did read doves as well
as budgies and everything else. Andyou've been so bold as to name the
egg Chad. Well, the egghatched. Okay, all right, so
it's the baby bird. Yeah bold, still bold? Yeah, yep.

(05:13):
Matthew was around this afternoon. Icould tell he likes me. Yeah,
so what I said at the startwhere the wind blows a different direction and
this whole thing goes away. Okay, so how are you going? What's
Matthew is? Who Chad's best friend? Oh that's right, yep, sorry,
yeah, crush on me. Yeah, it's hard to keep. He
was also friends with my brother becauseof church and because they Matthew played the

(05:38):
drums, my brother played music,and they used to play together. Okay,
right, so yeah, I can'twait until Chad comes back. I
miss him heaps. I think he'ssupposed to come back the next day,
like the Wednesday. So did Michaeltell you that he likes you? Or
do you just again this mystical Matthew. I can't remember. It's possible that

(06:09):
he was telling people from church orat school and they told me when they
weren't supposed to. But I foundout somehow. It's Sean Seller's birthday on
Friday, that's sewn from church whodrew the pictures? And my baptism on
Sunday. Okay, all right,I hope it isn't as cold as it

(06:31):
is now. Mum doesn't want tocome, okay, is there stuff to
unpack there? Or like? Iget the idea of having baptisms in winter.
So we grew up in the AnglicanChurch and we were christened as babies,
and as far as my mum wasconcerned, there was no need for

(06:54):
me to get baptized one of churchbecause I've already been christened. So I
think she was quite mad. Okay, I was turning my back on the
Anglican Church and getting baptized in aregular kind of Christian church. Well,
to be fair, the Christian Churchsaid it liked you, so you're just
heads on a swivel and gone.Ah. But the thing is, we

(07:16):
never went to church maybe sometimes atChristmas and that was it. So it's
a very nominal thing for my mum. But there's just certain things you don't
do. You don't eat meat onGood Friday. You just don't. Why
not, Mum, you just don't. There is a reason. And I've
had to look it up and everythinglike that, and yeah, there's it's

(07:40):
just a tradition thing and that youget someone like me. I'm like,
oh, that's a good challenge.What can I cook? That doesn't mean
in it, but yeah, it'sa thing. It's a it's a I
do it because it's important to otherpeople. And I don't have to share
why it's important to other people.All I have to acknowledge is this makes
another person and happy, and it'sthe least inconvenient thing I can do to

(08:03):
make them happy for a day.And that's why I want a mom to
come because it was important to me, yeah, for her to be there,
and she was just like no,and I remember being really really upset.
And there's also something to be saidfor like not to get off track,
but like conspiracy groups and all thesethings. The more that I've sort

(08:24):
of read, a lot of peoplehave dug into it, and it's the
peer groups that are the issue.Is that they believe all these weird things
and all these crazy ideas, Andthe reason they believe it so strong is
they, on a very subconscious level, understand that the continuing parroting of what
no matter how crazy it is,if they go against that tide, the

(08:48):
peer group goes with them. Sothey're more sticking to the craziness to maintain
the peer group than actually believing wholeheartedlyin what they say. Yep. And
I think the same with like itwould be to a lesser extent or some
extent to a church, is thatif you've been team this this type of
church for a while, it's likea football team, you don't want to

(09:11):
go and even support the and notnot for any other reason, but you
just don't want to be talked about. You don't want to be a topic
of conversation from other people. Sothat's what didn't make sense. Though she
didn't have a peer group as faras church was concerned. But there would
have been family, she would haveWould there have been family from that type

(09:33):
of church? Yeah, but theynever went to church either. Yeah.
But I'm wondering though, given thesmall town sort of viral nature of it.
If that if a person that wentto her old church or that church
knew one of her family members,the gossip would have got, ah,

(09:54):
your your, your sister or yourwhatever has gone to another church for this
and and the family member gone no, because all the family was into States
still, we had no family there, so and I know my grandparents are
always really supportive of my brother beinginvolved in this other church and getting baptized

(10:15):
in it and everything. But forwhatever reason, Mum was like not not
coming. It was like a Sunday, wasn't it. Did you have a
particularly good bakery in the area.I have no idea. All I'm saying
is I know a person who wasannoyed at having to go to a baptism
because it was in the opposite directionto their normal way to the bakery to

(10:37):
get croissants on a Sunday morning.I don't think my mum had a particular
commitment to any bakery. And Iknow a person who it got in the
way of their Sunday morning ritual theirown church of going and get a croissant
and a coffee from this bakery.If they went, they would either have

(10:58):
to go super early when the croissantswent early, were ready, or later
when the croissants were sold out,and just messed with their their routine.
Yeah pretty much. Yeah. Interestinganyway, I was really upset about it.
Anyway, I am having the followingpeople around for a while on Saturday

(11:20):
night. Chad, Matthew, Deborahokay, Kevin okay, Carrol Rachel and
maybe Paul Lancefield. Okay. Soit's like a like after the Real Housewives

(11:43):
end of season reunion. Everyone sitsdown the couch and go okay, So
what about this episode. We arejust having a little get together before school
goes back, and to celebrate Chadgetting into the state team if he does,
and to so lebrate my forthcoming baptism. Okay, We'll just be sitting
in the loundroom talking and listening tomusic. I'm going to turn all the

(12:09):
lights off. And that's why I'minviting mostly couples. And since Carol and
Matthew might be jealous of me andChad, they might get together. Ace
what a Macavilion plan. It's likeyou're going to basically prick Teasy's two into
getting together. So it's not makinga love match. It's sort of like

(12:31):
you both frustrated. All right,just look up with each other. Yeah
that's macavillion. Well you know,okay, interesting to see if it worked.
Wednesday, June twenty seven, nineteenninety. Next day, Dear Dary,

(12:52):
I responded to a pen pal adfrom a girl in Canada today.
I hope she writes back. Okay, so school holidays, looking for things
to do. I'm guessing must belooking for things to do, because then
I say my room is really clean. Ah okay, yeah, just on

(13:13):
the pen pal. Think you imaginetoday is like, oh yeah, no,
this person just advertised for send emailsto each other. So yeah,
we just chuck me a little.I suppose different times. But yeah,
yeah, I was talking to Deborahon the phone, but she had to
go because her dog got hit bya car. I hope she's all right.

