Disability World with Norma Stanley ft Michelle Artis

Disability World with Norma Stanley welcomes author Michelle Artis

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, my name is Norma Stanley, and welcome to Disability World. Hello,

(00:36):
and welcome to Disability World, wherewe discussed various topics of interest or
and about the disability community with individuals, community leaders, people in business,
education, politics, music, sports, entertainment, and more. I'm your
host, Normas Stanley, and I'mreally excited about our guest today. It's

(00:58):
a young mother is Michelle Artist.She's an author of a book called I
Am Different, and I want herto tell us all about this book and
the journey that led her to writingit. So we're gonna go ahead and
bring in miss Michelle Artist. Hi. Norma. Well, I'm so thankful

(01:19):
that you have some time to comeand talk to us about your book.
I'm excited about learning more about yourbook. Tell us about first of all,
about you. Let's let's find outa little bit about you as a
mother of a son with disabilities.Tell us a little bit about you first,
and then we can talk about yourbook. Yeah. So I am
a mother. I'm from Connecticut andI am a mother of two. I

(01:42):
have a daughter that's sixteen and she'sa junior in high school. And then
I have my son who is eleven, who was in sixth grade and he
was diagnosed with spina bifida, andthat's who I wrote the book about.
Okay, okay. So obviously thisis something that he was not born with,
though it's something he acquired. Spinabifida is something actually that Aiden was

(02:08):
born with, but we didn't knowuntil he was one years old. So
that's when we found out that hewas going to have this condition. Aiden
was born with clubfoot, and sowhen he was going to the orthopedic doctor,
he would have to get casted aboutonce a week on his right foot,

(02:30):
and the orthopedic doctor said, atone point, he was like,
Aidan's not really picking up his headthe way a one year old should.
And I guess we didn't really noticeit because he was such a beautiful baby
and we were always carrying him becausehe always had that cast on his right
foot. So it's nothing that wedidn't notice because he was always smiling,
you know, and he was alwayshappy. And that's when we, with

(02:53):
the recommendation of the orthopedic doctor,we took him to get testing done and
then that's what and they found outthat he had spina bifida. Now,
can you tell us exactly what thatis, because you know, there's so
many different disabilities and so you know, my daughter was born with siper palsy.
He's so you know, so she'sintellectually and physically developmentally disabled. So

(03:15):
tell us what the spina bifida is. So spina bifida it is when it's
it's the medical term is light bulmanninjacial and it's basically at the end of
it has its different severities. Iwill say that Aiden's wasn't as severe.
I do feel like it was caughta lot earlier. He would have more

(03:38):
movement to his legs because there aresome people that do have spina bifida that
can walk, but they just kindof walk with a limp depending on how
severe it is. So it isa fat pocket at the bottom of the
spine and that's what grows. Soinstead of the nerves shooting to the legs,
the nerves are shooting to that fatpocket. So that's what was,

(04:00):
you know, preserving him from hisfeeling in his feet. I thank you
for sharing that information. And sohe's eleven years old. Now what competed
you to write the book and howdid that come about? Aiden is eleven
years old and I actually had theI call this book honestly, it's a
gift from God, because it cameto me. I was, you know,

(04:25):
showering one day and the words,the rhymes just started coming into my
head and I said, you know, let me start to write this down.
And so I went into my iPhoneand I went into the note section
and I started jotting down these rhymesto you know, to something that I
just thought that could have been apoem. And then as the days were
going on, new rhymes were justcoming to me. And I mean,

(04:47):
when I tell you I'm I couldsay I'm an author now, but before
I could say, I was,you know, a full time working mom,
which I still am. But thewords were coming to me, and
so I just started jotting it downand the notes of my iPhone and it
lived there for about a year anda half and then one day I said,
you know what if I took thesewords and I put them on a

(05:09):
piece of paper. And that's whatI did. I typed it up and
I put on a piece of paper. And it's a short story. It's
about twenty four pages, and soit could almost look like a poem actually,
because it does right, And Iwas like, let me read it
to Aiden and see what he thinksabout this. And so I was like,
Aiden, can I read you something? And I read it to him