(13:35):
Well, there isn't much else tosay. Skipped Thursday, this big
thing coming. So on to Friday, June twenty ninth, nineteen ninety,
Dear Diary, Well, Chad meta lovely sixteen year old girl at soccer
trials. So great, okay,so is that the end of the statement

(14:03):
is like there so he's dating her? Or is basically he just said he
hurt her, or it says anothergravestone in my graveyard of buried hopes.
How very my chemical romance are you? I talked to him and we are
still friends, kind of. You'veseen this human for two days out of

(14:26):
your two and a half week relationships, so it's not ok didn't even get
a chance to get off the ground. See, Okay, all right,
Well, I wish I could talkto jebre Butt. She's away for the
weekend, so I'll just have towait. Just going to bring it back.

(14:46):
Just as for Stuart, he's wayback a couple of months ago,
going like I did everything right.Nick Walters is visiting. So that was
Gail's older brother who was friends withmy brother. Okay, yep, he's
kind of cute. So is Michaelin the picture now because Matthew, you

(15:11):
mean matt Matthew. He's chatter Jasonand I don't mention him in this particular
one. Okay, Entry says,I'm still having kind of a party tomorrow
night. Ricky and Sean might becoming. So this is Sean from church,
Sean and Ricky. So they're thetwo American missionary type, Yeah,

(15:33):
the one who drew you like aFrench girl. Yes, yeah, I
have to go to bed now.Hang on, I'm starting to cry.
And just to confirm two fourteen notquite okay? So thirteen and you are

(15:54):
have friends or pea groups or friendsaround your age coming to the party.
Yeah, yeah, oh friends,And then like Mike would be around and
some of his church friends as well, and the twenty five year old dude
from America. Well, because thedudes from America were living with Kimberly and
Kimberly's Mike's scotfriend. Yep, yeahit wasn't like that. I know,

(16:21):
it wasn't like that. But ifyou if I had to describe to another
human who wasn't you and wasn't me? I yeah, my best friend had
a party before their baptism and inviteda twenty five year old dude around who
was visiting from America and charmed herby drawing her a picture. How old
were they thirteen? That is acontextual statement, which is like, ooh,

(16:44):
okay, my parents were there andthey were more like youth group leaders
type thing. I've got to keepreminding everyone. Your parents also let you
go on a drive in date whenyou were twelve with a nineteen year old.
There was absolutely nothing with Shannenki,absolutely nothing. I'm not suggesting anything.

(17:07):
I'm just saying in the context ofthe moment, if I had to
explain what we were talking about tosomeone else, she's all going a party
where she had all her friends aroundand thirteen and then these two twenty five
year old dudes. But no,because it wasn't just thirteen. There would
have been thirteen year old, fourteenyear old, sixteen and seventeen year olds,

(17:27):
nineteen year olds, and then theguys in their twenties. And would
you have been the youngest person?Probably? Yeah? All right, Saturday,
July the seventh, nineteen ninety sowe've bought skipped a week, Dear

(17:49):
Diary. I thought that something wasgoing on between Clint and Julie. So
Clint is that friend of my brotherswho said that I got with the seven
hundred and fifty two guys at theovernight Escape. Okay, And by this
stage he's like finished school now becausehe graduated the year before and he got

(18:10):
an apprenticeship. He had to beat work like six o'clock in the morning
or something like that because he livedslightly out of town and he rode a
bicycle. Okay. That meant thathe had to leave his house at like
five o'clock in the morning or somethingto be able to get to work in
time. So he started to boardat our house. So he was like

(18:37):
my parents' border okay, all right. Yeah, so we had a granny
flat at this house, and soMike and Clint lived in the granny flat.
Okay, yeah, so Clint wasthe border perfect strangers type of relationship
sitcom happening outside your house. Yeah. And then Julie is a girl from

(19:02):
school and church who's in the samegreat as Kimberly. Okay, all right,
so I thought there was something goingon between Clint and Julie, but
nothing seems to be happening. Nowhere is Clint to have his say.
Okay, so hey, Clint,you shagging this girl right in my diarry
I'm thirteen. Yeah, well,Clint doesn't really know what's happening. Last

(19:27):
night was meant to be my night, but something happened on the way to
heaven. Ha ha, sob,SOB, I wonder what, oh well,
bye from me. So that's Clintwriting Yeah, okay, right,
and this is not the Sunday afterthe Saturday night, this is the another

(19:48):
whole week okay after yeah, soyeah, Apparently this girl had said on
Friday night it's going to be yournight, as in, we're going to
start actually going out, okay,right, and then she didn't turn up
to the youth group or whatever itwas I was supposed to be meeting at

(20:10):
and because something came up apparently obviouslynot him. Yeah, and then I've
written, well, well, well, I went for a hike up Table
Hill with Ricky, Sean, Jeremy, Greg and Craig. It was fun.

(20:32):
So that was just like a localhike. I have been, yes,
and did not farewell on it.There are all people from church,
Okay, Clint has the weirdest shapedface. Are you going to fall for
Clint because you're paying a lot ofattention to him to notice the size of

(20:55):
his head. I just remembered thatwhen I was writing this, I just
happened to be sitting at the sametable as him, like the dining table,
and I actually told him as Iwas writing it, I was saying
it out loud, Clint has theweirdest shaped face. That just to annoy
him. That's great for Clint good. Good for him. He was like
a big another big brother, soI paid out on him all the time.

(21:18):
Yeah, he's like, oh mymy roommate's little sisters just hanging crap
on me and making me write ina diary all because it's too bloody cold
at five o'clock in the morning whenI ride and I push you to a
w Yeah, Clint has the weirdestshaped face. Will Mike ever grow up?

(21:41):
That's a bit of a side swipefor no reason? What do I
think it would be ace to bea spy? But that is naughty?
Okay? Very random tangents? Yeah, extremely random. Okay, I'm supposed
to I'm supposed to be doing astupid outsider's assignment, but I'd rather write

(22:07):
in this diary. Okay. Yeah, I actually really like that book.
And you know what, my daughter'sstudying that right now in school. Interesting.
Okay, I'm going to tell youa secret me or the diary both?
Okay? Cool? I like JeremyBruce. Do I know Jeremy?

(22:36):
Is this a new character? Kimberly'sbig brother? I've mentioned him? Okay,
yep, okay, sorry? Whowas the school captain last year and
he's now finished okay, and you'rein still in grade night. Yeah okay.
It's the kind of like you can'ttell anyone about because they would just
say impossible. So I'm going tokeep it a secret. And if he

(22:59):
likes me, fair enough, ButI don't want to get sad, so
as I've said, the best thingto do is say nothing. Okay,
very sensible it is. I geta plate on Monday. Vo excellent orthodontic
plate. Yea, I love themso much. This one is a bite

(23:25):
plate with a screw, so itwas to like a palette expander. I
have to sing at musical practice Mondaynight. Oh no, I won't be
able to because of my plate.So this is a different thing besides the

(23:48):
dancing and the skating is now seeingyeah, well just school musical okay,
yeah ah, okay, so I'mpretty sure at this point the dancing things
not happening anymore. Okay, You'vedone your big thing in front of the
everyone at skating and now it's over. Okay. I'm also going to the

(24:11):
library so I can do some researchfor my science report on AIDS and other
infectious diseases. Okay, all right, still a bit of a fan of
infectious diseases, no contracting them.Yeah, although if it said it liked
you, you'd probably consider it.Yeah, well, you never know.

(24:33):
The baby dove is so cute.I'm trying to tame it. It needs
a new name because I don't wantto call it Chad anymore. I told
you it was a dangerous thing.Yeah, Blue says shut up sometimes,
nice my bird. That's because wheneverhe was like too noisy, I'd be

(24:55):
like, shut up. So ourbird tells our dog to quiet. Oh
that's funny. Twenty one Jump Streetis on tonight. I love that show.
Yeah, okay, yep, WellI suppose i'd better go and do

(25:15):
my assignment. Now. I'll writemore later, Yeah, all right later.
I just saw dirty dancing for thesecond time. Okay, all right,
class sick. Seeing the beautiful dancingmakes me cry. Oh how I

(25:37):
wish I could dance like that.The moves, the put togetherness, it
all just fits house dancing, isn'tit all like that? All you need
to do is have a sister whoalmost gets knocked up and another one who
does and has a backyard of allit's all good and you can dance.
In the end of season dance.Yeah, maybe house dancing isn't what I

(26:03):
really want to do. But ifthat's not it, what is maybe rap
hip hop dancing or yeah, thatkind of stuff that I had been doing
with my dance troupe. Okay,yep, maybe I'm just thinking that because
I'm overwhelmed by the movie. Ithink I'll put stand by Me on to

(26:26):
calm myself down. Yeah, becausenothing says cool calming, non emotional film
then finding a dead body with friends. Yeah, now this is a movie
in capitol letters. Okay. Ilove this, especially River and Corey Feldman.
Okay, I also like Keith ofUgh. I also like Keiper Sutherland.

(26:52):
I think River is my favorite actor. Though. Gee, I'm hot
and I'm a bit sunburnt from today. I should have worn sunscreen, trappy
young players, and this is duringwinter, so you would have got extra
uv B. I just realized I'mtalking about total and utter insignificance. Well,

(27:14):
maybe I'll look back and read thisand remember all this boring stuff and
think, wow, I used tobe such a drag. No, we
look back and read this and go, gee, whyn't you a slut hussy?
Guess what who you like? Now? I just looked at the TV

(27:40):
guide and guess what's on at onepm tomorrow afternoon. See, I can't
judge your level of excitement from thatfar ago, so I'm just going to
say a safe bet, rocky horrorpicture, The Wizard of Us. Okay,
here you go. I was wrongmovie classic afternoon movie too. Yes,

(28:03):
yeah, that and the sound ofmusic. So because it went for
so long and they're able to checkout, well, I think I'll go
and finish watching Stamp by Me.Now. I'll write more tomorrow and I
actually do Sunday, July the eighth, nineteen ninety Dear Diary, I just

(28:27):
reread part of Go Ask Alice.It is horrible how people get into drugs.
It just, if you'll excuse mylanguage, screws you up. I
have never wanted to take drugs andI never will. It is disgusting,
Okay, And I never have youmainline caffeine though. Caffeine, yeah,

(28:51):
but not illicit okay. Jocks nevereven tried pot Okay, So that was
one of the things that I sworei'd never do. When I stuck to
it. When we get to likeseventy five of you, and I'm just
going to basically take up and spenda whole year just being stoners. Yeah,
what do you want for your eightyeighty fifth birthday, Grandpalor can I

(29:15):
do a line of coke? Orcan I get some heroin? Maybe not
that far, but you know,go out at the back of the nursing
home and have a few puffs.But that's the thing. If you're like
ninety eight and you do it,you do a whack of heroin, and
then you when you pass away fromit, they say, look, he