(05:30):
and it brought him to tears andhe's like, mom, it's so perfect.
And I said, you know,now, I know that this is
something that I actually have to seethrough. I have to make sure that
I finished this project because I didn'tknow that I was going to get that
reaction out of him, and hejust he loved it. Because what the
book really showcases is that although youcan have differences, you know, Aiden,

(05:56):
I call children that walk are ableto children right, and Aiden,
because he can't walk, well,he does it differently, I would say,
because he could stand in things likethat. But he uses the wheelchair
because when he does long distances,it makes him really tired. So that's
why you know, he really likesthe chair. And he's really fast in
it too. So I mean,I'm always chasing him, chasing him,

(06:19):
replacing the wheels to the wheelchair.But I just watched him navigate through life.
And Aiden's biggest thing is that healways wants to be included and he
always wants to be able to doanything that anyone else could do. As
his mom, I just always wantedto make sure that I always gave him

(06:40):
that fair chance. So then Inoticed that Aiden was able to do things,
but he just had to do itdifferently. And then came up with
the title I Am Different, andthe different is in quotations because different can
meet a lot of different things.Yeah, and you know, because we
are mothers of children with disabilities,you know, we are some of the

(07:00):
most fiercest advocates for our children andfor the community, and so you know,
like you, my daughter is mucholder, but another when she was
a young girl and a little girl, the same thing. You know,
I didn't know what was going onuntil she was almost a year old.
And then they diagnosed her with silverPauls because she was delayed in some of

(07:23):
the things she was supposed to bedoing in terms of milestones, and so
we had to start the therapies rightaround nine months old when we realized that,
you know, they thought she wasdevelopmentally delayed. But you know,
it's the thing is that once werealize that they are going to be some
challenges, we go into warlf speedtrying to figure out what we can do

(07:46):
to maximize their potential and to makesure that they have the best chance to
have the most typical life, ifnot an extraordinary life as possible. And
so what was your journey like asyou you know, navigated the challenges of

(08:07):
you know, accepting you know whatyou were going to be dealing with and
managing it. Well, yeah,absolutely So. When I first found out
that Aiden was going to have spinabifida and they even presented us with the
wheelchair, in my mind I wasI was kind of against it. I
was like, because you know,I serve an awesome God, and I

(08:30):
said, you know, there's nothingin life that he cannot do. So
I really had to battle with afew things, even as a mom,
and like what could I have donedifferently to have changed this circumstance? And
I had to start shifting my mindsetbecause instead of saying what could I have
done differently or why me? Ithad to turn into this is a blessing,

(08:54):
this is a gift, and that'swhy he gave it to me because
he knew I was able to handleit. And when it came to the
wheelchair, I looked at it andI said, you know, to imagine
my child to have to sit ina chair. It was almost kind of
hurtful, But then when I sawthe joy in his face. I mean,
he was one years old and thechair was so tiny, and he

(09:16):
lit up like a Christmas tree andhe was just so ecstatic to be in
the wheelchair and just roll around,and I was and that was just a
moment for me and said, youknow what, it's not about me,
it's about what's best for Aiden.And I really had to, you know,
realize that it's not what I want, it's what's best for him.
And how can we continue to dowhat's in his best interest right? Right?

(09:41):
And how do how does he andhis friends, how do they treat
him? You know, he's obviouslybeen in a chair since he was a
toddler. Yeah, so is hetreated differently from any of his friends or
do they embrace him in his chair, you know, with love and you
know, just being upon the teamand the you know the booke. Yeah,

(10:03):
of course, so I believe,you know, in the beginning,
because when you see a child ina chair, even for me as a
mom when he was younger, evenwhen we were in public, I wouldn't
let him go out in his chair. I would put him in the back
of the shopping cart, you know, because he was two or three,
so that was appropriate at that time. And it took a while for me

(10:28):
to be able to take him outin the chair because people would always steer
because you see maybe a grandparent ina chair or someone that got you know,
hurt in a sports injury in achair. But to see such a
tiny guy with a big afro,you know, he has so much hair
in a chair, people would alwayssteer. And of course little kids would