(29:36):
took heroin and he died when hewas ninety eight. It was basically no
like those terrible like those guys who'ssmoke and then they die at ninety six,
and you go, see, hesmoked his life. It was fine,
he moved on my life. I'mfine. He's a broken human.
That's what my mom says. She'sin the seventies and she's like, oh,
I smoke and I'm still here.Yeah. The thing is, we

(30:00):
can't cremate you because you'll burn forabout twelve hours. You're not allowed to
do hot pitch in a community.You're terrible him, love you. My
legs are really sore from the highkiss today. My knee is not any

(30:22):
worse or any better. It isjust bummed up as usual. Okay,
all right. I used to haveproblems with my knee. Could have been
from skating, could have been fromdancing, I don't know. But every
now and then it would just hurtfor no reason because it was bunned up.
Yeah, well, I have togo clean my room. All rite

(30:42):
more later later outside. Ooh,but a scene setting. Yes, it's
lovely out here. The sun isshining, the birds are chirping. It's
a glorious day. Praise the Lord. To be fair, you can't really

(31:03):
go hey, how's the ambiance ofoutside? The sun shining, the birds
chirping. Because the sun's going toshine, and you live near right next
to birds, you raise them yourself. So oh, randomly birds start chirping.
Know these birds that I breed?Call it right out there. Ye.
I don't know why I'm writing.It's just that I said I would

(31:26):
finish this diary in the next twoweeks, and I aim to do it.
I don't remember writing that. Well, hang on, did you finish
the dory in the next two weeks? Because if you don't remember writing it,
that's probably why you didn't finish itbecause you didn't remember that that was
your aim. Maybe not. Ican only write for about ten minutes because

(31:48):
The Wizard of Oz is going tobe on soon. I have decided to
tape it. Yeah, because you'vegot to watch that frame for a frame
or you're missing the plot. Yeah, or fourteen hours of it. I
love the way budgies walk. They'reso cute. Okay they are. They
kind of waddle what paras do whenthey walk. A crush on one now

(32:10):
something something looks Cutean's walking? Inow love it. And two feet Heartby.
I don't really know if I likeJeremy. I think maybe I thought
I did. I don't like anybody, and that's final, very healthy.
Thank for this afternoon, yes,because that's going to change. I don't

(32:32):
know what I should do about Natashaand Deborah. Okay, they're kind of
not my people, if you getwhat I mean. If they had come
for the hike up table Hill,they probably would have been bored and they
wouldn't have thought the things we laughedat were funny. Yeah, it's yeah,

(32:52):
got me thinking about friends, Iguess. Okay, the phone is
ringing dot dot dot. It's notfor me. Well, clearly because you
had time to write. The phoneis ringing by the time you've written that,
you'd go to answer the phone andthere would have hung up because no

(33:12):
one else. I think my mumwould have been inside. Yeah, oh
here we go. I think I'llgive up skating and maybe dancing. Okay,
still been dancing, yep. Sojust give away your entire personalities.
It takes up too much time comparedto what's the yearning you have to do

(33:34):
that This time is consumed with youknow, I've had this weekend kind of
to myself. Like I used tothink, oh I have to go skating,
you kind of tie me down.Now I have heaps of time to
do whatever I feel like doing.Okay, might have just yeah, maybe

(33:54):
a little bit of burnout. Yeah, it does get into that type of
routine. Whereas particularly such a physicalexersion. So and it might have been
because I also had musical rehearsals.So between dancing, skating, musical homework
school and also too, you've probablydated or had a crush on probably eighty

(34:16):
percent of the people at skating,so it probably was a little bit like
you had a little roller decks.Oh yeah, that's right. Six weeks
ago you were dad and then yeah, so I can book you in for
about four months. Is that okay? Maybe I just want to have less
commitments. Yeah, your own time. Happy with that, But it could

(34:39):
have been that I'm off to seethe Wizard bye later. The Wizard of
Oz was, of course excellent,and I got it all on tape.
Shock. I cried at these partswhen missus Golch took Toto away, Dorothy

(35:04):
was stuck in the castle when shesaid goodbye, and right at the end,
Okay, I'm taping back to thefuture. Now I'm getting two dollars
to do it from Mike. Okay, so not only are you breaking copyright,
you're now getting money for it.So he wanted me to cut out

(35:24):
the ads. Okay, because ifyou had two pretty average length movies and
you cut out the ads, youcould fit them both on one VHS.
Yes, yes, not the factthat you actually are not only stealing the
VHS of it, you're cutting outthe things that fund ye. Yeah,

(35:50):
well I better go oh, writemore later later. I know this is
going to sound really sick, butI think Jeremy might like me. Okay,
all right, he kind of treatsme different than the others, if
you know what I mean? No, I don't, so tell us I

(36:15):
know. Okay, La Bamba ison tomorrow night. I love that film.
Is there a movie you really don'tlike? And also what a bump
of like? Kudos to the programmingteams in nineteen ninety TV to go like
Back to the Future Wizard of OzLabomba. It's like, what a what

(36:37):
a back to back back trio?Yeah, they would have sold heaps of
blank tapes that week. Yes,I think so. Good Night, Monday,
July the ninth, nineteen ninety DearDiary, I do my outsiders speech
today for the first time. I'mnervous. I don't think it's that good.

(37:01):
Oh well, okay, so Ididn't normally get nervous when I had
to present things at school. Maybeif I'd spent more time on my outsider
speech instead of writing in my diary, maybe if I'd done the thing that
I was supposed to do, thething might have actually been done. What

(37:22):
classic and sort of insightful. InsightLike, if I'd done the thing,
it would have been done amazing.Why didn't they ever think of that before?
If I had simply eaten food.I wouldn't have starved. You must
be really smart to think of thingslike that, though, See I'm right
up here. Yeah, I getmy plate the yay, I'll go nout

(37:47):
and write later. That must havebeen before school later. The plate is
excellent. It's hard to talk though. I watched La Bamba. I cried
at the end. I got around of applause for my speech, but
no one else did, so itmust have been good. Okay, all

(38:12):
right, Well, yay for mediocracy. And yeah, I found out at
musical rehearsal that Debra and Carol havebeen best friends for ages. Okay.
I can't talk to Debra about ittomorrow because she'll be away at her dancing
exam. Okay, so that's prettyserious, like a dancing exam thing that's

(38:37):
fairly a dance. Yeah. She'spretty high up in ballet. Okay,
so she's doing ballet as well asdoing the street dancing you're doing. No,
she didn't do the street dancing.Okay, all right, but she
was in the school musical. Ahyekay, my throat hurts. See,

(38:58):
sometimes it's hard to figure out whetheryou're talking to me now in current time
or pastime. It's my diary.Okay, yeah, I guess it's the
middle of winter. Say, andyou just had been baptized in a freezing
pool of in the middle of winter. Yeah, Tuesday, July tenth,
nineteen ninety I can get heated baptismpool. It was heated. Yeah,

(39:23):
it wasn't cold, of course,of course it would be. Why do
I think anything and indoors? Ohyeah, indoors, but it is.
Okay, I'm going to stop therebecause there's a joke about there's a joke
about a priest and some cocktails andbasically a hot tub in the in the
baptism pool. I do remember aphoto actually from my baptism that I always

(39:45):
found really amusing because the minister whobaptized me was black, and he was
dressed in a white robe and hereis like super pale me dressed in black
shorts and T shirt. That contrast, he was really tall, I was
really short. And shout out tothe photographer for nailing the white balance on

(40:08):
that and being able to expose forit correctly. So, okay, that's
pretty funny. So Tuesday, Iam at home with a sore throat.
Okay, I hope it's not asbad tomorrow because I love school and I
want to talk to Deborah and tellMatthew about it. Okay, I guess

(40:31):
there's Matthew who has the crush onme. But I'm guessing we've become friends
if I'm confiding in him about afriendship trouble. Okay, my knee really
hurts a sore throat falling apart.Yes, I just thought of something.

(40:57):
Now, Rachel is really my bestfriend through advancement or attrition for the others?
Well, because I was, youknow, she was kind of my
out of school closest friend. Deborahwas my best friend. But if Debra's
not going to be my best friendanymore because she's best friends with Carol,
that means Rachel is my best friendwhen by default. Yeah, I haven't

(41:21):
spoken to her for a while though. Okay, well, schools, is
this like your boys thing? Islike you're my best friend and they don't
know. No, no. WhenI leave school, I either want to
go into acting or be a historyteacher or an anthropologist. That would be

(41:45):
heaps of fun. There's a widebirth I wanted to be a history teacher,
did you I still want to bea history teacher. I can't remember
actually ever wanting to be a historyteacher. Pretty mediocre history. I really
enjoyed ancient history, though. Ienjoy the narrative of history, and I
think that I would have been theturn the chair around. Yo kids,

(42:05):
let me tell you about the storyof this, as opposed to I'm not
going full youth pastor yo, let'srap about Jesus type of history. I
was much better at telling the storyof things from the actual dates and stuff.
So here's why, and here's whyit's important. Yeah, the dates
part was pretty boring. Last night, I'm guessing at musical practice, Janelle

(42:34):
and I were talking about Sean Fielding. Okay, I can't remember who Janelle
is right now, obviously speaking tomy school. Yeah, in the musical
and someone you're talking to. Ifhe plays football for his school, then
he'll be at our school tomorrow afternoon, because that particular school was playing our

(42:58):
school Wednesday afternoons. Yeah. Right. As a joke, I got Janelle
to tell Glenn to ask Sean whyhe hasn't wrung me, okay, because
remember we were talking on the phoneall the time and then suddenly just didn't
anymore. Ah, yes, okay, yeah, oh, funnily enough,

(43:22):
it just says it's been around threemonths. All of a sudden, we
just stopped wringing each other. That'sprobably why. Anyway, Mom just came
home with some anti coles from mysore throat. So I'll go now and
write more later. Okay, whatwas your favorite sore throat? Lozengehals AHOs

(43:47):
all day, every day. Iloved anti coles, but I'm pretty sure
that they've changed the formula now becauseI just don't taste like they used to.
Actually, yeah, Butterman thos.Yeah, I hated throaties because they
had a cat stop it. Doyou remember throaties? Uh? Yeah,

(44:15):
I do. They were like littlered jubes. Yes, and they were
actually pretty good. Yeah, that'swhy no one liked them, because they
actually worked. Yeah, but theytasted the kind of ani CD. They
weren't completely licorice gross. They hadthe thing in it that actually fixed your
through it. That's why that tasted. Yeah. Butterman thols are pretty good

(44:37):
and anti coles, and I wouldsay butterman thos anti coles and throat with
a top. I don't think vixedvapor drops were quite out yet, not
yet, but once they came out. They were pretty good. They were
the bomb very much, all right, So yeah, thanks mum. Later,

(45:00):
there's a show on ABC at fiveo two pm in the place of
Monkey called The Eye of the Dragon. Stephen King wrote a book called that.
I wonder if it's the same thing. Okay, I don't think it

(45:21):
was. Okay, I don't wantto say the next sentence because I know
you're going to say something about it, or at least think something about it,
or just give me a certain look. I know you're going to I'm
sucking anti colls. Can I sayI'm glad you are, because that's what

(45:47):
you're supposed to do with them.That's better than what I thought you would
say. Well, you could eitherbe doing it. You could also be
snorting it, or it could bea rectal insertion. No, but yeah,
basically I'm using a product as intendedis kind of I don't have much
to go with. I was justthinking, considering that your face earlier when

(46:09):
I said throw tease that if Isaid I'm sucking anti coals, But if
you said I'm sucking on coals,then I'll go, well, he's a
lot, but I can't really goanti anti coal and that's the thing.
The only thing you would be astretch is like I'm sucking on anti coals,
and you'd say, well, whendid she transition? Helping a lot?