(10:50):
always stare, they would always lookback, and you know, and I
didn't know how that would make Aidenfeel. And so one day we were
in Target and we were in theboys section and there was a picture of
a child that was using a walker. And Aiden has several different equipment.
He has several different equipment. Hehas a moving standard, he has the

(11:13):
walker. We've been trying to dothe crutches, you know, he could
from time to time. He sometimesdoesn't want it, so I'm like,
whatever you feel is best for you. But we saw a picture of a
little boy and he was using awalker, and I won't ever forget it.
Aiden was about four years old,and he's like, wow, Mommy,
look, that kid is just likeme. And that's when I realized

(11:33):
that representation is really so important.And you know, like I said,
Aiden was always a beautiful child.It's so funny. He was a little
boy, but everyone would always say, wow, he's so pretty. And
you know, I was like,what could I do to keep that representation
going? And that's when I decidedto actually put Aiden into modeling. And

(11:56):
so Aiden, actually he's been andyou know he's right now in several targets
in the boys section. So it'sa three sixty moment because we saw a
child, you know, using awalker, and now I could walk into
a target in my hometown and lookup and see my son in his wheelchair.
So it's a beautiful thing. Andyou know he's been on Tommy Hill

(12:18):
for Tommy Hill figure in your FashionWeek, Macy, and these things,
you know, really allowed Aiden tohave the confidence that he needed. And
I say that because putting him outthere in front of the world instead of
hiding him and saying, you know, you were chosen to do a job,
you were chosen to inspire. Youweren't chosen for children that are like

(12:41):
you, that feel like they maynot or they feel like they cannot do
it. They'll look at you thesame way that you looked at that little
boy and target and say, maybeI can do it, Maybe I can
try. And So to answer yourquestion, Aiden makes friends very easily.
I mean we've lived in our samehometown since he was you know, one

(13:01):
years old, so with it beingsuch a it's a smaller hometown. I
live in Trumbull. The kids thathe's gone to elementary school is the same
kids that he now sees in middleschool. So everybody knows Aiden. And
when I pick him up at school, everyone's yelling his name. I mean,
kids are helping him push the chairwhen he asks for it. It's
i mean everyone because he's such alike a light him, They really do.

(13:26):
Yeah, And that tends to bethe case with our children. You
know, my daughter actually does thesame thing. She models too, and
she's you know, she's non verbal. I mean she could say a few
words, but she's you know,she doesn't speak like everyone else. She
has she has about ten words thatshe actually can say, mommy and daddy
being one of them or two ofthem. But you know, she is

(13:50):
definitely she loves clothes, she loveslooking stylist. She loves. She could
tell I let her pick out herown outfits and she has a lot of
those, and there's she's been amodel in the York Fashion weego. So
we again, we want to makesure our children are empowered, that we
want to make sure that they areincluded. We want to make sure that
they are living their best lives possible. So I imploued you for making sure

(14:13):
that Aiden gets those opportunities. Also, that's really cool. Sod did you
reach out to Target or did theyreach out to you? How did that
opportunity come about? So Aiden's actuallywith one of the biggest agencies in New
York. He's with a Zuri agencyand so they do all the legwork for
us and they just submit his pictures. And one thing that I really enjoyed

(14:35):
about them, because I've been approachedby several agencies that are just specific for
children with disabilities, and what Zuriwhat they really said to me. They
were like, you know what,if they're looking for a little boy that
is ten years old, we're submittinghis picture even though he's in a wheelchair.
They're not just submitting his picture foroh, we need a child that's
African American that uses a wheelchair.So they were submitting his picture to everything,

(14:58):
and you know, and like Isaid, you look at Aiden and
you look at him, it's likewow, like that kid, he just
lights up. You know. Sohe did really well. He's in sixth
grade. Now. In sixth grade, it's a lot harder. He has
a science and math. I mean, I feel like I went back to
sixth grade to be honest with you. That's how hard it is. So,

(15:18):
you know, the modeling kind oftook a little bit of a backseat.
But he's so busy. He loveswheelchair basketball, so he yes,
he's huge into wheelchair basketball. He'son the Ryan Martin Foundation. It's a
junior league, and he makes surethat he's like, mom, he alarms
his clock. I'm like, whydon't you like that when it's time for
school. He's a Baturday morning.He has me up. He's like it's