(46:37):
They would helping a lot. Yeah. I just hope I'm well enough
to go to school tomorrow. Okay, I'm pretty hungry. All I've eaten
today is three peanut butter sandwiches anda Lammington. Still that's pretty decent,

(46:58):
Okay, a starving child, threepeanut butters. Yeah, we're having pies
for tea good pie. Candid Camerais on TV tonight Classic Classic, so
is Married with Children. I couldn'tthat's where my anxiety comes from his Candid

(47:23):
Camera, because well that's where itwas exposed, because I'm like, that's
funny. But I just had theempathy bomb of just like, oh those
people just say, yeah, that'swhy any of those practical jokes liked.
I can't. Yeah, yep.I think the latter is a stupid and

(47:43):
disgusting program and should be banned fromtelevision. Okay, all right, hush
hush dance. But okay, Iactually like Marab with Children. I don't
remember not liking it. Okay,that's pretty funny. Couldn't have been one
of those things. I remember atthe time it was a lot of the

(48:04):
things you don't like because you're toldthey're not great, so you were just
parodying what you were told, like, oh, this isn't a good show.
So probably could have been like influencefrom Churchill because it was pretty something.
I wouldn't say it's risque, butit was pretty forward at the time
with yet yeah yeah, so yeah, okay, I've always liked it.

(48:29):
So hmm, I'm going to getsomething to eat now, because you know,
the three peanut butter sandwiches and theLambington isn't enough. All rite more
Later later, Natasha Taylor Scott justrang. She told me lots of things.

(48:52):
Well, you know how Karen andSusan hate me, do they They're
just yeah, some girls at schoolthat apparently didn't like me very much.
Will They asked Deborah if she likesme, and she said, I don't
know. Okay. Sharon Law askedher the same question and she said no.

(49:19):
And she said to Natasha about me, she is such a dog.
This is pretty hardcore. So nowI know what she thinks of me.
And Natasha said that Deborah will probablytry and turn people against me. Great,
I just don't know where this hasall come from. Do you know?

(49:40):
It doesn't make sense though? Ijust scrolled back a little bit.
Debra's at her dancing exam. Howdid all of this happen? All these
conversations take place Debra's at her dancingexam. A good call. Hmmm,

(50:01):
that's interesting. So now I knowwhat she thinks of me. And Natasha
said that Deborah will probably try andturn people against me. Great, at
least now I know Natasha is myfriend. Okay, So because she's informing

(50:22):
you of this then, And asKimberly said, if you've never got anyone
to hang around with, you canalways hang around me, okay, all
right, yep. It's like bigsisterly stuff. Fairly solid, yep.
Even so, the news is upsetting. I think I might write Deborah a
letter. But what on earth didI do to make her hate me?

(50:45):
And what did I do to deserveall this? Natasha said, it might
have something to do with me becominga Christian. True, I do talk
about God a lot. Natasha listens, and Deborah does anyway, Natasha said,
Deborah gets sick of it, thenwhy didn't she say anything. I
wish she had told me everything herself. Well, all I can do is

(51:07):
find out her side of the storyand pray, okay, right, yeah,
dad, reckons I should You're asa Christian though, so yeah,
yeah, maybe since I've got baptized, maybe that's what I mean. I'm
not casting dispersions on you, butof the people I've known who've been baptized

(51:28):
in the teens, that becomes apersonality for a good year, year and
a half. And that's what theytaught me about. Highly possible, but
still it's a good point. Whydidn't Debra say anything to me? Maybe,
well, let's go back to yourmum and the baptism thing. Could
it have been the fact that becauseit was so prevalent in the community to

(51:52):
come out and say, oh,you become a Christian and da, da
da, And she couldn't really say, hey, I'm sick of hearing about
you being a Christian because if itgot out, not that it affected her
directly, but could have been somesocial ostralization, if of her, of
her or like if it got backto her parents or No. I think

(52:14):
it was more the opposite. Peoplewere more likely to be ostracized if they
were openly Christian at school. Okay, all right, yeah, dad,
reckons I should write a book.I still I still agree with that.
So, yes, what will Iwrite? I have no idea, but
I know how about this, andI've written, I guess sort of a

(52:37):
book blurb. Okay, some proseexcellent. Yep. So it says insert
name here because I haven't thought ofa name for the character. Yeah.
Oh, it's just I haven't thoughtof a name for the main character of
the book. Okay, so Iknow what we'll do. Pick a boy's

(52:57):
name, just a random boy's name, Jared Jared, and a girl's name
Sarah. Okay, Jared has alwaysbeen a rebel, has always been bad,
but when he meets Sarah, hiswhole world changes. Okay, that's

(53:17):
my book blurb. I love you, know, I love you with all
of my heart in existence. Thatis pretty much the most generic book blurb
that I've ever heard. Is like, yeah, book about person does thing.
I'm thirteen, Look I get it, and I said I love you,
and it's all good. But I'mjust saying, like you if you

(53:42):
went into a place and say,hey, I've got a pitch for you,
and you said that they'd be like, Okay, that's a good start.
What's next? You know what?I'm actually thinking of doing Nano Raimo
this year, So maybe I shouldtake that yes and turn it into something
yes, Sarah, something that's morethan like two sentences or something like that

(54:04):
and it's not like person does thing. Yeah, okay, that was my
idea for a novel anyway, allright, well, I look forward to
look forward to reading that novel whenit comes out that it says I don't
know. Yeah, okay, Idon't know at well I better go now,
all write more tomorrow. See youthen. I don't mean to sh

(54:30):
on your Yeah, I feel bad, but you know what I mean.
It's like, yeah, yeah,it is very generic and it's very formulaic,
and it's been done a million timesbefore. But you are you are
understanding what you enjoy to read.So that's what you Yes, oh exactly.
I would have been so into anythingthat was. Yes, good girl

(54:52):
meets boy from the wrong side ofthe tracks yeah, and walks past other
boy and heads get turned. Yeah. See what you need to do?
You need to make someone. Youneed to make the bad boy a skater
and the good girl and the goodgirl is a classically trained figure skater,
and their two worlds can't meet.You're a Romeo and Juliet of like,

(55:13):
no, man, you've got tobe from the streets and do street street
skating. And then then oh no, you've got to be in the classical
world of figure sat skating. Andthen you do the classic like there skating
together and isn't it great? Andthe fathers him to to figure skate,
and he teaches her to street skate, and the father goes, no,

(55:34):
you can't, you can't skate withhim. He's a bad influence. And
they sneak out and skate together,and then she teaches him some moves and
then the thing that wins in thecompetition is the fact that they did a
street move on the ice and it'sall strictly boor room on ice. Very
much interesting. Okay, okay,we'll see like the Frosty Heart or something,

(56:01):
or the Frosty Heart. I'm writingthat down, the frosty Heart.
Jared and Sarah our love is fullysick, fully sick. You know,
I'm going to use this, Okay, snow no bounds, Oh no,

(56:30):
okay, that's great. Okay,So I said I'll write more tomorrow,
but then I've put later. Okay, I don't know why I keep writing.
I mean, it's not as ifI have no one to talk to
about Deborah, and I've written everythingI was told. It's just that I

(56:54):
can't understand why she would do somethinglike this, Like it's bad enough for
her not being my best friend anymore, but now to learn these things she's
been saying about me, that reallytops it off. I had no idea
at all what it's about, whatstarted it. Now it's just like she
suddenly turned on me. And hasthis been confirmed to you by her?

(57:17):
Or is this what you've heard fromother people? That's what Natasha taught me
on the phone. Well, I'mnot going to jump ahead and guess,
but could be that. Does shehave nefarious intentions to break you to it?
Don't know, But then I've writtenI'm not going to be best friends

(57:37):
with Natasha. Best friends just breakapart again. My chemical romance very emote.
Life is pain, yes, noteveryone may be yes. And I'm
very tired. So I'll go nowand see you later. Bye, A'll
rite tomorrow. Bye bye, mmhmm hmm. Love on the edge is

(58:05):
the other name love on the edge. I'm writing all these down. I
need to start a notebook for NanoRamo, so I'll transfer them into that.
So yeah, bye, bye,bye and bye, because that's where
we're leaving it for this episode.It's a bit of a heartbreaker. M

(58:28):
M yeah, okay, my bestfriend. I've experienced enough of it,
not directly, but I've experienced enoughof it with people to know that just
because one person is a source ofinformation about other people, it's not always
accurate or true. Mm hmm.So, and they could have misinterpreted something.

(58:55):
Actually, one thing that I haveexperienced is two people have had a
shorthand with each other, and whendescribing part of that to another person,
that shorthand has been misinterpreted, andthat person's gone back to original person said
oh, this is what the badthings done, And when the two of
them actually finally resolved it, it'slike, oh, yeah, no,

(59:16):
it's fine. It was just someonedidn't get the in joke. How do
you misinterpret she's a dog? Though? But okay, I could say it's
like you and I were joking beforeabout your love of boys. Yeah,
and I got, oh, she'ssuch a dog like dog. I gotta

(59:37):
say oh, she's such a dog. But you know, when I say
that to you, there is afifteen years of nuance behind it where you're
like, oh, I know whathe's saying. If she had said that
and not given that context or nuance, then it could have been and also
too jealousy could have she I thinkshe could have got a rumor from someone

(01:00:00):
else that you like someone that sheliked, and you were trying to steal
whatever whoever she liked away from them, so and it just never got confirmed
with any person. Or she couldhave been being incredibly sarcastic. Yes,
Like if you ask someone what doyou think of your best friend? Yeah?

(01:00:22):
Like, oh, I think she'sa dog, Like what do you
think I think of my best friend? Ask me what your bestie is like?
Ask me the questions like what's yourbest Do you like? Oh?
Such a bitch? Yeah? Thingslike, and then they'll be like,

(01:00:42):
what to understand? To describe thefifteen years, you have to understand every
part of that sentence, like theway I'm throwing it off, the way,
the speed of which I had thatresponse. Yep. If you can
understand that, then I can accuratelydescribe to you that. But I can't
sit down and go how long you'veyou got? Let me give you fifteen

(01:01:02):
years weather of history to get youto Oh, such a bitch, such
a bitch, Yeah, such abitch. But I could always say she's
such a bitch, like a badassbitch. She's just like she's all that
sort and she's such a bitch.She'll cut you if you hurt her or
something like that, and she's fierceand loyal and all that stuff. So
yeah, it's just like it's thatAustralian vernacular of loving through the gentle teasing

(01:01:28):
and insult. Yes, yeah,that's what I am. It's like how
you say all the time, Ionly insult the ones I love. It's
like how you can use mate andmate and mate and mate has seven different
reasons, but champ only has maybeone or one and a half. So
if someone says, how you going, Champ, it's like ool, but
like he's my mate, get stuffmade or something like that. So yeah,

(01:01:52):
it's just interesting because relationships are socomplex there's hard to sort of especially
through third parties. Yeah, sowhat I said before wasn't quite true.
Like I said, I only insultthe people that I love. It's actually
I insult people that I love,and I also insult people I really dislike.