(15:39):
time to go to basketball practice.And I love his dedication. So he's
just such a busy guy. Now, so you know, the modeling kind
of fell back a little bit,but you know, I think that it
really had it had its impact whenit needed to. And yeah, who
did mold him because even with thechildren that he did model with the able

(16:00):
children, everyone always just came upto him like, oh, what are
you playing, You're doing this,you're doing that, and they all just
kind of talk. It's like theyhave their own little world going on.
Yeah. Well it allowed him tobe able to make friends really easily,
like he'll go up to someone andjust start talking to them. And he
gave me the confidence that he neededand hey, I'm just like you,
even though I'm just absolutely absolutely yes. And the other day we were actually

(16:26):
we're at Dave and Busters. It'sso funny, and there was a little
kid that was two years old andAiden came up to me and he's like,
mom, someone saw me. Andthey started to they scream and they
started to run the other way.And I was like, you know,
Aiden, and this is why Iwrote my book. And I always carry
my little business cards on me,just so I could, like, you
know, something like that. Iwould have given to the parent and be
like, oh, you know,this would be a great book for you

(16:48):
to you know, to you toread to your family. It's really family
friendly. But I couldn't find theparents, so I was like, you
know, I don't want to listeninside of David Busters. But you know,
I think if that was Aiden fiveyears ago, you know, it
maybe would have made him feel defeated. But because it's aiding now and I've
instilled in him, people are notscared of you. They just don't know.

(17:11):
Yeah, who is able to copewith that situation? Yeah, And
that's part of the challenge. Youknow, people are you know, they're
taught to not stare, they're taughtto not point. And young children are
you know, they're just children.So they're gonna react because they're not taught,
they're not taught how to interact withpeople with disabilities, and so they're

(17:36):
gonna do what they do. Imean even the adults sometimes they don't know
what to do. They don't knowwhat to say. They you know,
they invade space, they you know, they touch, you know, it's
like there's certain things you're just notsupposed to do. But just be friendly,
just ask the question. It's okayto say hello, and you know,
hi, my name is, andwhat's yours? You know. But

(17:57):
but it's it's a child lenge thatwe have to continue as parents and as
advocates for our children to continue toeducate and inform. Yeah, and because
it's not that people are trying tobe mean, they just don't they're not
used to being it's you know,around families like ours in many cases,

(18:19):
I mean sometimes when even though it'ssuch a huge population, the disability population,
you know, was it sixty twosixty seven million people, So it's
huge in the US. But somehow, I guess, depending on who you
are, you may not see themas often as you may see other people,

(18:41):
but they're right there, and they'rebefore the grace of God go over
with us. Really, you know, life happens, and so you know,
you may be born with it oryou may acquire it, and you
know, as we get older,disabilities tend to kind of show up sometimes.
So it's not something it's something thata community that anybody can be a

(19:02):
part of it at any time.And so it's a constant education process.
And the thing is to keep ourloved ones who may be disabled in any
way, shape or form from whetherit's you know, physically or you know,
intellectually or whatever. To keep themempowered, keep them excited, and
make sure they get included, makesure that they get invited to the party,

(19:27):
because you know, some people,you know, unwittingly and unknowingly are
they just they just don't think toinclude this community. And so that's one
of the things that this show isall about, is to just share information
and share stories like yours and Aidan'sabout, you know, how awesome you

(19:48):
know your life is and how awesomeAiden's life is. As a result of
this, this you know, whatwe call a blessing. Other people may
think of it as a something else, but it's an assignment. And that
absolutely is because not everybody can handlethe challenges that come with raising children like

(20:08):
Galans. Yeah. Absolutely every time. It's so funny because you know,
I also I'm a makeup artist,so like you know, I'll talk to
my clients and they're like, oh, do you have any kids. I'm
like, yes, i have ason, and I'm like, oh,
you know, they're like, oh, what how is you am? A
eleven you know, and we'll justget into the conversation. I was like,
yeah, he was foremost friend up. It from everybody, I mean,
there has not been one person doesn'tgo, I'm so sorry that's their