(01:02:17):
Good luck figuring out which one youare. Can I offer a bit
of nuance to that statement. Sure, you put effort into the insults to
the what people you love, becauseit's a way of showing love and effort
through like, oh you're coming.But with the people who you really don't

(01:02:38):
angry, you'll throw whatever anger isout at them. Yep, you won't
take that time to go hang on. That insult works for that person because
we have that language, we havethat understanding, and I can say that
without them taking Whereas you get tosee someone who cuts you off in traffic
or something, you can just yellsomething out to make yourself feel better.

(01:02:58):
Yeah, insulting for different purposes.Yeah, well, it's even like it's
not even insulting. It's like,I'm so comfortable with you, I can
we can say something naughty without itwithout having to apologize and get all that
stuff. Yeah, we know theother person is not going to take it
to heart because we're not really beingserious. And the only and when,

(01:03:21):
and that's where a lot of thingsbreak down is where people sort of don't
understand what's said with with Justin saidwith efforts and love, and that's raight,
bitch. I'm not the one blowinganti coal. No, you're just

(01:03:44):
buttering mentholes needs work. Yeah,it was terrible. I would have gone
with you should leave menthols but alonebecause it's butter menthols, but her mentho
but but omentthols. Why are youeating a buttamenthals? Obviously, my my

(01:04:05):
puncture as good as my novel novels. It's smoothing the it's made on the
tongue and cake you do, sodoes any co any cold coats, And
it's got that core of vitamin C. And we have lost that family friend.

(01:04:29):
I don't think we had it becausethey're all marked explicit I know,
but it's like get it. Look, if you've gotten to the end of
it, well done, congratulations,good job. I'm going to find a
pack of it and send them toyou. There'll be a ways to hate
them. Well for the anniversary,I'm a stop. It's gonna say I

(01:04:59):
have a girl. Now I getstrip cels. Okay, grown ups,
do you have a flavor preference strawberry? I'm not allowed to have strips?
Why not? Well, I can'thave some of the strepsils that have some
of the stuff in it, Ilike the antiseptic and the anti anesthetic and
all that. Kind of got tobe careful with all that stuff. But

(01:05:21):
Classic Orange does it for me ifI can get it. But Classic and
mint tea. Oh really yeah,so mint tea, peppermint tea and the
strepsils fixed me up pretty good.I can't do met peppermint tea. I

(01:05:42):
don't say I enjoy it. Look, I'm not going to go what do
I feel like? I could smashthe strips al or two now, But
in the moment, if required,that's what I. Oh, I could
do with a cast on my leg, let me just go break it.
No, yeah, you know,if if push cames to shove, that's

(01:06:05):
my go to. I see,yes, but I have to be careful
with the any with my anti bacterialand all that stuff. Yeah, old
man, I am very old man. I'm very broken. I'm stitched together,
you are. I'm not allowed tosay I'm broken. I have to
say I'm stitched together. What's thatJapanese thing? They're like the like the

(01:06:29):
vase or whatever that's been broken andthen it's been mended with gold. Yeah
that I don't know the name ofit, but I know what you're talking
about. That's you mm hmm,yeah, okay, I'll go with it.
Yeah, let's go. Let's goBunning's terracotta pot rather than Japanese beautiful.

(01:06:53):
Then we'll go and see towns andand galow. Yeah, let's go
like in the in the break can, like the broken bin, like seven
dollars off a ten dollar pot.It was cracked and it has been super
glued together. Let's go that,all right? So right, yeah,
let's go slightly chipped garden nome orsomething. I don't Well, I've got

(01:07:15):
a garden chicken and it's comb hasfallen off and I still love it.
So there you go. Let mebe Okay, let's stop this because there's
words coming. That's a chicken thatI'm not going to say, because it's
going to go badly. Were yougoing to say cock? Yeah, something
to do with it, reattached andglued, and then we'd get into the

(01:07:36):
discussion about the nineteen nineties classic hitDetachable Peinis and yeah, so yeah,
that's probably a good spot to end. Hey, I was going to say,
I'm your reattached superglued cock and yeahno, and the irony is I
can't have a comb because I've gotno hair to run it, so got

(01:07:59):
no needs. My cock's got noneed for a need for a cone.
You really are a diar kid,Yes, exactly right. Hey, no,
it's a nice smooth ballsacke. It'smanscaping if you if you want to
get on an sponsorous manscape, thereyou go. We can do something like
that. Let's get some sort ofa razor Rai's a company. Well,
speaking of which, our Instagram artDiary of my Bestie. It is a

(01:08:24):
good Instagram. It is wonderful.People love it and are doing things,
and there's music as well. Yep. And we are absolutely one hundred open
to sponsorship. Raise a club orwhoever you are who would sponsor us though,
Hm, you know what we needto do is get a diary maker

(01:08:45):
sponsor. Oh okay, maybe KickieCase probably too high class for for this
podcast. Daria, my bestie broughtto you. You buy big pens,
get seventy for three dollars office works. I'll work on it. Maybe Bunnings

(01:09:10):
would sponsor us, Oh yes,because we've talked about them a lot.
Yeah, Well to be fair oneof the guys you crush their heart,
blue water, Blue Blue Haven Pools. See our first outside broadcast, should
we from our bunnings and we'll dothe sausages as well. Yeah. See,
we'd have to wear masks or somethingthough, to stay anonymous. True.

(01:09:38):
Maybe we could dress up in likeyou Mickey Mouse type costumes. We
see you need to write your bookThe on the On the Edge of Love
or something like that, and thenwe can have masks of the characters.
You can be I'll be Jared,you can be sir. Yeah, okay,
chuck me in a dress like areaother time, just just to kind

(01:10:00):
of, you know, keep iteven more anonymous. They're not going to
guess. Yeah, oh so yeah, all right, we'll do it.
Could work. Okay, Bessie,I love you very much and love you.
We will see everyone next time.Okay, goodbye, bye bye