(20:32):
first and I said, I'm notsorry. You don't have to be sorry,
and they're like, wait, what'sgoing on, you know, because
they're just so used to just howI feel bad for you. I'm like,
you don't have to feel bad forme, you know, because there's
nothing wrong to feel bad. Andthen I talk about my book and they're
like, oh my gosh, that'llbe great, you know. And so
it's so funny because today I wentto do a reading at a school for
fifth graders and they had amazing questions. And I always start off with asking

(20:57):
them, do you guys know whatone that's in a wheelchair that's under the
age of and a few kids raisetheir hand, And when I was done
reading the book, I looked overand at a little girl and she was
tearing up and she started wiping hereyes, and you know, it just
goes to show that, you know, once you inform the kids, you
know what I mean, and theyjust want it was the questions like how

(21:18):
does he swim? How does heget on the bus? How does he
roll and dribble the basketball? Like, you know, all these questions that
kids want to know. And that'swhy with my book, and I'll just
kind of show it to you.It's very colorful, you know, So
it attracts kids, and even ifyou are someone that is an older brother,
you could even read it to asibling. And then this is actually

(21:41):
Aiden on the front doing a handstandthat I want signature move. He started
doing handstands about three years ago andI was like, what are you doing.
You're gonna hurt yourself. And Iwas like, why am I Why
am I restricting him? I'm like, doing your handstand, just be careful.
And the back of the book ishis actual picture of him doing the
handstand. So yeah, it's reallyspecial. I call it my labor of

(22:06):
love because I am a self publishedauthor. The purpose of this book is
really to get it into the handsof families all around the world so that
they may able to look at achild that uses a wheelchair and not stare,
but maybe smile and wave, youknow, and just say hi,
awesome, awesome. Well, tellour listeners and viewers where they can get

(22:29):
the book and anything coming up inthe near future that you want to tell
them about. Yes, so youcould get my book on the artist COMPANYLLC
dot com. That's where I sellthem. I chose to do it all
myself, you know, I wasgoing to go to the Amazon route and
all. But I was like,this is something so special. I want
to make sure that when you receiveit it's perfect. So I package it

(22:51):
and I do all that myself.And again it's starting off small, but
I think that it's meant to bethat way because I think in time,
once everyone sees it, it'll gowhere it needs to go. Absolutely absolutely.
And how would people connect with youif they need to? They could
just go on my website, theartist company LLC dot com and there's actually

(23:14):
a message area there so they couldjust message me and it comes right to
my email. So if anything onsocial media, oh well, I have
a personal social media, I'm gonnaplug Aiden social media because his is actually
really cool. It's Aiden p Artistsand that's his social media. So A
Y D I N P A RT I S. And if you go

(23:37):
on there, you could see allof his all of his pictures, everything
that he's been up to him dribblinga basketball. You could see all the
fun that he has. You know, he loves to swim. He I
mean, Aiden, he cannot beleft behind. And so sometimes I even
find myself, well he's on youknow, we do all types of traveling
ways, so him doing piggyback ridesor one of them. He's like,

(23:57):
come on, mom, let's go. I'm like, okay, I'm trying
to go as fast. It's likeI'm only one person. But he does
not want to be last, andhe's very competitive, so he does not
want to be last at all.Awesome, awesome, Well, I thank
you so much for sharing the informationabout your book. And I think,
you know, young people would loveto learn more about that and and like

(24:19):
you said, it's so colorful andlooks like something that you know, young
people definitely need to get their handson the parents to make sure that they,
you know, should that book withtheir children. So thank you for
sharing a little bit about the bookand your son Artist and I mean your
son Aiden, and you know,I'm looking forward to learning more about what

(24:40):
you guys are doing and keeping intouch. So thank you again, thank
you so much for having me.I really enjoyed this talk. Thank you,
thank you well, thank you againfor being a part of disability World
today. That was Michelle Artist andher book I Am Different that talks about
her journey and and you know,some of her poetry and the journey of
her son Aidan, so It wasa great talking with her, and we

(25:04):
look forward to bringing you lots andlots more stories and profiles of people like
Miss Artists and Aidan and so manypeople in the disability community are doing some
amazing things, so we look forwardto bringing you more of those types of
shows and we see you next time. You'd be blessed.